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REVIEW: Arrows of Indra by RPGPundit aka John Tarnowski aka Kasimir Urbanski

December 3, 2014

Mucho reach-arounds as thank you to Prince of Nothing for this review of John Tarnowski’s bedshit of a game Arrows of Indra. Pity poor PoN, Holland’s favorite son, this assignment nearly killed him: like a wretch forced to wade through Wilbur Whately’s diary or Zak Smith’s chapbook, the horrors that touched his eyes caused him to run through his entire monthly allotment of government heroin, piss his van Persie kit, and something else Netherlands. Without further ado, take it away Sweet Prince:

[I finished my fucking review. Unfortunately its a screed of Alexian proportions. I hope blogger wordpress will accept this shit.]

Prince of Nothing Reviews: Arrows of Indra.
A Tale of Shameless copy-pasting and cynical Hucksterism.

Disclaimer: As most of you reading this already know, I am peripherally affiliated with the entity known as YDIS. YDIS as a community does not condone the actions, statements, products or indeed, very existence of Jon Tarnowski(a.ka RPGPundit, Defender of Doing Gay, Scourge of Norway). As such I cannot truthfully state that this review is free of personal bias. However, I have striven to be as honest as humanly possible in reviewing as Arrows of Indra. Take what grains of salt you deem appropriate.

This is a long-ass review so you might want to read it in shifts and take frequent coffee-breaks.

Reading Arrows of Indra was not a pleasant experience for me. Unlike some of you here I do not believe the OSR is entirely creatively bankrupt. I love D&D, I’ve run 2nd edition, Basic and 3.5 and even a one-shot game of Carcosa in the past, and I like the philosophy of old school gaming in general. I believe there is room for innovation in the OSR and that people use retroclones to explore new ground(i.e adventures, settings) with an old system. Arrows of Indra made me question this assumption. Maybe the OSR is pointless and we should have let D&D die along with TSR.

Moving on, for this particular review I have used the pdf version, generously donated to me by a close personal friend on 7chan. The cover(which is nice and well-executed) allegedly contains a depiction of a transvestite character(as Pundit is quick to remind anyone who cares(i.e nobody), and many who don’t), but this is hard to verify and not immediately obvious. The layout is fine, the artwork varies from acceptable (some landscapes, deities, items and animals) to terrible(everything else). The in-game map is serviceable.

We start with our Introduction by Pundit where he proudly proclaims that you do not need to know anything about Indian myth outside of this book. Remember this point. He follows it up with the obligatory stupid disclaimer where he informs us that it should not be taken as an authoritative source on anything relating to Hindu religion, with the addendum that he does not advocate any caste system and acknowledges ‘the equality of all regardless of circumstance.’ Will Dark Albion contain a similar disclaimer about hereditary aristocracies and goblin slaying? However, a lot of rpgs feel the need to contain such ridiculous disclaimers so I will let this one slide.

Chapter 1 contains character generation rules. You will be pleased to know 4d6 drop lowest, order or whatever the GM deems fit is still as functional as it was in the 80s. Everything is pretty much B/X with a resurrection probability table for Con. Next up is a caste system(roll randomly), which offers cultural context and ability bonus scores/penalties along with a recommendation that you should think twice about letting people play a Dalit(untouchable caste). Please note that class choice is determined by caste for humans. Overall, this section works fairly well and provides the necessary context for playing in caste.

The we have random family generation (which they mention is important in Arrows of Indra so I guess it is then) and this little gem.

“When the number of surviving siblings have been determined, the GM should roll randomly to determine which point in the birth order that PC is found; for example, if there are 5 surviving siblings, the GM could roll d6 (with a 1 indicating the PC is the oldest, 2 the second
oldest, etc). If the number of surviving siblings is less convenient for a simple die roll the GM should pick the method that works best.”
I think he might be on to something here. The next fucking rule section anyone writes should just have ‘THE GM SHOULD PICK THE METHOD THAT WORKS BEST” plastered a several hundred times across each page, The Shining Style. I want to make merry and mock Arrows but it is so uninspiring even its failures are pedestrian. It fails not by the virtue of its grasp extending its reach, it fails by having no reach and by being made by a hack-job with no creativity or talent.

Next up we have the different races drawn from Indian myth, which are all mechanically superior to their human counterparts(token level limits here and there) and, with the omission of some flavour text, more or less mechanically identical to the demi-humans we have been gently inoculated with for all our role-playing lives(exception, Rakshasa’s). Gandharva’s get a +1 to dex and a -1 to con and are immune to charm(ahem, Mantra of Irresistable Presence), sleep, aging and get +1 to ranged weapons and +1 additional with bows. Vanara’s are monkey men that get an AC bonus versus medium or large creatures and a bonus to saves vs poison magic items spells/sneaking/ and a strength penalty/dex bonus. Yaksha’s are mountain spirits that get a +4 AC vs Giant sized creatures.

THIS IS THE REVERSE OF WHAT A NEW RACE SHOULD BE LIKE. A new race should bring variety and role-playing opportunity and mechanics should reflect that. If your new race amounts to an elf with a bollywood coat of paint and two paragraphs of background slapped on you should rework it until it is something new. The worst thing is that Pundit claims this is a deliberate choice so it would be ‘familiar’ to DnD players. Yes. Pundit deliberately chose to do a hack-job cut-an-paste, because he knew anyone stupid enough to buy his stuff would be too dumb to protest. He is giving you something nearly identical to something that already exists, and he is charging money for it.
Case in point for new races well done: Empire of the Petal Throne. I will be referring to EoPT(OD&D edition) more often in this review(later editions of which have been much maligned by Tarnowski, possibly as part of a plot to cover up how much he ripped off the OD&D version in writing Arrows of Indra). In many ways Arrows of Indra is a mirror-universe EoPT, derivative where EoPT was original, uninspiring where EoPT was overflowing with creativity etc. Arrows of Indra lacks depth, and nearly all the background material is just a thin veneer covering yet another retroclone. If you just want a retroclone, get one that is free. If you want an original setting, look elsewhere. This is a scam.

Classes are inoffensive because they are identical to AD&D 1st edition with token tweaks and different names to make them more Indian-y and to avoid accusations of directly copy-pasting the Player’s Handbook(Priests can’t turn undead, Paladins can summon a giant eagle(Garruda) instead of a horse, Yogi’s are monks but called Yogi’s etc.). XP is now the same for every class. Saving throws are reduced to a single saving throw(which was pretty balsy when Swords & Wizardry did it). Stealing mechanics from better games and incorporating them into itself is also very Arrows of Indra.

Alignment has been changed to Holy, Neutral and Unholy, and covers one’s standing with the gods(Holy means the gods like you Unholy means the Asura’s like you). That’s okay and reflects the setting a bit better. Next comes the vaunted skill system, which Tarnowski is quick to add is new, which either makes him a fucking liar or simply unaware of the definition of the word ‘new’.

We get a hybridized d20 system for the skill resolution which works reasonably well. D20+ability score bonus+Proficiency ‘score’ roll against DC 10, 15 or 20.
As Pundit mentions, you get both ‘background’ skills based on your randomly generated caste(e.g proficiency-esque skills like brickmaking) and class skills(class abilities for the anyone except the monk I mean Yogi) for which you roll randomly each level.

This innovative new approach is so undeniably brilliant, M.A Barker resurrected himself, read arrows of Indra, was blown away and invented time travel so he could put pretty much the same system in EoPT(page 18). Of course Barker calls them ‘original skills’ and ‘professional skills’ and you roll randomly for which skill group you select them from(Unlike AoI, which uses random dice to determine which skills you get based on caste) and to his credit Barker did change the way you get new skills each level.

To further illustrate what a hack Barker is, he also had the temerity to copy Pundit’s professional skill I mean class skill system. Barker did remove some of the randomness in the skill selection, but that’s a taste thing. So on to the class skills themselves. Every class rolls a d6 and gets a skill from the Tier 1 skill table.
Priests need skills to cast spells(though some of the skills they get per level just allow them to learn things like languages, a design Barker cynically copies in his hack-job Empire of the Petal Throne Indra-clone). Most of the skills give the user the ability to conduct rituals, which are mostly defensive or utility based spells that take several minutes to cast and require incense. When you randomly get a particular spell-like ability you can generally use it once per day.
This is a lot different from priest skills in EoPT, which are mostly defensive or utility based spells that you can generally use about once per day. No tier system in EoPT, simply a line of skills and the order in which they are to be taken though.
Fighter skills are sort of what you’d expect, you get bonuses on specific weaponry, some charioteering, same proficiency twice means more bonuses, some Tier 2 stuff for improved defensive fighting, command and chakrams.
On to the Siddhi skills(different from a wizard, Siddhi’s cannot wear armour and are bad at fighting). Here we see the Pundit really shine. Skills include a mixture of offensive, defensive and utility spellike abilities that can be used 1/day in general, and a really cool skill that is the first skill on the first table called Asana, that allows you to freeze your entire body in place or hold your breath for an extremely long period of time(1 breath per day).
Of course that time-travelling asshole Barker has to ruin things again by making Control of Self the first skill magic users get in his hack-job Arrows of Indra Clone(page 21), which allows them to hold their breath for extremely long periods of time and freeze their body into place. And he also has the gall to make most of the magic user abilities spell-like abilities with a mixture of defensive, offensive and utility based powers that can generally be used 1/day. And of course Barker bases his last power, the Grey Hand(p. 21), a touch spell that destroys a target utterly and is usable 1/day, heavily off of Tarnowski’s THE BHAIRAVA-MUDRA, a touch spell that destroys a target utterly but with a saving throw that is usable 1/day.

Now, I have been slightly cynical towards the Pundit’s work, but thankfully Pundit has incorporated another way of getting spell-like powers for wizards and clerics, a wholly original system called Enlightenment Powers, and oh boy has he earned back my trust. You have a percentile based chance to get 1 randomly generated spell-like power, generally useable 1/day, from each of the 3 tiers of enlightenment powers each level. Sounds pretty cool, and guarantees each priest/wizard is different. Naturally the percentile based chance of gaining powers from different tiers increases as one goes up in levels.
Would you care to guess at the nature of the bonus spells system for priests and magic-users in World of Tekumel? If you guessed percentile based chance of getting 1 or more spellike abilities from 3 different tiers of powers each level(some of which are essentially the same spells across editions) with increased percentage based chances as you go up in level, you are not a customer of Arrows of Indra.

Lest I be accused of anything but the utmost diligence, the equipment section is next. It is mostly unoffensive and contains pretty much exactly what you would expect in an equipment section for mythic India. Of interest to some of you(Kent!) might be the listed price for concubines and various other slaves, where special mention is made of the existence of ‘kliba’ or tranny concubines. Delicious.
This section gives EoPT a break and instead borrows the weapons vs AC from AD&D 1st edition. Chariots and elephants included along with some rules for how to use them(chariots were lacking imho) Of particular interest to historians might be the encumbrance system, which is streamlined and very easy to use and stolen from Star Without Numbers GODDAMMIT I WANT TO READ SOMETHING NEW GIVE ME SOMETHIOQUIIOUDHFISHDFOIASJF



A crash dump has occurred. Rebooting in safe mode.
…Standby
…Standby
…Welcome Prince of Nothing

Moving on to GM procedures, this section amounts to little more then house rules and minor modifications to B/X and AD&D. I should be fair and say this section, while undoubtedly stolen from various sources with rodent-like ingenuity and Satine Phoenix’s lack of shame, is pretty well done. The house rules are a decent interpretation of Basic, with a few additions, tweaks and clarifications that will no doubt make it fun to play for the shadowy un-beings that hide in the spaces between worlds where deleted pdf files go. Notably missing is underwater combat as well as mass combat rules, an essential part emulating in Indian Myths(the latter, not the former). It turns out a system that has withstood over two decades of continued play is pretty functional and most of the house rules work out some of the tweaks. I say house rules, but that’s only because I don’t feel like going through each retro-clone and figuring out when exactly Pundit stole what from where.

On to the big selling point, the Gazetteer of the Bharata Kingdoms. This section is a lot less painful then the rest, but that also makes it the most tragic. Because this could have been a very good setting. Instead it is decent at best. I blame this on one central flaw; It adheres too closely to the Mahabarata(or whatever it is based on), at the cost of playability, maybe because Pundit didn’t feel confident enough in his abilities as a writer to put other shit in there. The Bharata Kingdoms as a setting needed more hooks and more shit going on. What is there is good, there is simply not enough of it, and some of it needs more description.
When the gazzeteer is good, its pretty decent; most of the rulers for each kingdom are described and have various histories, feuds and other stuff that makes them reasonably interesting(a bad-ass emperor(Jarasandha) that seeks to sacrifice 100 kings to Shiva in order to complete some sort of ritual that will allow him mastery over all the worlds, a Rakshasa King, An Asura King who is a total pussy and loyal to the emperor out of fear etc). Mention is made of the occasional Naga(snake-dudes) city ruins, Asura Kingdoms and so forth, but details are very sparse and the single sentence descriptions are not evocative. While it could have used more structure(im thinking Greyhawk boxed set with population figures and shit, and maybe some levels and classes for the npcs?), it gives a decent amount of background information. I should point out that most of this is high level shit, entire kingdoms at eachother throats, super-powerful mythical demi-god warrior stuff etc. and for most Pcs, a lot of this shit will be background stuff for a long time. What also happens sometimes is that you get a region where Shiva or Rama did something cool and now it is a wasteland with no reason to go there. Overall, while what’s there is decent, it needs more. More descriptions of Asura kings kicking ass and impaling midgets, more Rakshasa warlords burning villages, more mad and feuding kings etc. Give us some ruins with descriptions and origins and some reason to go there and find shit other then treasure. THERE IS AN NAGA CITY HEAAR is not a good hook. Nevertheless, this section is alright.

Next up is the dungeon section, or Patala underworld, a gigantic cave structure with seven lairs that runs all the way to hell, filled with Asuras, Nagas and other cool shit that you can beat the shit out of. This section is undeniably badass and I am unequivocally positive about it.
We get an overview of all seven lairs of the Patala underworld, one requires you to sneak/fight past a Naga king with poison breath to even get in and is ruled by a badass Asura named Bala with his 1000 strong succubi harem(or the Indian Equivalent). They will try to charm and seduce guests into “Unholy acts of sensual lust until they die of exhaustion.” Aw yeah.
Second lair is populated by ghosts and goblins(no wonder they call him ‘Pundit’. Ha ha. Get it? Pun?), Haragrivya, an Asura king who can only be slain by someone who is also called Haragrivya(I shit you not, that kicks ass). Also a city by Shiva for players to discover and retrieve something from.
Third lair is a paradise-prison guarded by Deva’s(demigods) trapping Bali, an Asura king so powerful he once almost conquered the universe. He seeks penance now but the gods are still understandably nervous about letting him go. Good place to have shit happen.
4th layer is ruled by Mayu, Asura lord of deception and architect of hell. He used to build gigantic floating death cities and now his entire clan has been imprisoned in the 4th layer, a labyrinth filled with architectural marvels and he likes to corrupt and torment visitors until they go insane. My first though was ‘why the fuck am I reading about cities that have already been destroyed? That sounds kickass. Why wasn’t I there? Fuck!’
5th layer we have our Naga-demi gods and our Asuras and our Rakshasas. Nothing special.
6th layer is ruled by a special tribe of Asuras but we don’t know what makes them special so we don’t care.
7th layer leads into the hell realms and holds the largest Naga City ever, with plenty of stuff to loot and magical aging-retardant disease curing milk to loot, along with a shitload of Nagas and a Naga god-king to guard your shit.
There’s a bunch of tables for generating random caves, tunnels, contents and different encounter tables for each level. This section is very useful but the random encounter tables are strange. We would expect the encounter tables to get progressively harder as you descend into the underworld, instead they actually get slightly easier as you descend, which is an odd choice.

Overland encounters is okay, encounter tables for overland shit. Nothing spectacular that you have not seen before, but it’s useful. Random quest table bears an unerring resemblance to the one from EoPt(p. 41) but I am inclined to let it go since the quests are very vague and general.

Next comes the monster section and it is bizarre(and not in a good way). People have pointed out the monsters are derivative(goblins, giants etc.) and Pundit retaliates by hiding behind mythological accuracy. He mentions 84 different creatures specifically taken from Indian mythology. What we actually get are 84 creatures, 40 of which are mundane or giant animals, reptiles, vermin or humans(bandits, barbarians etc.). We get giants, goblins, living dead(zombies), animate statues, air deva’s(air elemental), earth deva’s(guess), Fire Spirits(yup), Ghost ; Bhuta(like a ghost but indian and with the same stats) and skeletons. That’s 49 creatures we have seen before, not sufficiently different either mechanically or flavour-wise to qualify as different.
We get Type A to Type E Asura’s, which depressed me to no end, as well as pundit smugly mentioning that the GM can modify them to no end as these are meant to be general categories, along with a general purpose Asura Prince and King template. They might as well have been ripped straight from the AD&D monster manual. Terrible. Why isn’t the random monstrosity generator(there is a random creature in it, which also doesn’t count) used to generate Asura’s? Another bizarre case is the Preta, a super interesting creature from Hindu myth(looked it up on wiki) that Pundit actually went out of his way to make mechanically identical to a ghoul. This is symptomatic of Arrows of Indra as a whole. It doesn’t turn D&D into something cool. It turns something cool into D&D. It is anti-creative. It smothers heterogeneity wherever it rears its ugly head. We could go on, but the monster section was a massive letdown, and even a seven headed cobra couldn’t save it. Fucking throw out half the giant animals, rewrite every undead creature so it feels weird and exotic and make at least 6 entries about Asura Princes/races. Go nuts. Raktaveya, Ravana, Vritra, Trisias. Make up some yourself. These things are a major antagonist in your setting. Show us them.

The treasure section is the coup de grace. The fucking headshot to this abortion of a retro-clone. The paint is scraped off and reveals the corpse of D&D underneath. Again we see the pattern of Arrow of Indra taking shit that could have been really unique and fun and making it resemble the D&D we already know as much as possible. It’s almost as if it was made in some kind of alternate universe totalitarian world government controlled by a council of TsR Gygax androids where everything that deviates from the accepted parameters of D&D is ruthlessly supressed.
The Herb section. (Potion section with the serial numbers filed off). Curing Herb. Endurance Herb(gives con bonus). Herb Against Cold. Herb of Invisibility. Herb of Swiftness.
Minor Sutra’s! Like scrolls only they replicate enlightenment powers(which mostly replicate wizard spells).
Major Sutras. Like Librams and Tomes. This section feels slightly less derivative. Honourable mention to the Supreme Bhakti Sutras, which increases the chance of divine intervention by 5% for anyone who studies it. The rest mostly gives a level to certain classes or a permanent +1 to attacks or damage with something.
Mala beads(Palette swapped amulet section). Mala of Calming Animals. Mala of protection from affliction. Mala of sensing magic. Is this deliberate or is Pundit one of those Perilous dreamer kind of guys who hate everything non-OD&D?
Staffs. Like the staff section in D&D only the staffs have less abilities and may even have different names. For example, Pundit re-named the Rod of Cancellation to the Staff of Annuling Magic, and I think you should donate to his blog to support him fighting the good fight(no, no you shouldn’t).
Ring Section. Ring of Protection+2. Ring of True Vision. Ring of Aescetics(sustenance). Terrible.
Conch shells. Like horns. Guess which horn they correspond to. Shanka of devastating force. Deva-summoning Shaka. Shaka of Confusion in Battle. To be fair, these are the worst offenders, the conch shells have a lot of different powers. I would almost give it a pass if by this time I was not seething with rage.
Wonderous Items. Mostly derivative garbage(e.g gauntlets of ogre power in a dress, rope of climbing, plentiful cup that is a decanter of endless something), with a handful of decent items. A flying chariot of the gods. A magic wicker basket with a palace inside that is impregnable against all but the most powerful magic(If it’s a Daern’s instant fortress clone, it’s at least well disguised). A third eye that lets you control winds but not to hurricane strength.
A magic item and weapon section with an emphasis on bows that is not worth the price of admission but is not actively offensive either. Be prepared to gaze in awe at magic things that inflict 1d6 extra fire damage. A child could have thought of that.
Last and certainly not least is a list of artefact weapons to be granted by the gods themselves for specific quests. All of them are ridiculously powerful(an arrow that instantly disintegrates anything below 9 HD within 2000 feet, an arrow that gets +20 to hit and instantly kills his target(printed twice for no reason, once for shiva once for Vishnu, different names) etc.). They have no drawbacks and are likely to function mostly as plot devices(arrow that transforms into a rain of arrows and chakrams inflicting the enemies HD d8 to each enemy within 2000 feet). However, some have at least some lore attached to them and the effects can be a little badass, so these too get a very perfunctory pass. Note that some form of mass combat rules would have greatly increased the utility of shit like this.

And…close off with a decent overview of major religions. Recent amount of detail is given. No information of Asura princes and their rituals. Lame. Guessing its Unholy acts and perverse reflections of what the gods want. Whatever. Two appendixes, dealing with higher level play(what you would expect in B/X only without siege rules or mass combat) and one detailing future events in the Mahabharata. Not likely to see much use, but more interesting then 80% of the book.

Overall, while Arrows of Indra is undeniably functional, it is uninspired, derivative and falsely advertised. Pundit’s claims of only having to read the product to get a grip on Mythic India gaming are a sham. The few nuggets of creativity buried here and there do not save it from a likely unmarked rpg-grave at the bottom of a pit. I would pay perhaps $3.50 for the setting and underworld sections. The GM section should be free on a blog.

My recommendation is you spend your 10$ on reference works for Indian Mythology(you can read the Mahabharata and probably others online for free btw), download a free copy of labyrinth lord, OSRIC or swords and wizardry, and make your own setting. You can do better then this drivel.

Utility: Derivative but undeniably functional.
Presentation: Shitty art.
Creativity: Source material is great. Presentation thereof is lacking and the author should not be afraid to go beyond his source material a bit more. Game is overall a derivative waste of time, with the possible exception of the gazetteer and underworld sections.
Use your $10: To check out Against the Dark Yogi Instead.

[EDIT: The review continues…]

“They’re largely dissimilar. EPT is not based on D&D as such (though it shares some similarities) while AoI very clearly is. There’s some similarities in the magic system, if you’re talking about mechanics, and pretty much nothing else. I suppose you could say there’s also some similarities in the caste-skills system (if I’m remembering correctly, I haven’t read EPT in quite a while) but then again you could argue there’s about as much similarity to either with AD&D’s “secondary skills” system, except that AoI organizes the background/caste skills by social class, and actually has a skill-check mechanic (which is pretty similar to OGL/D20, which EPT obviously is not).”
-Pundit, on EoPT/Arrows magic similarities.

Thanks Perdustin!

Fuck it, in for a penny, in for a pound. Now where is that fucking 7chan link…
(sorry if im stealing your thunder Shiz, i need to know)

We should probably do a double blind test but fuck it. One of these has a tier system and the other does not. Note that in AoI’s case a power may be taken more then once. A power is usable 1/day unless clearly marked.[Edit: We disregard minor variations in the number of times a power can be used]
Identical powers are marked with an asterisk.

Priest Skills
1. Theology(skill)
2. Demonology(skill)
3. Languages*
4. Light for 2 hours(30 foot radius)*(1/day)
5. detect holy/unholy(1/day)
6. Heal wounds(touch, minor)* 1/day
7. Sense thoughts (1/day)*
8. Send telepathic message to single person 1/day 18 mile range with reply*
9. Protection from Evil – 3 turns 1/day*
10. More Healing*
11. Dominate (specified non-undead, non animal non-construct)*
12. Remove curse*

Versus

Priest skills
1. Languages(modern)** (single asterisk for both powers)
2. Languages(ancient)
3. Light(30 foot radius) 1/day. – Ten turns duration.*
4. Cure wounds(touch, minor) – 1/day*
5. Sense thoughts – 3/day*
6. Telepathic message with reply 3/day ambiguous range*
7. Protection from evil/good – 3 turns 1/day*
8. More Healing*
9. Dominate person(specified non-undead, non animal non-construct)*
10. Remove curse*
11. Raise dead/revivify
…I think Pundit might be in trouble.

10/12 vs 10/11 convergence(Telepathy was not literally identical because the range was different but i am counting it). Forgive my shitty math but is that an 86.9 percent match? And thats the ones that are identical. Holy shit!

Magic user skills:

1. Control Self(own body).*
2. Illusion power*
3. Clairaudience
4. Clairvoyance*
5. Telekinesis *
6. Astrology*
7. Speak with dead 3/day(unspecified method) and talk with people far away.*
8. Control animals/plants**(once for a control power)
9. Control undead/animate dead*
10. Control specific Underworld Creatures(might be Asura’s, might not be)
11. Touch of Death attack*

Magic user skills:
1. Control self(own body)*
2. Demonology
3. Illusion power*
4. Clairvoyance*
5. Astrology*
6. Telekinesis*
7. Speak with dead(astral travel) and talk with living beings/outsiders**
8. Control non-intelligent creatures(including monsters)
9. Control people(multiple)**
10. Control undead/animate dead*
11. Protection Spell
12. Touch of Death*

…I’d start sweating right about now if i was Pundit.
8/11 vs 8/12 approx. Thats still 69% with a lot of slack.

Acid test time. Enlightenment powers vs bonus spells. And these we CAN do by Tier/Level. Note that the means of aquiring them are identical.

Tier 1

1. Calm water/wind/people*
2. Create food/water*
3. Summon monsters*
4. Curse/Bless*
5. Dispel illusion*
6. Dispel Evil/good Spell*
7. Hold portal/open portal*
8. Cause fear*
9. Heal wounds(minor)*
10. Levitate*
11. Light*
12. Locate gold/gems
13. Locate objects*
14. Cause madness*
15. Cause disease*
16. Protection from evil/good*
17. Send wave of shadows that blind*
18. Detect other planar/invisible shit/True vision*

Tier 1(fucked up the order)
1. Light*
2. Calm water/wind/people*
3. Protection from evil/good*
4. Dispel Magic spell*
5. Bless/Curse*
6. Charm monster*
7. Send field of warped perceptions that blind*
8. Find object*
9. Cause insanity(Gaze)*
10. Create food and water*
11. Heal wounds(minor
12. Levitate*
13. Open Portal*
14. Dispel illusion*
15. Cause disease*
16. Hold Portal*
17. Summon Monster*
18. Cause Fear*
19. True vision*
20. Blind Gaze

…If you are reading this Pundit. This is going to get out. We are coming. (17/18 + 19/20). 94.7 % identical. This is some deep next level matrix shit.

Tier 2
1. Charm monster(identical to charm monster tier 1, different game)*
2. Blast of cold*
3. Summon monsters(medium)*
4. Curse Disease*
5. Dispel Magic(Greater) – also works on items*
6. X-ray vision*
7. Bigby’s crushing hand(equivalent)
8. Moar healing*
9. Invisibility(Aura)*
10. Neutralize poison*
11. paralysis(chance of permanence second save)*
12. petrify(level drain chance)*
13. Sleep*
14. Slow/haste*
15. transmute mud/water/stone
16. poison cloud*
17. wither limb
18. Curse people to act like animals*

Tier 2
1. Dispel magic(Greater) – Also works on items*
2. Invisibility(Aura)*
3. Walk on Water/Liquid surface
4. Poison cloud*
5. Cure Disease*
6. Moar healing*
7. Become intangible/Walk through solid matter
8. Curse people so their minds become like animals*
9. Paralysis gaze(can become permanent)*
10. X-ray vision*
11. Petrify*
12.Summon monsters(illusionary, function like monsters)*
13. Polymorph Self/Others*
14. Gaze that deals damage over time
15. Sleep*
16. Summon monsters(medium)*
17.Slow*
18. Haste*
19. Wave of Cold*
20. Neutralize poison*

…And it will be damaging to your already tarnished reputation. I promise you this.
15/18+17/20. 86.8 percent convergence. What are the standards for plagiarism again?

Tier 3
1. Create illusion monsters(different tier)*
2. Polymorph self/others(different tier)*
3. Control terrain/earth
4. Greater summoning(single monster)*
5. Call Demon*
6. Doomkill area save or die spell, unpredictable, uses fire
7.Enchant weapons/armour*
8. Blue lightning bolt that deals damage
9. Glittering protection that requires 18 or higher to pass(fuck you im counting it)*
10. Protection from normal weapons(companions also)*
11. Geas(or permanent dominate)
12. Quest*
13. Ressurection*
14. Reincarnation*
15. Develop new spell(research)
16. Spread Plague(cause mass infectious disease)*
17. Protection from missiles and spells(works on user+companions)*
18. Steal soul*
19. Teleport*
20. Walls(fire/ice/stone/swords/wind etc.)
21. Weather control*
22. Wish*

Tier 3
1.Steal soul*
2. Spread plague(cause mass infectious disease)*
3. Control weather*
4. Quest*
5. Reincarnate*
6. Enchant weapons/armour
7. Flight
8. Ressurection*
9. Earth swallows up someone to hell
10. Volley of magical darts
11. Protection from missiles and some spells works on companions*
12. Shield that forces saving throw to attack pc*
13. Summon Greater Being(not singular)* [yeah real creative you made it 1d3)
14. Summon Demon/Deva*
15. Heal/Restore withered limb
16. Protection from normal weapons*
17. Magic lightning bolt that desintegrates all who fail saving throw(going to say that one is sufficiently different for the purposes of this exercise)
18. Teleport*
19. Wish*
20. Fire area attack

The rabbit hole goes deep. 15/22+14/20 = 69.0 % identical, with a few cases that are open for debate is the best the magic system can do as far as originality. Jon? This will get out.

[EDIT: MOAR BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD]

While Pundit is in full Historical Revision mode, allow me to adress the fact that i may have described spells simpler then they appeared in an effort to create a similarity that does not exist(implying that i would need to do this, which is sadly not the case). To reiterate my standpoint(which Pundit has been strawmanning to no end, dragging everything from Forge swine, grognards.txt, SA goons, the KGB, the Big Purple to SJW and my alleged transphobia(but that’s neither here nor there) into the discussion in a futile effort to obscure the actual point), he lazily based his entire magic system on EoPT, gave zero credit for it, tried to obscure the similarities, and now suddenly admits it but its not a big deal its mechanically similar guys. It wouldnt have been a point, had you actually done some work of your own and mentioned, oh yeah i based it off of EoPT, what a fun game, just not accessible.

-OSR is fine. New take on old system. Less corporate bullshit. More of a hobby culture with diversity. Fun.
-Direct Retroclone is fine if acknowledged as such. Way of bringing new campaign settings, takes on old stuff, adventures onto a market. Not sure about paying for it, but most retroclones offer their core rules for free. Fun.
– DCC and Loftp use an old framework to make something different from what there was before. Fun.
-Cynical huckster that takes someone’s body of work and passes it off as his own without acknowleging the contributions and indeed, shitting on the very body of work that produced those ideas while making it appear as though he made it up himself and did all the research. Pundit essentially copied/pallette swapped an entire section of a game without nary a hint of acknowledgement(it was only after the question was asked that he admitted the similarities). Not Fun. See?

Instead of cherry-picking i’ll just present the priest skills that i have marked specifically as being similar. I am not claiming similarity for anything i have not specifically marked. If anyone wants to see the rest, go right ahead and ask. I don’t need to lie or make up wild accusations like Pundit. Notice also that he already lied about having read Empire of the Petal Throne a long time ago and he cannot remember it clearly. First it was, based off the same source material, now its, based off the mechanics but so what? Way to shift those goal posts there champ.

Don’t take my word for it. Check it yourself. Make up your own mind. (i didnt even have to change the order the fucking things came in).

Priest skills(EoPT, page 20)
-Know two modern languages : a list of available languages was given in Sec . 420. A
knowledge of Tsolyani is assumed, unless the player is starting in some other country.
-Know two ancient languages : these, too, were listed in Sec . 420. These languages are
very important for the reading of scrolls, books, maps, etc
-Production of light : this spell produces a soft radiance with a radius of 3 inches [N .B .one inch = 10 feet in the Underworld].
-Detect evil/good : this warns the user of hostile alignments inherent in objects, adjoining
rooms, etc. It does not work when used upon persons or creatures, and it does not indicate the exact type of danger. It lasts two turns, and it is usable only once a day.
-Cure light wounds : this restores 1-6 points of lost hit dice points to any being . A 6-sided
die is rolled to determine the number of points restored to the character. It is usable only once a day.
-ESP : the user can detect the thoughts of living beings (though not undead or soulless
automatons, etc.) in adjoining rooms . It operates up to a distance of 2 inches (20
feet), lasts two turns, and can be used three times a day .
Telepathy: this makes it possible for a character to commune telepathically with another character, and for that character to reply, though no other can hear this conversation . It works over a distance of 24 inches, lasts one turn, and can be used three times a day .
-Protection from evil/good : this creates a one inch circle of protection around the user .
It cannot be penetrated by undead ; it adds + 1 to all saving throws, and it takes away -2 points from the damage dice done by an attacker . It lasts three turns and can be used once a day.
-Cure serious wounds : this spell restores 2 6- sided dice of lost hit points . It can be
used only once a day.
-Control person : 1-6 persons (including intelligent nonhumans, but not animals,
Underworld creatures, automatons, etc .) can be brought under the user’s control for 3 turns. A saving throw against spells is permitted (see below) . There is no possibilityof this spell operating against a person of greater than seventh level . It can be used only once a day, and it has a maximum range of fifty feet .
-Remove curse : this spell takes away curses from objects, changes the alignment of
swords and other magical weapons, restores magically changed beings and objects to their proper forms, and returns beings driven mad by magic or by certain Underworld creatures to sanity . Usable upon one person or object only, and only once a day.

Priest Skills(arrows of indra p. 37).
-LANGUAGES: Each time this skill is taken, the Priest gains a new language other than Prakrit (the common language of Jagat) or Sanskrit (the Holy language). Sample
languages include the various barbarian languages (such as the language of the golden lands), the Bhil language, the musical language of the Gandharvas, the Yaksha
language, the demonic language of the Asuras, the Naga tongue etc. This skill can be taken up to & times. [To be honest, this one is kind of forgivable and you are free to disregard it].
-THE ARCANA OF LIGHT: A ten minute ritual, it will make the Priest’s body shine with a Holy light that illuminates everything for 30 feet around him. This light lasts for 2 hours or until the Priest wills it to extinguish. The ritual can be performed once per day. This skill can be taken only once.
-THE ARCANA OF KARMA VISION: This twenty minute ritual will give the Priest a true vision, to sense whether those he sees are of Holy, Unholy, or neutral alignment.
It will also inform him if any objects in his line of sight are Holy or Unholy. It lasts for 20 minutes. This ritual can be performed once per day. The second time this arcana is taken, the power of the arcana increases so that the Priest can sense the presence of Holy or Unholy beings or objects within 60 feet even if they are hidden from sight. This skill can be taken twice.
-THE ARCANA OF HEALING: This ritual, which takes 10 minutes to perform, allows the Priest to heal 1d6+1 hit points of damage on one person he touches; including himself. It can be used once per day. This skill can be taken up to three times, each subsequent time granting an additional use per day.
-THE ARCANA OF THE OPENED MIND: This ritual, which takes 20 minutes to perform, allows the Priest to sense the thoughts of all the beings within 20 feet of his person.
He can sense the most pressing thoughts of anyone in this range, and their general intentions toward the Priest; in the case of animals he can sense their basic instincts. He cannot detect the thoughts of any creature who does not have a consciousness as such, such as animated statues; nor can he sense the thoughts of the living dead. This magic lasts for 20 minutes. This ritual can be used once per day. This skill can be taken up to three times, each additional time it is taken it allows the ritual to be cast once more per day.
-THE ARCANA OF THE VOICE IN THE SILENCE: This ritual, which takes 30 minutes to perform, allows the Priest to speak a message of pure thought with another individual he must name. The chosen individual will be able to hear the Priest’s words in his mind; and if he is of Holy or Unholy alignment will be able to send a response. Neither the Priest nor the person he is contacting need to actually talk for the communication to take place. The
communication can be sent to anyone up to 18 miles away, if the individual selected is further away than that, the ritual fails. The conversation can last up to 10 minutes. This skill can be taken up to three times, each additional time allows the ritual to be performed once
more per day.
-THE ARCANA OF THE AURA OF HOLINESS: This ritual, which takes 10 minutes to perform, grants the Priest a Holy aura around his person. The living dead, ghosts, and
some minor demonic creatures will not be able to come within ‘$ feet of his person. Additionally, any other being of Unholy alignment will suffer a – 2 penalty to hit him
in combat. Also, the Priest gains a +’ to all saving throws for the duration of the effect. The magic lasts for 30 minutes. This skill can only be taken once. Note: Raskshasa
and other Unholy Priests who gain this skill will emanate an aura of Unholiness, which has the exact same effect except that beings of Holy alignment (rather than Unholy alignment) will suffer the – 2 penalty to hit him.
-THE GREATER ARCANA OF HEALING: This ritual, which takes 20 minutes to perform, allows the Priest to heal 2d6+2 hit points of damage on one person he touches; including
himself. It can be used only once per day; but this skill can be taken twice granting an additional use per day.
-THE ARCANA OF DOMINION: This ritual, which takes 10 minutes to perform, grants the Priest incredible power of influence over others. For 30 minutes after he
performs the ritual, everyone who is in his immediate presence (within 50 feet), and is of 7th level or less must make a saving throw vs. magic to resist being so enchanted by the Priest’s spiritual power that they will want to obey his commands. This power does not
affect animals, non-living animated objects, or the living dead. The Priest cannot order them to do any harm to themselves (though he can order them to surrender themselves or otherwise cease aggression or resistance), nor can he order them to perform any act that would be Unholy (unless the Priest performing the arcana is a Rakshasa or other kind of Unholy Priest). Anyone under the Priest’s enchantment will return to their normal senses
if they leave his presence, or after the magic’s duration comes to an end. The ritual can be performed only once per day. This skill can only be taken once
-THE ARCANA OF PURIFICATION: This ritual takes one hour to perform. It will liberate a person or object of any magical curse that has not been placed upon them by a God or greater Asura; removing the negative effects of such curses. It will remove the Unholy quality of an object, and will make individuals of Unholy alignment Neutral, or of Neutral alignment Holy. It will restore anyone who has been magically transformed into another
shape back to their original form. It will cure anyone who has been driven mad of their insanity. This ritual can only be performed once a day, and will work on only one person or object each time it is performed. This skill can only be taken once.

1,271 Comments leave one →
  1. Scott permalink
    December 3, 2014 6:46 pm

    Disclaimer #1: I know nothing about RPGPundit (sp?) other than that his avatar is Bill the Butcher. The giant back tattoo upon which we’re currently working is an elegant, behatted Victorian gentleman in profile, flanked by swordcanes and gewgaws and whatnot. Coincidence? Yes.

    Disclaimer #2: There is literally no way I’ll ever read the product being reviewed and I only care about this because I derive calories from schadenfreude.

    My comments on the review:

    1) “I am peripherally affiliated” lol

    2) “a close personal friend on [*]chan” lol

    3) “Indian” lol

    4) “Hindu religion” lol

    5) “Empire of the Petal Throne” is the only p&p gaming thing I’ve ever looked at and said “OK, there’s literally no way I could have produced this myself”

    Missed y’all ~xoxo

    • Scott permalink
      December 3, 2014 6:55 pm

      Disclaimer #3: I didn’t come close to reading all that

    • Kent permalink
      December 3, 2014 9:45 pm

      “Empire of the Petal Throne” is the only p&p gaming thing I’ve ever looked at and said “OK, there’s literally no way I could have produced this myself”

      Scott, you are amazing at Dungeons and Dragonses. By the way I heard the W Virginia accent on a documentary and it sucks.

      • Scott permalink
        December 5, 2014 10:03 pm

        There are many West Virginia accents and if any of them are any more mellifluous than another, I’ll be damned if I can tell. However, I did not have the good fortune to be born or grow up here in Almost Heaven.

        How I’ve missed you, you magnificent bastard ❤

  2. Tenser's Flogging Dicks permalink
    December 3, 2014 7:24 pm

    I have often vaguely wondered if there is any walk to back up all the talk. Never been curious enough to purchase the Mad Polak’s work, mind (especially considering Raggi flat-out refused to publish Dark Albion) but I do appreciate the review. I’d like to see “undeniable functional” quoted on the cover from here out.

  3. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    December 3, 2014 7:55 pm

    Shorter Prince of Nothing: “Your Subcontinent Is Suck!”

  4. December 3, 2014 7:56 pm

    Hmmmm… there’s a joke about an “incontinent subcontinent” in here somewhere.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      December 3, 2014 8:57 pm

      Wrecked him? Nearly killed him.

  5. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    December 3, 2014 10:44 pm

    I once played in a Pathfinder game where one guy played a male half-orc barbarian who dolled himself up like a female prostitute and rolled would-be johns in a back alley behind the obligatory warehouse to raise some quick cash. But this is what we really needed:

    http://paizo.com/products/btpy9al3?Classes-of-the-Lost-Spheres-Paramour

    Classes of the Lost Spheres: Paramour (PFRPG) pdf $3.95

    That’s the Power of Love.

    Introducing the Paramour, a passion-powered character class for the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game. Fueled by the Tides of Passion, the Paramour masters powerful Expressions to put their surging (er) emotions to use saving the ones they love. This supplement introduces the new Paramour base class and rules-elements including:

    The Heart’s Redoubt, explaining why so many pure-hearted souls might survive their first unintended dungeon (or other unintended encounter?).

    Roleplaying advice and options for playing characters in games where in-game romances are frowned on or unavailable (those self-righteous prudes!).

    The Narcissist Archetype for characters who aren’t ready to love at all beyond their own mirrors (dibs!).

    No word yet on whether they are restricting players to hetero-normative cis-gendered binary notions of sex and gender unlike more enlightened games like 5E and that other one with the anal circumference rules. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m getting tired of just reading all my “Mounted by the Minotaur” books and I’m ready to start role-playing a different kind of game.

    • OCBD permalink
      December 4, 2014 6:26 am

      Oscar Anderson Likes this.

  6. PrinceofNothing. permalink
    December 4, 2014 12:47 am

    Thanks for the reacharound and my apologies for the staggering amount of spelling errors. I had run out of my goverment heroin at this point.

    • December 4, 2014 2:14 am

      You read it so we didn’t have to, a heroic sacrifice, to be sure. Did you delete the PDF already?

      Better yet, did you post this at the ‘Shite?

      9 out of 10 stars Beldany shower curtains.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 4, 2014 2:26 am

      I should fucking post it at the ‘shite shouldn’t I? It would mean actually having to make an account there, and some rough editing and the creation of an expurgated version, but I suppose I might as well do the effort.

  7. forget food stamps permalink
    December 4, 2014 3:00 am

    Ha, hillbilly trying to sell prints of pdfs on DF – http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=68575. “I’m not trying to be a knockoff publisher, just getting rid of some stuff.” I’ve clearly been missing out on an opportunity here; when I want to “get rid” of printed D&D pdfs, I generally just put them in the recycle bin. I could have literally made dozens of dollars this way over the years. Dozens!

    • December 4, 2014 4:59 am

      You neglected to mention this ‘hillbilly’ is Mjollnir! Be prepared for swastika doodles in the margins.

      • did I forget to mention the name of the hillbilly? permalink
        December 4, 2014 6:18 am

        Yeah, I wanted that part to be a surprise, a little lagniappe for folks who bothered to click the link!

        It almost makes him human in a bloodymage kind of way. I mean all the racism and whatnot is surely just a product of his clearly impoverished peckerwood lot in life. Bet you a dollar that if we switched him with Winthorpe we could make him a citizen.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 4, 2014 5:02 am

      Hey, that’s our favorite Gay Nazi Mjollnir putting the Pirate back in Butt Pirate! He’s from Oklahoma? He must miss his old buddy Timothy McVeigh. Anybody check Mjollnir’s trunk for a fertilizer bomb just in case that Jew lover Clinton Obama ticked him off today?

    • December 4, 2014 7:09 am

      Damn, he out-Blooey’s Blooey! Buy my bootleg product!

      Speaking of Blooey:

      http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=68536

      • December 16, 2014 11:32 am

        Fuck, they’re still cranking out new versions of Castles and Crusades? Talk about beating a dead horse that’s beating a dead horse! Sheeeeeeeeit!

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 4, 2014 9:43 am

      No surprise that he is hanging onto his pdf-printed-self-bound, heavily stained copy of the Mein Kampf RPG. Although it only goes for about 3 Reichsmarks at Gencon.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 4, 2014 10:10 am

        Was that a “gritty reboot” of his Jizz and Kleenex RPG?

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 4, 2014 10:24 am

        I believe you have that confused with his “Food Fuck Selfie” RPG, subtitled, “You Don’t Know Where That Banana Has Been.”

      • bloodymage permalink
        December 4, 2014 1:53 pm

        No money. 😦

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 4, 2014 12:42 pm

      I don’t think he’s selling pirated hard copies to pay for his meth habit or rent-boy habit. I can think of two perfectly honest explanations for his actions. The first is that he’s selling all of his stuff so he can relocate to Ireland, moving in with Kent so they can do a “gay and game” thing between marathon white-power bitch sessions. Now that Kent is back to crushing on Scott, this plan is probably on hold.

      The more probable reason is that he’s getting rid of his bound PDFs because Oscsr Anderson, billionaire dinosaur, has provided him with copies printed on pterodactyl-wing vellum and bound between Corythosaurus-leather covers.

      The guy may be an asshole Nazi rump-ranger, but he’s no thief, unless you’re talking about the B/X campaign he’s involved in with his klavern.

    • bloodymage permalink
      December 4, 2014 1:52 pm

      No money. 😦

  8. PrinceofNothing permalink
    December 4, 2014 3:39 am

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?p=802169#post802169

    Done bitches. Had to edit some things to prevent a violation of forum rules.

    • December 4, 2014 5:21 am

      Glorious! The slight edits seem to be enough to conform their “free speech 4 ever” policy, unlike here. Have a fucking exalt.

      Currently smoking: herb against glaucoma

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 4, 2014 6:30 am

      Prince, thou art a King. Balls of Plutonium Nyborg.

      You and Schiz (from his eye-stabbing perusal and review of Tao’s shitty novel) have sacrificed so much for us. We are in your debt, kind sirrahs.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      December 4, 2014 7:12 am

      Over/under on Tarnowski finding some flimsy justification for taking the review down?

      “Site disruption.”

      • December 4, 2014 1:13 pm

        Nailed it!

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 4, 2014 1:57 pm

        And also Doxxing and Stalking. Whatever that means.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        December 4, 2014 1:59 pm

        Isn’t a doxie a result on the random harlot table?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 4, 2014 2:37 pm

        By “doxxing”, he means your use of his real name, though that stretches the definition- you didn’t reveal his address or contact info.

        “Stalking” is his bullshit way of saying you made him sad and angry.

        I imagine he’s done worse regarding the “swine” he rails about.

        I like his bit about returning with a point-by-point rebuttal. I imagine he’s sweating, knowing he’s bringing a chakram to a Bhairava-Mudra fight. I can’t wait to see him huffing and puffing about the originality and brilliance of his dull elf rakshasa game.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 4, 2014 2:52 pm

        I wonder if he is in for a bit of a discussion. I’ll play it real nice, robe all polished and in midnight clad, gauntlets freshly oiled, perfect gentleman. Because his argumentation is pretty shit. Would he be open to that? What if i wear my helmet? Do you think he would be open to that?

        I think at this point, if i beat him, i might have to actually write that game he challenged me to. An OSR off. Hot damn.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 4, 2014 3:14 pm

        If you want to crowd-source a better OSR India RPG, I’m in. I think making Rashasas a playable character race is a serious misstep- removes the “Oh, shit!” factor such a fight should have. Also, you MUST include “tapas”, have those weird contingencies protecting opponents- it’s a great adventure hook. He’ll, even open it up to PC’s and let players come up with weird sacrifices or austerities so they can gain an advantage in an upcoming fight. “If you sacrifice your favorite magic item, you can get double hit points during your duel with Drona.”

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 4, 2014 3:20 pm

        First my thesis dissertation and then we’ll talk shop.

        I’ll give John credit on one point, a mythic India campaign setting was a brilliant marketing ploy since no one i’ve ever heard of(Against the Dark Yogi now) had ever done it. Except Barker of course(but he did something original, so he’s swine). Pity it sucks.

        Btw, you seem to be reasonably well read as regards to mythic India. From whence doth this knowledge come(If that isn’t doxxing)?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 4, 2014 3:43 pm

        I took a couple of college courses dealing with it, one of my college roommates was a nice Brahmin kid born in Agra, but raised in the U.S., and I typed a lot of my term papers on a Mac adjacent to the shelf in the linguistics lab that held a multi-volume Mahabharata and a ten volume collection of translated Vedic texts titled “The Ocean of Story”.

        I’m not an expert, but I know my asura from a hole in the ground.

      • December 10, 2014 10:57 pm

        “I’m not an expert, but I know my asura from a hole in the ground.”

        ~vibes

    • December 4, 2014 7:14 am

      Fan-fucking-tastic!!!

      Currently smoking: the crater that used to be Pundejo. The Bhairava-mudra could not have done a bigger number on the guy.

      10 out of 10 Vaishnavite Artifact Weapons.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        December 4, 2014 1:17 pm

        “Site disruption!”

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, fucker’s so predictable.

  9. December 4, 2014 7:48 am

    He could have saved time by admitting it was an EotPT cut-and-paste:

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=31137

    “Great question, I filed the serial numbers off a better game and claimed it as my own work.”

    There’s some bonus hilarity in there about Real Magick and Western Occult Pracktices (sic).

    • PrinceofNothing. permalink
      December 4, 2014 9:39 am

    • justme permalink
      December 4, 2014 1:50 pm

      D&D and European culture has been ripping of Indian myth for ages so why shouldn’t RPGPUD have done the same thing? So what if someone else he ripped off had chosen to do something original with that inspiration and he hadn’t?

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 4, 2014 2:30 pm

      Shiiiit i better get my Mantras of the Luminous Form stacked up and waiting. Don’t wanna miss that sweet cable tv in Uruguay. But let’s dig in shall we(for the last time, after that, i shall depart for the sweet windmills and dykes of my homeland).

      I am apparently a serious transphobe(but that’s neither here nor there).

      That’s how the reply starts. Oh dears. Character assasination should be done after one makes a point, not before, maybe during, either way, very unseemly.

      Next is a concession that yes, he totally based it off of EoPT, which is nice, because that essentially shits on his I WORKED SUPER HARD TO MAKE A MAGIC SYSTEM GUYS. Notice how this huge debt to Barkers work was not acknowleged before i pointed this out? And yes, both of it was based off of Indian mythology, but one of those did something interesting and the other adhered closely to the letter of the myths and failed creatively.

      He also asks if i could make an OSR game that incorporates authentic cultural/mythological elements and do it right, which is stating his premise as a conclusion, that AoI did it right and i think a challenge, but when the bar is this low and we are free to incorporate elements from other games without actually building on them in any significant way, it wouldn’t be that hard really.

      And again, he misses my point entirely. Yes, most of those items in D&D are based off of mythology(also S&S novels, lewis Caroll, and any other appendix N). That does not mean Pundit is somehow forced to make exactly the same interpretation as they did. Is he saying creativity is impossible in a historically/mythically accurate game?

      Also i am now friends with the Swine, because in this world you are either black or white and by gosh making distinctions between the people that dissaprove of Pundit takes effort away from copy-pasting things. Generally calling someone stupid is only effective if you are not a huge idiot.

      Ah las, my reign, it has ended. But fear not. I shall be back. Oh yes. I shall be back.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 4, 2014 2:43 pm

        It’s one thing to base something off mythology or literature, another thing entirely to base it off something based on those things. It’s a copy of a pastiche, with all of the loss of integrity that implies. I would not try to pass off something paraphrased from an encyclopedia entry as a scholarly work.

      • December 4, 2014 3:21 pm

        I have to admit I thought Tarnowski would find a simpler way to answer the question of whether he’s gone batshit than draping himself in a homemade OSR flag . . . for what reason, exactly? Is it a cry for attention, relevance, fucking “help?” Free clue though, grognards.txt is still going on my planet.

        Currently nibbling: tapas (the herb makes you hungry)

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 4, 2014 3:28 pm

        Fuck! Pay attention you apes! Page 2! Mister Guignol is asking dangerous questions.

      • December 4, 2014 3:32 pm

        Easy enough way to answer that shit, I whip out my EPT and we do a blind taste test right here this weekend. Or even run it through one o’ them academic plagiarism tools.

      • December 4, 2014 3:41 pm

        Prince, even though you are a transphobe stalker doxxy (or is that transphobe doxxy stalker?), I salute you. Pundit’s response was hilarious! He acknowledges his debt to EPT (after failing to do so previously), but then slams EPT:

        “could I do what EPT tried to do, but do it right?” and “EPT was hijacked at a very early point in its history…”

        For those of you who may not know, for years Professor Barker was held captive in his basement at gunpoint and had no control over his creation. Fortunately, pundit copied “rescued” the magic system.

        “The magic system was of course one of the trickiest things to handle…”

        Very tricky indeed!

      • December 4, 2014 3:47 pm

        So wait… are we the blacks or the whites? (Asking for Mjollnir.)

  10. Sykirobme permalink
    December 4, 2014 11:21 am

    Ooh, here’s Tarnowski starting a discussion on an aspect of D&D gaming that’s definitely NOT old hat/a dead horse/a jibbajibba rant:

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=31177

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 4, 2014 11:39 am

      Yeah, the dungeons make no sense, but the dragons and the fireball-lobbing wizards do. This shit drives me up a tree, no wonder a glum killjoy like Pundejo released an uninspired, derivative product like Arrows of BECMIndra.

      My biggest pet peeve is the “Shaolin monks don’t belong in a Medieval European setting”. Funny, I don’t see Golonda or Beldany on a map of Europe. I do see Beldany hanging on a rod in the bathroom, though…

    • justme permalink
      December 4, 2014 1:54 pm

      What dungeons are uncool again, damn I wish the cool kids would make up their fucking minds, now I have to change “The lost tunnels of Undervolcano” into “The lost alleys of the ruins of Overvolcano” to stay cool.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        December 4, 2014 2:00 pm

        Since when was Tarnowski ever a “cool kid?”

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 4, 2014 3:46 pm

        Since he wrote his latest blog post about awkward nerds.

  11. d4 Bore permalink
    December 4, 2014 11:23 am

    Ssshhh don’t tell anyone, but he’s back!

    http://grognardia.blogspot.com.es/p/grognardia-games.html

    And already selling something…

    http://grognardia.blogspot.com.es/p/blog-page.html

  12. Sykirobme permalink
    December 4, 2014 12:11 pm

    CRKrueger’s tellin’ on ya, Prince!

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showpost.php?p=802226&postcount=2

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 4, 2014 12:58 pm

      HULK CRITICIZE!!!!!

    • bloodymage permalink
      December 4, 2014 2:03 pm

      And I’m not OK, but I won’t bore anyone w/ details.

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      December 4, 2014 2:35 pm

      That CKrueger guy has got to be a pile of fucking lard.

    • CRKrueger permalink
      December 5, 2014 2:55 pm

      He went through such a thorough and painstaking job of removing every instance of Pundit’s name, I thought I’d tell him he missed one.

      • December 5, 2014 3:01 pm

        Hey, you seem like you know what’s going on over there — why is he still trippin’ over his name? In the new D&D it literally credits him as John “The RPGPundit” Tarnowski. So why does he pull out the pod people point ‘n’ shriek DOXXERS!!!! when his name comes up?

      • CRKrueger permalink
        December 5, 2014 4:14 pm

        As far as the name goes, dunno. RPGPundit is catchier then his real name, Bill the Butcher is cool, and he’s put a lot of energy in creating the persona would be my guess. To be fair, he blocks out other people’s names if they say they don’t want them mentioned either, so maybe it’s a personal thing with him.

      • Scott permalink
        December 5, 2014 10:05 pm

        “So why does he pull out the pod people point ‘n’ shriek DOXXERS!!!! when his name comes up?”

        Because no one knows what mopery is anymore?

  13. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    December 4, 2014 12:56 pm

    I hope Raggi decides to put out a LotFP “Dark India” sourcebook, complete with giant lingam and yoni monsters to bring out those warped psychosexual themes he so favors. Picture a Bollywood horror musical directed by Rob Zombie. That would be a great rebuff after declining to consider “Dark Albion”.

  14. PrinceofNothing permalink
    December 4, 2014 1:04 pm

    You have been banned for the following reason:
    No reason was specified.

    Date the ban will be lifted: 12-11-2014, 10:00 PM

    Ah las i am undone.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 4, 2014 1:11 pm

      You can repost it in a week.

  15. December 4, 2014 1:18 pm

    Prince, you know he’s going to use Rune Magick to make sure that you will never get cable TV in Uruguay.

  16. bloodymage permalink
    December 4, 2014 2:01 pm

    Supposed to be going back to get my head reopened the end of the month. Life’s not much fun for the mage anymore. 🙄 And I’m not OK, but I won’t bore anyone w/ details. I’m confused and in constant pain but I’m not yet dead. Gotta tend to my clothes right now. Life has gotten hella expensive! No money. 😦

  17. Dildatory Interlude permalink
    December 4, 2014 2:37 pm

    Any consensus as to who the ugliest poster on the RPGSite is? I know most of the chublords over there use bullshit pictures to disguise their up-sized jowls, but who are the real horrorshow motherfuckers on that forum that use their monstrous faces as their avatars?

    • Sykirobme permalink
      December 4, 2014 2:51 pm

      Will. Fucking Christ, Will.

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        December 4, 2014 3:11 pm

        Will is a strong contender (for an early heart-attack) fo sho. He’s a total champ:

        he’s making a “microlite” (what the fuck that is) of the new D&D (http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=31142)…and yet has never actually played the new D&D. (And probably hasn’t played a game in a room with actual people in yeeeeeaaaars.)

        he’s a “stay-at-home-dad” (read: workshy)

        he is so weak-bodies that he hurt himself playing a computer game (http://www.therpgsite.com/showpost.php?p=800249&postcount=326)

        Seriously, how bad shape do you need to be in to sprain something playing a fucking Star Trek game?

        All he needs is a Kickstarter and the revelation of serious depression symptoms to make it the the golden circle.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 4, 2014 3:55 pm

        Tying together Indian culture and computer game related injuries, Will could improve his range of motion and musculoskeletal health by working out with Indian clubs, which are actually Persian:

        http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_club

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        December 4, 2014 4:54 pm

        Spraining a rotator muscle in your shoulder from high-tension mousing? Will, you are hardcore L33t.

        Recognize!

      • Scott permalink
        December 5, 2014 10:09 pm

        I hate it when these people post about or link to their kids 😦 Stop humanizing yourselves, fuckers

  18. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    December 4, 2014 3:03 pm

    Just read Pundejo’s response to Prince in the thread about Magic in Arrows of BECMIndra. Pundejo’s assertion that European myth “ripped off” Indian myth falls under the category of “not even wrong”. Pundejo is ignoring the common origin of all Indo-European languages and cultures- kinda like saying that Romanian ripped off its vocabulary from Italian. Bringing “The Forge” into the discussion was the doodoo icing on the crap cake- he defends his expropriation without attribution, or even acknowledgment, by bitching about Burning Wheel?

    News flash, Pundejo, Zeus, Thor, Indra- all one guy!

    Q: So, gamers, we gonna fight titans, jotuns, or asuras tonight?

    A: Yes

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 4, 2014 3:25 pm

      Yeah i kind of figured mythology, like culture, is something that cross-fertilizes like crazy, hence the similarities in pretty much every body of myths. Of course the point was never that he ripped it off. The point was he did a terrible job basing it on myth, since by his defenition everything is a ripoff. Man i hope i will still be interested/allowed to reply in a week. Ah well.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      December 4, 2014 5:07 pm

      Technically Zeus and Thor were different guys. They were two of the twelve different Kings of Atlantis until the giant outer-space meteor hit and sank the continent 12,000 years ago causing the biblical floods. They were then reappropriated by the Greeks as the Gods of Olympus (Atlantis).

  19. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 4, 2014 4:10 pm

    Speaking of the “looks” department, if anybody wants to see what our old surfing/cooking/comic reading-chickenshit Christian Walker looks like without his long Samson locks, pop over to his blog (the last remaining of around 5 of them) and gander at his profile selfie. Big changes like that can only be brought on by major events like divorce or some other hurtful experience. He’s either going for Leonard from Big Bang Theory, or Lesbian Republican, or both.

    While there, check out his latest post. It’s about an observatory with telescopes that look…down. Always on the cutting edge, he is.

    http://unknownzine.blogspot.com/

  20. PrinceofNothing permalink
    December 4, 2014 5:48 pm

    “They’re largely dissimilar. EPT is not based on D&D as such (though it shares some similarities) while AoI very clearly is. There’s some similarities in the magic system, if you’re talking about mechanics, and pretty much nothing else. I suppose you could say there’s also some similarities in the caste-skills system (if I’m remembering correctly, I haven’t read EPT in quite a while) but then again you could argue there’s about as much similarity to either with AD&D’s “secondary skills” system, except that AoI organizes the background/caste skills by social class, and actually has a skill-check mechanic (which is pretty similar to OGL/D20, which EPT obviously is not).”
    -Pundit, on EoPT/Arrows magic similarities.

    Thanks Perdustin!

    Fuck it, in for a penny, in for a pound. Now where is that fucking 7chan link…
    (sorry if im stealing your thunder Shiz, i need to know)

    We should probably do a double blind test but fuck it. One of these has a tier system and the other does not. Note that in AoI’s case a power may be taken more then once. A power is usable 1/day unless clearly marked.[Edit: We disregard minor variations in the number of times a power can be used]
    Identical powers are marked with an asterisk.

    Priest Skills
    1. Theology(skill)
    2. Demonology(skill)
    3. Languages*
    4. Light for 2 hours(30 foot radius)*(1/day)
    5. detect holy/unholy(1/day)
    6. Heal wounds(touch, minor)* 1/day
    7. Sense thoughts (1/day)*
    8. Send telepathic message to single person 1/day 18 mile range with reply*
    9. Protection from Evil – 3 turns 1/day*
    10. More Healing*
    11. Dominate (specified non-undead, non animal non-construct)*
    12. Remove curse*

    Versus

    Priest skills
    1. Languages(modern)** (single asterisk for both powers)
    2. Languages(ancient)
    3. Light(30 foot radius) 1/day. – Ten turns duration.*
    4. Cure wounds(touch, minor) – 1/day*
    5. Sense thoughts – 3/day*
    6. Telepathic message with reply 3/day ambiguous range*
    7. Protection from evil/good – 3 turns 1/day*
    8. More Healing*
    9. Dominate person(specified non-undead, non animal non-construct)*
    10. Remove curse*
    11. Raise dead/revivify
    …I think Pundit might be in trouble.

    10/12 vs 10/11 convergence(Telepathy was not literally identical because the range was different but i am counting it). Forgive my shitty math but is that an 86.9 percent match? And thats the ones that are identical. Holy shit!

    Magic user skills:

    1. Control Self(own body).*
    2. Illusion power*
    3. Clairaudience
    4. Clairvoyance*
    5. Telekinesis *
    6. Astrology*
    7. Speak with dead 3/day(unspecified method) and talk with people far away.*
    8. Control animals/plants**(once for a control power)
    9. Control undead/animate dead*
    10. Control specific Underworld Creatures(might be Asura’s, might not be)
    11. Touch of Death attack*

    Magic user skills:
    1. Control self(own body)*
    2. Demonology
    3. Illusion power*
    4. Clairvoyance*
    5. Astrology*
    6. Telekinesis*
    7. Speak with dead(astral travel) and talk with living beings/outsiders**
    8. Control non-intelligent creatures(including monsters)
    9. Control people(multiple)**
    10. Control undead/animate dead*
    11. Protection Spell
    12. Touch of Death*

    …I’d start sweating right about now if i was Pundit.
    8/11 vs 8/12 approx. Thats still 69% with a lot of slack.

    Acid test time. Enlightenment powers vs bonus spells. And these we CAN do by Tier/Level. Note that the means of aquiring them are identical.

    Tier 1

    1. Calm water/wind/people*
    2. Create food/water*
    3. Summon monsters*
    4. Curse/Bless*
    5. Dispel illusion*
    6. Dispel Evil/good Spell*
    7. Hold portal/open portal*
    8. Cause fear*
    9. Heal wounds(minor)*
    10. Levitate*
    11. Light*
    12. Locate gold/gems
    13. Locate objects*
    14. Cause madness*
    15. Cause disease*
    16. Protection from evil/good*
    17. Send wave of shadows that blind*
    18. Detect other planar/invisible shit/True vision*

    Tier 1(fucked up the order)
    1. Light*
    2. Calm water/wind/people*
    3. Protection from evil/good*
    4. Dispel Magic spell*
    5. Bless/Curse*
    6. Charm monster*
    7. Send field of warped perceptions that blind*
    8. Find object*
    9. Cause insanity(Gaze)*
    10. Create food and water*
    11. Heal wounds(minor
    12. Levitate*
    13. Open Portal*
    14. Dispel illusion*
    15. Cause disease*
    16. Hold Portal*
    17. Summon Monster*
    18. Cause Fear*
    19. True vision*
    20. Blind Gaze

    …If you are reading this Pundit. This is going to get out. We are coming. (17/18 + 19/20). 94.7 % identical. This is some deep next level matrix shit.

    Tier 2
    1. Charm monster(identical to charm monster tier 1, different game)*
    2. Blast of cold*
    3. Summon monsters(medium)*
    4. Curse Disease*
    5. Dispel Magic(Greater) – also works on items*
    6. X-ray vision*
    7. Bigby’s crushing hand(equivalent)
    8. Moar healing*
    9. Invisibility(Aura)*
    10. Neutralize poison*
    11. paralysis(chance of permanence second save)*
    12. petrify(level drain chance)*
    13. Sleep*
    14. Slow/haste*
    15. transmute mud/water/stone
    16. poison cloud*
    17. wither limb
    18. Curse people to act like animals*

    Tier 2
    1. Dispel magic(Greater) – Also works on items*
    2. Invisibility(Aura)*
    3. Walk on Water/Liquid surface
    4. Poison cloud*
    5. Cure Disease*
    6. Moar healing*
    7. Become intangible/Walk through solid matter
    8. Curse people so their minds become like animals*
    9. Paralysis gaze(can become permanent)*
    10. X-ray vision*
    11. Petrify*
    12.Summon monsters(illusionary, function like monsters)*
    13. Polymorph Self/Others*
    14. Gaze that deals damage over time
    15. Sleep*
    16. Summon monsters(medium)*
    17.Slow*
    18. Haste*
    19. Wave of Cold*
    20. Neutralize poison*

    …And it will be damaging to your already tarnished reputation. I promise you this.
    15/18+17/20. 86.8 percent convergence. What are the standards for plagiarism again?

    Tier 3
    1. Create illusion monsters(different tier)*
    2. Polymorph self/others(different tier)*
    3. Control terrain/earth
    4. Greater summoning(single monster)*
    5. Call Demon*
    6. Doomkill area save or die spell, unpredictable, uses fire
    7.Enchant weapons/armour*
    8. Blue lightning bolt that deals damage
    9. Glittering protection that requires 18 or higher to pass(fuck you im counting it)*
    10. Protection from normal weapons(companions also)*
    11. Geas(or permanent dominate)
    12. Quest*
    13. Ressurection*
    14. Reincarnation*
    15. Develop new spell(research)
    16. Spread Plague(cause mass infectious disease)*
    17. Protection from missiles and spells(works on user+companions)*
    18. Steal soul*
    19. Teleport*
    20. Walls(fire/ice/stone/swords/wind etc.)
    21. Weather control*
    22. Wish*

    Tier 3
    1.Steal soul*
    2. Spread plague(cause mass infectious disease)*
    3. Control weather*
    4. Quest*
    5. Reincarnate*
    6. Enchant weapons/armour
    7. Flight
    8. Ressurection*
    9. Earth swallows up someone to hell
    10. Volley of magical darts
    11. Protection from missiles and some spells works on companions*
    12. Shield that forces saving throw to attack pc*
    13. Summon Greater Being(not singular)* [yeah real creative you made it 1d3)
    14. Summon Demon/Deva*
    15. Heal/Restore withered limb
    16. Protection from normal weapons*
    17. Magic lightning bolt that desintegrates all who fail saving throw(going to say that one is sufficiently different for the purposes of this exercise)
    18. Teleport*
    19. Wish*
    20. Fire area attack

    The rabbit hole goes deep. 15/22+14/20 = 69.0 % identical, with a few cases that are open for debate is the best the magic system can do as far as originality. Jon? This will get out.

    • December 4, 2014 6:25 pm

      This is your thunder party, Indra! Keep making it rain!

      You terrible homophobe you.

    • JaleBoy76 permalink
      December 4, 2014 6:27 pm

      You’ve gone from product review to court room exhibits of copyright violations.

    • December 4, 2014 6:29 pm

      I added this to your review. Haha this is outstanding!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 4, 2014 7:54 pm

      Welllll… stick Shiva’s trident a fork in Pundejo, he’s done. I guess the RPG stands for Rotten Plagiarist Goon.

      Now for some real fun, has anyone compared his Lords of Olympus game to Amber Diceless? Is it another rip-off?

      Prince, you pretty much nuked him from orbit.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 7, 2014 4:04 am

        LoP is absolutely a rip-off of Amber, but that was the point of the game, and Pundit doesn’t deny it, so i have no problem with it. It’s an amber retro-clone, and he has admitted it is. Might even be fun, might even have some improvements, fuck if i know.

      • December 8, 2014 8:50 pm

        Aside from a gloss of Olympian myth that doesn’t really fit the concept at all (dimension travelling demigods? WTF?), it adds nothing to the original. Amber has always been a challenging game to GM since the core book is contradictory about its own diceless arbitration style. Lords of Gossamer and Shadow does a better job.

    • Scott permalink
      December 5, 2014 10:13 pm

      Those tables got hijacked early on.

  21. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    December 4, 2014 6:25 pm

    I have a dream!

  22. December 4, 2014 7:12 pm

    tl;dr

  23. PrinceofNothing permalink
    December 5, 2014 12:23 am

    No, you guys. This needs to get out. On the shite. Today! Take off your sock puppet inhibitors. Call on every homeboy. Be respectful. Admit your intentions. Check the evidence yourself before you tell anyone. Ask people to check for themselves, if Pundit has nothing to fear, surely he will not object. Empire of the Petal Throne(OD&D edition), Skills & Bonus spell section.

    Tarnowski lied about how he worked on the magic system, he lied about only having read Empire of the Petal throne a long time ago and not remembering what was in it, he lied about his game, he lies to the very people that support him and he uses accusations of Transphobia and similar slander tactics to protect himself. He is a blight upon the OSR. The time for civility has passed long passed. Spread the word.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 5, 2014 12:33 am

      Edit: Nvm

      http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=31137&page=2

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 5, 2014 12:36 am

      Also, i ask anyone who reads this not to take me at face value but to check for yourself and see if it’s bullshit. Tarnowski’s reaction to it is priceless.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        December 5, 2014 6:21 am

        You’re just jealous of his influence on RPGs!

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 5, 2014 2:59 am

      While Pundit is in full Historical Revision mode, allow me to adress the fact that i may have described spells simpler then they appeared in an effort to create a similarity that does not exist(implying that i would need to do this, which is sadly not the case). To reiterate my standpoint(which Pundit has been strawmanning to no end, dragging everything from Forge swine, grognards.txt, SA goons, the KGB, the Big Purple to SJW and my alleged transphobia(but that’s neither here nor there) into the discussion in a futile effort to obscure the actual point), he lazily based his entire magic system on EoPT, gave zero credit for it, tried to obscure the similarities, and now suddenly admits it but its not a big deal its mechanically similar guys. It wouldnt have been a point, had you actually done some work of your own and mentioned, oh yeah i based it off of EoPT, what a fun game, just not accessible.

      -OSR is fine. New take on old system. Less corporate bullshit. More of a hobby culture with diversity. Fun.
      -Direct Retroclone is fine if acknowledged as such. Way of bringing new campaign settings, takes on old stuff, adventures onto a market. Not sure about paying for it, but most retroclones offer their core rules for free. Fun.
      – DCC and Loftp use an old framework to make something different from what there was before. Fun.
      -Cynical huckster that takes someone’s body of work and passes it off as his own without acknowleging the contributions and indeed, shitting on the very body of work that produced those ideas while making it appear as though he made it up himself and did all the research. Pundit essentially copied/pallette swapped an entire section of a game without nary a hint of acknowledgement(it was only after the question was asked that he admitted the similarities). Not Fun. See?

      Instead of cherry-picking i’ll just present the priest skills that i have marked specifically as being similar. I am not claiming similarity for anything i have not specifically marked. If anyone wants to see the rest, go right ahead and ask. I don’t need to lie or make up wild accusations like Pundit. Notice also that he already lied about having read Empire of the Petal Throne a long time ago and he cannot remember it clearly. First it was, based off the same source material, now its, based off the mechanics but so what? Way to shift those goal posts there champ.

      Don’t take my word for it. Check it yourself. Make up your own mind. (i didnt even have to change the order the fucking things came in).

      Priest skills(EoPT, page 20)
      -Know two modern languages : a list of available languages was given in Sec . 420. A
      knowledge of Tsolyani is assumed, unless the player is starting in some other country.
      -Know two ancient languages : these, too, were listed in Sec . 420. These languages are
      very important for the reading of scrolls, books, maps, etc
      -Production of light : this spell produces a soft radiance with a radius of 3 inches [N .B .one inch = 10 feet in the Underworld].
      -Detect evil/good : this warns the user of hostile alignments inherent in objects, adjoining
      rooms, etc. It does not work when used upon persons or creatures, and it does not indicate the exact type of danger. It lasts two turns, and it is usable only once a day.
      -Cure light wounds : this restores 1-6 points of lost hit dice points to any being . A 6-sided
      die is rolled to determine the number of points restored to the character. It is usable only once a day.
      -ESP : the user can detect the thoughts of living beings (though not undead or soulless
      automatons, etc.) in adjoining rooms . It operates up to a distance of 2 inches (20
      feet), lasts two turns, and can be used three times a day .
      Telepathy: this makes it possible for a character to commune telepathically with another character, and for that character to reply, though no other can hear this conversation . It works over a distance of 24 inches, lasts one turn, and can be used three times a day .
      -Protection from evil/good : this creates a one inch circle of protection around the user .
      It cannot be penetrated by undead ; it adds + 1 to all saving throws, and it takes away -2 points from the damage dice done by an attacker . It lasts three turns and can be used once a day.
      -Cure serious wounds : this spell restores 2 6- sided dice of lost hit points . It can be
      used only once a day.
      -Control person : 1-6 persons (including intelligent nonhumans, but not animals,
      Underworld creatures, automatons, etc .) can be brought under the user’s control for 3 turns. A saving throw against spells is permitted (see below) . There is no possibilityof this spell operating against a person of greater than seventh level . It can be used only once a day, and it has a maximum range of fifty feet .
      -Remove curse : this spell takes away curses from objects, changes the alignment of
      swords and other magical weapons, restores magically changed beings and objects to their proper forms, and returns beings driven mad by magic or by certain Underworld creatures to sanity . Usable upon one person or object only, and only once a day.

      Priest Skills(arrows of indra p. 37).
      -LANGUAGES: Each time this skill is taken, the Priest gains a new language other than Prakrit (the common language of Jagat) or Sanskrit (the Holy language). Sample
      languages include the various barbarian languages (such as the language of the golden lands), the Bhil language, the musical language of the Gandharvas, the Yaksha
      language, the demonic language of the Asuras, the Naga tongue etc. This skill can be taken up to & times. [To be honest, this one is kind of forgivable and you are free to disregard it].
      -THE ARCANA OF LIGHT: A ten minute ritual, it will make the Priest’s body shine with a Holy light that illuminates everything for 30 feet around him. This light lasts for 2 hours or until the Priest wills it to extinguish. The ritual can be performed once per day. This skill can be taken only once.
      -THE ARCANA OF KARMA VISION: This twenty minute ritual will give the Priest a true vision, to sense whether those he sees are of Holy, Unholy, or neutral alignment.
      It will also inform him if any objects in his line of sight are Holy or Unholy. It lasts for 20 minutes. This ritual can be performed once per day. The second time this arcana is taken, the power of the arcana increases so that the Priest can sense the presence of Holy or Unholy beings or objects within 60 feet even if they are hidden from sight. This skill can be taken twice.
      -THE ARCANA OF HEALING: This ritual, which takes 10 minutes to perform, allows the Priest to heal 1d6+1 hit points of damage on one person he touches; including himself. It can be used once per day. This skill can be taken up to three times, each subsequent time granting an additional use per day.
      -THE ARCANA OF THE OPENED MIND: This ritual, which takes 20 minutes to perform, allows the Priest to sense the thoughts of all the beings within 20 feet of his person.
      He can sense the most pressing thoughts of anyone in this range, and their general intentions toward the Priest; in the case of animals he can sense their basic instincts. He cannot detect the thoughts of any creature who does not have a consciousness as such, such as animated statues; nor can he sense the thoughts of the living dead. This magic lasts for 20 minutes. This ritual can be used once per day. This skill can be taken up to three times, each additional time it is taken it allows the ritual to be cast once more per day.
      -THE ARCANA OF THE VOICE IN THE SILENCE: This ritual, which takes 30 minutes to perform, allows the Priest to speak a message of pure thought with another individual he must name. The chosen individual will be able to hear the Priest’s words in his mind; and if he is of Holy or Unholy alignment will be able to send a response. Neither the Priest nor the person he is contacting need to actually talk for the communication to take place. The
      communication can be sent to anyone up to 18 miles away, if the individual selected is further away than that, the ritual fails. The conversation can last up to 10 minutes. This skill can be taken up to three times, each additional time allows the ritual to be performed once
      more per day.
      -THE ARCANA OF THE AURA OF HOLINESS: This ritual, which takes 10 minutes to perform, grants the Priest a Holy aura around his person. The living dead, ghosts, and
      some minor demonic creatures will not be able to come within ‘$ feet of his person. Additionally, any other being of Unholy alignment will suffer a – 2 penalty to hit him
      in combat. Also, the Priest gains a +’ to all saving throws for the duration of the effect. The magic lasts for 30 minutes. This skill can only be taken once. Note: Raskshasa
      and other Unholy Priests who gain this skill will emanate an aura of Unholiness, which has the exact same effect except that beings of Holy alignment (rather than Unholy alignment) will suffer the – 2 penalty to hit him.
      -THE GREATER ARCANA OF HEALING: This ritual, which takes 20 minutes to perform, allows the Priest to heal 2d6+2 hit points of damage on one person he touches; including
      himself. It can be used only once per day; but this skill can be taken twice granting an additional use per day.
      -THE ARCANA OF DOMINION: This ritual, which takes 10 minutes to perform, grants the Priest incredible power of influence over others. For 30 minutes after he
      performs the ritual, everyone who is in his immediate presence (within 50 feet), and is of 7th level or less must make a saving throw vs. magic to resist being so enchanted by the Priest’s spiritual power that they will want to obey his commands. This power does not
      affect animals, non-living animated objects, or the living dead. The Priest cannot order them to do any harm to themselves (though he can order them to surrender themselves or otherwise cease aggression or resistance), nor can he order them to perform any act that would be Unholy (unless the Priest performing the arcana is a Rakshasa or other kind of Unholy Priest). Anyone under the Priest’s enchantment will return to their normal senses
      if they leave his presence, or after the magic’s duration comes to an end. The ritual can be performed only once per day. This skill can only be taken once
      -THE ARCANA OF PURIFICATION: This ritual takes one hour to perform. It will liberate a person or object of any magical curse that has not been placed upon them by a God or greater Asura; removing the negative effects of such curses. It will remove the Unholy quality of an object, and will make individuals of Unholy alignment Neutral, or of Neutral alignment Holy. It will restore anyone who has been magically transformed into another
      shape back to their original form. It will cure anyone who has been driven mad of their insanity. This ritual can only be performed once a day, and will work on only one person or object each time it is performed. This skill can only be taken once.

  24. tyranny of faggots permalink
    December 5, 2014 4:37 am

    Wait, so the pundit is a transsexual?

    • Sykirobme permalink
      December 5, 2014 8:09 am

      All this time…”The Wench” was…himself!

    • The Misfits Mephisto permalink
      December 7, 2014 2:01 pm

      False flag? All it took was one “Pundickless : tranny” crack (from a poster never seen before here) for him to cry “transphobe!” and wash himself clean in his own SJW eyes.

  25. December 5, 2014 5:30 am

    What is the “EoPT(ODD)” edition of Prof. Barker’s “Empire of the Petal Throne”? While I have copies of all the various EPT playtest manuscripts in my archives, including the one with Phil’s notes for the TSR edition, I was not aware that there was a ODD version. Please enlighten me, if you could.

    Thanks!

    – chirine

    • i don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
      December 5, 2014 5:43 am

      It just means the original EPT ruleset. A lot of people see it as the first D&D derived game; D&D meaning the box set from early 70s. As an aside, EPT was my first RPG and I could be called a fan of “culturewank” but I’ve never and am not aware of any EPT community that claims other people are dumb for not being detail nerds.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 5, 2014 5:46 am

      I may have totally fucked up the labelling on that one, but the version i meant and the version i read was the 1987 Trigee Enterprises reprint of the original Empire of the Petal Throne published by TSR from 1975.

      I called it the OD&D edition because that is the version of DnD it bears the most resemblence to in my opinion, despite its 1-100 stats and the inclusion of a skill system. If i got your hopes up for a hitheretoo unknown version of Tekumél, i apologize.

      • December 5, 2014 6:51 am

        Ah! I was wondering about that; we usually refer to the 1987 reprint as the ‘Different Worlds’ edition, as it was published by Ehara Tadashi. I was not aware that Trigee was involved.

        You might want to look at Dave Arneson’s “Adventures in Fantasy” and the earlier “Beyond This Point Be Dragons”, by the way.

        -chirine

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 5, 2014 6:57 am

        How are AiF and BtPBD related to Tarnowski’s just-now remembered and acknowledged appropriations of Prof. Barker’s work?

        And you might want to take a closer look at how you are being used by the Pundit, by the way.

        -Timotheus

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 5, 2014 7:16 am

        (Filing a pundit quote for later use in case some changes occur(i.e he edits it, he is not above other low-brow tactics after all), ignore)

        “So I could have (and considered) experimenting with a bunch of stuff that more elaborately applied Indian “magical ideas”. In the first place, I discarded working with stuff related to things like Chakras, etc., because these are all in fact much LATER ideas, that wouldn’t technically fit in the time period.

        I considered being more elaborate and detailed about things like Mantras or Mudras, but discarded these for reasons of complexity; if you’re talking about an OSR game, there’s no more reason to have to include detailed material about mantras or mudras than there would be to include detailed material about Solomonic Magick in a medieval fantasy setting. D&D has never been about “authentic thaumaturgy” on the system side of things, and always about just assuming that this was what the PC was doing in the setting without having to elaborately explain what that looked like in the system rules.

        So anyways, one of the big things I did want to have was a system that could fit in with the skill system I had in mind but that would also reflect the idea of magical powers being related attainments in meditation, etc. that would not necessarily be just a question of technical skill. So for that reason, and also because it would otherwise have been tricky to fit them into the (small) skill tables, I split magic into a division between a very limited number of the most common sorts of magical effects being in the skill tables, and everything else fitting into “enlightenment powers”.

        Now, in standard D&D you usually have a very predictable progression of access to spells; this I think is an accurate (though not detailed) reflection of a lot of the western perspective on occultism (and specifically western medieval perspectives). But for the Indian setting, I wanted to create a system where it was a lot less predictable. A Siddhi PC could gain anywhere between 0-4 ‘spells’ each level. This would reflect the somewhat haphazard experiences of eastern mysticism, where magical powers happen as a result in sudden breakthroughs in consciousness expansion.

        I included a lot of other Indian concepts, besides mantra and mudra (magic/holy words vibrated to create powerful effects, or hand gestures that do the same), in the Enlightenment powers I touch on concepts like Prana (the energy related to the breath, which is like the Indian equivalent of the more-famous asian concept of “chi”), the nadis (energy channels in the body, which can be manipulated or short-circuited to various effects), and of course stuff like reincarnation. ”
        -Pundit, Acknowledging and indeed, always having acknowledged, Barkers extensive contribution to his Arrows of Indra magic system.

        I’ve read Adventures in Fantasy, mate, and i dont remember much about it(other then the endurance that allows you to fight only a fixed number of rounds, real training times as you grow up, social status etc.).
        But generally when you recommend shit like that you tell a kind soul why you’d recommend it and what for. I don’t mind you coming here under false pretences to dig for an agenda or some secrets(because there is no way you as an obvious Tekumél fan could be confused about the edition i am using), it’s just that you are wasting your time. I’m not lying, and its pretty easy for you to verify that. Apologies if you are simply an especially ignorant EoPT fan.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 5, 2014 7:19 am

        Shit, i come across as an asshole. Srry mate. Genuinely like EoPT and all that. Best.

      • OABD permalink
        December 5, 2014 7:28 am

        Oscar Anderson Likes this.

  26. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    December 5, 2014 6:54 am

    Wow, the NKVDPundejo is in full Stalin mode, in misdirection and lies. He has become Tracy Hurley.

    Even when Jack puts it to him point blank, he pretends like he doesn’t even see the goal posts and declares a new horizon.

    John Tarnoski is a liar and a coward. Banning PoN for pointing out the truth behind his cut-n-paste job – true colors are revealed.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 5, 2014 7:53 am

      That was a hilarious attempt to weasel out of this unpleasantness.

      “Did you plagiarize EPT’s magic system?”
      “That Forge swine knows nothing about the OSR!”

      Yeah, he’s shifting horizons, not just moving goalposts.

      • December 5, 2014 8:02 am

        What’s the over/under on Tarnowski taunting us with, “All the Swine have done is manage to boost my sales — 4 new orders already!” I’ll set it at 7 hours and take the under.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 5, 2014 8:54 am

        That all depends on whether or not the morbidly curious know about the Chans.

        Pundejo dropped a hint about a new gig writing for a website. I wonder if evidence of plagiarism could torpedo this gig. There have been other instances of plagiarist shitweasels being forgiven, or their peccadillos being ignored.

        Still, this stink will cling to him like a pipe smoke miasma.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        December 5, 2014 12:46 pm

        3:43 PM: “Please do it. I’d almost want to offer you a free copy but the whole point would be that this review LITERALLY and DIRECTLY ends up making me money.

        Most of the things my opponents do to try to “take me down” only ends up making me more money, but it would be especially funny in this case.”

        You missed by about 40 minutes, Chief Yid.

      • December 5, 2014 2:43 pm

        It responds to stimuli as anticipated.

      • Scott permalink
        December 5, 2014 10:18 pm

        “Most of the things my opponents do to try to ‘take me down’ only ends up making me more money, but it would be especially funny in this case.”

        You fools just bought him a value meal

  27. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    December 5, 2014 7:03 am

    And it is hilarious that he keeps conflating us with something Awful. He is is stupid AND parnoid – all his enemies are converging! That is why he does not have to address the real points made!

  28. PrinceofNothing permalink
    December 5, 2014 8:09 am

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=31137&page=2

    And there was a stillness before the storm, a deep silence that heralds the coming of the loudest noise. A quietude that mirrors the heat-death at time’s end. And all the inhabitants of the net looked on in silence, for it was a time of moment. A fulcrum upon which fate would rest. A singularity beyond which there can be no certainty.

    Mrguignol, wreathed in the sun and the moon, draws back his iron-skinned arm and fires the VAISHNAVASTRA, its passage leaving reality a split and tattered ruin. Pundit, his eyes wide, his porcine limbs sapped of strength, his cloak of obfuscation pierced, has time for but one more cry.

    And the heavens quaked and the earth split and the sky burns like fire. For this is the time of reckoning. A time of split pipes and smoldering tabbaco.

    For your time has come.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 5, 2014 8:29 am

      Mr Guignol is Jack, who is cool and respected enough to go between the blogs and forums openly and tell it all like it is. yes, I have a crush on him.

      But even his attempts to get John Tarnowski (oh, shit, I DOXXED him) to reply honestly and unambiguously to the very concise criticism from the fair Prince will fail.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 5, 2014 8:57 am

        He’s also a college professor, so plagiarism is a Big Fucking Deal in his line of work.

      • Jack permalink
        December 5, 2014 12:48 pm

        I have done nothing worthy, but I am prepared to accept your adoration, Master Blaster.

        Re: plagiarism, as far as I can tell game mechanics aren’t subject to the same legal protections as IPs, but…it’s still super lame if this is a case of just trading out names and adding an Indian gloss to the proceedings. That shit could be a house rule pdf, not a book you expect people to pay money for.

        But, that seems to be the MO here. Forward to Adventure was Tunnels & Trolls mixed with B/X. That Olympus game is Amber Diceless with the Amberites taken out and the Olympian pantheon subbed in. (And I’m pretty sure that Gossamer & Shadow game stole it’s thunder anyway.)

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 5, 2014 5:56 pm

        Disclaimer: hammered, went out with friends, awesome. Tarnowski, sad sack. Jack, big fucking brass knuckles and iron balls for having the gutzpah for calling Tarnowski out on his shit(and he totally fizzled like a spell interrupted AD&D wizard(1st edtion i mean dungeon world cuz i hate dem OSR).

        HAHAHAHA he totally closed off the thread based on personal attacks, what a fucking tool.

        Btw guys? If anyone needs a total write up of the plagiarism shit tarnowski pulled on Indra, i am giving you it. Post it on the troll post thread. Fuck it. Instructions:

        -OSR is totally derivative, but lets see how we handle the plagiarism. Aw yeah.
        -More EoPT/Arrows of Indra Crossover slashfic.
        -Jack, hang out with us, Pundit is starting to reflexively target you because you actually called him on his shit. I illegially pirated EoPT so that makes Pundit exempt from having to justify copy pasting the magic section. Tales of the Grotesque and Dungeonesque: Will review for great justice. Will order alongside Cursed Empire and Diomin if rocks. Understand if you are a diplomat and ambassador and cannot be associated with us. Must not inform Pundit that we are secretly Ron Edwards’s progeny come back to haunt/destroy him. If you decide to leave him, i suggest you post the EoPT/AoI magic section as your last post. I admire academics, and strive to become one, but it is time you become a digital cyber legend. Apotheosis. The fire that consumes and spurs you to heaven.
        -Pundit bestest and most gullable moron idiot to troll in existence. Great justice and infinite lulz to anyone who just copy-pastes my entire(wait for it, will give you a signal when finished) write up of AoI vs EoPT magic section(and only the magic section nigga’s). Let’s not be unfair and claim Pundit stole shit from EoPT that he actually stole from somewhere else. After all, the OSR is about stealing and being derivative. If no one is game i will sockpuppet it in(Kent, i need your help in infiltrating. How do i level up?)

      • Scott permalink
        December 5, 2014 10:20 pm

        Jack’s a faggot ❤

      • Scott permalink
        December 5, 2014 10:23 pm

        butttttt this response

        “The fact that you’re a commenter on YDIS and not the neutral party you pretended to be has been revealed. So really all that’s left is you assholes trying to instigate a witch-hunt over an OSR game having mechanics from an old-school game; which of course serves your greater purpose: to claim that the entire OSR is bad. Because if my having been inspired by Barker’s spell system makes the entirety of AoI “not worth it” (never mind how ridiculous that claim is given the years of research that went into that game) then certainly that means that LotFP having a magic system inspired by Gygax’s means the same thing and “people would be better off just hacking old rules to make their own game”. What you’re trying to do is to set up an argument for why the OSR isn’t great, but it ignores the amount of work it takes to create these sort of games. I know that we’re not using Connect-Four to do Narrative Scene Resolution in our game about overstressed insurance company auditors, and yet people seem to like and appreciate our games more than your indie bullshit. That’s because we don’t reinvent the wheel but we DO put a lot of work into innovative ways to present that wheel.”

        this, this blithering inksquirt diffuses and pales to the pure white of lulcow milk, and blessed be the hand that squeezed the teat

  29. Kent permalink
    December 5, 2014 8:10 am

    So the RPG Punnet copied a few tables from EPT and didn’t announce in the preamble, “I copied these dumbass tables.” Why care?

    The entire hobby seems to be based on the principle that on changing ‘orc’ to ‘yrch’ you have created an entirely new world. Even the more bohemian just delve into a favoured author and steal ideas profusely.

    Gamers are not creative people, as writers are.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 5, 2014 8:30 am

      Ssshhhhh. Adults are speaking. Go back to deleting and undeleting your blog.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 5, 2014 9:03 am

      And you are a gamer. Remember when you announced that you were writing a short story titled “Empty Planet” and ended up producing a murky hexmap, which you eventually deleted?

      Run off now and produce your own cut-and-paste… Kentcosa. You can filter your own violent paraphiliac fantasies through a Hodgsonian lens to create a Swords, Sodomy, and Sorcery milieu. Pink Socks Girl beware! The stars are in alignment!

      • Kent permalink
        December 5, 2014 10:06 am

        I did write it, dummy.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 5, 2014 10:39 am

        This should be precious- is Jmal publishing it in his new suckzine?

      • Scott permalink
        December 5, 2014 10:26 pm

        I’m more interested in the pathology that leads one to prefer the bulbous Affryq buttock over the smooth and flat perfection of the white/jale fundament

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 5, 2014 9:14 am

      Ah fuck it, i missed you Kent. Welcome back and glad to see you are coherent again!

  30. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    December 5, 2014 10:01 am

    Time to hit the blood plasma donation circuit and raise some funds!

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=68573

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 5, 2014 10:05 am

      Bloo-bot says, “No money” 😦

  31. Kent permalink
    December 5, 2014 10:05 am

    IRON MAIDEN on vinyl on a decent system.

    A pleasure for no ordinary man.


    The time will come for him
    to lay claim his crown,
    And then the foe yes
    they’ll be cut down,
    You’ll see he’ll be the
    best that there’s been,
    Messiah supreme
    true leader of men,
    And when the time
    for judgement’s at hand,
    Don’t fret he’s strong
    and he’ll make a stand,
    Against evil the fire
    that spreads through the land,
    He has the power
    to make it all end.

    Iron Maiden get me.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 5, 2014 10:08 am

      That’s the only maiden you’ve ever derived pleasure from.

      No ordinary man, indeed!

  32. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 5, 2014 10:45 am

    Goddamn, the holidays may suck in a lot of places, but they are merry and joyful here! Love this shit.

    The last couple of days have brought up those great, warm tingling feelings I got when Jamal had his balls to the fire. Good times. I wish I could contribute more on some of these weighty subjects, but I pretty much am too fascinated by the retarded man-children of Dragonsfoot and my hero Bloodymage to spend much time on anything else. I just don’t look at other stuff enough to comment in any meaningful way. So I’m not even going to try and punch above my weight class. Let me just say “keep up the great work!”

    Just so I can say I contributed something meaningful this week, let me bring back a beloved feature: Fudge Pack Fridays.

    Who do you think is mostly likely to take it up the bum without too much squealing and whining: Taylor Swift or Elizabeth Olsen? YOU make the call. For extra points point out which one you’d like to turd burgle with, and why.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 5, 2014 11:27 am

      If Taylor Swift had ever taken it up the bum, she would have written a song about it, and I don’t recall her releasing a “Hershey Highway Revisited” album.

      As far as my proclivities go, I think Elizabeth Olsen is prettier. I’ve always found Taylor Swift to look too angular to be genuinely pretty. For the record, I consider Alanna Ubach to be the hottest actress of the last 20 years- too bad she mainly gets supporting roles.

    • Scott permalink
      December 5, 2014 10:28 pm

      Y’all know the approximate area where I live, pick a mountaintop and we’ll saiyan out over Ms. Swift’s anal honor

  33. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 5, 2014 12:10 pm

    Oh yeah, the Spic Chick from Beakman’s World. I totally remember imagining that Kramer-looking Beakman and the fat rat dude double teaming her. I loved that dirty, Hells Kitchen voice of hers from the show. Totally a chick who would halk a loogy on the sidewalk while you were in line at a Mexican Food counter and you totally would not mind. Maybe even get a dick-shiver from it. A sign you were going to get laid on the first date for sure.

    Too bad she’s like a hundred years old now.

    • December 5, 2014 12:32 pm

      She was like 18 when she did Beakman’s World, and she’s held up well. She’s got a snarky sense of humor, which I find most appealing.

      • OABD permalink
        December 5, 2014 1:49 pm

        Oscar Anderson Does Not Like this.

  34. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    December 5, 2014 12:49 pm

    Well, ydis called it on the under 7 hours before tarnowski claims the review is making him money.

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?p=802506#post802506

    He also accused Jack of being ydis a few posts before this!

    • Jack permalink
      December 5, 2014 1:35 pm

      I’m also now the messenger-boy who is responsible for everything that gets said here. YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME LOOK BAD!

      Dude is cray-cray.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      December 5, 2014 1:35 pm

      And an SA goon!

      I just love how Tarnowski is all “you guys just don’t like the OSR” when he was railing against the OSR just a few short years back.

      And calling this place out for being profane…too funny.

      • Jack permalink
        December 5, 2014 1:53 pm

        My blog is linked in my signature on the RPGSite. It’s a blog…full of OSR-compatible content. (Not very good content, but I digress.) He’s barking up the wrong tree if he wants to paint me as a “storygamer swine.”

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 5, 2014 2:02 pm

        God damn, he has gone batshit crazy in cherry picking a single comment and blowing it up as something we all endorse. And now Jack is being painted as a racist because I expressed my admiration for his work.

        Sorry, Jack.

        But it is cool to watch that piece of shit who laughs at mass-murdered children melting down in paranoid conspiracy-driven rage.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 5, 2014 2:04 pm

        It is also strange that not a single person there is coming to your defense, given how demonstrably wrong the NKVDPundit is in his dishonest attacks on you. All those posters on the ‘Shite must be neck-deep in the groupthink he is attributing to us.

      • December 5, 2014 2:14 pm

        I shouldn’t let pundit’s bullshit get to me, but I had to write a post about this:

        http://thoulsparadise.blogspot.com/2014/12/was-empire-of-petal-throne-one-of-main.html

      • Jack permalink
        December 5, 2014 2:15 pm

        Eh, no worries. Online forums are all bullshit anyway, so it’s hard to take him seriously.

        It was kinda fun to watch him scramble for something to use against me. Racism? Check. Storygamer? Check. Anti-OSR? Check. (Well, that last one has at least some basis.)

        I don’t really feel like I need a defense from other people because none of this stuff matters, but the thing about the RPGSite regulars is that many of them have no where else to do, as far as I can tell. Catching the banhammer would mean something to them that it doesn’t to me.

        It was cute how Pundit did the “don’t post in these threads again or you’ll be banned!” move and then asked me a bunch of questions in the other thread, hoping I’d reply so he could can me. Lolz, as the kids say.

      • December 5, 2014 2:34 pm

        BTW Jack, I just received Ulverland from Lulu.

      • Jack permalink
        December 5, 2014 2:38 pm

        Gargamel, if it blows…I apologize in advance.

      • Scott permalink
        December 5, 2014 10:48 pm

        Wait, blogs and G+ are just echo chambers, whereas forums are laissez-faire meritocracies, right?

        Before all this shit, I seriously didn’t know anything about that guy beyond a few mentions, and I still haven’t read his dippy game.

        If it’s seriously that close to the EoPT tables, that’s obviously not innocent parallel evolution. But the initial “pffft, Barker” attitude? Jesus.

        Anyway, as little is at stake here, it’s nice to see that this site is for once fulfilling its “gadfly” function. No thanks to anyone but Prince of Nothing.

      • December 6, 2014 6:17 am

        “As little is at stake here”?!?!?!?!?

        THIS MATTERS *cries like Sophie’s Choice*

  35. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 5, 2014 12:51 pm

    Was just reminiscing about the show with Wikipedia, and bummer looks like the Rat Guy died in 2009. He was pretty funny. I remembered him as a lab experiment or something, but according to Wiki his character was an actor with a bad agent who was forced to wear the suit and refused to do anything but Beakman got him to comply with food. Forgot how much I liked the show (the first couple of seasons, probably during a phase when I was hung over Sat mornings and watched a lot of cartoons while suffering). Way better than Bill Nye. Wonder if I can Netflix that shit?

  36. December 5, 2014 12:56 pm

    Thank you for your reply. As for your opinions on RPGPundit, I can’t comment. As for your opinions about me, well, that I can comment on.

    Yes, I am confused about what version of EPT you are talking about – I am not aware of any “Trigee edition”, and I’d like to find out more. I’ve been the informal archivist for Prof. Barker for some thirty-five years, and I have samples of all known works by the Professor in my archives going back to his sketches in his college notebooks and his novel from 1952. If there was a Trigee version, I’d like to know about it.

    I don’t think you’re lying about your review, by the way; once one gets past the vitriol-throwing, it’s actually a pretty good one.

    As for “suggesting some shit”, Phil was right up front that when he wrote EPT back in 1974 that he used a lot of concepts from Dave Arneson that ended up on the cutting room floor, but were later published in “Adventures in Fantasy”. There’s also some similarities to “Beynd This Point Be Dragons”, an earlier manuscript that was found in Phil’s garage by one of his players along with the original manuscripts for EPT – not the ‘mimeo’ version which is up on DriveTrhuRPG, but the original typed manuscript. You might want to have a look at these games, as I think you’ll find that they are pretty good samples of the ‘game design theory’ that was very common here in the Twin Cities back in 1970-1980.

    I am a historian by training and avocation, and I try to access as much context and background as possible on my subject of interest. If you feel that I’m here under false pretenses, may I say that my interest in this matter is to see why Phil is all of a sudden a hot topic. Nothing more, nothing less.

    (If I may reply to the other person in this reply thread at this point, if the Pundit is using me, then he wouldn’t be the first person to ask me for an honest opinion and then use it for his own purposes. He was genuinely shocked that after all the crap and mud he’s thrown at EPT and Tekumel over the years on his forum (I have a very long memory), I’d actually buy a copy of his game. I read it, I liked it, and I thought that it was quite workable as an RPG for use with Tekumel.)

    I personally don’t think you came across as an asshole; I think you came across as the stereotypical modern RPG gamer.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 5, 2014 1:30 pm

      Is that not your standard reply to people who do not think the same as you? “You are a modern gamer.” Don’t pretend this is anything other than an insult. That is your common refrain on the RPGShite, and in your very public commiserations with the old geezer about no one “gets it” anymore.

      Here is the thing – the old ways are understood more than you grasp or are able to admit. You seem like a decent guy, except for the “No one understands how it used to be!” schtick. Rulings Not Rules, Just Have Fun are well understood on this board and on most forums where you leave your accusations.

      Simply because they are not embraced to the point of rejecting everything else that has occured in RPG design since 1977 does not mean the concepts are misunderstood. If you are truly a scholar and not just “You kids get off my lawn” idealogue, you will grasp this concept.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        December 5, 2014 1:37 pm

        I’m still confused as to how an unpublished manuscript has any bearing on this review and PoN’s point.

      • December 5, 2014 3:32 pm

        Thank you for your comment. In my experience, the kind of gaming that I did back in the day is not what’s being promoted on most of the forums that I’ve looked in on over the past few years. I’ve simply gotten tired of being told over and over and over again that I am “doing it wrong”, and have been “doing it wrong” for quite a few years. I am, quite frankly, gotten tired of having this shoved down my throat, and my comment is not intended as an insult; it’s an observation based on my personal experience with gamers of a certain age.

        If you’d prefer an actual insult, I can certainly provide one.

      • December 5, 2014 4:00 pm

        Save the insults, homie, you’ve already proven yourself. There’s no bigger slap in the puss than the one you’ve laid on the memory of poor Prof. Barker. There’s literally no one in the world — NO ONE — who in recent years has slung more shit at EotPT than RPGPundit, and there you are cozied right up in his lap and purring like a little kitten. What a fucking fink you are.

        Yes, you are doing it wrong, you wrinkled old sack of shit. You are doing life wrong.

      • December 5, 2014 3:40 pm

        “I am, quite frankly, gotten tired of having this shoved down my throat.”

        This is actually the love that brings us all together. Hnalla bless us, every one! Where the hell is Gene, by the way? I know he was “there,” but where he at now?

    • justme permalink
      December 5, 2014 1:44 pm

      Tristat not Tri Gee ?

    • December 5, 2014 2:31 pm

      The Different Worlds edition of EPT has a foreword by Gygax and that foreword has a Trigee copyright. The Trigee copyright notice appears twice in the book. Perhaps this confused Prince of Nothing. He’s foreign, you know, but we like him anyway.

      • December 5, 2014 3:33 pm

        Thank you! I was wondering where Trigee had gotten into this!

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 5, 2014 6:46 pm

      @chirinebakal.

      Listen buddy, you came here with the express purpose of giving Pundit some extra leverage that is meaningless and insubstantial to the review i made (which convinced people to buy it, god bless you fuckers if you can make something of that trainwreck). I totally pirated EoPT the original edition, when it was legal to pirate shit in Holland(e.g a year ago, check the fucking legal code in Holland on pirating). Yes idiot, it was legal, Holland didn’t persecute downloading because it could in no way be done effectively, which is what a sane country does with any of its laws, but thank you perdustin for attempting to protect me. I have no compunction admitting this.

      That doesn’t excuse your bullshit at all, and it does not excuse Pundit from essentially copying Barkers magic rules without at least a formal acknowledgement. If anything you should be on my side(though i am of course an SA Goon/Huge Transphobe/Ron Edwards Clone/Forge Swine/member of the Ten who are taken/homophobe/Nazi/something else pundit said/Instigator of Grognards.txt/Doxie/Stalker/Necromancer lvl 10/Developer of anti-personnel femtotech/terrorist).

      The fact of the fucking matter is, you have access to Arrows of Indra and presumably Tekumél. You played with Barker. That fucking rocks. I envy the shit out of you. Why the fuck do you think i pirated his shit? How many fucking rpg-stores do you think sell a copy of EoPt in Holland?

      And what you are fucking doing is letting a no-good hack-designer take credit for the shit Barker made. If you had any god-damned decency, any integrity as a god-damned historian, you would analyze the stuff yourself and at least fucking consider the evidence and provide some argumentation before giving your (admittedly worthless and unsubstantiated) blessing to Tarnowski’s (Barker’s) Magic System. And just his fucking magic system. That is all i claimed he ripped off from Barker.
      I’m sure he ripped off the other stuff from another source, and he doesn’t understand that other Retro-games actually do something new with an old system, the fucking purpose of the OSR, which is why he claims i hate DnD. And you, madam, are a goddamn disgrace to the fucking legacy of Barker.

    • Scott permalink
      December 5, 2014 11:44 pm

      “why Phil is all of a sudden a hot topic”

      chirine, I’m pretty sure I’ve talked to you (pleasantly) a few times in various online venues over the last decade, and it’d be disingenuous to act like this is some sudden groundswell of interest in Tekumel. If it were, this wouldn’t have come up in a *chan and the comments section of a blog. (And it shouldn’t have had to.)

      I haven’t read RPGPundit’s (?) game and don’t plan to – I don’t steal stuff, I’m sure as fuck not giving him money, and I don’t like forums – but if the tables correspond the way they’ve been presented, that cannot be chalked up to parallel evolution. Bottom line – if his tables read the way they’ve been typed out here, then he copied and re-skinned them.

      Leaving aside the principle, a lot of us consider this a matter of specific interest. I don’t have your pedigree with Barker and I don’t care about deep exegesis of “canon” but I love the setting and certainly didn’t discover it yesterday when some asshole copied the EPT tables. I’m frankly surprised at apologia for this random 10th tier weirdo who was so dismissive of Barker’s work before all this came out.

      I’ve now read what RPGPundit wrote about it before and after. Copying someone’s work without attribution is bad, but that whole “well, I’m doing what Prof. Barker tried to do, but RIGHT” stance is bush league horseshit, especially when you have to backtrack after having been found out.

      (And I doubt most people here are “modern gamers” except in comparison to like Tractics players.)

  37. Sykirobme permalink
    December 5, 2014 2:52 pm

    “Why put your stake with a gang of hypocritical sophomoric assholes (sexist, racist, and homophobic assholes at that, cynically using ‘social justice’ when it suits them), who have nothing but contempt for the OSR…”

    Oh, John, the irony. The irony.

  38. Kent permalink
    December 5, 2014 3:08 pm

    You are not working the right angle here. What you want to do is stoke the RPG Punnet’s vanity; observe the way he slyly insinuates himself into the company of the estimable high-brethren of the osr ~~ blessed be their gaming balls ~~.

    The funniest contretemps involving the RPG Punnet remains Raggi’s unambiguous and irrevocable public rejection of Punnet’s gaming material – for all time.

    In addition, Jack, as a middle-brow winky wanky shilly shallying slavishly liberal academic is hardly a charcterful representative of YDIS. Only YDIS herself could do that, as she does daily as crussssssdaddy on odd74.

    • Jack permalink
      December 5, 2014 3:15 pm

      “as a middle-brow winky wanky shilly shallying slavishly liberal academic is hardly a charcterful representative of YDIS.”

      See? That’s what I thought!

      When’s the podcast returning, Kent? I was reminded of it when I found Kentcast #2 still on my hard drive before you deleted it from your blog.

      • Kent permalink
        December 5, 2014 4:48 pm

        Soon. My ambition is to produce ten minutes a year, which is more than enough.

      • Scott permalink
        December 5, 2014 11:52 pm

        “as a middle-brow winky wanky shilly shallying slavishly liberal academic is hardly a charcterful representative of YDIS.”

        I’m pretty sure that is exactly representative. Other than Mjollnir, I’m the biggest peckerwood on here.

  39. December 5, 2014 3:31 pm

    Calling to order this meeting of the International Society of Enemies of RPGPundit aka John Tarnowski. Order please! PLEASE GENTLEMEN — we must have order if we are to pursue our profitable agenda of attacking RPGPundit and creating a world safe for story gaming.

    We have a lot to discuss today: doxxing, race baiting, transfuscational tactics, etc. Let’s get started with roll call. When I call your name, please respond with “Here!”

    Is the delegate from Narnia here?

    • Reepicheep permalink
      December 5, 2014 3:33 pm

      “Here!” *squeak!*

      • Scott permalink
        December 5, 2014 11:54 pm

        “I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise” hit me as hard as “dad, come on, you gotta get up” and “SUPERMAN …” in the annals of “wtf why am I choked up over this” 😦

    • December 5, 2014 3:34 pm

      Is the delegate from Alternate Earth Terminator Future here?

    • December 5, 2014 3:43 pm

      Schizonomicon from Earth Michel-Foucault reporting for duty, Cap’n Honey. Our slave academies and cockring-festooned panopticon are ready to fold into your “space.”

      • Scott permalink
        December 6, 2014 12:05 am

        “Schizonomicon from Earth Michel-Foucault”

        Isn’t there anyone here with a useful degree since the doctor left??

      • December 6, 2014 7:30 am

        Fuck if I even know – the cutting edge of it is that John Tarnowski, I mean “Kasimir Urbanski” is convinced that Our Theoretical Daddy was worse than Stalin and Hitler put together, so that’s a useful fear to exploit.

        https://plus.google.com/u/0/s/foucault%20kasimir%20urbanski

    • Sykirobme permalink
      December 5, 2014 3:53 pm

      Where are we going to send Jack next?

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 5, 2014 8:59 pm

        How about dispatching Agent J into the field to establish diplomatic relations with Feminist Frequency? She would be a powerfulally against Tarnowski.

      • Jack permalink
        December 6, 2014 2:54 pm

        I’d bring her more flannel shirts as an offering. (Seriously, I’m unnerved by the number of flannel shirts she seems to own. Nearly. Every. Video.)

    • bloodymage permalink
      December 5, 2014 4:01 pm

      Guys, my health sucks, my place is pretty torn up, I’m confused and in constant pain but I’m not yet dead. The delegate from Beldany the Fey Kingdom, Keeper of the Stink in Golanda on the Road to Janceton, is present and accounted for! My internet just got restored.

    • Mjollnir permalink
      December 5, 2014 4:05 pm

      The delegate from the Land of Nazis Doing Gay and Shooting Semen Loads in the shape of Swastikas on each other’s faces is at your service!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      December 5, 2014 4:16 pm

      I
      Have
      Returned.

      I need no introduction.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        December 8, 2014 5:52 pm

        Oh thank God. This place has been going to hell.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 5, 2014 4:22 pm

      This is AWESOME!
      It’s like the Avengers, the Justice League, and all 13 Doctors showing up at the same time in the 50th anniversary special of Doctor Who, all rolled into one!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 5, 2014 4:23 pm

        Also the cast of Glee and the original cast of Angels in America.

    • December 5, 2014 4:22 pm

      Is the delegate from Aione Megadungeon here?

      • Kent permalink
        December 5, 2014 4:45 pm

        I have no living enemy but will attend to hear the fate of this essence of laughter.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 5, 2014 5:25 pm

        And then there’s Maude!

  40. Sykirobme permalink
    December 5, 2014 3:56 pm

    “As for stalking, given that YDIS has apparently been on a bit of a crusade against me, and have set up an account here only to engage in an attack…”

    YDIS is a singular entity! I wonder if he knows that hacker named 4Chan.

    • Jack permalink
      December 5, 2014 4:10 pm

      I hear Anonymous is a pretty cool guy.

      • Scott permalink
        December 6, 2014 12:09 am

        I think ydis is a pretty cool guy. Eh reviews osr and doesnt afraid of anything.

    • 7chan permalink
      December 5, 2014 4:28 pm

      You know? Not one of you ever thanked me for the free comp copies of Arrows of Indra over in /tg/.
      Not a one. 😦

  41. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 5, 2014 4:03 pm

    If we are getting into Terminator shit, I’d at least like to know if anybody knows any spoilers from the new film. I’m especially wondering if in this particular timeline Biff uses the sports almanac to get rich.

  42. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 5, 2014 6:10 pm

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=68592

    OK, Blooey is officially fucking with us just to get ink here…

    • bloodymage permalink
      December 5, 2014 6:46 pm

      Help w/ a word
      When you can’t think of a word that’s on the tip of your tongue. Brain fart.

  43. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 5, 2014 6:52 pm

    Help w/ a word.
    Wot’s that thing when you can’t remember a thing. Oh yeah, “Head Shart.”

    • Scott permalink
      December 6, 2014 12:10 am

      “Is there a word for forgetting the name of someone when you want to introduce them to someone else at the same time you realize you’ve forgotten the name of the person you’re introducing them to as well?”

      “No.”

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 6, 2014 6:26 am

        There’s probably a twelve syllable word in German meaning precisely that.

  44. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    December 5, 2014 7:43 pm

    God damnit. I leave to play D&D and you call the official secret witch hunt to order – without me. This is total bullsit.

    So I guess kent’s membership is probational?

    Yo, A Spec!

  45. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    December 5, 2014 9:40 pm

    As the Vice President of the North American region of Oscar Anderson Industries, I am pleased to report that Oscar Anderson, billionaire dinosaur, has pledged to throw his vast wealth behind the campaign against El Pundejo. Mr Anderson is of the opinion that E.P. represents the nadir of mammalian evolution. Furthermore, Mr Anderson, being a denizen of the Cretaceous Era, resents Mr Taintowski’s assertion that he is not “old school”.

    Kent, Mr Anderson has summoned you to his private pleasure island in the Maldives. Do not keep him waiting.

  46. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    December 5, 2014 10:01 pm

    Here’s a hoot, Pundejo closed the “Magic in Arrows of BECMIndra” thread without even attempting to address the allegations made against him. What a weasel.

    Even better,
    He got no sack
    To ban ol’ Jack.

  47. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    December 5, 2014 10:27 pm

    The hits keep on coming:

    Q: What the hell are you supposed to do with this Tekumel thing?

    A: Rip off its magic and skills system.

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=2388

    • Scott permalink
      December 6, 2014 12:19 am

      I’m screencapping a lot of the stupid things I see on that forum because someone who randomly bans non-yes-men will also delete threads.

      Reading the responses reminds me why I don’t hang around on forums, much less “personality-specific” ones … I read Alexis’s blog regularly and have come to like him, but the comments 😦

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 6, 2014 6:28 am

        Hey, Scottt. I’d almost forgotten about Kayaking Pirate Love Boy. Thanks for ruining breakfast.

        Hope you’re OK. Late night drunk posting can be good or bad. Or nothing at all.

      • Scott permalink
        December 6, 2014 12:35 pm

        I don’t remember if I’ve been on since surgery and car wreck (both relatively minor), but things are going well. Health has been sketchy but I guess that’s just how it is now. Last night’s burst of activity was more insomnia-driven than anything.

        No money 😦

      • December 6, 2014 1:11 pm

        Were any of your tattoos injured?

      • Scott permalink
        December 6, 2014 11:54 pm

        Nah, just fucked up the car

      • Bigny's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 6, 2014 9:17 pm

        Damn, Scott, don’t go all Blooey on us. You don’t want to end up sharing a room in the nursing home with ol’ Bloo… though “Blooey and Tattooey” would be one hell of a sitcom.

        Eat pee crap ink rinse repeat

      • Scott permalink
        December 7, 2014 7:44 am

        That poor bloodymage guy 😦 You know how Mississippi and Kansas exist to occasionally keep West Virginia from being ranked as the “worst”/”most miserable” in literally everything? I feel like he serves a similar function for any older gamer inclined to self-pity.

        Actually, he’s Mississippi. Dragonsfoot is an entire forum made of Kansas.

      • Aos permalink
        December 7, 2014 11:09 am

        You shouldn’t leave New Mexico out, the USA’s best kept third world secret is continually pushing the boundaries of drunk driving.
        Some asshole fucked my car up too, while I was on the way back from seeing a doctor about my broken fucking leg no less.

      • December 7, 2014 11:16 am

        I’ve long called for dedicated drunk driving lanes, which should be equipped like bumper bowling for cars.

      • Scott permalink
        December 8, 2014 8:45 am

        It was totally my fault but the other guy wasn’t hurt, he was driving a rented car, and it turns out he’s the drummer for a friend’s band. So the only real harm was having to puke up a deductible right before Christmas.

  48. PrinceofNothing permalink
    December 6, 2014 3:30 am

    http://www.therpgsite.com/newreply.php?do=postreply&t=31169

    I HAS A BACKUP EMAIL

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 6, 2014 3:42 am

      Banned almost instantly, but the post is still there.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 6, 2014 6:21 am

        When he awakens from his rune-induced stupor, he will come out with a “you hate the OSR and you are racist and a transphobe” obfuscation screed.

        Prince you have single-handedly turned the rpgshite into a compelling place. If I was in Amsterdam, I’d buy you a hit of hashish.

      • Jack permalink
        December 6, 2014 8:08 am

        I hope he doesn’t use his runes against your computer, Prince.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        December 6, 2014 10:09 am

        Bren sure told you! He didn’t spend all that time in English 101 and not learn a little something about courage!

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 7, 2014 3:46 am

        Hahahaha he removed it, fag!

        It’s gonna come back Pundit. Don’t you worry.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 7, 2014 4:21 am

        Anyway, thanks for all the love and support guys. If any of you fuckers is ever in Amsterdam, lemme know and we’ll have a beer(gave up smoking weed a very long time ago), and wear clogs and look at windmills and other things Netherlands.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 7, 2014 6:35 am

        Likewise, if you’re ever in New York, I’ll buy you a delicious spleen sandwich:

        http://m.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2010/05/spleen-sandwiches-an-italian-tradition/39761/

        Then we’ll booze it up and get arrested by Tenkar.

      • December 7, 2014 8:00 am

        I thought Tenkar only chased a desk these days. Bigby, I didn’t know you were in the city. We should all piss on the fucking Strat “and then” get blotto at the Ginger Man or somewhere some time.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 7, 2014 8:15 am

        Haven’t been to the Ginger Man in ages! I do most of my drinking at the Bell House in Gowanus these days. I always make a pilgrimage to Rolf’s to see the decorations this time of year- gluhwein and Christmas on acid, what’s not to like?

        I work on the weekends, so I do most of my boozing during the week. Maybe we can contact Gene and go on a bender.

      • December 7, 2014 8:39 am

        Oh God, Rolf’s Holiday Spectacular! Driver and the Prince should both see that place. It’s like DwarfLand had a drunken night of shame with its sister Thool and nine months later there was a restaurant. Plus it’s within pissing distance of the Strat as a bonus.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 7, 2014 9:31 am

        Molly’s Shebeen is another old haunt of mine. It’s my go-to place for one last date before an inevitable breakup.

        Damn, we really need to have a YDIS night out. This week is tight, I have some coursework to do for my job. Maybe we can track Gene down and throw a Very Weigel Christmas party.

      • December 7, 2014 1:16 pm

        I name all my characters after Murray Hill dives. Next few weeks are going to be a little crazy but if nothing else the locals should start thinking about flash mobbing the next Zak gallery thing, if of course he ever has another one now that Raggi is squeezing the cash bags again.

        (Current ranking 9,577 BTW: since I started tracking this with pseudo-Kentian tenacity, basically one working artist has gotten more famous than him every single day, or more to the point he has gotten less famous at that rate.)

  49. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    December 6, 2014 4:54 am

    Well, it looks like the RPGPundit John Tarnowski has been officially discredited and called out for hypocrisy, plagiarism and general lack of creativity. Anyone still defending him and looking favorably upon his weak Tékumel knock off clearly suffers from a severe case of Gamer Stockholm Syndrome. Yes, only the most loathsome excuses for human beings are still circling the wagons in Jonestown around John Tarnowski, the Jim Jones of the OSR. Case in point: GOPagan, the atheist Odin worshiper frozen horse cock magic Mitt Romney lover who hates Obamacare with a passion usually reserved by this ilk for ascending Armor Class and skill systems.

    http://greyhawkgrognard.blogspot.com/2013/03/review-arrows-of-indra.html

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 6, 2014 6:25 am

      “… it’s a terrific introduction to a lively mythological setting…”

      Looks like witchiepoo copy-pasted some bland, corporate advertising blurbs for a review.

      The blOwSR is a mighty wind.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 6, 2014 2:44 pm

      “A delightful romp!” “I laughed til I cried!”

  50. Kent permalink
    December 6, 2014 10:26 am

    Scott, what do you like about Toad ND’s take on dND? He knows nothing about fantasy literature and is hardly creative himself unless it is creative to filter information from the Encyclopedia Britannica through gills where his face should be.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 6, 2014 2:46 pm

      I am working some Uruguayan rune magic up something fierce Kent until you get cancer in the ass and die a slow, agonizing death.

    • Scott permalink
      December 7, 2014 12:14 am

      Kent, it’s fascinating for me to watch someone approach a creative hobby with goals, methods, and endorphin triggers so different from my own, and it freaks me out that there are people who’ve actually stuck with the same project for decades. I am literally incapable of that, so I have no single project or cluster of projects that’s benefited from that kind of attention and accretion. The parts of his book I really like are those that address actual project implementation and management. (At some point shortly I’m hoping to put a review up on Amazon.)

      I’m not worried at all about our differences of taste unless he’s going to show up at my house and start slapping books off my shelf and smashing my Kindle.

      Also I don’t think he’s a bad guy. People take his “taking things too seriously” too seriously. It’s just internets.

  51. Dildatory Interlude permalink
    December 6, 2014 5:08 pm

    Haha, The RPGPlagiarist!

  52. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    December 6, 2014 5:19 pm

    Gee, I wonder why someone who published a knock off suckdungeon of Gary’s Castle Greyhawk notes and a retroturd based on everything Gary ever said he would do in a new edition of AD&D would be denied a vendor’s table at GaryCon?

    http://greyhawkgrognard.blogspot.com/2014/12/alas-garycon.html

    • Scott permalink
      December 6, 2014 6:25 pm

      lol @ “Do those fools know who they are keeping out?”

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 6, 2014 6:48 pm

        😀

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 6, 2014 6:48 pm

      BTW, if someone at GaryCon can swing by the Motel 6 150 miles away and pick up Blooey to take him to the con, then pick me up a plastic spork in the food court and bring it into the main game hall, that would be awesome.

    • December 7, 2014 7:47 am

      They can’t tolerate an outsider looting Gary’s corpse- that’s reserved for “friends and family”.

  53. December 6, 2014 7:27 pm

    Regular RPGsite poster here. I feel kind of bad for Jack (and Erik) because I’ve pretty much had my fill of calling Tarnowski on his complete lack of anything resembling intellectual honesty. It’s pointless. I mean, they’re absolutely correct, but the tired old metaphor about playing chess with a pigeon applies.

    I keep going to theRPGsite because (1) it’s the only forum spitting out shit worth reading, even if rarely; (2) Google+ makes my eyes bleed after 5 minutes.

    But hey, at least the shitstorm got me to read YDIS.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 6, 2014 8:40 pm

      Yeah, g+ sucks non-zocchian d4s.

      Just like Zak in The Dungeon Master’s Pleasure 7.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 6, 2014 9:23 pm

      Looks like we’re gonna have to sing the Gooble Gobble song:

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9C4uTEEOJlM

      Gabba Gabba Hey!

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 7, 2014 3:39 am

      @thebutcherbr
      Dude, i know calling Pundit on his complete lack of intellectual honesty and total lack of creativity as a game designer is pointless, but thats part of the fun! The dude might not be a pathological liar, but its pretty close, and watching him huff and puff is amazing.

      He could have done so much damage control by just saying, you are right, i did base my magic system on Barker, all those posts i made about how i designed it were shit because i am morally and intellectually bankrupt, i should have given him more credit, haha you got me, fag. End of controversy. Or just this one, hahahaha you got me. Nice review dick.

      But instead the iodine-deficient moral leper lares up, bellowing, screaming not just at me, but at largely non-existant enemies, starts accusing everyone of racism and being in league with YDIS etc. Way to avoid suspicion idiot.

      Calling Tarnowski on his shit is amazing and should be done habitually. That Tekumél Arrows of Indra power comparison is going to be good for years and years of trolling(for better men, i have had my fun) as long as Pundit keeps denying the obvious.

      For Bren? Was that bren? It would be super convenient if you could just copy paste this Thesis and personal message it to him and also ask him if i can borrow 10 dollars, tnx bro!

      Thesis: Rpgpundit a.k.a John Tarnowski is (among other things) a liar and a fraud. Though it is hard to verify, i am pretty sure at night he drives around on an ostrich, eating the flesh of children and molesting family pets. He can be detected by a thick oily miasma of pipe-smoke that he exudes from the very air around him, as reality rebels against his very presence. He has a thick unwashed hide that is nevertheless ridiculously easy to bruise.

      For years he has claimed he invented a brand new magic system for his shitty game AoI. All those posts were a lie, he just took the magic system from EoPT and resleeved it. His claims of similarities being caused by the same source material(e.g mythic india) are ridiculous, i showed the similarities and am willing to do so to anyone who asks. You can also check out Perdustin’s Blog, where you will find the general gist of my point of view.

      Anyone can look at Empire of the Petal Throne(OD&D) and Arrows of Indra, look at the two magic systems, and see that Pundit did maybe 5% of the effort, most of it involving name changes. This is not an assault upon the OSR, this is an assault on plagiarism, and Pundit is absolutely a plagiarist.

      -Fin

  54. Zombieman permalink
    December 7, 2014 12:48 am

    So I see lots of mentions about Raggi refusing to publish Dark Albion. Does anybody have a link? I can’t find where that happened.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 7, 2014 6:27 am

      OK here is a little bit of the after-discussion on g+, you don’t have to scroll down too far before the RPGPLagarist (urbanski/Tarnowski) whines about Raggs not publishing Dark Albion, and a couple of post later Raggs says he turned it down for the same reason he turned down Arrows of Teku, er, Indra:

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 7, 2014 6:29 am

        Not sure I did that right, g+ sucks shit, but that is the relevant Raggs post so track it and the comments down.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 7, 2014 6:45 am

        Here’s a link:

        https://plus.google.com/app/basic/stream/z13jvj1ozublgz3nm23rdjvxtqvwszs4h04

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 7, 2014 7:07 am

        “…places that will be opened because those who defeat the terrible evils therein will also gain fame, glory and the favour of the Unconquered Sun.”

        Hmmmm. Not to stir up any shit (heaven forbid on this site), but this has a creepy resemblence to the Black Sun in the nazi survival mythology. And South America is strong in nazi survivalism…

      • Scott permalink
        December 7, 2014 7:57 am

        God, that reminds me why I don’t mess with G+ any more, it’s like someone mashed up the worst parts of rpg.net, a forum, and Tumblr. 😦

        The Kasimir guy is a trip, though … he seems pretty proud of himself for coming up with the idea of making traditional D&D creatures like elves scary and alien and menacing – you heard him, ELVES! – for which I hope he wins the 1993 ENnie.

      • December 7, 2014 8:02 am

        Young Kasimir has a beautiful career ahead of him in 1993 inventing Earthdawn, yes.

      • Scott permalink
        December 7, 2014 8:12 am

        *”worst parts of rpg.net, a [blog], and Tumblr”

        fixed that for some reason

      • Aos permalink
        December 7, 2014 9:51 am

        I think I had almost purged the memory of G+ from my mind. There is like 10 minutes of fun packed into every 12 hours you spend there.
        As someone who has done a fair bit of grading and teaching, I gotta say, plagiarists are a fucking weird bunch of sorry motherfuckers with crazy fucking reality denying powers. And I do mean sorry, as in pathetic, like a fucking whipped dog. Also, ime, once a plagiarist, always a plagiarist, because they don’t perceive a problem with what their doing. The problem is people bitching about it and making a big deal.

      • Aos permalink
        December 7, 2014 9:53 am

        What they’re doing. Not their. Jesus wept.

      • December 7, 2014 1:22 pm

        This is a great place to express my fucking admiration for one of the greatest eerie moments in that reviewTROLL HURTFUL TROLL thread where somebody goes “uh yeah, plenty of YDIS regulars are showing up right here.”

        The call was always coming from inside the house, Tarnowski. The khabs is in the fucking khu.

      • Aos permalink
        December 7, 2014 1:55 pm

        Heh. That was me. I have a different user name there.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 7, 2014 7:16 am

      I took the Unconquered Sun bit to be a thinly veiled Christianity, what the TVTropes site calls “Crystal Dragon Jesus”. Don’t go to TVTropes, unless you want to spend several hours clicking links… that site has a tendency to suck you in with little hope of escape.

      • December 7, 2014 1:51 pm

        I’m pretty sure the Unconquered Sun thing is just Mithraism or sone other flavor of sun-worship as a stand-in for Christianity. Trying to tie it into Nazism is just the sort of insane accusation Pundit himself would make up, actually.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 7, 2014 2:03 pm

        Yup. Pundit’s no nazi, which is about the most positive thing one can say about him.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 7, 2014 2:05 pm

        I agree that associating “the unconquered sun” with nazism is pundit-style. I am not calling a pundit a practicing nazi.

        BUT Mithraism is ALSO part of the Black Sun mythology. In fact Himmler embraced Mithraism as part of the SS ideology. I read The Black Sun by Arthur Goodrick Clark last year, and when you read something like that the mind can make logical leaps – mostly inaccurate.

        So I am NOT accusing pundit of being part of a nazi colony.

        Just sayin’.

        🙂

      • December 7, 2014 2:56 pm

        Huh. Didn’t know that, thanks for clarifying.

        Is The Black Sun any good? I’ve been eyeing Ken Hite’s The Nazi Occult (big fan of Hite here).

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 7, 2014 3:34 pm

        It is pretty good, but like anything built around a symbol, it is applied a little too broadly. We give witchiepoo a hard time here, but the book makes express ties with Asahru (spelling) and nazi occultism which just ring like a big stretch. That chapter is guest-written, but throughout there is a guilt by association vibe that holds it back a bit. Another example is new age philosophy – there was a german nazi apoligist living in Canada that set up a publishing house that initially did new age stuff (Zundel, iirc), before publishing his hitler/nazi survival books – and that ties the two together. Clark makes little distinction between new age and nazism from that point out.

        So there are some serious flaws, but it is a fascinating read and I do reccomend it, with salt.

  55. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    December 7, 2014 6:29 am

    There’s a “Bill the Bitcher” joke in here somewhere… somebody take up this baton and run with it.

    • Scott permalink
      December 7, 2014 7:58 am

      The finish line was in the baton all along

  56. December 7, 2014 6:40 am

    Tarnowski is like the fat kid who owns the ball. You’d never pick him for your team, but he owns the fucking ball, so he gets to decide who plays with him. He’s uninterested in theRPGsite as a community or medium; all he wants is a soapbox, which is why he’ll tolerate anything that doesn’t get him in trouble (e.g. illegal file sharing) or affronts him personally (“disrupting the site” — in his eyes, he _is_ the site).

    When he deigns to post on a regular gaming thread, he makes a fool of himself, either by demonstrating a total lack if creativity, enthusiasm, humor or basic reading skills, or turning it into yet another battlefield in the endless War Against The Swine.

    Most of the posters there are good people, though some are gullible and/or bitter enough to fall for his screed against The Swine (because imaginary enemies are _so much more fun_ than realizing that you’re an old fart playing old games), and even those who don’t buy it (including a couple of mods) keep telling themselves that “the Pundit” is a character and not a real person.

    Guess what, kiddies: I met Tarnowski IRL.

    And while I’ll spare you the details, I can assure you that there’s no curtain. Tarnowski (he hated getting called by his real name, even in person) and his online persona are one and the same.

    Montevideo is a nice place, though.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 7, 2014 6:54 am

      I thought he ran the Shite because he’d been banned from the other forums for trollery- that was basically Kent with a modicum of ambition. I owner how many of the posters originally conflated the site with RPGSite.net.

      Pundejo likes to attribute the scorn he receives here to envy, but that’s a pretty bit of psychological projection, because he seems to whine about the more popular sites- can’t spell envy without EN. In reality, he’s run the Shite for years and hasn’t broken the 10,000 member mark. I imagine he’d cry if he did an Alexa comparison of his site and this place.

      Pobrecito Pundejo! When you met him, did he reek of stale tobacco and flop sweat?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 7, 2014 6:56 am

        Goddamn, one of these days I’ll turn off autocorrect- “I owner”? What the fuckity fuck?

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 7, 2014 7:13 am

        I owner Skye is a total babe.

    • Jack permalink
      December 7, 2014 7:08 am

      “I can assure you that there’s no curtain. Tarnowski (he hated getting called by his real name, even in person) and his online persona are one and the same.”

      That is unimaginably depressing.

      Taken in that light, everything he’s done is a cry for help.

      • Aos permalink
        December 7, 2014 10:27 am

        It is something I realized long ago. If there were a differeence Tarnowski would have way thicker skin in regards to insults directed at the pundit.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 7, 2014 10:45 am

        -Lack of empathy(Scourge of Norway)? Check!
        -Habitual/Pathological Dishonesty? Check!
        -Lack of self-reflection/Sense of humor? Check!
        -Lack of creativity? Check!
        -Inflated sense of self importance? Check!
        -Complete lack of remorse/Shame/self-respect/personal or professional integrity? Check!
        -Inability to recognize owns failings/admit defeat as such, even when directly confronted with evidence? Check!
        -Irrational and bizarre belief systems[RUNE MAGICK]? Check!

        …What are the traits for sociopathy again?

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 7, 2014 7:12 am

      I suspected that the difference between his IRL self and online persona was zero, given the enthusiasm with which he melted down before Prince’s and Jack’s posts.

      I am sure Motevideo is nice only because law and order are maintained there through his rune-magickal manipulations of the Uruguayan power company.

    • Scott permalink
      December 7, 2014 8:00 am

      I have to ask, if he doesn’t like to be called by his real name, what does he like to be called? There are too many good options here to pick just one

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 7, 2014 8:30 am

      To be fair, everyone should have realised the Pundit is an actual creature and not an act because anyone smart enough to pull off such a convincing facade of stupidity and bigotry would not have bungled up his defence of his EoPT chop-shop cut-n-paste in such a comically inept fashion.

      Also browsed through DCC, and figured now would be a good time to plug it.
      DCC is what an old-school game should actually look like. It takes inspiration(with full and magnificent acknowledgement btw) from Old school gaming, improves upon it, and adds elements to make something new and fun while staying true to its roots. Even when it borrows(with full acknowledgement of the source material and its origins), it is evocative and wonderful.

      Reports are almost done, the rune magick is gently clattering off my window and i played SWN yesterday and it was magnificent. Life…is good!

      • Scott permalink
        December 7, 2014 10:28 am

        I have the DCC pdf … I’ve been working a little here and there on a 3LB dungeon crawl I’ve neglected for a while, was thinking today of switching to BX but maybe I’ll look at DCC again. I remember thinking it had some cool stuff but it was a bear to work with digitally, and I got a massive brain-ache trying to reconcile “THIS IS INSPIRED BY THE SWORD AND SORCERY SOURCE LIT” with “k, play begins as 50 inbred yokels walk into a LotFP dungeon swinging socks full of turnips.”

      • December 7, 2014 11:13 am

        I’m fine with the socks-full-of-turnips funnelmobs, but the Middenmurk guy does it much better than DCC, in which it takes total luck and precise management from players and GM to avoid every game being a fail spiral.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 7, 2014 11:05 am

        Just be sure you have the official Magic Negro DCC dice from Goodman Games and rub them on a Magic Negro’s head for added luck!

        http://www.goodman-games.com/6041preview.html

      • Scott permalink
        December 7, 2014 12:45 pm

        I just re-read DCC. I’d forgotten how much the tone reminds me of that hectoring strain of old school orthodoxy whose acolytes crowdfund Dwimmermount and ask Mike Mornard if they’re “doing their own imagining” correctly. (I seriously crack up when the opening invocation demands recognition of Tim Kask’s significance. Tim Kask.)

        I mean, it’s a cool game, there’s a lot of stuff I like, but it buys into the “this is old school gaming, this is not” narrative that has always struck me as weird bullshit. I don’t believe “the old school” they talk about existed for longer than a couple years after the game hit the streets. (And maybe not even then. It’s obvious that Gary and crew engaged in a lot of the wish mulligans, dice fudging, PC glow, and preferential treatment that they now bitch about so much.)

        I’ve been playing since 1980 and I didn’t do everything the way these forum hobos say things were done, and reading Gary’s rants about APAs and non-standard games and the need for AD&D, it’s pretty obvious that no one outside of Lake Geneva really did things that way either.

        (And if 1980 isn’t “old school” enough then the opening invocation can shut the fuck up about Caldwell, Easley, and Holloway.)

        DCC honestly reminds me more of “Rolemaster + Realms of Chaos” than old D&D and classic fantasy lit. That’s not necessarily bad, it’s just not really my thing and it’s DEFINITELY not in line with its “Platonic ideal of old school gaming” affectations.

        So yeah, lots of cool stuff in there (I actually love the yokel funnel and am not familiar with Middenmurk) but it doesn’t strike me as any more “old school” in essence than the line of DCC modules were. 500 pages is a lot to emulate an era of gaming when you could fit 90% of the relevant rules info on a couple taped-together folders.

      • Scott permalink
        December 7, 2014 12:50 pm

        “Just be sure you have the official Magic Negro DCC dice from Goodman Games and rub them on a Magic Negro’s head for added luck!”

        Oh gosh. I … is that a thing?? I can feel the ground shake as rpg.net and K&KA partisans mince/lumber/wheel to their respective positions re: that shitshow.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 7, 2014 12:56 pm

        Transphobic swine! Clearly your denial of DCC’s old school-ness and oldschoolness in general is an effort to destroy the OSR and role-playing games in general.

      • December 7, 2014 1:49 pm

        DCC looks like a fun game, though admittedly I haven’t played it. Reads like WFRP minus the decades of canon baggage, filtered through a TSR/OSR lens. I don’t really think of claims to “old school legitimacy”, from DCC or anyone else, as anything other than branding spiel, though.

        I also wouldn’t use the funnel for the very reasons Scott outlined above. Though it might be fun, again, of a WFRPesque sort.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 7, 2014 2:15 pm

        I never looked at DCC. The self-proclaims that it was rooted in Appendix N fetishism, while sporting the character funnel a a primary mode of play is bs – a not a single pulp source features a boatload of grain merchant, farmers, brewers, and beggars whittling down to a single interesting and powerful protagonist.

        But maybe it does play well.

      • Scott permalink
        December 7, 2014 2:25 pm

        “WFRP minus the decades of canon baggage”

        I hate that baggage 😦

        WFRP 1e is probably my favorite combination of system and setting … I love the WFRP 1e Old World, but the Warhammer Fantasy Battle version has been risible for years. I really like the mechanical fixes in WFRP 2e but they had to import those decades of canon baggage to sync up with WFB 😦

        Even the Realms of Sorcery/2e college magic system implies a level of centralization and institutionalization of magic that just wasn’t there in the WFRP 1e rulebook or The Enemy Within. 2e makes life as a wizard more mechanically dangerous but socially safer – you’re part of the Imperial power structure. In 1e, it felt like you had to worry more about dour Witchfinder Generals if it was even *suspected* you were a wizard.

        So syncing 2e rules with 1e setting was enough of a pain in the ass that it was easier to just run 1e, warts and all, and only have one book to hand across the table or loan out (instead of one book with a 50 page insert of things I’d changed).

        1e still works amazingly well … a lot of the system’s problems go away if you stick with human PCs and random career generation. (I don’t know if I’ve ever actually had someone make it to Level 1 Wizard other than playing the Wanda pregen from TEW, so the problems with magic haven’t really come up that much for me.)

      • December 7, 2014 3:15 pm

        You know, to me it’s increasingly clear that the modern ideal of “old school” gaming — deprotagonized, sandboxy, naturalistic, embracing of randomness, etc. — was certainly not universal and possibly not even representative of a majority of gamers even Back Then.

        But regardless of historicity, it’s the playstyle I enjoy best, which is why I gravitate towards the OSR and theRPGsite — sometimes to my own consternation. But hey, YDIS has a great idea: let’s make a hobby of the consternation too!

      • December 7, 2014 3:21 pm

        The WFRP cruft was bad but still bearable early in 2e’s life cycle. Didn’t bother with 3e. I have a love/hate relationship with a few settings and WFRP is one of them; I dig the black humor, the exaggerated Dark Ages aesthetic of toothless peasants covered in shit like a Ren Faire collided with a cholera epidemic, and the open absurdity of the big honkin’ weapons and baroque armor. I end up using 1e setting stuff with 2e mechanics, but yeah, the Colleges as official good guy wizards kind of suck.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 7, 2014 3:42 pm

        “Oh gosh. I … is that a thing??”

        I’m surprised Big Purple Dildo missed this one and isn’t up in arms over ad copy that suggests rubbing a Negro’s head for luck, but yeah, there it is.

        If any YDIS lurkers reading this want to stir up the pot over this at RPGNet, please be my guest. http://www.goodman-games.com/6041preview.html

        Ettin?

      • Kent permalink
        December 7, 2014 5:47 pm

        I enjoyed reading 1e WFRP too. Im not sure what mechanical failings in 1e are being referred to.

        What supplements beyond The Enemy Within #1 #2 #3 are worth reading?

      • Scott permalink
        December 7, 2014 7:03 pm

        “What supplements beyond The Enemy Within #1 #2 #3 are worth reading?”

        Warhammer City/Middenheim is useful when running Power Behind the Throne.*

        The two-part Realms of Chaos is a fun read but I’ve never actually used it, I can’t see the average WFRP 1e surviving any encounter with Chaos that requires that much detail.

        Castle Drachenfels is a very bad adventure with some cool Grand Guignol set pieces.

        *There’s a gulf between the sort of characters likely to work well with PBT and the sort of characters one ends up with after jumping out a window to escape the horrors of Castle Wittgenstein, burning Fate Points and gibbering all the while. The one time I’ve run TEW from beginning to PBT, we didn’t finish it successfully and the PCs fucked off to various backwater shitholes like the Border Princes and France.

      • Kent permalink
        December 7, 2014 7:40 pm

        I forgot that I have a copy of Middenheim and have read it too. It’s fairly good. I think cities can only properly be portrayed partially, and indirectly through an adventure and specific detailed npcs. A city can only be suggested.

        I really like the WFRP villages and tactical wilderness maps (on the scale of 100-200yds) Ive come across, I printed a few out on A1 sheets.

        What’s wrong with 1e mechanics?

      • December 11, 2014 12:37 am

        I’m probably late to this particular party, but Marienburg: Sold Down The River is a decent enough city sourcebook (a bit too heavy on the encyclopaedia entries at first, but when you get into the map-key stuff it’s pretty neat, and the map itself is gorgeous) and the two Apocrypha collections have some neat shit (including the only no-gameables text I’ll tolerate, to whit the mercifully short essay on elven and dwarvish psychology that attempts to outline what makes them different from humans in recognisable terms).

    • December 8, 2014 8:56 pm

      Hey, Butcher. Quo vadis, man.

      You’re probably referring to me, but don’t mistake my motives: whether Pundit is or is not Tarnowski for realz, the devil cannot abide to be mocked. Calling his public persona a clown forces him to either disavow the persona or defend it. And either way he embarrasses himself further in public.

      • December 9, 2014 3:07 am

        Uh, hey, I guess. (OHT, that you?)

        Gib’s comment that there were already a bunch of YDIS regulars posting made me curious.

        Regarding my comment on the mods! I was mostly referring to you and Brendan, but it also applies to Benoist before he, too, got fed up with Pundit and left.

        I suppose one of the reasons I mostly quit trolling Pundit — besides not looking forward to getting banned — is that it gets repetitive after a while. Sure, the fireworks and the mental gymnastics and even the banhammer-waving are fun to watch the first dozen of times, but Pundowski is abysmally unimaginative even in his fits of nerdrage and paranoid delusions.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 9, 2014 3:29 am

        You didn’t like my review :(?

        [Searches for Sorceror pdf…]

      • December 9, 2014 12:30 pm

        Oh right, just followed the blog link. (duh)

        I wasn’t thinking of any poster in particular, but I do believe it’s a widespread rationalization. In any case, as I said above, trolling Pundowski is a game with diminishing returns. Even as a target he’s boring.

  57. December 7, 2014 9:38 am

    I love the part of the thread when Pundejo, who constantly rails about “SJW Swine”, goes full-on SJW. Oooh, someone used an ethnic slur that relates to my heritage, and this cuts me to the core! Has he ever exhibited even a modicum of mental consistency?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 7, 2014 10:13 am

      What these fucktards have never truly understood about the YDIS community is that we find the SJW Ettins equally as ridiculous and socially retarded as the MRA Desboroughs.

    • Scott permalink
      December 7, 2014 12:53 pm

      On the bright side, I’m sure his social conscience is driving him to some sort of fiery polemic about the afro dice.

  58. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    December 7, 2014 4:20 pm

    Shortly after their stint condemning YDIS for being transphobic, homophobic, sexist and racist, the RPGSite faithful come to the aid and defense of Jim “In Defense of Rape” Desborough and his GamerGate Card Game pulled from RPGNow!

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=31183

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 7, 2014 5:13 pm

      Will and Jack slap them down eloquently. Tarnowski gets it one post, then drops the ball because his ego misses his collection of socially retarded RPG forum rejects:

      http://www.therpgsite.com/showpost.php?p=802705&postcount=106

      • December 7, 2014 7:11 pm

        Forget the flannel shirts, Jack should bring her a goblet made out of “grim” Jim’s skull. I’m already fashioning a rug made from the pimply pelts of gamergaters for her. I’m selling their fatty livers to wealthy gourmands as fois gras. Dick Cheney’s scarfed down so much of the stuff, he’s going to need another heart soon.

        #thecrueltymakesitdelicious
        #winning

      • Jack permalink
        December 8, 2014 8:07 pm

        Christmas and my birthday are coming up. I wouldn’t mind getting an oil painting of Saint Anita drinking from a skull-cup fashioned from GrimJim’s mortal remains. HINT HINT

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 8, 2014 11:01 am

      Somebody ask Grim Jim what “rights” he thinks Straight White Men don’t have.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 8, 2014 11:24 am

      http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=31183&page=33

      Shit is heating up you guys. Lines are being drawn. Set up your chairs, grab your marshmellows and watch the flames.

      • December 8, 2014 11:46 am

        Good thing Grimbo decided to pump the brakes after the suicide scare, I’d hate to see what it looks like when he continues to engage and expose himself.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 8, 2014 12:44 pm

        Oh those nasty anti-gamergate feminazis driving poor Grim Jim to suicide! See how cruel they are? Gamergate is about love and understanding! (And ethics in journalism apparently.) Lights! Camera! Action! What a fucking showman you are Grim Jim!

        Pro Tip: You can’t be a martyr unless you actually die.

      • Scott permalink
        December 8, 2014 12:53 pm

        I never know who any of these people are until y’all link to them … that forum just does not stop giving, does it

      • Jack permalink
        December 8, 2014 6:00 pm

        How can anyone look at his fucking hat and take his opinion seriously?

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 8, 2014 12:04 pm

      @FEAR of the UNBLOWN

      In the interest of fairness, it was mostly Pundit who went all: YOU GUYS ARE TRANSPHOBIC I FOUND A QUOTE. RACISSS. STALKER. UNPERSON. YOU HATE THE OSR, a few brainwashed morons chiming in weakly(and lamely if i might add, relevant RPG.net regulars somehow still reading this, lamely. your mockery needs spunk and lacks venom) and the rest looking on sheepishly, trying to ignore the obvious insanity and paranoia going on. Jon Jung Un points fingers and shouts and the rest meekly echoes his claims, telling themselves that they have nothing to envy and at least they wont have to worry about Ettin Jung Il anymore.

  59. December 7, 2014 11:38 pm

    A strange lack of sympathy for a different bunch of weirdos from some of the respondents:

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=68602

    I hope it wasn’t a hate crime, I hope it was just a green dragon otherkin who hadn’t gained breath weapon control yet. I hope Alexis Tao is okay.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 8, 2014 7:27 am

      Yeah, that is pundit-level hate for a bunch of convention goers. That Raven-ass dipshit thinks publishing a photo of those dudes in their fursuits shows the difference between US and THEM.

      Because a fat neckbeard in his cheeto-stained utility kilt and sweat-marked t-shirt 3 sizes too small is mainstream.

      And the fucking idiot who thinks chlorine gas is no big deal – is that one of mjollnir’s sock puppets?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 8, 2014 10:55 am

      And yet another reason why YDIS exists, why it must continue to exist, has been revealed:

      No matter how much they try to deny it, deep down, they are just like us.

      • Scott permalink
        December 8, 2014 12:57 pm

        http://brunching.com/images/geekchart.pdf

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 8, 2014 2:48 pm

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 8, 2014 3:17 pm

        You KNOW Mika ran off to join them. I think her fursona will be a golden jackal. I also noticed a green dragon in the B-roll, I think they should bring it in as a dragon of interest.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      December 8, 2014 10:55 am

      Maybe somebody in a skunk costume tried to pump it up a notch, but was just not familiar enough with gas canister tech to not fuck it up.

      I don’t get it. A lot of this furry stuff is sexual, but even the chicks wears the same type of giant fake heads as the mascots at Disneyland (the ones Mexican kids love to punch and kick the shit out of). Can’t the gals at least ditch that and do up some cat-ears and KISS make-up shit? Kind of look more like Omaha the Cat Dancer than somebody in a Daisy Duck outfit. Of course, there would probably be more rapes than gas attacks, but what’r ya gonna do?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 8, 2014 11:29 am

        The mascot look is a feature, not a bug. The furries don’t want catgirls, they want Snagglepuss:

        http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2001/03/furries200103

        I’m totally “vanilla”, but I’m fascinated by weird paraphilias. The furries seem like a nice enough bunch of people.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 8, 2014 11:39 am

        For the record, the fetish that I am currently find most baffling and hilarious is “cranking”:

        http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2014/06/saginaw_republican_running_for.html

        Kinda makes a dude fucking “Monterrey Jack” from the “Rescue Rangers” seem tame in comparison.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 8, 2014 12:38 pm

        Why are these whack jobs (pun intended) always on the Republican ticket?

      • OABD permalink
        December 8, 2014 12:44 pm

        Oscar Anderson Likes this.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 8, 2014 3:56 pm

        That article about furries made for some fascinating reading. I have a suspicion an aquaintance of mine might be gravitating towards one, and a friend who has something similar(though its only the psycho-sexual thing, no suits). I’ve always wondered what causes it and why.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 8, 2014 5:39 pm

        I’m cool with whatever consenting adults do with each other to get off. I wish your acquaintance all the best. Just think how bad his or her kink Could be:

        http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2014/11/what-its-like-to-date-a-horse.html

        Human psychosexuality is weird, Rule 34 and all that. Somewhere on this planet, someone beat off to Gene’s flail video. In fact, there could be a whole subculture of “flailies” out there.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 8, 2014 7:55 pm

        Or bec-de-corbenitas.

  60. Xartan Tsathoggua permalink
    December 8, 2014 8:42 am

    Raggi’s off the hook apparently someones already published Dark Albion:

    http://www.amazon.com/Dark-Albion-A-Requiem-English/dp/0957228902

    Apparently with a bit of assistance from Mjollnir

  61. Scott permalink
    December 8, 2014 8:43 am

    As is demonstrated here regularly, there’s nothing more cruel than how a nerd treats someone they think is even nerdier.

    Well, there are lots of things crueler than that, but still.

    “First, they came for the furries …”

  62. December 8, 2014 11:23 am

    I honestly have no idea who RPG pundit is (Tarnowski? I was under the impression he was Hispanic.) The first time that I had heard of the RPGSITE was when I was told that someone had mentioned my YouTube videos there in 2007:

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=7342

    I still don’t know who that Settembrini person, talking about me there, is (I’ve met six people from internet forums and with the exception of Gary Gygax all them were my fellow bogus coworkers at one time or another at bogus Pied Piper Publishing circa 2001-2002.) but I had read that thread and thinking “They really like me!” I showed up for a while on THE RPG SITE. Thought it would be something that I’d like. It wasn’t. I didn’t last because I usually drift off after constant gainsay on any forum.

    I don’t know what Pundit has to say about transsexuals but my opinion has always been that D&D and RPGs in general are inherently hypersexual and transsexualism is a byproduct of that same hypersexualism as an after thought. For instance, the blurring of gender stereotypes when creating a character is an automatic thing because there are never any maidens in distress as PCs.

    I know this doesn’t sit well with the notion that D&D is the old man’s game and any other post-D&D rpg is a new age person’s game but fuck it, I don’t have anything to lose by saying it. I used to have a joke sign on my forum:

    [URL=http://smg.photobucket.com/user/geneweigel/media/Tsr_logo_wizardpenis_zps6f07af43.jpg.html][IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v175/geneweigel/Tsr_logo_wizardpenis_zps6f07af43.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

    On the other hand, its one thing to have an open mind but when players start dictating how the atmosphere of a fantasy should be toned down or hyped up based on their feelings then its time to tell them to vote with their walking shoes.

    I’ve walked out of many games. From observation, I’d probably walk out on the average Dragonsfooter’s game but if the insane flag wasn’t waving I’d usually give everybody a chance.

    I don’t think I could get along with the Lamentation/Geoffrey/Bloodymage type campaigns probably based on the assumption that there would be some weird fulfillment going on…

    “Then a little girl, with a shrunken rotund man’s face, scampers out with what looks like your shriveled penis in a jewelry box illustrated with public domain artwork.”

    Honestly, this Pundit’s Indian RPG seems to be just a repeat/rinse of all rpg efforts. I wouldn’t vilify him over that.

    I’m not saying that he should get a medal either.

    He’s just another easy target like that OSRIC passive-aggressive figurehead.

    Why don’t you people pick on that guy? Hmmmm… makes me wonder… maybe a quick litmus test will reveal…

    The daleks are sentient dildos!!!! 😉

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 8, 2014 1:08 pm

      I wouldn’t lump Blooey in with Raggi and Geoffrey- the Stink in Golonda wasn’t about a vulva after all (Kent’s the one with Fear of the Quim). Blooey’s PbP did have an inordinate number of encounters with canines, which could represent his conflicted feelings about his dog groomer ex, but there didn’t seem to be any sexual content.

      I don’t know about the OSRIC guy, is he at K&K? That site seems even more moribund than the Shite. Not a lot of new threads there. Is the guy as fun to poke with a stick as Pundejo?

      Gene, Schiz and I were mulling over grabbing a drink in the vicinity of the Compleat Strategist, probably after the holidays. You in?

      • December 8, 2014 8:24 pm

        I just might…
        As long as there is a life-size cut out of pseudo-Bloodymage…

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 8, 2014 1:16 pm

      Has Gene ever read anything that he comprehended?

      Still, if there is a party with BLF, Schiz, and Gene, we need to have a webcam active. Please post the URL.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        December 8, 2014 1:22 pm

        Gene was THERE*…

        * – at Pied Piper Publishing c.2001-2

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 8, 2014 1:32 pm

        I sure hope it’s not THAT kind of party. Is Gene a billionaire dinosaur?

        Gene was THERE, in the Mesozoic!

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 8, 2014 7:51 pm

        Well, even if it didn’t devolve into cheap hedonistic sensualism, that would still be an interesting conversation.

        Right Oscar?

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 8, 2014 1:24 pm

      *brain explodes*

    • December 8, 2014 1:51 pm

      No homo but man, you are like officially the Bloodymage of Earth Michel-Foucault now.

  63. Scott permalink
    December 8, 2014 1:04 pm

    da fuq

  64. PrinceofNothing permalink
    December 8, 2014 4:50 pm

    12. Chn4shaq KhyChn6shayalu : “The Mystery of Mysteries .” This book is written in
    Classical Tsolyani . It adds +5 percent to the possibility of Divine Intervention (see
    below). It is usable by all professional types, all levels, all races, and both alignments
    . Once read, it disappears, however.

    Waaay too late for this one. Sigh, retracting my perfunctory blessing of Tarnowski’s wondrous and book item sections. He took em too! (all the interesting wondrous items were from EoPT).

    • bad wolf permalink
      December 9, 2014 8:57 am

      Dammit, i knew that one, but i didn’t have a chance to look up which book it was this week. FYI i think some of the Jakallan Underworld section sounds a lot like the dungeon levels you wrote about–the succubi level sounds like Nyelmu’s Garden of the Weeping Snows, eg.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 9, 2014 12:14 pm

      At this point why bother, we have merely scratched the surface of this fucking fractal tesseract of hucksterism and Jon Jung Un has already blown an artery shifting all those goalposts. The plot to destroy him and advance our nefarious story-gaming agenda is proceeding as planned.

      [Don’t think he did, and if he did, he failed miserably. The Jakalla Underworld remains evocative and cool as fuck. Considering buying it if only to prevent Scott from running me over with his car but 11 dollars for a pdf(discount price) is kind of bs imho. Maybe i’ll split the difference with a mate.]

  65. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    December 8, 2014 11:57 pm

    You know, there is a difference between more mainstream Monster Erotica like:

    Taken by the T-Rex
    The Orc Chief’s Virgin Tribute
    Riding the Dragon
    Captured by the Ogre King
    Milked by an Understanding Hand (oops, that’s Lactation Erotica)
    Laid by the Lizardman

    etc.

    and teh gay:

    Forced Gay by Aliens
    Gay Cyclops Gangbang
    Turned Gay by the Troll King
    and Billionaire Dinosaur Forced me Gay

    If that’s your thing, more power to you, no judgement, but please realize that your tastes are a little on the fringe, so to speak. It makes it difficult for the rest of us to discuss our reading preferences at work with our co-workers when they just assume you must be into the homo dinosaur stuff too.

  66. December 9, 2014 6:24 am

    My bogus TSR image didn’t show. Oops try this:

  67. December 9, 2014 6:54 am

    Sykirobme, surveyor of game troglodytes: “What’s wrong with collectible card games? TROGLODYTE!”

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 9, 2014 7:21 am

      Most of us did that in seventh grade.

      Cutting edge, as always, Gene.

      Or are you going to claim that you created seventh grade, much like you did the blOwSR and the BECMI designation and the Uber Troll?

      • Jack permalink
        December 9, 2014 9:07 am

        He was THERE! In seventh grade!

      • December 10, 2014 5:56 am

        Seventh grade? CCG 1994, about 12 years old in 7th grade means you’re saying you’re all born in 1982? I might have been THERE with your mothers in 1982 but I can’t say stuck around for 7th grade. Sorry…

        Gene Weigel: Deadbeat Dad. HE WASN’T THERE!

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 10, 2014 8:25 am

        I think Gene has been drinking potions of super heroism again.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 10, 2014 1:53 pm

        Poor Gene. Lured back to pedophile’s apartment to “play D&D” then kicked out because he was too ugly to molest. That kind of rejection has got to reek havoc on a kid’s psyche.

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      December 10, 2014 9:02 am

      The Gene Genie lives on his back
      The Gene Genie loves flails and Big Macs
      He’s outrageous, he screams and he bawls
      Gene Genie let yourself go!

      • December 10, 2014 2:24 pm

        Big Macs? Boy, I WAS THERE when they came out and …

        Oh… wait.

        I think I WAS over THERE across town getting gang-raped by several Arduin and TUNNELS & TROLLS players.

  68. Zombieman permalink
    December 9, 2014 7:33 am

    thanks for the link. I actually read the first part of that ages ago but it hadn’t turned into the whinefest just yet.

    If he doesn’t like John IRL, what did he want to be called? TheRPGPundit? That’s…incredibly sad.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 9, 2014 8:37 am

      Official bro-code policy states that whenever someone gives himself a nickname that he does not deserve his bros need to change it into a nickname sort of similar but way more embaressing.

      Of course Pundit probably doesn’t have any friends. Ha haaa!

      #truth

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 9, 2014 10:00 am

        I’m definitely not his bro, but this works for me, Pundejo he is, and Pundejo he shall remain.

      • Aos permalink
        December 9, 2014 2:00 pm

        RPGPlagiarist is my personal favorite.
        Hi, Tarno!

    • December 9, 2014 8:59 am

      For comparison, according to Chirine hiBakal Professor Barker had people call him “Phil” even though he was an actual professor.

      • December 9, 2014 2:06 pm

        Not to mention having converted to Islam during his travels to South Asia and having adoptec the name Mohammed abd al-Rahman (hence, “M. A. R. Barker”), and yet being enough of a sport to ask people call him Phil (according to chirine) and sign his emails Phil (this I verified in the old Blue Room mailing list).

        Not to mention playing RPGs and smoking dope in his basement with a bunch of students, if Old Geezer is to be believed. Best. Department. Chair. Ever.

      • Aos permalink
        December 9, 2014 2:06 pm

        Most people who get an advanced degree get over it pretty fucking fast. I signed like three emails with some letters behind my name before sanity reasserted itself. The most significant thing I can say about said degree is at least I didn’t pay for that bull shit.

      • December 9, 2014 4:08 pm

        “at least I didn’t pay for that bull shit.” Thanks a lot Obama!

      • Aos permalink
        December 9, 2014 6:50 pm

        nah, I conned the university, not the gov’t.

      • Coxzucker permalink
        December 10, 2014 6:43 am

        As long as we’re discussing Barker, it’s worth pointing out that he was pretty much a Nazi, too. At least, he struck the pose for shock value. Of course, he married a Paki, so who knows how seriously he took it.

      • Xartan Tsathoggua permalink
        December 10, 2014 12:16 pm

        Nazi? Where’s your source for that?

      • Coxzucker permalink
        December 10, 2014 1:07 pm

        I game with several guys who, at one time or another, were members of his “Thursday Night” Tekumel group.

      • Xartan Tsathoggua permalink
        December 11, 2014 6:15 am

        Holy shit! I guess he was from northern Idaho.

      • bad wolf permalink
        December 11, 2014 6:38 am

        Not really sure what you’re referring to as ‘Nazi’. It’s hard to see any racial angles on Tekumel. The world more or less has one racial type, and it’s definitely a non-aryan olive skinned black hair look. A posthistorical mixing of everyone that wasn’t wiped out in a nuclear war, ie. north America and Europe (No blondes! No blue eyes!).

      • Scott permalink
        December 11, 2014 7:28 am

        Attorneys who insist on the “Esq.” after their names are even worse than other attorneys

      • Coxzucker permalink
        December 11, 2014 10:45 am

        ‘Taint Tekumel I’m talkin’ ’bout. Barker had a bizarre fascination with Holocaust Revisionism and other unseemly White Powery sort of deals. You should have seen the catalogue list for his “WW2 Collection” when they liquidated his books.

      • bad wolf permalink
        December 11, 2014 3:44 pm

        Interesting. Well, sorry i missed that, might have been useful to see some of his other books to look for Tekumel-related influences.

        I do remember his reputation for… let’s say curmudgeon-ness that may have negatively impacted the proliferation of EPT material–didn’t get along well with publishers, is what i’m saying.

  69. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    December 9, 2014 11:47 am

    What the fuck happenned to the Perilous Dreamer? Did he run off crying to hide after he got called out here?

    • December 9, 2014 12:49 pm

      Real grognerds don’t cry. He’s been busy with his blog, compiling lists and quoting Tim Kask.

      http://originaldungeons-and-dragons.blogspot.com/

      • Sykirobme permalink
        December 10, 2014 7:18 am

        That blog is amazing. Never have so many words been written to no purpose. It’s a bunch of generalities and conceptual metagaming crap with no real gameable content.

        I’m seriously doubting the man actually plays the game. I rather believe he’s the original Bitter Non-Gamer.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 9, 2014 12:50 pm

      Maybe the cops pulled him over for a broken taillight and got a peek into the back of his van.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 9, 2014 3:06 pm

      Fuck Perilous D-tard. I get concerned when we don’t hear from Blooey. I need a daily update on his move to assisted living or his latest computer woes. Has his pastor emailed back or has Blooey pushed him to question his faith and now he’s left the church? Maybe just pop in at dragonsfart to report on catching his weirdo son clopping it to some brony porn.

  70. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 9, 2014 3:40 pm

    Is wacking it to brony porn really called “Clopping.” Like the sound of hooves? If so this is a brighter world for it.

    When I go to Dragonsfart each day eager to see some new movement on a retarded post or thread (one’s based on Star Wars never fail to please), my first act is to browse the first page in hopes to see movement on a Blooey thread. He’s killing me with antici…pation for more on his gaming threads. But any damn tidbit will do. When he declared Facebook a “money sink” on his Boredom thread I was gibbering with delight for days. C’mon Bloodymage, for the sake of the holidays give us MORE!!! Think of the (man) children!

  71. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    December 9, 2014 5:40 pm

    I’ll be the first to admit that reading YDIS has been an educational experience for me. I have broadened my vocabulary quite extensively thanks to some of the more erudite posters here. But then I learn about something like “clopping” and I wonder if it’s really worth it after all.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 9, 2014 7:18 pm

      You’re not as freaked out about brony porn as the guy who’s marrying Twilight Sparkle is:

      http://www.avclub.com/article/the-internet-finally-reaches-its-apex-as-man-marry-94206

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 9, 2014 7:45 pm

        The chlorine gas attack suddenly makes a lot of sense. Has this guy been brought in for questioning as a Brony of Interest?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        December 9, 2014 7:49 pm

        In all fairness, Twilight Sparkle is a bit of a slut.

      • December 10, 2014 6:41 am

        Things like this give me delusions of normality.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 10, 2014 9:24 am

        The weirdest thing about that picture is the heart with the “squish” label on it. As fucked up as the rest of the picture is, it’s comprehensible. That little heart, though, is utterly baffling.

        Fuck, why am I overthinking brony porn?

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 10, 2014 9:33 am

        Overthinking it is one step away from clopping.

        Pull out, dude, before it’s too late.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 10, 2014 10:03 am

        Drop it, lest you clop it.

        “What’s going on in there? It sounds like Amish rush hour!”

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 10, 2014 10:27 am

        Quest: Someone write a 10 out of 10 review about this game and how it was the most beautiful experience of your life and post it on Rpgsite. No cheating, it needs to actually be read.

      • ARE YOU CLOPPING IT? permalink
        December 10, 2014 10:33 am

        Official Brony Code states you don’t clop it to another guy’s horse. It’s MY Little Pony, not OUR Little Pony.

      • ARE YOU CLOPPING IT? permalink
        December 10, 2014 10:36 am

        $25 for the ClopFinder PDF? Talk about taking advantage of clopping addicts!

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 10, 2014 11:18 am

        Where would we be without our close, personal friend on 7chan.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        December 11, 2014 4:34 pm

        It’s not gay if it’s a girl horse, right? Asking for a friend.

  72. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    December 9, 2014 7:34 pm

    This Christmas season don’t neglect Blooey’s third store, the Polyhedron Game’s Complete Gaming Store on Amazon. In addition to a wide variety of generic gaming goodies, there is a book section with a nice selection of tomes on adventure and game design. And also the Official Soviet RPG Manual:

    http://astore.amazon.com/pogall-20/detail/1581605676

    No doubt thanks to some of Blooey’s early Russian spambot/RPG fans.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      December 9, 2014 7:38 pm

      Buy some product!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 9, 2014 8:13 pm

        No money 😦

    • December 10, 2014 6:25 am

      “This item is not available for purchase from this store.”

      Oh, why did you taunt me so?

      • December 10, 2014 6:53 am

        http://astore.amazon.com/pogall-20/detail/B00ALG68UE

        “currently unavailable”

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 10, 2014 7:25 am

        Hmmm…that must be the revisionist intelligentsia narrative of Stalingrad.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 10, 2014 9:07 am

        Hey, what’s this under the sofa cushions? I seem to have money after all. 🙂

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 10, 2014 10:20 am

        Blooey, that cover is sexist and degrading to women. As a SJW I have to demand Amazon remove it or I am pulling my product from their digital shelves because I have the clout to do that since my product is currently ranked at #1,237,943 on the Amazon best sellers list!

  73. Shitty McTits permalink
    December 9, 2014 9:57 pm

    Sure, Grim Jim is a douche, but that doesn’t mean I don’t also want to punch Fred Hicks in his smirking smug face.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      December 9, 2014 11:16 pm

      And I want to see you forced to sit by helplessly and watch as Grim Jim molests your children. We all have our little fantasies, don’t we?

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      December 10, 2014 5:36 am

      This is why God gave you two fists: why choose between them when you could be punching both?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 10, 2014 10:15 am

      Now now, Dr. Spectre! Punching Grim Jim AND Ettin at the same time is how we roll around here!

      • Scott permalink
        December 11, 2014 7:29 am

        That’s three fists.

  74. ARE YOU CLOPPING IT? permalink
    December 10, 2014 10:26 am

    I hope we get to see Blooey’s Christmas tree this year! I’m picturing that Charlie Brown tree, but sicklier, and he can’t get the lights to go on (infernal technology!)

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=68618

  75. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    December 10, 2014 10:42 am

    I just found ClopFinder on 7chan. Review may follow….

  76. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 10, 2014 11:11 am

    I wonder where Blooey keeps all his product. mugs and steins (they “increase your drinking pleasure” apparently. +2 drank?), shower curtains and flip flops, t-shirts etc. He doesn’t seem to have room at his place. He surely cannot afford a storage space.

    “Die, orc, die” is OK I guess and a reason somebody might buy an item with that on it. But so many items simply say “Polyhedron Games LLC.” LOTFP mugs might at least indicate to other gamers at a con where your head is at gaming-wise. Only one of us would recognize a Polyhedron Games mug, for good or ill.

    We should start our own Bloodymage product line (even if only we buy them ourselves). Blooey sayings galore like “Facebook is a money sink” mouse pads. “Eat, crap, rinse, repeat” kitchenware, “Buy some product before I exit this world! – Polyhedron Games LLC” T-shirt, “Stink in Golonda” boxer shorts.

    Any other ideas?

    • December 10, 2014 11:20 am

      An “eat pea crap” line of adult diapers would be a hit. How about Golonda scented candles?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 10, 2014 12:51 pm

      Blooey should hire TV infomercial’s Vince (and by hire I mean charge $1,000 to work for him) to do a commercial for his new Brony Kitchenware product line, Slap Clop.

      You’re gonna love my nuts!

  77. December 10, 2014 11:19 am

    There’s no stopping the bronies from clopping!

  78. Kent permalink
    December 10, 2014 11:30 am

    Scott, are you going to post your review of Toad’nd’s DMing book here?

    ydis might start a new thread with it as he did with this thread.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 10, 2014 11:39 am

      When is your Aione megadungeon going up on kickstarter, kent? Is Lord Pompadooloo the BBEG? Is Rob Conley doing the cartography? I take it for granted that he is doing the editing.

      • December 10, 2014 8:57 pm

        Leave it to Kent to name a major NPC Lord Pumpthedoodoo… must’ve been a reference to a guy he’d met the preceding weekend.

  79. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 10, 2014 12:45 pm

    I think Perilous Dreamers “Million room Mega Dungeon” is the final word on mega dungeons. Unless you count the concept as unintentional self-parody.

  80. Kent permalink
    December 10, 2014 3:05 pm

    Someone (not me I don’t want to) should review Zak Hitler S’s – Red Unpleasant Pants.

    And, if Id known Mandy was an intimidating intellectual I would have been very polite to Zak all along and hit on her, the little fox. Too late now.

    http://www.bleedingcool.com/2014/12/artist-game-designer-zak-smith-talks-red-pleasant-land/

    Zak Hitler’s Moustache on his Head S:
    “If Mandy goes to a game forum and is like “I’m a porn actress and bi- and a feminist and I made a tentacle rape porn and I wear chainmail bikinis on Halloween and I’ve read more Simone De Beauvoir than you and I play a different edition of D&D than you and I don’t feel even a little bit bad about it” she’s already put half the forum on edge just by showing up.”

    also this:

    Zak Hitler’s Moustache on his Head S:
    “If anyone does have any questions for me, they can ask in public (anonymously if you like) on http://ask.fm/TheActualZakSmith or on twitter at zaksmithsabbath or they can privately (and anonymously if they like) e-mail me at zakzsmith at hawt mayle. I will answer all of them. We get a lot out of the online D&D community–I’d be happy to help people out any way I can.”

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 10, 2014 4:59 pm

      Wow, yet another one of Zak’s apologists furthers the narrative. That useless fuck was one of Zakina’s playtesters on his RaPeland.

      Those were some of the pussiest questions of all time. Not a single question about why he stalks gay people on their own blogs or his inability to plant a goalpost in any conversation on the net.

    • December 10, 2014 5:04 pm

      I hope a bad apple or two does not abuse this, however Zak is open to questions:

      http://ask.fm/TheActualZakSmith

      • ARE YOU CLOPPING IT? HOW ABOUT YIFFING? permalink
        December 10, 2014 7:18 pm

        WTF is that website? Ask a fem?

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 11, 2014 6:23 am

        Hahaha i smell Bigby’s Lubed fist in there somewhere.

      • December 11, 2014 9:01 am

        TROUBLE IN 5ECONSULTANTPARADISE

        Q: “How friggin’ annoying is it to be forced to share a tent with RPGPundit and James Desborough over various phony hullabaloos? It must be like drawing the short straw when the local neo-Nazis slither into your ACLU office — “$%#@$% why me?” You can be honest here, we’re in the trust tree :)”

        A: “I don’t “share a tent” with those assholes. What are you on about?”

        Do you guys feel this is worth posting over at theRPGsite? Should I start a new thread, or sneak it into the existing, sticky (heh) “This Is Why We Don’t Like You” mirror-grognards.txt thread they already have going on? Or better still, shoot it as a private message to my good friend and gracious host in Montevideo?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 11, 2014 6:37 am

        That actually wasn’t me, which is amusing because it means that “Pundejo” might be gaining some traction.

        Pobrecito Pinche Puto Pundejo!

      • December 11, 2014 9:21 am

        Actually, I’ve been using “Pundejo” for a while now: http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?p=473950&highlight=pundejo#post473950

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 11, 2014 9:17 am

        Butcher, I believe Pundejo is entitled to know what Zak says about him.

      • December 11, 2014 9:40 am

        Indded. I just wonder whether it’s worth blowing my cover (so to speak), and then , in which manner.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 11, 2014 9:48 am

        Your suggesstion of the “We hate you” thread is good and visible, though it will associate you with his legion of enemies and also brand you as a racist and Storygamer, so it may not be worth it. A PM to your pal lacks the high visibility and will be summarily dismissed behind the scenes, but it will not expose you as one of the haterz.

        But it would be awesome to see Zakina’s calling Pundejo an asshole published on the rpgshite.

        Your call, amigo.

    • December 11, 2014 12:30 am

      Reviewing Zaksabbath McGee’s Alice? I’d offer, but I’ve been accused of Zak apologia often enough that I don’t think you trust me. That and there’s every chance I won’t hate it, or be funny enough to compensate for that.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 11, 2014 12:54 am

        Also shit, Yo Von. You missed everything, possibly because you were too busy playing and fantasizing about dragonlance. Channel your love for WHFB into a hatred for the Zakster that wants to surpass it. You can do it.

      • December 11, 2014 2:23 am

        I know, right? I turn my back for one weekend and something that’s actually worth talking about blows up. I’ve let myself down, I’ve let you down, and I’ve let Pundit down (I shan’t be registering on the Shite though, having actually played Vampire and suchlike; I wouldn’t like to give him legitimacy by having an actual storygamer to argue with…).

        I guess I owe y’all a Zalice review: although I don’t hate the guy, or his work – I hate the conversational minefield that exists around him and the vigour with which he lays into anyone who doesn’t argue properly.

      • December 11, 2014 2:24 am

        Maybe I should try to do Proper Criticism on it or something – you know, less of the “here’s what works for me and here’s what doesn’t” stuff that Zakatha dismisses as such ass-burbling, and actually try to engage with it as a text of merit. We’ll see what beasts emerge.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 11, 2014 12:51 am

      Zak is going to out Storm of Chaos Storm of Chaos ey? Say what you will, the fucker has some balls.

      [Insert homophobic/intolerant hate screed]

      Yeah the interview was kind of softballery but the interviewer was a playtester so I think that is to be expected(Still not convinced RAPL is shit btw, melting the hardened lube).

      Kent, if you see a copy of Red Unpleasant Pants floating around give us a heads up yeah? And did you find Deep Carbon Observatory yet?

      • Kent permalink
        December 11, 2014 5:45 am

        Having bought Vornheim when it came out I won’t be looking for a pdf of Red Unpleasant pants. No, I never found a pdf of DCO before I lost interest in it. I suppose it is douchey to look for a technically illegal copy but I would only pay for osr D&D stuff as a reward gesture.

      • December 11, 2014 6:55 am

        Leave this work to others. We couldn’t live with ourselves if you were to pop your douchey cherry on our behalf.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 11, 2014 6:06 am

        That bad huh? What turned you off from Vornheim(other then mandy on the cover)?

        I agree pirating is kind of douchy but i do make it a point to buy everything i actually use in a game. Not being able to browse through a book before buying it is a huge disincentive for me to check it out in the first place. Not to mention the fact that most(tenfootpole is pretty clear on what he likes/criteria) reviews of OSR products amount to little more then handjobs.

      • Kent permalink
        December 11, 2014 6:19 am

        “Not being able to browse through a book before buying it is a huge disincentive for me”

        Totally.

        I don’t think pirating digital media is douchey *at all* in fact I advocate it heartily and think anyone who thinks it is ‘stealing’ is a moron who doesn’t know what words mean.

        It is just that at the osr scale of someone’s beer money one link could destroy a legitimate form of feedback for their effort. I would still like to discreetly find a copy to see what they did, it *sounds* like the best thing since Carcosa and Melan’s Systema Tartarobasis (which is free).

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 11, 2014 6:33 am

        “I don’t think pirating digital media is douchey *at all* in fact I advocate it heartily and think anyone who thinks it is ‘stealing’ is a moron who doesn’t know what words mean.”

        Depends on the scale/context i agree. I don’t feel bad at all for downloading shit made by a large publisher but if some poor lonesome cowboy slaved away on his book and its great and i end up using it i would probably consider throwing him a few copper pieces for the effort and to incentivize more. A lot of awesome publishers offer their corebook as pay what you want nowadays, which i think is cool.

        Carcosa kicks ass.

        DCO should be around somewhere, and from what i saw it looks good. Perhaps you could ask our close personal friend?

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 11, 2014 6:50 am

        Carcosa sucks scrotum. but that is why this site is so wonderful, we are not a monolithic juggernaught of groupthink.

        Von, I look forward to yor review.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 11, 2014 6:59 am

        @MBB

        While i am still in my curious/agreeable phase as i detox from all the bile i have taken in from glimpsing into the fungi-covered and spider of Leng-infested Underdark that is the mind of Tarnowski, let’s discuss!

        Why did you think it sucked balls(other then the creepy rituals, the silly dice rules, the lack of race differentiation and the fact some of the hexes had “5 deep ones” as a listed encounter)?

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 11, 2014 8:41 am

        Prince, fair enough, though I lack your wit and erudition (even in my native tongue! Gah!).

        Yeah, some of the rituals are creepy in their sex-with-kids nature (discounting geoffi’s revisionist “11 year olds are really 21” bullshit). I am not a prude, but that disgusts me and taints the product as a whole for me.

        The player characters being limited to two classes and the sameness of all the races (not that ODD had a lot of mechanical differentation, but there was a little, anyway (ie elves choosing MU or FM each adventure) makes it bland as afar as being a character. The sorcerer class is slightly less boring than the fighting man, but the two classes are a step backward, not a distillation, from OD&D.

        The wilderness hex descriptions were ripped off wholsale in concept from Bledsaw, and it tried so hard to be a Judges Guild hex crawl, but it lacked the nuance and charm of those Wilderland products. Even the In Media Res descriptions seemed paint by numbers, aping a product from 30 years ago. This was a pale imitation, not an homage.

        The dice rules were gay, just DM dickishness that had no parallel from the real world, just a fetish for mechanics.

        Despite the title and a few place names, there is nothing to tie it to Chambers’ Carcosa (or even Bierce’s Inhabitant). Those stories were tied together by the King in Yellow play. Geoffi chose it because Lovecraft said he was a fan of Chambers. There is no other link at all for choosing the name Carcosa, which has always been kinda evocative for me – so maybe this is a personal thing.

        The alien atmosphere is interesting, and I wanted to like it (yeah, i said it), but it was fucking drab (with an inextricable air of pedophilia) in execution.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 11, 2014 11:05 am

        Geoffry’s revisionist you-shouldnt-play-sorcerors and kids-are-really-21 was one of the worst decisions he ever made. The game is absolutely made to play a sorceror. Finding those spell components is one of the reasons to explore shit. He should have dug in his heels, proudly raised his chin at his critics and said: “Yes, my game features ritual(2? cant be more then 4) child molestation and murder as spell components. What of it? It’s set on a non-existant alien planet featuring colour coded humans riding feathered laser breathing allosaurs fighting over 50s rayguns and lovecraftian paraphernelia. There is no way human sacrifice and ritual rape is not going in there. I’m sorry. I tried. Couldn’t be done.”

        I guess you sort of have a point with the class differentiation actually going a step backward but i sort of liked that he tried to do the swords vs sorcery thing and basically said, fuck it, lets throw out the vancian magic system in favor of something more unpredictable, morally repugnant and dangerous as shit. I kind of missed Sorcerors getting some other Pulpy powers such as hypnotism or feats of inhuman strength or strange curses or whatever. Lil’ plus point for the psychic powers.

        Carcosa was one of those few products where i actually went, huh, so this is also something you can do with DnD. It retains some elements, but a Carcosa campaign is not going to be like a normal DnD campaign(even if grim jim DM’s it). But i must admit it was among the first OSR products i laid mine eyes on.

        My familiarity with Bledsaw and Jaquays is lacking(i.e i browsed through a couple of scans several times and thought, this is kind of cool), so i cant really comment on how it lives up to Ye olde Wilderlands of High Fantasy(i guess my storygaming colours have been revealed). I always looked at the Wilderlands as sort of a Frank Frazetta(Death Dealer?) painting and Carcosa as that same Frazetta painting, only now it has been spraypainted on your car window and you watch it ghostriding through traffic at 120 miles per hour, car radio vomiting heavy metal at painful intensity, dropping tabs of acid every time you hear a car horn.

        The (unique) monsters kicked ass. Some of the hex locations kicked ass. The artifacts were great. I guess it’s a personal preference thing. As i said, i ran it once and it was amazing. But i will absolutely attest it has serious problems.

        Yeah, Carcosa was probably selected for the name and was not defined. This is either old school or just lazy. I always thought Carcosa was about as much C.Ashton Smith as it was Lovecraft. Anyway, gotta run, thanks for the opinion.

        [Token insult about Dragonlance]

    • bad wolf permalink
      December 11, 2014 6:25 am

      I think this is what you’re looking for–hard-hitting reportage on the state-of-the-OSR-art by Pope Pius XLV JaMal himself. (Note still avoiding mention of 5th Ed.)

      http://www.blackgate.com/2014/12/09/a-red-pleasant-land/

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 11, 2014 6:48 am

        Thanks, Bad wolf.

        No surprise the pope is crotch-nuzzling that clique. Or that random tables are his favourite thing from the book.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 11, 2014 6:51 am

        Leave it to Mal to jizz over random tables. Also, didn’t someone else (maybe Jack, maybe the Planet Algol guy) already write up the “kid sucked into a fantasy world” archetype as a class already?

      • December 11, 2014 8:26 am

        HAW HAW HAW as the cruel teen in a Jack Chick would say. The man who used to spit into his hanky when a cartoon about fucking rats in the kitchen showed animated eurotrash reproducing without benefit of clergy say-so, and now Zak gets a pass because production values?

  81. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 10, 2014 5:43 pm

    He watched a hawk eat a pigeon for like, an hour? Jesus. Morbid curiosity should make most people with the stomach for it last about 3 minutes before they are sickened or bored. What a fucking creepy guy.

    He clearly has not fired an actual gun.

    Zak is an idiot who does not know shit. It wasn’t white people forcing terms like “Afro American” or even “Pan African” on blacks. It was in many cases black student unions in colleges that started that shit and it caught on in other circles.

    I’m just going to get annoyed by this dudes ego bullshit (taking away from my feel good Blooey-isms), so Ima stay away from it. You guys go to town though!

  82. ARE YOU CLOPPING IT? HOW ABOUT YIFFING? permalink
    December 10, 2014 7:14 pm

    I’ve learned so much about furries these past few days.

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=yiffing

    • December 10, 2014 8:29 pm

      The 2000 “Vanity Fair” article on furries is a good read… an even-handed peek into a subculture that freaks the fuck out of 99.9% of the population.

  83. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    December 10, 2014 9:02 pm

    BREAKING NEWS from Lake Geneva:
    Presented without comment.*

    *I may comment after I stop laughing my ass off.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 10, 2014 9:03 pm

      Source: http://www.lakegenevanews.net/Articles-Lake-Geneva-News-i-2014-12-04-255143.114135-Work-on-Gygax-memorial-slowed-but-not-stopped.html#123

      I guess the guy who did the Fonzie statue is out.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 11, 2014 6:57 am

        Naw, Gerald Sawyer is the same faggot. Check out ydis’s post from earlier in the year.

        I am sure Gygax would be humbled by the grandeur of that…statue.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 11, 2014 6:19 am

      The life-sized head (which is huge, if the diagram is drawn to scale) features a mouth with a lifelike feel and a low-power heating element. Those visitors enterprising enough to bring a ladder will be able to leave the ranks of the Unblown.

    • Scott permalink
      December 11, 2014 7:36 am

      The Gary memorial is glorious. I like the placement of the central aperture, and the lower one looks like a stoma.

    • Gary Gygax (OFFICIAL) permalink
      December 11, 2014 10:26 am

      I HOPE YOU GUYS CUM TO SEE IT AND TEABAG MY FACE!

  84. Kent permalink
    December 11, 2014 6:10 am

    Again yeah,

    Zak with Hitler on his Head S:
    “Lamentations of the Flame Princess has commissioned a new book already, and my goal with that is to try to make something even better than the best game books of all time: Warhammer’s Realms of Chaos, Slaves to Darkness and Lost and the Damned. So that attempt will probably destroy me, as a human, in less than a year, but it should make for some spiffy monster fighting for y’all, so yeah.”

    ==

    Notice how he can’t say, “better than […] Warhammer’s Realms of Chaos” if that is his aim. He has to include “… the best game books of all time …”, which is a very stupid notion in itself. Then examining “the best gaming books in the world” we see mediocre writing decorating a book of illustrations of baroque demonic figures, initially thrilling … yet it becomes monotonous after five to ten minutes examination.

    What a tedious pratt and what a tiny real world must enclose his tiny physical skull. Too often he has drunk his “drink me” and has become a speck, a thumb sized squirrel with shaven head and hitler’s moustache glued to his pate. Hitler’s moustache has infiltrated Zak’s brain, his Jew brain.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 11, 2014 6:25 am

      I didn’t know anti-semitism was contagious… Kent must have caught it by ingesting copious amounts of Mjollnir’s semen.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 11, 2014 6:38 am

      I don’t buy Zak being Jewish, that is just shield rhetoric the way he has weaponized mandy’s disabilities for his benefit.

      But yeah, the way he holds a book of illustrations as the greatest RPG book ever is a tell.

      So we can expect his upcoming book to be a bunch of his Frank MIller-rip off illos and some random words organized into tables that you pour dice onto to construct a sentence.

      I can hear Raggs going to town with that double-headed Megadeath dildo from here.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 11, 2014 1:14 pm

        Zak is about as Jewish as Mjollnir is Kenyan.

    • December 12, 2014 9:14 pm

      I imagine that if you’re into spiky outsider-looking art crawling gelatinously over pages on which appear a host of tables, coming in d10, d100 or d1000 form and denoting a range of grotesqueries, flashing a cheeky little ‘Mature Content’ warning like a welcoming and sultry wink (a squint toward edginess and credibility, I mean), Realms of Chaos probably IS the best thing ever. Certainly the epitome of your own tastes, which is what nerd-folk generally mean when they say these things.

      (Slaves to Darkness anyway – The Lost and Damned always feels like what it is, a bodge-job nailed together toward the end of an edition’s lifespan, the last gasp before Tom Kirby ascends the throne and determines that teenagers who think they’re a bit metal are the people who SHOULD be playing Warhammer. It’s quite an attractive bodge-job but it feels like what it is – a collection of wargaming army lists and their attendant backgrounds bootstrapped into a volume that apes its predecessor.

      This isn’t the promised ‘Red and Pleasant Land’ review, but hold on to these ideas; you’ll be needing them.)

  85. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    December 11, 2014 10:10 am

    Popety Dopety sat on a wall,
    Popety Dopety took a $50,000 windfall,
    All Wrinklequim’s horsefaces,
    And all Autarch’s men,
    Couldn’t put Dwimmermount together again.

    • bad wolf permalink
      December 11, 2014 3:37 pm

      Dammit, it’s my favorite holiday of the OSR year: Grognardia Day! It was on this day, two years ago, that JaMal abandoned his latest attempt at a claim to fame, skulking away to work on his Tekumel Zine (a zine!?! Let me just post that to Fact Sheet Five) at the rate of one page a month; rehash his blog posts and childhood memories for Black Gate (someone *cough*John O’Neill*cough* should be ashamed), withdraw behind the G+ curtain and abscond with $50k and the dreams of the OSR community.

      If the OSR started with Gygax’s death, then it probably ended when Grognardia went dark. Happy Anniversary, everyone!

      • December 11, 2014 3:39 pm

        Fuck. I didn’t get you anything 😦

      • December 11, 2014 8:20 pm

        You’re not supposed to give him anything. You’re supposed to steal eighty to a hundred dollars from him and then go AWOL for a couple of years.

      • December 12, 2014 6:03 am

        “Where did my wallet go?”

        “It’s a Grognardia Day miracle! JaMal really does live in all our hearts.”

  86. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    December 11, 2014 10:15 am

    Somebody ask Zak over at Ask a Fem if he thinks clopping is an art form.

  87. Kent permalink
    December 11, 2014 11:59 am

    Deaf n Dumb SCOTT,

    I said,

    are you going to post your review of Toad’nd’s DMing book here?
    ydis might start a new thread with it as he did with this thread.

  88. Kent permalink
    December 11, 2014 12:18 pm

    Movies 2014:

    Boyhood – Linklater – Good in a low key way that makes most movie dramas appear hysterical.

    Is Interstellar any good? Im sick of being disappointed by movies that are good enough for ordinary people.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 12, 2014 4:20 am

      Interstellar is great, the ending is a bit goofy and you might find the saccharine-coating and warm, fundamentally human storyline too alien to comprehend, but it made going to space interesting again. Not a flawless movie, but pretty good, and finally some fucking hard science in my sf.

      • Kent permalink
        December 12, 2014 12:37 pm

        Im going to see it on monday for my annual fingers crossed cinema experience.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 12, 2014 1:33 pm

        Annual or anal?

  89. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 11, 2014 3:04 pm

    You might feel differently if you had any friends to go to the movies with you, Kunto. But that you want to discuss the mundane here of all places means you clearly don’t have any. Sad. And by sad I mean high-larious…

  90. Kent permalink
    December 11, 2014 3:10 pm

    Finally Bill Burr is on Comedians In Cars Getting coffee

    http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/

    • December 11, 2014 3:38 pm

      This is like someone coming on your lit forum going, “Finally Robert Jordan’s complete works are on Kindle.”

      • Kent permalink
        December 11, 2014 3:54 pm

        You’re heading for a Tao dump if you keep that up son. (ctrl+C ctrl+V)

  91. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    December 11, 2014 3:52 pm

    http://www.bronycon.org/

  92. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    December 11, 2014 4:53 pm

    Grim Jim Desborough gets called out in mockery for arguing on Twitter with a bot:

    http://wilwheaton.tumblr.com/post/104940677019/peabug-meladoodle-amazing

    HAHAHAHAHA! What a fucktard!

    • December 11, 2014 5:05 pm

      That’s a hoot!

    • Kent permalink
      December 11, 2014 5:17 pm

      Jesus, Desborough could use Rorschach for porn.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 11, 2014 5:39 pm

      Dim Jim… That’s a Blooey level cognitive lapse. At least his stupid hat will help him fit in at a Texas assisted living community.

      Eat pee crap rape repeat

    • Jack permalink
      December 11, 2014 6:06 pm

      Oh man, Christmas came early this year.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 11, 2014 7:31 pm

      Hilarious. Hopefully tha that becomes some kind of dumbass meme.

      • Scott permalink
        December 12, 2014 6:30 am

        If some wag wanted to make image macros for that very purpose, I put an exploitable here:

        For instance:

        (safe for work, not safe for sex work)

      • Scott permalink
        December 12, 2014 6:31 am

        lol @ “please note: your comment is awaiting moderation.”

      • ARE YOU CLOPPING IT? permalink
        December 12, 2014 12:08 pm

        You would think that the extensive public ridicule would have driven Grim Jim to another staged suicide “attempt” at the very least!

    • ARE YOU CLOPPING IT? permalink
      December 12, 2014 3:56 pm

  93. Let me tell you sbout my character permalink
    December 11, 2014 5:05 pm

    Looking for a unique gift this season for your hard-to-buy-for brony? How about a neon-colored pony tail appropriately named the Pony Plug?

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/16/brony-sex-toys_n_4605567.html

    • ARE YOU CLOPPING IT? permalink
      December 12, 2014 10:10 am

      It’s a deep rabbit hole, pun intended.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 12, 2014 10:52 am

        Ugh, that picture… is Raggi releasing a brony game?

        LotFP + Clop… CLotFP?
        Needs work…

      • December 12, 2014 10:54 am

        Death Clop Doom?

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 12, 2014 11:10 am

        Clop For Satan

      • December 12, 2014 11:49 am

        Uhhhhh… A Red and Pleasant Clop… shudder

        Clopcosa

      • ARE YOU CLOPPING IT? permalink
        December 12, 2014 12:06 pm

        The Clop from Beyond Time and Space
        The God that Clops
        The Clop-Cave of the Pony-Headed Children
        The Magnificent Clop van Ooms
        Clop of the Stargazer
        Clops of the Scarecrow
        Cloplong
        The Seclusium of Orphone of the Three Clops
        Clopheim

      • OABD permalink
        December 12, 2014 12:50 pm

        Oscar Anderson Likes this.

      • ARE YOU CLOPPING IT? permalink
        December 12, 2014 1:37 pm

        NOW I’M CLOPPIN’ IT!
        THERE’S NO STOPPIN’ IT!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 12, 2014 1:29 pm

      Cloplong… Heh heh… Clopalong Cassidy…

  94. Sykirobme permalink
    December 12, 2014 11:37 am

    Geoffrey’s afraid of the NSA and wants a typewriter…

    http://odd74.proboards.com/thread/10187/cheap-simple-word-processor

    • ARE YOU CLOPPING IT? permalink
      December 12, 2014 12:00 pm

      Geoffrey must have a sizeable offline kiddie porn stash built up by now.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 12, 2014 12:47 pm

      That kills me…like the fucking NSA is going to steal hex-descriptions for Carblowsa part 2.

      Or maybe he is finally developing the long rumored Supplement VI: Dixieland…

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 12, 2014 1:20 pm

      New supplement ey? Du Trou Dungeon? Tomb of Fritzl? Okay i can’t keep this up, i am very interested to see if he made Putrescent Pits of the Amoeboid Gods, probable sex offences nonwithstanding.

  95. kingofalltherotten permalink
    December 12, 2014 4:17 pm

    Did anyone catch:

    The song is from the Process Church:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Process_Church_of_The_Final_Judgment

    http://technoccult.net/dossiers/groups/the-process-church-of-the-final-judgement/

    So, did zakthehack and Raggi relight the 80’s satanic panic fires by using music from this batch of weirdos or are they just being tragically hip? Either way, thanks, jackasses, for putting gaming in with some weirdo religion.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 12, 2014 7:48 pm

      One pill makes you Raggi
      And one pill makes you Zak
      And the money you give JMal
      Is never coming back.
      Go ask Tavis, and that Alex Mac.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 13, 2014 8:48 am

        You win the thread!

  96. bloodymage permalink
    December 12, 2014 6:08 pm


    Brain tumor! 😦 Vines? Where do I find vines? Just dinkin’ around tryin’ to place vines and I have 2 varieties. Damned program keeps crashing but I have most of the vines drawn. Tired of trying right now Well, this isn’t much fun. Better get off this contraption before the yelling commences!

    • GRIM JIM permalink
      December 12, 2014 6:24 pm


      What program are you using? I don’t have any vines, but I may be able to help you.

      • bloodymage permalink
        December 12, 2014 6:29 pm


        Depression is a way of life for me. Not much is fun anymore. I just keep doing it. My family are all dead and I’m a virtual stranger now to my Dad’s second family. Problem is, I get exhausted trying to take care of myself. Just took a shower ’cause my bowels are acting up. I’m clean for the moment. Won’t last long with my body. Eat, pee, crap, rinse, clean, repeat. It takes me forever to get anything done anymore. Life in slow motion is no fun. And I’m so damned overwhelmed and broken that I’m almost afraid to go outside! A new place to live and a promising relationship. I need a wife to tell me when I’m bein’ stupid! 🙄

        And I’m not okay, but I won’t bore anyone with details.

      • GRIM JIM permalink
        December 12, 2014 6:32 pm


        I know how you feel. I suffer from depression too. I’m constantly harassed by feminazis and SJWs, it’s enough to drive you to suicide!

      • bloodymage permalink
        December 12, 2014 6:33 pm


        I got my Last Will & Testament from LegalZoom today. Now I need two witnesses and a notary to make it legal. I’m just going to need to get the nerve to get out and about to get all this stuff done.

  97. GRIM JIM permalink
    December 12, 2014 6:36 pm


    That sounds depressing. You can talk to me about anything, bloodymage. I’m here for you. We can’t let those who try to oppress us for defending rape win!

    • bloodymage permalink
      December 13, 2014 8:38 am


      I’m about to give up this damned hobby. I can’t seem to get anything done anymore.

  98. Kent permalink
    December 12, 2014 6:43 pm

    Oh yeah, Nightcrawler is a great movie by the way.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      December 13, 2014 11:45 am

      Indeed it is. Jake Gyllenhaal’s performance is incredible.

  99. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    December 12, 2014 10:58 pm

    Blooey, don’t quit on us!

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=36591

  100. December 12, 2014 11:15 pm

    Right. I caved and bought the thing (for actual money). I’m not

    So let’s get one thing straight, before we start. I do not loathe Zak Sabbath. I’m sorry for that. I read his blog, I can see where he’s coming from although dear god I don’t think elf games are important enough for some of his carrying-on (or ours, for that matter), and what he produces illustrates and is useful for a given style of play.

    I’m reluctant to engage with him directly. It only takes one semantic slip, one assumption, one piece of mildly lazy reasoning (perceived or actual, which could happen – after all, we’re not getting paid to talk about elf games and I don’t do my best thinking or writing for free), and he’s on you like dogshit on the tread of your boots. It’s an unfortunate mis-step, getting it off will be fiddly and leave you feeling dirty, but if you don’t deal with it the stink will follow you around for days.

    I also cordially dislike his art style. That’s nothing particularly informed, for I haven’t been to Art School and I’m not trained in critiquing visual works – it just grates on my senses. It feels scratchy and cruel – it reminds me somewhat of the twelve-year-olds I used to teach and once had to supervise for an art lesson. They clutched their pencils like chisels, scoring their way along the page with a kind of brutal determination to get it right first time and set it down, unrevised, in stone. Which, to be fair, is the way I wrote when I was a mildly autistic teenager convinced of my own genius and in love with the Warhammer aesthetic – and that’s where we come to ‘Red and Pleasant Land’.

    Let’s start with what’s in the bastard. It opens with the DM section, which seems logical enough.

    A map of Voivodja, already on square paper for your gaming convenience, not particularly attractive but functional. Random encounter table sits neatly off to one side, colour-coded and laid out so you roll a different kind of die depending on what kind of terrain you’re in and cross-reference to one table. No duplication, keeps everything tied to a thematically appropriate set of grobblies. Some superficially boring stuff like trolls, wolves, giant bats, some Wonderlandy stuff like mome raths, and yes, there is a chance to fight a Jabberwock.

    Flavour text about Voivodja, woven in and out of the gameables with varying success. It’s OK. It’s a little breathless, but it does the job of making me mildly curious and it’s never long enough for the style to grate as hard as the usual selfindulgent RPG tripe. Reads a bit like China Mieville (no wonder he likes it) and features the occasional wrench out of the purple prose and back into gamerese banality as Zak’s ironic-detachment-is-a-pillar-of-gaming principle makes itself felt.

    Regular permission from the author to use it in the way that you see fit, instruction to avoid stock Eurofantasy tedium, encouragement to use the Quantum Ogre because this isn’t Discworld II. Sad that he feels we need to be told, sad that some people probably do.
    Surprisingly few random tables. A couple of concepts, like the three-dimensional co-ordinates in Voivodjese terminology, which is nice flavour but which you’d have to train yourself and your group into parsing (and Zak essentially admits that making up some imitation-Carrol nonsense is what you should be doing anyway), feel like a look-up table there on the page would be called for.

    I know the setting has to be introduced, but I thought Zak’s big thing was that setting should be apparent from things like random tables and map keys and play aids, and that is how we should be told about your world. A foolish consistency is of course the hobgoblin of small minds, and this is more game-focused than the first, invariably fluff chapters in yr. average RPG would be, but I feel like he’s off form with some of this. It’s still mercifully short, and a lot more useful than making me wade through a ten page short story and a forty-page gazetteer before I get to the rules.

    The gameables that do exist are bullet-point lists of how things like duelling, time travel and croquet work in Voivodja, as well as notes on major plot points that could/should happen and ways to find Voivodjan shit in the real world. I’m not entirely sure what Red and Pleasant Land wants to be at this stage, since it often bowls underarm with this ‘if you have an imagination you’ll already have thought of that’ stuff (not entirely useless since, well, throw enough ideas out and you’ll eventually come up with one that a given reader hasn’t thought of, plus prompts are useful ’cause we can’t all be creative all the time). That feels like it’s meant to be for new or inexperienced players… but then, it’s a LotFP book and what are the odds you’ll have heard of it if you’re not already into the D&Ds?

    Duels and croquet are both decent, but my favourite of these sections is Behaviour of Creatures in Voivodja. This is where anyone who’s engaged Zak in conversation is probably sniggering because it’s exactly like trying to talk to him. Presumably he’s either smart enough to send himself up or feels it’s about his detractors (place yer bets, folks). Basically, people in Voivodja behave like idiot Transylvanian gamers having an Interwebs elbow-fight, which at least means the roleplaying shouldn’t be remotely challenging.

    So far, it’s good enough, especially since it’s not a self-contained game and so it doesn’t have the easy in of “here’s your chargen pages”. It avoids the major sins and it chucks out enough prompts that I’ve thought of two things I’d like to do with this book already; neither of them is “shove it up my arse and set light to it”.

    Next chapter is the new character class, the Alice. I’ll deal with that after breakfast.

    • December 12, 2014 11:55 pm

      The Alice. Short version: it’s a LotFP Specialist with marginally worse HD/saves/skills, a scaling table to roll on every hour of in-game time to make the plot go forward, and a d100 table to roll on every time you level up, giving bonuses to odd stuff, the bonuses being derived from Wonderland (as you might expect). It all has about it a whiff of the Philip Pullmans, the Hobbit, and anything else with a slightly bumbling protagonist who’s been dunked into a world they don’t fully understand, but greet with determination to make the best of things. Like the Carcosa Sorcerer, it’s a class that represents its surroundings (and let the comparison stop there, please).

      Presents the prospects of an all-Alice party, a lone Alice being escorted by more seasoned adventurers, or potentially applying the modifiers/bonuses to the Alice to another class for different formats of adventure (I immediately think of the Tim Burton film – Alice/Fighter, presumably – or maybe something a bit Simon-the-Sorcerer-ish with Alice/Magic User). You could probably do all this without making up a new class, but it’s harmless, a bit inspiring, and you can just gleefully skip over the chapter if you’re one of those twonks who won’t accept anything that wasn’t squeezed from the saggy teat of Gygax himself.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 13, 2014 12:13 am

      Zak is an awful lot like Humpty Dumpty with that “words mean what I say they mean” nonsense which he employs when he moves goalposts.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 13, 2014 8:45 am

        Zak’s new suckdungeon game needs its own form of clopping to Humpty Dumpty. I’m going to call it SCRAMBLED EGGS. Unless it’s Mandy in a Humpty Dumpty costume. Then it’s called OVER EASY.

        I’M SCRAMBLING EGGS!

    • December 13, 2014 12:42 am

      People and Beasts up next.

      Firstly: Elizabeth Bathyscape is the sort of shitty WFRP pun name that’s only funny once. The only way I would touch that with a barge pole is to fence her about with all of her elaborate aliases and then have her real name be a) ridiculous and b) her secret weakness or something. Mr. S. says the head vampires are to be played as puzzle monsters rather than giant pools of hit points, after all.

      Secondly: the efforts to make this both a LotFP book and a system-neutral inspiration manual might well clash in this section, since there’s a callout about the inconsistency of Da Roolz at higher levels and the need to adopt their spirit rather than the details. We’ll see how that turns out.

      Thirdly: alignment seems to have fucked off, to be replaced by allegiance to one of four factions. I don’t know if that’s entertainingly political or tediously grimdark – it could be either or both.

      Ordinary Animals get a single column and a generic statline corresponding to what size your character’s been shrunk down to, which seems fair enough and in keeping with the source material. Other creatures are often directly Alice-derived with a “and this is how they interact with D&D adventurers” twist, or are chessboard-based factional monsters like the White Bishop – a vampire cleric that has a recurring turns-into-toxic-white-slime motif. Professional experience may be involved here. The Queens and Kings get a two-page spread, including a list of goals, means, and characteristics for adventure, which is… actually a lot more helpful than the “here’s a lengthy description of stuff that’s apparent from the rules” flavour text.

      (Dammit, Zak, get something drastically wrong so this review’s actually got something worthwhile to say! At this rate I’m going to have to say the book’s GOOD or something, or else I’ll be reduced to blathering on about how the illustrations get on my wick – and they’re still not as actively repulsive as the stuff from LotFP itself.)

      As is usual for LotFP products and for visions derived from Realms of Chaos, there is a HUGE set of rules for summoning randomly-generated eldritch abominations, chiefly composed of endless random tables on which you’re advised to pre-generate something horrible in advance (always stay one summon ahead). It feels impractical, burdensome, and at odds with the Zakkarian insistence upon flow and ease of reference, but it does at least ensure a suitably jumbled-up horror. I feel that a trick has been missed here; if you’re going to borrow the four-factions-of-demon thing from Warhammer (oh, I see what you did there, squire) then I think having a sort of semi-consistent demonic footsoldier for each (a kind of panic-button summoning, in essence) wouldn’t kill anyone.

      I hate to say it, but I’m actually laughing at some of the jokes in this section. The Insufferable and Crashing Boars raised a chuckle in particular, modelled as I suspect they are on typical internet commentators. It’s nothing overly sophisticated, this, but it’ll get a snort out of most tabletop dwellers and it adds a touch of character to the random encounter tables. While disinclined to make my players fight a bear just because they’re travelling and something dangerous is ‘supposed to happen’, the prospect of a herd of bickering pigs all insistent on telling you the most interesting thing that happened to them last week is entertaining enough (the first time) to make me consider it. Insert usual complaint about the lack of a Pig Anecdote table, though.

      Ends on rules for inconveniently vampirised PCs and a suitably pedantic ritual of reversal.

      So far, I don’t dislike this. Zak himself may be found arrogant, aggressive and more than a little pretentious, and may be due a certain degree of mockery for his follies, but the man himself might have to be separated from his works.

      • December 13, 2014 8:36 am

        That’s fine and all, but what the community really needs to know is if there’s a transgender on the cover?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 13, 2014 8:42 am

        And are there rules for moving goalposts?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 13, 2014 8:54 am

        “but the man himself might have to be separated from his works head.”
        Fixed that for you.
        OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

      • December 13, 2014 8:49 pm

        @YDIS: as if you can tell in a Sabbath painting. There are some guesses I’m just not qualified to make.

        @FOTU – topography in Voivodja is constantly shifting. An ill-advised spell could see one flung to some far-off part of the One Castle. There is also a suggested campaign hook in which the Red Queen sends adventurers to locate lost croquet hoops, which frequently end up in implausible places. Is she doing it on purpose, knowing that she cannot refuse the demands of any who defeat her at the game? Basically: neither post nor pitch itself remains unshifted. It’s probably your fault for not being able to read or criticise properly.

    • Kent permalink
      December 13, 2014 4:05 pm

      That’s a well written review.

      Here’s the thing. When it was first announced that Zak was writing it I said to myself, ‘this guy doesn’t read, he won’t be able to do it.’ What you’ve described has nothing to do with Alice In Wonderland. It’s Aging Whores Dressed as Schoolgirls make pretend they can fight like men (‘cos it’s fantasy you dig) in a standard D&D setting with the half-wit Raggi-Argento horror aesthetic.

      In what way does the setting have anything to do with the surreal dreamscape fairyland devised for a charming little girl?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 13, 2014 5:24 pm

      • December 13, 2014 8:56 pm

        Kent: fair question and I’ll answer it while I’m talking about maps/dungeons, which is where it becomes more apparent. I have other things to do this weekend, but I’ll get to it. It’d be too easy to say ‘nothing’, and inaccurate to say more when I haven’t finished reading it yet.

  101. Kent permalink
    December 13, 2014 3:19 pm

    Brad Pitt’s Fury might be the dumbest movie Ive seen. Are american film-makers and american audiences really that stupid? Thirty seconds to garishly linger on every point (polished cliche) that should take a split second and then, ‘cos its for americans, a further thirty seconds of execrable dialogue explaining the shit you’ve just seen smeared out in all its womanish emotion. Americans really are the dumbest fucks on the planet.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 13, 2014 5:19 pm

    • Kent permalink
      December 13, 2014 5:42 pm

      You two are so alike, forty and fourteen both going on twelve years of age.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      December 13, 2014 6:19 pm

      I just finished watching Luther. It’s BBC. It’s moronic, melodramatic and simplistic bullshit, utter penny dreadful garbage save for Idris Elba’s performance.

    • Kent permalink
      December 13, 2014 6:35 pm

      The BBC has been shit since the 1980s when they began catering for women and children (stupid adults?). The top brass in the BBC is rife with women, so what they produce is simpering and preachy.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        December 14, 2014 6:10 am

        Broadchurch is pretty damn good, though.

    • Kent's Rectum permalink
      December 14, 2014 10:09 am

      NBC has been shit since they dropped Amen and 227.

  102. Kent permalink
    December 13, 2014 5:45 pm

    The Thin Man 1934 on bluray is a great movie. William Powell drinks and entertains adults. A lost art.

  103. Kent permalink
    December 13, 2014 7:16 pm

    The Man, The Funny Man, The Holy Funny Man

    Bill Bird

  104. i don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
    December 13, 2014 7:25 pm

    So, Von, what makes this worth $15? A new class that you’d end up tweaking anyway and some veiled warhammer demons? I like your review but I’d like to hear more on why you think it’s worth $15.

    • Kent permalink
      December 13, 2014 8:19 pm

      Well, if the $15 are your concern, FotU will give you three of his used red silk panties for $5 apiece so you can adjust your weekly budget.

      • i don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
        December 13, 2014 9:31 pm

        That’d be more profitable than pimping you out I suppose. Irish twink just doesn’t sell anymore.

      • Kent permalink
        December 13, 2014 9:54 pm

        Why dont you get a better job and improve on your current three used panty salary you fucking cheapskate.

      • December 13, 2014 10:37 pm

        Wait, is that what he’s paying you or what you’re paying him, or is that just the Irish price for Red and Pleasant Land? Don’t tell me – Ireland’s been thrown out of the eurozone and had to resort to undergarment barter as a crude replacement currency.

      • Kent permalink
        December 14, 2014 1:47 am

        Just stick with your review, outside of that you come across as a daft cunt desperate to make friends with the bad boys who despise you.

      • i don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
        December 14, 2014 2:19 am

        I’m a beautiful and normal man, Kent. I don’t need a job. Cunt. Fag. Ha. Ha. Ha. I had my fun. etc etc

      • December 14, 2014 7:11 am

        You cockshafts despise me? That’s news. I thought I barely registered as diarrhea on the Turdburgleometer, compared to evil jagged shites like Pundit – and the only thing I’m desperate for right now is a cuppa. Two sugars, and if you’re very good I’ll let you keep the teabag – I know you’ve got to eat.

      • December 14, 2014 7:20 am

        “You cockshafts despise me?”

        No, Kent’s projecting again.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 14, 2014 9:33 am

        Proof or you’re a liar, Kent!

        I like you, Von. We like pretty much anyone who isn’t Kent or Mjollnir.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 14, 2014 9:57 am

        For the record, a couple of months ago, Kent balked at the idea of paying ten bucks for Deep Carbon Doom and was cadging a free PDF.

        Intellectual consistency and something something…

      • Kent permalink
        December 14, 2014 11:02 am

        I’ll pay $100 for a gaming supplement if I know its good (and have several times) but I won’t pay a penny for anything sight unseen because I don’t reward shitty work that I throw away, particularly as gaming material should be free for moral reasons.

        So to spell it out for you because you are not bright, the only valid question is ‘is this good?’ not ‘is it worth $x ?’

      • December 14, 2014 2:20 pm

        Honestly? That’s fair. I generally take a slightly different tack, especially for material I intend to review. There’s an argument concerning reviewer integrity which is generally resolved by saying “How do you know I’ve not been paid off? I paid cash money for this and now you don’t have to/so should you” (delete as applicable).

        In ref. ‘gaming material should be free’ – I remember your dialogue with Carcosa McKinney to that effect. There is a cost of labour involved in rendering this crap presentable. Rattling off a review in a couple of hours is one thing, spending a week compiling and typing up my campaign notes and articulating the rules of thumb by which they’re devised AND making sure there’s some indication of an underlying process which can be imitated by others is another. I suppose that’s a great failing of Red and Pleasant Land and its ilk – it doesn’t show its working. It’s a fait accompli, a ‘special people make these books’ book rather than a ‘here’s how you do something at least as good as this’ book.

    • December 13, 2014 9:05 pm

      Another good question which I’ll answer when I’m through. The bulk of the material is in the monsters section (four flavours of vampire) and the two dungeons, and I needed a bright new day to dawn before I could handle a Zak dungeon map.

    • December 13, 2014 10:35 pm

      I will add one thing: I don’t think you (as in Insert Potential Purchaser Here) will necessarily end up tweaking the Alice, it’s just that the possibilities of extending the Alice beyond thief-a-like immediately sprang to mind. I obsessively tinker with character classes as the mechanics and options for player characters are – I feel – a primary vector for players’ experience of the game’s themes/style/tone etc, certainly more so than universe-operating mechanics which they may never see. Others may be happy to use things as they are, in which case they’ll find the Alice entirely functional as is.

      (And don’t worry, YDIS, my lovely, I’ll scrape all this together into a single coherent-ish review when we’re done. The devil’s in the discourse anyway.)

  105. Kent permalink
    December 13, 2014 8:40 pm

    Am I the only one who thinks Scott’s brain has dwindled into a sort of cold porridge with cigarette butts in it? That is, he comes here when he feels he will fit right in, unnoticed, like snot on a sort of cold porridge with cigarette butts in it?

    If you disagree then quote or link to something Scott has said in the last two years.

    • Jack permalink
      December 14, 2014 5:44 am

      Who would win in a fight: Scottthelawyer or Joethelawyer?

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 14, 2014 6:08 am

        My money is on the tatted-up West Virginia heathen over the dumpy, donut-chugging NYC lardass.

      • Jack permalink
        December 14, 2014 6:10 am

        Yeah, but Scott might quit halfway through. It’s his MO.

      • December 14, 2014 8:06 am

        It would be short either way. From what we know of the kind of thelawyer Scott can do it’s his fight to lose. Now I’m imagining a failed Law & Order spinout with Joe and Tenkar combining their detective skills to bring down Kickstarter grifters.

      • Scott permalink
        December 16, 2014 10:46 am

        I don’t remember who Joethelawyer is, but I googled him and saw that about halfway down the first page of his blog is a pic of Uhura from Star Trek with the caption “Drow Lich(ess)?” That’d normally make me think DF or K&KA, but he also seems to be VERY into the OSR thing, which generally makes those guys harrumph into their craft beers. Seems maybe a little tone-deaf but nothing crazy other than that. Is there a thing that happened that I should remember?

        I’m not beating any OSR guys in a fight. I don’t even OWN a flail or katana.

        Kent, I’ll try to review that book when I get a chance, but as Jack (and everyone else) is aware, I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for follow-through.

        Tay >>>>> Ariana

      • Scott permalink
        December 16, 2014 10:49 am

        Oh! And I got to meet Kevin Sullivan and Shane “The Franchise” Douglas this weekend, which was pretty cool

      • Kent permalink
        December 16, 2014 5:26 pm

        Tao thoughts on D&D are worthless to me and Ive kinda lost interest on what attracted you there, but Im pretty sure others will check out your analysis.

      • Scott permalink
        December 16, 2014 9:34 pm

        “Ive kinda”

        Are we sure this is Kent??

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 14, 2014 10:08 am

      Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, you really need to stop stalking Scott. If he wants to answer your question, he will do so on his own time.

      When it comes to poor Scott, you come one like a one man gay cyclops gangbang, and and that’s not fair to our Appalachian amigo. Simmer down, stewpot!

    • Kent permalink
      December 14, 2014 11:03 am

      Scott knows Im kidding.

      • December 14, 2014 11:37 am

        Scott’s not reading this- he’s off getting tattoos, or tugging it to an Ariana Grande video, or taking pictures of a fly ash containment pit that’s about to collapse onto a trailer park full of inbred yokels. That’s the point, buachail, you need to give the man space.

        If he truly loves you, he’ll come to you (and on you) on his own, no need to try to force the issue.

      • Scott permalink
        December 16, 2014 9:36 pm

        “Im kidding”

        Several of these latest posts display an uncharacteristic lack of precision

  106. PrinceofNothing permalink
    December 14, 2014 5:47 am

    Been following the Online Shite debate, and i am pleased to announce Zak has entered the fray and has started wailing into Grimmy Jim. Anyone want to bring up that ‘assholes’ quote, now is the time.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 14, 2014 5:55 am

      Incidentally, Zak’s all rage and no form, like an Angry Luke Skywalker at the end of Return of the Jedi, just wailing into poor Grim and hoping his sense of self-righteousness will carry the day when logic or integrity clearly will not(It’s all a deep end there). Points if you can get Pundit to leave his tent near the ships, don his well-made bronze and enter the fray on a pillar of smoke alongside Grim Jim, his hat like fire.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 14, 2014 6:07 am

      That’s right, the Attack is back, bitches! Using his women as a shield for his trolling!

      This is where he gets going, and of course the thread gets shut own after a few more pages:

      http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=31183&page=65

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 14, 2014 9:54 am

        The “women” Zak knows have basically chosen to live their lives as cum rags, which I’m fairly certain most women do not choose to do.

      • December 14, 2014 10:10 am

        Cum Rag: The Facialing

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 14, 2014 12:37 pm

        It’s about ethics in hard core anal sex videos.

      • December 14, 2014 2:18 pm

        #notallcumrags

    • Jack permalink
      December 14, 2014 6:08 am

      The thing is: I actually can’t blame Zak for not engaging with the fuckers in that thread with spelled-out arguments and whatnot. The dudes posting in that thread at the shittiest Shitlords of a site filled with Shitlords. The Creme de le Crap, if you will.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 14, 2014 8:41 am

        I hear you, Jack, but isn’t Zak doing his standard issue bullshit here? Using his minor sampling of women (all of whom he states are really smart but their own words – like Mandy’s high-school drama “Everybody hatez me” post- undercut that) as a stand-in for the opinions of all women. I am glad he got called on it for a change – but then he does his standard goal-post shifting and calling everyone else liars.

        I don’t know those posters like you do, so I’ll accept your judgement that they blow, but this is paint-by-numbers Zak. Or am I missing something? (Asked in sincerity, I don’t believe my dislike for him colors my perception of his words in this thread, but it is of course possible.)

      • Jack permalink
        December 14, 2014 1:47 pm

        Possibly. I didn’t read that thread with much concentration, to be honest.

        I do think those guys are suck, though. So if he was calling those guys liars, well, they probably are. We could chalk that up to a stopped clock being right twice a day.

      • Aos permalink
        December 15, 2014 9:38 pm

        Nobody is under any obligation to argue in good faith at TRPS, not even Zak. Shilling and trolling are the shites only uses.

    • December 14, 2014 6:11 am

      I decided to go with a PM. Admittedly less entertaining, but we’ll see if anything happens.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 14, 2014 6:28 am

        A little bit off your timing was. Another chance we will have. Only begun the Zakwar has.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 14, 2014 8:43 am

        Cool, butcher. If he accuses you of being among his limitless enemies, please post the screed.

      • December 17, 2014 3:01 pm

        Oh noes Pundit’s on to us, the fiendishly clever rat.

        Here’s his response:

        “Hmm. Its pretty sad to know that you can hang out with a bunch of guys who say “tranny” and “spic” and yet you think I’m the bad guy. I mean, bad enough you think me stupid enough to fall for this… but you do realize when they say “Spic”, they mean YOU, right?”

        Well, it was worth a shot.

        You guys are doing a great job on the Everyjoe page, though. The comments section is a great read right now. Someone could elaborate on the plagiarism thing, though, for the benefit of the average non-gaming Everyjoe reader (that a thing?).

      • December 17, 2014 8:04 pm

        He’s removed at least two comments that reference John Tarnowski. M’lady has thin skin!

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 18, 2014 5:08 am

        Did we ever say Spic? I mean im pretty sure we use ‘tranny’ all the time but its kind of hard to keep track what with our agenda to destroy Dnd and make the world safe for Storygames and all. Does anyone know how we can contact the Story-game conspiracy to destroy DnD so we can send an emmisary to forge an alliance? We can offer them Kent and maybe a positive review of Sorceror.

      • justme permalink
        December 18, 2014 6:17 am

        WTF it’s spelled Spic not Spick. I really f’n hate bigots and racists that can’t spell and puds that try to bank on other people being bigots and racists by pretending to be better.

  107. December 14, 2014 7:43 am

    All right, more Red and Pleasant Land. Two dungeons: the castles of the Red Queen and King.

    First, my pettiest and most minor gripe must be gotten out of the way – Zak’s bloody maps. I’ve never liked them, I’ve never been able to follow them particularly well, but at least this time he’s actually drawing rooms rather than making a collage of things that are sort of like the thing that’s there. That concept-mapping stuff is doubtless brilliant if you’re an art student but I’m a visual illiterate and often I just want to know if the cheesery is upstairs or downstairs from the throne room.

    Maps are always awkward for me – the two-dimensional representation of three-dimensional spaces in a style that’s actually useful for navigation isn’t easy. Mapping in Voivodja – where, for instance, there’s a right-angle straight up as gravity begins to misbehave dramatically for a goodly third of the castle’s internal architecture – is supposed to be a fool’s errand anyway. I think Zak’s Plasticine Escher efforts are a fine demonstration of that folly, but they are also dense, crowded, and not especially easy on the eye.

    I think this is the problem I have with Zak’s art as it appears in his RPG products, actually – it’s supposed to confront and unsettle. That’s fine in a gallery exhibit, but ease and flow and visual comfort are slightly more important in something that’s meant to illustrate what something looks like or how a space fits together. Vague depictions, jagged handwriting, cramped layout and a lack of soothing white space may be economic use of the page and may suit the author’s artistic priorities, but they make the book and especially the dungeon maps awkward to work with at a glance, and I thought everything in Zakland was meant to ease flow in play. Obviously, I don’t expect everything that works for him to work for me, especially in a volume which feels more and more like Zak’s Dwimmermount; a bunch of his campaign notes, typed up and shuffled into something to use or inspire – but it is something which might affect the usability of the volume for people who don’t have an MFA.

    Anyway, dungeons. Both are written up without the tedious block of prose – just bullet points indicating what’s actually important, and a general passage at the beginning to set up what kind of castle they are, what you might reasonably expect to find on an ad-hoc basis. So far, so not TSR.

    The Red Queen one – Castle Cachtice – is mostly of note for its constantly reshuffling/extending/collapsing architecture, its gravitational fuckery, and the denizens treading out their rather frustrated little lives as though it’s all perfectly normal. Gravity becomes a creativity/solution toy for some of the more conventionally dungeon-ish environments further up/across (much like shrinking or growing is necessary for Alice to move around the original Wonderland). Also for the plethora of impaled virgins in increasingly elaborate dioramas of impalement as one proceeds upwards-and-sideways through the Castle. It wouldn’t be a LotFP book if you couldn’t take a shot every time virgins are mentioned.

    (Apropos of nothing, if I read one more passage about how the furnishings are worth twice their weight in gold I’m going to shank someone. It’s just maddeningly unhelpful.)

    Castle Poenari, the Red King’s palace, is more conventionally dungeon-ish and more Dracula-ish. As our author notes, it could be played as a straight-up, albeit frustrating, dungeon crawl, with additional funny-voices-and-intrigue roleplaying introduced via the intrigues of the Red Brides. All well and good.

    That’s pretty much how I feel about the Red King’s palace. Evil vampire duplicates of the PCs, three NPCs with mutually contradictory agendas and reasons to inveigle adventurers, objects which somehow realign the texture of a final encounter… there’s nothing here that we weren’t doing the first time we designed an adventure.

    The chief distinction is that the outwardly normal-looking near-deserted castle (full of little torture chamber vignettes, some of which have knock-on effects on others) unfolds into a sort of disconnected internal architecture, built around a single puzzle room, which is where all the interesting shit is. Said interesting shit is laid out on another Zak map, distinct from that of the conventional castle, which, credit where it’s due, is easier to make sense out of than the last one. This may be because he’s not trying to cram everything onto one page and accurately represent the spatial relationships and make something that’s useful for a DM who’s not him. Likewiese, the illustration and the verbal ‘if you’re having trouble with this’ notes for the inside-out puzzle room are actually helpful, in a kind of “OK, I did read that right” sense. The notes on the golem room cover a range of things that players are likely to try and do, or do by accident, in a room where there are things mimicking and duplicating their actions, and this can be played for advantage or disadvantage by canny players, and there’s potentially a risk of being unfair or inconsistent as a referee, and it’s all staked out pretty clearly. This whole dungeon feels less… showy… than the Red Queen’s one – this is the dungeon where Zak tries to help us out rather than blow our minds.

    If you’re now thinking that the dungeon with the most interesting architecture could stand to be the one where there’s less other nonsense going on to detract from that, while the dungeon with the most interesting social dynamics should be the one where those dynamics aren’t obscured by the practicalities of getting around, congratulations, you think like me. It seems like the Red Queen’s dungeon is a bit overloaded with all the fancy shit, and the Red King’s is there for the hard of thinking.

    After that there’s a clutch of sample locations – two-page maps ranging from the adequate to the inconvenient (the Garden location is either supposed to be a series of free-floating objects in space or it’s one of those conceptual-space maps where only the important stuff is shown, and the Interior one is basically Zak’s Escher fanart with some notes stuck on it).

    Some decent house rules for nobility, duelling and military command (which, correct me if I’m wrong, appear in the Original Game but not in LotFP, and which are actually quite sensible and player-focused rather than ghastly wargamerese); one new spell; and a clutch of tables and resources, the character of which will be familiar to anyone who knows jack-all about Vornheim, the Porno blog, or dropping dice on a Kindle and weeping. Sample tables include origin stories for native Voivodjans (fifth edition has clearly rubbed off on Zak, not just vice versa); Wonderland oddities of the [Verb] Me variety; arbitrary taxes, background events, and idiotic conversation starters for those who don’t have a wealth of D&D blogs bookmarked. Roll or drop dice to generate weirdness/adventures/bullshit if you can’t think of any yourself. If you’re particularly brainless you could probably create a whole vapid, time-filling session out of all this.

    Some player handouts – a copy of the bullshit chess puzzle from the Red King dungeon and a fragmentary Zak map extensively defiled through Photoshop or asswipery to look even more incomprehensible than usual. Aaand that’s your lot.

    Red and Pleasant Land is not bad. It’s not even not good. It’s pretty decent. It’s a better-than-average setting book, about as good as the Apocrypha for WFRP. If LotFP had been my first RPG and this had been my first setting book I’d a) be deeply fucked up and b) feel like I’d had a decent enough grounding in how these things are meant to work. It does a more clear and more engaging job of ‘vampire-themed RPG with politics and weirdness’ than anything White Wolf have spewed up in the last ten years and, despite some overlap in territory, it’s not the blatant reskinning of Ravenloft that has surely been brewing in some shuntbucket’s grubby little mind.

    What Red and Pleasant Land is also not is a life-changing revelation.

    I don’t feel like a complete idiot for having bought it – a few bits have inspired me, a few rooms in the dungeons have raised an eyebrow, a few jokes have made me titter. (For anyone who’s counting, I’m interested in the find-a-croquet-hoop-in-some-horrible-far-flung-place hook, the vampires-come-through-mirrors-and-abduct-fresh-blood-for-their-grand-guignol-Wonderland hook and the Red King’s dungeon run as-is, ’cause I have a player who loves the American McGee games and she’ll be all over this stuff.)

    I do feel like I’m not sure what all the fuss is about. While there are specific things in here of which I might not have thought, I don’t feel that any of it’s better than what any other halfway decent and experienced DM, might have come up with given the same source material and time to think.

    As for the source material – Kent asked me and I’m sure he’s been waiting patiently to hear the answer – there’s a few ways of looking at this. Kent, I’d like you to follow your own advice from your own blog. Think about Alice in Wonderland. Identify a couple of incidents. Break them down into what actually happens and build them up in the style of another author. You won’t have read Mieville, he started after 1980, so try Peake.

    That seems to be how Zak has started to go about this. The superficial features of Wonderland are there. Cheshire Cat? Check. Queen of Hearts? Check. Chessboard landscape? Check. The structure of Wonderland is there. Arbitrary and pointless behaviour/advice/conventions? Check. Surreality achieved through distortions of time, distance and relationships between objects? Check. A disconnection with the outside world, to which we can return when the pretence of structure collapses entirely (in Zakderland, slaying the Jabberwock seems to be one way to do this, or to start doing it). Checkity check check. Wonderland is reduced to its elements, the things that make it distinct from stock Eurofantasy, and those elements are reassembled into something which is more open to player intervention, more blood-all-over-the-place in its aesthetics, and that bloody steak is extended/muddled/tainted (delete as applicable) with the baked potato of Transylvanian vampire goings-on and the crunchy but barely there side salad of namedropped Arthuriana.

    You asked what it has to do with the charming world devised for the little Alice Liddell and there, I’m afraid, we have a problem. It’s not charming and it’s not for little girls. It’s for people who don’t snort with contempt when they hear the title ‘Death Frost Doom’. You like Iron Maiden so I think you’ll understand the appeal of doing a heavy metal song about The Phantom of the Opera – it’s not an adaptation of the novel, it’s not even a retelling of the novel, but it is in some way about the novel, or about a reaction to it. I think that’s basically what’s happened here. I couldn’t possibly say whether or not Zak has only encountered or only thinks about Alice as a source of plunder or booty for purposes ludic or artistic, but – look, as far as I can tell, this is less about Carroll’s Wonderland than it is about wanting Carroll’s Wonderland to be more Metal.

    In sum: valuable for the inexperienced, if any of them are coming direct to LotFP-land, though how that might happen I’ve no idea. Unnecessary for anyone with significant DM experience, though worth an idle punt. Possibly best read with an eye to seeing how Zak has dismantled and rebuilt Wonderland. Definitely about a tenth as good as Zak thinks it is.

    Three out of five Bohemian ear-spoons and a tall glass of virgins’ juices.

    • kingofalltherotten permalink
      December 14, 2014 9:00 am

      That was a decent review. I think the zakster’s got two big problems:

      1) He comes across in every online conversation anywhere as a crazy egomaniac that cannot see any point of view but his own as valid, which is sad on many levels, especially probably in his personal life as he seems to need to lash out and demean others, belittling and being dismissive even to those who (for some reason) promote is day-to-day antics and tantrums. He does have talent and he can produce decent material, he just needs to get over himself. The pouty, angsty 8-year-old attitude is worn and tired.

      2) His art. It’s Brooklyn gallery, shared with a tattoo studio, I could see his work on the walls. As fantasy rpg art it is atrocious and, as the Gentle Reviewer mentioned, doesn’t flow well. Try another style, obviously that art schooling didn’t sink in at all as he has no eye for art complimenting it’s surroundings and particular media, it feels contrary and forced upon us. A true illustrator is rendering to flow with the words, his art seems to be about his art being seen and shows no particular versatility or ability to adapt.

  108. Kent permalink
    December 14, 2014 11:33 am

    “Kent, I’d like you to follow your own advice from your own blog.”

    You mean this, http://somekingskent.blogspot.ie/2012/07/scenario-writing-as-passive-engagement.html?

    I can only assume you misremembered what you read. I am not describing a mashup there which is what D&D is effortlessly in its natural state, and how Zak’s Alice comes across in your review. What Im describing in the post is harder than providing a game setting for an author’s world and it is an exercise that would prove both appreciation of and control over the style and mood of two widely read authors.

    What Im saying here in reaction to your review is that I knew that Zak would not be capable of reducing Alice’s Wonderland to a setting which could be criticised in relation to Lewis Carroll’s books. I knew this because Zak doesn’t read books. He has produced a standard D&D mashup but has promoted it as an Alice in Wonderland setting and no-one seems to have noticed that it is just, as I said, “Aging Whores Dressed as Schoolgirls make pretend they can fight like men (‘cos it’s fantasy you dig) in a standard D&D setting with the half-wit Raggi-Argento horror aesthetic.”

    If someone pitches a movie to an executive, “Think, Apocalypse Now with Vampires instead of Montagnards”, you can deduce two things: the idiot could never make a decent war film and the idiot could never make a decent vampire film.

    • December 14, 2014 2:07 pm

      What I’m trying to get across is that -aspects- of Red and Pleasant Land feel like he’s -tried- to rewrite Wonderland as though it were written by the author of Perdido Street Station. It’s not an entirely successful exercise, and I think it’s because of the lack of focus in input. Carroll’s Wonderland is there but so is Burton’s, so is Coppola’s Dracula, so is a pinch of some variant Arthuriana that I can’t quite ascribe to a media source off the top of my head. When a mashup looks in, no apostle looks out. The result is a little Wonderland-by-numbers.

      I gather that you think the majority of the film industry composed of idiots. I haven’t the heart to disagree with you – High Concept is the proverbial tail-scoffing worm.

      I also recall having some difficulty understanding how your exercise was meant to lead to the production of gameables, if it was. I think trying to express one’s ideas through the medium of D&D is going to lead to a certain amount of standardisation. I’ve read some of your play-by-play threads on the forums (stalkaaaaah, I know) and there was a notable shift from your imitation-Eddison descriptions of locales to a rather more commonplace dialogue. Once roleplayers are involved the craftsmanship of language that’s promoted by your exercise surely begins to evaporate? After all, nobody is there to listen to you impersonate Eddison, Zak impersonate Mieville, or me impersonate Kostova – what emerges in play is a kind of composite discourse.

      Of course, if the depiction of environments and settings is competently crafted with some accomplishment in technique, that should have SOME impact on the discourse of play. You may not be reading the block of dense prose aloud but the style in which the game notes are prepared will affect what you say. Cast pearls before Swine and their shit will be shinier.

      In that case it’s possible that Zak’s rather terse and mechanical descriptions of his environments mean they fail to follow through on the promising style in which his world is described in toto. Voivodja sounds fascinating if you’re just skimming the introduction but by the time you’re grappling with the details of how things work, we’re back to fairly standard D&D fare with the odd line of ‘and then something strange happens’ – which is my way of saying I think you’re right. It is, however, quite a /good/ standard D&D mashup, as these things go.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 14, 2014 3:25 pm

        I admit to being a little disapointed that your review of Zak’s RaPeLand isn’t totally negative, but honestly, I enjoyed reading your take on it, Von.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 14, 2014 4:02 pm

        Thorough as shit, insightful at times. Where the fuck is the rampant homophobia and locker room attitude?

      • December 14, 2014 4:37 pm

        @MBB – I can’t bring myself to say something is shit when the worst that can be said’s that it’s workmanlike. That would, after all, make me a LIAR!, and probably a Pigfucker to boot. The thing is, it’s not as appalling as, say, RIFTS, about which I spent about this number of words trying to find one single good thing.

        @PoN – I am sober as I type this and that’s my excuse. I could call you all giant cockgobblers of the lowest order and invite you all to a game of wet towel tag, but you know as well as I that it’s merely a formality.

        Tell you what though, I regret the number of times I’ve used ‘shit’ or ‘shitty’ in that review. Maybe what I bring to the party is rampant scatophilia?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 14, 2014 4:54 pm

        Come for the rampant homophobia and locker room attitude, stay for the Blooey.

  109. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 14, 2014 7:30 pm

    Good job, Von. You’ve been around awhile to chime in with the odd jape or jab now and again, but in long form you’re pretty damn good. I don’t come here to personally flex my smarts or lack thereof, but you and Prince with his review give proof to that auld chestnut about forums and blogs being where idiots go to try and sound smart, and this place right here being smarty pants pretending to be louts or galoots or whatever British dipshit description Kunt might have for us.

    I’m giving Prince’s review 6 pipe smoke-induced cancers out of 6, and your review 5 weak and dribbly Zak cumshots on Mandy’s belly out of 6. Good times!

    By the way, workmanlike publishing or not, Zak’s Alice in Wonderland BS sounds like really horrible gaming to me. Croquet based missions? Shrinkage as a norm? Presto-chango landscapes and architecture to the point of obvious overload? Gameplay that almost seems aimed at giving little girl players nightmares, mental problems, and eating disorders, but would give any halfway normal adult male gamers a serious case of “are you kidding me with this shit?”

    “outside of that you come across as a daft cunt desperate to make friends with the bad boys who despise you.” – very definition of a stupid cunt projecting his own loser lot in life. For Kunt’s contribution to this thead I give 2 jizz, urine, and fecal matter stained Polyhedron Games LLC shower curtains out of 6.

    • Kent permalink
      December 14, 2014 8:11 pm

      “I don’t come here to personally flex my smarts or lack thereof –– sniff sniff.”

      HAA HAA HAA !! HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!

    • December 15, 2014 12:47 am

      Well, thank you. I’m OK with being a lout, a galoot, or indeed a daft cunt if it means I don’t have to deal with the petty tyrants who reign over (almost) all forums and a not insignificant number of blogs. I think tuning out the trash talk, gay jokes, fascists, and this strange omnipresent noise like Dylan Moran having a seizure is a survival skill for anyone who’s ever been involved with nerds in general and wargamers in particular, and as a result this place feels weirdly more homey than an environment which doesn’t have that. I don’t want any of Zak’s glutinous leavings, not particularly (although I did buy RaPL, arf arf), but the sentiment’s appreciated.

      The thing with the croquet hoop is that it’s no more arbitrary than a lot of shit that goes on in gaming. “Go chuck this ring into a volcano to end all evil in the world” is just as arbitrary as “go find this croquet hoop and I’ll send you home” – which is admittedly more Oz than Wonderland but it seemed like a way of engaging with Voivodja. It’s still a long trek for the sake of something inconsequential that has undue consequences, it’s just… sillier.

      Shrinkage, teleportation traps and puzzle crap are the essence of old-school dungeoneering though, right? Like, if you look at the sample materials in the OD&D, it’s kinda similar in terms of arbitrary crap, although I got the impression that was a showcase for the sorts of things you can do and that they should be spread out over a whole dungeon… which might be the fallacy here. I don’t disagree – the Red Queen’s castle would drive me crackers as a dungeon although as a weird environment for social roleplaying it might (emphasis might) be OK, and it does tuck its ‘dungeon’ bit off in a part of itself where the rules of space are more apparent… I’d give it a shot anyway. It might be ghastly. I might find it ghastly were I to encounter it as a player. I suppose I won’t know unless I do an actual playtest review at some point.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 15, 2014 6:29 am

        I am glad you are more front and center now, than when you used to slip in a few funny comments to an old post a week after the new one went up.

        Face it, Von, you’re one of us now. Your Clop kit and Blooey Coloring Book are on the way. You’ll have to spring for VAT, etc. I think there is also a new Limey Tax, sorry.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 15, 2014 7:28 am

        Whoa… I thought the Blooey Coloring Book was the Clop Kit!

        Eat pee clop clean rinse repeat

      • bloodymage permalink
        December 15, 2014 8:07 am

        http://i1.cpcache.com/product/674168947/beldany_shower_curtain.jpg?color=White

        After much effort, handwriting and puzzling things out, plus the usual blood, sweat and tears, Polyhedron Games LLC is proud to announce its first print-on-demand product and the first gazetteer in the Ertian Chronicles, “Beldany: The Fey Kingdom.” From the back cover:

        “Beldany: The Fey Kingdom, called Narilio by the elves, is the first gazetteer in the Ertian Chronicles series. Within are sections on its principle attributes such as ruler, religion, population and resources and sections on geography broken down into mountains and hills, woodlands and wetlands, lakes and rivers; history, current events, personalities, order of precedence, order of battle, cities and settlements, known humanoid settlements and known fey settlements. The next gazeteer will be available soon and covers the necromatic sultanate of Quirtoy and the horse clans of Edda.”

      • December 15, 2014 8:11 am

        Accident of timing. I keep forgetting this place exists for weeks at a time. It’s all that actual gameplay, you know? Distracts a fellow.

        Can I return the Clop Kit and write it off against tax? I’m a tolerant fellow but broniedom is a step too far even for me.

        As for bloodymage… your fey knobbery is next.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 15, 2014 8:53 am

        You can’t return the Clop Kit, but you can repurpose as a wargame: Cloplomancy or Clophammer, if you will. You’ll have to do some balancing, or you’ll end up with Naked Pony Syndrome, which brings us back to the subject of clopping.

      • Scott permalink
        December 16, 2014 10:58 am

        Von, I just looked at your blog. I didn’t know you played Magic.

      • December 18, 2014 10:37 pm

        I drifted through its orbit for a few years thanks to a friendly crowd who played and Return to Ravnica being halfway interesting. I’ve barely touched it since that block went out of Standard use, though.

  110. Kent permalink
    December 14, 2014 8:05 pm

    Ive just watched Bill Burr’s special on netflix – Im sorry you feel that way.

    I love the way he talks about women, heh heh.

    Ha ha ha !!

    HAA HAA HAA !! HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!

  111. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 14, 2014 8:44 pm

    Hahahahah it’s about 3AM or so where you live and you are still up cause you got no job and are a loser with no life Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

  112. Kent permalink
    December 14, 2014 8:50 pm

    5AM

    HAA HAA HAA !! HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!HAA HAA HAA !!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 15, 2014 7:23 am

      The mirthless laughter of the damned…

  113. Kent permalink
    December 15, 2014 11:06 am

    YDIS:– “This place would suck if it wasn’t for your presence here. Thank you kent. I think about you always, I admire you and I try to be more like you in a pale imitation sort of way. God be with you if you don’t mind him.”

    You’re damn right and don’t you forget it fishface.

    • December 15, 2014 12:16 pm

      Kent: “I’m beginning to regret insulting the only ally I have left among these retarded gamersnipes, the only only audience remaining for my urinous proclamations. How does a man apologise without looking like a filly? I couldn’t face myself in the mirror if I saw womanhood looking back.”

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 15, 2014 12:29 pm

        Forget it, Von, it’s Kuntotown.

      • December 15, 2014 12:32 pm

        I’m having my fun and that’s all that matters.

    • Kent permalink
      December 15, 2014 1:47 pm

      I don’t go in much for ‘allies’ but sidekicks are alright.

  114. Kent permalink
    December 15, 2014 11:10 am

    I have to say this about D&D that I never get too old to be inspired by and adopt the fresh inventions in mapping technique of my fellow gamers.

    http://odd74.proboards.com/thread/10572/christmas-2014-boot-looking-players

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 15, 2014 11:23 am

      So have you seen Interstellar yet or what? Don’t leave us hanging in suspense.

      • Kent permalink
        December 15, 2014 11:35 am

        I have been roped into going to see the Hobbit this week for the benefit of nephew et al and I can’t bring myself to go to the cinema twice in one week so it’ll have to be next week.

        I hated jackson’s LotR and think his Hobbit is worse but xmas is a time for grinding one’s teeth, holding one’s tongue and smiling (though there is at least whiskey for the purpose of smiling).

    • December 15, 2014 12:16 pm

      And yet it’s still better than most of Zak’s.

  115. Kent permalink
    December 15, 2014 11:37 am

    I never know what Zak and Raggi are up to on g+. Does someone want to bestow a username and password for general ydis use for spying and so forth?

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 15, 2014 12:35 pm

      If it means that much to you, grow a pair and make your own profile. You have a reputation as a shit-stirrer, why balk at living up to it?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 15, 2014 12:41 pm

        If you were half the clever boy you fancy yourself to be, you would set up a profile as “John Tarnowski”. Play the Erisian role you yearn to play… Kallisti, motherfuckers!

  116. Kent permalink
    December 15, 2014 1:39 pm

    Scott said to tell you that because *piratebay* has been taken down he has set up a torrent site at:

    https://oldpiratebay.org/

  117. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 15, 2014 2:05 pm

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=42&t=68678&p=1586590#p1586590

    Yo, Kuntwellington, Blooeymage needs proofreaders. Instead of being a bloated blowfly buzzing around forums, why don’t you give back to the community for a change (and I don’t mean charge 15 bucks for 9 pages of game module Blooeystyle)? Give you something to do other than be, well, a cunt…

    • bloodymage permalink
      December 15, 2014 2:16 pm

      Even with my infirmities and limitations, I’m still trying to work.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 15, 2014 2:37 pm

      Don’t do it, Kunto, it’s a trap! If you work for Blooey, he’ll bill you for two grand.

  118. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 15, 2014 2:22 pm

    “Shrinkage, teleportation traps and puzzle crap are the essence of old-school dungeoneering though, right? Like, if you look at the sample materials in the OD&D, it’s kinda similar in terms of arbitrary crap”

    Von, old school Gygax/Arneson or not, that kind of shit every other room gets real old. It was usually the meat and potatoes of chuckleheaded dick DM’s with god complexes. The odd weirdo trap, effect, or puzzle is all well and good, but real men who play D&D just want to kill shit and take their treasure 90% of the time. the rest is just for Mansonesque DM’s to live out power fantasies. Carcosa or other weirdo settings can work for every kind of player if DM’d right, but the Alice crap just sounds like it would get old real fast. It’s like having several midget wrestling matches in one night, rather than once in a blue moon. Otherwise it in itself just becomes the norm and then what is the point of being “different?”

    If you are going to do dream-like adventuring where gravity fucks up and everything talks in rhyme or other nonsense, might as well break out Call of Cthulhu’s Dreamlands book and use it as a setting for your D&D. That to me would be a thousand times more interesting than a Lewis Carrol-Ravenloft mashup. And would probably play out more like a D&D game.

    Calling visitors from the “normal” world “Alice’s” strikes me as especially stupid. For the sake of grownup men who are not pre-op trannies or whores, better terms might be “Outsider” or “Outlander.” Toss a bone or two to non-retarded adults, instead of having everything be about making cum-drunk, low-end porn girls chortle on a Saturday night.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      December 15, 2014 2:45 pm

      In relation to CKDB’s first point, I’m pretty sure the OD&D books point out that the sample dungeon level and key is for example purposes of what tricks and traps might be found in an underworld, it was not a model of a game dungeon.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 15, 2014 4:18 pm

      I would like to add my voice to the hive-mind on this point, but try to sneak a little subversive counter-point in under the radar.

      If, and that is a big IF, you have the sort of rabid power-gaming quasi-autistic players that are leaping at the chance to sit at your table when you are going through a dark period and decide to run nothing but tomb of horrors and its clones for months on end(Return to the Tomb gets a pass because it is both ridiculously deadly yet scrupulously fair and also badass, sort of a greatest hits of ye olde dungeons on crack) they might really enjoy your weird ass puzzle dungeon of death(which is still on my design list). But then again, they would probably be turned off by the nonsensical Alice in Wonderland motif and artsy fartsy fluff, forcing you to break out Isle of the Ape again.

    • December 15, 2014 11:07 pm

      @CKDB/Sykirombe – I’m aware that the OD&D example is just that – a collection of example fuckeries rather than something you’re expected to play as is. I was under the impression that people liked that sort of thing, at least from the fondness with which it’s discussed. Personally I think it comes too thick and fast in Zak’s Red Queen dungeon, but with more acceptable velocity and volume in the Red King one (the crap being confined to one bottleneck room which is fairly easy to solve and one chain of bullshit puzzles which, to be fair, are the route to the King himself, so I expect a certain amount of foul deeds and fuckery along the way).

      The Alice class isn’t so much ‘outsider’ as ‘poor sod to whom adventure keeps happening whether they like it or not, but who has some capacity to roll with it despite their lack of an adventuring background’. You might as well call them the Bilbo or the Lyra. It’s not necessary but it doesn’t do any real harm by being there.

      Fair cop on the Dreamlands though.

      @PoN – interesting point; will a hardcore puzzle game loon necessarily get off on goth Alice in Wonderland? I keep bringing up the McGee games for a reason – I think there is a market for that sort of thing, in fact I’ve met and generally fancied the market for that sort of thing – but I can see how it’d be an awkward fit for a lot of groups. That I find ‘real men’s gaming’ of the eat-shit-kill-loot-pee-repeat variety fucking tedious beyond measure might be a factor in my tolerance for RaPL’s follies – but I can see how you wouldn’t want to run ALL your games there.

      Are we coming back to asking “who the fuck is this for?” It lacks sufficient real innovation to really bring that much to the jaded veterans, it’s in a niche market so I can’t see it being pitched to novices, it’s too… thematic… for people who consider ‘storygamer’ an insult and it’s still conventionally D&D enough to put some of the theatrical Swine off their troughs. Is the autistic goth powergaming puzzlefreak crowd really that big? I mean… I exist and that descriptor’s at least a 50% fit for most of my players, but how many others are out there?

  119. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    December 15, 2014 8:10 pm

    The Hobbit movies may be the Phantom Menace of Lord of the Rings, but they are still the best Dungeons and Dragons movies we’re going to get. Although Jeremy Irons chewing the scenery in the first one was pretty entertaining.

  120. Tenser's Flogging Dicks permalink
    December 15, 2014 11:35 pm

    From the Desborough Desk

    http://saveversusallwands.blogspot.com/2014/12/review-gamergate-card-game.html

    This G+roupie concedes he doesn’t understand what it’s all about — but banning it is EEEEEEVIL.

    • December 16, 2014 6:55 am

      That is either Kent-level trolling or incredibly fucking annoying. But if he’s trolling it makes me wonder whether the Pundit “character” is public domain: can anybody take it for a spin under the girdle of this kind of “satire?”

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 16, 2014 7:07 am

      That is one of the dumbest dudes I have ever read. “I am proud to remain ignorant, but here is my opinion on the subject of which I know nothing.”

      This is the money shot:

      “I’m also against the politicization of gaming–even if it’s a form of gaming I don’t like and don’t engage in. This inclines me to be pro-Gamergate.”

      Um, yeah, the biggest heoes to the GG movement are from Breitbart and the AEI – no politics there, dumbass.

      Seriously, is there anyone more stupid than this guy in the blOwSR?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 16, 2014 7:21 am

      “To summarize: Gamergate the card game appears to be a super-inside joke that satirizes both sides, though with an obvious bias towards one.” So it’s a game biased in favor of GamerGate. At least this unblown halfwit admits it.

      Fortunately, we have GOPagan to give us the FOX News “Fair and Balanced” spin:
      http://greyhawkgrognard.blogspot.com/2014/12/gamergate-card-game-has-arrived.html

      “Obviously I haven’t had a chance to play it, but on its face, having skimmed through the cards, it seems a cute little bit of sarcastic social commentary that skewers the participants on both sides of the larger Gamergate controversy.”

      So which is it?

      Thank goodness we have the blOwSR on the case to review this mediocre game significant only for the controversy it was created to generate that these two shitheads fell for hook, line and sinker.

      Meanwhile, poor Blooey can’t find a soul from the blOwSR to review his actual blOwSR products! And that my friends is the real crime here.

      • bloodymage permalink
        December 16, 2014 8:58 am

        Anyway, I could use proofreaders.

      • bad wolf permalink
        December 16, 2014 10:07 am

        I don’t know which i’m more surprised by: that they hadn’t banned a game before (seriously, not Carcosa?) or that this was the game they decided to take a stand against (as opposed to, say, Carcosa).

      • Bigny's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 16, 2014 11:03 am

        It wasn’t that long ago that GOPagan was whining about a “witch hunt” game being biased against pagans.

        These guys moan about political correctness, but they readily claim victim status. Boo hoo, Dim Jim cries, what about my rumored suicide attempt? I think that stupid hat of his is actually in control.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 16, 2014 11:15 am

        Atheist. Pagan/Wiccan, Odinist. Teabagger. GOPagan is all over the map!

        What a fucking hypocrite!

      • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
        December 16, 2014 2:18 pm

        The game needs more shrinkage.

  121. bad wolf permalink
    December 16, 2014 9:39 am

    PrinceofNothing: Before we be done with this once and for all, i never did find the one answer i was curious about. Perhaps you can enlighten us regarding the cover to AoI.

    Pundejo has both claimed that “The cover is really amazing (and I can say that while making it clear I had nothing to do with it!)” but also that “The idea of making the magic user on the cover transgender was my own… quickly agreed on by both the publisher (Brendan Davis) and the illustrator (Michael Prescott).”

    Now, whichever it was (or both, somehow), since he makes such a big deal out of this character, i have to ask: how is this character portrayed in the text itself? Do they have a name? Are they part of some example party that is generated and then goes on example adventures to example dungeons? They (yes i’m avoiding gendered pronouns fuckit lifes too short) must be some sort of Iconic Character like Lidda the halfling rogue was for 3E, right?

    Otherwise, it would make just as much sense for Prof Barker to claim that his cover for EPT included a transgendered character on the cover (Yilrana, on the left) and that again, he was decades ahead of his time.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 17, 2014 10:56 am

      @Bad Wolf: Fuck me, this means i am officially the YDIS Arrows of Indra specialist.

      Pundit mentions transgender people twice.

      The first instance is in the equipment section(p. 59), where Pundit mentions the existence of ‘kliba’ concubines, and the recognition of men who dress and act like women as a legitimate 3rd gender.

      (p.77) Gender roles. Pundit mentions that there are biological males that identify as women and these are considered a legitimate gender and raised as women. In addition to concubines or dancers, it would not be uncommon for them to be Siddhis as the third gender was often considered to be graced with magical power.

      That’s it. Other then a brief mention of the existence of a third gender, no characters with this 3rd gender are mentioned anywhere. I browsed through the Bharata Gazetteer and could remember/find no mention of any important npc with a thrid gender.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 17, 2014 11:30 am

        Edit: Make that any npc period.

      • bad wolf permalink
        December 18, 2014 9:19 am

        @PrinceofNothing: In…ter…esting. Yes, thanks for being the resident AoI expert. God have mercy on your soul.

        Not unexpectedly Pundejo appears to have played both sides of the fence here. Put something in that could be (re)interpreted at a later date to give himself street cred, but don’t include enough in the text to flag it (until needed later). The amount of energy he spent flogging that later would lead one to think not-Yilrana-the-Kliba was the Aleena the Cleric of AoI, but alas…

        EPT was of course ahead of the game all along, as more than one nonhuman species had ‘third genders’, and IFRC the Ahoggya had eight. Again, no need to broadcast it, but 40 years ahead of Pundejo.

        The most recent Tekumel, Jeff Dee’s Bethorm, apparently includes “random tables for generating your character’s sexual orientation and gender identity, and a sub-table for generating your specific gender expression when it is not the same as the gender your character as assigned at birth”. I suspect that in a few years such inclusions will be very indicative of a 2014 publication date.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 18, 2014 10:06 am

        My theory is considerably less cynical, possibly rosy-eyed optimistic even. However, i don’t know if the timetable matches up. Observe.

        Pundit made Arrows of Indra before the whole Transphobia thing. He put a third gender in there because there was indeed a historical/cultural precedent for it, and figures why the fuck not its part of the culture.
        He was, like many of us, probably indifferent to the T part of the LGBT community, neither positive nor negative, simply because it is not part of his everyday life. Thus inclusivity is not a goal, but neither is there bigotry(the bigotry is reserved for liberals, story-gamers, and the parents of the norwegian children killed during that shooting. Yes Pundit, we are saying that you made fun of what amounts to a highschool shooting and it didnt bother you because they had different values then you, not that you support Brevik, just that you are a dick.)

        Now the Conspiracy(tm) makes a move and accuses Zak and Pundit of Transphobia. This backfires because there is no ground for it, and Pundit can retroactively make up all sorts of shit about inclusivity and noble goals. Was the chick on the cover transgender before? Fuck if i know, apparently there is no way to tell these things and clearly portraying her as a dude in drag would be massively transphobic, with the end result that it makes no fucking difference. Hasbro can claim Aleena the Cleric was transgender all along and no one can call bullshit or ask for evidence without being called a transphobe.

        I dont think i missed a reference where they said in the book: “see that cover and that babe? She’s a tranny lol” otherwise Pundit would have thrown that in my face when he ineptly burbled at my review. Hence, a big fucking shadow-puppet show about nothing. If inclusivity makes you decide to buy a game you are fucking retarded. Period.

      • December 18, 2014 10:55 pm

        Unless the game is Blue Rose, in which case I struggle to think of another reason for buying it.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 19, 2014 10:37 am

        Ah las my love, i must, with heavy heart and misty eyes, decline this opportunity to discuss the nature of Blue Rose in the detail it so rightly deserves, lest we spurn our commander and god, whose mirthful laughter stirs our deepest passions and whose displeasure is like the torrential downpour of a winter storm upon a meek and frightened street urchin.

        Forever yours,
        Prince.

      • bad wolf permalink
        December 19, 2014 11:02 am

        PoN I must agree that i do not want to sound too conspiratorial about the Plagiarist’s forethought in the matter, and your timeline appears sound. Alas i even find myself agreeing with him this week (insofar as banning games from OBS seems kinda shitty). But as we see from Pundejo, Zackattack, and Grim, the OSR is a perfect example that “the enemy of my enemy is NOT my friend.”

        Sadly Von, i had never heard of Blue Rose until you mentioned it.

  122. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    December 16, 2014 11:20 am

    As long as GOPagan’s products remain for sale at OBS, his words ring empty and hollow. Put your money where your big right wing Libertardian mouth is, if you dare.

    I don’t see Grim Jim rushing to pull his shit from OBS either.

  123. December 16, 2014 12:50 pm

    A new job for Pundejo:

    http://therpgpundit.blogspot.com/2014/12/check-out-my-new-gig.html

    Please discuss

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 16, 2014 1:06 pm

      Somebody should post links to all of his crazy in the comments. Start with “Is It Gay?” then follow up with “Rune Magic vs. The Uruguayan Power Company”.

      • Tenser's Flogging Dicks permalink
        December 16, 2014 1:17 pm

        Your comment made me realize I’d much prefer some Crypto-Fascist website pay Smolensk to babble.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 16, 2014 1:27 pm

        I don’t know if it’s medication, meditation, self-reflection, or whatever, but Alexis is actually a decent read 9 times out of 10 now. He still needs to work a little on succinctness, but he makes a lot of good points and has some interesting ideas. I consider this a victory, for all concerned.

      • Tenser's Flogging Dicks permalink
        December 16, 2014 4:50 pm

        How are his How To books?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 16, 2014 8:29 pm

        Haven’t read them (or downloaded them illegally), but if I hear good words about them from at least one gamer I respect (not Kent, maybe Von or PrinceofNothing), I will purchase them.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 17, 2014 11:33 am

        Preciate the reacharound, but i don’t feel mentally prepared to dive into the mind of Smolensk after Gazing into the Abyss(something indian joke) just yet. Might check out the blog posts mentioned above though.

    • Tenser's Flogging Dicks permalink
      December 16, 2014 1:14 pm

      That kind of garbage will only be imbibed by those who already agree with it anyhow. But that’s Kasimir’s schtick already. The fact that someone is paying him to be publicly ignorant is par for the course. Something like 30,000 people bought cartons of poop this past Black Friday. Same thing.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 16, 2014 1:29 pm

        EveryJoe is indeed an echo chamber. Granted it’s a much bigger echo chamber than the blOwSR or RPGShite, but an echo chamber nonetheless.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 16, 2014 1:22 pm

      Apparently Pundejo’s new online persona at EveryJoe is Bella French, the transgendered identity that John Tarnowski is transitioning into:

      https://www.youtube.com/user/EveryJoeDotCom

    • Kent permalink
      December 16, 2014 4:37 pm

      So the Pundit is a Big Shot Writer now, so what.

      The bigger they are the harder they fall and other cliches.

      Maybe now his gaming material will be reconsidered in a positive light, and let me be the first to say I always said the Pundit had potential.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 16, 2014 8:30 pm

        Pundit’s not going to fuck you either, Kent. Really, you have to get it out of your head that this some gay dating site (I know it’s hard not to confuse it for such sometimes).

    • Kent permalink
      December 17, 2014 6:21 am

      Soon the Bag of Morons here at ydis will be apologising to the master of letters, Pundit philosopher at large.

    • justme permalink
      December 18, 2014 6:26 am

      It’s going to be interesting? Is that post some sort ofcyber-rune magic to boost pageviews?

  124. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 16, 2014 1:45 pm

    Is that site really connected to The Escapist, or is this typical BlOwSR self-hype? If the latter then Zak has taught him well.

    • December 16, 2014 11:28 pm

      What gargler on devil-scrotums looked at the Escapist and thought “you know what, I really think people will respond well to these muppets trying to discuss things that actually matter!” Jesus wept. If there’s a politically savvy centre to the universe it ain’t crawling out of the Escapist’s yap and dying.

      • December 18, 2014 1:53 pm

        Guys, it keeps getting better. Not satisified with logging in on a sockpuppet account christened after his real name (“J Tarnowski”), he created a second sockpuppet, “Castellan of Cracow” or somesuch. In his first post, he asks Alex Macris what’s wrong, his comments are disapoearing, etc. so he created a second account.

        And right above, “Castellan of Cracow” holds an extended, thoughtful conversation with “Kasimir Urbanski”.

        Guy created not one, but two fake personas to tug at his own dick. And that, of course, was after railing at people for “falsely impersonating RPG designers.”

        I shit you not. Go see for yourselves.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 18, 2014 4:06 pm

        It does look like Castellan of Cracow has only been posting since that article began but has Pundit actually gone so looney as to start a sockpuppet discussion with himself? Holy shit i believe you, but i am not 100% sure yet.

        Ah fuck it. Guess he discovered our nefarious attempt at subversion that we planned out in the open for all to see and saw through our cunning plan of using the names of his greatest enemies in a really obvious way so he wouldnt know it was really us real quick.

        In the interest of sportsmanship, i should point out that if you feel genuine loathing for Pundit, as opposed to the mirthful contempt proscribed by DoctorofNothing, that he is correct when he says that this will get him more views. However, i do not resent him those views if it provides more of this…whatever this is.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 18, 2014 4:08 pm

        Also shit, usually forget this, have an exalt this is gold.

      • December 18, 2014 10:18 pm

        1) Any question starting with ‘has the Pundit gone so loony…’ should always be answered with a resounding AYE. If he hasn’t yet, he will soon, so we’re just saving time.

        2) I wonder if arguing with your own sockpuppets demonstrates professional social SEO media 2.0 webspertise in the blogomatics when Pundit’s doing it, and gormless timewasting from people who just don’t get that everything in the history of human events ultimately helps the Pundit to make $$$ when it’s anyone else doing it?

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 19, 2014 10:26 am

        1) ~vibes.

        2) Let’s face it, Pundit depends on outrage and perpetual conflict to sustain his quasi-popularity(how very 40k), and anything that actually validates his delusional worldview by giving him something other then dismissive contempt, however obviously facetious and tongue-in-cheek, is going to delay his inevitable descent into solipsistic navelgazing by a few more precious days.
        Original ideas that can be applied to gaming have long since gone the way of the dinosaur, and all that remains is vitriol of the most generic and mediocre quality, coupled with advertisements for his own catalogue, clickbait, reviews(and i dont think he is a terrible reviewer for the tastes of your average gamer mind you) and play reports i would not wish upon my most heinous foes.

        People follow the man because of;
        1) Actual agreement with his philosophy and outlook. You poor, broken, bitter sods.
        2) Train-wreck fascination.

        Conflict, however silly, sustains the loyalty of 1) by validating his claims of a conspiracy to destroy gaming to the chromosome-deficient morons who dont think critically(i.e anyone who agrees with all his claims) because in his mind anyone who has a problem with him is out to destroy D&D.
        It also sustains 2), because he almost inevitably looks silly, hypocritical and stupid when defending himself. An assault upon his integrity can no more destroy him then a flamethrower can damage the ground zero after a tac-nuke strike. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.

        Step 3 –> Monetize outrage and maximize hack potential with the ethical integrity of a Dickension Orphanage director.

        Step 4 –> Profit!

  125. Kent permalink
    December 16, 2014 4:41 pm

    A Woman Under the Influence – Cassavetes 1974.

    Wow, what a good movie for adults. Columbo and the sexy Gena Rowlands.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      December 16, 2014 7:34 pm

      Aw, Kunto has no fwiends and wants to tawk moo-vees wit us!

      Clearly you are in your sixties, Kunt. You’d have to be lacking in any kind of testosterone to make this the movie you want to praise on a site more interested in things pop culture. Jesus Christ, all the great movies in the 70’s and this is your jam? And Gina Rowlands? Goddamn you are a square old cunt.

    • Scott permalink
      December 17, 2014 1:13 am

      http://holdsteady.wikia.com/wiki/Slapped_Actress

      Let’s not be rude about Cassavetes or Gina.

      • Scott permalink
        December 17, 2014 1:17 am

        Or *spelling.

        (Gena, not Tori.)

        (If a teen soap is the hill I’m dying on, I’m a Dawson’s Creek boy.)

        (I’m lying, I’m a Bayside boy.)

      • Scott permalink
        December 17, 2014 1:30 am

        (I had to look up how she spelled her name)

        (And she made me think of my old crush Yvette Vickers, Playboy centerforld and star of Attack of the Giant Leeches, one of the movies that inspired my all-public-domain Thool thingy, and also one of the co-stars of Reform School Girls)

        (Who ended up with the worst ending, bless her heart, pretty sad to be so isolated that you mummify before anyone notices you’re gone and some sad fringe-of-the-fringe OSR guy is the only one who cares)

        (No money :()

  126. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    December 16, 2014 6:55 pm

    At the right of Pundit’s article under “Community Reactions” there is a picture of a smiling gal in a bikini top with the caption: “41 Slow Motion Bouncing Lady Bits.” Is anyone else seeing that or do I just need to curtail my sleazy browsing habits?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 16, 2014 8:35 pm

      No, but I’ve noticed the whole Bill Cosby shitstorm has the EveryJoe community conflicted and confused in the comments: on the one hand, woman are sex objects and therefore liars in their eyes, and on the other hand, nigger.

      • Scott permalink
        December 16, 2014 9:53 pm

        There’s a conflation with the burden of proof in a US criminal or civil case and the burden of proof in the court of public opinion. We can think he’s guilty without carrying a burden at trial. I do.

        Apparently some of my recent issues may be “infrastructural,” so this came up: what if OJ had CTE? He’s the textbook candidate … probably not an excuse, but possibly a mitigating factor and at least an Ethics 101 thing.

  127. Kent permalink
    December 16, 2014 7:47 pm

    Does anyone here have a Folio Society copy of East of the Sun West of the Moon ,,, or … an Underwood Miller edition of The Dying Earth?

    • Scott permalink
      December 16, 2014 9:44 pm

      surlalune.com has the Henry Justice Ford illos from East of the Sun, which are definitive. In my couple years’ experience with the Folio Society, the only illos that are superior to the “canonical” versions are those for LotR. I don’t know much about Dying Earth other than Fabian.

      • Kent permalink
        December 17, 2014 6:15 am

        You prefer Ford to Nielsen referring to just four pretty mundane pictures? Is there an East of the Sun book with more Ford illos?

      • Scott permalink
        December 18, 2014 10:07 pm

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 17, 2014 1:52 am

      Kent doesn’t read books, he just collects them.

      He accuses Zak and Co. of “not being readers”, but that’s his typical psychological projection. If Saltine showed up in the comment thread, she’d demonstrate a better grasp of the “Alice” books than Kent, and Kent would demonstrate a better grasp of dudes’ cockshafts.

  128. December 17, 2014 8:31 am

    Articles titled, “How the Infection of Postmodernism is Now Killing Its Designers” aren’t exactly click magnets. Not sure John got the memo from his new boss. Make sure you leave a comment so they know he’s getting traffic and is invited to continue writing.

    http://www.everyjoe.com/2014/12/16/politics/postmodernism-killing-its-designers/

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 17, 2014 9:02 am

      Keep it up, guys! The more he has to explain YDIS in the comments, the sooner The Escapist will realize they brought an internet nutjob onboard like WotC finally did.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 17, 2014 9:11 am

      God damn, that column is pure white noise.

      Between this and Shit my axe, the Escapist is a fucking joke.

      That dude involved with it, Alex Macris, or something, is he the hoser involved with Tavis, who finished Dumbermount?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 17, 2014 9:44 am

        I laughed my ass off when I learned that Macris is a Libertarian, which explains why he ate JMal’s shit. What better Randian hero than a thieving suckdungeon “architect” who goes AWOL?

        Too bad JMal is pious and prudish-Ayn wouldn’t be down with that

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 17, 2014 9:42 am

      Oh, no, Tarnowski has been DOXXED in that comment thread!!!!!

      Some good stuff there, already. Including his informing readers of the conspiracy against him…

    • December 17, 2014 10:06 am

      Wonderful Pundejo quote: “F*ck yeah I’m a wizard for real. They’ll see soon enough!”

      Also, I’m loving how ‘Kasimir Urbanski’ disparages commenters for “using false identities.”

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 17, 2014 11:01 am

      Oh wow, you guys are really going nutso in that comment section. Ever vigilant. Nice.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        December 18, 2014 5:34 am

        THEY’RE USING POSTMODERNISM! WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

        Jesus Christ, what a clueless fucker.

  129. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    December 17, 2014 9:14 am

    I’m sorry to report Ponyfinder, or Pathfinder for Bronies, has only one instance of the word “clop”, and it’s in reference to a “stray clop” that might give away a rogue pony.

    I was really hoping for some clever feat names like Fast Clop, Quick Clop, Improved Clop, and Two-handed Clop.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 17, 2014 9:16 am

      No Clop of Opportunity?

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        December 17, 2014 5:08 pm

        Attack of Cloportunity?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 17, 2014 1:49 pm

      The pony race presents the Fingerless rules, which basically state the pony uses its mouth instead of hands. Except magic. The pony must use its hooves (or horn if a unicorn) to handle somatic components of a spell or for touch attacks. Magic rings transform into anklets for ponies, and magic boots pairs double in number for all four hooves. But if your pony has horseshoes, they count as a slot for rings or boots.

      While I can play zebras or unicorns in Ponyfinder, even a clockwork pony or seahorse, I am sad to report there are no half-pony templates or characters. Friendship is magic, and clopping is really fucking a pony, so you think there would be half-ponies clopping about the setting.

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      December 18, 2014 4:15 pm

      Any of you dudes play Warclopper 40k? I’m really into the lore of the Horsey Heresy.

  130. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 17, 2014 11:14 am

    I would have liked to have thought “Stray Clop” meant splattering yourself with “Friendly Fire” while spanking it to Pony Porn.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 17, 2014 1:35 pm

      Coming (lol) across that reference, it gave me hope, but I was ultimately disappointed.

  131. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    December 17, 2014 2:40 pm

    Damn, talk about TL,DR. Taintowski will never beat 41 Jiggling Ladybits for click bait potential. Funny how he’s shilling for his blog in the comments. Not even his Rune Magick will help him keep this gig.

    I’d bring him to the attention of some of the snarkier political bloggers, but he’s not worth the effort. Dudes like Instapundit and Jonah Goldberg are actually fun to mock. J.T. is just political Blooey, representing the Liblootarian Party.

  132. Xartan Tsathoggua permalink
    December 17, 2014 2:49 pm

    I don’t know about Pundejo losing his new gig – they publish John C. Wright there. He makes JMal look like a Unitarian. http://www.everyjoe.com/2014/12/17/politics/defining-maintaining-civilization/#1 – of course Pundejo has already given him a reach around.

    • December 17, 2014 3:45 pm

      Wright is an absolute wacko. I like his little Night Land pastiches, but his space opera thing was just too retarded. Then I peeked at his blog one day and failed a SAN check 😦

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 18, 2014 3:45 am

      The goal shouldn’t be to get Pundit to lose a gig, the man has been playing the (edges of the) field for a long time, and his craziness is out there on the web, to see for all who want to see. Rather, one’s goal should be to enjoy life, and watch him rave and rant and make people uncomfortable. The journey is the goal. The calls are the house. The map is the territory.

      Don’t do it out of hatred. Do it because its fun.

      • December 18, 2014 6:30 am

        Dirty pomo

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 18, 2014 7:52 am

        Absolutely right, Prince. And it IS fun watching him hold up 37 comments as proof of his fame and fortune. Half of those comments are his, about a dozen from people who are mocking him, three from people from the rpgshite come to support him, and only two from from any actual audience, both of which are probably the rightwingers the site is working so hard to attract.

        Classic.

      • Jack permalink
        December 18, 2014 10:13 am

        You have an absolutely Walter Pater-esque approach to this, Prince. And for that, I salute you.

  133. Kent permalink
    December 17, 2014 4:53 pm

    The Pundit Muses:

    “Remind me what kind of special turdburgler it takes to obsess themselves for the better part of a decade with someone who ‘writes to a clickbait portal’, to the point of reading everything that person has ever written in a desperate attempt to ‘take him down’, unlawfully impersonating people to try to fraudulently attack him, making up lies, posting information about their personal life (but wait, don’t you guys think that’s History’s Greatest Evil when its used against your own side? Isn’t that ‘harassment’ and ‘threats’? How conveniently post-modernist of you that when someone does it to you it’s criminal ‘threat’ and ‘harassment’ but when you decide to do it to someone else in an attempt to silence them it’s just ‘truth’-telling), all of this stalkerish behaviour for someone you’re trying to prove is irrelevant?

    Either you’re the world’s most pathetic asshole, or you’ve just proven how influential what I’m doing really is. Your call, daisy.”

    ====

    I don’t agree, I don’t disagree, but Our Pundit has a point. What exactly is YDIS’s talent? He had the initiative to host a forum for a huge overcrowded ship of fools and also took on a handful of intriguing and mysterious passengers such as myself. And yet what does YDIS contribute himself? Is he a good writer? Has he produced fascinating random tables immediately useful at the gametable? What are YDIS credentials as an internet personality?

    The Pundit is an Rising Web Man Star who uses Internet Words like Bombs to Destroy his Enemies and attract a Fan Base.

    • December 18, 2014 10:30 pm

      Whereas you, you’re more a sniper kinda guy… precise, anonymous, the unknown soldier, the bullet in the back of the noggin on the back streets of Belfast?

      Still, this is a more meritorious question than WHO IS YDIS? WHAT HAS YDIS EVER DONE FOR US? may actually have relevance to some knuckle-dragger who can’t discern that creative work and critical work have distinct skill sets.

  134. Kent permalink
    December 17, 2014 5:14 pm

    Also check out my second podcast later this week. Two people have asked me to record another monoconversation and I am working on thirteen hours of material, including halting jerky readings of poetry I have never seen before, a description of the flora and fauna of my new garden, advice on web porn search terms and an advice column entitled “Was this a bit of a rapey encounter or a vigorous cool party type situation?”

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 17, 2014 5:31 pm

      This is the only known picture of Kent on the Internet.

  135. Kent permalink
    December 17, 2014 5:52 pm

    Me love me, I love me, I love I, doo bee doo
    I am amazing,
    Kent is cool
    This is a poem
    Irish Whiskey is too sweet
    Doo Bee doo
    I love Joe Rogan
    Hugs and Hugs
    Kissy Kissy woo
    Doo Bee doo
    Ooops
    Scotch for Christmas
    Baby Jesus sucks Scotch through straws
    Doo Bee doo
    Me love me, I love me, I love I, doo bee doo
    Kent’s Blog is very disappointing
    Liars
    Unreliable liars
    Lying Cunts
    Womens Butts
    Doo Doo be doo

    • December 17, 2014 6:16 pm

      Okay, but really what I’m waiting for is the porn search advice.

      • Kent permalink
        December 17, 2014 6:24 pm

        BING is your friend and Lesbian Butts gets rid of ugly gangly guys who look like lucky wide-eyed milkmen. Then try Lesbian Academic Feminist Sexual Abuse if you think your cock can get real Hard without Exploding.

      • Kent permalink
        December 17, 2014 6:32 pm

        And … don’t chicken out. Respond to my previous musing About YOU.

      • December 17, 2014 7:27 pm

        My online credentials? I deal in volume, homes. This blog, in just a few years, has accrued over 170.4 billion views. That places it just ahead of Amazon, and just behind Baidu. Then there’s the cultural impact: the South Park YDIS episode, $125M merchandise sales for 3Q ’14, licensing deals with Hasbro and Disney, Brad Pitt/David Fincher film in development, etc. My random tables of course have been collected in a ten-volume set exclusive to The Folio Society, priced at $1,500 originally and now only available on the secondary market, where individual volumes regularly fetch five-figure sums. Also, I fuck tons of chicks and they totally love it. I know karate+MMA way better than Scott, he told me so himself after I kicked him super hard and he fell down, then he got a tattoo of me.

        But enough about me… what have you been up to?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 18, 2014 1:00 pm

      Kent’s Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard!
      http://anabolicminds.com/forum/attachments/%2049424d1323909344-aromatase-inhibitors-lower-photo-man-boobs.jpg%20.att

  136. Kent permalink
    December 17, 2014 6:03 pm

    I love Scott. He is my only D&D Soulmate.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 18, 2014 12:53 pm

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      December 18, 2014 3:00 pm

      Makes sense. Both you and Scott use “gaming” as an excuse to talk to people online (since neither of you have friends), and neither of you actually games.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 18, 2014 3:44 pm

        Didn’t Scott use to have a game blog? Why the Scott hate? Did he hit you with his car too?!?

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        December 18, 2014 4:14 pm

        No hate. Scott says nothing rustles his jimmies, so I doubt he cares. He’s probably got bigger things to worry about, like vehicular manslaughter or whatever.

        Though when you mention his blog it reminds me of another similarity: both shitcanned their blogs. The only difference is that Scott had the nuts to keep his off the web, but Kent always comes crawling back

      • Scott permalink
        December 18, 2014 10:01 pm

        I haven’t non-CCG gamed (ATM machined?) in some time, and haven’t played Magic at a respectably competitive level in almost as long. I still enjoy working on my little projects but I may have hit the point in my life when tabletop gaming other than traditional playing cards and boardgames is just not going to happen.

        I don’t have many friends in real life, gaming or otherwise, so I take any excuse I can find to talk to people about gaming. I like being able to talk here and I genuinely like the people I’ve talked to off-blog. I wouldn’t call gaming so much an excuse as a pilot hole.

        Plenty of things rustle my jimmies, I just try to let the jimmies rustle through me. Some of the shots taken here are unwarranted, or go beyond the level that’s justified, but nothing beyond the pale other than tard-bashing and the VERY occasional “dude REALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???” thing (at least one of which was me).

        I am or have been friends in other social media outlets with at least three YDIS regulars who I know of, they were all pretty cool, and I believe they’d confirm there’s not a lot of persona-curating going on with me.

        Anyway, there’s not exactly a shortage of online venues in which old gamers can find validation, I just happen to like it here.

        In closing, you’re all faggots and seeing each and every one of you cornholed with a pinecone would make me happier than running barefoot through a titty field

      • December 19, 2014 7:51 am

        That’s cool and all, but you drew Mjollnir for Secret Chrismukkah and he’s waaaaaaaiiiiting…

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 19, 2014 5:15 am

        [Single-teary-eyed salute]

    • Jack permalink
      December 19, 2014 7:34 am

      Can’t we have the pine cone *and* the titty field? ‘Tis the season, after all.

  137. Kent permalink
    December 17, 2014 6:30 pm

    Also, I have a man-crush on Joe Rogan. He is a kind man, he is a wise man, he has plans, he has wisdom.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 18, 2014 12:54 pm


      Kent’s been clopping it!

    • Scott permalink
      December 18, 2014 10:43 pm

      Joe Rogan was more entertaining before he discovered MMA.

  138. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    December 18, 2014 6:16 am

    Comment 699: RPGPlagiarist is stoked about getting twenty comments. *snerk*

    Check out the Escapist forums, it’s about fifty percent “Mjollnir” over there. I think Kent should approach Macris about hosting his pudcast, “I Hit It With My Ass”.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 18, 2014 9:37 am

      He’s getting killed in the “likes” though. All his “enemies” are getting more likes on their comments than he is. He’s also liking his own comments with both his John Tarnowski and Kasimir Urbanski accounts.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        December 18, 2014 10:39 am

        STOP USING POST-MODERNISM TO ATTACK HIM!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 18, 2014 10:56 am

        Your postmodernism is suck

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 18, 2014 11:16 am

        YOUR DECONSTRUCTION IS SUCK!!!!

  139. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 18, 2014 1:38 pm

    Enough about this ridiculous Zak wanna-be Tarnowski, Blooey said something!

    “Just spent more money on this friggin’ machine but now I’m fast (as soon as the present program finishes, sigh!) and protected. And it’s lunch time in this hell hole.”

    As usual keeping his promise – not boring us with any details.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      December 18, 2014 4:01 pm

      Is it Meatloaf Thursday, Bloo? We need to know!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 18, 2014 4:15 pm

        No meatloaf 😦

        It’s loafloaf night… don’t ask any questions if you know what’s good for you.

      • Scott permalink
        December 18, 2014 9:16 pm

        My most hated of all loafs 😦

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 18, 2014 10:01 pm

        Loaf for the Loaf God!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 19, 2014 1:04 pm

        The Stink in Golanda II: Lunchtime in This Hell Hole

      • bloodymage permalink
        December 19, 2014 1:05 pm

        No Seconds on Jell-O 😦

    • Scott permalink
      December 18, 2014 10:21 pm

      I can’t find it, and I’ve looked for a while, but there was a “webpage” – in the days when people hosted webpages – with little comics that started off pretty innocuously but that rapidly descended into scrawls and desperation as the guy’s relationship disintegrated. Like doop de doo, walkin the dog, hahaha I AM IN HELL KILL KILL DIE DIE

      That’s how I feel about this poor guy. Also if anyone knows the comic I’m talking about, please lmk

      • JaleBoy76 permalink
        December 20, 2014 3:14 am

        Maybe Gleeful Nihilism? http://gleefulnihilism.com

      • Scott permalink
        December 20, 2014 2:48 pm

        I can’t even describe this shit well enough to find it by search engine. It’s sort of like a journal and it very much reminds me of this poor guy everyone here is obsessed with 😦

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 19, 2014 1:02 pm

      When is it lunchtime in THIS hell hole?

  140. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 19, 2014 12:17 pm

    Anybody notice the exclamation point in Blooey’s “sigh?” Sigh! Have you ever seen that before? I’m telling you, this guy is ahead of the game at all times. He’s Rainman. Before long everybody is going to be sighing with gusto. We laugh now, but history will out!

    In the future, nobody will bore you with details. In the future all 9 page PDF modules will be 15 bucks. In the future everybody will have to pay for the honor of working for somebody else. The future!

    SIGH!!!

  141. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 19, 2014 4:01 pm

    “Everything costs $$$$. I’m sick and tired of it.”

    You and me both, Blooey, you and me both.

    • Scott permalink
      December 20, 2014 2:49 pm

      DON’T FORGET TO SMASH THE STATE!

  142. bloodymage permalink
    December 19, 2014 5:13 pm

    I hate this computer. Lost my gadgets! Fckn MS. More crap on this computer just trying to make things work! I’m bored stiff most of the time ’cause I lock myself in this house and hide. But, my bed is made and I must lie in it. And I’m not OK, but I won’t bore anyone w/ details. Just spent more money on this friggin’ machine but now I’m fast (as soon as the present program finishes, sigh!) and protected. Everything costs $$$$. I’m sick and tired of it. And I’m not OK, but I won’t bore anyone w/ details. About all I have left is imagination. The VA’s drugs ate my brain and I’m still working on recovery. I am useless in the 21st century. I’m stranded here without keys and nothin’ much to do except fart around. And I’m not OK, but I won’t bore anyone w/ details. And it’s lunch time in this hell hole. Polly Eggs will be available in the Comfort Suite.

  143. Billber permalink
    December 19, 2014 6:53 pm

    “Kasimir Urbanski

    Well, 20 comments and counting! ”

    “Kasimir Urbanski

    37 Comments now!”

    “Castellan of Cracow

    93 comments so far!

    Oh shit, forgot which account I was using

    • December 20, 2014 7:10 am

      Nice catch. That number’s got to include all the comments he deleted already, right? Even my innoccuous bon mot disappeared pretty quickly, courtesy the RPG Defender of Free Speech.

  144. Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
    December 19, 2014 9:26 pm

    Wait, so he’s using different names and having a conversation with himself?

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      December 19, 2014 9:27 pm

      That’s how I understand it, yeah.

    • bloodymage permalink
      December 19, 2014 9:44 pm

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 20, 2014 6:17 am

      Is he retro-cloning Kent’s Sock-puppet Engine too? Hope he is prepared for the drop off in comments when we lose interest though.

      • bloodymage permalink
        December 20, 2014 6:48 am

        Sigh!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 20, 2014 8:16 am

        The beauty of it all is that his tantrums drive more traffic here than to his own sites.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 20, 2014 8:36 am

        Dang it we should retro-clone Pundit’s MO and try to make money of that outrage also. Anyone know how we can contact Cracked.com to clue us in on some of that delicious clickbait cash-money?

        Perhaps some articles on the implications of Post-modern Magick as described in Unknown Armies and how it will eventually erode the thaumaturgical traditions that helped us develop the Rune-magick so essential to the foundation of this hobby?
        Will the perverse story-gaming Pact-making rules of Sorcerer eventually triumph over the wholesome Vancian magic system we hold most sacred? Will Siddhi’s ever be able to cast the Bhaivara-mudra free from resounding sophist chants of ‘The Grey Hand did it first and better?’
        Are we doomed to fall to the wrath of Uruguayan Power Companies? Are these our dying days? Not while we fight!

      • December 20, 2014 8:50 am

        “Will the perverse story-gaming Pact-making rules of Sorcerer eventually triumph over the wholesome Vancian magic system we hold most sacred?”

        Hope springs eternal.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 20, 2014 9:16 am

        How about a cut-and-paste clone of Arrows of Indra… Shafts of Shiva?

        Damn! I’ve got it- Empire of the Plagiarist Throne!

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 20, 2014 9:53 am

        @BLF(sounds vaguely like an acronym for a Burger King meal) – I was gonna go with Arrows of Bindra.

        @Von, ignorant story-gaming slut. Seriously though, you ever checked out Sorceror? I just read through the Corebook and its sourcebooks to detox from my reviewing tour to mythic Tekmu-i mean India. Edwards has some nifty ideas, but the game seems pretty hard to run and most of the expansions amount to essays, looney playstiles, way to many literary references and quotes and bizarre email transcripts. Dude is a bit of an extremist loon. Still not as crazy as pundit though.

      • December 20, 2014 10:05 am

        I haven’t read Sorcerer itself, but I really like The Blue Tome of Amaxathroth as a supplement for Carcosa. You have to wade through a shitload of dopey fanfic, but he’s got a handle on how rituals and dickish beings should work.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 20, 2014 11:24 am

        Nice, i might give that one a try. Sorcerer is a cool idea with a terrible execution/implication. Checked out the Dictionairy of Mu also btw?

      • December 20, 2014 12:43 pm

        Dictionary costs more than $0, unfortunately it exceeds my gaming budget 😦

      • bloodymage permalink
        December 20, 2014 3:27 pm

        No money 😦

      • December 20, 2014 9:58 pm

        I haven’t read/played Sorcerer, no. I just have a deep and inherent dislike of Vancian magic as it’s implemented in D&D by people who haven’t read – or haven’t quite understood – Vance.

        Speaking of people who haven’t quite understood things, I saw Fran Walsh and Phillippa Boyens’ fanfiction – no, that’s not right. I saw Peter Jackson and Andy Serkis’ Let’s Play: Shadows of Mordor – no, that’s not right either. I saw something pretending to be some sort of Hobbit film last night. Can’t say I approved.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 21, 2014 4:33 pm

        Does that mean us noble, handsome, virile gentlemen who have read and enjoyed the Dying Earth get a pass in the brave new story-gaming world that is to come? Asking for a friend.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 20, 2014 12:03 pm

      Breaking news guys; According to Pundit, one of us made a sockpuppet to impersonate him so it would look like he was talking to himself in a fiendish postmodernist plot to discredit him.
      Very elaborate but here at Ydis we care about truth, as long as that truth is neither absolute nor modern or pre-modern and everyone is allowed to have their own defenition as long as we acknowledge it does not really exist. You have violated our most sacred oaths, not that we believe in those things, being so postmodernist and all.

      Will the guilty parties please step forward for summary execution?

      • Scott permalink
        December 20, 2014 2:51 pm

        Ah, the old False Flag Sockpuppet gambit. YDIS, you magnificent bastard.

        We’re through the looking glass here, people

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 20, 2014 3:30 pm

        First Desborough fakes a suicide attempt and lies about getting a razor blade in the mail, now this. RPGPlagarist is making himself look like an idiot, even to those mental midgets who read EveryJoe.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 20, 2014 4:48 pm

        Dammit i was hoping he would take his false flag all the way and try to infiltrate a Kent simulacrum under our noses, confessing his crime and calling us all SA Goons and whatnot. How the hell did he get the idea we are SA goons btw. We are waaaaay more juvenile and bigoted then grognards.txt.

        No money 😦

  145. bloodymage permalink
    December 19, 2014 9:41 pm

    Just getting back after a long absence and I’m having trouble entering my registration info to install Castles! My username is bloodymage, the name above my product listing is Steve Willett. The name in the serial number form was autofilled as gstevew. All these numbers hurt my head (had a brain tumor)! Please, get me back going!

    Nevermind, I get in a hurry sometimes. I have to install CC2 first. Will CC3 work?

  146. Billber permalink
    December 20, 2014 10:00 am

    Repugnant’s garbage consists of painfully tedious “ideas”, ideas anyone who has ever been subjected to college twits after their first Phil 101 lecture has heard before, all wrapped up in a middle school English writing assignment. His writing stinks but the angry stamping is pure entertainment. Kick the ball into the crazy fucker’s garden as often as possible.

    “But the very claim that it’s impossible to access truth inherently contains within it a rejection of the idea of working by judging degrees of truth, and supplants it with the idea of just ‘creating narratives’. That’s the poison of post-modernism right there.”