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Polyhedron Games LLC is back in the news

July 30, 2013

Thank you Arneson’s Spectre for pointing out tireless entrepreneur bloodymage is back out on the angel investor beat, looking for deep pockets backers who can raise funding in the $0.96-1.10 range to capitalize Polyhedron Games LLC 2.0:

http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=62104

After scouring payphone coin slots and beneath the bill changer at the laundromat, I’m on board at the ‘Beholder Level’ of funding: 3.75 shares common (non-voting) stock, the title “Senior Vice President of Saving Throw Conversions,” and I’m responsible for 75,000 words monthly in new projects and ad copy.

Does this sound exciting to you? [WARNING: link NSFComputers Lacking Enterprise-Level MalWare Safeguards] Join the dream. bloodymage has kindly provided me with an updated list of positions available at Polyhedron:

  • Artist
  • Editor (copy/layout)
  • Janitor (incl. windows/screens)
  • Webmaster/online marketer
  • Reichskommissar (Belgien-
    Nordfrankreich, Kaukasus, Don-Wolga, et. al.)
  • Vice Legate to the Greek Cypriot Mission
  • Typist (experience with Brother P-touch required)
  • Receptionist
  • Marketing Director, Guangzhou Special Economic Division
  • Fulfillment (must relocate to Bangladesh)
  • Cartographer
  • Co-founder (IMPORTANT: POSITION REQUIRES $2+ INVESTMENT)
  • Director, S.H.I.E.L.D.
  • Driver
  • Assistant Cartographer
  • Executive Chef
  • Senior Vice President, Narnia

Phase One of the new plan of attack is a social media blitz comprised of gettin’ the good word out about our products… WHO WANTS FREE COPIES?!?!?!?

http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=62332

35 Comments leave one →
  1. Zarathustra permalink
    July 30, 2013 10:12 am

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=62104
    “But…if you get stiff leather pouches made make sure you take them home and work them for a week to make them more supple.”
    Curse him forever for making me imagine Bloodymage working his leathery dice bag.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      July 30, 2013 3:01 pm

      “In Prescott you should be able to find someone who can whip out leather bags at very low cost.”

      It’s like they are deliberately writing their replies to Blooey in hopes they find their way here.

  2. The Fire Giant That Killed Black Dougal permalink
    July 30, 2013 10:41 am

    First!

    Damn.

    Nevermind.

  3. Bob's Cunt permalink
    July 30, 2013 11:11 am

    Please tell me that this living abortion does not have children and is incapable of breeding.

  4. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    July 30, 2013 11:28 am

    Ha! See! You chumps doubted Oh Captain My Captain, but I had faith all along. I knew he would stop worrying about the mormons, getting his furniture moved into whereever he is living that month, waiting on invisible gamers to show up to his D&D Meetups at the local Denny’s, about flying cross country to cons just to not be able to get rides to the event once in town, and porking drooling, squinty-faced dog walkers. His eyes are on the prize! Here’s keeping the fingers crossed that he starts video blogging like Raggi does so hilariously, so we can hear the good word from the man himself.

    And fuck Comicon. I’m so excited about being able to soon go to Blooeycon and meet my hero in person. Buy him a sody pop. How you like him now?

    • Timothy permalink
      July 30, 2013 11:48 am

      I’m just worried that if I fly out to Bloodeycon, I won’t find anybody to give me a ride the rest of the way. Even if I am bringing the sporks. And the “Die Orc Die” Classic thongs.

  5. Timothy permalink
    July 30, 2013 11:49 am

    I am all over that Exectutive Chef position for Polyhedron. Nobody can open Doritos bags and unsheath the Twinkies and Ho Ho’s like me, motherfuckers. Nobody.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      July 30, 2013 4:14 pm

      I checked the fine print on the application for chef, and apparently if you use the “bite the corner of the bag/container off with your canine tooth and spit it across the room” technique to open chips and snack cakes you need not apply. Bloodymage has seen too much of that over the years on the convention floor. Also, you have to pay for your own “two hots and a cot” upkeep costs in the kitchen sleeping area. But hey, hard to put a price on a camping bed and a couple of L’il Debbies a day.

      I’m sort of partial to the Vice President Narnia thing. Do I have to have read the Narnia books if I want to apply? Cause from what I’ve seen of the movies it seems awefully gay.

  6. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    July 30, 2013 12:38 pm

    I’m in as Blooey’s new driver. I just have to get him to within 70 miles of any convention, from there he’s on his own. Almost took Director of SHIELD but the job description wasn’t as cool as it sounds. I would have been responsible for making sure the women’s bathroom was stocked with plus size panty shields.

    Speaking of which, wish me luck. I’m pitching my Tampon Magic sourcebook to Blooey later today. Complete with a new Menstrual Mage class.

  7. Kent permalink
    July 30, 2013 5:41 pm

    I doubt any of you knob-heads are still in contact with members of your family but if any of you have beautiful, intelligent and virginal sisters or nieces send them over to my blog. It has been some time since I have practiced my B-movie Bond blarney.

    Not once has a pretty woman with a great ass commented on my blog – it seems it has all been for nothing.

    • Kent's Rectum permalink
      July 30, 2013 6:57 pm

      After he does your sister’s hair and redecorates her apartment to lure her into a false sense of security, Kent plans to seduce her boyfriend with a blow job.

    • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
      July 31, 2013 4:49 am

      It’s hard to send women to a blog that has been removed half the time, Kent.

  8. The Poster Formerly Known As Timothy permalink
    July 31, 2013 6:38 am

    Seems like the blOwSR is starting to see Faggi for what he is:

    http://www.tenkarstavern.com/2013/07/some-thoughts-on-latest-lotfp-release.html#comment-form

    A token “Raggi is God!” cocksucker in the comments, but the rest of those kiddies are finally showing some cognitive ability. Maybe they are serving smart drinks at the Turdshack.

    • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
      July 31, 2013 9:07 am

      The comments on Tenkar’s G+ repost of that had more apologia from Raggi’s sycophants. It’s funny that people who are into his rapegames and zombie-fisting art are actually the most easily offended crybabies of the OSR.

      • July 31, 2013 10:14 am

        Hahaha, that beardo who opens with the classic nerd “I’m amused with this shit,” segues nimbly into how wonderful and brave and handsome +Zak Smith is for crusading against “teh TIPPERZ,” then lampshades “I don’t mean to be pedantic” to justify a 500-FUCKING-word comment. It’s like a one-man bingo night.

        Location: Tenkar’s Outhouse (“in cloaca”)
        Drinking: Gandhi’s own piss

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      July 31, 2013 11:00 am

      More like that Fatass Faggi’s attempt to be edgy and yet commercial is wearing a little thin on some in the OSR. After all they will forgive a misogynistic man child his faults as long as he keeps quiet and relatively out of sight, but for an attention deprived fuck like Faggi, that’s asking to much.

      Oh, I loved the Faggi White Knight named Degenerate Elite at Tenkar’s Turdhole defending his lord and masters edgy progressive work:”The development of the 30 Years War as a setting is much more groundbreaking than another set of “rules based upon the original role-playing game”.

      LOL! The response was not long in coming. From bad wolf:”Using the 30 Year’s War is pretty groundbreaking, if you never saw HR4 A Mighty Fortress published in 1992.” I bet Degenerate Elite don’t even lift.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      July 31, 2013 3:21 pm

      Who knew that Raggi was a “Gossip Girl” fan?

    • The Fire Giant That Killed Black Dougal permalink
      August 2, 2013 8:10 am

      “This blog has become the OSR’s BS detector, and it’s very important.”

      When did Tenkar’s Tavern get higher visibility on Google searches than YDIS?

  9. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    July 31, 2013 11:51 am

    “I don’t mean the “morally outraged” kind of offense he obviously imagines with relish — I mean the “eeeewww, something smells weird, let’s go eat somewhere else” kind of offense”

    That comment sums up Raggi’s crap for me. I know he likes to think that anybody that doesn’t dig his or Zaks stuff is some kind of Mrs. Kravitz peeking out the window angrily making the shame finger, but it is exactly “ewwwww, gross little girly men…”

    Fat, goateed manchildren with grease stains on their t-shirts snickering over the mix of sex, anguish, and violence because a regular ol’ booby shot don’t do it for them anymore.

    • Bob's Cunt permalink
      July 31, 2013 2:05 pm

      Does anyone know if Raggi had involvement with F.A.T.A.L.?

      • Shitty McTits permalink
        July 31, 2013 3:55 pm

        Do you consider frenetic masturbating over a dog-eared copy “involvement” ?

      • Bob's Cunt permalink
        July 31, 2013 4:33 pm

        Close enough.

  10. unclecarbuncle permalink
    August 1, 2013 12:48 pm

    T

  11. unclecarbuncle permalink
    August 1, 2013 12:49 pm

    TESTES 123

  12. unclecarbuncle permalink
    August 1, 2013 12:59 pm

    AN AS CANDI STEPS OF ELVATOR ON LEVELS 37 OF TH DUNGON SHE FONDELS HER NIPPLES AS SHE METS FOKBEARD DWARF LVL 5 33HPS +4 SWORD ROLLS EYES ASHE STARES AT TITTIS. IM TOLD THIS IS SOME DEMONS LEVEL SO LET’S GO TRY AN STEALS

  13. Bob's Cunt permalink
    August 1, 2013 1:03 pm

    Raggi is hard at work on on his newest adventure.

  14. Bob's Cunt permalink
    August 1, 2013 1:06 pm

    Polyhedron Games founder and CEO ^

    • unclecarbuncle permalink
      August 1, 2013 1:12 pm

      NOON CARE NOON READ FUCK OFF

  15. Kent permalink
    August 1, 2013 8:13 pm

    One thing I know for sure is that as a Dragonsfoot moderator bloodymage should be treated with a little respect and not as a spazz.

  16. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    August 1, 2013 9:43 pm

    When does being a forum moderator mean anything on the intarwebs?

  17. Dumb Dungeon permalink
    August 2, 2013 12:04 am

    Isn’t ANY of these Kickstarter people able to do simple math?

    “Oh nos – I have, once again, miscalculated price of shipping and will now have to pay 1000s of dollars outta my own pockets to get you the books you paid for… unless you want to send me some more money? Purdy please?”

    From John “Really, I can’t print and send several shipments to anywhere in the world for 20$? how odd?!?” Adams to the newest Raggi plea: http://youtu.be/VzNJCC6UJqM

    Here’s a piece of advice: DON*T BE SO TITTYFUCKING DELAYED. Then you won’t be caught by the post offices YEARLY rise in prices…. several fucking times with the same kickstarter!

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
      August 2, 2013 3:50 am

      I will be blown away if these LotFlop rubes give stinky greasy Jim MOAR Fucking Monee! rather than crucifying the lame fuck for completely failing to honor his pledges. Likely the fucking idiots will be bending over to blow themselves and throw more money at this complete bungling of assets. Does Jim really think LotFap is a new and marketable game versus the laziest man’s basic D&D? I guess the morons kickstarting his bullshit just continues to inflate his already donut inflated ego.

      • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
        August 2, 2013 4:42 am

        Holy shit, he rocks backs and forth so much in that video. That’s got to be indicative of some metal aberration.

      • bad wolf permalink
        August 2, 2013 5:42 am

        “Comments are disabled for this video.” (42 views)

        Well, i guess he’s not a complete idiot.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 2, 2013 6:43 am

        Anyone who gives this amateur hour shithead another goddamn cent is a fucking moron.

        Body language experts say rocking back and forth is a sign of lack of confidence in what one is saying, but it can also be an indicator of autism. I’m going with the latter in Raggi’s case.

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