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“Most Hated” Round 2 Results

April 4, 2014

Round 2 South

#1 John Adams vs. #4 Michael Curtis: Curtis unexpectedly takes a huge lead into the 2nd half but with 8 minutes remaining play is interrupted when Mike Mornard rushes the court naked, the nipples of his pendulous man-breasts erect and terrifying. He’s got GoldenPalace.com written in sharpie across his back and a pennant advertising his new promotional website flutters defiantly from its secure enlodgement ‘tween his buttcheeks. HomeSec snipers deployed to the rafters bring him down with stumm loads and play resumes. Adams, invigorated by what is clearly an act of God to dissipate Curtis’ momentum, rallies to close and sinks a buzzerbeater for the win. A heavenly tabernacle sings in celebration.

#3 Joethelawyer vs. #2 Greyhawk Grognard: Joethelawyer opens strong and a bit saucy too: he blows kisses to Zak & Mandy in the stands and fans himself comically with a zine after each dunk. The crowd is stunned, is the Grognard all bluster? Nope, just playing a little rope-a-dope. The deception is revealed emphatically when Joethelawyer goes up for what appears to be an uncontested layup and Saint Cuthbert materializes above the rim and disrupts the ball utterly with a strike from his mace. Joethelawyer aghast looks to his patron, Zak pretends not to notice for a moment, fixes him with a slow smirk and extends his arm dramatically, then uncoils a wickedly leisured Imperial thumbs down. Joethelawyer instantaneously flashforms into a pillar of volcanic rock to which Mandy blows an exaggerated kiss, and the pillar explodes into ash. Game fucking over and Greyhawk Grognard still hasn’t even roused the Asgardians yet.

Round 2 East

#1 Zak Sabbath vs. #4 Christian Walker: Christian drops in and is immediately barreled by Mandy in her wheelchair. Zak laughs from the sideline and Christian’s corpse is spatula-ed from the court, can anything stop Zak?!?!?

#3 Kent vs. #2 Tenkar: Like an endless tide of World War Z zombies, Kent’s sock puppet legions wash over and submerge Tenkar. Nothing remains not even a stupid poll, “Do you use alignment languages?” query that’s been asked a thousand times, or handjob review of a buddy’s illiterate OSR module. Kent preens and advances.

Round 2 West

#1 Grognardia vs. #5 Gorgonmilk: The touts have Grognardia as an overwhelming favorite but they forgot one thing: Gorgonmilk has been waiting for this matchup for over a year and he has a secret weapon. Grognardia approaches confidently and the trap is sprung, as Gorgonmilk averts his gaze and flourishes a copy of the Petty Gods .pdf. Grognardia is horrified, forced to confront the very bed he shit in. Maliziewski does what he always does when challenged: he runs for cover, hiding as far away as he can manage. Gorgonmilk wins!

#3 Poag vs. #7 Greg Christopher: Nobody else hates Christopher and his shitty games? Just me? Fine, whatever, Poag summons a cohort of goblin baby rapers to do their thing and destroys utterly Christopher’s orifices.

Round 2 Midwest

#1 James Raggi IV vs. #4 Bruce Heard: When it comes down to it, Raggi’s game is soft: talking about the boner you get watching A Serbian Film only gets you so far these days, like through middle school maybe. There’s no there there. Bruce Heard laughs in the face of cancer women. He has no pity, he asks for no quarter nor does he grant it. He is the guardian of Mystara. Heard wins comfortably.

#6 RPG Pundit vs. #2 Robert Kuntz: You’d think a pipe smoker would be accustomed to gross smells, but Kuntz’s potent waft is a nightmare agglomeration of the most heinous odors: sodden kitty litter, unwashed ponytail, failed dream flop sweat. Pundit is melted into oblivion as if he’d looked directly at the Ark, Kuntz guffaws and high fives his special adviser Terry Goodkind.

 

161 Comments leave one →
  1. Francie permalink
    April 4, 2014 3:48 pm

    The others need to form an unholy alliance. Otherwise Zak is going to clean their clocks

    • Timotheus permalink
      April 4, 2014 7:09 pm

      Welcome back, Francie! All (well, most) is forgiven (or not…can’t remember why you sodded off).

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      April 4, 2014 11:22 pm

      With all of his sockpuppets, Kent is a one man unholy alliance. Only problem is that the only thing the alliance is good for is blowing Zak.

  2. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 4, 2014 3:54 pm

    This sure beats watching black men in the world’s most comfortable shorts making millions of dollars doing what they love.

    Did anybody else catch Zak Attack outing Kunt in that DF thread? I know it ain’t exacltly like finding Bin Laden, but with Zak taking on all comers like Bruce Lee in and old movie it was kind of fun seeing a guy come up behind him and get an elbow in the face for his trouble. 2 points for Zak! Nice try, but no cigar, Kuntington. You’re about as good at disguise as The Inspector from The Pink Panther. Fletch you ain’t.

  3. The Kentucky Kid permalink
    April 4, 2014 4:01 pm

    I am not alone in believing Zak would make stunning lawyer.

    • Forget the law permalink
      April 4, 2014 4:39 pm

      Mmm, I think you’re alone.

    • The Kentucky Kid permalink
      April 4, 2014 4:58 pm

      Liar. No one on any forum has won an argument with him yet. Show me where or keep quiet.

      • Forget my lazy lies permalink
        April 4, 2014 5:01 pm

        Ha, I’m not a liar – I’m lazy! Well, and a liar.

      • Jack permalink
        April 4, 2014 6:44 pm

        “Thick people are very good at winning arguments because they’re too thick to realize that they’ve lost.” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGex0kLgNok

  4. PrinceofNothing permalink
    April 4, 2014 4:48 pm

    I guess it’s time to deactivate Kent’s Sock-puppet inhibitor and pray for MAD.

  5. Timotheus permalink
    April 4, 2014 7:07 pm

    My bracket is shot to shit. A bit of false hope with GOPagan still strong with his undeployed All-Star Odin Squad, but Zakattack is BACK, baby! And he brought Ho’nesia with him!

  6. Recovering Retard permalink
    April 4, 2014 9:32 pm

    For Mr. ScalyDemon and all my other swell pals at YDIS.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      April 4, 2014 11:29 pm

      Damn, you out DiTerlizzi’d DiTerlizzi!

      Now, the real question is, did Chrissy Hinde name-check DiTerlizzi in Brass in Pocket?

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      April 5, 2014 5:03 am

      Hot damn that is some sweet planescape-inspired Zak art. You even got the enigmatic look down. Any chance of getting one where he faces off against Alexis re-imagined as a buxom, large-breasted Shao-Khan?

    • April 5, 2014 6:29 pm

      Goddamn dats pretty.

      • Recovering Retard permalink
        April 6, 2014 9:35 am

        Thanks. I still think you’re joint needs a groovy banner. Shoot me the dimensions, and I’ll make something nifty. I’m no Zak Sabbath or anything, but I’ll try my best…

      • April 6, 2014 1:28 pm

        I feel like fucking JaMal taking things from readers but I’m also a patron of the arts and greedy for attention. WordPress says regarding headers: “Images of exactly 920 × 180 pixels will be used as-is.” I think other dimensions are cropped or something. It’s 50-50 whether I can figure out how to do any of it.

        Don’t feel like you have to hold back because this is a family-friendly blog, go wherever your muse takes you.

      • Recovering Retard permalink
        April 6, 2014 5:34 pm

        I’ll see how much spiffy I can cram in there.

      • Dr. Sanfran Buttstein permalink
        April 7, 2014 8:28 am

        In my professional opinion the artist is obsessed with homosexuality and excrement and hardly needs identifiable subjects for his favorite pastime – painting fags and falling in love with them.

      • April 7, 2014 9:24 am

        Hi Kent!

      • Recovering Retard permalink
        April 7, 2014 4:20 pm

        Hey doc, it wouldn’t take a painting your case – wanna check my prostrate? Maybe I can check yours too?

      • Dr. Sanfran Buttstein permalink
        April 7, 2014 8:53 pm

        I prefer my patients to sit up when talking.

  7. Boddynock permalink
    April 4, 2014 10:41 pm

    I’m surprised by the upset that Bruce Heard pulled off. I figured the vapor power from the GWAR guy, Raggi’s attitude after the GWAR guy’s death, and no Insect Shrine would still slay Princess Narc. I don’t seen Heard killing Robert Kuntz. The adventuring party of Galt, Goodkind, Kuntz, and Robliar are more than enough to slay the crew of the Princess Narc.

    Petty Gods might bring Gorgonmilk out of the West, as its note Poag has been a little more lucid and a little less obvious with the baby raping. I expect the gods to tremble when he goes up against Zak,

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      April 4, 2014 11:30 pm

      I think we’re all scratching our heads here. Something’s up…

  8. April 5, 2014 8:03 am

    Haha Mornard sees “lass” in the forum name and gets a boner:

    http://odd74.proboards.com/thread/9861/demon-devil-inspirations?page=1&scrollTo=138697

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      April 6, 2014 7:50 am

      He wants to inhale all that lovely estrogen and keep it all to himself!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      April 6, 2014 3:21 pm

      We’re wondering why you knocked Raggi out of the running so quickly… you working on “Death Suck Doom” or something?

    • April 11, 2014 1:27 pm

      Joke’s on him, LibraryLass is a tranny.

  9. Hal permalink
    April 5, 2014 4:30 pm

    Prescott Area Role Playing Gamers’ Group

    Prescott, AZ
    11 RPGers

    Do you run a table top role playing game and want to find players? Join up, come to a few events, and then feel free to use this meetup to schedule your games and find new pla…

    Next Meetup

    Game On Open Game

    Wednesday, Aug 20, 2014, 6:15 AM
    3 Attending

    Check out this Meetup Group →

    Okay, which one of you tender hearts sent him the tablecloth?

  10. Arneson's Manboob permalink
    April 6, 2014 9:42 am

    Okay, so who hacked Faggi’s Indiegogo account?

    ATTENTION SUCKERS^H^H^H^H^H^H^H PROJECT BACKERS!

    As previously announced, this project has already killed one person, and now we’ve got another brain surgeon volunteering to fall on this sword:

    He claims his name is “Jobe Bittmann.”

    When asked who in the hell he was, he replied:

    “Jobe Bittman is a beaten and half-starved scribe-slave pressed into service by a sadistic demon prince. By day, he breaks all the internet. By night, he toils at freelance writing assignments and transcribes game designs at the behest of his dark master. His work has appeared in publications by Wizards of the Coast, Kobold Press, and Goodman Games. OSR fans may also remember Jobe for his winning entry in the 2013 One Page Dungeon contest, “Into the Demon Idol.” Please send meat.”

    That’s pretty much a cut and paste from his entry on the Spellburn podcast site, and I assume that’s the sort of effort and creativity he’ll be putting into this project. He hasn’t updated his metagamemastery.com blog since May of last year, so it looks like he’ll fit right in with this project’s history of hitting all the hard deadlines.

    I mean who are we kidding, I hired him because he wore an LotFP shirt in his GaryCon ’14 photos.

    When asked to tell you all his qualifications for finishing a Brockie project, he replied:

    “Jobe’s been a filthy bohab ever since Gwar first warped his young mind at a City Gardens show in the 80s. Ever since, he’s been waiting for an opportunity to drop a steaming turd on Brockie’s legacy. This one’s for you, Dave.”

    That sold me. Steaming turd is a goal we can all agree is achievable.

    We will announce Jobe’s replacement on Towers Two shortly after he also drops dead.

    • Timotheus permalink
      April 7, 2014 8:24 am

      Faggi’s all class.

      I checked out that metamaster site for grins, and this Jobe kid was gushing over some anime card game where you are a wealthy dude trying to seduce a boy street urchin – yeah, this will be perfect for the LotFaP brand.

      • April 7, 2014 9:21 am

        “I grabbed Gonsalvo, Nick jumped on Honore, Damon fingered Olivier’s character sheet, and Chris snatched Maria ostensibly because she was the character with the least chance of having a homosexual encounter.”

        I wish I was joking.

  11. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 6, 2014 5:01 pm

    As a special reward for whoever sent Blooeymage the table cloth (somehow a huge factor in his continued gaming), I have a treat for you. One of my closely guarded treasures.

    I will leave no link. But look up Polyhedron Games LLC on Facebook, find Blooey’s personal page through links there (“Steve”), and behold Oh Captain My Captains three friends on his page. A unique glimpse into the personal life of one of the OSR’s most beloved heroes (mine, anyway). One of them is new and probably from the weirdo meetup, but the other two are Blooeymage Jr. and the future Mrs. Blooey – famous nationwide as the inventor of “Polly Eggs,” the eagerly awaited treats to be served at Blooeycon.

    Alas, all might not be well in Blooeyland. Though still his friend, his status is no longer “engaged,” And loving references to his sweetie as “a crazy old lady” seem to be gone. Viddy well, and pray for this blessed couple to stay together. Blooeycon depends on it!

    You’re welcome, true believers! Buy some product!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      April 6, 2014 7:44 pm

      At the risk of sounding cynical, an 8-foot tablecloth could make a decent burial shroud. So, who’s going to alert the authorities?

      • April 6, 2014 9:35 pm

        If BM turned out to be an immortal Wandering Jew-Highlander type, would any of us be surprised?

    • April 8, 2014 4:22 pm

      I am kind of comforted by his pronounced decision to head for assisted living.

  12. Dr. Sanfran Buttstein permalink
    April 7, 2014 10:30 am

    Bringing a gaydar to this site is like standing on the north pole with a compass.

    • Zak Smith permalink
      April 7, 2014 11:18 am

      I want to see this SO-CALLED gaydar actually working correctly under scientific conditions. Anybody can CLAIM they have a gaydar device but EVERY SINGLE PERSON who pointed a SO-CALLED gaydar at me and made beeping noises with one hand over their mouth was a LIARRRR !!!!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      April 7, 2014 3:08 pm

      Hi Kent!

    • the Temple of Elemental Bullshit permalink
      April 7, 2014 11:06 pm

      as opposed to your rectum, which can be used as a compass for sitting on Peter North’s pole

  13. Dr. Sanfran Buttstein permalink
    April 7, 2014 10:33 am

    Anyone seen a good musical lately?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      April 7, 2014 3:09 pm

      ~ass cancer

  14. Zak Smith permalink
    April 7, 2014 11:07 am

    Dr. Sanfran Buttstein, PROVE you have a medical degree or else you are a LIAR.

  15. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 7, 2014 1:18 pm

    Kunt’s only degree is in highly unfunny forum trolling.

    • Dr. Sanfran Buttstein permalink
      April 7, 2014 5:18 pm

      beep … beep … beep … BeeP . BeeP . BeeP . BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEEPBEEPBEEPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

      • Zak Smith permalink
        April 7, 2014 8:49 pm

        The gaydar works !!!

  16. April 7, 2014 5:10 pm

    Fair warning to everyone, if Kentucky wins I will probably kick my computer through a fucking window. This may impact my ability to complete the competition.

    • Timotheus permalink
      April 7, 2014 7:51 pm

      Dude, you can’t puss now, I wanna see Thor take on Zak’s Illusory Father Figure, or at least Badur vs. one of the token male fags from a random Shit an Axe video.

      Fuck Kentucky.

    • Dr. Sally Legbeard permalink
      April 7, 2014 8:47 pm

      Never before and never again will a population pay any attention to little Timmy’s judgments, even if it is only a population of six fags. This competition is important for Timidy’s growing confidence and his search for friendship at ydis.

      • Timotheus permalink
        April 7, 2014 8:49 pm

        Finally someone understands me. Thanks, Obama!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        April 8, 2014 7:18 am

        I see Kent’s gender transformation is now finally complete. I would like to make a heartfelt and passionate request of my fellow white cis males at YDIS: Please respect Kent’s sexual identity reassignment and refer to him from now on as Kuntina.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        April 8, 2014 10:16 am

        ~transvibes

  17. the Temple of Elemental Bullshit permalink
    April 9, 2014 2:48 am

    what’s the skinny on Gyzzgax Magazine? Their website is woefully out of date but the social media outlets are current, mainly posting useless crap. seems we are a few issues behind?

  18. PrinceofNothing permalink
    April 9, 2014 4:52 am

    Okay, the sock-puppet inhibitor has been deactivated, now we just need to aim Kent at Zack. Does anyone here who is not a Kent Sock Puppet know how we can do that? Is there a way we can convince Zack to post on his blog the correct mixture of scathing reviews of great works of literature, nostalgic retrospectives of old movies and copious amounts of child pornography that is sure to attract Kent’s attention?

    • April 9, 2014 7:46 am

      If Kent has all his powers back, I would plant him on some third-tier forum or blog that’s never heard of either of them and then lure Zak there with hints of people doing stuff wrong on the Internet and he’s involved somehow. Could be a Hello Kitty fan group, I have no idea. His spy network picks up the ping and presto!

      Another fine message from
      GOD

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      April 9, 2014 11:33 am

      *Twist Ending*

      You don’t get it. We are ALL Kent socks here. Even YDIS. This is a just a one-man socket puppet solo circle jerk! Bwaahahahahahha…

      Dun dun duuuuuuuuuun!

    • KentofNothing permalink
      April 9, 2014 1:58 pm

      Ah las the great deception has been revealed. We are all Kent. Of course what strikes me as noteworthy is that i, the Greatest Kent, am not only smarter then all of you other Kents but could also rough you all up in a gay way without losing my place in the book i am reading by one of my peers, Goodkind, Meyer or Salvatore.

      But i’ve had my fun and that’s all that matters.

  19. Zak's Absent Father permalink
    April 9, 2014 9:16 am

    Further proof that the OSR has fully embraced its role as soap box for shills with something to sell to the aging rubes who pretend to play D&D: the rise of the “guest blogger” as infomercial.

    For example, no longer content to spam links to his Kickstarter on G+, this dude is takin’ it to the STREET!

    http://lotfp.blogspot.fi/2014/04/the-demons-in-my-view-guest-post-by.html

    http://www.tenkarstavern.com/2014/04/childhood-monsters-guest-post-by-rafael.html

    BUY BUY BUY.

    • the Temple of Elemental Bullshit permalink
      April 9, 2014 5:03 pm

      Lusus Naturae…. better known as, “How many variations of Hentai-tentacle-rape monsters can I come up with”

  20. Kent permalink
    April 9, 2014 11:47 am

    In all seriousness, I have been trying to crack the Zak for years but with admirable self-discipline and likely a well honed instinct for self-preservation, after an early flurry interchanging contempt and indignation he ceased to interact or take the fight and has the most sensitive Kentdar on the web/market, surely remarkable given how many gamers he interacts with.

    The Zak will not be fooled as far as I can tell.

  21. Kent permalink
    April 9, 2014 11:56 am

    In all seriousness I have been trying to Crack the Zak for years now and with admirable self-discipline and perhaps a finely honed sense of self-preservation Zak has always refused to accept the fight. Zak has the most sensitive Kentdar on the market. He is both one of the smartest and rubbish gamers on the web and one most ripe for mockery, so RIPE and LUSH ROTTING RIPE LIAR. I can’t se any reason why someone with more delicate loathing than I have could not make a fool of him, and yet he bats away the stupid and ignores me. I have no interest in ever saying something I don’t believe so I will never rate as a troll.

  22. Kent permalink
    April 9, 2014 11:57 am

    —===—In all seriousness I have been trying to Crack the Zak for years now and with admirable self-discipline and perhaps a finely honed sense of self-preservation Zak has always refused to accept the fight. Zak has the most sensitive Kentdar on the market. He is both one of the smartest and rubbish gamers on the web and one most ripe for mockery, so RIPE and LUSH ROTTING RIPE LIAR. I can’t se any reason why someone with more delicate loathing than I have could not make a fool of him, and yet he bats away the stupid and ignores me. I have no interest in ever saying something I don’t believe so I will never rate as a troll.

  23. Kent Himself The One and Only permalink
    April 9, 2014 11:58 am

    In all seriousness I have been trying to Crack the Zak for years now and with admirable self-discipline and perhaps a finely honed sense of self-preservation Zak has always refused to accept the fight. Zak has the most sensitive Kentdar on the market. He is both one of the smartest and rubbish gamers on the web and one most ripe for mockery, so RIPE and LUSH ROTTING RIPE LIAR. I can’t se any reason why someone with more delicate loathing than I have could not make a fool of him, and yet he bats away the stupid and ignores me. I have no interest in ever saying something I don’t believe so I will never rate as a troll.

  24. Lord Buttered Buttocks of Buttfield On Cheeks permalink
    April 9, 2014 2:39 pm

    What Ho !! Blimey !!

  25. Lady Fresh Creamed Pussy of the Unplied Virgin Lakeshore permalink
    April 9, 2014 2:49 pm

    I would suck Kent’s cock if I wasn’t a feminist like all modern hep women. What Ho !!

  26. Princess Puffed Up Pink-Purple Liver Cunt With a Hint of Stars permalink
    April 9, 2014 2:59 pm

    Mother !! Please !! No one wishes to suction Kent’s penis into her unexplored gullet as voraciously as myself. Princess Beauty Faced Innocent Yet Sexual Deviant.

  27. Sweet Honey Tongued MacLickinCock Milton's Angel permalink
    April 9, 2014 3:48 pm

    Kent’s cock is mine and I’ll fight for it in heaven or hell.

    • Timotheus permalink
      April 10, 2014 7:14 am

      Excluded Middle fallacy.

      Also, PROVE kent has a cock or you are a LIAR.

  28. Timotheus permalink
    April 10, 2014 8:38 am

    Actually, speaking of excluded middles:

    http://www.gofundme.com/83d8tc

    This is pretty bad, but during all this Skarka was sending out 20 tweets a day – surely he could have been working on just one chapter of Far West instead, eh?

    Anyway I am sure the kind hearts here will take him over his $5000 goal.

    • April 10, 2014 9:57 am

      Reminds me of my man Mozart and his wife and kids.

      Another fine message from
      GOD

    • Skarka the Hutt permalink
      April 10, 2014 4:54 pm

      Sorry, all that bullshit I was spewing got the best of me. But just send that cash and I’ll finish up Far West. I mean it this time. Your gracious donation will finally keep that nagging wife off my back and I can get to the serious work of elf games, am I right?

      • April 10, 2014 10:09 pm

        Mr. Skarka, I would be happy to keep sending the cash. Though I was hoping you’d care to comment the status on that Buckaroo Banzai RPG that was due out Spring 2012.

      • Skarka the Hutt permalink
        April 11, 2014 4:51 am

        I sold the rights to that for a Twinkie and a large Jolt.

    • Recovering Retard permalink
      April 10, 2014 5:37 pm

      No one knows exactly what causes the sacs, or pouches of diverticulosis to form. Eating a low-fiber diet is one of the most likely causes.

      People who eat mostly processed food, as many Americans eat, do not get enough fiber in their diet. Processed foods include white rice, white bread, most breakfast cereals, crackers, and pretzels.

      As a result, constipation and hard stools are more likely to occur – causing people to strain when passing stools. This increases the pressure in the colon or intestines and may cause these pouches to form.

      Diverticulosis is very common. It is found in more than half of Americans over age 60.

      Diverticulitis is caused by small pieces of stool (feces) that become trapped in these pouches, causing infection or inflammation.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        April 10, 2014 7:17 pm

        The takeaway here is EAT SOMETHING GREEN, DAMNIT!

    • Arneson's Manboob permalink
      April 11, 2014 1:53 pm

      SKARKAAAAAAAAAAA

    • Arneson's Manboob permalink
      April 11, 2014 1:54 pm

      Seriously, has anyone noticed that as his hair gets longer and he puts on more and more weight, he’s looking more and more like Bill Bailey?

  29. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 10, 2014 12:58 pm

    Let’s focus on the important stuff:

    “Important Social Issues n’ Stuff for Man-Children” – featuring Mr. Nexx

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=65710

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      April 10, 2014 4:49 pm

      Because these Sit to Pee blOwSR Manchildren wouldn’t want to get somebody else’s pee pee on their poorly wiped butt cracks now would they?

    • the Temple of Elemental Bullshit permalink
      April 10, 2014 5:14 pm

      Does that mean an Upper Decker qualifies as Chaotic Neutral?

  30. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 10, 2014 5:29 pm

    You wipe the pee (most often probably from teenagers, or at game conventions the same guys who are on that thread) with a nice wad of paper, then slap down at least two ass gaskets. Done and done. We all live in cities full of two legged animals. Most of us man-up and deal with it instead of bitching on a fucking Dungeons and Dragons site.

    I used to work at a big company that seemed to get most of it’s IT department folk fresh off the boat from deep Asian countries. You always knew there was a new ching chong in town when you went to the john and saw a skinny turd in the urinal.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      April 10, 2014 6:23 pm

      You would prefer a big fat turd in the urinal?

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        April 10, 2014 9:02 pm

        Well, at least then I would be able to take solace in the fact that it was probably left by a true blue American (especially if it had a little blood in it). Probably the 400 lb. disgruntled black janitor who called every guy under 30 yrs. old “beeyatch.”

  31. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 10, 2014 9:37 pm

    “Important Social Issues n’ Stuff for Man-Children” part 2

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=65711

    Geoffrey pops in and mentions his 9 year old daughter. She should be getting nervous – she’s coming up on the age of being raped for hours and sacrificed by a wizard so he can cast Invisible Servent.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      April 10, 2014 11:35 pm

      Every time I crap in a urinal, I stick in one of those little sandwich toothpicks with an American flag. Recognize!

      True story.

    • Skarka the Hutt permalink
      April 11, 2014 4:52 am

      It’s like a bunch of guys auditioning to be the next Archie Bunker. But how many of these social incompetents are really married?

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      April 11, 2014 8:24 am

      They discuss their frustrations with their wives and family like the rest of us would discuss problems with our cat or horse(if we assume for a moment that we were gay/manically depressed/lonely and a cat/horse could cause us problems to such an extent that we would feel the need to discuss it with total strangers on the internet). But there I go again, off on my dreamy tangents. Must be all the OSR I’ve been smoking.

    • the Temple of Elemental Bullshit permalink
      April 11, 2014 6:00 pm

      that thread might more aptly be titled, “Here’s all 7 people in the OSR who have interacted with a vagina….. at least according to them”

  32. cheesesock56 permalink
    April 11, 2014 4:10 pm

    Retard-great pic!! Any thoughts on Kickstarting a coffee-table profile of OSR luminaries?

  33. YDIS is a FAG CLUB91 permalink
    April 14, 2014 3:22 pm

    Fags?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      April 15, 2014 6:03 pm

      Hi Kuntessa!

  34. YDIS is a FAG CLUB91 permalink
    April 14, 2014 3:49 pm

    What a bunch of 91post sleepy fags you make me sick dumb fags.

  35. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    April 14, 2014 10:33 pm

    Hey, remember John “I raised $50k on Kickstarter and burned all the books” Campbell? Someone has started a tribute webcomic for him. I mean her, now.

    http://johncampbellsucks.tumblr.com/

  36. kaptainvon permalink
    April 14, 2014 11:52 pm

    “Nobody else hates Christopher and his shitty games? Just me?”

    Between the forum tubthumping, Zak-baiting, women-are-wonderful-goddesses-and-my-feminisms-mean-I-worship-the-very-ground-on-which-they-tread-also-lesbians-are-the-most-magical-of-all-PHWOAR bullshit, creepy “angels made me do it” moral codes and tedious obsession with the Dark Ages… I might actually cordially dislike Christopher. He did a reasonable hackjob on Ars Magica though – just a shame that it’s buried under his fap-justifying politics.

    • April 15, 2014 12:02 am

      I would think the infidelity-divorce would color a more nuanced perspective on women, but perhaps perversely that will only intensify his efforts to erect for them pedestals to gaze upward awestruck and slightly teary.

      • kaptainvon permalink
        April 15, 2014 12:05 am

        She left for the lack of a higher pedestal. I’m sure he can do better if he thinks about the divinely sanctioned love ‘twixt two mighty womyn, untainted by the touch of cock or the blasphemous ‘male gaze’ beloved of modernity. Except his, obviously. Prophecy hath its rewards.

    • YDIS is a FAG CLUB91 permalink
      April 15, 2014 5:53 am

      Where do you read his thoughts? Blog?

    • YDIS is a FAG CLUB91 permalink
      April 15, 2014 8:43 am

      Yeah that’s not a readable blog but that guy has 9000 friends & admirers on google+ so he is a Famous Guy.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        April 15, 2014 12:19 pm

        Gosh, Kunto, that’s like 30 times more followers than your old failed blog “Kum Kweens Kunt” ever had, eh? Well, at least you have this blog to be unfunny (but still laughed at) on!

      • YDIS is a FAG CLUB91 permalink
        April 15, 2014 1:02 pm

        No one likes you because you are unemployed.

        Heh heh !

  37. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 15, 2014 2:24 pm

    I
    I actually make a pretty damn good living Kuntington. It’s why I only really have the time to read this blog, and check out the endless circle jerk that is DF. You, however, seem to have endless time to stalk around the nets looking for all manner of chickenshit, even meaningless nuggets on the lesser forums. The “Dole,” I’m guessing? So stop projecting your failed life (including the gay shit you get up to) on us, loser…

    • YDIS is a FAG CLUB91 permalink
      April 15, 2014 2:31 pm

      And … no one will employ you because nobody likes you.

      Go figure. Heh !

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        April 17, 2014 12:17 am

        Hi Kent!

  38. April 15, 2014 2:46 pm

    Some how I thought this would have been posted here. White Supremacist Odinist goes in to a Jewish center and manages to kill the only non-Jews in the place.

    http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2014/04/14/frazier-glenn-cross-racist-religion/

    Never even heard of Odinists till coming here. I thought it was some sort of larp thing I was too scared to look into.

  39. YDIS is a FAG CLUB91 permalink
    April 15, 2014 3:18 pm

    Captain Kirks Dick Blood,

    … also you should be aware that we all know that you are a *bald* pratt. You are one of those bald pratts whose hair fell out when he was very young from sheer anger at the world. You thought the world owed you big time but wasn’t delivering. Sweat drips across your bald head in liquid rage as you contemplate how the world owes you a living … big time. No one likes a bald pratt.

  40. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 15, 2014 4:10 pm

    Wrong-o again, Kuntella! Plenty of hair on the head, and all the original color. I do shave my nuts a couple times a year though. The chicks dig it!

    But well trolled, mate. A wasted life is…well…a wasted life. Keep doing what you do best, chumly!

  41. Timotheus permalink
    April 16, 2014 8:35 am

    So are you sufficiently recoverd from the Penn State victory to tell us what happens in Round 3? I have been making sacrifices to the Norns on behalf of Blochead, and I would hate for that to be in vain.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      April 16, 2014 12:18 pm

      Despair not fair Timothy. Blochead has enough valour, testicular fortitude and favor with the gods of Asgard to prevail in the 3rd round. The Halfling will dine in Niflheim that day. I have seen his wyrd in the runes.

      • Timotheus permalink
        April 16, 2014 8:24 pm

        Sweet prince, thou makest my heart fluttereth with thine uncanny fortellithtiveness. Though, I do assume “runes” is a euphemism for goat/shark/Christian entrails.

    • April 16, 2014 2:52 pm

      I don’t want to give you guys any spoilers but no matter what’s going on with Bloch’s testicles, Adams is on double secret probation now after calling our thing his “day job” again. HOHO (he on his own), as the kids say. Let those made-up Scandinavian guys have a little fun. As for the testicles you do not want to know.

      Another fine message from
      GOD

      • Timotheus permalink
        April 16, 2014 8:30 pm

        Hey, God, if you are going to hold my boy accountable for worshipping someone(s) else, then just where do you draw the line?

        Where do you draw the fucking line.

      • Timotheus permalink
        April 16, 2014 8:31 pm

        Oh, yeah, thanks for Brazil.

      • April 17, 2014 6:34 am

        No worries, man – thanks for noticing. They’re all turning out well but Brazil is going to be really special. The problem with Adams is that he’s blamed “the day job” for various delays getting his modules out all over the place, including most recently on Twitter where he apparently had to bounce early after running a funeral so he could check out a new printer. When I see that kind of thing I have let you go and worship whatever the other thing is that’s turned me into just a “day job experience” where you’re just watching the clock until you can get back to making modules or stand-up comedy or surfing or whatever. Unfortunately, once that happens, the clerical connection goes dry. If your new thing is something that gives the occasional spell (even Bloch’s imaginary vikings qualify) it’s cool, but a module is just a module so Adams is high and dry.

        It actually doesn’t blow my skirt much what you guys get up to. Most of the rules are there for your protection.

      • April 17, 2014 6:53 am

        (cont’d – this didn’t go through the last time)

        Sorry about your brackets though. If it’s any consolation Adams might still surprise you with how savage that halfling can get when the clock is counting down. Those guys can scream like minks man, it’s kind of awesome. And the one you call YDIS has plenty twists & turns lined up for the later rounds.

        Another fine message from
        GOD

  42. Prince Fighting Moustache permalink
    April 16, 2014 6:31 pm

    Farmer Giles of Ham DMs some guys of wavering unreliable articulacy through G1-3

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=64690&start=30#p1463298

    • Prince Fighting Moustache permalink
      April 16, 2014 7:30 pm

      I have little doubt that all D&D games would sound this bad if recorded, except for mine which would be spiced with ‘ … for fuck’s sake … ‘, ‘ … haven’t you been listening you dumb prick … ‘, ‘ … you stupid cunt I told you already … ‘ and ‘ … what are you some kind of fag or something ? … ‘

    • Prince Fighting Moustache permalink
      April 16, 2014 7:32 pm

      Things Farmer Giles of Ham likes:

      Giant Pigs.
      Breathing through his nose in loud gusts.

  43. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    April 16, 2014 8:58 pm

    Looks like Blooeymage is moving again. Either to Missouri or wherever God finds him. Could this be the start of another epic cross-country church-sleeping saga? Watch for him in a town near you. No moss will ever gather on this rolling stone. Fare thee well, my Blooey, my Captain, my King!

    Prescott Area Role Playing Gamers’ Group

    Prescott, AZ
    11 RPGers

    Do you run a table top role playing game and want to find players? Join up, come to a few events, and then feel free to use this meetup to schedule your games and find new pla…

    Next Meetup

    Game On Open Game

    Wednesday, Aug 20, 2014, 6:15 AM
    3 Attending

    Check out this Meetup Group →

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      April 17, 2014 12:54 am

      But what of the tablecloth?

    • April 17, 2014 7:20 am

      The tablecloth is safe. One of the reasons I like you guys is you keep track of Willett for me. I have to say, if he didn’t live in a landlocked area he’d probably have gotten eaten by a big catfish or something. Oh, Steve!

      Another fine message from
      GOD

  44. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 17, 2014 12:42 pm

    No….no…no Blooeycon? no Blooeyeggs?

    This is devestating. Blooey’s peronal page links and comments have vanished from Polyhedronoconoramarama LLC Facebook page. And the other week I noticed his personal page no longer had photos of the old crackhead lady he lovingly captioned “my crazy old fiancee – one of her better days?” Man, whenever the world got me down I could always enter the world of Bloodymage and feel better about things. Fuck!

    I really needed Blooeycon to go down. Just to know there was some good in this world. Now all I have is my memories. Blooeys company page where he convoed with spambots like they were old friends. His meetups at Arizona Denny’s that nobody showed up to. His public meetup comments asking why the gamers he had yet to meet had not shown up to help him move. Every precious utterance online was like some sweet, Shakesperian suicide note. *Sob* This is a dark day.

    I guess for every unequaled joy like the fall of Jamal, there must be the terrifying lows of losing a blOwSR luminary like BM. Godspeed, oh Captain, my Captain. If the caretaker at an eastern church hears a “ka-Blooey” from the old pick up truck parked overnight in the parking lot, he should know that it is only the angels of heaven getting a chance at having their own gaming convention, where only Polyhedron Games products will be sold.

    *bows*

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      April 17, 2014 2:28 pm

      Don’t write Blooey off just yet, I don’t think we’ve seen the last of Blooey. Arizona was just too small, too sere to contain him- Blooey belongs to the world. Hopefully, he’ll turn Blooeycon into the modern equivalent of a traveling medicine show, bring the Polyhedron magic to towns all across the United States. The poly-eggs may be just a dream now that he’s left behind his dog-walking leman, but the larger dream remains.

      And if he doesn’t materialize down the road somewhere? We’ll always have Paris Golconda. What’s that smell?

    • Cagey Drifter permalink
      April 18, 2014 3:17 am

      Bloodymage is registered to DM events at NTRPGCon in June. He lives!

  45. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 18, 2014 3:06 pm

    Oh, thank ye Gods! It’s an Easter (and 4:20) miracle!

    The utterances from last month in the con scheduling grid thead shows Blooeymage at his usual, upbeat best…

    “…Don’t know what I’ve done wrong but mt events are not on the game grid, “Cattle Drive to Hell” and “Shoiman’s March.” Just got back online today and I’m playing catch-up like mad…”

    and

    “…Do whatever you have to do. Cut it down. I’m on a wing and a prayer these day as it is…”

    Don’t let these con admin dipshits ruin it for you, Oh Captain. Stay in the firefight, if not for yourself, for us – your biggest fans…

    p.s. – I’m pretty damn sure Blooey has said the exact same below things in other locations years ago. He likes to keep the classics chambered when appearing before his adoring public. Nothing about an Albatross though…

    “..Just got back online today and I’m playing catch-up like mad…”

    “..I’m on a wing and a prayer these day…”

  46. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    April 19, 2014 7:00 am

    Don’t think the garbage that Raggi, Geoffey, and Zak S publish is having a negative effect on society? Think again! Check out this blOwSR LoFAP fan pedophile’s Google Plus page:

    https://plus.google.com/u/0/+andrewWariner/posts

    Even Kunt isn’t into this sick shit.

    • April 19, 2014 7:05 am

      You’re too far down the rabbit hole, bro. Pump the brakes.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        April 19, 2014 7:21 am

        I’m on a mission from God.

      • April 19, 2014 9:55 am

        Man, that’s some Taxi Driver level stuff. Scorsese handles those missions, I didn’t authorize this one.

        Another fine message from
        GOD

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        April 19, 2014 2:00 pm

        I’ve teamed up with Bloodymage to take this pervert out, True Detective style. I’m Cohle, BM is Hart.

      • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
        April 19, 2014 8:13 pm

        God damn Olive Garden!

    • Sykirobme permalink
      April 19, 2014 9:25 am

      Holy shit, I can’t un-see that. Why the fuck did I click that link…

    • asdfgh permalink
      April 19, 2014 5:04 pm

      Might I suggest, by way of a public service announcement, that others do not click that link as it contains very pervy images of pre-adolescent boys.

      That is all.

      • The wurst permalink
        April 21, 2014 10:51 am

        mr. fear of the unknown seeks to prove how awful the members of the osr might be by mentioning their names while showing us the contents of his browser cache. I have not seen True Detective, but hope that the cops on that show are portrayed as a bit more talented.

  47. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    April 20, 2014 7:38 pm

    I’ve teamed up with Bloodymage to take this pervert out, True Detective style. I’m Cohle, BM is Hart.

    Bloo Detective…

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      April 22, 2014 10:17 pm

      That is now our official title. We lost Olive Garden as a sponsor though.

  48. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 21, 2014 12:04 pm

    I vote for Christian Walker in the Woody Role, and yeah Blooey is great for Russ part. Driving around Lose-iana with Christian freaking out at Blooeys babblings “…gettin’ by on a wing and a prayer, with this case as an albatross. Gotta find this guy before I exit this world.”

    And of course, the bad guy turns out to be Zak.

    Heh, yeah “Bloo Detective”

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      April 21, 2014 12:37 pm

      Christian is too much of a pussy to play the Woody role, unless you mean Woody Allen.

  49. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    April 21, 2014 12:36 pm

    I finally managed to get his user page taken down. And for the record, I found it in the first place from a comment he left on a certain Google OSR closed community that shall remain nameless but I’m sure you can guess.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      April 21, 2014 3:55 pm

      Good on ya, what role did Blooey play in the endeavor?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        April 22, 2014 10:19 pm

        Blooey put the pieces together while enjoying unlimited salad and breadsticks after sleeping in his truck in the Olive Garden parking lot.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      April 21, 2014 5:57 pm

      Hey, don’t bury the lead story. We need more deets on this one!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        April 22, 2014 7:43 am

        True Detective was all child molesters and Carcosa. Coincidence? I think not!

    • random passerby permalink
      April 22, 2014 6:55 am

      Yes, it was certainly the user page that was the problem there. Not his evident need to molest children! Good, now everything is fixed.

      • Timotheus permalink
        April 22, 2014 7:49 pm

        Right…FOTU should have totally driven to that dude’s house and killed him. Because that is totally legal im America.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        April 22, 2014 10:12 pm

        If Blooey and I actually drove to Texas to kill him (which I am pretty certain is legal in that state at least), I would have made Blooey use his new tablecloth to wrap the body up in before we took it out and dumped it.

        Because that’s really the only way an epic story like this could end.

      • random passerby permalink
        April 23, 2014 9:55 am

        I like that you immediately assume that was a call to vigilante justice, but if you’re going to report someone, should it be to Google for violating his EULA, or to the Feds for kiddie porn?

        As it is he managed to get a perv to be more discrete about his obsessions in the future. Mission accomplished!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        April 23, 2014 11:15 am

        The important thing here is that this sick and twisted pervert will never serve unlimited salad and breadsticks to anyone ever again. I don’t know about you but I don’t want some kiddy diddler touching my food with his pedo hands.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      April 22, 2014 7:38 am

      I called out the big guns. I called Olive Garden.

      • Timotheus permalink
        April 22, 2014 7:52 pm

        I did not click on that link after asdfgh’s PSA, and I am glad i didn’t. Another LotFaP/Carblowsa pedo, eh? And his google plus circle jerk outlet has been cut off? Good job, god damn it.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        April 23, 2014 12:24 am

        That was some pretty creepy shit. Still, i’d always figured pedofiles would be more into WoD’s Innocents or maybe Grimm from Fantasy Flight Games then Carcosa or LoftFp. The question of what roleplaying games various delinquents, mental patients and moral degenerates would prefer is something that often keeps me up at night.
        Is it possible Raggi is in on the joke and his entire line is in fact, a sort of internet lure to draw out the perverted of the earth so they can be easily tagged and sterilized(a mere precaution, since many of them have no reproductive chance unless it is by sporogenesis)?

        Carcosa is, of course, exempted since it is a work of glorious brilliance and all Geoffry’s later works have merely been the aftershocks of a creation that consumed his very soul and experience levels in its birth throes. Transparent Baby Sacrificing FTW!

      • The wurst permalink
        April 23, 2014 7:28 am

        An area man was arrested today with a large collection of child pornography on his personal computer. Police said that the unemployed middle aged white male was overweight and rarely left the basement of his mother’s home. He apparently used the name, ‘Fear of the Unblown’ in his online activities. As police led him away, tears streaming down his pudgy face, the defendant claimed to be a secret agent working on behalf of a secret cabal of ‘white knights’ and he was only collecting the pornography to protect the children. Authorities found this explantion unconvincing. Now back to you, Janet.

  50. April 23, 2014 11:37 am

    Is this lame pedo crusade ongoing because I’m late with the Most Hated results?

    • Timotheus permalink
      April 23, 2014 12:42 pm

      If Bloo Detective is lame, I don’t wanna be right.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        April 23, 2014 11:57 pm

        We need a cartoon version for the kids, Scooby Bloo.

    • the Temple of Elemental Bullshit permalink
      April 23, 2014 5:08 pm

      I’ll tell you what’s lame. this month was the 2 year anniversary of the Dwizzledong sukdunjon kickstarter funding and there was nary a disparaging comment made around here.

  51. PrinceofNothing permalink
    April 25, 2014 5:20 am

    Ah las, and our outrage/scorn mines on the Axes and Anvils Kickstarter have been depleted as well. A sad day for us all.

    As a consolation I can only offer this little blast from the past. 51 pages of outraged hive-mind “discussion” about the sexist implications of a single monster from Monty’s Numenera game. The overzealous moderators swoop down like the mighty eagles to maintain party doctrine and root out dissension and thoughtcrime. People advocate a more positive portrayal of pregnant women in warzones and the adventuring lifestyle. One detective discovers that one of his sources of inspiration is the Night Land, a novel from 1912 that contains, gasp, sexism. Monte gets tarred and feathered as the kangaroo court decides whether he is guilty of witchcraft or merely a talentless hack. All that is lacking is John de Lancy overseeing the proceedings and a midget with a cowbell.

    http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?697888-Numenera-W-T-F-Monte!

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