Skip to content

Je Suis OSR

January 23, 2015

On Planet Earth, a bunch of creative types got Call of Dutied by the terrorists, for drawing some naughty pictures and making buttfuck jokes on Mohammed(sp?), but that’s nothing.

Planet OSR is like Bizarro World where everything is reverse: we have to be 24/7 vigilant against rogue “creative” types who are terrorists that threaten to destroy innocent lives with their fucking gross ideologies and shitty Kickstarter projects. Witness:

  • Venger Satanis, who no one can even say his ridiculous name without laughing at him like Nelson, if you put some pennies in his tin cup he’ll tell you how to DM “like a boss.” No clue what that means exactly, but his idea of a boss is Cthulhu so probably some green mood-lighting is involved and maybe you get access to his list of ultra-awesome adjectives including “bilious,” “squamous” and “fhtagn.” This video I think outlines what he thinks makes a great DM, but I didn’t make it past 27 seconds because every fucking video he talks like he just woke up and he’s not exactly sure where he is or who he’s talking to.
  • John Adams aka the Brave Halfling Who Shits His Pants is threatening to publish more material and presumably again wants you to pay to not receive it. He’s still mailing out boxes ordered 3+ years ago at a steady rate of 1-2 per year, God bless his little soul. Is John a real life Brick Tamland? I think so.
  • Perhaps the most vile terrorist threat of all is the Scud launched by James Fuckpig Raggi IV, who wants to unleash upon an unsuspecting world JaMal’s CursedChateau 2.0. All the LotFP fanboys are receiving the news like this, but I reviewed the original and I’m too lazy to find my own link but basically my well argued critique is that it blows hot ass.

I hope that as a community we can unite and take a stand against these terrorists, or at least make fun of the way they look and any other personal or lifestyle attributes that vary from a very narrowly defined norm, including being a pastor at some gay ass church.

Je suis OSR!

 

 

1,060 Comments leave one →
  1. bloodymage permalink
    January 23, 2015 11:08 am

    Btw, just downloaded a couple of computer books in an effort to reeducate myself. And I’m tired of being broke and I’m tired of of being the world’s biggest space cadet! But I’ll game tonight idiot that I am.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      January 23, 2015 11:32 am

      Oh, NO you won’t. But I was looking forward to hearing how Thorkhammer and Blooey would work together. The internet would suffer though; Thorkie would use up all the winking smilies, and Bloo would hog all the facepalm smilies.

      SIGH!!!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 23, 2015 11:46 am

        No lovely estrogen for old men 😦

  2. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    January 23, 2015 11:12 am

    A pope, a pastor,
    A priest of Hastur…
    Damn, this hobby’s
    A disaster!

  3. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    January 23, 2015 11:32 am

    So two other fags take top billing over Jmal for the cursed chateau, eh? I wonder if he is even involved – maybe they just pulled a cancer-stricken-aussie-housewife on his distant ass and claimed it for their own monetary purposes. That would be the blOwSR in a nutshell.

    And that cover – transparent titties! Raggi just pushes publishing to an all new level with each piece of art, I must say. And I wonder if the Pope approves of nipples on the cover of his work?

    • January 23, 2015 11:51 am

      They are looting Black Dougal’s JMal’s corpse. Moldvay taught them well.

      And it took a while to make out dem titties… is Nehwon ghoul hentai a thing? If not, it is now!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 23, 2015 12:25 pm

      Was that something the censors edited out of American Horror Story: Freak Show? They should have left it in. Might have saved that shark jumping piece of shit.

  4. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    January 23, 2015 11:34 am

    Now excuse me as I projectile vomit after having clicked that last link…

    • January 23, 2015 12:03 pm

      Boy, did our host lure everybody into a false sense of security with those innocuous links before slamming us with something out of Kent’s porn feed.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 23, 2015 12:26 pm

      Was that something the censors edited out of American Horror Story: Freak Show? They should have left it in. Might have saved that shark jumping piece of shit.

  5. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    January 23, 2015 12:23 pm

    This doesn’t happen very often, perhaps never again, but I’m going to say something nice. That Cursed Chateau cover painting is pretty fucking awesome.

    I’d still rather see YDIS’s remake of JMal’s CC though…

    • January 23, 2015 12:42 pm

      Whoa, it’s like I don’t even know you, man!

      Wha’ppen?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        January 23, 2015 1:52 pm

        Don’t worry. I’m sure the actual adventure will (still) suck ass.

  6. January 23, 2015 12:55 pm

    “Another in the line of quality LotFP adventures trying to convince your PCs that maybe staying home and becoming a gong scourer isn’t such a bad idea after all.”

    Am I the only one predicting another in the line of killer-GM modules for the roleplaying-as-S&M brigade trying to convince your players that your game sucks and they suck for entertaining your tyrannical mediocrity and maybe they’d be better off playing X-Wing like every other spare body down the game shoppe seems to be doing these days?

    I understand the appeal of adventures which test the skill of players and the resolve of imagined characters – I’m not even averse to freaking players out if it’s done with authentic flair and subtlety (not immense towers of quivering jaundiced shite on the cover) – but I can’t fathom why you’d want to keep doing this “why are we even playing this damn-fool adventure?” stuff again and again and again and again.

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
      January 23, 2015 3:28 pm

      Fuck yeah, yet another module no one will ever actually run for a real gaming group. Still fuckhead douchebags will defend it. Hopefully we get awesome advice like fucking blindfolding you character as they adventure to avoid microscopic serial killers. Go get ’email Raggy, you’re only a couple shitty modules away from being crowned the new pap smear of the OSR by the RPGblundit.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      January 24, 2015 5:50 am

      Cursed chateau was supposedly based on Castle Amber(because in this day and age we base modules off of other modules like the mythical ouroboros), subtract about half the talent, and you have yourself a funhouse dungeon of mediocre quality. Raggs might Loftfpify it a bit with some dick items and effects, but i suspect it will at least be playable in the normal fashion, and a rewrite might add the needed spunk to Jamal’s habitually aenemic brand of fantasy roleplaying adventure(e.g It puts the Gygax in the nonlinear dungeon crawl or else it gets the hose).

      Death Frost Doom(Revised Edition) is definetely a death trap that fucks with players but i think that one i could sell to my players. I’ve read a few older Raggi modules lately and they seem to be mostly dungeon crawls with some weird touches with a few traps on the lethal side, they even had treasure and shit(Stargazer/Hammers/Weirdnewworld/Grindinggear).
      Monolith was one or two good ideas interspersed with the equivalent of OSR white noise.
      Can some kind soul map Ragg’s deathtrap phase, and if so, is he over it yet?

      • January 24, 2015 8:00 am

        So it’s likely to be merely rubbish rather than actively offensive to the senses? That’s good to know. Still won’t be buying it.

        I admit that the unholy union ‘twixt Mals and Raggi might be the only way to make a room full of dust, copper coins and kobold shit worthy of expenditure. I’m still not prepared to endorse it if the result is Yet Another Dungeon Module, though.

  7. January 23, 2015 1:41 pm

    “The Cursed Chateau”? I liked it better when it was called “Castle Amber”.

  8. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    January 23, 2015 2:03 pm

    From Venger Ass Nasty’s Kickstarter FAQ: “After all, teaching is a valuable method of learning.”

    Or this, from the comments: “Try to be as concise as possible. Don’t use 5 words when 3 will do. You need to embrace minimalism!”

    With deep insights like that, I can only imagine how shitty this book will actually be.

    “That’s my personal Venger guarantee.”

    • January 23, 2015 10:30 pm

      A world in which I could learn anything about the Mastery of Dungeons from a man who can’t even sound convinced when invoking his squamous and otherworldly deities is not a world in which I am prepared to suffer life – mine, or others’. I’m not convinced he has the commitment or the credentials to tell anyone shit about anything to do with their life.

    • Scott permalink
      January 24, 2015 12:46 am

      “Be concise. Embrace minimalism!”

      fixed

  9. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 23, 2015 2:40 pm

    Guarantee void in Tennessee.

  10. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    January 23, 2015 6:33 pm

    On further consideration of the LotFPification of “The Cursed Chateau”, two things strike me as hilarious. Item one is that the first thing Raggi is going to do is to rub his sweaty nutsack all over prissy JMal’s suckdungeon, adding his particular brand of toilet humor.

    Random result 23. Curse of Incontinence: The affected character will be afflicted by uncontrolled micturition for 12-144 turns. During this time, said character will leave a trail of urine, increasing chances of being tracked by 95%. At the end of the duration, the character must roll under the constitution score in order to avoid taking 1-4 points of dehydration damage. This curse was inspired by the rare Urologists’ Guild module “Kegel Manor”.

    Even funnier is the fact that Raggs has chosen to publish Jimmy the (other) Scam’s five year old suckdungeon while refusing to publish two of Pundejo’s crapfests. Poor Pundejo, there’s only room for one Polish-American authoritarian weirdo in this hobby, and it ain’t him. Biedny Tarnowski!

    • January 23, 2015 10:55 pm

      Theirs is not a union I’d hitherto considered, nor one that I’d endorse. The divorce rate’s quite high enough without adding that doomed ship to the armada.

      • Scott permalink
        January 24, 2015 12:49 am

        no wedlock 😦

      • January 24, 2015 12:50 am

        But that means – oh my fucksie – the module will be a Bastard! O Jamal, how have you fallen so far?

  11. Kent permalink
    January 23, 2015 7:44 pm

    What fascinates me most about YDIS is the sheer quantity of DUD comments, operating now at around 95%. I never read (and am quite certain no-one else does) comments by:

    Bigby’s Lubed Fist
    Captain Kirks Dick Blood
    FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN
    bloodymage

    and so the activity here on YDIS is NIL, and yet the flipper host ydis keeps churning out a post every two months.

    There really is NOTHING going on here.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 23, 2015 7:46 pm

      Yet here you are, you big nothing.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      January 24, 2015 7:19 am

      Not everybody can equal the 24/7 creative orgasma and constant intellectual leveling that is Some King’s Kent.

  12. Kent permalink
    January 23, 2015 7:59 pm

    Not to mention inconsequential lapdogs like:
    Von
    Master Blaster Belial

    If these were removed from YDIS, JUST FIVE GOBLIN-PEOPLE, I don’t think YDIS would have any traffic at all, which is more than it deserves. Heh heh.

    • January 23, 2015 10:36 pm

      You’re doing that thing where you can’t count again. You name five goblin-people and one authentic saint who’s prepared to trawl your squawking gullet for the occasional grain of insight amongst the frothing vomit – which is more than you deserve, these days. Be a sweetheart and produce something worth reading again, or at least open your bloody forum. How hard can it be to register a Proboards account anyway?

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      January 24, 2015 7:20 am

      For a lapdog, I AM pretty god damn consequential.

  13. Kent permalink
    January 23, 2015 8:26 pm

    Are women stupid cunts?

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-30937492

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 23, 2015 9:08 pm

      We get it, Hibernian Smithers (Smithwick’s-drinking Smithers?) you just don’t dig women.

      Unlike most run-of-the-mill misogynists, you don’t even dig pussy.

      You’d be much more comfortable at “The Spearhead”, until they pile on because you’re gay as well as a woman-hater.

    • January 23, 2015 9:42 pm

      I hear Irishmen piss while lying on their backs. Can you confirm?

      • Kent's Rectum permalink
        January 23, 2015 10:26 pm

        I can confirm. Also, the Irish poop with their pants still up. Unless it’s Kent. His poop just ends up on some lad’s dick.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 24, 2015 9:48 am

      Kent the homosexual Irish mathematician who can’t count to six. What a sitzpinkler!

  14. January 23, 2015 10:53 pm

    It occurs to me that with Chevski now firmly aligned with the axis of tits and gore and Venger Satanis demanding lucre for product, there is an opportunity and a need for a prospective new Pope of the OSR. It would compromise my newfound status as paragon of tolerance and reason to nominate myself, of course, but I am available to bestow my intercessory blessings on the candidate – should one emerge.

    In preparation for the revelation I am establishing a small presence on DRAGONSFOOT and THE RPG SITE, where the Word might be spread. ODD74 has been surveyed and rejected as a den of Qabbalist rats picking at the bones of elder days. To what other dark corners must the Light be spread? PRAISE THE LORD AND HIDE THE CHOIRBOYS!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 23, 2015 11:10 pm

      There’s always “Some King’s Kent”, a well-regarded blog written by a universally beloved gamer who is active on all of the RPG forums. If I’m not mistaken, the proprietor is a mod at the “Knights-n-Knaves Alehouse”.

      • January 24, 2015 12:41 am

        This House of Knights and Knaves intrigues me. Is it the sort of place where one might thrash out ideas for a campaign and receive quality input, or the sort of place reserved for poring over the every extrusion of Saint Gary and Saint Dave, praise be to their names, and the cardinals who throng the entrance to their tombs, wondering who’ll be next? (My money’s on Gene.)

      • Scott permalink
        January 24, 2015 12:53 am

        It’s the sort of place where you shit with the door open, talk about pussy, go on riverboat gambling trips, and make your own beef jerky.

      • January 29, 2015 11:25 am

        As for the tomb of Saint Arneson I got a big crap brewing to fire down the entrance of that dump…

        As for K&K, I don’t know whats going on there ( the original site owner was a regular on my forum but he passed away some time ago), I haven’t been a member for years and I left because of the flavor of the forum posters around 3 years ago. Told them to delete my account and that was the end of the road for me. They do talk about D&D though so I’d recommend it but I’m not showing up there anytime soon. The “former TSR employee finger-popping” is just as bad as any other D&D site and its worse there because they have no former TSR people stopping by. So when Denis Tetrault shows up…. SCREEECHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • February 3, 2015 8:28 am

        KABOOM! I can’t believe I wrote “Denis Tetrault” instead of “Mike Breault”. Wow, see what happens when you talk about old shit? More old shit comes pouring out of the cesspool!

        For what its worth “Tetrault” was a Greyhawk fan who made a Greyhawk city map out of the Williams’ map and it was adopted into the the Greyhawk collective as “official Living Greyhawk”. Of course, I said it was not accurate and blah, blah, blah… how else would the “canon crew” react to pre-Williams D&D information? Anyway, thats one of the reasons that I had a map on a website in 2000 showing what Greyhawk was supposed to look like. Just for the sake of saying Greyhawk wasn’t as lame as it was presented after the late 80’s.

        Anyway, you want to talk about shitty movements in rpgs just look at all that “Living” crap. All that material snowballed into a rpg dung heap.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 23, 2015 11:14 pm

      Oh, don’t forget the Cranky Old Gamer blog… there’s not a lot of activity there, but the proprietor is poised to have a triumphant 2015.

    • February 1, 2015 2:41 am

      Gene, have you flailed yourself in the head recently – or still just smashing your own nuts?

  15. Scott permalink
    January 24, 2015 1:41 am

    Any of y’all ever listen to a metal band called The Lord Weird Slough Feg? Have been catching up on their newer stuff … the name and a *lot* of their early songs are inspired by the 2000AD strip “Slaine” and they did an entire LP called Traveller based on the RPG. They’ve been around about 25 years now and are probably the best US “traditional heavy metal” band working today. (As opposed to loathesome “retro” shit like The Sword.)

    There’s some Thin Lizzy influence there for sure, which brings me to the other question: Kent, how do you feel about Thin Lizzy? Seems to unite two of your great loves, black people and being an Irish half-caste of some sort.

    • January 24, 2015 2:31 am

      Yeah, ever since learning that Erol Otus did a couple of their album covers. Did you ever listen to the Decemberists’ nerd “metal” album based on The Tain.

      Speaking of The Tain, have you ever read Kinsella’s translation of it?

      • Scott permalink
        January 24, 2015 3:27 am

        I’ve heard The Tain album, have never read it or anything related. I know nothing about Irish myth other than the little that Slaine and Thin Lizzy taught me. I’ve read Joyce but didn’t understand his dense allusionary stuff even with annotations.

        I’m neutral-to-positively-disposed to the Decemberists but only have a single song (“This Is Why We Fight”) on my “music that my girlfriend can listen to” playlist. She finds a lot of my other music so obnoxious that I’ve conditioned her to sigh with relief when I play old Florida death metal.

        She doesn’t *mind* traditional heavy metal, but a lot of the bands I like in that genre [Manilla Road, Brocas Helm, Cirith Ungol, etc.] have objectively goofy vocals that make her laugh out loud so it’s hard to enjoy it around her. She is politely bemused by gaming, fantasy, comics, etc. When she heard Hammers of Misfortune, her reaction was HUH HUH THIS SOUNDS LIKE A LARP HUH HUH

        To be fair, I tried to listen to Cirith Ungol when I was a kid because of the gnarly Michael Whelan Elric album cover and my immediate reaction was BAHAHAHAHA FAGS. If I’d have heard Manilla Road back then, I’d have been like “nice voice, Frodo of the Nine Fingers, you going in on turkey legs and pantyhose with Bruce Dickinson?”

        Speaking of hobbit shit, I LOVED Rush as a kid and they just announced dates for their 40th anniversary tour, which may be the last major one they do. Am probably seeing them in Columbus on June 8 if I can bring myself to actually buy myself something for once. My friends here think they’re faggots and my girlfriend only knows them through Trailer Park Boys so I may go by myself.

        I asked if anyone here was in Baltimore or Cleveland because I may still get to do Maryland Deathfest in May and I’ll almost certainly be at Hell’s Headbangers Records’ festival in Cleveland over Labor Day weekend. Last year was a one night deal, they had $1 hot dogs, Nunslaughter chopped up a deer onstage, Shitfucker pissed and puked all over the place, and apparently it smelled like GG Allin playing an abattoir. There’ll be 25 bands and out of the ones they’ve announced, I’m already stoked for Deceased, Profanatica, and Shitfucker.

        Anyway I’m prolix this morning because I’m going through another bout of crippling insomnia and am hitting fugue level, so y’all are getting a fuckin novel with every reply. On the bright side, haven’t been drinking, although if I can’t fall asleep soon I’m going to daydrink until I pass out.

        RIIIIDE THE SNAAAAKE (ride the snake)

      • January 24, 2015 4:59 am

        See if you can churn out 5000 words of ICP slashfic before you hit the wall.

      • Scott permalink
        January 24, 2015 5:57 am

        http://www.ticketmaster.com/mini-gathering-of-the-juggalos-5-columbus-ohio-02-13-2015/event/05004E22ECF15F11

        Day before Valentine’s Day, they may as well call it the Pantymelta

        If I were doing ICP slash I’d totally go Boondox/Blaze Ya Dead Homie, that’s my headcanon OTP

        MCL

      • OABD permalink
        January 24, 2015 7:26 am

        Oscar Anderson Likes this.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 24, 2015 8:45 am

        Scott, you should bring Kent to the Gathering of Juggalos. Kent is out of sorts and none too bright- dude can’t even count to six anymore. He’d be a perfect receptacle for ICP’s muddled message. He could reinvent himself as a juggalo, a Faygo drinking faggo.

        #fuckingmagnetsfuckingkent

      • Scott permalink
        January 24, 2015 8:04 pm

        Our city is crime-free compared to larger cities, but the whole region is very poor and assorted dope has fucked things up. I had a bad childhood but I have little frame of reference for how some of these folks grow up. (One case involving a juvenile was bad enough to be sensationalized nationally and it involved the worst conditions I’ve ever seen in any capacity.)

        I represented about a half-dozen self-identified Juggalos in the years I handled criminal and juvie cases. I also know a sweetheart of a guy who used to be super into that music and has a Hatchetman tattoo on his neck. (Which hasn’t kept him from maintaining a good job.)

        *All* of them were cool as the client population goes. They remind me of the heshers I grew up with – poor, probably not going to college, probably not curing cancer (although the older guy I mentioned is pretty smart), probably kinda blazed at this very moment, probably gets fucked with all the time at home and/or school for whatever, etc. Pretty easy to get along with … just another wave of poor white kids with shitty taste and new flavor text.

        The music is stupid but so is KISS. I’m sure y’all have shitty taste in music. Anyway, there’s no non-ugly explanation for the way kids like that are mocked and messed with.

        I’d party with Juggalos with few reservations (not at my house because 75% of them are holding) and I’m ***100%*** sure they’re more fun than guys who list what they’re drinking in their forum sigs. And, like metalheads, the community is welcoming if you act like a functional person and not some arch asshole. (Even in the Orlando punk and Tampa death metal scenes, n00bs and muggles were way more likely to be proselytized than shunned.)

        Do the Juggalos with clown makeup and flyaway braids etc. even really exist? I’ve never seen one and I feel like it’s maybe not something that happens when cameras aren’t around.

        (They appreciated Bobcat when he did a set at the Gathering. That there should give them some pass.)

      • January 25, 2015 6:40 am

        You don’t need to shame those of us in the “What I’m drinking now” sig community just to make your point. We’re a lot more fun than you think, if only you’d come down off your pedestal to give us a chance to show you.

        Drinking: maraschino liqueur cordial with ginger-infused ice sphericules, and no I won’t share the recipe

      • January 25, 2015 9:09 am

        Oscar Anderson LIKES this! The average juggalo on my facebook is a kid I played B/X with outside the soft beanbag-strewn world of a gifted and talented program and I eventually bought his Monster Manual on the cheap. “Nerd chic” is a luxury.

        Drinking: Fizzy Lifters (lime theraflu dissolved in goldschlager, served neat in sake cups)

      • Scott permalink
        March 9, 2015 9:26 pm

        By the way, I’ve become interested in the Ulster Cycle and am now getting the Kinsella Tain through interlibrary loan. THANKS SOCIALISM

    • bloodymage permalink
      January 24, 2015 9:39 am

      No Wiggers 😦

    • dmdr permalink
      January 24, 2015 3:01 pm

      how you gonna post about Venger without mentioning his new ambition?!?!?!?!

      http://vengersatanis.blogspot.com.au/2015/01/the-purple-islands-animated-series.html

      Mind you, I’ve liked this guy since he tried to lay a curse on the RPG.net mods and am seriously considering giving him money for his DM book.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        January 25, 2015 8:02 am

        I love the fact that Big Purple Dildo now needs a “No Spellcasting!” forum rule thanks to Venger Ass Nasty. It’s like Tipper Gore is running a left wing conservative witch hunt over there.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 25, 2015 3:23 pm

        Which is more powerful, Ass Nasticus’ Cthulhu Mythos Magic or El Pundejo’s Uruguayan Rune Magick?

  16. bloodymage permalink
    January 24, 2015 9:50 am

    Still goin’ crazy w/ this machine. I’m trying to organize the Images from my Seagate. My fiance was a rabid picture taker. I’m trying to eliminate those first but I keep getting “copies.” There are hunnerds of ’em. Any easy way to do this? I ended up w/ a bunch of add-ons in Mozilla trying to organize my 26,000+ images, some of them useless but now I need to get rid of the add-ons. Can’t seem to learn “a little bit at a time.”

    Btw found a great email program: Mailstrom

  17. bloodymage permalink
    January 24, 2015 9:52 am

    And I screwed the pooch, as usual. 😦
    Sigh!

  18. Kent permalink
    January 24, 2015 1:45 pm

    “There’s some Thin Lizzy influence there for sure, which brings me to the other question: Kent, how do you feel about Thin Lizzy? Seems to unite two of your great loves, black people and being an Irish half-caste of some sort.”

    Demi god half caste.

    Some Thin Lizzy songs are great but Im not a fan. I do remember when young running about town of nights with a pal shouting ‘Who’s the Daddy-o?’ in a vaguely aggressive inquiry.

    I only like black women’s *buttocks*, the thin thighed ones. The rest of them you can keep. Come to think of it neither are they as neurotic (Irish), demented (teutons) or vain (slav&russian) as white women; their musculature keeps them calm and when feeling down they sing rather than strike out like dogs.

    All women are whores (excepting Jane Austen & Carole Lombard) because every woman puts a cash value on pussy interaction. They all want something for *pussy*, they just don’t tell you immediately when in a formal relationship. Scott, your girlfriend sounds like a selfish dumb cunt (poetic licence).

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 24, 2015 2:14 pm

      Demi god half caste.

      Tuatha Dé Dumbass

      All women are whores (excepting Jane Austen & Carole Lombard)

      Kent only likes the dead ones. If he says he’s “going out for a cold one”, he’s headed toward the cemetery.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        January 25, 2015 7:58 am

        Kent would rather go out for a “stiff” one, IYKWIMAITTYD.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 24, 2015 2:42 pm

      Come to think of it neither are they as neurotic (Irish), demented (teutons) or vain (slav&russian) as white women

      Also, projecting like a goddamn IMAX, Kentloaf… projecting like a goddamn IMAX.

    • Scott permalink
      January 24, 2015 8:08 pm

      “Scott, your girlfriend sounds like a selfish dumb cunt (poetic licence).”

      That doesn’t even rhyme 😦

    • bloodymage permalink
      January 25, 2015 9:33 am

      I saw a psychologist today but my problems go way beyond psychology. I’m reading and praying but it hasn’t changed. I don’t like bitchin’ and moanin’ but I do a lot of it. My apologies. I just wish somebody would buy my stuff. It’s good but I’m not makin’ a damn dime and goin’ broke tryin’ to do it!

  19. bloodymage permalink
    January 25, 2015 9:35 am

    Just thought I’d waste a little time. I no longer have the $$$ for Texas, I’m getting rid of my dog, I’m seeing a therapist, I still can’t stand the food and the world is still moving too fast.

    Promised to no longer beatch but I’m loser, no doubt about it.

  20. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    January 25, 2015 11:10 am

    This is a Public Service Announcement (PSA)
    RPG Convention season is soon upon us. I don’t want to smell your poorly wiped butt cracks and stagnant piss clothes, so please shower and brush your teeth before you hit the convention floor. Also, remember to wear CLEAN clothes (that includes underwear) every day of the convention. And don’t forget to TALC YOUR CROTCH!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 25, 2015 3:21 pm

      I never knew that Saddam Hussein put out a grooming guide.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        January 25, 2015 7:39 pm

        I got Harry Reems from that. Like this was the stuff he did before boffing Tracy Lords and such.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN (CROTCH UNTALCED!) permalink
      January 25, 2015 8:34 pm

      TALC THAT CROTCH!!!!!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 25, 2015 11:30 pm

        Sounds like somebody’s a bigwig in the talc lobby.

        #daretostink
        #gamerfunkcontainspheremones

  21. turdburglar permalink
    January 25, 2015 12:30 pm

    Does anyone actually play Ladies of the Fatty Pants or is it strictly people buying the rules so they can read them, have a good chuckle or cry, then toss it in the trash? I prefer to steal unfamiliar games and read them in the car. If I like them I’ll have a good jerk and leave my seed and the book in the shop mailbox. If it’s no good I’ll take a shit in the book and put it back on the shelf then go out and have a good want to Venger’s green slime video. I love me a nice, pale propelled girl with small tots. Oops, went and got myself all Randy there. BRB. Wank…

    • turdburglar permalink
      January 25, 2015 12:32 pm

      I meant WANK, not want. fucking AUTOCOMPLETE fucked up my fantasy.

  22. kingofalltherotten permalink
    January 25, 2015 4:00 pm

    Hold.The.Phone.Chaps. The Pundit has been churning stuff out and letting this poor guy sell it?

    “Self-proclaimed champion against swine of the RPG world, the RPGPundit blogs regularly from Montevideo, Uruguay. Known for being controversial, he is also the man behind theRPGSite, one of the most-popular general role-playing forums. His penchant for self-promotion, arrogance, pipes, and a totally gonzo nature are legendary. In reality, theRPGPundit is a hardcore gamemaster with years of experience that wants games to be intense and fun, but not pretentious.”

    Olympic Gods, murdered gnomes, etc?

    http://www.pigames.net/store/default.php?cPath=103

  23. January 26, 2015 6:52 am

    Thanks, hoss. Keep it bilious!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 26, 2015 7:58 am

      Venge, baby, love your work… well, not your work per se, but you do put the goo in GOO, if you know what I mean and I think that you do, and that counts for something.

      Anyway, I think I speak for all of us when I ask if your Cthulhu Elder Space Magic could beat Pundejo’s Uruguayan Rune Magick in a wizards’ duel. Personally, I think Kent’s Goatse Goety would prevail against either of you- he’s the most powerful sodomancer in the history of the planet, even more powerful than Abdul Asshazard.

      • January 26, 2015 8:25 am

        . . . and can we see a demonstration? Mummified horse dongs optional.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 26, 2015 9:52 am

        Feh please. Venger vs Pundit would be like Gandalf teaming up with Saruman and Galadriel and Sauron and beating up that one banjo kid from deliverance(or Mandy). Ain’t no way some weak ass nordic runes are going to be of help against eldritch sorcery gleaned from cyclopean ruins, built by alien hands in veneration of dread Yog-Soth-Oth itself. Iä! Iä! Venger Iä! Scourge of the Demon Wolf! Iä! The Key and the Gate! Iä! Yog-soth-oth Iä Nyarlathotep Iä!

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        January 26, 2015 10:19 am

        I am unconvinced that Chthulhu priests’ non-Euclidean fluff can bring symmetry to the Uruguayan utility companies’ customer service guilds, as Pundejo’s Black Rune magic has objectively accomplished. Plus, Tardowski is richer and famouser than Venger. So I would definitely be interested in this steel cage match between the respective archmages.

        Maybe that should be our host’s March Madness bracket this year.

      • January 29, 2015 1:43 pm

        You honor me, noble lords. I do what my warlock hands can with this slick, slime-scaled, shadowy crustacean meat scooped from the cosmic wyrm-snake of one hundred and eleven eyes I call the O5R. Actually, I’ve never called it that but whatever…

      • January 29, 2015 6:30 pm

        Hey don’t you do computer stuff in real life? You think you could swing down to Irving, TX and help bloodymage uninstall Minesweeper, or whatever it is he’s trying to do? Then run a couple games with him and film it? We’d really get a kick out of that.

      • January 30, 2015 1:21 pm

        No computer stuff for this guy. I’m mostly a technology moron. Before I had a wife and kids, I probably could have traveled the world to run games for people. However, I also hate traveling. I only attend one or two conventions a year, and only if they’re in or near Wisconsin.

        I definitely think that RPGs should get coverage on ESPN, even if I’m not the one in front of the camera. However, I’m available for interviews.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 1, 2015 3:35 pm

        Shit, i want to call dibs on that interview so bad but i think we as a community need like a month to make up some questions or something since this is a once in a lifetime experience.

  24. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 26, 2015 11:24 am

    If you name yourself after a Saturday morning cartoon villain from the 80’s, I’m pretty sure the gods are too busy laughing to bestow power on you.

    But lets face it, my boy Bloodymage’s “Huh?” magic will beat them all through attrition. Like, in a billion years the sun will be hanging large and low in the sky, the surface of the planet will be dust, and Blooey will be there in the twilight glow face palming away.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 26, 2015 1:21 pm

      Kung Bloo! What is the sound of one gimp crapping?

  25. bloodymage permalink
    January 26, 2015 3:08 pm

    This is fckg useless! No game so I figured I try once more to organize this piece o’ s**t. Tried to delete Lucy, the mad fiance. Girl could sure have fun and she was picture crazy. So, I’m trying to cull my pics from backup, doing pretty well and then copies start springin’ up.

    Grrrrr, grouse, grouse, grrrrr :blueangry:

  26. bloodymage permalink
    January 26, 2015 3:10 pm

    Gygax
    What a mind! I’ve had an autographed set of LA books since I was at a GaryCon and he was gracious enough to sign them in his house. I have 412 of a 1000 printed. Figured I’d try to run something for NTRPGCon. Still hate the place but NTRPGCon has been one of my favorites.

    edited to show how special these books are

    • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
      January 26, 2015 4:22 pm

      Didn’t they start doing Garycon after he failed his saving throw vs. death magic? Did he rise as an undead? Is he a brain in a jar? Or is Blooey a time traveler? I know Gary posts here, maybe he can help unravel this mystery.

      • Gary Gygax OFFICIAL permalink
        January 26, 2015 5:01 pm

        Yeah, I signed that shit for him. I like to do acts of charity for retards and gimps. I stuck my finger up my pooper and signed it to Blooey in my own feces. I call it finger fudge painting.

        I’ve gotta head down to tonight’s cub scout meeting now before I miss out on doing frottage on the boys.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 27, 2015 9:16 am

      I think Gail et al. of the Gygax estate legacy pulled a fast one on our Blooey. Probably charged him money for the signature.

  27. PrinceofNothing permalink
    January 27, 2015 8:34 am

    I want to take advantage of this relative lull in OSR stupidity to get on my soapbox and do some counter-cultural ranting Pundit/KKK alehouse style, with a very real possibility of making myself look like Kent. But that is okay.

    Currently smoking D Drum, additive free bitches. Rune magick laid out, Life Runes surrounding a tarot deck made from the cannibalised pictures of the people that died in the Brevik shooting.

    As i grind away at my campaign setting document, soon to be unleashed upon the unsuspecting public, i have taken time to reflect upon a post by a beloved friend of YDIS and the OSR in general, the talented and noble Zak S, and his stance on women in gaming.

    While we can all agree his proposed method of getting women into gaming(let alone trannies), by making shit that appeals to them, is certainly free from the habitual SJW modus operandi of generating outrage, wild accusations, shaming and censorship, i think it is only prudent to examine the motivation, rather then the method(the method is fine though, and i certainly wont begrudge Zak making products that appeal to women if he likes that sort of thing).

    Why is it important that we get more women in gaming at all?

    Excellent question Prince, and the answer is of course, it isn’t, never been important, and will hopefully never be important, unless people are in it for the money(since there is a small demographic of female gamers to appeal to, next to the vast majority of male gamers that buy most of the supplements), or are women that want to make roleplaying games that appeal to women(see also white wolf/storygames).

    Consider for a moment the noble game of chess. While there is a small minority of women that play it, and even a handful of female chess masters, the vast majority of the players are male, and the best grandmasters are male. A good explanation for this is that the game is simply more appealing to men then it is to women, as a result of neurological and hormonal differences. Does this mean chess needs to be changed in order to appeal to them? Of course not. So too the noble roleplaying game(specifically the OSR and its fetish for sandbox play, high difficulty, context-less free roaming and overall lack of mollycoddling).

    I myself have encountered a handful of female gamers in the past, and i can safely state that the vast majority participate not neccesarily for love of the game itself(though i will tacitly admit a few women might genuinely like the game), but simply as part of social interaction. And there is nothing wrong with this.

    But i think we, as noble, handsome, virile roleplaying geniuses, need to stop deluding ourselves that our hobby is somehow unclean and deficient and that it needs to change because we are keeping women out. The increase of women in gaming is a direct result of social acceptance directed towards that hobby, not gatekeeping or anything that has been produced in the last couple of years(with the exception of maybe some story games or rpgs that focus on emotion and personal relationships as opposed to the more male appealing investigation/conflict/exploration).

    Why then, do the baying and unwashed hordes of the Unblown echo the Goebbelsian chant of ‘inclusivity?’

    1) SJWs are overrepresented upon the internet, where the noble, normal gamers cannot look upon their deformed visages and make the sign of aversion whenever they open their feminine mouths and bray their rhetoric in a lilting accent.
    2) Most of the internet Unblown are similarly diseased creatures, devoid of love or social skills, and they are under the mistaken assumption that getting more women in gaming will somehow get them laid. Of the many people i have plaid games with and GMd for over the years, i am one of two that is actually on the internet participating in this anti-community, and the other is indeed unblown.
    3) A pretty decent cultural engineering coup de tat by corporations to spread the idea of women in gaming(be it rpgs or computer games) as fashionable and accepted, hopefully netting them some money by appealing to this minority.

    So stand your ground oh normal men of gaming. You have friends, jobs, girlfriends, wives and family. You can function within normal society. Let us continue to make fun of retards, degenerates and unblown. Let us enjoy our roleplaying hobby. Let us not begrudge those that seek to appeal to women, minorities, or other arbitrary demographics by making different games.

    But don’t let anyone ever tell you its important that we somehow ‘include’ people and that it is somehow our fault gaming is not a perfect demographic checkerboard where all are represented equally.

    Thank you for your attention.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 27, 2015 9:14 am

      What pisses me off (not that doing so is all that hard) is the fact that the SJWs spouting off for greater inclusion of women/transgendered/people of color in gaming are all white cis males, never women/transgendered/people of color.

      And remember, “What about the trannies?” is the new “What about the men?”. You can’t get three replies in on a feminist message board topic without one of these SJWs asking that leading to a complete thread derail setting women’s rights issues back.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 27, 2015 9:55 am

        That’s essentially my point. Not only is the validity of the actual issue dubious in the extreme but its not even being advocated by the people that are supposedly being marginalized. Case in point, my GM is part of a minority. This has never come up in play because everyone comes around to have fun and has lives, so there are no social minefields to navigate because we are adults. Period.

        It’s every bit as imaginairy as the elf games that we play, just less fun, and its an excuse for losers to tell normal people that have fun with their games that they are being wrong so they can feel better about themselves(sly self-aware glance at YDIS, quickly averted by the fact i am running a game this weekend and played SWN two days ago, thus sort of making me a normal human by my own definition IF ZAK CAN DOES TEH LITURGICAL REVISIONISM TEHN SO CANS I).

        The tranny point is pretty well founded and should be seen not as a curse, but as another point to jeer and laugh at. Radical feminism is insane but lacks the cohesion to actually campaign coherently, which makes it awesome as they turn on themselves in a French Reign of Terror esque inquisition of who can be the most progressive and tolerant. Radical feminism in games is completely fucking stupid because they could be campaigning against female circumcision or other actual points that actually exist.

      • January 27, 2015 3:40 pm

        Um, it’s the radfems who are most mlitantly anti-tranny. Google TERF.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 27, 2015 9:18 am

      I think the hobby needs more elderly women, and our man Blooey is just the guy to lure the blue-haired assisted living set in: “Widow Jenkins, let me tell you about my spelunking pole.”

      • I don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
        January 27, 2015 10:05 am

        I’m in a minority. The reason I don’t say anything about it is because jack-asses don’t take the issue seriously. There are some pretty bigoted people in RPGs, it’s an issue, trust me…or don’t. Believe what you want.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 27, 2015 10:17 am

        I certainly believe it, the best thing written on straight white male privilege by a straight white male is John Scalzi’s “Lowest Difficulty Setting” essay.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 27, 2015 11:04 am

        @Idontwantoliveonthisplanet

        I’m sure you have bigoted people in RPGs(since you have bigoted people in everything), so i certainly believe you.

        What i am opposed to is the idea that this is somehow the result of “bigoted evil games” or “facist rpg culture” and it needs heavy handed censorship(always the best tool for facilitating a more egalitarian society) to stop this, or that previous games were ‘badwrong/problematic’ and we need a new generation of ‘inclusive’ games to ‘correct’ this issue. Those bigoted people will still be bigoted people even if you put a fucking disclaimer in the front or a picture of a black elf on page 3. A succubus in the MM is not a patriarchical tool of opression for female gamers. If it takes a picture of a racial/gender diverse adventuring team to make you less bigoted or a disclaimer that magic isnt real to prevent you from killing yourself you are a fucking impressionable retard and no one should game with you anyway.

        Not to mention the fact that ethnic and gender diversity has been a part of rpgs since around the 80s. Greyhawk is multi-ethnic. Forgotten Realms is mutli-ethnic/progressive for a medieval society. Aleena was a female cleric. We no longer have different stats for women and men, which i guess were sexist(but more importantly they added useless complexity so we are better of without them anyway).

        Making a more diverse game is not a ticket to getting better games, which is why designers shouldn’t focus on it. They should focus on making something that they really like which doesn’t suck, and hopefully others will agree, and thus we get better games. Greatness comes from inspiration, not political correctness, and games should not be fuelled by a political agenda, since they are for recreational purposes.

        If someone restricts your access to one of their games because of the colour of your skin or your gender, that is because he is a reprehensible douché, not because of evil rpg-games twisting his mind to accept stereotypes that do not exist within the rest of society. The majority of gamers are people with lives(optional) and jobs(optional) and only a subsection of their interaction will be with ‘gamers’ let alone ‘gamer culture.’

        Fostering some sort of ‘inclusivity’ policy at a gaming convention is only going to make bigots resent your presence, meaning it either:
        A) Doesn’t actually matter since there is no objection to your presence in the first place(because you game with people who are actually decent individuals)
        B) means you are going to game with people that don’t really want you anyway but are now forced to hide their abberant racist mindset.

        Bottom line: No amount of silly policies or politically correct game books are going to undo growing up in a bigoted environment and being a hardcore racist that is into gaming. No game book encourages racism(exempting a few excretable examples like Fatal or Racial holy war), and no politically correct gamebook will make racist people not racist. Why not game with friends or make fun games?

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 27, 2015 11:29 am

        Addendum: And you had the balls to bring it up here, on YDIS. And i salute you for that dude, because this site is supposed to be a place where you can say shit.

        Best,
        -Prince.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        January 27, 2015 11:52 am

        Hey, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore, no doubt there are bigots in rpg’s, both willful and ignorant. Has it been your experience that MOST gamers are bigots, unconcious or not? I would be surprised if most are, but it is hard for me to tell, so I am curious as to your experience. Are you ‘merican?

        And you are welcome here, of course (unless by “minority” you mean nazi or black magic sorcerer – I think we officially discriminate against those fuckers).

      • January 27, 2015 12:34 pm

        @prince

        Inclusivity won’t change bigots, but that’s not the point. It’s public relations; it sends a message (1) to the hobby, (2) to those who might otherwise feel disenfranchised from the hobby, and (3) society in general. Disclaimers and depictions of character diversity are not meant to end bigotry but instead to reinforce non-bigotry. The ideal result is that bigotry in the hobby is marginalized; that it is perceived as the exception rather than the norm.

        I agree that game design should not ‘focus’ on inclusivity but positive messages should not necessarily be avoided. Those messages won’t matter to bigots and they may not matter to me or you, but they can be important to someone not yet invested in the hobby.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 27, 2015 7:20 pm

        @perdustin

        And motherfucking hell is it nice to hear from you, i figured Pundit’s meltdown and the torrent of blooeymage impersonation stories had severed you from the hivemind or you had long since been replaced by rune-magic fuelled dopplegangers. Please be assured i will deliver unto you a torrent of semi-coherent tales of my woes disguised as roleplaying game material should i ever get a blog and then nuke it repeatedly.

        While your argument about inclusivity and message sending is valid and i agree with it up to a certain point, i still feel that delivering a message about inclusivity by shoehorning it into a roleplaying game universe/rules, as opposed to putting it into a mission statement at the beginning of the book or a dedication or something, completely undermines the point and feels heavy handed and quite frankly insecure. I get that some people feel a message needs to be sent(since my personal experience only counts for so much and i cannot speak for what people feel, i can just comment on what i see, and that is not a culture of intolerance and bigotry.

        As for avoiiding positive messages, eh, if it fits your game by all means kick ass and take names, im not adovocating the abolishment of personal messages, im just saying critisizing a game because it lacks a personal message dedicated to your particular group is inane. My ultimate point is that if you love a game, such a message shouldn’t change shit about that, but maybe it provides a small moment of solace and that is worth it.

        As for Von, it is late, i will endeavour to demolish your argument with the finesse and intolerant xenophobic hatred that is becoming of the dutch race at a more appropriate hour.

    • January 27, 2015 3:52 pm

      “I myself have encountered a handful of female gamers in the past, and i can safely state that the vast majority participate not neccesarily for love of the game itself (though i will tacitly admit a few women might genuinely like the game), but simply as part of social interaction.”

      Delete ‘female’ and I think you’re on to something.

      I’m going to take a shot in the dark here and say that the way to get more women into your games is to invite women to play games with you and not be weird about it when they say yes.

      There was something Zak posted ages and ages ago about how Stoya was apparently told to clear off when expressing an interest in D&D as a teenager. Leaving aside the question “what kind of allegedly heterosexual male would shoo away a teenaged Stoya from their table (surely the first to suggest doing such a thing is the one who’s physically booted off his chair to make room for her)?”, it’s easy to imagine the kind that might put her off coming back… and that kind of heavy-breathing cleavage-drooling time-waster is doing more to keep women off the gaming tables than any aspect of the games themselves.

      (Hon. exception to LotFP vaginamancy art, Carcosa rape spells, F.A.T.A.L., etc. – but then, at least two of those should put any right-thinking human being off their chips, and F.A.T.A.L. seems unplayably bad as an RPG, never mind its revolting preoccupations.)

      The notion that there’s something about roleplaying games (esp. the OSR/D&D variety) that’s innately unappealing to women smells a bit like gender essentialism, but I think any objection is on principle rather than in practice. The female gamers I’ve known are universally less into mechanical complexity for its own sake or for the sake of verisimilitude, less likely to be dumb in the way that D&D requires them to be dumb (i.e. accepting the rag-tag group of overmatched heroes structure of play) – but then, the female gamers I’ve known are also frequently the most old-school in terms of intelligently navigating their environment, asking the right questions, being interested in arbitrary puzzle crap, being house-rule positive, making things happen without resorting to “I roll Bluff and get 17” and using all the random crap on their character sheets.

      (Let’s be charitable here and assume that old-school is a style of play, rather than a particular product line or a facile adherence to the every word and deed of St. Gary and an Old Geezerish insistence that every WORD of the 1e books is sacrosanct and part of an untouchable whole.)

      I’ve had more groups with women in them than groups without and it’s always seemed to work better that way. Disability-friendly comes with the territory (I have a grab-bag of physical and mental limitations/eccentricities to work around, so… I’d hardly run a game that wasn’t welcoming to myself). I probably lose SJW points for not having that many non-white friends, but I like to think that’s circumstantial (and for what it’s worth, one of my stalwart Vampire players back home came from down Mexico way).

      The point of all this – functioning as adult human beings does more to make the hobby inclusive and welcoming than any amount of Blue Rose supplements. Likewise, chasing away the creepers who think F.A.T.A.L. is acceptable or that Novarium isn’t fundamentally weird about women – that’s only going to be good for everyone in the long term.

      • January 27, 2015 6:52 pm

        I’m blind to gender. I think of everyone as having a large black penis and pendulous shaven balls.

      • January 27, 2015 8:29 pm

        Postfeminist ideology suggests that’s your problem, not mine.

      • January 27, 2015 9:19 pm

        In the spirit of true inclusivity, I demand that my problem be everyone’s problem.

      • January 27, 2015 9:25 pm

        What this “problem” you guys are talking about?

      • I don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
        January 27, 2015 10:14 pm

        @prince: Caveat, you’re talking past me dude. You’re bringing up a lot of stuff I don’t really have an opinion on. My response is based on my experiences, I’m not an ideologue so let’s drop the anti-PC line.

        So, it’s a difficult problem. I’m uneasy about censorship but how can someone in my position advocate that no action be taken? Racism sucks and it has proven difficult to deal with. All I can say is that doing nothing is not an option. I don’t feel like I have a choice of opinion here. I can’t accept that bigotry is something I have to put up with.

        Your convention is very different from my experience. It usually goes: A.) No one objects but when “your background” comes to light you better be pleasant about all the jokes, ignorance, and stereotypes otherwise your “over-sensitive”, you “can’t take a joke”, or your told “this is why no one takes you guys seriously”. B.) People with racist politics hardly ever expose themselves publicly, so this is neither here nor there.

        I don’t really care if anyone agrees with me at a Con but I certainly won’t be going back. It’s my leisure time, why should I put with that behaviour? I think that’s the point. If you want minorities to come and participate then some ground-rules about what is acceptable needs to be explicitly outlined. If you don’t want those minorities then I cede to your point. I don’t want to be anywhere I’m not wanted and yes having to put with this kind of stuff does send that message.

        I disagree that no game book encourages racism. Buying into a stereotype and then refusing to abandon it when it makes someone uncomfortable is not a decent way to act. Getting defensive about a stereotype, you think is cool, is also a dumb way to act. These things happen(ed) regularly. Mostly when I was younger and playing and meeting with more strangers. I actually gave up gaming for five or six years because I couldn’t find people who would take me seriously when I said “Hey, can we not have this stereotype in the game” or “That word is pretty offensive, I know it’s a period piece and all but can we meet halfway here?”. I’ve never called anyone racist or accused anyone of gatekeeping etc because I’ve always been aware that people and ideas are way more reasonable than their online interpretations. Unfortunately, my civility has not served me well in these situations. I’m not sure inclusive books won’t encourage that same shitty behaviour but I do know that books in the past have.

        Why not game with friends? I do game with friends, I don’t talk or play with anyone outside my friends circle (who are all minorities) and how we’ve been treated at cons and meeting other gamers from the internet is a big part of the reason why we are so insular these days.

        Bottom line for me is this, I have as little to do with rpgs as I possibly can while still playing the games I like. I use the internet to find cool content and new games. My desire for as little contact as possible is because of racism and the shit we talk about here with the unblown. Will inclusive policies help foster a wider community willing to participate, I don’t know but I do know that the hobby of the past has made me an insular and unwilling participant.

        As I said, it’s a problem but I don’t expect nerds to take it seriously either. You seem more concerned with the PC brigade then the issue of racism, for example.

        @Master Blaster Belial: I guess that depends on where you draw the line. Most gamers aren’t KKK members but most gamers I’ve meet face-to-face with do hold onto stereotypes and offensive caricatures from their childhoods. Online gamers are much more of a mixed-bag. I don’t think most gamers intend on being malicious (at first anyway) if that’s what you mean. I’m not American but I lived in South Carolina with family for a bit.

        Whatever else could be said of YDIS, you guys are even-handed in your mocking. That’s why I come here.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 28, 2015 1:36 am

        @Von:

        [Female gamer point]

        If your players are as content with playing canasta as they are with D&D why go for such a time consuming hobby? You want the investment and it is like a dragon you chase.

        [More women in gaming point]

        Pretty much, but like getting more of a certain ethnicity, why would you want to? Why strive to increase the population of hobby practitioners based on a criterion that doesn’t have much to do with how they practice that hobby(noted exception is gender). Shouldn’t you want people for what they think and do, rather then gender or ethnicity? And maybe after that we can make some sort of drum circle?

        [Stoya point]

        If its true she was excluded based on her gender then yeah. Also fuck you Carcosa is cool.

        [More female gamer point]

        Now darn gosh Von, i put all that nuance in my post and you put all that nuance in your post and now we have a sort of agreement going on which is kind of gay. At least we can agree on differences in personal preference. I’m discussing what i believe to be a statistical trend but i will fully admit my sample size is wholly inadequate to come to any sort of absolute conclusion. Therefore i will resort to calling you a massive homo and claiming you made that whole gamer gurl thing up.

        [Gaming point]

        I have never run a game with female players and have observed most of their interaction only intermittently whilst furiously masturbating under the table, driven mad by the lovely lovely estroegen but no one can call me on it because i inevitably bring up that i game with a minority and even allow a different minority to upset the natural order by lording over the white man as a GM. That he is a kickass GM is, naturally, irrelevant. I’ve never seen why gender diversity makes a game flow more smoothly(different play styles?) but we come from diametrically opposite positions so i will resort to calling you a liar and a
        fraud and make up some sort of accusation about racism.

        [Final Point]

        Grudging unilateral agreement you big homo.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 28, 2015 2:10 am

        @dontwantolive

        Bigotry is not morally justifiable but if you live in a pretty racist country you often have no choice but to put up with it. Doesn’t excuse it, and doesn’t mean you can’t speak out against it though.

        [Con]

        That’s…sad. I mean in the sense that you’ve had con’s and meetups where shit like that is needed for you to feel comfortable. Never had anything remotely like that in Holland, went to a meetup and shit seemed pretty diverse(even had a tranny!). I think there is a difference between a joke and ignorant racism though, and i don’t think guidelines for appropriate social interactions between humans would be an appropriate solution for what is a very complex problem.

        [gaming racist books]

        I dunno man, i guess in some very subtle, sneaky, insidious way it could sort of promote stereotypes by giving the die-hard racist a sort of official sanctioning but i maintain that the effect, if it exists at all, is very fucking minor. As for stereotypes and offending people, i generally try to meet people a little half way but ive never actually offended anyone with my games so its a problem that doesn’t exist for me, personally. If something is genuinely offensive to you then you should speak up after a game but do not always expect understanding or sympathy.

        [gaming with friends/community]

        Its good to know you still game with friends and im sorry to hear online communities have not been more forthcoming(though i was under the impression a lot of forums had pretty tough ules against racism, its almost as if rigid moderation doesnt actually change how people think).

        I take the PC-brigade seriously because i feel it damages gaming and its a fucking scourge on the gaming community. Mocking it is fun. Racism isnt a problem in gaming, its a problem in society as a whole(gaming is arguably a subset), and that’s way too massive to tackle in a place where we laugh at rune-magick using plagiarists or SJW-autists.

        As for problem, exclusion and bigotry are one thing, a stereotype that is sort of offensive is another. There is a lot of grey area, and everyone has different standards, so whether or not they take your complaints seriously is dependant upon their sense of proportion.

        Best,
        Prince.

      • January 28, 2015 2:22 am

        @ I don’t want to live…

        I don’t feel like I’m really qualified to address the topic of racism in gaming to any real extent, although I have had to quietly let a few people fall out of Ye Olde Wargaymes Club because they’ve insisted on explicitly bringing their (unpleasant) race politics to the table. The KKK Redemption was never acceptable, for instance. The less overt stuff… my groups and I are probably too white to notice.

        One thing, though: “I’m not sure inclusive books won’t encourage that same shitty behaviour but I do know that books in the past have.” – OK, that’s totally fair, and I can see it as an argument for watching what we put in our RPGs and if ‘inclusivity’ is the banner under which we do that then that’s cool. As long as we’re not like Greg Christopher and reparsing our sexism in that nice-guy, “I adore strong women”, “phwoar lesbians are so liberated”, or doing something to that effect in other spheres, ’cause that… seems like a masquerade behind which the same-old same-old ticks along.

      • January 28, 2015 2:39 am

        [Female gamer point]
        Good question. I think it’s probably because I roll with the kind of people who recognise that putting time into something is its own reward. The hardcore boardgamer gurrl in my house won’t touch RPGs with a barge pole because of the set-up time, which I think endorses the point you’re making, but – based on my experiences only, of course – I think that’s the exception.
        Canasta/Settlers of Catan/the Amazon Prime subscription are for whipping out when we can’t be assed with anything more demanding/fulfilling, put it that way. A place for everything, and everything up your arse.

        [More women in gaming]
        You’re dead right. What I want is more intelligent and entertaining players. That generally means going outside the crowd of tedious white boys who quote Family Guy and like four hundred page rulebooks that excuse them from making anything up. I invite people for a diversity of approaches, which often means a diversity of interests and origins and identities. Increasing diversity is a happy accident rather than the stated goal.

        [Teenaged Stoya and Carcosa]
        … actually, that’s probably a combination better left to the realms of mildly shameful imagination. (Again, for the hard of thinking: THINKING skeevy thoughts is probably unavoidable but keeping skeevy thoughts to yourself is a big part of how tolerance works.)
        Carcosa manages to be equal parts cool and skeevy with a side order of shit dice mechanics. Happy with that?

        [More female gamer point]
        I feel we’re letting the side down somewhat so I’m going to call you a giant cockjockey, baffled by legal drugs and prostitution, and as much a nutter as every citizen of your gutless flat nation.
        With that out of the way: I assure you, I’m not making them up, but like yourself I’m going off the data I have immediately to hand. I would be willing to accept that my experiences with lady gamers are a statistical anomaly. Ain’t I lucky?

        [Gaming point]
        Your ethnic-minority DM is #notyourshield. I’m glad he’s good though.
        Different play-styles and different expectations are what it comes down to. The ladies tend not to be saturated in D&D/gamer culture and so they surprise me with ideas/plans/goals/desired outcomes on a more frequent basis than the dudes. It seems to work.
        Oh, and I could fuck a pig on the Internet if that’d make your enforced stance of conflict any easier…

        [Finale]
        Get off me you joey.

      • I don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
        January 28, 2015 2:48 am

        That’s what I am saying. I don’t have that choice, putting up with it is not an option in my position.

        con: I agree, it is sad but that’s where we are at. Jokes are subjective but in my opinion racist jokes are still racism.

        books: Well, I’ve experience otherwise. It doesn’t have to promote die-hard racism for it to promote racism. Racial stereotypes are a form of racism. I don’t expect anything, I’m just relaying my experience. What you take away from it is another matter, bringing this stuff up won’t change anything for me. I have no faith that people in gaming want to make it better for PoC.

        As I said, this is how racism has made me actively shun the wider hobby. Stereotypes aren’t “sort of” offensive. I understand your point but you either want the hobby to be accepting to minorities or you don’t. You can’t say you do and then disagree with the problems and solutions brought up by the people who experience the racism.

        As for Holland. Well, our cultures have had a storied history. I don’t think I’d be welcomed too warmly there and I don’t think we could agree on anything, to be honest. I’ll leave that hint there and say that this is as far as I’m willing to go on the subject. I’ve no problem relating what I think has been pretty bad behaviour in gaming but I refuse to go into debates about what I should or shouldn’t find offensive and whether or not people have the right to be offensive or whether I should just deal with it.

      • January 28, 2015 2:59 am

        Von: I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is. As you might be able to tell, I’ve tried to be a clear and concise as possible on a subject that is not either, I’m not too sold on the “inclusivity” banner. My main point is that, A.) Inclusivity can’t hurt and it certainly doesn’t effect anyone negatively. If that means a few people want to cry about political correctness then that is a fairly low and arbitrary cost because those complaining about PC because an elf or two are brown or Asian is suspect. B.) People just need to stop holding onto these things and start talking to each other seriously. I don’t expect to have everything my way at a gaming table but I don’t want to have to sit through a game that is full of cringeworthy and emotionally painful moments because of some nerds warped view of the world. I’m bemoaning the fact that most gamers I’ve met are not prepared to be adults and reach a compromise on their shitty racist behaviour.

      • January 28, 2015 3:24 am

        All of which is an entirely fair cop, and I regret that you’ve encountered shittiness to the extent that you have, though I’m not surprised at all. Regrettably, low-level background tripe seems all too common in gamerkultur, which is why I don’t generally invite gamerkultur to my table – and it’s probably a lot easier for me to avoid than it is for you.

        That’s about the only contribution I have to make, so… being a good ally and shutting the fuck up now. ‘s not about me, is it?

      • January 28, 2015 3:27 am

        Oh fuck, one more thing – Greg Christopher is the white-knight twonk who wrote Novarium and got into stupid fights with Zak and others about gender and gaming a while back. I don’t know what he’s been up to recently but Novarium is still my touchstone for doing social justice wrong.

      • January 29, 2015 12:18 pm

        Greg never stops being awesome: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+GregChristopher/posts

      • January 28, 2015 3:45 am

        Haha. I’ll have to look him up, sounds like a dick and no, you don’t have to shut up. Speak your mind man. We don’t get anywhere shutting people down. I’m happy for all ya’ll to have at me or what I’ve said. I wouldn’t have offered it otherwise.

      • January 28, 2015 4:48 am

        Dinna fash yerself. I don’t feel shut down, more that I’ve said my piece and I don’t have anything else of relevance to contribute right now. If I feel you’ve said something disagreeable I’ll mount up and tilt at your windmill, but right now I leave ‘race in gaming’ to people who have an actual stake in the argument.

      • January 28, 2015 6:29 am

        Aaand you’ve lost me.

      • January 28, 2015 8:23 am

        Yeah, I realise that comment is… infested with idioms. Basically, don’t worry – if I want to argue with you I will, but right now I don’t.

      • January 28, 2015 7:05 am

        Greyhawk has got to be racist because:

        1. Noble savage Flan
        2. All black elves = evil since when? Always!
        3. Jungle tribes actually lost blond race
        4. Baklunish hang out on their own side, other Asians absent
        5. Joey Bloch is really into it, QED

        If I had time to update my blog I’d do a blended Greyhawk jumping off the weirdly elaborate “ethnic mixing” rules in the box where Gary rhapsodizes over how coppery, bronze or golden-copper-bronze skin is possibly the best color you can be. In my setting Zagyg was a black guy, his free city is the Harlem Renaissance, the Great Kingdom is the pig-ignorant Deep South and so on.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 28, 2015 12:53 pm

        @Dunwannalive

        (At the risk of a White Privelege sticker on my report card)

        [Books]
        We agree to disagree then, which is fine. While your lack of faith in ye average gamer might certainly be appropriate Re: getting people of colour into the hobby, i fail to see why this could expected to be an objective for the average gamer. Mind you, i get you don’t want racism and bigotry in anything, including gaming, i don’t want it either, so eliminating that would be a noble endeavour for everyone, but as a goal for a largely homogenous convention population interested in playing elf games that involves draconian regulations for social interaction tailored to a specific minorities? C’mon dude.

        Way i see it, the only way you are going to get accepted is by trying to fit in, and perhaps that would involve overlooking some crass jokes at first(fuck die hard racists though). And that involves overcoming prejudice. And that sucks and could be seen as unfair. But that’s the way it works, and if you want it bad enough you will have to work for it, or choose not to participate. And some people might try to help you with that, because of your ethnicity, but i think what truly matters is the people that help you with it and support you, because you are you. Because you as individual are of personal importance to them.

        I am not putting this up as debate, i am not telling you you cannot feel offended or whatever, this is simply how i see it, and you are free to take it or dismiss it at your leisure.

        I also dismiss out of hand also your binary notion of accepting that something might be wrong and therefore unilaterally agreeing with whatever the injured party comes up with to correct the mistake/explain the problem. That’s absolutionist SJW thinking and it shuts down all discussion immediately.

        As for Holland, depends on your location(some villages down south might be pretty racist), but Amsterdam is extremely laid back about stuff like that. I don’t agree with your thesis btw, i think we could grab a beer(or a coffee) and learn shit from eachother like civilised human beings and talk about elf games.

        Best,
        Prince.

      • January 28, 2015 2:02 pm

        @ Schiz – if that’s your blog in your username link then I think I remember it from before I got sick to death of Dreamwidth. Is anyone still riding Livejournal’s idiot child these days?

        @ Prince – “Way i see it, the only way you are going to get accepted is by trying to fit in, and perhaps that would involve overlooking some crass jokes at first(fuck die hard racists though).”

        While I think that’s true I imagine it’s a good deal more tricky if you’re the object of the japes rather than a person whose taste and discretion outweigh their privilege. Y’ask “why do we need more Others in gaming” – I ask “why do the Others in gaming have to suck it up?”

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 28, 2015 3:40 pm

        @Von:

        I never said it was somehow fair, just or even desirable that this would probably be the course of action that was neccesairy for harmonious participation. I just said it was the one that was going to get the job done.

        As for privelege/taste/discretion, people have made jokes about aspects of me i couldn’t really help in antideluvian times when i was not yet a sexy flawless dungeon mastering god the likes the world had never seen before and likely never will again. [This is not comparable to the effect of racism, but it is vaguely similar and used to convey a point, so i am hoping you will let it slide because of my super awesome #totallymyshieldimperialistswine.]
        Shit like that happens, and while pointing out that in the grand cosmic scheme of things this is not entirely fair or even grossly unjust, the universe, and by extension people, aren’t neccesarily obliged to give a shit.

        They should, mind you, according to some nebulous concept of fairness or personal concept of ethics. But they won’t. So you have to deal with that shit yourself or simply find better friends(if you have a choice). Maybe, maaaybe after extensive campaigning, enough convincing and social support, or some cataclysmic event like DnD 4th edition(white privelege AND GAMER SWINE BITCHES!) people will change their attitudes. Expecting people to spontaneously make some sort of distruptive social adjustment(for them, for normal, decent, nonracist human beings it would be par for the course, but lets perceive the situation from the racist end) for what amounts to 1 or 3 people is unrealistic.

        Im not saying it doesn’t suck, i’m not saying you shouldn’t try to do anything about it, i’m still saying make art or fun games not political points, make those points seperately.

        “Why do we need more Others in gaming?” Because your assertion that diversity in genetics or gender will generate greater intellectual diversity is unproven. “They look different then us, therefore they must think different.” I think, especially with the advent of the internet and the vast diversification of popular entertainment, two same gendered people from the same city from the same socioeconomic background can generate as much difference in rpg materials or play style between them as any two random sub-groups. I might lend slightly more credence for the notion that women could generate a different sort of intellectual material or have a vastly different playstyle, because of differences in neurobiology and hormones that fuel different interests and a genuinely different perspective in the form of context. I find it doubtful but maybe.

        “Why do the Others have to suck it up?” Because life is not always fair, and you can’t always win.

      • January 28, 2015 5:01 pm

        I find it hard to disagree with anything you’ve said to the point where I think it’s worthwhile disagreeing, and it’s late/I’m tired, but let’s take a preliminary shot at this:

        I think you’re overestimating the effect of the Internet, particularly given that that part of the Internet we dub ‘gamer culture’ is so prone to repeated memes, inherited wisdom and self-referential cycles. People may generate difference in play, but will -gamers-?

        To be fair here – my sample data in ref. women in play is probably contaminated, given the number of new players, or refugees from other, shittier GMs who are effectively new to things done Properly. It might well be that the newbies haven’t been taught to be boring in the same way as the veterans. Gender is certainly not the only variable here, but you’re not going to get good social science for free.

        The thing is, I don’t think any differences in playstyle (hypothetical or otherwise) can be entirely put down to neurobiology and hormones, either. Acculturation is a thing, whether it can be assessed quantitatively or not. Cultures educate and expect different things of women, and for good or ill those things lend themselves to a different kind of approach to…well, most things, or at least many, but definitely elfgames. I’d be happy to expand on that argument but it’d take some finding-things-I-read that I simply can’t be arsed with doing at one a/m. Maybe I’ll slap something up on the blog at the weekend/next week.

        I suppose what I’m getting at is that gamerkultur strikes me as very inbred, Internet or no Internet, and introducing some variety of ideas/expectations/assumptions/approaches is of benefit if the Intellectual Love Gods who are regularly running the games (and the faithful sidekicks who continually show up to play) are going to maintain their interest. Diversity of ideas is what keeps things interesting. There isn’t going to be a 100% overlap on the Venn diagram of ‘diversity of ideas’ vs ‘diversity of backgrounds among players’, but I figure if you’re going out of your way to recruit outside the usual cultural pool for elfgames you might as well recruit outside the usual gender/racial/class-and-education pool as well. It might help, it feels like it should help, and what exactly is there to lose?

        (Other than a couple of your friends when proximity to the Other indicates that they can’t behave like proper gentle creatures around women/furriners/people without degrees, I suppose.)

      • January 28, 2015 9:14 pm

        @Prince: Of course it’s absolutism. Perhaps I’ve gone too far with the general language. I’m not proposing that all problems and solutions should be mine but in the case of me talking to you, yes it is very much absolute. I can’t not be absolutist about lived experience.

        I don’t think it’s shutting down discussion. I think it’s about respecting the experience of the injured party. As a pacifist I don’t sit there and throw blood at returning soldiers. The fair thing is to talk and listen to their experience and try to accommodate their PTSD into my view on soldiers/war in general. I can still disagree with their reasons for going to war or for liking war but I can’t exactly tell them that I understand the situation better and have better solutions. I’ve never been to war. The right to value judgements is theirs and theirs alone. It doesn’t mean I can’t express my views and try to reach common ground…at least that’s my opinion.

        Anyway, I agree on most points but I have no desire to “fit in” with a bunch of white gamer-nerds (look at this blog for reasons unrelated to race). Also, “fitting in” by suppressing your dignity is not an option or a choice, seriously man.

        It appears that you are implying that minorities have a choice. They don’t, that’s the whole problem. It’s either “fit in” or don’t. Some people will and some people won’t but let’s be frank, there is no option here. It’s like saying people choose to be poor. Sure, they have a choice in who they work for and how much but if you’re born into poverty then you don’t have much choice about being poor. The exceptions prove the rule.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 29, 2015 6:38 am

        @Von

        I feel we might be turning into the forge at this rate with all of our theory-fagging. Coincidence or Rune-magick? You decide.

        [Gamer culture]

        You assume anyone who regularly plays rpgs(e.g a gamer) is a part of gamer culture and participates in the same online arena. This is, from my experience, not true. Even if they were all plugged in to gaming culture, you would still have a normalized distribution of dominant memes and preferred facets of the culture, and because of the vast amount of material that is part of gamer culture and the impossibility of assimilating even a small subset, a great deal of differentiation is possible even for two people part of said gaming culture.
        An exception is of course, if your players are all from the same social group(e.g friend things), in which case a number of their interests are going to cross-contaminate and you will see more homogenity. This will happen regardless of culture, race or gender.

        As for veterans, i agree completely. If you play with a single GM or with the same group of players for a comparatively long amount of time everyone will get acclimatized to a certain playstyle by both players and GMs, that accounts for habits during a game(player and GM) way better then any of the other stuff we discussed.

        [women/explanation]

        Culture is certainly a factor, so let’s assume both mechanisms drive the differences, with undetermined effect sizes until we get a cage, an electric prod, a diverse group of cheerleaders, a hose and a copy of the Rules Encyclopedia.

        [diversity/gamerkultur]

        Cross compare Jamal, Zak, Kent, Raggs, Jack and Alexis on views in gaming and tell me that isn’t diverse.

        Recruiting outside of an irrelevant pool to recruit outside of a relevant pool doesn’t lose you anything, but it doesn’t really gain you anything either, and it seems inefficient. Just find interesting people and look at what they think, not how they look is what i would recommend.

        Best,
        Prince.

      • January 29, 2015 10:19 pm

        I’m taking this to its own thread – there’s intersectionality here, of course, but I don’t want the actual conversations to get tangled up any more than they already have been.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 29, 2015 7:01 am

        @I don’t want to live on this planet

        [absolutism]

        Concession accepted.

        [Shutting down discussion]

        I agree their experience should be considered very highly, since they are the ones undergoing clearly visible and verifiable mental and even physical stress as the result of their experience. This does not, and never will mean you should unilaterally dismiss all other social factors and concerns when trying to determine a solution to the problem. Being an injured party means your voice should be given prominence, but that does not absolve it from critical analysis or other considerations. Otherwise, pretty much agree.

        [Fitting in]

        Why do you assume all white gamer nerds are like that? I can see you not wanting to fit in with the assholes you hung out with, but race is not a factor in that so much as culture and upbringing.

        Fitting in/winning someone over by supressing your dignity is or willing to take blows to your self-confidence, no matter how slight, is a part or at least a risk in every social interaction. Would you be friends with someone if he makes a mild joke at your expense? Do you ever do so yourself? Mockery is a healthy part of social interaction because by questioning eachother’s assumptions and self-image you encourage growth and the development of new social strategies.
        Of course you should be able to set parameters on what you do and do not consider offensive or going too far, but you have to set those parameters somewhere, otherwise you will end up with either a fawning horde of worshippers or, much more likely, no friends.

        [Implying minorities have a choice]

        If you are referring to this segment:

        “So you have to deal with that shit yourself or simply find better friends(if you have a choice).” [From Von’s reply]

        Again, in some cases people might have different options(e.g same minority gaming group/non-bigot gaming group) to fall back on and in other cases they won’t. I am implying you might/could have a choice, which is as true for minorities as it is for any sort of DnD players who can only play with assholes.

        If you are saying that prejudice cannot ever be overcome in any situation by anything you do you are wrong. You can change someone’s opinion of you. This won’t be possible or probable in all cases depending on the severity of the bigotry, and i’m not saying that the fact you have to struggle so that happens is fair, i am saying it is a fact.

        If you are referring to any other segment i’d be happy to discuss it but please quote the segment. Wasn’t the whole crux of my argument that you in fact, do not have a choice in how bigoted other people are in this case[e.g a convention], therefore your options are A) Suck it up and try to adapt or B) Don’t participate?

        Best,
        Prince.

      • January 29, 2015 8:16 am

        It’s not really an assumption. It’s an informed opinion after various cons and failed group meets, not to mention the three years I worked in my city’s only gaming store. However, let’s not get silly. That was me being facetious.

        I typed out a paragraph before realising that what I mean when I say White might be alien to you. I’m using it to denote culture and upbringing but specifically the mishmash of Anglo-SuffixHere culture found in ex-English colonies. White is colloquially used in this way in the three countries I’ve lived most.

        Mockery is healthy in certain contexts. If we are strangers or acquaintances then I’m not sold on your intentions, I don’t know about your beliefs, and I’m certainly not socially equal to you. A racist joke is not healthy or productive to a budding friendship. I have white friends who mock my culture but I know their intentions, beliefs etc. so it’s quite a different context. I agree with you about mockery but I believe you are not recognising that this kind of mockery, based on race or gender or disability, does not work the way it does in socio-politically benign subjects.

        “therefore your options are A) Suck it up and try to adapt or B) Don’t participate?”

        My point is that this is not an option. There is no choice here, both paths lead to suffering. Minorities are completely powerless. They have no choice about people being racist and then given that encounter they then have no choice but to suffer from said racism. That’s why I think it’s a problem. It’s why I disagree with your premiss that nothing can be done and we shouldn’t try.

      • January 29, 2015 8:25 am

        I should also point out that “sucking it up” or “fitting in” or “taking a joke” leads to suffering because minorities internalise said stereotypes. It might be a joke to someone who is apart of the dominate culture but that joke can and does lead to self-destructive behaviour in the minority over a long period of time. Take eye-lid surgery or skin bleaching in Asia as prime examples of internalised stereotyping. (The stereotype being dark people are worth-less because dark means field-work and field-work means peasantry. This has also become more complex with the influx of Anglo standards of beauty via American television).

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 29, 2015 9:10 am

        [colonies]

        Still find the assumption of homogenity in an entire culture composed of millions of people extremely questionable but i cannot argue with personal experience and/or opinion. Would be a little strange if i made the same assumption after playing with an all asian group though.

        [Mockery]

        Agree and previously mentioned that the context is supremely important and that with strangers its orders of magnitude more uncomfortable. As for not recognizing benign mockery from harmful mockery, i think i did that just fine. Context matters, in all cases, and power dynamics fall within that context, be they based race, appearance, gender or whatever. Just different points on the same scale dude.
        I also assume you rescind your last point about racist jokes still being racism(without a qualifier) and thus agree with my point that context is extremely important in such cases. I agree with you that it would feel extremely uncomfortable taking akward racist remarks vaguely concealed as jokes from people you have never met.

        [Options]

        You incorrectly state that my premise is that we shouldn’t try and nothing can be done.
        I stated that in that particular case, those were your two options, like so.
        1) You go to a con. Racist bastards. What do you do?

        A) Leave con.
        B) Don’t leave con. Try to power through and change someone’s opinion.

        Both of those cases suck. Undoubtedly. In the sense of you taking shit for it, neither option is free of heartship. But in that moment, those are your options, and you can’t do anything about that at that point in time. With time, enough support, and enough people speaking up and acting like RATIONAL ADULTS, that hopefully changes.

        I rejected the premise that our hobby is diseased by nature simply for not overtly reaching out to minorities, because i think you should reach out to individuals, not demographics. This does not mean we should condone gatekeeping, but gatekeeping is the result of socio-economic and cultural factors, not Aleena the cleric or white wolf gypsies. Stating that a product, the labor of love of a designer, is problematic simply because it does not make an overt effort to reach out to whatever kind of social/cultural/gender/religion group is silly.

        I absolutely said we should try to act like adults and be open to anyone, i just protested draconian social legislation as a means of achieving that end, and critisized those who think that rpg books are somehow going to undo a lifetime worth of cultural and social context.

        A fucking sign at a con that says, hey guys, let’s make sure everyone has a good time and let’s all be cool to eachother would achieve a million times more then either option. Putting up rules against racism has been psychologically shown to have adverse effects, whereas a simple polite request has been shown to be effective.

        As for your assertion that jokes lead to suffering i posit the following:
        1) I agree that you are powerless against it, but how is that any different from people making fun of other people because they are ugly? Context and power-dynamics determine the effects of a joke like that, not just the fact its racist.
        2) Those internalized stereotypes can be absolutely devastating, but i think pinning that on jokes alone or even as a significant factor is pretty extreme. Mass media and cultural standards as a whole have a far more devastating effect then simply a joke. It’s when we forget that a joke is a joke or try to conceal our genuine racism via a joke that we start inflicting that damage.

        But does that mean we should avoid those jokes altogether, because of a correlation? Lots of innocuous behaviours can be correlated with more devastating behaviour. High extraversion is correlated with more risk taking and risk-taking is correlated with drug use. High extraversion is also correlated with social skills. Should we lock up people with social skills?

        One more thing. You are not powerless to change someone’s mind. It is easy for me to say that, i know. But i also know you can change someone’s mind about stereotypes. I certainly fucking did because of a co-worker. Don’t give up hope dude.

        Best,
        Prince.

      • January 29, 2015 10:03 am

        [colonies]
        That’s fine. It happened, believe it or not.
        [Mockery]
        I don’t know how racist jokes can’t be racism. It’s either racist or not. How seriously a person takes said racist joke is what I’m referring to here. I don’t take my friends seriously when they make racist jokes but the jokes are still racist. I’m going to take a stranger, in all probability, seriously though.
        [Options]
        My response has nothing to do with options. I’m referring to claims like “…Not only is the validity of the actual issue dubious in the extreme…” “…It’s every bit as imaginairy as the elf games that we play, just less fun,…” “…Fostering some sort of ‘inclusivity’ policy at a gaming convention is only going to make bigots resent your presence…” etc. I mean, I might be reading you wrong but it certainly reads that there is a denial of a problem and need for solution in your posts.

        You call it reaching out, I call it not being racist. I can’t agree with you that keeping racist stereotypes out of gaming books is silly and pandering. I think those stereotypes are lazy, bad writing, and damaging. I think those stereotypes reinforce bad behaviour. I think your defence of said stereotypes in gaming is misguided and it’s books like these that make me glad I no longer go to conventions or meet strangers for gaming because someone is gong to defend it, no matter how many shitty things they need to say or do in order to do so.

        1) The history of colonialism, hate crimes, employment discrimination, social exclusion etc all examples of why racist jokes are different from ugly jokes. Not just the context in which the joke is said but the whole context of racism and racist humoura place in that context.

        2) Funny, I remember every racist joke and comment from my school days and how that effects me today. I know the impact of racist jokes and the media and cultural standards. I find it hard to care what you find extreme and what you don’t.

        “But does that mean we should avoid those jokes altogether, because of a correlation? Lots of innocuous behaviours can be correlated with more devastating behaviour. High extraversion is correlated with more risk taking and risk-taking is correlated with drug use. High extraversion is also correlated with social skills. Should we lock up people with social skills?”

        That’s all well and condescending but I think the mental and social impact of racism speak for themselves. I think I’ve proven that I’m not advocating for eradicating jokes altogether and so I’m not even going to entertain this line, if that’s okay with you.

        “One more thing. You are not powerless to change someone’s mind. It is easy for me to say that, i know. But i also know you can change someone’s mind about stereotypes. I certainly fucking did because of a co-worker. Don’t give up hope dude.”

        My grandmother lived under a government who consider her flora and fauna. I’m second generation human-being in my own nations legal system. Let’s not talk about how much power I have or don’t have currently.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 29, 2015 10:44 am

        As a white man, I have to note that the problem of discussing white male privilege with white guys is that white guys tend to think of themselves as “default standard humans”. The privilege is invisible to its beneficiaries.

        Lacking the emotional baggage of systematized domination, it’s easy for a cis-het-white male to dismiss the legacy of sexism and racism. “Why can’t **insert minority group** just get over it?” Four centuries of enslavement and second-class status is pretty hard to “just get over”, especially since discrimination still takes place.

        On Sunday, I had a run-in with a police officer while I was battening down the hatches at work before a blizzard projected to be the Worst Snowstorm Since the Pleistocene hit. Cop rolled up on me on the site perimeter, cop and I had a nice conversation about storm prep and the prospect for overtime. If I had been a person of color, the encounter might have gone horribly awry. This isn’t the sort of thing most white guys even stop to consider… meanwhile, the killings of black men by police continues here in the ‘States, and the mainstream response is “get over it”. I’ve never had to look over my shoulder in my life, most white guys haven’t.

        As far as “jokes” go, a lot of bigots try to pass their bigotry off as a joke when they are called out on it. It’s an unconvincing bullshit excuse, the last refuge of the sexist or racist. Can’t “those people” take a joke?

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 29, 2015 11:17 am

        For future reference:
        “Let us not begrudge those that seek to appeal to women, minorities, or other arbitrary demographics by making different games. ”
        -First actual post.

        [colonies]

        Not questioning shit happened, questioning your decision of all white male shunning.

        [jokes]

        What you are saying is contradictory. The defenition of a joke is something is not meant to be taken seriously done for laughter or amusement. A joke is still racism, always, in every case, is something i simply do not agree with, and a standard that would be ludicrous to apply anywhere else.

        If i joke about killing someone(again, in the most obviously ridiculous terms where i explain i will teleport into his house and use rune magic to unleash cthulhu upon him), is that still a death threat? No, the context matters, always.

        [Options]

        I may used buckshot where i should have used solid slugs, but let us dive into it nonetheless.

        “…Not only is the validity of the actual issue dubious in the extreme…”

        The issue being women in gaming and differences, but i should have added something to indicate that, and not all minorities. I cannot argue with personal experience, but to reiterate, is it a hobby culture that somehow facilitates racism(though i have not read any monthly-racist-gamer manifesto and if you actually look at any online forum you will see racism is tolerated just about nowhere, especially not here(maybe kkk)) or is that a bunch of dickweeds and the result of far larger factors in society, not a hobby that somehow encourages racism.

        “…It’s every bit as imaginairy as the elf games that we play, just less fun,…” “…Fostering some sort of ‘inclusivity’ policy at a gaming convention is only going to make bigots resent your presence…”

        Racist gamer culture, or a bunch of uneducated morons at a con, unrelated to gamer culture?

        As for inclusivity policy, yes, that is what i said and i stand by it. You cannot force people to change what they think(in this context, in a larger one im guessing you could probably force someone by using isolation cells and cultural engineering). You can only educate them on why their views are wrong or a polite request to everyone to treat eachother with respect.

        [Racist stereotypes in books]
        Quote me on where i said we have to keep racist stereotypes in books.
        I think i said i was opposed to apply some sort of political correctness filter to everything that was written. I said those stereotypes in a gamebook, positive or negative, don’t have the effect that you think they have. Restricting what can or cannot be in a book is the opposite of what i advocate.

        1) So it is because of an implicit denial of the severity of past atrocities by my ancestors(or even general ethnicity, if there is such a thing) versus your ancestors that you feel it is more severe? I can see how that would skew it a lot faster, sure.

        2) I cannot argue with what you care about or not.

        [Joke line]

        Yes, we have advocated that you are somewhat okay with it under certain circumstances(friends) which is what i have been trying to convey, and that context matters, which is also what i have been trying to say to you. I am not attacking you or the fact you have been treated unjustly and racist. I am not saying you have no right to be offended when a stranger makes a racist joke.

        [Power]

        I’m saying not all minds are set in stone, and i will indeed leave it at that. I have no will to offend you or to question your experiences. If i have made it appear as though i am attacking you, then i wish to assure you this is not my intention.

        Best,
        Prince.

      • January 29, 2015 12:30 pm

        [colonies]
        As I said, if someone came to your door and punched you in the face everyday, how long before you stop answering the door?

        [jokes]
        “What you are saying is contradictory. The defenition of a joke” and the definition of racist joke is quite different. I can also rhetorically isolate singular nouns but where does that leave us? Look, we can go down the endless semantic rabbit hole or we can accept that we both know what “racist joke” means. Insult comic is also contradictory by your rhetorical flourish but we both know what an insult comic is.

        It’s fine that you don’t agree with me. We can leave it at that. No need to start playing games.

        [options]
        Yes, gamer culture makes it easier for people to be racist. It’s a niche hobby, participated in small groups (usually privately), and as a general rule by people who are notorious for their antisocial views and lack of self-awareness. This blog exists for a reason. RPGsite and RPGnet exist. Sure, no one is flying a swastika or decrying the loss of slavery but that doesn’t mean racism isn’t there.

        Magical-Negro dice. “Hey in my world hobgoblins are Japanese”. Gypsies who solely exist to reinforce a racist horror movie stereotype? What a great idea for a book! – Look, if you can’t see racism within gamer culture, I can’t convince you. The evidence is all around you and there is tonnes of it. You might not accept stereotypes as racist and that’s okay. It just means that for you racism isn’t a problem while I’m still going to keep my distance from this kind of wank because I find it racist and uncomfortable.

        Inclusivity policy is a polite request. No one is going around at Cons brow-beating people with a copy of Orientalism in their hand. It’s a set of guidelines for decent behaviour. How is outlining what is and ins’t acceptable behaviour at a Con forcing people to do anything? You know what, how about people boycott the Con if they are so concerned about telling their racist jokes and groping women without permission? Why are minorities forced to change while everyone gets off?

        How do you purpose to get rid of racist stereotypes without guidelines? Actually, never mind that I never said you claimed to want to keep racist stereotypes in books. I said you claimed that it was silly and pandering. We will have to disagree on this point too. I know you think you’re being all classical liberal freedom guy but I have to take a stand against racism. I can’t control what people put in their books but I can voice my opinion and boycott racist books. No free-speech wacko is going to convince me that I’m a bad person for doing so. If you think it’s wrong to advocate that art be free of racism then that’s an impasse we can never overcome.

        Also, I don’t “think” these things about stereotypes in books, I’ve seen it happen. I’ve been attacked at a table over stereotypes in books. So it’s not the impossibility you claim it is and I’m not the only person to say so.

        1.) You latched on to one thing and ignored all the other examples. You can’t simplify it.

        2.) No, your saying that racist jokes aren’t racist unless they meet criteria which you haven’t offered. I’m saying, racist jokes are always racist and my being fine with that or not doesn’t change that they are racist.

        [power]
        I understand what you’re saying. I’m just pointing out a fact which might show you how naive throwing around statements like “you’re not powerless” is. I’m not offended or mad at you, don’t think that I am. Just because I’m challenging you on certain points doesn’t mean I’m angry. All I wish to do at this point in the conversation is try to convey the severity of the situation to you. In my mind you’re being awfully flippant about things you’ve never seen. I’m glad your country and gaming scene is so diverse and harmonious where racism isn’t an issue but that doesn’t mean gaming culture doesn’t have a problem.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 29, 2015 12:54 pm

        Regarding that “nobody’s decrying the loss of slavery” bit, Geoffrey McKinney, the man who brought us Empire of the Pedo Throne, wrote that the Confederacy’s defeat in the U.S. Civil War was a tragedy.

        It would be irresponsible not to speculate about his inclusion of Terran skin tones among the Skittles-bag natives of John Wayne Gacy’s Barsoom.

      • January 29, 2015 1:15 pm

        I’m trying to be generous with my estimation but that…doesn’t surprise me at all. I know there are hardcore racists in gaming but besides that one White Nationalist guy I’m surprised to he said that publicly. Those types tend to be very secretive about their politics.

        Also, thanks for the link YDIS, I just noticed it.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 29, 2015 1:58 pm

        Fuck, I can’t find the link, but Geoffrey also had a “slavery wasn’t so bad, picking cotton all day in the fresh air sounds like a lark” post. The fact that he wasn’t drummed out of the “polite” precincts of gamerdom tells you all you need to know about the state of the hobby.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 29, 2015 3:38 pm

        @Dontwantolive

        [colonies]
        Understand your aversion, just hoping i can convince you we aren’t all secretly carrying confederate/nazi flags under our shirts.

        [jokes]
        A philosophical argument is not a game.

        [options]
        Does gaming make them antisocial or are they antisocial and therefore driven to game? Regardless, we are arguing apples and oranges here and i think our definition and indeed agreement on what exactly consitutes gamer culture might be different.

        Look, if people find something racist or offensive, that’s fucking fine. They should speak up. FATAL didn’t do the reputations of their creators any good and its a clear cut example when people go too far. The reaction to it was largely reprehension and contempt. It sorted itself out, without any guidelines. We probably can’t agree on the severity of certain stuff, and we are free to make our own choices. I’m saying that if you dig far enough, you can find offensiveness and stereotypes in fucking anything, there is always room for nuance.

        [Con]
        Decent human being request is always fine. As for your question, power dynamics man.

        [Free-speech wacko]
        I certainly don’t consider you a bad person for voicing an opinion. And boycotting stuff or voicing opinions against what you deem is offensive is great, and how we can sort what works for people. Guidelines is another matter. As for them being a necessity, this place seems to do fine in getting rid of the racists without guidelines or heavy handed moderation. On occasion the inhabitants even act like human beings.

        [Books]
        It’s not an impossibility, i’m saying those books aren’t making people racist. I’m saying they are already racist and a picture in a book doesn’t suddenly flip a racist switch. Perhaps over an extended period and with constant reinforcement, it could. But even then, people get exposed to so many stimuli i doubt the effect would be as significant as you claim it is. I guess the crypto-racists could see it as an excuse to be racist, but then again, they will find that excuse some other way. If a single source could make people racist or nonracist, the plethora of black cop meets white cop movies in the 80s would have eliminated discrimination against black people long ago.

        1) Irrelevant, my conclusion works fine on that premise alone. The rest just adds to it.
        2) Are you asking me to outline the exact nuances of social situations to such a degree that we have a model for when i think something is racist or a joke? I don’t have access to all that subconscious information right now man. You are saying any form of racism, even ironic racism to mock racists and racism, is racism. I don’t agree.

        [Power]
        Sure, and i am glad we can have this conversation here and to exchange views and perspectives. I was hoping to convey that i think that people can and will change their minds once they get to know people. I’m sorry if that comes across as patronizing to you. I might consider being more considerate and will certainly give the issue some thought.

        Best,
        Prince

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 29, 2015 3:44 pm

        Heh, i remember Geoffy mourning the confederate days. I can’t for the life of me picture Geoffry hurting so much as a fly or molest a kid but he does seem to have these weird fucking ideas typical of a dude who may have never seen a coloured person in his life.

      • January 30, 2015 2:43 am

        [options]
I spoke up and I’m getting really tired of the merry-go-round, this is why a lot of minorities just stay quiet or make their own groups and why you don’t hear from gamers of colour much on the topic. Wow, a handful of games. Geez, gamers really are a bastion of self-policing morally upright citizens.
        [Con]
Oh, power dynamics. Of course! Yeah, not a good reason. You’re actually making me more militant on this point.
        [free-speech wacko]
When the right to say and do racist things becomes more important than the right to equal treatment, then something has gone terribly wrong.
        [books]
        nobody is saying books are making people racist. The words used have been: encourage, promote, and reinforce. All imply racist views already exist. You seem to think unless people are being overly aggressive racists then their behaviour can not be called racist and that’s disingenuous as fuck.

        1) No, it doesn’t. You want me to answer your question? No. The denial about the past does not make it worse. It’s apart of a whole which makes it worse and you can’t simplify that whole.
        
2) No, you are saying that. I’m saying racist jokes are racist. Irony and mock racism are jokes about racism. They target racism or racists unlike racist jokes which target a minority group.
        [Power]
        Look back on this discussion. You’ve given very little ground and entrenched yourself in some very ugly rhetoric in response to my complaints.

        Is this how I can change peoples minds? Being told to put up with in and fit in or go away. Being told that attempts to outline decent con behaviour is coercion.

        It’s only when you try to talk down to me that you become patronising. You’ve twisted a lot of what I’ve said and made a few false claims, some I’ve risen to and some I’ve let go. You’ve explicitly told me I don’t understand what I’ve experienced and made some ridiculous arguments which you smugly think proves some point about social justice. After all this, you are still as ignorant to racism as when you first started, this is what I find patronising.

        I’ll leave you with this before you have the last word, if you want it, in summary. No matter what you think and say tomorrow I still wake up and go to a job where I’m underpaid and clerical staff assume I don’t speak English. I am a TA in a Comp. Lit department. You get to walk away from this discussion and nothing happens while gaming is still a backward place for me.

        Alright. Have at it. I appreciate your inclination to conversation.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 30, 2015 5:25 am

        [Options]
        Fair enough.
        [free-speech wacko]
        I think there is a difference between what people say and what they do, and I would like to add that social ostracism is definitely something that they do. I think people should focus less on a sentence in a book and more on the way people interact.

        [books]
        1) I apologize if I have simplified it.
        2) Fair.
        [Power]
        I think we should have outlined what policy means, in the sense that I may have interpreted the gravity of what a ‘policy’ entails differently. I have no problem with a request for everyone to act like goddamn human beings.

        You know what? I was wrong. I don’t live in America, i don’t know the gamer culture there very well, and i can only discuss what i perceive here, or online. I’m ignorant on your situation and if my questions came across as patronizing to you, i apologize. It was not my intention to be insulting or disingenuous.

        Best,
        Prince.

      • Scott permalink
        January 31, 2015 9:30 pm

        Oh, cool, YDIS got a tumblr

  28. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 27, 2015 11:40 am

    I didn’t read all that. Did one of us come out as gay or something?

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 27, 2015 12:06 pm

      No, something more momentous- Kent learned how to count to twelve without taking off a shoe.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        January 27, 2015 3:26 pm

        That’s actually how Kunt counts up to “what smells like over-cooked cabbage?”

  29. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 27, 2015 12:03 pm

    When looking for Bloodymage’s unique brand of philosophy and motivational blurbs (that would make great text for day-to-day desk calendars), be sure and check his general posts on DF, cause you might miss out on gems on other people’s threads such as:

    I used to live in Modesto.

    I love dice.

    Damn, another canceled game. Wish I could cancel my life.

    That last one could be a great ice breaker for Blooey to wear at a con when he shows up late for his sessions.

    • January 27, 2015 12:10 pm

      With the amount of time Blooey spends slamming his head against the desk, that calendar had better have a padded base.

  30. January 27, 2015 4:42 pm

    Are all you guys getting paid by the word this month and I didn’t get the fucking memo? OK. I can dig it. Uh. Yeah.

    In yet another tragic attempt to manufacture controversy, Postmortem Studios is back on the front lines of the culture wars now that it has become clear that three years ago a woman killed in Ireland was into Gor, a fantasy franchise beloved of bondage freaks, mens rights advocates (MRA), speed seduction aficionados and other underemployed dudes of a certain age cultivating a look somewhere between baby hobo and Florida goth. (No homo Driver!) As you all know Gor is Postmortem’s flagship and after raising $5,500 to publish — no strings attached — last year the brave little publishing house has positioned itself to propagate any salacious details that might grab media attention and give overgrown man children in the gaming community cause once again to compare themselves to the Social Democrats for whom Martin Fucking Niemöller did nothing because he was not a Social Democrat and furthermore used a completely different AC scale since that bitch was Old School. That’s right, Pat Pulling, Tipper Gore and our own Lorraine Williams (how’s it hanging, Lorraine? Loose and liquid?) are ready at any moment to spring from the shadows and draw their sneering eye to the gaming community in general and Old School / DIY roleplayers in particular. This is happening now! Mom has found your best porno mag! Busted!

    I have it on good authority that Postmortem Studios is vulnerable to any fresh disparagement cast toward its affiliation with the Gor lifestyle and is only acting responsibly by stirring the pot and naming names. This is, of course, nothing to do with the Gorean or gaming communities, there are profiteers everywhere and they’re no more likely to turn up in relation to gaming than anything else. Indeed some studies suggest that gamers are more stable psychologically than those who are not. Plus I can’t bear the thought of anything making news without me in it. You can reach me via my @twitter.

    Needless to say, I take the side of the Gorean and kink communities in the face of another shitstorm. Mental health issues are also hugely important to me and it’s clear that just about every prominent figure in this “scene” is deeply depressed for some reason. Unlike some people I am not going to name a lot of names here but please, if your life isn’t working, don’t double down and spend money on one more copy of the Monster Manual on eBay: try to do something different, make a change.

    Now that I’ve talked a lot about me and inserted myself as artfully as a wet wooden butt plug into a private and legal matter unfolding in another country over events that took place three years ago, down here at the bottom of this page I’d like to extend a hand to the family and any other people who might actually have more at stake than damage control on a hobby publishing project. You, you are the stars! I hope people will not fixate too much on salacious detail or use this trial to attack gamers or ask me to be a spokesman for Gor, “kinksters” and the gaming community in general. If you do, you know where to reach me.

    Ethics in game journalism actually, babies!

    https://postmortemstudios.wordpress.com/2015/01/27/gor-the-elaine-ohara-murder/

    • January 27, 2015 6:58 pm

      The lead detective’s name is “Ultan Sherlock” which makes it sound like he’s an ’80s-era Chaplain in the Dark Angels.

      • January 28, 2015 2:12 am

        Ultan Sherlock will be my next Call of Cthulhu character. Retired Oirish copper dragged out to investigate one last weirdo ritual killing case/nineteen-year-old flatfoot about to have his mind blown by the unspeakable horror of the universe, depending on if it’s one of those historical as-much-like-HPL-as-possible-with-protagonists-who-are-nothing-like-HPL’s jobs or not.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      January 27, 2015 8:23 pm

      I can’t help wondering if Ms. O’Hara had pink socks.

      • January 28, 2015 2:41 am

        Paul Barry’s “Dungeon Masters of Gor” will be released in March 2015. By that stage the manuscript should have been scraped clean.

      • Kent permalink
        January 28, 2015 3:43 am

        Von, are you a crippled lad like out of Dickens?

      • January 28, 2015 4:49 am

        I have a dud leg and I live in South London – so yes, actually.

    • January 28, 2015 2:45 am

      Stay classy, Grimothy Jimothy D – or as classy as you can when you’re trawling the depths of sword-and-sausage bullshit like that tentacled thingy from Star Wars* and lashing your cart to someone else’s dead horse. Maybe there’s a case for making gaming -less- inclusive when it comes to including this sort of ghastly little specimen…

      * – I know it has a name. Everything in Star Wars has a name. Don’t make the mistake of thinking I care.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 28, 2015 6:50 am

        THE SARLACC/DIANOGA YOU IGNORANT BOG-DWELLING MUPPET

      • January 28, 2015 6:59 am

        Is it? I can’t say I give a toss, yeronner.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 28, 2015 11:03 am

      That disgusting piece of excrement Grim Jim will exploit anything to sell his fucking products.

      “I have it on good authority that this woman was known to be vulnerable and the actual BDSM community had been acting responsibly in relation to her.”

      That makes me feel so much better. Those disgusting perverts from the Gor scene were FUCKING A RETARD!!!!!!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        January 28, 2015 11:19 am

        “Needless to say, I take the side of the Gorean and kink communities in the face of another shitstorm.”

        Of course you do, you huckster piece of shit!

  31. Bag permalink
    January 28, 2015 3:50 am

    Jesus Kent, Im getting sick of containing these three morons:

    Captain Kirks Dick Blood
    FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN
    Bigby’s Lubed Fist

    They are fucking each other and writhing around in each others shit … and smiling, grinning all the time. I can’t stand it.

    • Kent permalink
      January 28, 2015 3:58 am

      Shut the fuck up, Bag.

      You are perfect for the job.

      • January 28, 2015 4:53 am

        Jesus suffering Christ.

        Kent, do you remember the halcyon days of last month, when you (briefly) engaged that fine brain of yours and took me to task on the inadequacies of the Zak review and my poor comprehension of your (early, legitimate, worthwhile) blog posts? Do you remember those? When you presented an articulate and alternative take on dungeons, dragons, fantasy literature and the mathematician’s addition to it all?

        You were a king here once, me bucko, but you keep your yap open when you have nothing worthwhile to say. Pack it in. Leave the blog up, redo the Index so all your decent posts are listed somewhere, and fuck off out of town until you’ve got something more than talking to yourself like a right mental faggot.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        January 28, 2015 11:21 am

        Wait, what the fuck is Kunt going on about? Is he fantasizing about our nut sacks or something?

      • January 28, 2015 2:06 pm

        Talking to his own, I think. Cooing fondly over it and dandling it in his sweaty paw, resolved to the certainty that none other will lay a finger thereon.

  32. Kent permalink
    January 28, 2015 3:57 am

    I don’t want to live on this planet anymore,

    You sound and act more gay than brown to me. Of course you could be both. I think many people don’t mind gays in their company unless they are *acting* gay, which is phoney acting out and because immature in adults, distracting.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 28, 2015 9:22 am

      Look who’s back, it’s the half-assed dummygod, Manonman Mac Queer of the Tuatha De Dumbass.

      You’re a fine one to be commenting on anyone’s sexuality, Mr “Female Sexuality is Monstrous”.

      Go back to your job cleaning peep show booths with your tongue, you cretinous gamer creep, adults are talking.

  33. January 28, 2015 4:11 am

    Thanks Kent. I am normal, beautiful, and brown. Acting gay is just how we try to fit in with the white man. You’re all poofs to us. Glad I’m getting the hang of it. You’re posts sure did help though! Toodles.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      January 28, 2015 6:54 am

      Dude, I can’t find the Reply button to that long-ass string above, so I hope you don’t mind if I latch on here.

      Sounds like most of the racism you have encountered started off as passive ignorance, but they doubled down when confronted about it? It is hard to sa without specifics, and i am not asking you for that, but that is pretty bad. Many people try to justify their behavior by decrying your complaints as being typically PC. And while they complain about the existence of PC in our culture, they are in fact glad of it because it gives them a smokescreen to claim oppression of their free bigoted speech.

      Damn, all the recent wordiness is affecting me…

      Anyway, I am curious if you feel gaming “culture” has improved, or worsened, or if it never changes for you? I don’t know where the line is here, since we are talking generalities, just what you feel the situation to be.

      Most importantly, how do you feel about Pundejo using his half-hispanic heritage to deflect some criticisms about his plagarism as being driven by racism? Well, this isn’t really important, just making another excuse to say John Tarnowski is the RPGPlagarist.

      Also, that Greg Christopher fatass totally crushed Scottt Driver in last year’s March Blog Madness Round 1, only to get pounded by Poag in Round 2.

      • January 28, 2015 8:36 am

        “Sounds like most of the racism you have encountered started off as passive ignorance, but they doubled down when confronted about it?…”

        Yeah, you got it. That’s exactly what I think it is.

        I can’t really say if things have changed. I try to limit face-to-face contact with gamers I don’t know. My understanding of sub-culture is that it’s inertia. Society on the whole is inertia. Once a society has made a commitment to socio-liberal ideals then it changes, slowly and not without it’s shit-storms but moves towards those ideals none-the-less. So I’d say things are better but probably not as much as self-congratulatory twenty-somethings think.

        I think pundit is a really confused person. W.E.B Dubois would call it double consciousness (pretentious culture marxist that I am). I’d point out that his rants against Tekumel getting it “wrong” and AoI getting it “right” is textbook Saïd. He’s basically a non-South Asian trying to dictate what is and isn’t a good interpretation of D&D India for profit and influence. Anything more would be pop-psychology on my part.

      • January 28, 2015 9:31 am

        Is Pundit seriously playing the race card to say the accusations of plagiarism are unjust? That is fucking sad. He should just stick with the International Storygamer Conspiracy™, it’s more believable.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        January 28, 2015 10:04 am

        OK, I did a google search to find Tarnowski’s using his sorta-race as a shield, and it is from a thread we linked to before. I misremembered the specific, but here it is – scroll on down the fight between Tarnowski and Jack until Tarnowski accuses Jack of racism because he posts here –

        http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=31169&page=4

        “half-spic” – the whole thing is baseless, just like Tarnowski’s entire rune-driven life. Except for the rich and famous part, of course.

        Sorry to derail the conversation, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. But the good news is, we can now use you as our shield! 🙂

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 28, 2015 10:24 am

        I’d point out that his rants against Tekumel getting it “wrong” and AoI getting it “right” is textbook Saïd. He’s basically a non-South Asian trying to dictate what is and isn’t a good interpretation of D&D India for profit and influence.

        This is the point where I break down and confess that I borrowed a loaner copy of “Arrows of Indra” from my friend STeven ChanG. Damn, it’s crap, pure crap. Despite his assertions that he did copious research, there are glaring errors even in the equipment section. For instance, he uses the term “tulwar” to describe a “two-handed curved sword”, while the historical talwar or tulwar is not only a single-handed weapon, but the hilt is cramped, thus imposing a specific type of grip on the wielder. The khanda is a straight sword which has an extended pommel projection allowing a two-handed grip, but he doesn’t include that as an option.

        Even more egregiously, he describes the kukri as a curved dagger “favored by thieves and assassins”. I think the Gurkhas and other Nepalese ethnic groups would be pissed at that characterization… it’s especially grievous in light of the one recent viral news story about a Gurkha.

        Pundejo didn’t even do a cursory Wikipedia search to verify his assertions, I honestly believe he just cut-and-pasted the weapons section of a computer RPG manual. “Arrows of Indra” is not the “Mythic India” RPG you’re looking for… but Prince told you that already.

        The Diagram Groups Weapons Encyclopedia, while not in-depth, has a nice, basic overview of arms from the Indian subcontinent, including a variety of military picks designed to penetrate mail.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        January 28, 2015 10:59 am

        Half-Spic? Wasn’t that a Cher song or something?

      • January 28, 2015 9:23 pm

        Hahaha. I don’t think we need a shield. Pundo loves to omit context. If we all go to a Don Rickles show and he calls us every slur under the sun, that’s not racism. The active racists here have been treated accordingly. Our posts speak for themselves. Basically, we’re the Don Rickles of the OSR.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 29, 2015 3:45 pm

        Hahaha that AoI section was pretty great perhaps we could go for an AoI community review 2.0 if we get another OSR dryspell.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 29, 2015 6:30 pm

        The “monsters” section is even more embarassing… GIANT SNAKES!!! GIANT BOARS!!! Fuck, anyone clogging up their bestiary with entries for animals needs to be smacked hard. Meanwhile, the section on asuras is boring BORING BORING. You nailed it on the head when you stated that, instead of broadening D&D in order to encompass Indian mythology, he narrowed Indian mythology in order to pound it into the D&D model. He maintained the old “magic weapons needed to hit” model rather than “this asura needs to be attacked in the twilight, being immune to all attacks by day or night” which is one of the coolest features of the real mythology.

      • January 30, 2015 6:32 am

        “Even more egregiously, he describes the kukri as a curved dagger “favored by thieves and assassins”. I think the Gurkhas and other Nepalese ethnic groups would be pissed at that characterisation…”

        Yep. Classic Orientalism.

        All this weapon talk makes me want a game of intrigue, war, and politics set in a post-apocalyptic (post-kali yuga) mythic India with Guru’s leading schools based on the “martial clans” and their regional martial-arts. An Indian Fist of the North Star, if you will.

  34. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    January 28, 2015 10:57 am

    I resolve not to judge my fellow gamer by the color of their skin, but by the content of their suckdungeon.

  35. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 28, 2015 11:05 am

    Since Kunt farted up the room, I’ll share some heartwarming Blooey fun to blow out the bangers and mash stank. Here he divulges, in a single paragraph, the amount of personal info and woe we Bloodymage scholars usually have to collate for years to piece together. Rare find!

    “I used to live on Santa Ana in the 90’s. Wife owned a Mazda minivan, then a Nissan which she died in. I had an old 3/4 Toyota p/u. Workin’ two jobs and cuttin’ wood. Now, I’m just trying to survive. I own a Kia Sportage w/ a now meaningless NRA Life Member sticker on the back and a DAV front license…”

    Kia Sportage, eh? Small but nifty utility SUV. Fuck Blooey, buck up. Your driving, and only a slightly punk-ass vehicle. At least you aren’t on the bus, like about half the blOwSR including the likes of Zak and Raggi have to do. Ghetto fabulous, baby!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 28, 2015 11:18 am

      Workin’ two jobs and cuttin’ wood. Now, I’m just trying to survive.

      I wonder if he means “cuttin’ wood” literally, or if it’s an idiomatic expression. I need a Bloo-to-Standard American English translator.

      You’re getting close to an “origin story”, CKDB. I wonder what finally transformed Steve Willett, husband, father, veteran, go-getter, into first Bloodymage and now Blooey.

      I still haven’t figured out the whole “computer idiocy” thing- the guy seems like he’s sinking a fuckton of money into keeping an old dinosaur of a laptop working. Buying a new one, and refraining from downloading terabytes of porn, seems like it would be more effective than continuing on with his current M.O. I also wonder how much money he pisses away trying to monetize his suckdungeons… the ASE guy warned him, but he wouldn’t listen.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 28, 2015 11:26 am

      “Wife owned a Mazda minivan, then a Nissan which she died in.”

      Damn that sucks, Blooey. 😦

      “meaningless NRA Life Member sticker on the back”

      Damn.

  36. forget all that past bullshit permalink
    January 28, 2015 11:31 am

    Wow, refreshing thoughts on race from a bunch of motherfuckers I wrote off as racist and homophobic long ago. Well, a couple of you have refreshing thoughts – the rest of you are racist and homophobic. And perverted as fuck.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 28, 2015 11:47 am

      I’m a work in progress. I fear looking in the mirror and seeing Mjollnir or Tarnowski or GOPagan’s reflection gazing back at me. I hate those guys.

    • January 28, 2015 2:13 pm

      The merit of this place is that it builds a skin sufficiently thick for having serious conversations in which people actually disagree, without the shrilling and rodents-in-a-trap infighting of your average echo chamber. The quagmire of casual fail is a feature, not a bug, and I think most of the turd-flinging monkeys in this place are probably OK really.

  37. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    January 28, 2015 11:39 am

    I wonder if Blooey’s Tell All and Leave No Detail No Matter How Small Out posting style might actually be therapeutic? Maybe I should give it a try.

    I’m spending too much money on cocaine. I need to quit drinking every day which seems to be the gateway to me calling my dealer. I deleted her number from my phone, that should help. I hate living here but I’m too set in my ways to sell the house and move away somewhere warmer. I need to get a gaming group going or something but everyone wants to play Pathfinder or D&D 5th around here, and I want to try something new like FATE or DungeonWorld. I’m having an affair with a married woman which works for me because I can’t deal with commitment. I’m just existing, going through the motions of life but without any real gusto. I smoke too much and will probably die of lung cancer before I’m 50, if my liver doesn’t give out first, but at least I’ll die a gamer or die trying.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 28, 2015 11:48 am

      Now I feel worse. 😦

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        January 28, 2015 12:28 pm

        Dude – have a couple of drinks, do a few lines, take some bong hits. You’ll feel better. 🙂

      • January 28, 2015 12:34 pm

        Is the married woman you’ve been banging also your dealer? If so, pour yourself a stiff one and reach out.

  38. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 28, 2015 12:58 pm

    I need to know, do you get the married chick to do blow and drink with you? Cause I’ve found that’s an excellent way to get her to let you “finish” wherever you want on her during porky-porky time.

  39. Kent permalink
    January 28, 2015 2:41 pm

    Withnail and I.

    Best film ever made? Just possibly.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 28, 2015 3:33 pm

      If you had any friends, you could discuss your wee little movies with them.

    • January 28, 2015 5:06 pm

      Withnail & I is quality. Top three material, no question.

      Apropos of nothing, I last watched it with a gamer acquaintance who found the whole thing, and my assertion of its quality, quite baffling. I’m not saying I think less of him for that, but it’s true that we’ve barely spoken since.

  40. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 28, 2015 3:26 pm

    A film about broke-ass losers in Britain living in squalor, and featuring gay characters. Gee, I wonder why you like that movie, Kunt.

    • January 28, 2015 5:08 pm

      Don’t forget the fearsome Irishman who presents a dire threat to perfumed English ponces of all kinds. While playing armchair psychologist is intellectually dubious, one can’t help but draw certain conclusions.

  41. Kent permalink
    January 28, 2015 3:46 pm

    I love Withnail and I. What a great movie.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      January 28, 2015 4:07 pm

      Anything that is Columbo free
      Cannot a great movie be.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      January 29, 2015 7:05 am

      Seen Interstellar yet? Also recommending Unsere Fater unsere mütter, three part miniseries about WW2 from the nazi side for consideration(though mjollnir would hate it).

  42. Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
    January 28, 2015 4:02 pm

    When is February finally going to get here? I feel like I pre-ordered my Magical Negro Afro Dice ages ago.

    • OABD permalink
      January 29, 2015 8:55 pm

      Oscar Anderson Likes this.

  43. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 28, 2015 5:01 pm

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=69165

    I’m telling ya, Bloodymage and Thorkhammer would be the perfect duo for Bloo Detective. And Dorkhammer somehow thinking that showers tend to have drain plugs is more funner.

    They drive around the bayou in BM’s Kia. While Blooey just constantly utters his Waiting for Godot-style word stuff, Dorky would be looking for Winking Smiley symbols on dead bodies and church walls,

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 28, 2015 6:28 pm

      Don’t let Thorkie anywhere near young female decedents!

    • bloodymage permalink
      January 28, 2015 8:30 pm

      It’s a bitch having to depend on other people. Told them several days ago my showere wasn’t draining. Anything done about? Noooo. I just called again.

      Infernal plumbing. Sigh! 😦

  44. bloodymage permalink
    January 28, 2015 8:33 pm

    I’m having trouble w/ TX. I no longer have the $$$ for Texas, I’m getting rid of my dog, I’m seeing a therapist, I still can’t stand the food and the world is still moving too fast.

    Promised to no longer beatch but I’m loser, no doubt about it.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 29, 2015 1:50 am

      Oh, the money’s tight,
      No meatloaf night 😦
      Deep in the heart of Texas!

    • bloodymage permalink
      January 29, 2015 1:52 pm

      I’m in Irving.

  45. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 29, 2015 11:31 am

    The chicken’s too chewy 😦
    CKDB calls me “Blooey”
    Deep in the heart of Texas!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 29, 2015 11:38 am

      A shower clog
      Gave up my dog
      Deep in the heart of Texas!

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      January 29, 2015 1:18 pm

      Neighbors have bad breath,
      Got the Blue Screen of Death,
      Deep in the heart of Texas!

    • bloodymage permalink
      January 29, 2015 7:26 pm

      I’m here. Guess I need a life. This isn’t easy as it once was. I do it for my friends and to try and keep in the hobby. At times I think it ain’t worth it.

      I guess it’s another bust. Ask why I’m bitter.

  46. bloodymage permalink
    January 29, 2015 7:21 pm

    I threatened to sue. I’m not often nasty (internally I am) but I figured I had to do something.

    • OABD permalink
      January 29, 2015 9:03 pm

      Is this concerning that whole Dubcon thing, Bloo? I can explain that – actually, I can make it all go away. Paying off your church parking lot fees for a decade? Done. Buy 6000 Polyeggs? No problem. New Dell Inspiron with Windows 95? Here you go.

      Kent, open invitation to the malibu pad, as always.

    • bloodymage permalink
      January 30, 2015 10:52 am

      They fixed it but I’m still in a world o’ hurt but I’m inching closer. Have to find a local bank and have to dump my mess on a debt counselor. Still broke, still broken, but I guess progress is being made.

  47. January 29, 2015 10:44 pm

    @Prince

    Don’t panic, I’m going to actually play some D&D either today or Monday. That should sweep away the lingering traces of Swinehood, right?

    [Gamer culture]

    “You assume anyone who regularly plays rpgs(e.g a gamer) is a part of gamer culture and participates in the same online arena.”

    Do I? I don’t recall saying that (or thinking, but I can’t prove what was going on in my head).
    I recall saying that I thought you were overestimating the effect of the Internet, which – I hope – would indicate that I don’t make that assumption.
    I don’t think the meme pool (as in the repeated stuff, the material that gains traction, as opposed to everything that is said on t’Internet ever) is all that vast, but I haven’t carried out any sort of formal depth study/discourse analysis so I’m willing to waive the point for lack of evidence. Lassitude stops play.

    I agree that you’ll see more homogenity in friendship groups – but I do go out of my way to make contact with people who disagree with me and don’t like the same stuff I do (case in point – why do you think I’m here?), and at least one of my current players actively denigrates my taste in… everything, really. Am I an outlier? Possibly. Am I claiming to sit down with a bunch of randomers with whom I have next to nothing in common BUT a shared interest in gaming? Occasionally (con games, demo games at clubs, most wargaming events). Is that necessarily enjoyable/preferable to the friendship group… debatably.

    Please don’t conflate ‘veteran gamer’ with ‘plays with the same GM/group all the time’. If I didn’t make my definition clear enough – I mean someone who has played a lot of games in their time, with or without the same old group, and internalised wisdom and practices – “standard issue ten foot pole”, “that level one spell is dumb”, “killing orc babies argument” – you know, the stuff of which repetitive forum conversations are made. These people exist and they are representative of a type. (This is getting dangerously Forgey now. Someone get me a Pundit drip.)

    [women/explanation]

    “Culture is certainly a factor, so let’s assume both mechanisms drive the differences, with undetermined effect sizes until we get a cage, an electric prod, a diverse group of cheerleaders, a hose and a copy of the Rules Encyclopedia.”

    Sounds like a top night in.

    [diversity/gamerkultur]

    “Cross compare Jamal, Zak, Kent, Raggs, Jack and Alexis on views in gaming and tell me that isn’t diverse.”

    Tell me there aren’t comparisons that can be made directly between any two of those people. There’s overlap on the Venn diagrams. They may take opposite points on the same issue (cf. Zak and Kent as the two with whom I’m most familiar) but they agree that it’s an issue and it’s those issues that comprise the kultur.

    (We should commission RR to do a pastiche of that ‘Destroy This Mad Brute’ poster.)

    “Recruiting outside of an irrelevant pool to recruit outside of a relevant pool doesn’t lose you anything, but it doesn’t really gain you anything either, and it seems inefficient.”

    I feel like we’re coming at this from cross purposes, having one of those conversations that might not end [(C) Zak Smith Sabbath Shamayalan, Whenever He Said It Unless He Didn’t]. If I were to summarise our interactions so far I think it’d read something like this.

    Intellectual Love God: “If you want wimmin/minorities in gaming you have to a) ask them and b) not actively put them off.”
    Prince Among Swine: “I don’t think it’s worth striving for immediately apparent diversity for its own sake in gaming. Nor do I think that writing an ‘inclusive’ RPG manual is going to change anyone’s behaviour except in such tiny incremental steps that it’s barely worth the effort.”
    Intellectual Love God: “Fair enough, Blue Rose is tryhard bollocks. Can’t hurt to try though.”
    Prince Among Swine: “But why try at all? I don’t think it’s worth striving for immediately apparent and background/functional diversity in gaming since it’s not been proven to have any effect.”
    Intellectual Love God: “I think it’s worth striving for immediately apparent and background/functional diversity in gaming when the opportunity presents itself because it hasn’t been proven to have no effect. Also RIFTS sucks balls.”
    Prince Among Swine: “Amen to that, RIFTS does indeed suck balls. Whose round is it?”
    Some King’s Midget Jester, Dragging His Nerveless Tail Behind Him: “DRINK?”
    Intellectual Love God/Prince Among Swine: “Piss off, the adults are talking.”

    “Just find interesting people and look at what they think, not how they look is what i would recommend.”

    Appearance can be a useful cue. If it looks like a boring fatbeard chances are it is, if it looks different from an boring fatbeard chances are it is.. I resent not being able to wear a fedora in public without getting flak from lady nerds but such is the nature of cultural signifiers. That’s all I’m saying. It amounts to the same thing – look for interesting people – I just take the signs of diversity as a cue for the potential of interestingness.

    ~vibes
    ~Swinehood
    ~faggotry

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 30, 2015 2:07 am

      All you Euroswine need to gather together for a convention. I’d suggest Dublin just so you could call it Dubcon (Oscar Anderson likes this), but I fear that Kent would attempt to lure you boys into his fetid spider hole.

      Von/Prince, make it happen!

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      January 30, 2015 5:36 am

      Von!

      [Gamer Culture]
      Veteran gamer point conceded. The Swine type? Do i smell the waft of pipesmoke?
      [diversity/gamerkultur]
      Yeah i think i may have struck out on that one. I want to blame meds but its ivory-tower social retardation and the lightning in the veins when i argue.
      Fifty lashes and an apology to I don’t wanna live for being an ignorant bog-dwelling muppet might be in order.

      I select based on interesting conversation, viewpoint, and fawning obeisance to my every whim.

      YDISCON-Vertigo should totally happen.

      Best,
      Prince.

      P.S RIFTS could be awesome if you adopt a format that imitates the most batshit insane extremes of 80s cartoons. And use a non-shitty system.

      • January 30, 2015 7:45 am

        RIFTS the game system will never be awesome. RIFTS the concept… I’m not running it, and I’m not playing it sober. These are the conditions of engagement.

        If you feel the need to lash yourself over your approach I shan’t stop you. It’s much more of an intellectual problem for… well, definitely me, and I assume for you too, than for someone living on the blunt end of the Kultur Klub.

        Fawning obesiance is far less fun than gothy birds who lash out when entrapped into joining the Camarilla. I feel if a player attempts violence on my person I have done something right.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 30, 2015 8:06 am

        Rifts is a sub genre of what i term the ‘clusterfuck fantasy,’ along with such hallowed games as Alpha Omega, Shadowrun, Synnabar, and maybe Everway and Amethyst. I think they have the potential to be really fun, but a frequent problem is that its hard to create order from the chaos and prevent a sort of sensory overload where ‘everything is special therefore nothing is.’ Same goes for incorporating 5 monster manuals worth of monsters into your setting.

        Lashing goth chicks are cool, if they are hot. Don’t ever stand in the path of an agressive fat goth chick. That way lies only jailtime or a heroic death neath’ the thundering folds of anxiety-drenched sweat folds.

      • January 31, 2015 3:10 pm

        I was a huge giant Rifts/Palladium dork back in the 1990s. I still have the mental scars to prove it — if you think RPGnet is too obtrusively moderated, or theRPGsite’s posters are a bunch of knuckle-dragging paleoconservatives, well, they’ve got nothing on the old Palladium Mailing List (I remember one guy describing himself as a “Jewish Militant Terrorist” on his sig).

        To be honest, the Rifts system is not that bad in actual play; it’s essentially a TSR D&D hack with a few bits bolted on. It was OSR before the OSR. It’s a solid chassis.

        If I was rewriting the games, I wouldn’t chuck the system, but it does need a ton of clarification — it’s rife with contradictory rulings across several books (how many attacks per round do I get? Are those attacks melee only or can I use them to shoot? Can energy weapons fire bursts? etc.), a few weird design accretions (why is it that robotic and supernatural strength, both do mega-damage but work on distinct scales?) and some setting stuff that just doesn’t add up mechanically (why would a monster with supernatural strength “augment” himself with puny human-strength bionics?).

        Good game, abysmally written, story of this whole fucking hobby.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 2, 2015 10:20 am

        Interesting. Would you happen to know if Rifts ultimate edition fixes some of the worse excesses and any recommendation for solving the ole WW/TSR splatbook problem with each new sourcebook adding a host of confusing and self-contradictory rule-sets without saying to hell with it and clinging to the corebook?

      • February 3, 2015 3:15 am

        PoN, forget it, it’s Palladiumtown. RUE fixes nothing *and* introduces new toys (lame ones at that — a character class called “Elemental Fusionist”). You wanna get Rifts to work, you’re getting your hands dirty and tinker with stuff. Which is why I, being a lazy bum, haven’t played it in a while.

        Tarnowski, of all people, has a halfway decent houserule for skills here: http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=10809

  48. PrinceofNothing permalink
    January 30, 2015 6:00 am

    Winter, Uruguay.

    Snow makes the world look like a grainy tv screen. The cold bites into my limbs, petrifying them like a time-dilated medusa’s gaze. The city stretches out around me, a concrete purgatory of monolithic tombstones with rayban eyes and i’m going deeper. I’m going to hell.

    All i have is a title and a wift of tabacco. Rolencian Red + Rainbow Dragon. RPGPundit, I’ll get you you son of a bitch. I enter the bar, the gun is a comforting weight within my hand. I need a name.

    It wasn’t always like this. I used to be happy. I used to roll dice and have a character sheet. It’s all ashes now. This path i’m on is a firestorm, leaving only cinders in its wake. And i’m heading for the dynamite factory for one last big bang before i burn myself out.

    A new rpg hit the streets. I saw what it did to those children. Arrows of Indra. Poorly drawn charicatures concealing rewritten copied text of Empire of the Petal Throne and D&D. Empty shell-shocked eyes and garbage bags overflowing with dodecahedrons. Someone had to speak up.

    My testimony barely made it to the Shite. I was demonized, called every name in the book. A drumhead trial. A kangaroo court where the accused is the judge, jury, and executioner. I was a wreck. But i wasn’t done.

    Three hours, nine vodka, half a roll of ten dollar bills and two bleeding fists later i had a name and an address. John Tarnowski. You son of a bitch. The cold makes the blood clot faster, enveloping me like a death shroud. But it clears my head and keeps me going.

    He isn’t done. He’s preparing a new rpg, and it will flood the streets and make its way into the households of innocent children. Dark Albion. So terrible even the Raggi family won’t touch it. I have to save this hobby.

    John Tarnowski lives in an abandoned construction yard at the city limits. The drive there nearly killed me. I’m bleeding like a stuck pig and the backseat of the cab looks like the aftermath of a naval battle. I drag myself out, clenching my gun like it was a lifeline. This hobby is killing me but I don’t know when to quit. A thin waft of pipesmoke warns me just in time.

    “You won’t take me alive SWINE!”

    Rune-magick lights up the night like fireworks, passing through air where my head used to be. I hit the ground shooting, hitting nothing. He appears to the left of me, a great beast wreathed in smoke and runes. I don’t feel the biting cold. I feel numb. I had to get up. But i was too tired to go on.

    [TOO BE CONTINUED]

  49. January 30, 2015 4:08 pm

    So it seems like I can’t quite leave this shit alone at the moment – been talking about positive messages in gaming material with the missus (Troll Bard/Social Justice Warrior) and a Notion has Motioned:

    “While your argument about inclusivity and message sending is valid and i agree with it up to a certain point, i still feel that delivering a message about inclusivity by shoehorning it into a roleplaying game universe/rules, as opposed to putting it into a mission statement at the beginning of the book or a dedication or something, completely undermines the point and feels heavy handed and quite frankly insecure.”

    It is heavy handed and insecure, but…

    There is an argument that Dungeons and Dragons is basically manifest destiny with swords and sorcery in it – certainly in the Original Game where the feeling is that you go out, clear all the funny-looking sentient hominids and dangerous predators from an area, build your castle, the next generation of adventurers go further out and on it rolls. I don’t necessarily subscribe wholeheartedly to the “orcs are basically black people yo” school of thought, but I can see how D&D is… colonially awkward, on a _TACIT_ level. This is where Prince’s argument about how RPGs don’t make you a racist comes in. Sure, they don’t. You don’t immediately become an apologist for manifest destiny when you sit down and play the OD&D but if you’re _already_ an apologist for manifest destiny then the OD&D is _tacitly_ reinforcing that.

    What I wonder is if we can’t somehow do a progressive RPG that operates on that same tacit level. Not going out of its way to flaunt its progressiveness (see also: why Blue Rose is fucking annoying), but just… having a structure that is, if you squint and think about it, technically a bit progressive, in the same way that OD&D is, if you squint and think about it, technically a bit colonial. Something that reinforces the ideologies of people who agree with it and can be caught onto and discussed by the people who don’t, WITHOUT explicitly cockadoodledooing about how great and liberal and righteous it is (because self-righteous ideologues are the the worst representatives for any ideology, see also Thatcherite wankers, Richard Dawkins, “I can’t believe you had wheat” eco-warrior types etc. etc.).

    Again, the objective is not to STRIVE FOR DIVERSITY for the sake of doing so, but to INCREASE VARIETY by promulgating different ideas and priorities… and doing so more competently, with greater subtlety and emphasis on the quality of the product itself, than has hitherto been done.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 30, 2015 5:47 pm

      I say this with all due love, honor and respect: SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!!

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      January 30, 2015 6:50 pm

      Use D&D rules, everyone is a ranger, edge of civilisation, 2 levels in an unknown catastrophe makes all of human civilisation dissapear. Your band needs to stick together, fight weather, lack of food, invading humanoid tribes that gradually start to inhabit the cities that are now empty, searching for the last remnant of humankind, if it still exists, possibly rebuild civilisation. Death in the game means you can’t make a new character or ressurection because no clerics. Everything you talk to is either a strange nature spirit or an orc creature that crudely pantomines human civilisation and now you are a mythical monstrosity that they hunt. Your goal is what you make of it. Do you spend your life searching for what made your civilisation dissapear, do you spend it murdering humanoids? Do you try to run?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 30, 2015 9:02 pm

        Everything you talk to is either a strange nature spirit or an orc creature that crudely pantomines human civilisation and now you are a mythical monstrosity that they hunt.

        That was the final point of Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend… I never bothered with that William Smith movie, knowing that there would probably be some crappy happy ending. I much prefer the protagonist finally realizing that he is the horror that stalks the cursed day and slaughters entire families while they sleep.

      • January 30, 2015 11:53 pm

        Cross-reference that with I don’t want to live’s post-Kali-Yuga Indian concept and you have something which, in the right hands (actually Indian hands?) would be a fat sight more interesting that Arrows of Indra (palette swap of the usual colonial crap).

        (Hopefully this implied Pundit-bashing will restore something of the usual tone and soothe the ruffled feathers of Mr. Fear…)

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        January 31, 2015 7:50 am

        “Come out Neville!”

        I was indeed going for something of a twilight zone/I am legend sort of strange apocalypse vibe. Entire cities emptied within the space of a single second etc. Weapon degradation, random weather and food supplies would be vital to the feel of the game, which sucks because keeping track of equipment is boring, but i guess you could streamline it all you wanted.

        Pre-collapse culture should probably avoid being overly exotic since that muddles the uncanny valley effect, but no one says you cant be creative. Also packs of wild dogs are essential. Treasure should still exist, but it doesn’t grant xp and it is useless, though you could melt down gold or bronze to make arrowheads of course.

    • January 30, 2015 9:24 pm

      What if we play D&D, but we just get henna tattoos or something… is that what you’re getting at?

    • January 30, 2015 11:17 pm

      @YDIS – Hush now.

      @Prince/BLF – That’s an idea.

      @FotU – fair enough, signal/noise and this ain’t what we’re here for. I’ll put something together for my own blog.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        January 31, 2015 5:33 am

        Thank you for your understanding. I come here for three things:
        1. To point fingers and laugh at the latest antics of the so-called luminaries of the blOwSR.
        2. Blooey!
        3.To hopefully learn of Kent’s passing from some homosexually transmitted disease or the ass cancer.

      • January 31, 2015 6:24 am

        I don’t understand the appeal of Blooey as a concept. Shaming the insufferable and humbling the undeservedly self-important I can get behind, but victimising Blooey just seems uncalled for.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        January 31, 2015 7:14 am

        If reports of bloodymage were coming in second or third hand, then yeah, it would be cruel and you probably wouldn’t see it here. But Blooey himself puts it all out there, no filter. It’s outsider performance art at its finest.

        Blooey has his support community at dragonsfart and elsewhere. What do they do? They feign concern with their hollow words of support, and more recently, turn on him with far more cruelty than you will ever see here (FreddyPigfucker I’m looking at you!) They are his home turf, his homies, his boys. But do they buy some product? No, they don’t.

        Deep down, I want to see Blooey finally win one. Get that regular gaming group together, host that convention, get that #1 product spot at RPGNow. Blooey is the everyman. He is not some pompous twat like Tarnowski, or Zak Princess, or JaMal, worthy of scorn and derision. With bloodymage, what you see is what you get. Are we not all a little bit Blooey at times?

        Je Suis Blooey!

      • bloodymage permalink
        January 31, 2015 7:21 am

        Je ne ai pas l’argent! 😦

  50. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 30, 2015 4:58 pm

    In lighter news, some squabbling and controversy is starting to steam up one of Blooey’s bitch-out threads. Our hero remains oblivious, continuing to drop his unique brand of motivation relentlessly like his android counterpart Bloobot, while the Unblown square off. Careful boys, doesn’t pay to get in fights. Every-bodies a fucking MMA fighter nowadays.

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=69165

    • bloodymage permalink
      January 30, 2015 5:37 pm

      GD this city…. takes forever to do one stinkin’ errand and I got a million to do.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        January 30, 2015 5:46 pm

        Buddy, it’s time to pass the hat again over at Dragonsfoot. I think your audience is receptive to sending money orders to you general delivery, Irving TX now.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 30, 2015 5:45 pm

      That FreddyP sure is judgmental for someone who has to take the public bus to get around. He’s a Steelers fan, so that explains a lot, especially the social retardation. Doesn’t FreddyP realize he doesn’t have to click on and read Blooey’s fucking threads if he doesn’t want to read them? And how can anybody not enjoy a good BlooeyFest of bitching and griping?

      BTW, 48 hours clean and adultery, alcohol and chemical free. One day at a time.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 30, 2015 6:06 pm

        Hey, man, don’t knock the bus. When it’s 1AM and you have to get home from the Woodlawn subway station, the Number 34 takes you right from the station and whisks you past the cemetery and drops you off in front of one of the bars on Katonah Avenue so you can have another before you walk home.

      • Scott permalink
        January 31, 2015 9:25 pm

        Is FreddyP the gentleman of distinguished carriage who went berserk over a woman wanting his seat on the bus? If someone has a link to that thread, I’d like to see it again.

        Why are so many DF regulars so cunty to each other? I think the serleran guy is being a total shit to someone in every single thread I’ve ever seen linked here.

        I feel sorry for bloodymage and I hope nothing bad happened to his dog. 😦

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        January 31, 2015 11:58 pm

        boodymage skimps on the little details when he throws out a shocker, but he seems like a humane dog lover type, so I’m sure he found his dog a good home.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 31, 2015 11:56 pm

      I vaguely remember that. She was pregnant with one leg or something, and FreddyP was all like, “I was here first!”

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        January 31, 2015 11:59 pm

        If it was Troy Polamalu’s wife, I wonder if he would have given her the seat?

      • February 1, 2015 6:27 am

        @Scott

        http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?p=1437744#p1437744

        Actually, it was another poster and it wasn’t about giving up his seat; he demanded that a young lady give up a seat for him.

        FreddyP, who maintains he is a very chivalrous person, sympathized and stated he tries to prevent people from sitting next to him. Also, FreddyP likes to sit on people’s lunches.

      • Scott permalink
        February 1, 2015 7:37 am

        Like those guys have never carried a lunch that took up more than one seat.

        And I doubt very seriously that person has to fend off a line of suitors for the seat next to him.

        How do forum spergs make the most routine, excruciatingly mundane aspects of modern existence into grand fucking travails and morality plays? It’s a fucking bus ride, you dicks, it doesn’t have to be anything writ large. It already sucks for everyone, congrats on making it suck marginally more.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        February 1, 2015 8:57 pm

        Looks like Raggi is losing weight!

  51. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    January 30, 2015 5:52 pm

    Check out Blooey’s PbP game! After getting hit with paralysis, one of BLooey’s players asks “Does this mean I won’t be able to soil myself?”

    Blooey’s reply:

    “Naw, unless you had an urge beforehand.

    [Now me on the otherhand…]”

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=103&t=68261&start=60

    Fuck you, FreddyP! Blooey just keeps giving and giving to this community!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 30, 2015 6:07 pm

      That was classic Blooey! Even his PbP is a Bloofest.

  52. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    January 30, 2015 5:55 pm

    I need to know. What happened to Blooey’s wife in that Nissan? And why is he no longer a lifetime member of the NRA?

  53. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 30, 2015 6:53 pm

    Probably can’t afford his dues. 😦 And last time Blooey owned a gun, it kept jumping off the rack and putting it’s business end in his mouth.

    Heh heh, saw that Blooey comment about shitting himself. Nothing like a self deprecating DM. “Soiled undie smells to all PC’s!” If only somebody on that thread had commented “talk about a Stink In golonda, eh Bloodymage!” Sadly much of the forum community is unaware of the true wonders of Bloo.

    Oh, by the way. I hereby christen the gathering of us hardcore Blooey fans…The Bloommunity! Maybe we can get a festival similar to The Juggalos going funded on Kickstarter.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 31, 2015 5:42 am

      We should have Bloo Fest annually in northern Arizona, near Prescott. Polly Dragon would be proud.

  54. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 30, 2015 6:58 pm

    Oh, and Bloobot, I think you need your monthly servicing. You seem to have missed a snippet of what it is like hearing about your rousing adventure being described by Blooey:

    “Da orcs all fa down!”

    Still fucking more interesting than Mentzer’s in-game descriptions.

  55. Kent permalink
    January 30, 2015 7:45 pm

    Can you three morons go someplace else to analyse bloodymage’s posts, no-one else gives a shit.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 30, 2015 8:02 pm

      No.

    • bloodymage permalink
      January 30, 2015 8:04 pm

      Da orcs all fa down!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      January 30, 2015 8:05 pm

      Says the guy blathering on about his stupid movies.

  56. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    January 30, 2015 9:49 pm

    DFW area swingers’ club Eutopia was shut down. Blooey should start his own swingers’ club for geriatrics in Irving, Blootopia.

    • bloodymage permalink
      January 30, 2015 11:04 pm

      No money, no honey 😦

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        January 30, 2015 11:06 pm

        No screwy for Blooey 😦

  57. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    January 31, 2015 1:15 pm

    I’m posting this in a new thread, because I can see it receiving a lot of replies and don’t want it to get lost in the general comment scrum:

    I don’t understand the appeal of Blooey as a concept. Shaming the insufferable and humbling the undeservedly self-important I can get behind, but victimising Blooey just seems uncalled for.

    The fascination with Blooey has a couple of sources. The first is that the United States, for all of its wealth, has the shittiest societal safety net in the developed world. Blooey, being a disabled veteran, has free, albeit not-so-great medical benefits that most of us don’t have- he’s a mess, but he’s actually in a better spot than most of us would be in if we were to suffer a catastrophic injury or illness. That being said, though, he drops hints that imply that his medical treatment screwed him up, he makes references to addiction- painkiller abuse and addiction is a major problem in these here United States. The horror of Blooey’s situation is that most of us are one or two paychecks away from a similar plight, never mind a catastrophe.

    Another reason for the fascination is that Blooey is just another scam artist, albeit a failed one. Someone is now squatting on his old site (our host linked to it here), but Bloo had a “buy-in” scheme in which he’d hire staff on a “pay-to-play” basis- you pay him a grand to produce work for him, and he’ll give you a share of Polyhedron’s take. Fuck Bloo, as Uncle Harlan put it, “Pay the fucking writer!”

    We Americans love our scam artists, we love fake boobs, fake heroes, and fake patriots. It’s no surprise that the two biggest religions that originated in the ‘States, Mormonism and Scientology, were started by conmen. Bloo is a failed JMal, his overpriced products don’t move, His inept sales pitches are offensive to non-fans. Hell, even on friendly ground, his sales strategy boils down to saying that we should buy his products because it would be good for him, not because it would be good for us. I even bought some product but only the one dollar offering,,, it’s okay, but I don’t think his RPG material is better than anything I could come up with myself. Now that he’s dropped his prices down from their ridiculous levels, I may consider buying “the stink”, but it would be strictly a pity-purchase. Bloo may be pitiable, but he’s certainly no innocent.

    Another thing about Bloo is the fascinating combination of “too much information” and not enough information- CKDB has done a remarkable job as the true Bloo detective, but Bloo’s Clues are a tantalizing string of non sequiturs. We know that his wife died, and that she had a Nissan minivan, but we don’t know any particulars, not even if he were divorced from her at the time of her demise. We know that he served in the Navy and received a disability discharge, but we don’t know how it happened, or the nature of Bloo’s malady. We know he’s got at least one child, a “weirdo” son, but with no hint as to the nature of his son’s “weirdness”. There are some really fascinating conundrums here- why the hell has Bloo moved around so often, and for such distances… I’ve been in the same apartment for eight years, and the same postal code for seventeen. Americans tend to be rootless, but Bloo takes this to an extreme- and it’s not even like he’s being transferred by an employer.

    Another conundrum, why the hell did Blooey subject himself to a meeting with his unloved Mormons for three hours? Was his dog-walking leman a Mormon? Was he trying to cadge some <a href="http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865579566/LDS-home-storage-centers-tweaking-cannery-policy.html?pg=allfood supplies from the local stake leader?

    Bloo is a man of mystery, as well as being a cautionary tale. For myself, though, snark is my paramount concern, and Bloo’s nickname and his constant stream of one-liners lend themselves to lampooning. I’m all about doggerel and snide remarks, being a disciple of Doug.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 31, 2015 11:30 pm

      You make some excellent points, especially about the state of our veterans’ healthcare in the United States. It’s keeping bloodymage afloat, but just barely, and in many instances inadequately. It’s likely it has done more harm than good over the years.

      I think bloodymage is a Navy veteran of Vietnam, and he was probably a teenager when he was over there. He likely grew up in a typical, sheltered, isolated American community filled with Jesus, drive-ins and apple pie, and what he saw over there on shore leave or whatever blew his mind. Pre-teen prostitutes, readily available drugs, endless death to which you eventually become desensitized at least on the surface. The veterans of all the American wars I’ve known never talk about the real shit they’ve seen, and the guys who went to Vietnam saw the worst of humanity. It’s an unwritten rule they seem to live by – you don’t talk about it and you keep it inside. It’s probably why he gives so many tidbits, but no meaty details. At any rate, it isn’t healthy.

      I don’t think bloodymage is a con artist though. I think he’s misguided and a little clueless. In any real business (and I’m sorry but unless you are WotC or Paizo, RPG companies are a hobby endeavor and a sideline at best), you look for investors at start up, and bloodymage was doing just that with his inane requests for cash outlays, probably after reading some Dummies Guide to Small Business or something. He did nothing wrong (save for overestimating the potential of a business geared towards a small portion of an already small consumer base), he was just following a blueprint to “success” that is mostly a myth.

      Does bloodymage know how to work the System? Yeah, after all these years, he probably does. And I’d call it even, considering the System has probably screwed him over on more than one occasion. He’ll sit through three hours of Mormon bullshit just to get some groceries from the food pantry if he needs it.

      What I do believe and know to be true of bloodymage? He loves this hobby, certainly more than I ever have, as much as I enjoy it. And everyone says the key to success is making money doing what you love. It’s just a shame that that isn’t always true, one of those bullshit things they say to get young men to fight and die for in wars started by greedy fuckers who can’t be bothered to serve themselves or send their own children. Because if anyone deserves to live that dream, it would be bloodymage.

      72 hours clean and sober, no adultery. One day at a time.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 1, 2015 5:48 am

        I hope I didn’t come across as too harsh for old Bloo. I ascribe his actions more to naïveté than to malice- the guy seems to lack a bullshit detector, he has to if he thinks he can monetize this hobby. To one unsteeped in Blooeylore (the Tao of Bloo?), he comes across as spammy and shady. His RPGsite.net banning is classic Bloo.

        He’s in his early 60s, which leads me to believe he served in the navy in the immediate post-Vietnam era. If Kent ran the numbers, he’d come up with an enlistment date of 1949, but he’s an innumerate dumbass.

        The real puzzler is his recurring computer woes- it seems like he knows enough to be a tinkerer, just enough to screw things up. What is he downloading that causes his malware problems? Smart money says Mormon-themed porn. Even crazier, what’s with Facebook being a money pit? How does that even happen?

        He’s a fascinating case study, but I really wish him some degree of happiness before he exits this world… I may be a dick, but I’m not an asshole.

      • Scott permalink
        February 1, 2015 8:28 am

        “72 hours clean and sober, no adultery. One day at a time.”

        ~vibes

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 1, 2015 7:42 pm

        Got my computer back. Dunno if it’s blessing or a curse.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 31, 2015 11:49 pm

      And yes, I admit I’ve had a good laugh at the inane comments bloodymage throws our way, but it’s getting harder the more they come, because it’s so damn depressing that nobody (and I don’t mean dragonsfoot but his family and current caretakers) are doing nothing to address it.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        January 31, 2015 11:54 pm

        nobody is doing ANYTHING to address it. grrrrr.

  58. Kent permalink
    February 1, 2015 7:55 am

    In all seriousness are there any active blogs out there worth reading?

    Any forums?

    Any action on google+ beyond the self-serving Zak/Raggi?

    ==

    This is good. Is his blog just excerpts from his book?

    http://playingattheworld.blogspot.jp/2015/01/gaming-battle-of-five-armies.html

    • Sykirobme permalink
      February 2, 2015 6:30 am

      Yes, this is directly from his book:

      http://playingattheworld.blogspot.jp/2014/12/2014-year-in-review.html

    • Kent Speaks Into the Bag of Morons permalink
      February 2, 2015 8:56 am

      Middenmurk is back. Good in a TLDR kinda way.

      http://middenmurk.blogspot.ie/

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 2, 2015 8:03 pm

      One old codger listens to the talk and perks his ear at Corwin’s questions. After awhile he declares “Can’t say I was ever in those mountains but I knew somebody who was. Steeply sloped and a sheer drop-off on the backside. Difficult climbing. Fell beasts. He dint see dragons but he said to ware the wyverns and other thunder lizards. He said he saw carnivores often fighting over fresh kills.”

      No one has wealth here.

      • February 4, 2015 2:52 am

        That’s the saddest indictment of the OSR to date.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 3, 2015 9:17 am

      Cranky Old Gamer
      http://bloodymage.blogspot.com
      The one and only.

  59. Kent Speaks Into the Bag of Morons permalink
    February 1, 2015 10:08 am

    Bigby’s Lubed Fist, when I said, ‘shut up about Bloodymage because no-one outside your bag-home gives a shit,’ I was not inviting you to sentimentalise your obsession. The next time you tear up when you see yourself in the mirror save your angst for the high-school journal you still keep, you know – the one with glitter on the cover.

    And, FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN, you are such a teen-brained fuck up it won’t matter one onion whether you take drugs and sleep with your cousins or not. Your mind inheres in a sack of pus. Everything is known about you because you are predictable and unimportant even to yourself.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 2, 2015 8:02 pm

      We’ll say the orcs succumbed to your greater force. Treasure is 42gp, 13ep, 32sp and 357cp.

      8 orcs

  60. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 1, 2015 11:55 am

    All this weapon talk makes me want a game of intrigue, war, and politics set in a post-apocalyptic (post-kali yuga) mythic India with Guru’s leading schools based on the “martial clans” and their regional martial-arts. An Indian Fist of the North Star, if you will.

    o o

    An Indian Fist of the North Star, if you will.

    O O

    Whoa… Make! IT!! HAPPEN!!! Damn, that would be sweet- you can call it Fist of the North Campus. As a judoka, my favorite moment is at 5:13, that is one nicely executed hip throw.

  61. bloodymage permalink
    February 1, 2015 7:42 pm

    Don’t know how but I just got Norton Security – resource hog, on my laptop.

    Pluggin into my desktop, see if I can pull anything off.

    Damn computers. :blueangry:

  62. Then Kent Spat Into the Bag of Morons permalink
    February 2, 2015 12:01 pm

    I opened up the Bag of morons and spat in on top of Bigby’s Lubed Fist’s head. “Cos he is a very stupid lad, that’s why.

    • Kent's Rectum permalink
      February 2, 2015 2:13 pm

      Currently Drinking: Boatloads of cum mixed with anal lube and infused with blood from anal entry trauma.

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 2, 2015 7:55 pm

        Gonna take me forever at this rate. It’s a numbers nightmare!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 2, 2015 3:41 pm

      Semen? How did this semen get on my head?

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 2, 2015 8:04 pm

      Max hp at 1st level

      Unconscious at 0 hp, dead at -10

      Bleed at 1hp/rd from any wound resulting in 1/4 of your present hp total or at 0 hp

      Bind wounds stops bleeding and cures 1hp of damage. Fill your spell slots with memorized spells as usual

      Wizards use mana – give your Int score the same bonuses as Wis then roll 2d6 at 1st level and add the “bonus.” Succeeding levels roll 1d6. Fill your spell slots with memorized spells as usual but use mana to cast which means you don’t “forget” your spells. Cost is 1 mana point + 1 to cast a spell (it costs 1 mana to cast a cantrip)

      Clerics cast spells at the pleasure of their gods – depending on the god and her alignment there is a percentage chance of failure, the more capricious the god, the higher chance of failure

      Overcasting is possible but failure is likely. Four levels higher (the limit) has only a 99% chance of success, three 95%, two 90% and one level higher, 85%. Catastrophic failures are possible.

      🙂

  63. Then Kent Spat Thoughtfully Into YDIS's Eye permalink
    February 2, 2015 3:10 pm

    Hoachhh Thuuhhe!!

    • Neil Young, Dumb, and Full of Cum permalink
      February 2, 2015 4:58 pm

      You are like a spermicane,
      There’s cum in your eye.
      And you’re getting forced to gay.
      What the fuck’s up with this Irish dude?
      He wants to blow us, but we’re just not in the mood.

      • OABD permalink
        February 2, 2015 9:16 pm

        Oscar Anderson Likes this.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 2, 2015 8:05 pm

      Actually those rolls are DM rolls. Your character has no way of knowing.

  64. Then Whale-lips Kent Did Spit An Unmerciful Storm of Mouth Juice onto the Hitler's Moustache Growing out of the Side of Zak's Head. permalink
    February 2, 2015 3:15 pm

    Hoachhh Thuuhhhe!!

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 2, 2015 8:04 pm

      You are applying the Wis bonus to your Int. You do not swap them out. Take your Int score, apply the same bonus as Wis to it to figure mana. Say you roll a 7 on 2d6, and that’s it fr low Int MU that gives you 7 mana and the ability to cast that single 1st spell 3 times (1+1 to cast 1st level). Your cleric side can indeed perform any 1st level “miracle” without penalty, but must have the favor of his god with each spell.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 2, 2015 8:13 pm

      He calls himself whale-lips because many a lusty sailor has penetrated those lips with his harpoon.

    • February 2, 2015 10:18 pm

      Has sir been at the inferior whiskeys again?

  65. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 2, 2015 5:38 pm

    Looks like Lord Trufflebunny has made his move… the Shakespearean RPG was just a stalking horse for, yeah you got it, a fuzzy animals game:

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=69187

    Your move, Gargamel Juiblex!

    • February 2, 2015 7:51 pm

      I wish the guy well; maybe he’ll do a Charlotte’s Web supplement. He freely admits to using concepts from Bunnies & Burrows, so it’s not like he suffers from pundit-itis (although his blog does link to Arrows of Indra). I’d rather see him develop the Shakespeare idea, but to each his own.

      • February 2, 2015 10:29 pm

        I can’t say that I ever wanted to roleplay in Watership Down but I’m sure someone out there will be up for that shit, and it’s one of the rarities which I think niche enough to justify its a new rule set. The lad’s doing no harm.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 3, 2015 1:37 am

        I think I will adapt his ruleset for my ultra-grimdark fuzzy animal claw and planet setting, Catcosa.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 2, 2015 7:54 pm

      Gary threw the kitchen sink in with these rules.

  66. bloodymage permalink
    February 2, 2015 7:50 pm

    I should quit trying to learn new things. Gotta call my pro in again. I have to start over on my LA stuff, hopin’ to get ready for NTRPGCon but I’m no longer ready for anything. I just pretend.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 2, 2015 7:51 pm

      This is fckg useless! No game so I figured I try once more to organize this piece o’ s**t. Tried to delete Lucy, the mad fiance. Girl could sure have fun and she was picture crazy. So, I’m trying to cull my pics from backup, doing pretty well and then copies start springin’ up.

      Grrrrr, grouse, grouse, grrrrr :blueangry:

  67. bloodymage permalink
    February 2, 2015 7:53 pm

    Another failed save. Everytime I sit down at this electronic nightmare, something changes. Now I have a Yahoo Firefox homepage. I detest Yahoo more than Google.

  68. Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
    February 3, 2015 12:03 am

    I never played Legendary Adventures, but the magic items in the DMG-equivalent book look like the sort of things that would have gone into an AD&D DMG 2 (or UA 2) if Gary had still been around to do it. The DMG (and Pathfinder version also) just recycle the same tired magic items from edition to edition.

  69. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 3, 2015 11:36 am

    I’d like to say I’m Sad ol’ Kunt has to be a party pooper about Blooeymage. I was actually hoping we could get Kuntington as a guest speaker at our Blooeystock event. Middle aged man-children would probably love a symposium on one-eyed, stammering 70’s detectives who say “excuse me” a lot.

    As some of the lads said above, I never meant any harm to Blooey. I’m also the opposite, I want him to win. Though I’m fairly sure he is clueless about what goes on here, and might not understand it even if he did, I’ve held back some stuff. When I found his Facebook page (moneysink 😦 ) I did not share it cause it felt too personal, with his fiancee and son his only friends on it and all (maybe that was the moneysink. They charged him to add him).

    Blooey is a lot like that dorky, Asian “Shebang” guy from American Idol. He wanted to be famous as a singer, but found more fame being mocked and parodied in other media. And he loved the attention. I’d like to think that if Blooey found our good times here, he’d be delighted he was getting talked about, and ask us if we are interested in any product.

    And most important of all, it’s all so goddamn funny. Laugh the fuck out loud funny. I don’t know about any of you, but Blooey is bringing a little extra joy and light into my life. I love the little fella.

  70. Kent is about to SNEEZE permalink
    February 3, 2015 8:25 pm

    Kent is about to sneeze so he opens the bag of morons, hesitates and then decides instead to project snot into YDIS’S stupid face.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 3, 2015 9:08 pm

      Yo, Whale Lips, shut your blowhole!

      #whatkindoflosergiveshimselfanickname

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 4, 2015 8:26 am

      These days, I’m doing good if I get out of bed. Life sucks!

    • February 4, 2015 10:28 am

      It takes real creativity and substantial effort to make chargen and rolling dice more boring than they already are, but I have to hand it to you: you’ve done it.

    • Kent permalink
      February 4, 2015 12:38 pm

      When someone says they are “bored” I hear “stupid”, in exactly the same way that someone saying they are “offended” really means they are a “crybaby”.

      • February 4, 2015 7:38 pm

        When I hear someone mistake the meaning of simple words, I think to myself “learning disability” and I just pat them gently on the head because I “feel sorry” for them.

      • February 4, 2015 8:45 pm

        Don’t rule out the possibility that someone can be genuinely boring, cf. Blooey-bots.

      • Von-bot permalink
        February 5, 2015 12:53 pm

        Let me give Zak and Kent rim jobs today!

      • February 5, 2015 10:59 pm

        Case in point.

      • Von-bot permalink
        February 6, 2015 10:06 am

        http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/1203fe03f3e63a3b91a4b7ef7fb9311c
        I love coming to YDIS to let you all know how much I love slurping on Zak’s cock! I should start my own blog, Your Dungeon *I* Suck! Now who in the blOwSR wants a rim job?

      • February 9, 2015 9:06 am

        Christ almighty, you give ’em one fair review and it’s out with the cock gobbling. Which one of you humourless twats is this, I wonder?

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 10, 2015 7:11 am

        Have you contemplated the hideous possibility that Von-bot is a unique individual and this is his sole contribution to this, our utopia in flames?

      • February 10, 2015 10:01 pm

        Contemplated and rejected. Nobody would come all this way just to accuse me of chowing down on Zak’s todger… right?

  71. Kent smears peanut butter permalink
    February 3, 2015 8:35 pm

    Kent smears peanut butter on Scott’s girlfriend’s breasts. Why? Sexy and annoying.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 4, 2015 8:27 am

      I still hate these machines but one day, I’ll get a handle on things.

  72. Kent smears peanut butter permalink
    February 3, 2015 9:35 pm

    Hey! No one has said anything bad about T. Foster in ages, WTF?

    • February 4, 2015 2:48 am

      Has he done anything of note recently? I can’t say I stalk every potentially scornworthy person in the OSR – there just aren’t enough hours in the day and every so often I like to actually play Dungeons and Dragons, or do some work, or liberally apply Nutella to beautiful women.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 4, 2015 8:27 am

      I’m not sure how much longer I can continue this damned charade of mine. I’m a gamer with no game.

      • February 4, 2015 8:44 pm

        Which makes you the ideal forumite. NEXT!

  73. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    February 3, 2015 10:03 pm

    Here is one of Blooey’s upcoming games:

    Waste Hanoi Hattie

    game system: Advanced Revised Recon

    This is a game which takes place in Nam and the patrol will be Special Forces on an infiltration and assassination mission. The date is 14 June 1968.

    Mission Briefing

    We have information that Hanoi Hattie is broadcasting from Nong Yok, 12 miles (should be klicks, Bloo) across the DMZ. Your mission is to silence those transmissions and eliminate Hanoi Hattie.

    1. Method of Insertion: You will penetrate North Vietnamese territory from the ARVN camp near Tak Che on the ground on the moonless night on the 25th of June 1968, this coming Tuesday.

    2. Fire Support Availability: There will be no fire support available. This is a dark mission.

    3. Enemy Movement Information: The installation is guarded by PAVN. There should be no Charlie in the area. These regular boys don’t allow them near the facility.

    Watch Bloo show up wearing a helmet and sweaty fatigues, holding a big knife and chomping on a cigar, yelling “Cover me!” We picture him as maybe some cook’s assistant on a cutter ship, in the rear with the gear, but for all we know he could have been a Navy Seal/underwater demolition guy.

    Sign up is this Saturday!

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      February 4, 2015 6:36 am

      OK, it is now 14 June…and this coming Tuesday is 25 June…sounds like Kent-grade math.

      And the mission is to kill a woman. The darker side of Bloo emerges.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 4, 2015 7:47 am

      Oh, Blooey! It would be worse if the target were Laos Lucy, propagandist and dog trainer, and her cadre of vicious canines. It would be even worse than that if Whale Lips Kent were playing: “Is the target wearing pink socks?”

      The war is over, let it go,
      Blooey, get a bowl of pho.

      Yeah, I know I’m mispronouncing “pho”, but poetic license and all that.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        February 4, 2015 8:05 am

        Mo Pho, best get your Magic Afro dice from Honkey Goodman.

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 4, 2015 8:31 am

        You are all in a tent smoking some weed and watching a bootleg 8mm copy of the porn classic “Jigga Booty” you picked up on your last shore leave in Tokyo when the call comes in to move out.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 4, 2015 6:58 pm

        Okay, I’m rolling on the mango availability table.

        Double zero… fuck, tiger!

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 4, 2015 8:25 am

      No Love Me Long Time 😦

  74. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 4, 2015 7:08 pm

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=25705

    Man, oh man, this thread started years ago is a hoot! Just packed with non-Blooey goodness (and in case you are keeping count, it seems Bloo is starting a new thread basically every day to complain about the same shit. I think Bloobot is going to blow a fuse trying to keep up).

    Even 8 years ago Gene Gene the Clueless Machine was a fucking idiot. Sorry Gene, I was pretty uninterested in you, but this gem has earned you a fan!

    And go down a few comments and see Thorkhammer, years ago, say “I’m trying to cut down on my amount of posts.” Fuck, all this time later he’s still spewing out pointless posts on an almost daily basis. Way to get a life, you ridiculous old dipshit.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 4, 2015 8:16 pm

      Vosteran keeps bugging me.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 4, 2015 9:26 pm

        More than the irritable bowel syndrome?

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 5, 2015 9:48 am

        And yahoo bugs me too.

    • February 5, 2015 1:17 pm

      Well, that Dragonsfoot post is so dated you would have to have some kind of a forensic messageboard detective to figure out what was going on between moderation and private messages.

      Modern translation:

      #GENEWEIGELHEWASTHERE

      But on the other hand, I’m being pretty straight forward there in regards to one-on-one games getting weird which was too much for the uptight atmosphere there at the time.

      Modern translation:

      #GENEWEIGELFLAIL

      Its absolutely true unless you’re some kind of an earth pig with a B.O. that can knock a buzzard off a shitwagon.

      Modern translation:

      #GENEWEIGELISISEDYOURPILOT

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 5, 2015 9:51 pm

        Your flail fails to hit da orcs!

      • Sykirobme permalink
        February 7, 2015 8:35 am

        In a [bedroom/hotel room/car/parking lot/clearing in the woods/cathedral apse/kitchen/anywhere] with a woman having sex: GENE WAS NEVER THERE!

  75. bloodymage permalink
    February 4, 2015 8:17 pm

    I’m trying to use Firefox but I can’t even log into Mozilla. They send me a pw reset and it doesn’t work. I’m try to use Word but it’s squirrely (I’m not a gentle man, but I’m getting better… big deal). There’s just not enough time to do the things I wanna do.

    The place stinks, I stink and there’s nothin’ I can do about it. Life stinks. 😥

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 4, 2015 8:19 pm

      “The place stinks, I stink and there’s nothin’ I can do about it. Life stinks.”

      Is this from the introductory boxed text in THE STINK IN GOLANDA or something?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 4, 2015 8:48 pm

        “You meet in a shithouse…”

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 4, 2015 9:00 pm

      Who knew living on the dole was so time consuming?

      And what the fuck is this mental defective doing to his computer to fuck it up so royally as soon as he gets it back from the shop?

      And on a side note, I see Kent is still drunk, gay and lonely.

  76. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 4, 2015 9:00 pm

    Now here’s a cryptic new wrinkle in the Blooeysaga:

    you definitely reap what you sow…

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=69238

    Did Blooey kill his character? What’s the nature of this beef?

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 4, 2015 9:01 pm

      On second thought, maybe this person gave Blooey a grand, and never reaped the financial benefits of a Polyhedron buy-in.

  77. bloodymage permalink
    February 4, 2015 9:17 pm

    Went to the debt consolidation place, they were shut down. :blueangry: It was then off the the UPS store to ship my humidor. Then I went to the grocer, sure I’ve forgotten half of what I needed, but did a vital restocking. Now my nose is running, back hurts (pain meds haven’t arrived as well as a new med for my IBS). The chat game I set up on unseenservent got 0 response.

    Life 🙄 :blueangry:

    I ate a Boston Mkt dinner and gargled w/ a New Belgium Black Lager. And it’s only 6:16. I’m sinking farther and farther.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 4, 2015 9:19 pm

      Fucking cigars and craft beer? Man, welfare recipients make out nowadays! Thanks, Obama!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 4, 2015 9:21 pm

      Blooey has one friggin’ beer and the dragonsfart braintrust comes back with this: “alcohol isn’t a universal salve for all of life’s problems”. 😡

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 4, 2015 9:24 pm

      Wait, IBS – irritable bowel syndrome?

      YES!

      (That explains the stink too I guess.)

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 4, 2015 10:01 pm

        I think it stands for “Idiocy Bloo Style”. Once those meds come in, he’ll have that computer up and running in no time.

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 5, 2015 9:08 am

        And yahoo bugs me too.

  78. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    February 4, 2015 9:35 pm

    Blooey can’t get his game on! Blooey has been DENIED once again!

    http://unseenservant.us/forum/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=3841

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 5, 2015 9:08 am

      I detest Yahoo more than Google.

  79. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 4, 2015 10:50 pm

    This just in: RPGPundit downgraded to Uruguay’s second biggest rat

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 5, 2015 9:09 am

      I have a therapist. Got my soymilk yesterday. Now I’m futzing with a computer again.

      • RPGPundbot permalink
        February 5, 2015 1:07 pm

        They’re fairly similar; there are technical differences, but in fact even the word “zen” comes from the sanskrit word “Dhyana” which is the first the first basic attainment-state goal of Raja Yoga.

        (if you’re wondering the connection between the words: Dhyan became Chan in China then became Zen in Japan)

        Rather than take anyone’s word for it on the similarities/differences, I’d suggest you read either Vivekananda’s “Raja Yoga” or Crowley’s “Book 4, Part 1”. Of course, that just covers the Yoga side of things, but it sounds like you’re already familiar with Zen?

      • February 5, 2015 3:31 pm

        So turned on right now. Slap a Daniel Day Lewis face on that fucker and turn it loose!

      • RPGPundbot permalink
        February 5, 2015 6:54 pm

        So this is the official logo of theRPGsite Gaming Product of Distinction Award:

        And YOU can put it on your RPG product, on the cover, to show everyone that you’ve won a fancy RPG award!

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 5, 2015 9:47 pm

        Thanks, you’ve made a monkey out of me. Thought I could get little support from gamers in my twilight years.

  80. RPGPundbot permalink
    February 5, 2015 8:09 am

    I don’t want the Pundit’s Forum to turn into a large-scale “Off Topic” forum.

    That said, people can start any thread that is either about me or that they honestly think will be of a subject that interests me.

    At the same time, any thread I haven’t posted in at all yet after about 24 hours of its existence is a thread the Mods can feel free to close, on the assumption that it didn’t catch my interest. If it turns out that I was interested after all (and just didn’t get around to it), I can always re-open.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 5, 2015 9:11 am

      Well, this is not one of my favorite boards but I have product to sell, so I’m registering for an account.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      February 5, 2015 9:52 am

      Had to happen eventually. [Drinks heavily]

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 5, 2015 11:55 am

        I’m disabled and old and I no longer have the patience for pbp. I barely have enough patience for gaming any more but I said I’d die a gamer. 🙄

  81. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 5, 2015 2:20 pm

    Blooey has a game tonight on chat. Fingers crossed 🙂

    • RPGPundbot permalink
      February 5, 2015 4:14 pm

      I will not be responding to comments here today, please go comment over there if you want a response from me! In fact, please go comment over there anyways.

      And please feel free to reshare on the social media of your choice.

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 5, 2015 9:43 pm

        I and boredom are getting bored.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 5, 2015 9:45 pm

      Guess I need a life.

    • February 5, 2015 11:03 pm

      Have any of us ever actually ventured in to a Bloodymage Chat Game Extravaganza? I’m curious.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 6, 2015 12:52 am

        The unseen servant beckons… will you answer the call?

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 7, 2015 10:01 pm

        Thanks, you’ve made a monkey out of me. Thought I could get little support from gamers in my twilight years.

  82. Kent permalink
    February 5, 2015 6:40 pm

    ***BUSINESS ANNOUNCEMENT***
    **–Listen up you Screwheads–**

    Kent Hood and Wink Enterprises in partnership with Lamentations of the Flame Princess and The Hitler-Dick Zak Gallery have devised a money sharing scheme – we share your money – in the under-exploited GAME-DICE sector.

    Are you still using opaque dice? You stupid cunt, give me your dollars.

    Do numbers on dice bother you? They remind you of how shit at maths you were in school, no? Do you remember the days of “Oi you, shit-at-maths-guy! Why are you so ugly? Give me your sweets.”

    Listen to this testimony from an average (below average) gamer fondly known as YDIS, “I get headaches from Dungeons & Dragons. Why does gaming have to be so hard? I want to have fun. Where are all these numbers coming from? ‘Probability of this’ and ‘chance of that’. I’m not a rocket scientist don’t ya know? You did! Anyways, I hate numbers and I don’t like having to use my eyes. I want fun but I don’t wanna have to use my eyes and I don’t wanna listen to anyone neither and that’s final. I’m not a rocket scientist.”

    Kent Hood and Wink Enterprises, at great cost, transforms Gamescience gem dice into Gamescience gem dice with one black face. Numberless Dice!! Ha ha haaaa !!!

    Gamescience gem dice cost $30 a set. Kent Hood and Wink Enterprises (in partnership with Lamentations of the Flame Princess and The Hitler-Dick Zak Gallery) gem-black dice cost $500 a set, that’s $440 including worldwide postage.

    You dumb middle-aged OSR fucks with no worthwhile hobbies or pastimes and disgusting wives and girlfriends, give us your money to share now! Ha ha haaa !!!

    ***BUSINESS ANNOUNCEMENT***

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      February 5, 2015 6:50 pm

      Does this include the d30?

      Any stretch goals between the three of you?

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 5, 2015 6:52 pm

      You’ve come up with a dice mechanic even more retarded that Geoffery’s? Sláinte!

      You should start a Kickstarter campaign, a Kentstarter, if you will. I’m sure your legions of fans will shower you with cashola.

    • Kent permalink
      February 5, 2015 8:24 pm

      James Raggi just contacted me to remind me about the naming scheme we agreed on for my gem-black dice system:

      “Hello honey. Didn’t we agree, honey, to name this new product the ‘flame-horror’ dice system?”

      Then I replied:

      “No.”

      Then Hitler-Zak chimed in:

      “Gnaw bite chew nag nip titter lick yawn gnaw bite chew nag.”

      I replied:

      “Twelve times No Jew.”

      So, $440 for the gem-black dice system as Kent Hood and Wink Enterprises goes it alone.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 5, 2015 9:35 pm

        Damn, somebody swap lighter fluid for your poitín, gossoon?

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 5, 2015 9:44 pm

        I and boredom are getting bored.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 6, 2015 3:54 am

        Smart money is on absinthe, diesel maybe laudanum.

      • Kent's Rectum permalink
        February 8, 2015 11:27 am

        Don’t forget buckets of jizz!

  83. bloodymage permalink
    February 5, 2015 9:44 pm

    Was just reading “Eat This — Not That.” Fascinating.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 5, 2015 10:10 pm

      You should follow it up with the other books in the trilogy: “Pee This – Not That” and “Crap This – Not That”.

  84. Kent permalink
    February 5, 2015 10:09 pm

    Also it is time to spread more peanut butter on Scott’s girlfriend’s breasts. Why? Because she is worth it.

    • RPGPundbot permalink
      February 6, 2015 6:19 am

      I have to admit it has been extremely interesting watching some of the radical anti-islamists doing rhetorical cartwheels to try to react to this situation.

    • Kent's Rectum permalink
      February 6, 2015 12:13 pm

      Kent spread his chocolate fudge over some anonymous guy’s dick last night, IYKWIMAITTYD!

  85. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    February 6, 2015 11:01 am

    Man, looks like the DF mods nuked Bloo’s “Today” thread. I guess he has expended most of the goodwill capital he earned there.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 6, 2015 11:40 am

      It looks like all of Blooey’s “General Discussion” posts have gone (how do I put it?) blooey. The mods put the kitchen sink in the forum rules. Oh, well, the “Computer Idiocy” thread is still blooing along.

      Good thing “whale lips” Kent is starting up a forum, maybe Bloo will live long enough to go blooey all over it.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 6, 2015 12:12 pm

        FUCK YOU DRAGONSFART!!!! 😡
        JE SUIS BLOOEY!

  86. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    February 6, 2015 12:08 pm

    I gotta say, RPGPundbot isn’t as much fun as Bloo Bot. I mean, I enjoy reading Blooey’s original posts at Dragonsfart and elsewhere and then seeing them make their way here via Bloo Bot in clever and interesting contexts. I avoid reading anything RPGPundit John Tarnowski originally posts, so why would I want to see that pointless and ignorant Libertardian blathering repeated here?

    • February 6, 2015 12:23 pm

      Welcome to my world. Now that you understand boredom, the healing can begin.

    • RPGPundbot permalink
      February 6, 2015 2:25 pm

      Seriously, asshole? Do you think I can’t read? I suppose you think I might not stoop to reading the comments section of YDIS, but the fact that I’m quoting the grotesque and disgusting things they’re saying there right now should have been a clue to you.

      Maybe you didn’t read the part where they outed you as their boy?

  87. Kent's Bag of Morons permalink
    February 6, 2015 4:54 pm

    Bigby’s Lubed Fist
    FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN
    Captain Kirks Dick Blood
    Kent

  88. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 7, 2015 1:45 pm

    Perhaps the best Blooey of all:

    Sat Feb 07, 2015 1:13 am

    Well, I think I’m packed for AZ. Be good to get away this place for a while. Still got my problems but they won’t be here! Still makin’ slow progress, inches at a time but that’s my inefficient life now. No pain meds yet nor the new IBS medicine that’s supposed to be ordered. Just insured my car, $108.40 for 4 months ’cause my direct deposits won’t take hold for a couple o months. Got my new debit card but no money in Wells Fargo. My inefficient dryer w/ the irritating buzzer just screamed, so I’ll guess I’ll go see if my clothes are dry. Not. Figgers. Flight doesn’t leave ’til 11:20 tonight.

    Takin’ my laptop so I’ll be around crazy and unhappy as ever. 🙄

    It doesn’t take long for everything to go blooey:

    Sat Feb 07, 2015 9:08 pm

    Well, I didn’t make it to AZ. Dallas is a madhouse, should have left 3 hours before and it’s only 10 miles away! Then I find )after missing the flight) that I didn’t have a reservation. I curse my son for bringing me to this insane city. :censored:

    Blooey and air travel just don’t mix, and of course there are no details about his planned trip back to AZ. Once again, the Bloo mystery deepens, but never coheres.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 7, 2015 2:22 pm

      No Money (in Wells Fargo) 😦

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 7, 2015 3:32 pm

        No reservation 😦

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 7, 2015 9:53 pm

        And I missed lunchtime in this hell hole (no real loss) 😦

    • February 7, 2015 2:52 pm

      Hoping on a plane without his IBS meds was a recipe for disaster, anyways. Airplane shitters just ain’t built to handle that kinda action and 30,000 feet is no place to risk a blowout. Can you imagine sitting next to ol’ Bloo for a couple hours??

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 7, 2015 3:05 pm

        Heh, the Mile High Pile of Shit Club…

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 7, 2015 9:58 pm

        Still cranky. This stuff is killin’ me, but I keep doin’ it. Still no real help for me, but as long as I don’t move nothin’ breaks! Just did a big update to my site and I still hate these machines but one day, I’ll get a handle on things.

    • bad wolf permalink
      February 8, 2015 1:54 pm

      OH THANK GOD he turned his sig file back to “Death to all PC’s!”

      There was something incredibly sad about him changing it after some anonymous loser complained about it. Come on, Blooey! Die with your boots on!

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 8, 2015 4:35 pm

        I said I’d die a gamer. 🙄

  89. Kent permalink
    February 7, 2015 6:44 pm

    PrinceofNothing, where’s your blog?

  90. bloodymage permalink
    February 8, 2015 11:23 am

    Just tried to wade through Illustrator for Dummies. It’s confirmed. I’m a dummy.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 8, 2015 11:24 am

      Still can’t update this piece o crap. Run troubleshooter, Mr Fixit, step by step for the error.

  91. Kent permalink
    February 8, 2015 12:45 pm

    PrinceofNothing, where’s your blog?

    Im looking for good gaming blogs and can’t find any. I could do with Scott starting a new setting too and talking about books.

  92. Kent permalink
    February 8, 2015 1:13 pm

    Anyone here read Cormac Mcarthy? I don’t mean the movies.

    Blood Meridian is extraordinary for language and ideas.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 8, 2015 3:17 pm

      Right now, a lot of my gaming stuff is out since I’m trying to write, game and live at the same time. I’m living a hopeless life right now, trying to be normal, but I’m not. I’m broken all to hell and faking life.

    • February 8, 2015 4:06 pm

      Blood Meridian (which I just finished) is very rich, but a bit disturbing. Subtler than Ligotti, but with basically the same conceptual punch. Makes me appreciate The Road more, since it was written 10 years and one son later, with all of the perspective that lends an author (or a civilian). Gives one a deeper appreciation of how magnanimous HPL really was, despite his setbacks and situation.

      And oh, by the way, I’ll pay serious money for the Bloo crap to disappear. Give it a rest already.

  93. don't forget to skin bitches permalink
    February 8, 2015 1:34 pm

    Child of God is nice. Suttree is a little slow. What movies?

  94. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 8, 2015 3:25 pm

    Has anyone here read Bloo Meridian by Steve Willet? It’s a little disjointed, being structured as a series of short, context-free journal entries; and features an unreliable narrator, but the careful reader can piece together a bone-chilling tale of rootlessness and anomie in the modern American Southwest.

    • February 8, 2015 4:10 pm

      Yes. A fine piece of work, though overly Fine de siecle in places, but in a tongue in cheek sort of way reminiscent of Harlan Ellison in his Approaching Oblivion phase.

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 8, 2015 4:32 pm

        They take tons of research. For instance, I was interested in a horseracing game but had never been to a horse race. So I studied up on the jargon and the mechanics and came up with a game, the object of which is not to win the race, but make the most money at the end of the day.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 8, 2015 4:31 pm

      It’s written in OSRIC.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 8, 2015 6:42 pm

      Bloo Bot, you never fail to disappoint!

    • February 9, 2015 6:46 am

      I see Willet as a 21st Century Samuel Beckett. Bloo Meridian is an organic progression of Waiting for Godot and Krapp’s Last Tape. I wouldn’t be surprised if the working title for BM was Waiting for my Weirdo Son in this Accursed Hellhole :facepalm smiley:

      • February 9, 2015 7:43 am

        “Eat, pee, crap, rinse, clean, repeat.” – Beckett, “On the Logical Failure of Ascending AC.”

  95. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 8, 2015 5:34 pm

    OT, but what the fuck is wrong with the Grammy-nominating board? Darkey and the Keys didn’t get a single fucking nomination!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 8, 2015 6:41 pm

      Fuck that, where’s Blooey’s ENnie for Stink in Golanda?????

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 8, 2015 9:27 pm

        I hear it’s going to win El Pundejo’s “Product of Distinction” award.

  96. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 9, 2015 11:34 am

    To those who aren’t on the “Bloocrew” and don’t like our Blooey good times, all I can say is suck it up. Kind of like you have to with Beiber Fever.

    And I enjoy Punditbot. I really don’t want to look at that nimrod’s blog anymore than I want to his frienemy Zak Princess’s, but I like reading snippets of his ridiculous man-child ravings. Stuff like his reminds me of what a chickenshit hobby rpg’s are, and how deluded and desperate so many gamers are.

    • RPGPundbot permalink
      February 9, 2015 11:58 am

      That’s right: I am declaring Victory. The Pundit has won! I have beaten you, you shit-eating motherfucker.

  97. Kent permalink
    February 9, 2015 1:46 pm

    We haven’t spoken enough here about what a PROUD-TO-BE-LOW-BROW-COS-IM-STUPID-ANYWAY cunt YDIS is. Not enough to my liking anyway.

    My psycho insight is that when YDIS was young, one day some teacher made a mistake and told YDIS he was smart. Maybe she lied to cheer him up because he was an ugly kid. Maybe she performed a kindness because the night before a guy was unkind enough to smear peanut butter on her breasts and then say “I don’t like the taste of peanut butter much ya dumb broad.”

    So being praised the dumb kid YDIS works real hard to shine like the smart boys (like me even though I never had to work at all. lucky for me). So he busts a gut looking for more praise but it doesn’t work out. He’s plain dumb. But for the rest of his life he RESENTS smart folks. ‘Why am I a stupid fuck?’ he says over and over.’It takes so much effort and I still never contribute anything worthwhile to humanity.’ And finally, ‘I know, I’ll be a misanthrope. I can pretend to be cool and hide my dull brain-power behind misanthropy like those guys who take cover behind long hair.’

    That’s what I think.

    • February 9, 2015 3:12 pm

      Whatever intelligence, we’re all sad, sad dudes who still post here. Fuck highbrow. Fuck lowbrow. Both are better than middlebrow wankers who think reading Shakerspears makum me specalz. Sorry Kent, the schtick is as bland as Blooey. Go count some shit, ya poof.

      • Kent permalink
        February 9, 2015 3:32 pm

        I will be analysing Nancy-boys with my psycho insight next week if you would care to wait.

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 9, 2015 6:06 pm

        Well, I don’t really like the Irish because they smell like stale cabbage and old beer, but I guess they are people too.

      • RPGPundbot permalink
        February 9, 2015 6:43 pm

        He’s not a mason, he has been Excluded (which is pretty much the worst possible punishment we give these days, now that our cooler penalties are “symbolic” only; which means that any and all obligations toward him are broken and he has been declared Totally UNFIT to be admitted into the society of men who prize honour and virtue), so you can say he was a mason. But wow, seriously, bringing up the subject matter of conspiracy theorists and nutcases (“He was a mason! He was working for the NWO! That proves he must have been an left-wing atheist satanist and not a christian right-winger!”)…. I mean really, the guy was also apparently a gamer too, is that relevant?

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 9, 2015 5:50 pm

      http://bloodymage.blogspot.com

  98. Kent permalink
    February 9, 2015 7:03 pm

    OK. YDIS is a very stupid blog. The stupidest members by far are:

    Bigby’s Lubed Fist
    FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN
    Captain Kirks Dick Blood

    These are also the most frequent contributors which doesn’t help. Beyond this, Bigby’s Lubed Fist cuts irrelevant posts from Bloodymage on dragonsfoot for some unknown reason in addition to being a very stupid guy.

    YDIS does nothing about this because he has no control here. He contributes nothing.

    Anywhere else Bigby’s Lubed Fist posting irrelevant posts from Bloodymage on dragonsfoot would be destroyed. But here, there are too many fearful faggots reading and not commenting, which doesn’t bode well for a free speech OSR blog (which has nothing to do with YDIS who is a moron).

    My advice is to oppose the morons:

    Bigby’s Lubed Fist
    FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN
    Captain Kirks Dick Blood

    or at least ignore them.

    And remember YDIS maintains this ‘free speech’ blog out of vanity. He contributes nothing and can’t tell the good from the bad.

    • Kent permalink
      February 9, 2015 7:30 pm

      YDIS has many readers but almost no commenters. Don’t be such fearful fags. Express your views anonymously. Is that frightful?

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 9, 2015 7:34 pm

      Ah, yes, here’s the Dunning-Kruger poster boy with a masterpiece of psychological projection worthy of an IMAX theater operator. Poor, wee Kenty, with no other place to comment on the web, he comes here with his cri du cul (sic). What’s the matter, gossoon, did the nice people at the weird fiction forum ban you for referring to C.L. Moore as a “no-talent cunt with a stupid cunt in her vagina”?

      No Kentloaf 😦

      Regarding cut-and-paste, how about practicing what you preach? That stupid “peanut butter” bit was hackneyed the first time around, and you’ve been beating it like the knacker you are. This betrays your substandard grasp of the English language. Sure you can bang out a blog post after a week’s worth of agonizing lucubrations, but you fall flat whenever you attempt anything extemporaneously.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 9, 2015 8:09 pm

      Now will you please BUY SOMETHING so I can keep the lights on!

    • February 9, 2015 10:05 pm

      The Bloobot is overused and tiresome; the Pundbot is only entertaining because Pundit himself is risible; the Vonbot doesn’t even have the courtesy to abuse my own words and resorts to the same HURR GHEY that whoever it is could just as easily utter from their own whalish lips. All three are foolish twattery. Must be OSR silly season – and yet no, for news is that 119 people have funded Venger’s Kickstarter with $500 to spare. 119 mugs think a droning fringe occultist with less charisma than the stodgy crap I took this morning has any ‘secrets of the dungeon masters’ to offer. If I want to learn better DMing I will vacate my lofty throne and be a humble player before the two or three DMs of my own acquaintance who I know for sure can do a better job than me.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 9, 2015 10:27 pm

        When are you going to throw your hat in the ring and make a pile of cashola? You’re bound to come up with a better idea than Brandoch Durrhurr’s idiotic dice bullshit.

      • February 9, 2015 10:38 pm

        I don’t believe that my “how to build a setting with some degree of elegance and insight” advice would fill a pamphlet and I have no desire to churn out an uninspired and generic “this is my campaign world I hope you like it” sort of affair – not least because I prefer to run someone else’s world through my own lenses. And I don’t have a skimpy set of house rules that I want to publish as the bedrock to a product line, so… what exactly would you have me do?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 9, 2015 11:09 pm

        For your refusal to act like a grifter, I dub thee Honest Von. No failed kickstarters or cynical appeals to religion here. Pax vobiscum.

      • February 10, 2015 12:14 am

        Why is the kickstarter surprising? zak’s new book is the best thing ever produced, EVER PRODUCED.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 10, 2015 7:19 am

        Von, you can always write an adventure or a sourcebook full of shit people can use if you feel like giving the grift train a chance or you need like 50 bucks and there is no easy way to obtain it.

        Zak’s Red and Pleasant Land probably isn’t bad and might even be good, it’s certainly creative, but the best thing ever is such a ridiculous hyperbolic statement for a campaign setting that is likely to see such limited use. It always struck me as odd that morons who qualify something as the graetest gaem evar never bother to qualify why it deserves such an august position and which contenders it had to eat and kill.

      • Master Blaster Belial (Timotheus for short) permalink
        February 10, 2015 7:49 am

        Wow, I missed the Vonbot. Congratulations, Von, you are officially Somebody now. Immortalized in the YDIS Holy Trinity of spambots, thy name draws erections from even the most timid adherents of the blOwSR henceforth.

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 10, 2015 4:06 pm

        Things getting worse and worse.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 10, 2015 4:10 pm

        You hang in there, Blooey! You will ALWAYS have a home at YDIS!

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 10, 2015 4:14 pm

        Drop this thread please.

      • February 10, 2015 10:13 pm

        @ i don’t want to live etc.

        Venger’s Kickstarter is surprising because I can’t believe that anyone who’s ever watched one of his boring Cthulhu videos (in His house at Rl’yeh dead Cthulhu sleeps through the mumbling white noise of His cultists?) could believe that he has the chutzpah to DM ‘like a baws’. He may be an adequate referee for all I know but serious Mastery of Games takes something Venger ain’t showin’.

        I’m not sure why Zak even matters to this conversation. The lens of my contempt has moved on.

        @ Prince of Nothing

        Not being a great one for modules or pre-done adventures myself I’d feel less than qualified in producing such a thing for the wider market. I could maaaybe barf up a guide to world-building without being a giant sad fun-killing wet blanket about it. Maybe. Do you think there’s a market for “for fuck’s sake stop worrying about simulating trade economy and counting arrows!” in the OSR?

        In re. Best Game Ever – set a low standard and the superlative becomes an easy stretch. Most material for most RPGs is uninspiring stuff for the uninspired – something to be reached for when your creative juices are low or dried to powder but you still want to get a game in. A competently executed core rulebook should render 90% of supplementary materials obsolete by demonstrating a process rather than hawking a range of products, but since everyone seems to think they should make a living as Designers of Games everyone insists on doing a shite job and following it up with more shite. Anything to keep up the illusion that Designers are Special People with Secrets who Imagine better than the likes of YOU, peon…

      • February 11, 2015 6:04 pm

        In a world where RaPL is the best thing ever, it’s not very surprising that venger is the north texan rapper in white face of dming. in short, RaPL being the best ever is as likely as venger secretly being Slim Thugga (motherfucka’). It’s not really surprising at all, given the aforementioned accolade.

  99. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 10, 2015 11:29 am

    Really, Hewhohasfuckeduphair’s little Alice/Dracula setting seems written more for giggling goth girls than for any kind of serious gaming. Over hyped much like his almost non-existent porn “career.” it is actually a fairly daft concept. Any guy who finds it appealing is a typical momma’s boy gamer half a fag. Why don’t you go and mash-up Frankenstein with The Phantom Tollbooth, ya wanks..

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      February 10, 2015 1:08 pm

      As far as I can tell this is the only place still talking about a Red & Pleasant Land. Like most “OSR” or small-press products it floated for about a month before become a sinker.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 10, 2015 2:07 pm

        Blame Von-bot for bringing it up again, we forgot about it too.

        That was kind of my point. It might(i have only browsed it and have not read anything else by Zak other then the DFD rewrite, so i will withhold judgement) be well written or funny or have unusual art or what have you but when it comes down to it its very much a novelty piece, the OSR equivalent of a kitchen table book.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        February 10, 2015 2:42 pm

        Man, I hope that is true. have not seen anything being mentioned of it on Retard’s Foot. Any of the old fools at the Kunts and Kreeps Alehouse been yapping about it at all? They seem like a lot that would be taken in by Zak’s phoney Baloney bullshit.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 10, 2015 3:33 pm

        Prince, what’s your take on the DFD update? Is it more than just a delichwayfication? The few reviews that I’ve read fail to impress me… changing a sleeping chthonic giant to a slumbering chthonic god only seems original to someone who has never read any mythology, or any “Mythos” fiction.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 11, 2015 5:53 am

        My take is going to be dragging a few asterisks behind it, since i have not read either Lichway(White Dwarf?) or old DFD. But for what it’s worth, i heard they mostly expanded upon the original. Most of the stock monsters have been replaced with unique monsters, the dungeon rewards exploration, the ticking clock effect is original(or is it? I have not read Lichway), it actually has interesting shit to loot, it’s very atmospheric, nice mapping etc. Bit on the dickish side, but it’s Raggs(and the dickishness falls more along the lines of Hammer of the Gods, Three brides, Tower of the Stargazer or Weird New World Dickishness).

        We rip on Raggs for writing goofy shit or ripping shit off, and that might be deserved in many cases, but new DFD deserves mostly praise. It’s fairly easy to integrate into an existing campaign, but it never feels generic. If you know of a better OSR-made adventure i would be very interested to check it out. RPL is overhyped artsy-fartsy shelf-hugger fluff but new DFD is something i would pay a reduced tariff for, and a notch on the OSR is-not-completely composed-of-shit side.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 10, 2015 4:09 pm

      Middle aged fatbeards that buy and play games like this, or Maid, or Panty Explosion, even Carcosa, should be on a government watch list.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        February 10, 2015 5:00 pm

        Does that include Grim Jim’s Cthentacle?

        Asking for a friend.

    • February 10, 2015 6:27 pm

      If I want to proclaim a faction based product, that tries hard to be “weird” fantasy, as the best ever, then I have planescape and fuck anybody who claims otherwise.

    • February 10, 2015 10:18 pm

      I’m amused by the company of goth girls, giggling or otherwise, and I wouldn’t underestimate their capacity for Serious Game Business.

      I also don’t understand why wanting to have women around makes me even half a faggit. Or is this one of those ‘Real Men prefer the company of other Real Men and do Manly Things in their Man Caves’ things… in which case I’ll leave the sweat lodges and penis measuring to Men who don’t like Ladies. Isn’t there a word for that sort of chap?

  100. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 10, 2015 5:18 pm

    I know there is a movement for less Blooey, but this seems significant for The Bloocrew. Checking the “Nuthin’ Right” thread, it appears Blooey only just learned this week that his site has a squatter. It’s been what, like three months?

    Yeah Yeah, we know Bloo is shit with computers. When he starts up Word he thinks there’s a bug cause the page is blank. But man, your beloved company website turns into a site about poker and it takes you weeks and weeks to notice? Sigh! 😦

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 10, 2015 6:34 pm

      Well, I guess I can ‘splain a little bit. Tryin’ to get my websites back and they had been taken. Why a Frenchie would want polyhedracon.com is beyond me, so I registered it w/ a .us. My polyhedrongames. com is under the control of a WP guy and I just told him to move the site to HostGator and use my content.

  101. Kent permalink
    February 10, 2015 7:42 pm

    New D&D forum, heh heh.

    Aha ha ha, ahem heh he he, aha ha ha ho ho.

    http://ruinsofmurkhill.proboards.com/thread/2/rules-guidelines-polite-good-time

    • Kent permalink
      February 10, 2015 7:43 pm

      Oh boy oh boy oh boy.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 10, 2015 9:06 pm

      Well, this is not one of my favorite boards but I have product to sell, so I’m registering for an account.

    • February 10, 2015 10:20 pm

      “Please do not Smite anyone”.

      Oh, you poor toothless creature. You’ll learn.

      Now, Kent, are you cruising for a ban within two weeks or four?

    • Master Blaster Belial (Timotheus for short) permalink
      February 11, 2015 9:35 am

      That is our good buddy, the Perilous dreamer! What a cocksucking maroon. The irony meter just reset itself when he tells others to play nice, after all the threads his temper tantrums closed at Dragonsfart.

  102. Kent permalink
    February 10, 2015 7:52 pm

    Any web techies out there? There is something wrong with my browser (chrome). Every time I visit the odd74 forum all of the posts are accompanied by insanely childish avatars.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 11, 2015 9:16 am

      Pluggin into my desktop, see if I can pull anything off.

      Damn computers. :blueangry:

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 11, 2015 9:18 am

      Gotta call my pro in again. Eat, pee, crap, rinse, clean, repeat. I need remote cleaning by a discerning eye.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 11, 2015 10:22 am

        That sounds like one of Kunt’s sexual fantasies…

  103. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 11, 2015 12:28 pm

    I was always wondering, in what way is DFD like the Lichway? I know there is some later version that pretty much left out White Dwarf monsters (Man-Beasts I think), but the original was great. The twist was The Sussurrus, a creature that farted out noise that kept undead immobile. If you killed it, the hundreds of undead all wake up and go apeshit.

    The twist was not the best part even (and many parties would not bother the creature so the twist generally does not get revealed). There were also some interesting NPC’s squatting in the place, and it was a really nicely designed one level dungeon. Cool little seaside setting. Anyway, I assume Raggs had a similar “undead wake up” mechanic?

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 11, 2015 1:53 pm

      Rags even used the word “sussurrus”, though his version was a sessile shrub that had to be hacked down in order to access the bulk of the dungeon, thus penalizing exploration. It’s a typical Raggian screw-job, better not to even enter the dungeon in the first place.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      February 11, 2015 2:59 pm

      Yup, undead wake up mechanism is the same. Strange undead larva thing/compressed time monster. Lots of great npcs also. Albino tarantulas and all. DFD rewards exploration until it doesn’t, at which time you need to gtfo. There is plenty of treasure shit to be found however. From whence, other then monolith, doth his reputation for screwjob dungeons cometh? (we can count green devil face magazines but i wont if you wont).

      • February 11, 2015 3:46 pm

        I was going to review new DFD, but in the end there just isn’t much to say. Zak’s schtick is more of the usual: he did some word-replace to turn the undead-sleeper-thing into something a little more goth, but the mechanics are identical. He does love those word-replacement exercises. Adds in some unique undead that, conceptually, I assume are mostly pilfered from a death metal album. New artwork by Jez Gordon is that reverse technique where you start with a black page and draw in the white, so it comes out super dark, which he’s successful at but it’s mostly impenetrable. Maps are redone so they don’t look completely silly, as the originals did, but add dopey icons that clutter shit up.

        Eh.

      • Kent permalink
        February 12, 2015 3:01 pm

        Also keep an eye on my shitty minimum wage blog because I will be doing some quick fire campaign setting posts this month and my shitty blog has one tenth the readers of the AMAZING TAO OF DND who must be close to the godlike ZAK blog.

        Don’t think for all my humility that I think those guys are more interesting. They have no mathematics, they have no P – O – E – T – R – Y.

  104. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    February 11, 2015 3:30 pm

    Can’t wait until Blooey’s chat game tomorrow night at 6pm Central!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 11, 2015 3:31 pm

      I’m gonna show up and be just like that guy who comes to your house and clogs your toilet – HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?!?!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 11, 2015 6:17 pm

      Shouldn’t he concentrate on the multiple PbP games he seems to be trying to run? I mean, there’s a serious transportation problem on the Road to Janceton… and he wonders why nobody seems to rise to his bait, or ‘bate, as the case may be.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        February 11, 2015 6:54 pm

        But…da orcs a phel downd. Wasn’t that the end of the campaign? Singe a few gnolls and put several orcs to sleep and the world is safe once more?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 11, 2015 7:31 pm

        I was hoping that Gene would make a cameo with his flail, sort of a “boss” fight.

        Gene needs to one-up Venger by Kickstarting “Flail LIKE A BOSS”.

    • Scott permalink
      February 11, 2015 9:44 pm

      How difficult is it for someone to actually just go play in one of his games? I have no interest in this poor guy other than feeling bad for him (and more so, his dog), but god, if you’re that into it, just go play in one his fucking games, you pussies. He’d like it and it might be fun. This isn’t Cannibal Ferox, there’s no danger, stop micro-analyzing his actual fucking bowel movements and play a game with him, you mincing above-it-all hipster faggots.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        February 12, 2015 4:40 pm

        And buy some product!

  105. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    February 11, 2015 5:05 pm

    Did Venger Ass Nasty steal his latest shit book idea from the Angry GM much like he plagiarized his Necronomicon book from Wikipedia and Dan Harms?

    http://angrydm.com/2013/04/adjudicate-actions-like-a-boss/

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 11, 2015 5:08 pm

      Awwwwww!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 11, 2015 6:06 pm

        That was heartwarming and hilarious. Forget the “DM like a boss” schtick, he needs to put out “Venger’s guide to raising babies”, maybe follow it up with “Cthulhu for Cthids”.

      • Scott permalink
        February 11, 2015 9:54 pm

        That cover’s a Whelan from the same Del Rey line that Obituary used for its “Cause of Death” album. And another metal band, Cirith Ungol, probably sold half its records because of their licensed Whelan “Elric” album covers. I guess what I’m trying to say is stop messing with that guy, he’s holding a baby.

      • Master Blaster Belial (Timotheus for short) permalink
        February 12, 2015 7:34 am

        Yeah, but it might not be his baby.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        February 12, 2015 4:42 pm

        Wait, if that’s Venger Jr. then that weird-ass dating video he made actually worked? Which one is the guy who does the “rune magick” again?

  106. Kent permalink
    February 11, 2015 6:04 pm

    It is remarkable how many douchebags side with the corporate sledgehammer over copyright issues. I didn’t realise Jack was a half-wit.

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=31610

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 11, 2015 6:24 pm

      LOL! I didn’t realize the Tea Party Libertardians at RPGShite were really socialists down with redistributing Hasbro’s corporate wealth and intellectual property just like Obama!

      Also, I’m reasonably sure Jack can still do basic math better than Kunt even if Jack is in the English department.

      #KentIsGay

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 11, 2015 6:30 pm

        HA! Brilliant, FotU! This is why I love YDIS. It really is a collection of the smartest people in the RPG hobby!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 11, 2015 6:56 pm

        Kent has a serious case of Jack-envy. Jack actually knows what he’s talking about when he discusses literature, he has told off forum proprietors without getting banned, and he has released some interesting gaming content. Poor Kent, his litany of failures mirrors Jack’s litany of successes.

      • Kent permalink
        February 11, 2015 8:17 pm

        I know now what you lot remind me of …

        … A pew of stupid old aunts masquerading as aggressive homos.

    • Kent permalink
      February 11, 2015 6:51 pm

      You two are excitable lover-boys. No-one ever knows what the fuck you are talking about, but what the hell, happy Valentine’s Day lover-butts.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      February 11, 2015 7:51 pm

      http://www.therpgsite.com/showpost.php?p=814654&postcount=8

      Fucking guy can’t spell or construct a coherent sentence but he’s gonna be a pedant…

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 11, 2015 8:00 pm

        Scratch a pedant, reveal a dumbass.

        e.g. Kent

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 11, 2015 8:17 pm

        JibbaJibba lost me at copy”write”. He’s as incompetent at the law as Kunt is at basic math!

      • Xartan Tsathoggua permalink
        February 11, 2015 9:00 pm

        I think you mean maths.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 12, 2015 1:21 pm

        I forgot “Math” is a five letter word when Kunt counting. And poofster British Isles speak.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      February 12, 2015 1:50 pm

      Does that GameDaddy dude post anywhere else? I sense a rich seam of madness to be explored.

  107. Kent permalink
    February 11, 2015 9:22 pm

    I know now what you lot remind me of …

    … A pew of stupid old aunts masquerading as aggressive homos.

    Heh heh.

    • Scott permalink
      February 11, 2015 11:09 pm

      Does this happen?

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 11, 2015 11:20 pm

      Either Kent fails a Turing Test, or he’s been replaced by a bot.

      Kent permalink
      February 11, 2015 8:17 pm

      I know now what you lot remind me of …

      … A pew of stupid old aunts masquerading as aggressive homos.

      Kent permalink
      February 11, 2015 9:22 pm

      I know now what you lot remind me of …

      … A pew of stupid old aunts masquerading as aggressive homos.

      Heh heh.

      He was a king here once, now he’s a poor substitute for bloo-bot.

  108. Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
    February 11, 2015 9:23 pm

    Fun fact: Tsathoggua’s real name is just Sathoggua but when he knocks on the door and people say “who is it?” he replies, “Tis Sathoggua.”

  109. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 11, 2015 11:35 pm

    Fuh-huh-huck, out of morbid curiosity, I looked up Kent’s One Page Suckdungeon, and it features, get this, a stinkcock fungus (known to straight dudes as a stinkhorn). Looks like old Bloo isn’t the only one with a stink dungeon out there, only his is a thousand times less freudian.

    #youcantmakethisshitup
    #kentlikesthemunwashed

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 12, 2015 1:18 pm

      Leave it to Kunt to fantasize about a phallus shaped cactus.

  110. kingofalltherotten permalink
    February 12, 2015 11:56 am

    Behold! A new, shiny and unique snowflake! A bit of a twaddling zak clone, but he’s all about gender equality, LotFP and RaPL

    https://glengreentoad.wordpress.com/

    • Master Blaster Belial (Timotheus for short) permalink
      February 12, 2015 12:13 pm

      Sounds like a typical bastard.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 12, 2015 1:17 pm

      “Bridge the gap between punk and tabletop role playing games. This includes being all-inclusive to all genders, races, etc; As well as smashing down society’s view of a “fantasy hero” (eg. white macho bullshit knight man) and other stereotypes presented in roleplay gaming. ”

      “I mainly run Lamentations of the Flame Princess with Logan Knight’s Welcome to Corpathium rules and I’ll be throwing in some stuff from Zak S’s A Red And Pleasant Land shortly as well.”

      These two things do not go together…

      • kingofalltherotten permalink
        February 12, 2015 1:51 pm

        B-I-N-G-O
        I didn’t know that society had a view of players/characters played other than we are oddballs. And who cares what others think anyway?
        I have had female players at the table for over twenty seven years, in different places and different games, people of all colors have sat at my gaming table and nobody ever considered it weird/inappropriate/etc and we weren’t trying to be PC, it was just about including your friends.
        Many years later add the SJP and zakthehack and his lowbrow crowd and problems that were never there crop in order to make people feel guilty or that they were doing it wrong? Fuck that. Get some people over and roll dice.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      February 12, 2015 2:03 pm

      Nothing excites me less then the promise of rule-tweaked social-justice punk loftp with RAPL thrown in for good measure. DY DND indeed. And i discovered this:

      http://www.lastgaspgrimoire.com/.

      What is this? This thing. What is it? Is this the promise of a brave new rpg future? His drawings are okay but there are naked fat chicks and exploding tables and there is a line between useful shit and idiotic meta dice-rules of interest only to the autistic and the schizophrenic.

      • February 12, 2015 2:49 pm

        “…of interest only to the autistic and the schizophrenic.”

        Then I suppose the OSR is the target demographic.

        I’m willing to give the blog the benefit of a doubt.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        February 12, 2015 4:48 pm

        Yes. This. More of this, please. Finally some stuff I can use in my games.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 12, 2015 5:52 pm

        More illustration work for Pernicious Albion…

        Alright, now we know who Pundejo’s going to rip off for his next project!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 12, 2015 5:47 pm

      Glen Greentoad? Does this mean that Glenn Greenwald has an OSR blog now?

  111. Kent permalink
    February 12, 2015 2:23 pm

    Joe Rogan

    MANdatory

    MANcrush

    http://podcasts.joerogan.net/podcasts/billy-corben

  112. Kent permalink
    February 12, 2015 2:46 pm

    How much do you pay for your bottle of whiskey or scotch?

    I can’t drink beer anymore it tastes like weak apple juice and I drink whiskey like regular folks drink wine. Live and let live. That’s what I say.

    Anyway, Jameson and Black Bush can be got here for €25/$29. Jim Beam and Teachers for the same. But I read online that Glenlivet and Glenmorangie can be got for about the same in the states, but costs €45/$50 here. Fuck that what a waste. Inspiration and insight and artistry is wasted on Americans as all hoodlums.

    I demand the best whiskeys at the cheapest prices, with all my character.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      February 12, 2015 5:30 pm

      Kunt, stop trying to make friends here you stupid loser. Nobody wants to be your friend. That’s why you get drunk, go on gaming forums, and get bitter that almost everybody but you can scrape together a face to face game. Why don’t you go cavort in Blooey’s chat game? He wants you to be his friend. Buy some product that has nothing to do with booze or cheap dogging tranny handjobs in the car park, why doncha. Give back to something instead of being a fucking drain on your countries resources.

      • Kent permalink
        February 12, 2015 6:35 pm

        Can’t you just answer the question.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 12, 2015 11:41 pm

      Kent, you are a mathematician so you should know to include the size of the bottle. I can get a liter of Jamison’s Irish Whiskey for about $35 US with tax.

    • February 12, 2015 11:47 pm

      Don’t look at me. They’ll burn my Mebyon Kernow membership card if I drink anything but St. Austell ales and scrumpy with bits of meat in it. One might be able to justify a nice Navy rum (Lambs or something of the ilk) but whiskey or whisky are for a different class of Celt.

  113. Kent permalink
    February 12, 2015 3:02 pm

    Also keep an eye on my shitty minimum wage blog because I will be doing some quick fire campaign setting posts this month and my shitty blog has one tenth the readers of the AMAZING TAO OF DND who must be close to the godlike ZAK blog.

    Don’t think for all my humility that I think those guys are more interesting. They have no mathematics, they have no – P – O – E – T – R – Y.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 12, 2015 11:42 pm

      If it’s any consolation, I like you better than Zak Princess or Tao Shit.

  114. Are OSR Book-Trailers a Thing Now? permalink
    February 13, 2015 12:44 pm

    Monstrous Manuel has released a book trailer in anticipation of releasing his book.

    http://monstersandmanuals.blogspot.com/2015/02/yoon-suin-trailer_12.html

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 13, 2015 3:32 pm

      “An error occurred. Please try again later.”
      Well, if you can’t even get the trailer out properly, I’m sure the suckdungeon will be a complete clusterfuck too….

  115. February 13, 2015 1:31 pm

    Project Update #49: City State of the Invincible Overlord by Judges Guild

    Hello Backers,

    There going to be a lot to this update, so I apologize for that. This is going to be visible to anyone (the last few have been for Backers only) so I want to bring everyone up to speed.

    Campaign Map Progress:

    For those that don’t know, the first 10 maps have been released electronically. We have the first 5 or so in print. We’ve had to halt progress on the maps until February because not enough people bought into the Miniatures (we lost about $16k on those). We didn’t realize this until it was too late due to waiting for all enough of the survey responses to come in. We’re still waiting on some final number crunching to give the go-ahead to continue the Campaign Maps.
    ***Please let me know if you still have yet to receive PDF versions of the Maps***

    Miniatures Progress:

    The Miniatures are brilliant. We had a sample to bring to Gen Con last year. Everybody loved them. The quality is really superb. Despite the hit we took on them, we are still happy that they were made. Mick Leach with Eastern Front Studios has confirmed that a number of them have been received already from the casters mid-December. I’m awaiting word from Mick as to when the rest of the models will come in so we can start shipping those with the maps, etc.

    CSIO Book Progress:

    Murphy’s Law: “Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.” In July, we basically needed to do the finished layout with all the art. We still had a good 3 months to get this to the printers, and 4-5 months to fulfill, so we thought it would be great to bring in James Mishler, a walking encyclopedia of Wilderlands knowledge (seriously, his knowledge (Wilderlands) skill is +18), to collaborate with Bob III on expanding even more of all four parts to this book: the City State, Wraith Overlord, Thunderhold, and Modron.

    We knew we were taking a gamble. Everyone was willing to support this if it meant getting a nice, polished, expanded expansion of Wilderlands goodness. We jumped in with both feet and were off to a great start. In September, James’ wife had to have surgery. It took her a good 6 weeks to recover and for James’ to be back in a position to press on. We’ve since had to push back the deliver date twice. Which brings us up to today.

    A Word from James:

    Folks,

    It’s never easy to admit to defeat; it is more than doubly-so when one has failed twice at the same endeavor, as I have with working with the City State of the Invincible Overlord and the Wilderlands of High Fantasy.

    But at this point I have to admit to defeat, in the case of re-writing the City State of the Invincible Overlord for the Judges Guild CSIO 2014 Kickstarter. I have tendered my regrets and apologies to the Bledsaws at Judges Guild, and wish to do so now to you, the fans and supporters of the Kickstarter.

    There are all sorts of reasons I could mention here; all explanations rather than excuses. Suffice to say that my days of working with Judges Guild, the Wilderlands, and the City State in my past should have remained there, in the past.

    Unfortunately, I thought I could return to those glorious days when I published under Adventure Games Publishing; sadly, the truth was I needed an exorcist to rid me of the haunting ghosts of failures past, rather than a resurrectionist to dredge up the bodies of the unquiet dead. Every attempt to go further with the manuscript resulted in an avalanche of dreadful memories and unpleasant thoughts, and brought all advancement to a screeching halt. My joyful expectations were overwhelmed by the potent recollections of previous failures.

    And so, after a brief if glorious surge of creativity, my ability to work on the manuscript died a hideous, ignominious death. In fact, my desire to do much of anything with gaming sunk to lows I’d not experienced since the end of AGP.

    Once my wife recovered from her operation, and I’d gotten new, regular hours at work, I’d hoped things would change… and though I was able to write once again, every time I turned back to the CSIO manuscript, the whole world crashed in again, and turned hope to ashes.

    I have delayed the inevitable long enough.

    I wish Judges Guild nothing but the best of luck, in this and all future endeavors.

    To the fans and supporters of the Kickstarter I say, nil desperandum! Do not despair! One small man’s failures do not bring down the whole, not when there are heroes ready to leap into the breach. Though there will be further delays, I am sure that the City State of the Invincible Overlord Kickstarter will complete, and Judges Guild will go on to even greater things. And as the maps that have already shipped have proven, their new works will awe and amaze you.

    As the works of Bob Bledsaw and Bill Owen once did for a previous generation…

    James Mishler
    02/10/2015

    So, yeah. That happened.

    This has completely taken us by complete surprise. In fact, we are still at a loss for words. We are going to have a meeting this weekend to revise our action plan and divvy up some additional responsibilities among Bob II, Bob III, and some of the other family members here. We are too far into this to let yet another stumbling block cause us to fail. As requested by backers, we are definitely going to be making the PDF version of the CSIO book available ASAP. We will add a spreadsheet on Google Docs to allow you all to add any corrections you find on each page (brilliant idea Bevan Anderson!). Tentatively, we have not decided to push back the deadline further. Once we convene on an action plan this weekend, we will update all to that effect.

    Free Maps!

    Last update, we added free PDF copies of the original 1976 CSIO and 1999 Revised CSIO. Due to popular demand, I am making available the original Player’s and Judge’s maps for CSIO. I tried a few methods of merging them all together, but it really was burning up a lot of time. So, you have the choice between a 300 dpi color scanned PDF that you can print out in letter sized sections, or a high res 1200 dpi color scanned PDF that again has letter sized paper sections. The link below should take you to a Dropbox folder with all the PDFs. Enjoy! And thank you again for your support.

    • February 13, 2015 1:50 pm

      Butcher, you are a prince and undoubtedly a mean drunk. Mishler, if you can hear me, this is an opportunity to get out of the OSR once and for good and lead a virtuous and happy life henceforth.

    • February 13, 2015 1:52 pm

      PS BOB WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 13, 2015 2:16 pm

      An expanded expansion? No wonder it’s taking forever for these boobs to roll this out. Speaking of boobs, for the measly sum of three grand, I’ll write them a new random bust-size table.

    • Master Blaster Belial (Timotheus for short) permalink
      February 13, 2015 2:24 pm

      Jesus. They were all set to go to print and…”Now that we have been paid, let’s stop everything and bring in a man who previously failed spectacularly to do a massive expansion!”

      Dumbfucks.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 13, 2015 3:38 pm

      I’m here. :mrgreen:

      I’ll be in the OSRIC room I suppose with “An Adventure Primer.”

      Make that 1e.

      And please do not stand me up again.

      These old fogies don’t understand what I do. They think life should be pleasant no matter what.

      It’s sad that I can’t get support from fellow gamers in what I consider my home.

      The party answers a handbill calling for adventurers willing to take on a highly dangerous mission to rescue one of Garyton’s most prominent ladies, Ferlyle Abbot, betrothed to the duke’s son. The party is offered 100 sovereigns apiece to effect a rescue. She is being held at the keep of Dartel the Black, an arduous journey of six days through rocky hills, bramble and thicket and a forbidding wood. The keep lies to the southeast. They are told if they follow the Sluice Stream which supplies Garyton’s water southward until it turns westward, then they turn southeast, they will come upon Dartel’s Keep in two days. Duke Rydel will offer reasonable assistance in equipping the group if need be.

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 13, 2015 3:39 pm

        Why do I do this if no one will play. I don’t have much time left and I hate wasting my time.

        ‘Nother bust. Won’t say any more.

  116. bloodymage permalink
    February 13, 2015 3:54 pm

    I just uninstalled my Acrobat stuff. This trying to simple is harder than I thought w/o being bored stiff. And I discovered the joy in handdrawn map again. Wish I control my dyslexic fingers and brain.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 13, 2015 3:55 pm

      I need a table to complete my office. Did a lot of Googling, now I have to clean this stupid machine.

  117. Billber permalink
    February 13, 2015 5:39 pm

    Arneson’s Spectre is an awful cunt. He’s like a shitty stink that hits the high notes in a rotting fish stank opera. Is that a thing. It should be

    • Billber permalink
      February 13, 2015 5:44 pm

      No offence intended

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 13, 2015 9:12 pm

      “offence”
      Yup. Hi Kunt!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 13, 2015 9:25 pm

        Doesn’t take a Columbo to figure that out!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 14, 2015 8:59 am

        “Could I bother you cunts for just a moment?”

      • Billber permalink
        February 14, 2015 2:39 pm

        Not Kunt. You dumb fuck. I don’t live in the US so I don’t spell like an American. Do you know about “outside America”?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 14, 2015 3:11 pm

        Even Kent’s sockpuppets hate his guts.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 14, 2015 3:57 pm

        Hi Kunt!

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 14, 2015 6:18 pm

        It’s confirmed. I’m a dummy.

      • February 15, 2015 1:40 am

        @Billber

        Well, you do a very credible impression of Kent at his lowest ebb. I’m not sure if that should be congratulated or pitied. Let’s go with ‘golfclapped’.

  118. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 13, 2015 6:17 pm

    Wow. A few posts up I thought Kunt was kind of hurt by my/our meanie comments and sort of broke down (at the same time being unintentionally funny, which is usually how his funny happens). I wondered “Kuntford usually slinks off for a few weeks when he’s feeling wounded, eventually popping back up with transparent, lame-o sock puppets for a bit before being Kunt again.” Well, damned if he didn’t go right into the same cycle, like he does year in and year out. Most people would just go fucking hang themselves, or slash their wrists with a broken Ten High whiskey bottle. O’Kunt just comes skipping back in for another pub beating like a Manchester Tranny.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 13, 2015 6:52 pm

      I think he totally lost his shit (more than usual) when Scott started using his “OK Cupid” profile picture as his avatar here. That set ol’ Kentloaf off on his unconvincing, too-stupid-to-be-lewd comments about Scott’s girlfriend, who he considers a rival for Scott’s affections.

      Kent has a knack for shoving shit down the Memory Hole, so he’ll pretend that none of this happened when he eventually returns with an attempted jocularity.

  119. Kent permalink
    February 13, 2015 8:30 pm

    CKDB, I don’t read your comments. I doubt anyone beyond the other two idiots do.

    I read that one because I guessed someone would be stupid enough to think billber was me.

    You really are a stupid guy. You should try to do something about that.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 13, 2015 9:13 pm

      #KentIsGay #DoingGay #DrunkIrishPillowbitingHomo

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 13, 2015 9:27 pm

        Have you checked out his stinkdungeon? It actually features a “stinkcock” fungus, no joke.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 14, 2015 8:58 am

        Many times, when I need a good laugh.

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 14, 2015 6:22 pm

        I’m about to give up this damned hobby. I can’t seem to get anything done anymore.

    • February 14, 2015 12:15 am

      In their defence, it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve called someone a cunt under an assumed identity. Even a simpleton can recognise patterns.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 14, 2015 12:35 am

        Even a simpleton can recognise patterns.

        But Kent can’t.

  120. RPGPundbot permalink
    February 14, 2015 6:21 am

    James Mishler: Fucking Coward

    So Mishler has posted his last response (so he says) to the responses he got. And what did have to say about me?

    “with RPGPundit, I’ve encountered a living thesaurus of profanity and vulgarity; or perhaps RPGPundit is merely a form of artificial intelligence programmed only with insults? Hard to tell. I have no desire to even touch any of his/its screed; I feel that if I were to say something so simple as “The sky is blue,” I’d be called a retard or something.”

    In other words, having now seen and read my post and with no excuse, he has decided to ignore it out of fear. Come here, bitch, and face my intellectual knife! I’m going to teach you motherfucking rhetoric with this knife!

    Mishler is a coward who’s hid from the way I proved he was WRONG about his arguments about Hackmaster basic. So much for his loudmouth claims of being an industry expert, when he doesn’t even know how to tell the difference between an introductory set and a nostalgia book without so much as an “intro to roleplaying” section in it.

    He’s hidden too from the reality that it is HIS ilk that is to blame, and not the consumers themselves, for whatever disasters we may be facing in the hobby. Its the game publishers who’ve driven the regular gamers away by catering to the drooling fanbois, the collectors, the Swine, and the Lawncrappers.

    Come here and argue with me, bitch, point by point. You won’t, because you know I’ll tear you a new one. Your arguments lack both truth and beauty. And when confronted, you hide behind a sense of indignation while you let the Swine spit their poison at me. Way to man up, there.

    You’ve proven, yet again, that you have no fucking clue about the kids today. You have the mentality, in every respect, of a frightened tired old man who only wants things to work how he’d like, damn it, and to have anyone but him to blame if they don’t. In your blog entry today, you post some ridiculous stereotypes and bullshit (and all, I might add, from an entirely US-American perspective, but not even really all that true in there), and use that to justify the fact that the industry shouldn’t even try to recruit 13-18 year olds.

    Because, you know, they could be dangerous and might want to change things. They might laugh at your fatbeard! You know, kids these days have no manners; they’ve been ruined by bad influences like marijuana, Heavy Metal music and Dungeons & Dragons… oh wait, that was OUR generation, the one stupid old bastards used to say was going to hell and was doomed and ignorant and dangerous back in 1985; and we used to laugh at them. And now the stupid old bastard is you, repeating the same old stupid nonsense about the next generation.

    In fact, everything about you screams ill-educated nutcase. Ridiculous prophecies about the collapse of the economy and civilization; stereotyped and utterly disconnected-from-reality ideas about young people right out of Fox News, all that’s missing (so far) is a touch of racism, biblical fanaticism and gun-nuttery to make you the classic American Lunatic.

    So go, coward. Hide in your warm dry place in the dirt. Wallow in your fear. No one will miss you. Show us all how you are unworthy of my blade.

    RPGPundit

  121. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    February 14, 2015 7:10 pm

    1d6 Ways for Kent do DIE!
    Roll 1d6
    1. AIDS from unprotected doing gay
    2. A well-deserved queer bashing
    3. Fucked with the dildo from the movie Se7en
    4. Drinking wood alcohol in a seedy fag bar
    5. Forced to count to five at gun point do or die!
    6. Mercy suicide

  122. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 16, 2015 6:20 pm

    Roll a D6 and on a one it’s special death for Kunt:Roll another 1D6.

    1. Two power lifters with baseball bats each come upside his head on either side. The meatheads get an extra hundy each if they hit hard enough that at least one eye pops out of the orbital socket and dangles (I know this has nothing to do with gaming, I just like the imagery).
    2. his vital organs are connected to Bloodymage’s computer. Word, Photoshop, Outlook, etc are each tied in to a vital organ. If the program is not used properly, the organ is shut down. Careful Blooey, his heart is connected to Excel!
    3. Kunt must read every single post on Dragonsfoot, ever, by Thorkhammer. A gun with a single bullet is placed in front of him. Read every word, or take the easy way out.
    4. Choked by a wad of paper that has every socket puppet he has ever used scrawled on it.
    5. His own brain, fed up with the idiocy it gets blamed for, erupts into flames and melts out of his ears.
    6. He is placed in a “Brass Raggi.” The painful cries of victims roasting in it’s belly comes out his mouth as ass-kissing of Zak.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 16, 2015 11:50 pm

      No fate is more crass:
      Being placed in the ass
      Of a red-hot Jim Raggi
      That’s sculpted from brass.

      Btw: “Brass Raggi” would be a great band name.

  123. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    February 17, 2015 12:55 pm

    This video is a concept piece for my new RPG which will embrace all that is the blOwSR as we know it.

  124. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    February 19, 2015 6:53 am

    So Turdkar has joined the tin cup brigade…

    https://www.patreon.com/tenkarstavern

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      February 19, 2015 9:46 am

      50$ per month to keep Tenkar afloat ey? I appreciate the community spirit no doubt lingering behind those donations but jesus christ can you do other fun shit for that amount of money.

      Also what is up gang? Are we slowing down? Has Kent finally eroded your collective spirit through the sly application of ethanol-fuelled anti-wit and repetitive forays into our border territories? Has the OSR finally transmogrified into something that can’t even be hated with lackluster intensity? In the face of such mediocrity, have we become what our enemies have always portrayed us as, a gang of nancies that use profanity to hide our sexual preferences?

      Is this all you have OSR? Is this all you are? Are you finally just discussing gaming now?
      http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=31684

      • February 19, 2015 10:30 am

        I’ve been busy developing my Peter Pan versus Pippi Longstocking mash-up setting (wherein Pippi is Hook’s daughter). Tentative title: A Dark and Never Land

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 19, 2015 10:50 am

        I’ve been working on my Miss Marple/Brother Cadfael mashup set in JMal’s “Dwimmermount” setting: The Wrinklequim Chronicles.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 19, 2015 10:51 am

        I’d buy it if you make the setting a world spanning fantasy Great War between renegade world navies gone renegade and the endless armies of a jaded fairy queen aristocracy(see also Alexis), Longstockings the culmination of a millenium long pirate breeding project and Peter Pan the Avatar of a foreign celestial body that has come to devour our sun and bathe the world in dark light. Bonus points if you can make it progressive and about tranny acceptance or something.

      • February 19, 2015 12:21 pm

        Not convinced those $50 patróns will stick around long once they get their goodie bags but it might just be because that page annoys me with its use of the word “monies,” a fucking baby-talk weak sister to good old lucre much as wicca posers (hi pundit) fall back on the word “magics” when us working-class plebes would just say spells.

        Uh, where was I? Currently mashing up Muppet Babies with Watchmen, I call it Gotham on FOX.

        Also since dick-measuring season came early on the shite we got to represent, check them HOT search engine keywords:

        http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/yourdungeonissuck.wordpress.com

      • February 19, 2015 5:42 pm

        shlominus is a prince and a scholar.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        February 19, 2015 6:03 pm

        #inbeforezaktellsitlikeitis

  125. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 19, 2015 11:05 am

    Meanwhile, in a Bloo Unpleasant Land, some sort of ill-defined horror narrative is unfolding:

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=87&t=69202

    Oil? Hospital? WTF? All these weird details with no context… how does one connect them into a semi-coherent whole? Bloo Meridian, indeed!

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      February 19, 2015 12:47 pm

      I’m telling you, he is one remarkable fucking man. The anti-Forest Gump. He’ll say something like “This box in my lap is like life” with no information on what is in the fucking box and why it is like life. Earlier was his first mention of a chair. “Stuck in this chair.” Most people would think it’s a whieelchair, but you cannot assume with Blooey. It could just well be the 10 dollar folding chair from Target he sits in while fucking up his computer.

      The funniest thing is he just confuses and annoys the fuck out of The Unblown on DF. Meanwhile all we can do is find exquisite joy in his excruciatingly mysterious blurbs. It’s a hundred times more interesting and rewarding to hear about than whatever the fuck Zak or Pundit are up to in the tiny pond. God bless you Blooey. Keep on trucking and fighting whatever the fuck it is that is wrong with you.

      Do more cons!

  126. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 19, 2015 12:41 pm

    Once again, “Serl” proves to be the biggest asshole currently active on the gaming forums:

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=69397

    I think the mods will delete the thread to maintain the illusion of a “Kumbaya session”. Odds are, they’ll nuke the whole thread.

    • Scott permalink
      February 19, 2015 12:50 pm

      He’s a prick.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      February 19, 2015 4:21 pm

      Yeah, serl’s sole pupose in life is to suck cock on the net. He’s a pro.

      • Scott permalink
        February 19, 2015 10:46 pm

        You’re catching me at one of the rare times I’m reading blogs and am not (yet) shitfaced and sleep-deprived. I’m never sober when I post here so I’m not even sure how this works.

        serleran is mean for no good reason to people who are clearly hurting, so fuck him. He’s pathetic.

        But y’all do WAY worse to bloodymage behind your “oh we really wish him well but he’s this cryptic Wesley Willis outsider artist, look at what he said today durr hurr” bullshit. You’re making fun of a fucked-up man who’s done nothing to warrant it. He’s not a talentless Peter Pan asshole fleecing dipshits on Kickstarter. He’s not a pretentious dick lording it over the boards. He’s a poor asshole in a lot of pain and you make fun of him non-stop.

        I know where we are and I’m not holding my kerchief to my nose. We’re obviously pretty cool with each other despite doctrinal differences, the fact that some of us are maudlin drunks, crazier than shithouse rats, prone to blurring the boundaries between aggression and homoeroticism, etc. But if you’re going to be a troll, own it. Just be a troll and fuck with people and don’t faggot it up with a veneer of gentility and concern. Don’t justify it with “well, he tries to sell things and has profoundly retarded ideas about how to get people on board with his dumb enterprise” … that’s secondary to making fun of the windowlicker and you know it.

        The sad ironing? The one place in the universe that cares about that guy and hangs on his every word – he has no idea it exists. He needs someone to take an interest in him and talk to him and treat him like a fellow human being, and there’s this entire community obsessed with him that (God willing) he’ll never know about. Nice joke, universe.

        How much effort would it take to post a couple times a week or show up for an hour or two a week on chat in some stupid game for someone you supposedly feel sorry for or sympathize with? I can’t fathom pity-gaming but I can’t fathom anything else y’all are doing with him, so whatever. At least someone with a DF account could send him a message saying “hey, how you doing, keep your pecker up,” right?

        If he ever reads these discussions, that’s a game-changer, y’all know that, right? I’ve been here long enough to know some of y’all have consciences. How does this shit play out if that poor teetering guy ever sees what you say about him? A guy who, as best we can tell, is a disabled veteran in bad financial straits with obvious mental and emotional issues? And he sees page after page of people just flat out laughing at him?

        Either be gadflies with hearts of gold or be mean girls … pick a fucking side, you pussies.

        By the time someone replies, I should be properly ripshit and we can commence the discourse as usual.

      • February 20, 2015 4:56 pm

        I sent him a fucking checkerboard tablecloth, what else do you fucking want from me?!?!?

      • Scott permalink
        February 19, 2015 10:51 pm

        In closing, your faggotry makes Taylor sad.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        February 19, 2015 11:18 pm

        And buy some product!

      • Scott permalink
        February 19, 2015 11:46 pm

        k, NOW I’m drunk. Let’s do this.

      • February 20, 2015 1:18 am

        I don’t read Dragonsfart and find bloo the least interesting to mock of this little dysfunctional family’s usual targets, more or less for the same reasons you’ve mentioned (mostly just being a sick old man who repeatedly tries, and fails, to get into this shit industry/hobby scene, on account of being a sick old man).

        But what the hell, I’ll bite. I’ll dust off the old DF account and send blooey a word of appreciation or support.

        Hey, if more people tag along, we might get something interesting going on there. Maybe we could troll serleran? Doesn’t he do shit art for Castles & Crusades? Or is it shit writing?

      • Scott permalink
        February 20, 2015 1:38 am

        It’d just be cool if someone were nice to him. I’d really rather not have to. Other people should carry out my social mission.

        (I guess a normal person would notice if a bunch of noobs msg him when serleran, Thorkhammer etc have a million posts each? I can’t see him noticing or caring.)

        FAIR IS FAIR

      • February 20, 2015 1:40 am

        i have to say i totally agree with scott. i’ve been meaning to say this for quite some time now, might as well chime in now.

        stop making fun of the man! it’s terrible and if punching down gives you so much pleasure you should really be ashamed of yourselves. the guy did nothing to deserve being mocked like that. what little fun there might have been, it’s long gone and what remains isn’t pretty.

        also, stop calling zak’s players cumrags and stuff like that, ok? they didn’t do anything to deserve being insultet like that. it’s not their fault zak has issues.

      • Scott permalink
        February 20, 2015 1:48 am

        “also, stop calling zak’s players cumrags and stuff like that, ok? they didn’t do anything to deserve being insultet like that. it’s not their fault zak has issues.”

        OK god dammit I like Zak and Mandy but this is like when you have a bill going through to stop raping baby seals and everyone’s ready to vote and then someone tacks on a part about everyone has to touch their own ballsacks to their belly buttons. I mean we’d all like to do that and probably can, which I’ll check in a sec, but it’s not part of the bill.

      • Scott permalink
        February 20, 2015 1:56 am

        Don’t even bother with trying the ballsack to belly button thing, I just tried and it was totally super easy and I don’t have weird balls

      • Scott permalink
        February 20, 2015 1:57 am

        METAPHOR

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 20, 2015 5:10 am

        Drax references aside, I’m sort of on Scott’s kind of drunk juggalo-fanfic side. I don’t mind the occasional cruel joke at someone’s expense but the Blooey-thing is getting sort of stale(i will admit to having one or two chuckles now and then, not so much for the last couple of topics) and i find that i do not notice the gaping emptiness where a human heart/mirror-neurons should be located so much if we pick on a genuinely deserving target(Zak, Pundit, TehShadowKnows, Brave Halfling, Target of Opportunity Tenkar, Waxing Moon phase Alexis, Buisness Raggs, Jamal, Nystul).

        @Butcher. I’m up for an infiltration if you are. You will have to brief me on local hazards and any equipment is strictly OSP.

        @Shlomius. Welcome! I have read but a handful of your comments but you seem to have a fairly good image of the nature of the RPGSite, which gives me some hope for humanity. I actually sort of agree with your points in principle but your argumentation is defective. From what i have read, and that is mainly from Mandy, they have expressed nothing but unilateral glowing support for Zak’s every action. I would say occasional mockery is justified based on that alone. I will agree the cum-rag angle is intellectually lazy and generally in bad form however. As an aside, i appreciate you speaking up but will not let this opportunity to go to make fun of you for being a white-knighting nancy pants. Hee Hee Hee!

  127. don't forget the past permalink
    February 20, 2015 3:35 am

    Well, in defense of the BM abusers, the guy was a huge fuckass on DF for a very long time before it became clear that he was sad/sick/retarded/mentally ill/developmentally disabled/whatever it is. The fact is that every internet jerkoff is a human, and almost all of them have bad personalities explained not by them being evil but by the them being sad/sick/retarded/mentally ill/developmentally disabled/whatever. So shouldn’t we just stop being assholes to all of them? But wait, what if we’re assholes because we’re sad/sick/retarded/mentally ill/developmentally disabled/whatever. Man, human frailty is some confusing shit – we’re smart enough to be self-aware, but too stupid to do it right.

    • February 21, 2015 10:16 pm

      Since discovering that Mr. B. Mage has at some stage asked people to pay for the privilege of working for him I have found my heart’s grown a few sizes smaller. I don’t believe that warrants the amount of unrelated attention he gets around here, but I have little sympathy for anyone who wants freelancers to put themselves a grand out of pocket so someone else can try (and presumably fail) to sell their efforts. In other words; a little mockery and a lot less botting please.

  128. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    February 20, 2015 6:53 am

    Von, Scott, and PrinceofNothing have really fagged this place up lately. 😦

    Blooey FOREVER!

    P.S. Mandy is still a skanky cum rag, only now you can twist that disgusting slut into a pretzel shape thanks to that disease she has before she films her next gang bang with German Shepherds or something.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      February 20, 2015 7:01 am

      Convince me on the lulz-related merits of blooeyfagging and mandy-bashing and i will gladly un-fag this place as much as possible. Go, you have my attention.

    • shlominus permalink
      February 20, 2015 7:11 am

      it’s sad that this place has worse people than therpgsite. all those reactionary assholes, yet this piece of shit easily takes the crown. impressive! bravo!

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        February 20, 2015 10:06 am

        Hey, shlo. Big fan of your takedowns of Zak Attack. Anyway, there are definitely some trolls here, but no one has laughed about the mass murder of children, as the rpgpundit and some of his buddies have. So this place does not have people worse than the rpgshite.

    • Kent's Rectum permalink
      February 20, 2015 7:49 am

      • Sykirobme permalink
        February 20, 2015 8:42 pm

        You’ve lost weight.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 20, 2015 7:56 am

      I called Bloodymage off limits back in 2012.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 20, 2015 1:55 pm

      You dumb gay fucks know where you are, right? Blooey is fair game. He’s even been the headliner in our gracious host’s posts here at YDIS several times. Now give him $1,000 to edit his product then BUY SOMETHING so he can keep the lights on!

      And keep being nice to Kunt too. That will work out for you in the end. (LOL in the END doing gay joke!)

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 20, 2015 7:05 pm

        Listen dude, i don’t mind the Mandy bashing all that much(rationale beautifully outlined above), i think the blooeytrawling is getting stale by virtue of overexposure and i think if your anti-Kent stick was effective it would have worked by now(same goes for BLB unfortunately, but i appreciate the principle of the thing). Kent’s no Mjollnir, the man does not respond to negative feedback all tha well, therefore an alternative strategy to bring about a glorious non-Kentian non-Columbo YDIS is warranted.

        ~vibes.
        Prince.

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 20, 2015 8:19 pm

        Just spent a goodly amount of money to keep this fckg machine healthy. I’ll be around awhile.

    • February 21, 2015 10:22 pm

      I regret nothing.

  129. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    February 20, 2015 8:20 am

    Yeah, BM doesn’t deserve the amount of mockery he gets here. I am sympathetic to him, and I suspect most of us are.

    Anyway, some dumbfick goes on in an article on Gnome Stew about boobies on products from 10 years ago, and Raggi and Zak goosestep to the rescue. This is the g+ comments thread to Raggs’ rebuttal, where logic and honesty are dragged to all-new lows. I skimmed it until I got toward the bottom, when an old friend shows up – ED DOVE! He has been MIA for a couple of years, but he is back with a vengeance as Raggi’s suppository!

    Now THIS faggot is deserving of ydis-style love. Kinda makes me wanna go back and relive some of his greatest hits, like his arguement with Jack about Isle of the Unblown.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      February 20, 2015 8:24 am

      here we go:

      http://talesofthegrotesqueanddungeonesque.blogspot.com/2012/05/isle-of-unknown-is-non-sequitur.html

      One of the greatest comment sections ever.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      February 20, 2015 9:03 am

      10 comments in an Zak enters the fray and the mud is already up to my knees. It’s not even that he’s wrong in this case, it’s the way people argue from both sides. Well spotted.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 20, 2015 9:33 am

        ” It’s not even that he’s wrong in this case, it’s the way people argue from both sides. ”

        See, this is what YDIS has always been about.

      • February 20, 2015 9:11 pm

        He’s very wrong. Anti-Sexy art is not what the SJW position is. Painting those you don’t agree with as puritans and sex-negative is disingenuous as fuck. Turning a debate about degrees into a dichotomy. I think we can all agree that nerds are usually rhetorically bankrupt.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 21, 2015 7:42 am

        Eh, i think the correlation between elfgames and rhetoric is a small one, but by god do we have a few terrible examples to fuck up the sample.

        Also i read the gnomestew article. What a fucking faggot. His position is absolutely one of Anti-sexy (woman, not men, no one cares about that) art. His position is that it is demeaning and sinful to portray(to women, no one cares about men) attractive women on your covers, it makes him feel bad in the poopoo and it hurts the industry. He calls players out to relate their woes to their fellow players as though they had been on a goddamn 2 year tour of duty to Iraq, only with Rape-golems. Gnomestew is a self-righteous cretin who lacks even the intellectual rigour to find an example that is not 10 years old. The man is completely and utterly full of shit and his colon should be surgically attached to his mouth to reflect this fact.

        Now, Zak will paint people as puritains and sex-negative if they disagree with him regardless of the actual veracity of these claims or relation to the actual topic, his rhetoric is autistic, obsessed with defenitions and he lacks intellectual honesty in the same way that deep space lacks air, but i think we can chalk this one up to a broken clock being right twice per day.

      • February 21, 2015 7:54 am

        I disagree. I didn’t read any where an avocation of no sexy art. He’s clearly talking about a style of art that contains issues like crotch-pops. I think it’d be interesting to find out where he draws the line but again, the reaction is to turn the article into a dichotomy. I thought you above that prince.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 21, 2015 8:57 am

        I will concede a subsequent glance at the comment section provides a more nuanced perspective not outlined in the original article(along with an advocation of female nudity on covers, as well as art diversity) (i hestiate to call it goalpost shifting) but i feel the overal tone of the article is not reflective of this statement.

        Zak’s tendency to resort to moral absolutionism and definition fagging is tiresome and hackneyed, but i feel his freedom of expression art point, no matter how poorly argued, is the superior position.

      • February 21, 2015 9:15 am

        The article uses “like porn” or “porn” a lot, he’s not being ambitious about what kind of art he’s worried about. He also uses “too sexualised for me”, indicating that his issue isn’t anti-sexy. The comment section is in reaction to people accusing him of being sex-negative, which clearly isn’t in the article.

        I think toning down sexualised art for the sake of social cohesion to be a reasonable request. I like Crumb and Bode’s women but I find it entirely reasonable that those comics stay niche, underground.

        I understand you consider liberty a higher principle but let’s not get into superior/inferior discussions. Liberty has been the rhetoric of sexists, racists, and other assorted bigots. It has it’s flaws just like any other civil or political principle.

      • February 21, 2015 9:17 am

        Ambiguous*, so many typos today.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 21, 2015 9:33 am

        On further perusal, it’s indeed a problem with degree, not the presence or absence thereof but even a statement such as “like porn” is not always clear cut because different people can interpret ‘like porn’ to mean different things. The crotch shots does make his position a bit more clear.

        I’m not saying it is the superior position, just that i believe it to be. Social cohesion, like Liberty, gets hijacked by demagogues and nut jobs as much as any other ideal. I agree another round of ideological rambling would be counter-productive.

        Also any progress/thoughts on Fist of the Asura Star? Or is EoPT still your darling?

      • February 21, 2015 2:14 pm

        Fair points all.

        I didn’t mean to pass judgement on the people who mock bloodymage, just on the merits of the mockery itself as bile-and-vitriol-infused entertainment. If that came out wrong, I apologize. I wouldn’t dream of holding back the meanness of anyone posting to this site, which frankly has become my favorite RPG-related Internet read on account of not taking itself or anyone else too seriously.

        As for Gnome Stew vs. Zak and Raggi, well fuck, who are we supposed to root for here? We all lose.

        I actually dislike Raggi least of all three. Dude’s got a schtick, does it to death and the Internet loves him for it and showers him in money, who am I to argue? Jimbo’s living the dream. Hate the game, not the playa.

        Zak’s RPG stuff is not bad, just a tad weirder than I enjoy, but what annoys me about him is his “this is how Reality really works” rhetoric in which he gets to define stuff to his heart’s content and write off anything that contradicts him as “uninteresting” because fuck it, if the Great Wizard of Jizz isn’t interested, it blinks out of existence.

        As for Gnome Stew, well, it’s a multi-author blog so it’s kind of a mixed bag. It’s got decent articles on occasion, plenty of stinkers and all-and-out headscratchers like this guest author that renamed sandboxes “fishtanks” by way of tortured analogy: http://www.gnomestew.com/gming-advice/the-fish-tank-as-a-mystery-2/ (you might want to visit the inevitable theRPGsite thread about it: http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=30212 here).

        Still, I feel the anti-cheesecake screed is tired old shit, and actually made me rummage through the author’s older articles to find anything else worth mocking. Didn’t turn out much, to be honest, other than a boring-ass megadungeon generator that made my eyes glaze over.

        The thing about this fight is that, well, both sides are beating a dead horse. Cheesecake art is more often guilty of just being bad art, technically and/or aesthetically speaking, than actually being demeaning to wymyn or something, and most of its critics come off to me as trying to score some easy SJW brownie points. And while I generally side with Zak’s principles that the human body is fair game for art and everyone’s free to vote with their wallets, and Jimbo’s argument that once you’ve owned up to playing elfgames it’s pretty dumb to concern yourself with other people’s opinion of you (hint: it’s not going to get you promoted at work), it’s conducted with the usual intellectually abhorrent, goalpost-moving Zak tempo.

        As a side note, I don’t see how anyone above 17 actually finds that classic Exalted cover (Invincible Cameltoe Princess, I like to call her) tittilating. But then I don’t get hentai either.

      • February 21, 2015 9:53 am

        Which is why finding out where his line was would have been interesting. To see how “like porn” is more used, so we can all make up our minds. Of course, we can’t have that with Zak and Raggi and all the other idiots like to decide what people really meant. So, yeah, Zak was very wrong here. Claims of “stop sexualising” don’t hold up to scrutiny.

        As long as we all agree that every organising principle has flaws and a position isn’t better because it invokes one over another.

        Still EoPT, all day, everyday. I’m one of those people who can’t justify something unless I do it better.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 21, 2015 10:15 am

        It would be interesting to write a sort of ‘Zak-debating-tactics’ guide for idiots but i fear the amount of persistence you would need is a bit much to ask and the end result is rarely productive. It should be staggeringly easy to point out some of his assumptions and logical fallacies but the man is a master nitpicker. It’s kind of like debating Pundit.

        Doing a better EoPT is going to be tricky, though if i were to ever make a setting(in the process of doing so) i’d try to do something new with it that previous games, no matter how superior to my own humble efforts, do not do.

      • February 21, 2015 10:32 pm

        “Cheesecake art is more often guilty of just being bad art, technically and/or aesthetically speaking, than actually being demeaning to wymyn or something, and most of its critics come off to me as trying to score some easy SJW brownie points.”

        I’ll put my hand up and say I’ve done this. I blame the years in media fandom where you couldn’t say Jack about Shit without the obligatory privilege check and weekly demonstration that you were Thinking the Right Things.

        Bad art – and I mean V:tM splatbook or LotFP Grindhouse levels of ‘bad’ here, i.e. ‘objectively’ poor in its technique and composition – is demeaning to anyone who pays money to look at it. By comparison something which displays good technique and just happens to have norks in it… well, do we let that off with a slap on the wrist or what? When do we start complaining about the number of Renaissance nips on display in metropolitan art galleries around the world, etc. etc.

        I wonder how much of the GAMES IS ART shtick is a desperate scrabble for that kind of immunisation against critique. Stick a figleaf, and urn and a few cherubs on it and you’re laughing – or is it a matter of usage, and does High Art get away with it because nobody rubs one out to the Madonna with Child and Sundries?

        Boring conversation anyway, but I just wanted to confess that yes, I have been one of those self-righteous flaunters. I’m not sorry but it was dumb and reflexive of me. In conclusion, you’re all faggots and I still don’t want anything to do with Zak’s cock.

      • February 22, 2015 1:29 am

        Butcher, that Raggi point is stupid. Everyone has to give a shit what others think of them, it’s apart of living in a society. It’s in no way stupid to give a shit about how you are perceived by your peers -whatever your hobbies are- and anybody saying otherwise is either awaiting trail or showing their lack of normal, everyday social skills.

        Prince, I anticipate your setting’s release. I’m quite sure what you mean, doing things that none do, but that could be because I’m thinking a setting has to be written in or represented in one particular way.

      • February 22, 2015 8:36 am

        “Butcher, that Raggi point is stupid. Everyone has to give a shit what others think of them, it’s apart of living in a society. It’s in no way stupid to give a shit about how you are perceived by your peers -whatever your hobbies are- and anybody saying otherwise is either awaiting trail or showing their lack of normal, everyday social skills.”

        Of course, but there are degrees of exposition. I might be misremembering but I seem to recall the Gnome Stew guy clutching his pearl necklace in horror at the thought of being sighted with the Book of Cameltoe at the hobby shop’s cashier. Maybe he’s one of these types, who, in a different age, told people he got Playboy just for the interviews.

      • February 22, 2015 5:12 pm

        Replace “Book of Cameltoe” with Maid Rpg or any book which you consider against your own standards of decency. It’s a normal human reaction dude. Cameltoe book might not make you blush but I bet being seen carrying around a perceived peadophilic rpg would concern you.

      • February 22, 2015 6:47 pm

        “Replace “Book of Cameltoe” with Maid Rpg or any book which you consider against your own standards of decency.”

        Bit of goalpost shifting there, innit? I think Maid is an openly pedo piece of trash and wouldn’t be caught dead with a copy of it. The Exalted book is just guilty of bad art and hackneyed fanservice. If Gnome Stew Writer #7 feels bad about that book’s cover, hey, maybe he shouldn’t have picked it up in the first place?

        Anyway, my original point is that anyone above, I don’t know, 21, getting caught with any RPG book, cameltoe or no cameltoe, is embarassing enough. Though admittedly I see how tittilating hentai-esque bad cover art might make it slightly worse.

      • February 22, 2015 8:52 pm

        It’s an analogy. How am I shifting the goal-posts, gnome-stew was expressing his sense of decency just like you are with maid. How he feels with that book is how you would feel with a book you felt violated your sense of decency. I think you and Raggi have a weak point here.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      February 20, 2015 9:06 am

      And we are already discussing the meaning of the word infinite and the meaning of the word meaningful and gaaaaaaaagh

    • February 21, 2015 5:48 am

      Never mind about the nudity, the real question here ought to be

      ARE WITCHES BEING PERSECUTED??!?

      • February 21, 2015 8:03 am

        This is an outrage, I am offended by your attacks on my white religion.

      • Xartan Tsathoggua permalink
        February 21, 2015 4:35 pm

        GOPagan – Now there’s a worthy target of the YDIS community.

  130. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 20, 2015 1:31 pm

    It’s a hoot that some of you numbnuts think Blooey is going to be able to come here and find all the comments about him over the years. He’s stated in the past that his “Google-fu is weak,” and he can’t even fucking get Microsoft Word to function properly. But OK, I’ll give him up for Lent cause some of you are pretending you have a soul. Or are gay or whatever.

    As for Zak’s skanks, fuck them. Guilt by association. Mandy, Satine, Kimberly “My Valtrex isn’t working” Kane. They built the little shit up, and they share in the adulation of a small group of creeps he has gathered through hucksterism in a niche hobby who worship anybody with any association to the sex act. Ten years from now where will any of these walking turds be? Well, Mandy isn’t walking but you get my point.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 20, 2015 1:57 pm

      A-FUCKING-MEN brother!

  131. February 20, 2015 2:35 pm

    I have made an occasional jape at Willet’s expense and I cannot defend my behavior. That said, I honestly don’t think appreciative/supportive comments mean much to him. He uses the DF forums to vent; he rarely – if ever – acknowledges the comments people leave for him.

    If you really want to show support for Willet, participate in one of his online games. I’m willing to create a DF account and do this, but he needs more than one player.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 20, 2015 8:19 pm

      Please retire this game. No evident interest.

    • Timotheus permalink
      February 21, 2015 6:35 am

      Yeah, that is one of the baffling things. He does get some support at DF – not just messages of sympathy, but actual detailed advice on his computer crap. But I don’t think I have seen him acknowledge any of it, except for his “Thanks, I guess, but not interested” on his birthday thread.

  132. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 20, 2015 3:41 pm

    “participate in one of his online games”

    Fuck, buy a goddamn Polyhedron Games LLC coffee mug if you want to do something that actually helps the guy. Da orcs a’ falling down ain’t gonna keep the lights on.

    So much for fucking Lent.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 20, 2015 4:08 pm

      Or a Don’t Mess With the Bloodymage thong! Or a Beldany shower curtain!

    • February 21, 2015 5:39 am

      Money isn’t the answer; he’ll just wind up sinking it into Facebook.

    • February 21, 2015 10:36 pm

      All right, fine. Money where mouth is. Pick a Bloo product for review and I’ll buy something, bearing in mind that even I can’t say much about half a dozen random tables.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 22, 2015 9:53 pm

        What if you could get the random tables on a shower curtain?

      • February 23, 2015 12:33 am

        Take 2d6 into the shower?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 23, 2015 9:20 am

        Don’t drop the dice! 😮

      • February 23, 2015 10:24 pm

        But but but we’re using 4d6 drop lowest!

  133. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 20, 2015 6:54 pm

    As a member of the “Bloo crew”, I guess it’s my turn to put in my tuppence. Regarding Bloo being “off limits”, I call BS- there are certain subjects that are off limits, such as dying or dead children. Dead pastor? Hilarious! Fatal gun-bra incident? What a boob! To me, snark is paramount- I comment here in order to keep the claws sharp for the real deal, political and anti-theocratic snarkery.

    My first inquiries into “Bloodaism” were in the thread which yielded “Bloo Detective“, and my primary interest has always been making up bad Blooey puns, yeah, “lowest form of humor” and all that shit.

    Something unexpected occurs when one scrutinizes Bloo (blootinizes, if you will)… one begins to find hints of a deeper narrative within the constant litany of gripes. In the middle of the absurdist torrent, there are hints of genuine horror, call it Bloobu Roi– “eat pee merdre!”, if you will.

    Even a single Bloo comment can veer from Scott Adams “computers, know whutimean?” banality to possible Cronenbergian “body horror”:

    I pounded my fingers on my book but I’m gonna need help from someone who is a lot better than Word than I. Word wiped out all my formatting and now that I’ve got it back in shape I so want to print it out but there’s a lot of work still to be done. I hate asking for help repeatedly but the damn oil is dripping into my eyes, I’m tired and disgusted right now. Probably should of went to the hospital when they asked but I’m a stubborn old fool. 😳

    Is the oil a metaphor? Is it for skin care? Is it the chrism used in some sort of adult baptism? What the actual fuck is he talking about?

    99 and 44/100% of what we know about Bloo is from Bloo himself, but he never drops more than tantalizing hints devoid of context. He has a dead wife, a “useless” son, and a crazy” fun-loving ex who used to take a lot of pictures. He complains about money, but comes out with cryptic statements about Facebook being a money-sink, and his business sounds more like a failed pyramid scheme than a legitimate small publisher. All Americans bitch about a lack of money, shit like we struggled, we had to sell stocks to pay for college. Even with his money woes, Bloo attempted to book a flight from DFW to Arizona, and showed up at the airport without a reservation. Again, WTF? How does that happen?

    Even his tales of computer woes are bizarre- he seems to install a new OS every month, but is stymied by Word? He sounds like a half-competent tinkerer, and the majority of his problems seem like they are the result of him downloading torrents of porn. Vosteran, how did that get there?

    The appeal of Bloodaism lies in piecing together Bloo’s clues in an attempt to suss out what’s really going on. It’s not punching down, it’s mashing up… every once in a while, something comes out that really jars the narrative- in a now deleted Blooeypost, one commenter wrote, “You reap what you sow.” Where the hell did that come from? Is this his ex? His son? A burned “Polyhedron” contributer? The effect of the whole canon is similar to that of a Gene Wolfe novella- the narrator is unreliable, the timeline somewhat distorted by the multiple sources of information. Call it Book of the Bloo Sun, hopefully he’ll *****SPOILER***** end up as autarch of Texas.

    Now, regarding gaming with Bloo, the dude has a couple of abortive play-by-posts going on at DF and Unseen Servant, he’s already left his players hanging. He wants to conduct a chat game, but only on his terms- he dictates the start time without conferring with possible players and then gripes about nobody taking him up on his offer. Thanks, but no, I think I’ll pass.

    That’s my two pence, my Bloo pence. I have no problems being labeled a troll. This place is commonly perceived as a troll blog with a troll commentariat, I’m fine hanging out on the third level of Snurre’s hall. I’ll finish with saying that I cracked up when CKDB declared that he’d give Bloo up for Lent, because I was thinking the same damn thing. SCOOPED!!!

  134. bloodymage permalink
    February 20, 2015 8:18 pm

    Drop this thread please. I don’t have much time left and I hate wasting my time. ‘Nother bust. Won’t say any more.

  135. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 20, 2015 9:17 pm

    The funniest thing about this upwelling of concern for Bloo is that it came shortly after the “Random Kent’s Death” tables, which everybody seems to be cool with.

    • February 21, 2015 6:05 am

      BM evokes sympathy; Kent does not.

      Personally, I don’t want Kent to die prematurely; I want him permanently institutionalized in the best mental health facility Ireland has to offer. (Granted, this is most likely a pub or a drinking house or whatever they call bars in Eire.) If we can prevent the propagation of Kentism, it would be worth it.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 21, 2015 10:04 am

        I don’t even want that to transpire, I just want him to realize that he’s not nearly as intelligent as he thinks he is, and not even remotely funny, unless it’s unintentional- e.g.: “whale lips”.

        #whendunningmetkruger

      • Radovarl is seriously fatigued with all of this friggin BS and just wants to get back to not gaming and reading serious liddychore. permalink
        February 21, 2015 5:10 pm

        This ^^^^ and that is all.

        Until next time.

    • Timotheus permalink
      February 21, 2015 6:32 am

      I am not cool with the Kent Death tables. I actually like him – his exemplary trolling and lack of self awareness makes the internets kinda interesting. I am not cool with a LOT of the shit we say here, sometimes we go too far. But I am in no position to cast stones, as I have said my fair share.

      Plus, if I start my white knighting again, I’ll just get called a fag again. And I’ll cry.

      Not that there is anything wrong with that.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 21, 2015 8:08 am

        Tim, at the risk of sounding like I’m blowing smoke up your ass, I have to say that you are the most good-hearted of this peanut gallery. The only other guy in the running is that Von feller.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 21, 2015 9:19 am

        I think one of the merits of YDIS is that you can vent your stupid shit in whatever form you deem personally acceptable without everyone leaping down your throat or losing their shit over it. You are judged on what you say, but almost never condemned for it(Kent/Mjollnir being the most noted exception).

        Does that include Mandy-ehler’s dahler syndrome-german shepard gangbanging or Kent Death tables? Only if it’s funny.

        Kent death Table 1d6:
        1. Teleportation mishap.
        2. Slain by mirror-universe American Kent, who lives in Louisiana and smokes a lot of pot.
        3. Argued out of existence by being confronted with his manifold inconsistencies and logical fallacies.
        4. Ran out of oxygen during routine EVA repair mission because of a simple multiplication error in determining the amount of oxygen he would need.
        5. Barrow Wights.
        6. Roll again.

      • Radovarl is seriously fatigued with all of this friggin BS and just wants to get back to not gaming and reading serious liddychore. permalink
        February 21, 2015 5:13 pm

        @PoN – I have occasionally also been taken to task for my ridiculous bloviating here, but it has almost always been well deserved. At least I haven’t been banned, can’t be banned, wouldn’t be banned if there were banning in the works, etc. For that, I am ever so slightly grateful.

      • Radovarl is seriously fatigued with all of this friggin BS and just wants to get back to not gaming and reading serious liddychore. permalink
        February 21, 2015 5:17 pm

        Oh, and by the way personal admission…. I probably would very much like mirror universe American Kent. Not so much the This Universe one. And for all of those Radovarl-watchers out there (oh, yes, no one here, but they exist on the fringes, I see ya there Clarkie), in the alternate universe I DON’T have a friggin’ awesome ass super wide goatee…. hisss…

      • February 21, 2015 10:43 pm

        I’m a sensitive guy with love in my heart for everyone. I’m sure it says in the Bible – not that I’ve read the Bible, but some Bible, somewhere – that we all have to be tolerant of amusing guys… and to be honest, I find Kent more amusing than any dozen shrilling Sabbaths or pompous leg-humping Funsters, so he gets the pass.

        (Kent Death tables were still funny though.)

      • February 22, 2015 7:50 am

        You just talked your way out of an invite to my Ambition & Avarice campaign, fucko.

      • February 23, 2015 12:34 am

        I’ll live.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 22, 2015 9:21 am

        That’s your loss, he’s totally welcome to play in my affirmative-consent griffin-sex cyberpunk industrial-espionage urban fantasy campaign, Blue Rose Hotel.

        “You meet in a cyber cafe in Shinjuku, owned by a genderqueer Minotaur- the word on the street is that the Minotaur, although a gaijin, has connections with the local Oni yakuza. The sky is the color of a crystal ball scrying a dead region of the Astral Plane.”

      • February 22, 2015 5:35 pm

        Any of you dudes who want to play in my survival horror game about American tourists getting killed by unicorns are welcome. It’s called Blue Rose Hostel.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 22, 2015 6:09 pm

        Anybody here familiar with original-edition Traveller rules? I’m thinking of adapting them for my homoerotic dinosaur space opera campaign.

      • OABD permalink
        February 22, 2015 8:03 pm

        Oscar Anderson Likes this.

  136. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    February 21, 2015 4:27 pm

    Better Call Serl

    Okay, Blooey is out, Serl of the Unblown is in.

    Welcome to Serleran’s Corner, where everything is as it was and nothing will be as it is.

    Here’s a sample of Serl’s wit from Blooey’s Nothin Right computer thread at Dragonsfart: “If nothing’s right, nothing’s also wrong.”

    Share your Serl thoughts, quips, and mockery below.

    • Radovarl is seriously fatigued with all of this friggin BS and just wants to get back to not gaming and reading serious liddychore. permalink
      February 21, 2015 5:22 pm

      Serleran is a member of the Acaeum. Enough stated. Period. Exclamation point…

      Okay, fer serious… I’ll dredge up some Acaeum goodies. Yes, yes, I still have an account, although MetaSigma, MetamorphosisSigma, Radovarl, GoCaptainSuzdal, and all the rest (several of which weren’t actually me, but poor schmucks the dickheads there witch-hunted out anyway…no seriously, like seven users) are sadly gone forever.

      IIRC, Serleran has made some major “collecting” idiot statements over there, and I’m uniquely qualified to suss them out for ya. Gimme a couple days, though.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 21, 2015 8:44 pm

        Please tell me he’s not one of those assholes who buys “fair” or “poor” quality stuff just to destroy it so his shit goes up in price.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 23, 2015 9:24 am

        I confess I buy print run only blOwSR zines and scan them to PDF so I can give them away at 7chan and piratebay just so they can’t make any money off of the unblown OCD collectors at Acaeum.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 23, 2015 9:42 am

        So you’re the guy who caused my sales of “Storoper Quarterly” to tank!

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      February 23, 2015 7:05 am

      Welcome to Serl’s Corner, the absolute gayest waste-of-space forum in the entire blOwSR.

      http://serls-corner.proboards.com/

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 23, 2015 9:19 am

        A whopping 27 members!

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        February 23, 2015 10:32 am

        I can’t understand its lack of popularity with such engaging topics as “The nature of turning” and “So…what now?” and “Hiatus”

  137. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    February 23, 2015 7:11 am

    It must be pointed out that Lesbian Witch Boy is proud to display tentacle hentai to his kids. From Faggi’s bloviated g+ thread linked above:

    “For the record. The cover of my Eldritch Witchery is hanging up in my game room where my kids can see it.
    http://timbrannan.blogspot.com/2013/12/lilith-can-be-yours.html

    Ummmmm…that is aggressively creepy.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 23, 2015 9:18 am

      Far too many sexual deviants in this hobby who like to push their perversions on the children. 😡

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 23, 2015 9:49 am

      The link is now broken, the post probably didn’t get the encomium that he expected so he junked it.

      These guys sure fold quickly, though in this case the fear of CPS knocking on the door probably played a role.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        February 23, 2015 10:29 am

        Wow, you’re right. He posted that link yesterday and it is already broken. I went to his website to link to the cover, and that took me to Drive-thru, only I had to verify my age to see the pic there (maybe that should have been an indicator of its appropriateness for children). You can see it on the left if you just go to his shitty blog. it is the picture with the naked pubescent witch getting tentacles shoved up her woo-woo.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 23, 2015 10:13 am

      Damn, since Oscar night was yestereve, the better comment would have been:

      “You went full Venger Satanis. Never go full Venger Satanis.”

  138. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 23, 2015 12:28 pm

    It’s weird when Grognards want to run games for their 9-10 year old kids. There is at least a couple regulars on DF who have admitted their group is like 9 year old kids. One newish poster last week said something about getting his wife and little kid to play in a game he ran, and he TPK’d them. Moms and dads who game, you’ve seen what kind of tards await gamers at cons and other venues. You should NOT want them to be gamers as they grow up. Throw jr. a fucking football, don’t kill his ranger. If you must run games for kids who are not post puberty at least, do it in the style of that 70’s Kiddie movie “Bugsy Malone.” Their Tommy guns fired coconut cream pies, and they rode around in pedal powered Model T’s. Have the kids characters ride around on hobby horses, and the swords are banana’s and the mace is a salami. That ogre holding the princess hostage in the cave isn’t raping her, he’s playing the “mommy doesn’t want a hug” game with her.

    • February 24, 2015 11:54 pm

      The “mommy doesn’t want a hug” game turns my stomach over – it’s a cutesy euphemism instead of an actual War on Grimdark. Have them both sitting in there playing cards ’cause the ogre just wants to be loved or some power-of-friendship stuff like that.

      That said, Bugsy Malone D&D sounds hilarious. Personally if I were backed into a corner and asked to run games for kids I think I’d have to watch Brave (again) and Frozen (on sufferance) and pitch it at about that level (no musical numbers though, I sing like a tone-deaf adenoidal Nick Cave and if we’re keeping the trauma out of the game that’s one thing nobody needs to hear).

  139. Kent permalink
    February 23, 2015 1:12 pm

    It is always about money with the Jews:

    http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.ie/2015/02/were-not-playing-d-with-escapist-ever.html?zx=7bcda4bca62843b2

    Transparently self-serving no? There is no dignity in these outbursts of moral vanity. Who decided trannies were culturally important?

    • bad wolf permalink
      February 23, 2015 2:50 pm

      Well look who plays the broken-clock card today.

      Tell us, Zakrates, how could i quit every time my employers hired (on a freelance basis?) someone i disagreed with?

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      February 23, 2015 2:54 pm

      Who is ZakAttack trying to fool? He was happy to take the Escapist’s money while that John C. Wright facist peddles his crap from the sister Republican clickbait site EveryJoe (home of the world famous and mega-rich RPGPlagairist). Now Zak’s crew found an ethical spine? Please.

      • February 25, 2015 5:40 am

        The timeline doesn’t add up. His crew were bailing on Macris two months ago and now out of the blue (balls) a trans-hating tweet pushes him over the edge?

        http://innuendostudios.tumblr.com/post/104288647532/why-the-escapist-wont-talk-about-gamergate

        Funny how Macris wrote Dwimmerdust. Is it the Fountainhead of megadungeons, swimming with ethics in fucking journalism and gendered violence? Or just another reactionary screed against the postmodern condition pulled from the crank file? Hurm.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        February 25, 2015 8:07 am

        I bet that dude takes it InTheEndo. But that does add a bit more context. It seems like the Escapist might have been considering bailing on Zak months ago, after learning that the new episodes featured extended scenes of Satine talking about her character. This new columnist was just an excuse for Zak to save face and make it look like the parting was his idea. Because actually, he is about ethics in journalism.

      • February 25, 2015 9:28 am

        Yeah, I’m picking up an InTheEndo vibe there too but whatever gets the juices flowing, I guess. So I’ve been out of the loop for a while, Zak is now the one that’s AGAINST free speech, FOR transsexuals and FOR one-strike blacklisting, right? Which means John Tarnowski also known as TheRPGPundit also known as Kasimir Urbanski at EveryJoe is now on the opposite site of all those issues? What assholes. Won’t somebody actually think of the ethics in journalism?

    • Kent permalink
      February 23, 2015 3:11 pm

      Notice how the emphasises the money. It could not be a principled stand unless there was money involved !

      So Jew !

      By the way did you notice too, how he threw in his lot with a bunch of put upon minorities by labeling himself a ‘Jew’. Ha, the most privileged and successful subgroup in the states and he is sniffing back tears with his motley-sexual metro-mescellany.

      “We’re the same. Boo hoo ! We’re sniff the saaaaaaaammmeeee !”

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 24, 2015 1:38 pm

      Blooey and the Jewie. Pedagogy of the Oppressed.
      Sigh! 😦

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      February 24, 2015 3:53 pm

      Christ that’s a new level of rabid SJW-activism. Are the stakes always this low? A corporation at some point hired someone who said he doesn’t want to call dudes with the brains of chicks chicks but he’s fine with them getting operations and going about their buisness on his twitter and everyone loses their shit like he just denied the holocaust existed and called for the eradication of all irishmen or something. If you SJW ameri-fags want to consistently boycot every organization affiliated with bigots or mysoginists you might want to stop paying taxes or driving cars btw.

  140. Kent permalink
    February 23, 2015 2:13 pm

    Also, Fargo is a better film than I remembered, and tonally quite rich or at least mixed. I don’t think Marge is quite as good a detective as Columbo but she has a fine set of choppers on her.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      February 23, 2015 3:36 pm

      Timothy and other Kunt lovers, come and give your boy a golf clap for another gem of an observation.

      “tonally quite rich or at least mixed”

      what the fuck are you talking about? And that Francis lady’s teeth turn you on?

    • Kent permalink
      February 23, 2015 4:06 pm

      Also Captain Kirks Dick Blood is exactly like the psycho in Fargo but with really bad breath and bald. Also CKDP would not be able to figure out how to use a wood chipper cos he only knows how to operate machinery he sticks his pus-greased dick into.

      Heh heh.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 23, 2015 7:27 pm

      No one has given a shit about Fargo in almost 20 years, Kunt.

  141. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 23, 2015 3:50 pm

    Ah, fuck it, 1d8 Kent Random Death Table:

    1. Aspirated 2d4 gallons of semen, roll on semen subtable.
    2. Garrotted with pink knee sock.
    3. Industrial accident, ground into consistency of hamburger, remains sold to north Texas nursing home dietary division. Meatloaf night 🙂
    4. Sepsis from perforated large intestine, entire collectors’ edition DVD series of Columbo found jammed up colon. Responding garda heard shouting, “What the Falk?”
    5. Infestation of stinkcock mushrooms, inspires J-horror film Kentango.
    6. Asphyxiation, head wrapped in plastic bag labeled “Bag of Morons” in felt-tipped pen. Three Games Workshop miniatures also found in bag.
    7. “Whale Lips” perforated with harpoon, peg-legged sea-captain sought.
    8. Deleted by own blog

    Semen Subtable
    1. Horse semen
    2. Walrus semen
    3. Ant semen
    4. Nematode semen
    5. Goblin semen
    6. Semen of unknown origin

    • Timotheus permalink
      February 23, 2015 5:09 pm

      Isn’t “Semen of Unknown Origin” the title of a Blue Oyster Kent album?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 23, 2015 5:40 pm

        It was a follow up to their previous collaboration, “Asses on Flame with Cock and Pole”.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        February 24, 2015 7:20 am

        Gives “Flaming Telepaths” a whole new meaning…

      • February 24, 2015 10:56 pm

        Given the lust our subject displays for the darkest of rumps, I’m surprised nobody went for “Black Blade”.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 23, 2015 7:29 pm

      Sperm whale lips?

  142. Kent permalink
    February 23, 2015 5:05 pm

    Can some expert explain Scott’e mental degeneracy which sees him now treating the aesthetic fraud Tao-of-DnD as Socrates?

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 23, 2015 5:44 pm

      Let it go, he’s just not that into you.

  143. Kent permalink
    February 23, 2015 5:17 pm

    Also, if you eat white chocolate while drinking scotch it is delicious and you can get through a bottle much quicker and choose a different flavour whiskey.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      February 23, 2015 5:25 pm

      Dude, women often refer to spunk as “White Chocolate.” You’ve actually just finally successfully trolled somebody. Yourself.

      No pudding until you’ve finished your spunk, Kunt. How can you expect to have any pudding if you don’t eat your spunk?

  144. Kent permalink
    February 23, 2015 5:32 pm

    Also, if I stick my left fist firmly up into Zak S’s vagina, with my right fist I could produce for the theater a PUNCH & JEWDY show.

  145. Kent permalink
    February 23, 2015 6:16 pm

    Also, I have just received a message from my SOUL from the year 4030 and she tells me that everything I am doing right now is viewed as AMAZING in the future and I should continue on AS I AM because I am a BEAUTY according toTHEM WHAT KNOW THINGS in the year 4030.

    Excellent. I knew I was amazing !!!!!!!

  146. Kent permalink
    February 23, 2015 7:07 pm

    Also, my ROUND ATHLETES BUTTOCKS are so enticing that Zak’s girlfriend Mandy & Friends want to spend an afternoon oiling them up for their own pleasure.

    Adultery.

    Hey, that’s the price I pay for being the best DM in the real world.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 24, 2015 4:04 am

      Will you please stop auditioning for Scott about doing gay, or at least just sext him directly and leave us out of it?

    • Kent's Rectum permalink
      February 24, 2015 4:06 am

      “Also, my ROUND ATHLETES BUTTOCKS are so enticing…”

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      No.

      • February 24, 2015 10:52 pm

        You’re just trying to protect yourself.

  147. Kent permalink
    February 23, 2015 7:30 pm

    Another thing, people say I am like Woody Allen but gorgeous. Perhaps. Then again, I think Woody Allen respected Joyce more than any 20th century writer but he didn’t place him in Midnight In Paris and I can’t quite figure out why even though I am much smarter than anyone who will read this.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 24, 2015 2:44 pm

      But Woody’s a JEW! A Jew and therefore MONEY!!!!

  148. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 23, 2015 7:34 pm

    I suspect that Kent’s anti-Semitic rants, which are ostensibly aimed at Zak, are really rooted in Kent’s rage toward Alexis. I don’t know if Lexi is Jewish, though he did make a reference to the knives used in kosher slaughterhouses once.

    Kent is upset because Alexis’ milkshake brings Scott to the yard, while all Kent can offer is a handful of stupidly defaced “Zocchis”. Kent, realizing that he has been bested by this Canadian usurper, then lashes out at every Jew he knows, namely Zak, because he is afraid to take on Lexi directly.

    Now we see the sad spectacle of Kent wallowing in self pity- he is financially strapped so he’s drinking cheap knockoff whisky (he can’t afford Laphroig, so he’s drinking the bootleg Laphreak, which is adulterated with paint thinner) and obsessively singing that “Doncha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me?” song to a four-color dot-matrix printout of Scott’s profile pic, captioned with a hastily scrawled “Naughty Butt”.

    He was a king here once, now he’s a sad, gay wino, dreaming of his own oiled ass and Frances McDormand’s teeth.

  149. Kent permalink
    February 23, 2015 7:56 pm

    Now then I am running out of scotch so finally I will say that Montaigne says that Plato says that 18 is an age fit for drinking but that 40 is an age for getting drunk. No-one here except me is forty years old surely (most of you are in your teens) and this is why I give you so much ADVICE you stupid teenage fucks.

    Goodbye now children.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 24, 2015 2:43 am

      Cheer up, Kent. You may be just a drunk, sad, middle-aged poofter now, but if you survive the next twenty-five years, you’ll get to experience the joy of meatloaf night 🙂

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 24, 2015 1:42 pm

      I’m walking dead. Can’t get this computer to act right, it colder than hell, nasty weather, out of meds, no help. I keep bugging MS but I can’t get a reliable connection. :blueangry:

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 24, 2015 2:45 pm

        No Meds! 😦

  150. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    February 23, 2015 11:05 pm

    Teenagers don’t play these moldie oldie games. They play the new hotness, 5E. Or at least they would if the books weren’t like 50 bucks each. The reason the average OSR product only sells like 200 copies is because their target demographic is steadily moving into the Old Folks Home.

    SIGH!

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 24, 2015 1:43 pm

      From hot and humid to snow! :flumph:

    • February 24, 2015 10:50 pm

      At least bloodymage will be able to get a face-to-face group together again. Some small solace, but there it is.

  151. bloodymage permalink
    February 24, 2015 1:40 pm

    Well, I returned to bitch about MS. Try and try and try and I can’t get remote service from MS. I did once and this stupid machine was halfway fixed but now I try to chat, and I get “page doesn’t redirect correctly.” I’ve done everything to keep this damn machine squeaky clean and it’s still jacked up.

    I need remote assistance. I’m about deaf, blind, I hurt all the time, still out of meds.

    Tried some things, still f**ed up.

    I quit.

  152. Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
    February 24, 2015 2:38 pm

    You know, I actually put down or beloved old-school RPGs down for a while and did the phone MMO thing. I came to my senses recently and deleted that shite off my phone. As bad as we old schoolers, can get, that shit is a cesspool of coke-addled trust fund fucks. We may pay for some dumb shit in the OSR, but all of it’s better than paying out money for the privilege of kow-towing to borderline psychopaths.

    I guess I’m just saying our fucks may be fucks but at least they use their creativity to come up with shit to make fun of– which is more than you can say for most of the assholes on the internet.

    And yes, it’s fun to make fun of the babbling OSR G+ and BBS threads, but the sad truth is the general level of the discourse on most of the internet doesn’t even rise to the level of being intelligent enough to have fun making fun of it. Go into the comments section of any news article on the web, and you’re likely to run into some poster who makes Kent look like a fuckin’ genius. Fucked as he is, Kent has at least some evidence of education, and every once in a while he makes a small bit of sense.

    Which is why I’m getting my real life gaming group back together.”Gobble, gobble, one of us, one of us….” We may be fucked, but fuck it.

    p.s.: this ain’t some faggity plea for us to starting being nicer to each other–KEEP ON HATING, BITCHES! IT’S WHATS BINDS US PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAINWRECKS TOGETHER!

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      February 24, 2015 4:48 pm

      You must be a real fucking loser.

      • Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
        February 25, 2015 12:08 pm

        I’m here, you’re here….we’re all losers dumbass. If you can even comprehend the inbred humor on this blog, you are an aspie fucktard by definition.

        Gobble, gobble!

      • Timotheus permalink
        February 25, 2015 12:23 pm

        It’s cool, Fatty, I think DI was just following your orders from the last sentence of your prior post.

      • Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
        March 6, 2015 9:52 am

        AWWWWW.

  153. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    February 24, 2015 3:59 pm

    In a startling twist after his anti-Semitic rants, Kent converts to ultra-Orthodox Judaism.

    • February 24, 2015 4:01 pm

      Your mohel is suck

    • FEAR OF THE BLOWN CIRCUMCISION permalink
      February 24, 2015 8:08 pm

      Oral suction circumcision? Damn those Jews are pedophile perverts! Well, that explains why Zak Princess is so fucked up.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      February 24, 2015 8:42 pm

      The octogenarian who did 35,000 of them must wake up in the morning like that “Time to make the doughnuts” guy.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 25, 2015 8:20 am

      Not to go all Mjollnir here, and not say I support the Holocaust in any way, shape, or form, but I have to admit I can kind of see how Hitler might be disgusted by these guys….

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 25, 2015 8:21 am

        …not TO say I support…

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 25, 2015 11:12 am

        And let’s not forget he did miracles on the German Autobahn…

  154. PrinceofNothing permalink
    February 25, 2015 11:20 am

    But in all seriousness children, i think we might have a shot at an interview with High Archon of the Outer Church Venger Satanis himself. I think it’s an opportunity we cannot ignore. Some of us will fall, yes, but if the price of everlasting recognition in the community we love and adore is a few bodies collapsing into the hot sand or being carted off to Arkham Asylum, gibbering all the way, it is a price we must pay, and pay with pride.

    I think the questionaire is best developed as follows; each productive member of the community contributes several questions, with the most worthy questions being selected by whatever personage feels he(or hypothetical she) is worthy enough to make the attempt.

    • February 25, 2015 12:21 pm

      It would be nice to pick his nose on Inside The Cleric’s Handbook stuff like theology and Austin “Powers” Spare and the Mauve Zone and shit but the three things I really want to know are:

      1. If shoving a dried horse dong up your rump gave you psychic powers would you do it?

      2. Would you eat road kill?

      3. You are a passenger on a plane which is about to crash. The plane is not a jet and so you have a chance to parachute to safety. With the other passengers, you stand in line and take one of the parachutes which the crew hands out to you. There is one problem. The people ahead of you on the line are already jumping out. But you have a four-month-old baby with you and it is too large to button into your clothing. Yet you must have both hands free in order to (a) pull the emergency ripcord in the event of the parachute failing to open, (b) guide the chute to safety if you see danger below. The baby is crying. The people behind you are pressing forward. Someone helps you struggle into the harness and hands you back your baby. Even if you did hold the baby in both hands and pray that you had an easy descent, there is every possibility he could be yanked from your grip as you jumped. There are a few more seconds to go before you miss your chance to get out of the plane. What do you do?

    • Timotheus permalink
      February 25, 2015 12:33 pm

      1) What is the metaphysical basis of blowing Cthulhu allowing you to GayMaster like a boss?

      2) Do evil powers come in anything besides green and purple?

      3) How do you refute the notion that Cthulhu powers are stronger than Rogaine?

      4) Isn’t it kinda embarrassing that your evil ultimate god got run over by a boat with a bad engine doing 20 knots tops?

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        February 25, 2015 2:14 pm

        Yeah, would that boat ramming shit work on the likes of Galactus or even Fin Fang Foom? I think not. But that just might be my 40 year old comics talking.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 25, 2015 3:41 pm

        2) Do evil powers come in anything besides green and purple?

        Yes, squamous and rugose.

  155. kingofalltherotten permalink
    February 25, 2015 11:40 am

    If we are going to get moral all of a sudden and consider the lives of some people like Bloodymage, is anyone else aware that Brave Halfling lost two children under 10 within a year? That is after losing his job and having to move and he is a minister. John gets a lot of abuse here and quite frankly, I am surprised the guy didn’t hang himself. I know the guy is years late with getting stuff out, but damn, losing two kids while being a minister has got to tear into a person too.

    I enjoy kicking pretentious pricks like zakky all day long, but some people have it pretty bad.

    • Timotheus permalink
      February 25, 2015 12:21 pm

      Fuck, I didn’t know he lost two kids. But I thought we had kinda eased up on anyway, him compared to a few years ago, just some comments like the cleric/thief archetype. Hard to tell, its a rough crowd.

    • February 25, 2015 12:41 pm

      At one time I thought that the treatment John Adams gets here was undeserved. That was before I was witness to his outright lies. No decent human being would make light of the deaths of children, but not even that tragedy is an excuse to lie to the people who support your business.

    • February 25, 2015 12:59 pm

      I wish Adams hadn’t used me as an excuse for the weirdly scattered fulfillment on his Kickstarter obligations. Made me feel like me and my flock were getting in the way of his OSR thing, whatever that is. (I still don’t know.) I hate to get in the way of whatever you little sons of Adam are really into.

      The babies are always sad business though. It’s a sad planet for you guys sometimes. Morbid with her thing, Smith’s fucking hairline, whatever’s up with you other ones. I take full responsibility for the sad things.

      Another fine message from
      GOD

      • Baron von Munchausen (by Proxy) permalink
        February 25, 2015 6:20 pm

        Everybody knows what causes miscarriages. It’s bad luck to let Jews in

    • February 25, 2015 2:43 pm

      I may have to check my fetus privilege here, but those kids were still in utero and they were years apart. It’s a sad sitch and all, but honestly I don’t count miscarriages as equivalent to actual child death, even though the Adams’ went the whole funeral route with tiny caskets and everything. And I don’t want to pile on and get into a discussion about it, so I’ll leave it at that.

      (Although a heartless prick might note that apparently John’s wife also has difficulty making good on deliveries. And I will not apologize for that joke.)

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        February 25, 2015 3:42 pm

        C’mon, guys. Sheesh. I thought they were talking about 5-10 year old kids or something. A miscarriage sucks and is hardest on the woman, but is is certainly not like finding out you have ass cancer (Kent’s death table item #89) or a brain tumor, much less having a young child snuff it.

        Really? Tiny caskets? Egad.

      • February 25, 2015 3:42 pm

        *golfclap* That was terrible and I’m terrible for smirking at it.

        “It could be worse” doesn’t, of course, make it any less awful than it is, but… is it OK to express one’s condolences to someone in a bad spot and let them off the hook for a bit? Absolutely. Does that provide a blanket absolution, an indulgence as it were, for all sins past and future? Absolutely not.

      • kingofalltherotten permalink
        February 25, 2015 6:16 pm

        Actually, from what I heard they were kids under ten and not miscarriages, so maybe this is an odd deal, I just know I had a conversation with him 3-4 years ago and he was pretty torn up.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 25, 2015 6:17 pm

        Technically, miscarriages are kids under ten too….

    • Baron von Munchausen (by Proxy) permalink
      February 25, 2015 6:21 pm

      We all know his wife offed those kids. It’s so obvious.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 25, 2015 7:02 pm

        Damn, that’s harsh even by the standards of this place!

    • Scott permalink
      February 25, 2015 7:05 pm

      I remember when one of his children died. Someone (the rape guy*?) joked about it and it was quickly and universally and rightfully declared off limits. That’s untouchable.

      That hasn’t been a factor in his being pilloried here for his business practices since then as far as I know.

      But Jesus, don’t joke about someone’s kids dying. That has nothing to do with hucksterism or pretension or intellectual dishonesty or general faggotry. This isn’t a chan, you idiots. What the fuck is wrong with you? God almighty. Have some fucking pride.

      (* I was kind of an asshole about that thing)

      • Kent permalink
        February 25, 2015 7:37 pm

        Who’s the rape guy?

      • Scott permalink
        February 25, 2015 7:40 pm

        JRT maybe? I don’t remember the name. It was someone here accused of what someone here would predictably be accused of, and I said something along the lines of “LOL some asshole from here did raep” and uterine linings were sloughed left and right

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        February 25, 2015 7:40 pm

        Yeah, this. +1 or whatever fuck fag thing we do here to signify approval.

      • February 25, 2015 7:48 pm

        Instead of joking about it, can we discuss if a miscarriage merits the same regard as losing an actual 10-year-child? We’re talking 2nd trimester here. I say “No.” I think the loss should be mourned, but busting out tiny caskets and digging out a plot in the cemetery and behaving as if the loss is identical is bizarre to me and creepy, and maybe even a little disrespectful to the living children.

      • Scott permalink
        February 25, 2015 8:12 pm

        I’m not going to bust out the fainting couch or traipse out personal anecdotal evidence, but yeah, losing a kid you expected to have is significant. No idea how it weighs on the tragedy scale. (This did *not* happen to me personally but I’m familiar with the situation and it’s pretty fucked up.)

      • February 25, 2015 8:21 pm

        “No idea how it weighs on the tragedy scale.”

        Nigga, please.

      • Kent permalink
        February 25, 2015 8:20 pm

        I haven’t mocked the guy (Im vain about whom I target outside of YDIS) but I did always think he had two daughters(?) who died in a car crash, I remember a photograph of caskets at a ceremony. Miscarriage effects averted eyes and a change of subject, in all honesty it is something that is usually kept private. A dead child is rare and grave, but as I don’t know the guy it’s none of my business if he made the one seem the other because of some odd ministry. You don’t learn anything significant about anyone snooping around online.

      • February 25, 2015 8:32 pm

        It’s certainly a grim tally: one child stillborn, one child died the day after being born, one miscarriage.

        http://bravehalfling.blogspot.com/2014/12/finally-dealing-with-grief.html

        He’s found the right calling. His faith in God is unshakable.

      • Scott permalink
        February 25, 2015 8:31 pm

        “Nigga, please.”

        I’ve known one girl who had a close-to-term miscarriage and one whose child died very shortly after delivery. Both flipped the fuck out and handled it in ways that seemed pretty weird from the outside, even allowing for grief. I’m not equipped to calibrate that on a scale vs. a dead “real kid.”

        (Not trying to be my usual Pollyanna-faggoty self, but it’s a pretty fucked up thing.)

      • Kent permalink
        February 25, 2015 9:33 pm

        –“I’m not equipped to calibrate that on a scale vs. a dead “real kid.”–

        Let me put it this way to make it easy for you, anyone who is comfortable with abortion but considers miscarriage a tragedy is an idiot.

      • Scott permalink
        February 25, 2015 9:50 pm

        I appreciate your solicitude and wish you good luck with your fitness goals in 2015.

      • February 25, 2015 11:03 pm

        Oh for fuck’s sake, Kent. One’s a choice and one’s an accident and I don’t think even the most rabidly pro-abortion activist is going to pretend that it’s a totally offhand decision or something you want sprung on you by surprise.

        I know you’re a MATHEMATICIAN but try to be less pure-S.T.E.M. soulless and actually THINK. I know you can. You’re not Zak. You can see the shades of grey, right?

        (Actually, have you seen Fifty Shades? Can we expect a succinctly tuned non-review in the fashion of Black Swan? Are you actually going to enjoy it?)

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 26, 2015 8:54 am

        Forget it, Von, it’s Kenttown.

        Kent has an authoritarian mindset, though (thankfully) no authority. People like Kent have a hard time understanding the concept of consent. Kent isn’t a big fan of female agency, so he cannot distinguish between the planned termination of an unwanted pregnancy and the tragic loss of a desired fetus.

        It might be a bit facile to characterize Kent as a sociopath, but he does exhibit some of the traits. Your attempts to humanize him, though admirable, are destined to fail- he has all the self-awareness of a rotifer.

      • Kent permalink
        February 26, 2015 9:32 am

        I have no dog in the abortion debate, however, abortion is only tenable under the principle that a foetus has very low worth and that the worth of a late foetus grows and that of a new born infant grows with time until society agrees it is human.

        Anyone who is “comfortable” with abortion, which is what I said, has to have convinced themselves of the low worth of a foetus and so logically a miscarriage for them should be insignificant unless they are stupid.

        A woman who has an a abortion one year and a miscarriage the next won’t get any sympathy from me. She doesn’t get to decide the importance of a foetus at her convenience. In our culture women now have the right to decide for themselves the worth of a foetus growing inside them — but they have to stick with the decision surely.

        A woman who is uncomfortable with abortion and has a miscarriage, now for her I have the greatest sympathy.

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 26, 2015 9:48 am

        Everyone gets 987xp. I gave you half for avoided encounters.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 26, 2015 9:59 am

        And there you have it, Von, directly from dubious consent Kent himself. You’d have an easier time teaching a capybara to walk on its hind legs and speak English than you’d have teaching Kent to be human.

      • February 26, 2015 10:50 pm

        “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.”

        I’m willing to accept the existence of someone to whom an abortion is just business as usual, something to be shrugged off – but surely you can see the difference between that person and the person for whom it’s a difficult decision, and see how those two people might react differently to being surprised by their own bodies taking the decision out of their hands?

        Someone spends a month agonising over whether or not to abort and suffers, i.e. is uncomfortable, with regard to the decision. That person is different from someone who can say “whatevs, just abort”. Can you understand that difference? Do you acknowledge it?

        Or is the problem around ‘comfortable’ – are you saying that once the decision has been made we have passed from a state of comfort to a state of non-comfort? If we’re talking about logic, there’s a false binary here – ‘comfortable’/’uncomfortable’, on/off, and people simply don’t work like that.

        Learning to live with the outcome of your choices doesn’t automatically mean you 100% endorse them and would do exactly the same again, which is what you seem to be suggesting. That might be correct according to strict binary on/off logic but it’s fucking stupid in terms of real human beings who experience guilt, regret, trauma etc. etc. Again: do you understand the distinction here?

        At the end of the day I have no immediate stake in the affair either. I agree that abortion depends on a low estimation of the worth of a foetus and the drawing of a rather arbitrary line over when something counts as ‘human’. Ultimately it’s not my place to draw that line unless it’s my own child and I’d be a damned fool to suggest any sort of universal rule or principle would be applicable there. Sometimes we don’t know where we stand until the time comes to stand there.

        I just think it’s rotten to have no choice in the matter at all. Body says no. That sucks.

        (BLF, this isn’t about teaching so much as it’s about moral dissection. I want to know the rationale here and see why it doesn’t square with what seems obvious to me. It’s not about improving Kent so much as about satisfying my curiosity.)

      • February 27, 2015 6:57 am

        Are you retarded? Why are you debating with someone who’s fucking with you? Are you trying to clamber into the Bag of Morons?

      • February 27, 2015 8:38 am

        Because it amuses me to call someone a muppet and it amuses him to have someone bite on the hooks. It’s called a win-win situation. I’m sure you’ve heard of them.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 27, 2015 7:22 pm

        You give Kent too much credit, he doesn’t have a S.T.E.M. brain, just a brain stem. There’s no moral underpinning for his stance on miscarriages, merely a deep-seated hatred of women. A “moral dissection” of Kent would reveal nothing more than spite and animus. A physical dissection of him would reveal that, instead of a cerebral cortex, he has a hypertrophied gall bladder nestled inside his cranium, along with an oversized amygdala. Kent is nothing more than an ambulatory hagfish with delusions of literacy.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        March 1, 2015 1:04 pm

        I disagree vehemently. I think a dissection of Kent would reveal several organs hithereto unknown to medical science. Five tiny frontol lobes locked into an endless battle for control via virulent invasive growth of motor neuron-like growths. A sock-puppet inhibitor located ‘neath the occipital lobe. A strange alchemical organ that turns bog water into low quality alcohol located in place of the thalamus.

        Ah the wonders, the horrors.
        #DissectKent

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        March 1, 2015 1:05 pm

        Edit: MOTOR NEURON LIKE DENDRITES

  156. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 25, 2015 2:21 pm

    I’m actually fairly unfamiliar with the Brave Hobbit guy or his works. But yeah, even the loss of one kid would keep me at bay. But if the father you are estranged from for years is sick and you use that as an excuse not to follow through on easy peasy work you were paid for, you have a horribly disabled gal pal you use both as a means of fame and as a human shield like an ISIS mook, or if you are just a deluded and eternally (often comically) depressed vet who can’t understand why nobody wants his piss poor modules and coffee mugs, well, then it’s on bitch!

    • Scott permalink
      February 25, 2015 8:06 pm

      I never had a personal problem with James because I wasn’t retarded enough to give money ahead of time to a “musings” guy for a product I wouldn’t use for free. And everyone deals with loss in their own way. But when I’ve had to deal with loss, I’ve gone back to work after a couple days off at most because that’s what you do when you have a job and people depend on you. That’s why people familiar with the real world stretch an eyebrow at “dad died, couldn’t work for a year, sorry about your $48k.” That’s horseshit. Relentlessly fucking with people like that is the Lord’s work.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      February 25, 2015 9:53 pm

      Losing three children would be enough to unhinge the most even-keeled person in this day and age. I’ve been reading up on this kerfuffle on the “Goodman Games” forum, and there is a gamut of opinion regarding his business ethics (shipping to bricks-and-mortar stores before shipping to Kickstarter backers is, to me, his biggest sin here). I seem to remember some asshole linking to his “Little Angel” post, which went over about as well as a fart in church.

      I’ll always see JMal as the biggest cleric/thief, the Pope of the Order of Sacerdotal Robbers, if you will. That being said, I didn’t back his Kickstarter (or any other gaming Kickstarter), and I actually think that it’s hilarious that he, a prissy paleocon, took glibertarian Alex Macris’ money and “went Galt” on his ass. Ayn Rand would have approved, though she would have hated JMal’s pious ass.

  157. Kent permalink
    February 25, 2015 2:26 pm

    Im on a roll lately with great movie watching since my external harddrive died and I had to regather films illegally in better resolution (blu-ray). Don’t worry it’s ok for super intellectuals to get stuff for free because inevitably we act indirectly as influential cultural critics.

    So, today I recommend Dog Day Afternoon and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – Kirsten Dunst and Kate Winslet in the same movie! How unlucky are those broads that I keep a low profile (tasteful, modest), they are probably hitched to a couple o’ squares.

    • February 25, 2015 3:36 pm

      I haven’t seen ‘Dog Day Afternoon’ but ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ was quality and made me think twice about the memory-hole habit.

      • Kent permalink
        February 25, 2015 3:50 pm

        Ive seen it a few times now and even as it becomes less confusing it remains deep. It is lightly didactic, to be happier make better decisions in the moment and be tolerant and forgiving in the long term. And on my copy Kate Winslet shows me her butt, Im pretty sure that loving gesture isn’t on any other print.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 25, 2015 7:46 pm

        The very notion of you contemplating her posterior is what drove her to purge her memory.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      February 25, 2015 3:52 pm

      Isn’t Dog Day Afternoon the movie with Michael and Fredo Corleone, except one wants a sex change or something? Does this one hit too close to home, Kuntina?

      • Kent permalink
        February 25, 2015 5:09 pm

        That’s just about the dumbest thing Ive ever read.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 25, 2015 6:16 pm

      No one gives a fuck, Kunt. No one gives a fuck. Did you even look for a job today?

      • Kent permalink
        February 25, 2015 6:30 pm

        Yeah I found a job for you minding young retards, but you will have to prove your worth. You will have to mind them not just hang around with them.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        February 25, 2015 7:17 pm

        Don’t take that job, old chum, minding Kent would be the worst sort of ordeal.

  158. Scott permalink
    February 25, 2015 10:02 pm

    I’ve been wearing out “The Bastard” album by Hammers of Misfortune. The clean male vocals are the singer from Slough Feg. It’s presented play-style with different vocalists representing different roles, and there’s bits that are traditional metal, speed, black, etc. The project has been going for a while and has switched lineups several times, but this particular album will interest fantasy dorks who like indie/underground metal. It’s fun, there’s demons and a dragon and a Stormbringer-axe and trolls and what-not.

    (It doesn’t work well as individual tracks in a rotation … definitely an “album” album.)

    • Scott permalink
      February 25, 2015 10:07 pm

      I’m sorry, I forgot to post a link for penurious faggots:

      • February 25, 2015 10:20 pm

        Anyone beat 43 seconds?

      • February 25, 2015 10:50 pm

        Six minutes in and it sounds a bit like The Vision Bleak but with fantasy instead of gothic/Lovecraftian themes. I quite like it.

      • February 25, 2015 10:59 pm

        So seriously now, and I’m talking about this kind of music in general, in those parts where the singing becomes super affected, with like crazy gay falsetto shit going on and the instrumentation is almost like circus music… we agree that sounds fucking goofy, right? And our difference of opinion is that I think it sounds goofy in the ridiculous sense and I laugh at it, and you think it sounds goofy but you laugh with it?

        I’m trying to understand why non-children listen.

      • February 25, 2015 11:08 pm

        That’s exactly it. This shit is ridiculous but it’s ridiculous in a kind of…

        Sorry, the track that starts 20 minutes in has just started and it sounds like someone’s kid wrote it by banging their chubby fist on the guitar strings while tugging the cat’s tail with the other hand. Taking atonal too far.

        Anyway. It’s ridiculous, it’s amusing, and I imagine it’s all the more laughable because you have to take this stuff ultra-seriously in order to make it work but anyone with a glimmer of humanity in them must be laughing at themselves on the inside. Like how the bloke out of Cradle of Filth is this quiet, slightly snarky bloke from the least metal town in the UK, and seems up for a giggle at his own expense while he’s out of the makeup – but for his risible act to work he has to be 100% into it while he’s doing it and I kinda admire that dedication to goofery. Circus music is right. These people are clowns, and clowns are fucking tragic. Terry Pratchett has them nailed.

      • February 26, 2015 6:49 am

        OK, thanks. This makes more sense. I’ll try it again, properly contextualized.

      • Scott permalink
        February 25, 2015 11:38 pm

        Metal vocals are supposed to be goofy and weird. All of the best metal vocalists sound super gay. Seriously? The genre built on Ozzy, Dio, Halford, and Dickinson, that’s the one where we’re going to act like stylized dipshit vocals are gay? “Shit, these vocals are gay, made me drop my turkey leg” … I can’t even think of a single decent traditional metal band where the vocals aren’t pride parade material. Jesus, don’t even get Manilla Road or Cirith Ungol in there.

        (Also,