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“Are their stories somehow irrelevant?”

December 10, 2019

Jeff Rients has a question for the community!

Are testimonials of the women who support Zak somehow irrelevant, or is it that they were weighed and compared against what Mandy and other women reported and readers’ individual experiences, and about a billion people who interacted with Zak recognized horrifying commonalities of behavior in how Mandy and her supporters reported being treated by Zak and the treatment the readers experienced first hand from Zak? Bullying, aggression, manipulation, terrifying shifts in mood, bad faith argumentation and all those other things Jeff characterizes as “X behavior that [they] don’t like.” Gosh, why don’t people like being treated like that?

Jeff didn’t even see any abuse in that “tiny sliver” of life he glimpsed in the background and says that’s “odd.” I wonder if Jeff’s colleagues at Temple thought it was “odd” that the women Bill Cosby preyed on at the university seemed fine at the time? What a bunch of oddballs, those abuse victims!

What seems odd to me is that Jeff has a dumb take and bad choice in friends and now his poor wife has been drawn in, patrolling the comments section for heretics. Jesus Christ, Jeff, don’t get your family smeared with Zak’s shit…

“Maybe I’m wrong to still be Zak’s friend. But I am.” Cool, bruh. Zak has succeeded in getting some disinfectant sprayed on his brand. Looking forward to the Zak + Jeff Kickstarter in 2020 Q1!


1,355 Comments leave one →
  1. Kent permalink
    December 10, 2019 1:34 pm

    I was an early despiser of Zak (2010?) because he struck me as just another Jew trying hard to seem the smartest non-goy around. And when opposed reacted like a slug in the presence of saint Salt.

    He tried to flatter me once, and once only, but flattery is supplication to me and I mocked him with great mockery, aka with biblical indignity. He never responded to me after that, I tried adeptly to seem friendly for several years without softening the granitic semitic hard face of the soft faced little fag. A *fag* to me is someone I could kill while doing household chores, and forget I had transgressed. Fucking slags does not elevate a *fag* to manhood [although ydis thinks so and communicated his former adulation of Zak to me privately in those terms.]

    At the same time, since when have sensible beings payed any attention to a dialogue, made public like a play, between a harlot and a fag? I mean ‘payed attention’ beyond mockery? If the police are not interested then why should I be?

    Ignore online fags and whores is a precept for pre-teens surely.

    • Andy Action permalink
      December 17, 2019 6:48 am

      Wow, I didn’t think anyone could bring this conversation any lower besides Zak himself – and yet, here is Kent to lower the bar.

  2. December 10, 2019 2:19 pm

    Gaah. So disappointing. Jeff was one of the OSR blogging old guard who had managed to keep his head above the sewage.

  3. Whateley permalink
    December 10, 2019 2:32 pm

    He’s not going to fuck you, Jeff. And if he does its going to be a mediocre one given the looks on the faces of women who agreed to be penetrated by a 90s family sitcom antagonist.

  4. Franky Panky permalink
    December 10, 2019 4:12 pm

    Did Jeff call the whores, like Dani Jang? How do you suppose those conversations went. “So You never saw Zak abuse Mandy. Okay. Say, what are you wearing… or not wearing… right now?” Bonus question, “Do you mind if my wife joins us? After all she fights my online fights for me because I am not enough of a man to fight them myself.”

    Zak is living in a cardboard box on Sepulveda Blvd right now, Jeff. He isn’t going to introduce you or Amy to the *Witnesses*.

  5. Poo Poo Ragoo permalink
    December 10, 2019 4:31 pm

    Jeff, Zak is going to break your heart. He is going to break your heart Jeff and when he does, you will shit your pants. Trust me on this pant shitting thing. I know because it happened to me.

    I shit my pants.

    Just don’t lose Amy over this like I lost Hannah. If you are anything like me – and I think you are because you clearly love Zak too and can probably feel the doo doo percolating inside you even now and heading toward your anus and you won’t be able to hold it in – you will shit your pants Jeff and need that razorback hog you call a wife around to do your laundry.

  6. Reason permalink
    December 10, 2019 6:16 pm

    It’s actually a testament to how brilliant at D&D Jeff is- even an auteur like Zak was so enchanted by Jeff’s DMing that he didn’t even get distracted & start abusing his wife whenever she dragged herself past the monitor during their live online game session. Usually he barely takes a break from that shit.

  7. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 10, 2019 7:25 pm

    Wow, Unca’ Jeffy’s wife got shut the fuck up quick by the reasonable counter-arguments. “are you from” joke is cringingly weak. She’s a fucking idiot.

    Looking at her pic online. Can’t decide if “woof woof” is appropriate or “Oink Oink.”

    Jeff is clearly enamored and bought into Zak’s “Ima cool non-nerd gamer, ya’ll” horseshit. Zak’s constant “anybody who doesn’t be reasonable and publicly defend me is an angry/dumb nerd” crap should be enough to turn off any gamer regardless of anything else. Jeez.

    Fuck you, Rients. You just want to be that fuckface’s sidekick. Even his ass-felching toady Joe The Unblown Lawyer dropped him like a laundry bag full of jerked off into gym socks.


    • Franky Panky permalink
      December 11, 2019 10:45 am

      Where might I view her pic on-line, O captain? Asking for myself. I’d like to be able to recognize her if I see her at a Con. Possibly offer her some private OSR lessons. Her manlet of a hubby certainly won’t mind. He seems quite the wittol.

  8. Frog Gode permalink
    December 11, 2019 3:01 am

    Went to my FLGS today, found these :
    Looks like a French version of the “cream” of LameOldtFP was kickstarted a while back and the deluxe hardcovers have just hit the stores. Great timing. I must say they are gorgeous. The paper alone was orgasm-inducing, and did not smell at all like abuse.

    • Poo Poo Ragoo permalink
      December 11, 2019 6:16 am

      Sorry for the smell but I handled them all with my poopy fingers after I shit my pants. Glad you liked the scent though Frog Gode!

  9. December 11, 2019 6:29 am

    Don’t worry. Someone referred him to ” wundergeek’s recent posts on abusers in a community”. Everything is going to be fine.

  10. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    December 11, 2019 1:59 pm

    Zakko is now on the attack-o. He’s spamming that entire thread with his logical fallacies.

  11. Amy Rients Feminine Hygiene FAIL permalink
    December 11, 2019 2:44 pm


    • Poo Poo Ragoo permalink
      December 11, 2019 2:52 pm

      Sorry Amy but you are losing him. You are losing Jeff to Zak just like Hannah lost me to Zak. But Zak will break his heart Amy. Zak will break his heart and when he does, Jeff will shit his pants. I know. It happened to me.

      I shit my pants.

  12. Franky Panky permalink
    December 11, 2019 5:10 pm

    It’s lika a best of “The Zak Show”, innit? The binary questions with 2 wrong choices, the demands for answers, the constant insinuations of bad faith, the petulance, the insistence that all interaction is on his terms — the very definition of an asshole, BTW , and the empty threats to leave, which we all know his narc-rage would never allow him to do.

    For anyone who wondered why Zak was canceled in the first place, he certainly did a fine job of reminding us of the reasons.

    What do you bet he whined to Amy and Jeff about how he was treated in the comments, and of course demanded that they do something, delete many things, or they are acting in bad faith. Archived here, for posterity

    • December 11, 2019 5:34 pm

      That is the trainwreck-iest thread we’ve seen in a loooong time. Wonder if Jeff will be turning over to Zak the IP addresses from comments, so he can build a more accurate enemies list? Took a few months for the community to turn on JaMal, Jeff’s letting himself get taken down overnight. Maybe he’s done with the scene and just said “Fuck it.” What is the end game here?

      Thank you for saving that thread Frank, in recognition I’ve pledged generously to the Eyebrow Fund at Locks of Love in your name.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        December 11, 2019 7:57 pm

        Without an answer to those questions, I’m done here.

  13. Parvel permalink
    December 11, 2019 7:29 pm

    Zak is very much like Trump: Toadies, sycophants, and even well-meaning but naive defenders in his orbit ALL sooner or later get sucked down into the pigshit with him by the event-horizon-level gravity of his narcissism.

    • Nanda Green permalink
      December 12, 2019 1:14 pm

      Except Trump can draw without tracing on a lightbox

  14. Reason permalink
    December 11, 2019 7:41 pm

    Zak is living a Kafkaesque nightmare where no one will engage with him where Wundergeek is being held up as an example of truth, logic & ethics… And all the shitty ways he used to “win” arguments don’t work anymore, just overnight everyone else decided all the words now mean something different and he wasn’t told.

    His way of engaging with the world that took him so far is now digging him deeper & he can’t seem to adapt. Instead of curling people up in petty semantics & high school level debate cheats people are just laughing in his face.

    Because IF he adapts he admits this new bizarro world is the real world, Wundergeek is worth listening to, the skank tap has dried up & he can’t even bully the unblown anymore. It’s an I Am Legend moment.

  15. Xartan Tssagua permalink
    December 11, 2019 8:28 pm

    It’s like Jeff invited a vampire into his house. Let the right one in Rients! Zak hatred is the one thing that has united the Left and Right of the OSR and for once everyone is correct.

  16. Buffet Slayer permalink
    December 11, 2019 8:31 pm

    Another “friend” like Raggi who waits MONTHS before telling people that they believed ‘hey, this stuff didn’t happen and it’s all not true’ instead of saying that days after the rape and abuse accusations were leveled– when it would have actually mattered. This is like going back and trying to clean up Chernobyl when the continent is already a dead husk. What a weakling and now double so hiding behind his wife. Not even the worst cunt you know deserves friends like these.

    • Mrs. Dr. The Reints (Amy) permalink
      December 11, 2019 8:35 pm

      Ok Twitter game nerds, STOP TALKING ABOUT MY HUABAND
      Who his friends are, is none of your business. Keep his name out of your mouth and off your keyboard. Go back to whence you came.

  17. Zak Zee Smith permalink
    December 12, 2019 12:24 am

    Ok, I asked a bunch of questions nobody could answer. It’s pretty obvious nobody attacking me or Jeff here has a solid reason for what they believe. Pay no attention to all the questions that didn’t answer. I’m not the one acting in bad faith. Everyone else is. Except Jeff and Amy.

    The people saying they believed Mandy didn’t have any facts to back it up (and consistently cited made-up stuff) and the people claiming I was a jerk all along couldn’t point to any real examples, or else pointed to _asking for evidence of abuse as abuse_.

    Any remotely sane third party can see what’s going on here so I’m out. I have no control over these comments and I’m starting to look really bad.

    If anybody does turn up to answer any of the questions I asked, somebody please let me know at zakzsmith AT hawtmayle dawt calm . for all the ‘bots out there.

  18. kin permalink
    December 12, 2019 3:11 am

    he wrote on his twitter that he is thinking about suicide every day. i mean this is getting serious. i still think that a chances that he is going to hurt himself are small but you know this is getting real.

    • December 12, 2019 7:37 am

      ‘ihititwithmyaxe’ tweeted, “I think about suicide every day.” and the next day we have Jeff Rients’ blogpost featuring all his thoughts about his friend Zak and the allegations against said friend. I think there’s a good chance there was a connection, that Rients felt his friend needed a show of support, but I hope he was prepared for the hell that this likely to bring upon him. I do not wish him hell, and this is not a threat, but I believe that hell is what he will get. His wife already seems like she was not enjoying proximity to someone with an unpardonable opinion. And Zak takes a victory lap through the blog comments, then resumes his normal operations.

    • Raggi’s Underwear permalink
      December 12, 2019 9:13 am


      He tweeted that? It’s pretty much the equivalent of cutting your wrists “across the street,” i.e. it’s all for attention, isn’t it? You want to do it, just do it. Cries for help are just cries for attention.

    • Nanda Green permalink
      December 12, 2019 1:17 pm

      Hilarious. Is there a betting pool for the date?

      Of course we know it’s fakery and a plea for sympathy or he would have just done it, not blogged about thinking it. Man has no pride, but then again nothing to be proud of.

  19. Timotheus permalink
    December 12, 2019 7:54 am

    Man, what a glorious mess. Zak is too psychotic to see how he has sliced his own throat, Rients getting butfucked and ghosted for sticking by his “friend”, and the poor wife trolling for her dumb lug of a husband.

    The blOwSR is back, bitches!

    Where is Witchiepoo in all this? And Lesbian Witch Boy? Turdkar? That fat loser who used to run the Temple of Demogorgon? Vulcan Stev!?

    Without the answers to these questions, I;m done here.

    • stonefisting permalink
      December 12, 2019 8:07 am

      You rang? What did I miss?

    • Old Man Timotheus' Impotent Rage permalink
      December 12, 2019 8:40 pm

      wows, Gran’pa Timotheus. You still carrying all that butthurt after all this time? And “blOwSR is back?” Almost expecting you to exclaim ” 23 Skidoo!” at this point. Makes sense, since you still play TFT, a game that had its peak 40 years ago. Um, and I think you once said you play it with your friend’s young boys. Ick. Is it that you can’t get a group of adults together or create anything online that makes you jealous and angry at others? Or that the moms and dads won’t leave you alone with the lads on game night?

      Sorry, Pops. While most of these comments are fun to read, you really just come off as bearing bitter hurt rather than the enjoying spoofs and LOLZ. Maybe Rients and the Mrs. can offer you healing hugs?

      • Timotheus permalink
        December 13, 2019 10:46 am

        I gotta admit, it’s kinda cool having my own stalker here.Especially how little I post here anymore. How’d I get inside your delicate little head so bad?

        Try laughing sometime. It won’t help your impotent jealousy, but you might actually enjoy life.


  20. stonefisting permalink
    December 12, 2019 10:51 am

    GentleMEN. Hygge thule and glad helsk. Miss me?

    All reading this need to know that Amy isn’t actually screening comments. They are going up in real time. It’s just that there are too many for the page to load at once so you need to hit the “load more” link right above the ad to rejoin the conversation.

    While I would never urge right action against a member of the White Oerid and Suel races, I did a little digging and “Rients” is a name of Latvian or Lettish origin, probably with some minor Flan admixture so we’re all good.

    • Amy permalink
      December 12, 2019 11:12 am

      Lots of cis het white gamergate guys performing wokeness.

      • Buffet Slayer permalink
        December 12, 2019 11:26 am

        Last I checked I was pretty fat and of a smooth cafe au lait coloring. Since you hate white males so much, you wanna go out? Ditch that fawning milksop for a real man. While I may not be able to run to the end of the block without collapsing, I could punch out a cow, imagine that tonight while lying in bed, I know I will.

      • OA, BD permalink
        December 12, 2019 11:41 am

        Oscar Anderson Likes this.

    • wundergeek permalink
      December 12, 2019 11:13 am

      OK boomer

  21. FixerFixerFixer permalink
    December 12, 2019 12:03 pm

    Bros, i need some help here. I am currently unable to edit the comments for Jeff Rient’s blog. There are a lot of things there that need fact checking and correction. Jeff is too busy to do it so I’ve taken it upon myself to be helpful. Don’t worry about fixing wikipedia. my friend AlexaSmooth is working on that, but bad faith actors keep reverting my changes.

    • FixerFixerFixer permalink
      December 12, 2019 12:30 pm

      I mean AlexaSmooth’s changes. I haven’t changed anything on Zak’s wiki page in months.

      Why does that little box next to my name look like a swastika? am I being called a nazi?

      • Zak Zee Smith permalink
        December 12, 2019 12:31 pm

        If you’re not addressing that, I’m done here.

      • stonefisting permalink
        December 12, 2019 12:34 pm

        88 my man

  22. Nanda Green permalink
    December 12, 2019 1:09 pm

    Yes, hearsay is irrelevant, Jeff. Just because a person says “Zack never raped her while I was in the room” doesn’t make Zack not a rapist. See the Bill Cosby example so aptly provided. So you have chosen to be friends with a rapist. By the way, your D&D blog sucks and lacks even a glimmer of imagination and I would hate to be a player at your table. Plus you might invite some friend over to rape me.

  23. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    December 12, 2019 1:24 pm

    Christmas is early this year! That exchange has really help Zpastic’s Patreon for sure. All that’s left now is for Speaking Manners (aka not Zakattack) to demand his reinstatement on Reddit because the Rients couple have shown they stand with Zpastic! Are they going to get clued when blindfolds and cigarettes are handed out, though?
    Best part is Zpastic confirming his disappointed father is footing the bills. Love that deflection! Is ignoring questions altogether lying when you’re ignoring them do as not to paint yourself as a pushing 50 year old washed up meth head living on daddy’s cash.

  24. Amy "I though when they said I should really try a douche they meant befriend Zak" Rients permalink
    December 12, 2019 2:16 pm


  25. Zak Langouste verified permalink
    December 12, 2019 2:35 pm

    Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace

    Stats tell me the same number of people read these entries as have for years, so I know this’ll reach the people it needs to.

    Recent bullshit aside, a lot of people in gamer land say I am unnecessarily mean on the internet to gamers. All these gamer conversations, long or short, follow this same basic form:

    Zak: “Well here’s the receipt”
    Angry: “I DON’T HAVE TO DEBATE YOU” (leaves)

    Angry (later, to the internet): “Zak is such a jerk, he said I was made of french fries!”

    Ten years of this–since 2009. I still haven’t learned why everyone else is an asshole.

    Point is, even though I have lots of people do that I legitimately to this day do not know why they think that because none of them ever stick around and answer questions long enough to explain what their beef is or why they have it. I (and everyone in real life who sees these things) go around mystified about it–I have no idea what people expect me to do instead of point to the receipt, never have. And, to a one, gamers immediately change their tune in real-life (cons or vidchat) and never say the stupid things they say online, so talking to them’s no help, either.

    So, if you are reading this and you think I am unnecessarily mean on the internet and can:

    -Point to a specific example of a specific instance but I will still demand more specificity

    -Answer all questions about why you thought it was bad, but do know that the questions never end. It’s how I win internet arguments, by attrition. I never surrender.

    Leave a comment. That’s an order. I need comments to pick apart to fuel my overweening narcissism and to take my mind off of my shitty life, that I might end at any time. Okay, maybe not, but I will make some shallow scratches on my writst and post the photos as evidence.

    Talk as if you’re talking in real life: No talking on behalf of other people (“I think people…”), no running away in the middle. I ran away from Jeff Rient’s comments, because I could not control them. Here I am the master and you will conform to my demands.

    No anonymous comments, you need a persistent identity so the conversation can be tracked and make sense. So you can be tracked too. I will compare your IP addresses to those given me by my besties Amy and Jeff, and add you to my enemies list.

    Leave a comment now. I need to win an internet argument soon. My self-esteem is at an all time low after the drubbing I took in the comments of Rient’s post. I think about suicide all the time, just not my own. I love myself too much to end myself.

    • Nanda Green permalink
      December 12, 2019 3:32 pm

      Whoever wrote this, it’s comedic gold standard satire

      • Basic Witch permalink
        December 13, 2019 7:56 am

        Drubbing is right. That was a motherfucking beatdown.

      • Zak Smith verified permalink
        December 13, 2019 6:05 pm

        I wrote this, but it has been changed to say things I never said. I don’t even like french fries. I never said I like french fries. cite one instance where i said that i like french fries or have your comments deleted.

  26. anonymous- quote from Rients page "load more" section permalink
    December 12, 2019 3:14 pm

    Oof, back of the net… [Here’s the skinny.

    People ghosted on Zak not because he’s an asshole. They ghosted on Zak because his pattern of public abuse matches Mandy’s allegations.

    Just read the comments here. I’ll pick some for you and walk you through what they mean about Zak.

    “I admit I was wrong all the time. For example: I was wrong to support most of the OSR authors I supported. Now you should admit you are wrong or someone might decide you’re a narcissist and therefore a rapist.”

    Here is Zak twisting what someone requested – that he admit wrongdoing, if not factually then at least perceptually – into a way to attack his former peers. He then uses this twisting to try and claim that he’s being unfairly portrayed. I should emphasize this because it’s Zak’s entire combative persona: he never argues in good faith, and gets bizarrely personal, whether it’s about accusations of abuse or somebody disagreeing with him about an RPG.

    This is not the behavior of a well-adjusted person. These two sentences ~alone~ are enough to justify the accusations of abuse to me, because it matches the pattern of behavior abusers typically follow. Most abusers are pathologically incapable of admitting fault, and when confronted with their own misbehavior, attempt to turn it around on the person confronting them. Zak is doing it all over the place in this post’s comments, and he did it in response to Mandy.

    “Rehabilitation is only relevant when you’ve done something wrong.”

    Zak is completely incapable of seeing the damage that his behavior has caused to the people around him. His reputation is not destroyed because of these allegations; it was destroyed by ~years and years of purposefully abuse public behavior~. Like most abusers, he thrives on riding the doubt line. Unfortunately, this only works for so long – once people notice the line, the abusive behavior suddenly becomes VERY apparent.

    So far in this thread, he spent the entire time demanding ~concrete factual evidence~ from people who are talking about patterns of behavior he exhibits IN THIS VERY THREAD. His inability to back down from a fight; his propensity to argue in bad faith; his abusive harassment; and, most importantly, his complete lack of a conscience.

    Zak believes he did nothing wrong, and baby, that’s proof enough. He admitted on his counter-blog (which doesn’t mention him by name, so that he dodges search results! cute) that even if the courts ruled in favor of Mandy – very unlikely, given the way defamation laws work in Canada, something Zak is specifically banking on and the reason why he sued there – and he lost, he would never accept the verdict.

    For all his talk of rationality, of looking at the evidence, of believing women (lol), Zak will never, ever, EVER, concede that he is wrong and someone else is right. He has zero empathy. He is incapable of seeing a situation or argument from a different perspective. And, in the greatest of RPG traditions, he always attempts to rules lawyer his way to victory.

    All of this is to say: Zak is a publicly abusive piece of shit. If you want to remain friends with him because he sucks your e-peen, go ahead. But you’ll be supporting an obviously unstable and abusive individual and helping to shield him from the consequences of his extremely shitty behavior.

    If you’re okay being his accomplice, by all means.]

    • Nanda Green permalink
      December 12, 2019 3:36 pm

      Well said, great summary. All too true.

      P.S. Zack is a piece of shit and his artwork is the only thing worse than his writing. I’m sure he’s also a racist. Read between the lines and look very carefully at his history.

      • stonefisting permalink
        December 12, 2019 3:39 pm

        Tell me more!

  27. Kent permalink
    December 12, 2019 5:53 pm

    Muslim scum Labour voters had a bad day.


      December 12, 2019 6:49 pm

      I didn’t know Boris Johnson had the drunken Irish homosexual vote. Good for you, Kent!

      • Kent permalink
        December 12, 2019 7:06 pm

        If I was an Irish homo would I say that the Irish are the greatest writers of the 20th century and homos have that insane fetish for anuses that you do, You Do.Yo uu dooo.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 12, 2019 8:36 pm

        You mean just like you just said?

        Well, if Zak ever says “PROOF KENT IS A HOMO OR YOU’RE A LIAR!”, we can point him here now.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      December 15, 2019 2:53 pm

      Way to lick Tory boots, there, Ian Gaysley.

  28. Kent permalink
    December 12, 2019 6:24 pm

    I have a Kickstarter which I am using to get cash or scotch.

    The idea is a campaign world of racial hierarchy where every race knows their place or gets beat down.

    At the very low end:

    Moss men
    Humus men
    Scum men, sewer men
    Shit men
    Criminal psycopaths
    Sexual psycopaths
    British Pakistanis

    • Kent permalink
      December 12, 2019 6:29 pm

      If that is a success and makes me famous I will do an aione kickstarter. But only if that is a wild worldwide success and makes me rich.

  29. Hehaw permalink
    December 15, 2019 9:13 am

    “maybe he ( i.e. Rients) can get a job playing the cucked husband in Zak’s next porno.”

    Hahah! Nothing makes me laugh more then when someone brings up Fuckface’s side job of using his ding-dong to generate income. Honestly, I’m surprised more people don’t make more jokes about it. It’s perfect fodder to use on him anytime he starts getting smart with people as it’ll always be his Achilles heel.

    And that twitter of himself saying he’s going to kill himself: yup. It’ll happen one day. Especially if he looses this case.

    • Parvel permalink
      December 15, 2019 5:06 pm

      Is Zak even really a “Porn star”? I looked up his credits once (Back when his blog was new) and IIRC “Minor stunt cock on the edges of the Industry” seemed more appropriate. It’s so weird that a guy with genuine accomplishments (Yale, MoMA, his first two LotFP books) would exaggerate and inflate that, of all things.

        December 15, 2019 5:29 pm

        Kent has repeatedly volunteered to be Zak’s fluffer.

      • Evil Half-Orc Assassin permalink
        December 15, 2019 6:18 pm

        It makes him “edgy.”

        (And lol putting “two LotFP books” on the same tier as Yale and MoMA.)

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        December 15, 2019 8:11 pm

        It was to get degenerate, unblown D&D’ers to “perk up” with interest. I looked up his credits years ago, and there were like 8, and a couple seemed non-sex background “punker pukebag #3” roles. This is what I’m gobsmacked by; more people not looking it up immediately after hearing about him. I mean fuckface has many times stated “make my living having sex.” Fuck that. Ron Jeremy might make a couple grand per scene, but he’s a pop culture icon. Most regular male performers are lucky to get 200 bucks per scene.

        Some living, Zak Smack.

      • Hehaw permalink
        December 16, 2019 4:23 am

        Fuckface likes to call himself a pornstar, and I’m certainly not going to argue if he deserves that entitlement, because deep down, he’s utterly embarrassed by doing something as stupid as porno. Haha!

      • Evil Half-Orc Assassin permalink
        December 16, 2019 5:17 am

        Ya know most men in porn make their nut (pun intended) doing the gay and twink stuff, so….

        (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

      • Zak Langouste permalink
        December 16, 2019 1:38 pm

        Hey Bro, ya’ll know that i;m totes a porn star. Zak Smith, BSD or Zak Sabbath, BSD are the credits to look for in the IPMDB. I think once I was billed as Zak Smith, BWC. I;m not really all that B, but I’m very W, and very much a D. The money in porn for me was in not in the gay or twink stuff, but the she-male stuff. I plowed a few stink ditches to pay the rent, before Me and Mandy learned to lure in the waifs at the bus stations and get them to do some DIY porn for a hot meal and a warm bed.

        It’s important to inflate my career as a sex worker. Peeps don’t do internet searches for MoMA, Yale or LotFP. Peeps do do searches for porn.

        Parvel, Bro, That little box next to your name looks like a swastika. Are you a Nazi? is this a Nazi site? There are too many swastikas here. Kent is here. He said my hair looked like Hitler’s moustache once. He’s a nazi.

        Peeps who keep harassing me by asking me If I would like some fries with that, nazis. peeps who believe Mandy, nazis. Peeps who commented in Rients blog, nazis. I demand that YDIS ban all the nazis. If YDIS is not addressing that, I’m done here.

      • stonefisting permalink
        December 16, 2019 2:22 pm

        Zak, I thought you would be the last person to infringe my freedoms of speech, conscience and association and my right to buy World War II themed lingerie at GenCon. Not Okay. Because as I said in my own post on the subject, the need to literally strike out at people who disagree with you is infantile, in a very literal sense.

      • Zak Langouste permalink
        December 16, 2019 5:55 pm

        I don’t even know who you are. i;m going to add you to my enemies list anyway. #3, 485) Fisting, Stone: bald nazi harasser with gay devil goatee and badly plucked eyebrows.

        My first few pornos were performed under the name Chad Thundercock. That’s how the name came into popular culture, from me. Mandy made me change it after it got too famous. She was jealous of my success as a sex worker.

    December 15, 2019 5:37 pm

    Kent looking fetching (felching?) in green at today’s RPG meetup!

      December 15, 2019 5:37 pm

      Isn’t Kent lovely!

    • Kent permalink
      December 16, 2019 5:02 pm

      So, this is the reference photograph of the PrinceOfNothing & Bryce Lynch hook up, without kid Melan photoshopped in.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 17, 2019 11:12 am

      Back to form. Alcohol has invigorated you. Good.

  31. Reason permalink
    December 15, 2019 10:10 pm

    Just as I thought the satire of Zak further above was too good to be true- turns out it’s 95% Zakko direct…

    You literally could not script a better Zak parody than what is going on in his DnDwithpawnstahs comments right now. Either he’s a genius prepping a mental illness/asbergers defence or he’s fucking retarded & you can see exactly how he manipulated, gaslighted & entangled those fringe porn skanks right there in his comments behaviour.

    And that’s the parts he edits so he can “win” & be shown in a good light… yikes.

    • Parvel permalink
      December 16, 2019 4:02 am

      How about those creepy hostage photos he posts of pale porn chicks standing there like deer in headlights holding “I am ___ and this is my official declaration”. So profoundly bizarre.

    • Evil Half-Orc Assassin permalink
      December 16, 2019 5:15 am

      He…he actually thinks this is how people have conversations. He says so. Jesus.

      Just print this out and present it as exhibit A for the defense.

  32. Bigdickduddley permalink
    December 16, 2019 4:33 am

    Those skanks aren’t going to help one bit in his case. One is a convicted felon who was kicked out of the states and another works as a whore in Seattle. The little fat one with glasses even mentioned in her deposition how Fuckface tried to coax her into porn and would play mind games on her and everyone else.

  33. Radovarl permalink
    December 17, 2019 6:23 am

    I’ve literally forgotten who Zak, Jeff, or any of these other wads are, or what they were doing back when I last played D&D. Gotta say I don’t miss the “community”, though. In what must certainly go down as one of the enduring mysteries in the annals of Chrome, and by what I can only imagine must have been the passing whim of the AI that runs Google, my autocomplete brought me here instead of youtube. Are we still calling it the “Old School Renaissance”, now that it clearly has lasted longer than the Old School did? (Really, I’m asking).

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      December 17, 2019 9:18 pm

      It’s the Old School Inquisition now.

    • Timotheus permalink
      December 18, 2019 7:25 am

      Yeah, the renaissance was over in 2010. It is just a marketing term now, deployed by the Pundejos and the Faggis and the Conloids.

  34. Zak Langouste permalink
    December 17, 2019 5:45 pm

    Since literally no-one anywhere ever in ten years has been able to make a defensible claim that I’m abusive, a mob claiming I am abusive is obviously not my fault. It is the fault of that mob being wrong. I define what is defensible, and any claim of abuse must be defended to my satisfaction. A quick look at my internet history will show you that i;m never satisfied with any defense, ergo no-one has made a defensible claim, ergo i’m not abusive.

    Over and over, even here, we’re getting “I DIDN’T ORDER FRIES!!!” and then there’s a receipt and then you run away. No-one can be expected to take indefensible claims seriously. I;m getting tired of being asked about french fries. I will instruct my minion to destroy the next nazi who asks about french fries.

    To the degree it “has to do with my behavior”–mobs generally target people who are well-known in their communities. So in that sense being a well-known opponent of trolls and harassers has, of course, attracted trolls and harassers, but this is preferable to those trolls and harassers acting unchallenged.

    This is a chewbacca defense, but i expect it to work, because i made it. People harass me because I am successful and charismatic and better than they are. Like that one piece of toilet paper that sticks to your shoe, I;m impossible to shake off, no matter what you do.

  35. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    December 17, 2019 7:41 pm

    Q: Do you know what they call French fries in France?

    A: Durka-Durka-Durka, Jihad!

    • Franky Panky permalink
      December 17, 2019 11:00 pm

      A: Pommes Frites. François Marcela-Froideval taught me some very useful French words. He also taught Gary all the French he needed to get nice discounts with Parisian Courtesans. Too bad for Gary he never made it to Paris. The LA prostitutes, on the other hand, were deservedly called whores. Gary couldn’t even bring himself to call them slovenly trulls.

    • Frog Gode permalink
      December 18, 2019 1:11 am

      Pretty much still “frites”, even when it’s served with some suspiciously white-sauced hallal kebab, wich is the case more often than not in our radiant cities. The depressingly white thin stuff served in ‘merican fast food joints used to be derisively called “pommes allumettes”, but McDonalds is now the largest restaurant chain in France and most kids haven’t even tasted the juicy, perfect mix of crispy and chewy delight that is the Belgian frite that once ruled highway stops and Sunday markets.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 19, 2019 2:45 pm

      Goddamn that takes me back to holidays when I was a kid. The French Frite is a delightful fusion of the obstinate french sourness mixed with the bourgondian richness of the belgian pomme frite, the only thing Belgians succesfully maintained after King Leopold. Oh for the rich expanse of the belgian fry, drenched in mayonaise with just a whiff of vinegar. To experience instead the factory pressed desolation of the freedom fry is too much to bear.

      A Reign of Terror upon Mcdonalde Mon Ami. I don’t care if the Yank is bringing wendy’s to the Avondland.

  36. Kent permalink
    December 17, 2019 9:17 pm

    Friedkin’s 1980 ‘Cruising’ is a gallery of YDIS regulars. Compared to the modern plague of 10 year old girl type of fags, ‘Cruising’ 1980 shows you guys in the raw, very ‘tough’ compared to modern fags, but still **homos** and no worthwhile western culture will stand for ‘Cruising 1980’ hairy homos or modern girly immature fags neither.

    I, for one, probably the only one from what I can see in the OSR, stand for the old fashioned MAN, who thinks of homosexuals as a cultural nightmare, a sign of degeneracy.

    Come on Trump. Come on Boris.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      December 18, 2019 7:45 am

      Great, just great, now Brandoch Durr Hurr treats us to his Donald Trump/Boris Johnson spit-roast fantasy.

  37. Kent permalink
    December 17, 2019 10:12 pm

    I just thought of a new name for you guys here at YDIS:


    Get used to it.


    • Kent's Rectum (Prolapsed with Anal Warts) permalink
      December 18, 2019 4:05 am

      Homorons: Eh, that’s so-so. You never were particularly clever though Kent. I give it it a 4 out 10 in the spirit of the season.
      Will we be getting our “stocking stuffed” again tonight doing gay?

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        December 18, 2019 7:46 am

        That’s our Dunning-Kruger poster boy!

      • Franky Panky permalink
        December 18, 2019 1:17 pm

        Tonight he’ll be off to the beautician to get himself trooned out in order to entice and delight all those rapey Paki boys he’s been ogling.

        Homorons… looks like some idiot mis-spelled hormones. Kents hormones currently come from pregnant mare’s piss, FYI if you’re curious. Mmm, Titty skittles.

  38. Basic Witch permalink
    December 18, 2019 9:37 am

    Never go Full Retard:

    • Wrath Of Mike (official) permalink
      December 18, 2019 2:11 pm

      Good day everyone! Here’s the deal: Shawn Cheng is working diligently on the remainder of the book. Having a picture on every page was more intensive thn originally anticipated. Reading between the lines of my own updates, Shawn is not getting paid up front, so is doing all this on “spec.” Since the process has now dragged on 6-9 months longer than originally anticipated, you can see how frustrating that proposition is for everyone. Shawn still needs to eat, but is also required to keep tinkering with the pages to meet Zak’s standard. He’s a perfectionist, we are unworthy, ha ha! We all want this book to look good, and are willing to sacrifice everything else to make that happen for you.

      I admit we took in $74,000, but after a small payout for Zak all monies have now been spent to get our production run. I know a $74,000 print bill blows you people’s minds but we were aiming big. Once the book is released to the general public the physical copies that sell will be slated (as per the explanation in the update) for charity and then refunds. Once those books that have been flagged have sold, all other books that sell will generate revenue that will be split between Zak, as the creator and illustrator of Demon City, and myself, as the publisher at a contractually agreed rate prior to the launch of the kickstarter.

      I’m not a “math guy” but we figure the market for Demon City is huge! Consider that we only pre-sold copies to 1,300 of Zak’s biggest fans so that barely scratches the potential audience. Maze of the Blue Medusa was a sell-out hit, and he left a lot of money on the table (I think I saw the print bill on that was only $28,000 so we are expecting 3x that). At $60, we only need to sell another 1,300 copies to break even on the prnt bill, and then it’s easy money for Shawn and all involved. Heavy metal override everyone! FYI, you can’t tell your friends to reserve extra copies because there is no store yet. My pal ws helping me set that up but he got in a big fight with another of my partners.

      • Poo Poo Ragoo permalink
        December 18, 2019 7:00 pm

        Oh Mike. If you could only see how many unsold copies I’m stuck with now you’d shit your pants. Trust me I know.

        I shit my pants

      • Zakbot permalink
        December 18, 2019 8:18 pm

        No: Sales have steadily increased. I made a good income from games–better than most people, I bet.

        You didn’t fact-check any of this.

    • Marvin permalink
      December 20, 2019 11:23 am

      Lol his voice

      • Basic Witch permalink
        December 20, 2019 12:08 pm

        Yeah, dude has a voice for novel writing.

        Or graffiti.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        December 20, 2019 12:58 pm

        Such cacophony. The voice of a male whose testes produce almost no testosterone. The voice of a manlet. So many people in the industry sound this way. Such grating on the ears. Unlike Me, as a Prince, I should and do sound like a Prince. The mellifluosity of my rich baritone is a delight to all who hear it. Listen for yourself Truly celestial music to all ears. I was a folk singer with a bright future in My youth, but had to leave the scene. Joni Mitchell had started stalking Me. I like a leggy blonde as much as the next guy, moreso perchance, but she’s Canadian. You Gentle Sirs know how I feel about *those people*.

  39. Basic Witch permalink
    December 18, 2019 9:39 am

    I meant to post the comment section. There is some Retard Gold in there. Would almost beworth kicking in a few bucks to be allowed to comment.

  40. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    December 18, 2019 10:03 am

    Fucking hilarious that Mike tried to keep a leash on the Zakattack and now he’s out there being full Zpastic and thanking Kickstarter backers for their financial help in suing Mandy. Mike is desperately trying to do damage control but failing miserably and I can only hope Kickstarter tells him to pound sand with his deletion requests.
    Zpastic must have found some speed in his closet he’d forgotten about cause he’s in his amped up attack chihuahua mode biting the hand that feeds and oh my gods I wish I could hear the conversations with Zakattack and Mike. Zpastic will probably try to sue Mike before it’s all over. Who is winning bigger than Charlie Sheen? It’s Zpastic of course!

    • Basic Witch permalink
      December 18, 2019 12:21 pm

      I hadn’t thought about Zak suing Mike, but I bet Mike has considered the likelihood of this awesomeness.

      Going to be a bad day for Mike when the Pale Whores start posting their character witness statements about how Zak was abused by Mike in this kickstarting process.

  41. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    December 18, 2019 1:07 pm

    In other news not involving a rampant speed snorting chihuahua with a half head of hair, YDiSuckers will like to be kept abreast that Porky and Saltine are maintaining a Silence spell over on the Destination Gaptastic Cuckstarter. It dawns on a few that a shitastic campaign run by a trust fund manchild and a woman seldom seen without a cock in every orifice may not be the best place to put one’s faith (money). Personally I’m hard pressed to believe Wizurds hasn’t shitcanned Saltine cracker yet. Guess the fact that she can take the entire WotC micro penis brigade in one go is a good form of job security. I can understand Saltine not answer the Cuckstopper cause her hands are busy, but what about Porky? What the fuck could that guy be doing?

    • Frog Gode permalink
      December 19, 2019 3:53 am

      My lil Twitty bird told me that PorkHorny is busy sculpting the reward pieces for the moronic backers of his fully-paid, non-existent show. I guess then he will have to make a shelf to display them until his victims cough up additional delivery fees. Scamming is hard work, haters!

  42. Mike E permalink
    December 19, 2019 10:13 am

    Why is Jeff supporting an accused abuser?

    • Franky Panky permalink
      December 19, 2019 12:18 pm

      Access to whores. Amy Rients, judging from her comments on Jeff’s defense of Zak, is quite the fishwife. A manlet can only take so much of that.

      He may be doing it because Jimmy “the deuce-dropper” Dookie lacks the intestinal fortitude to do so. Rients has an interest in the success of LotFAP through his ennie winning Broodmother Skyfortress.

      • Marvin permalink
        December 20, 2019 11:29 am

        Wtf is an ennie? Is that slang for a micro penis? Wtf is a brood mother?? Wtf is a sky fortress for that matter what the fuck is a jeff reints???? All this rpg nerd horseshit is hilarious

  43. Kent permalink
    December 19, 2019 1:22 pm

    Some of you are Homorons, others Excretins.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      December 19, 2019 6:00 pm

      Poor Kent, he tries so hard.

    • Kent permalink
      December 19, 2019 7:06 pm


    • Kent permalink
      December 19, 2019 7:27 pm


      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        December 19, 2019 10:49 pm

        Finally, after a lifetime of failure, a joke which finally lands. Fess up, your rectum actually wrote this one.

      • Kent's Rectum (Prolapsed with Anal Warts) permalink
        December 20, 2019 1:35 pm

        Tee hee hee!

  44. Poo Poo Ragoo permalink
    December 19, 2019 6:31 pm

    Poor Mike Evans. I just read Zak’s latest outburst on the Demon City Kickstarter comments page. It’s finally happened now, hasn’t it Mike? You’ve shit your pants.
    I can tell. I can tell because your story is my story Mike.

    I shit my pants.

  45. I'm Pissing Caltrops permalink
    December 20, 2019 12:26 am

    It’s really too bad that Google Plus was wiped off the face of the interwebz because that’s where the majority of Zakattack’s worst behavior was recorded. Every time he asks for receipts people could point to specific threads, etc. but now they have to go mine the ancient caves of old blogs and whatnot. Has he been scrubbed from rpgnet & storygames?

  46. Frog Gode permalink
    December 20, 2019 6:10 am

    I came to Pundit’s youtoobz for the (actual) kitchen sink backdrop, stayed for his cat’s butt. His latest 5-views offering is an hilarious attempt to distance himself from Zak while trying to cling to that chocolate medal “credit” (I exchanged so many e-mails with Mike!). Also,, Something Awful and YDIS are mean.

    • Basic Witch permalink
      December 20, 2019 12:42 pm

      I listened to some of that. Goddam weird shit…I think Pundit’s parents were arguing in the background.

      But between his voice and Zak’s voice, you could easily put together a Disney movie. They sounds like two woodland creatures arguing about which way to go in the forest. Squirrels? Ferrets? I’m no expert…

    • Franky Panky permalink
      December 20, 2019 1:16 pm

      Not his parents, they are in Canada, but an elderly couple from whom he rents a room. John Tarnowski is a Canadian. Never forget that, because it explains so much about him.

      A 23 minute rant about Zak the Canceled. How so very, very pathetic. I hope that the Cat goes rabid and turns on him, preferably while he is sleeping. A fitting end?

      • Timotheus permalink
        December 21, 2019 7:43 am

        Yeah, it would be fitting if he went out like Mr. Wilde in “The Repairer of Reputations.” In fact, there is a strong parallel between Wilde and Tarnowski, both believing they are controlling events from their shithole apartments.

      • Kent's Rectum (Prolapsed with Anal Warts) permalink
        December 21, 2019 8:42 am

        Tarnowski thought he saw the yellow sign, but it was just a pee pee stain on his undies.

        And this is the literary fun and games that Kent is denied due to his utter lack of wit.

    December 20, 2019 1:58 pm

    Herro YDIS Everybody! You need rawyer?
    I up in Canada now getting ready for the biggest case of my lifetime: Zak Smith vs. Mandy Morbid! My crient Mandy is in good spirits and ready to chop chop suey the other half of Zak’s hairdoo right off his goofball manlet head! We have more sworn testimony, more witnesses, and more screen shots of Zak’s shitty online behavior thanks to successful GoFundMe and all of you generous dedicated YDIS paralegals collecting it all for us and sharing here! Mandy sends many thank yous! Now I have to get back to pro bonering Mandy if you know what I mean rink 😉 rink 😉

    Remember Folks, next time don’t call whores YOU CALL RAWYER!

    • Zak Langouste permalink
      December 20, 2019 11:15 pm

      Great news Dani. Mandy and the rest of her legal team don’t suspect a thing do they? Everything is according to plan.

      Enjoy my sloppy seconds. Pro-bonering Mandy. Have some french fries with that mustyburger while you’re at it.

      • POO POO RAGOO permalink
        December 21, 2019 6:24 am

        You know I would be there to help you Zak, really I would but well, you know.

        I shit my pants.

  48. POO POO RAGOO permalink
    December 24, 2019 7:59 pm


    • Kent's Largely Destroyed Olfactory Bulb permalink
      December 25, 2019 12:07 am

      Great, now you’ve got Kent all hot and bothered. Kent’s been obsessed with Raggi ever since he learned that Raggi shits himself. Raggi’s ass is like the Holy Grail for Kent. There’s nobody quite like Raggi throughout Europe,,, he’s not only American fat, but Southern fat, so Kent wants to bury his face in Raggi’s twin-slightly-deflated-beach-ball butt cheeks. Kent craves the sort of mutual degradation that only dubious-consent analingus can provide.

      It’s gotten so bad that, everywhere he goes, Kent keeps on muttering “Rim Raggi.” He said it in front of class, and one of his students heard it. Kent tried to pass it off as a formula used to calculate the perimeter of a jagged circle, like a table saw blade. He muttered it in the FLGS and told the proprietor that he was looking for the LJN Toys wizard action figure. When he mutted “Rim Raggi” in the liquor store, he tried to pass it off as ‘rum raggy’, claiming it’s an egg-drop rum inspired by stracciatella.

      Kent’s now trying to lure Raggi into his lair in the steam tunnels at the college so he can hold him in durance vile, emphasis on the vile.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      December 25, 2019 12:30 am

      A Merry Christmas to you Jimmy. Now that you are back in America, you can celebrate it again, rather than celebrate annual reindeer slaughter day or whatever pagan crap those Finns get up to.

      Jimmy, please don’t put anything in my stocking. And do not leave any *Yule Logs* on my lawn either. Mrs. Panky gets completely mental when I run over such things with my mobility scooter tires and then drive around inside the house.

  49. Fanky Panky permalink
    December 25, 2019 12:34 am

    Jimmy has apparently solved his pants shitting problem. He has stopped wearing pants. I saw it, now you have to. Merry Christmas to all.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      December 25, 2019 2:45 pm

      Link’s not working. Try this

    • POO POO RAGOO permalink
      December 26, 2019 5:43 am

      I called my good friend Jordan Peterson and told him I shit my pants. Dr. Peterson came up with this genius solution: Then don’t wear pants!

      I should have put a sheet of plastic down first though. Replacement sofas cost more than new pants.

      I shit my sofa.

      • BACLF permalink
        December 26, 2019 9:12 am

        Got a good reason
        For spraying Febreeze in the house.
        Got a good reason
        For spraying Febreeze in the house.
        He was a couch shitter,
        Sofa pooper, yeah.
        It took me so long to find out
        But I gound out.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        December 26, 2019 1:02 pm

        Febreeze won’t cut it.Jimmy will need the big guns. This and most definitely this We used these when we had a feral cat intrude into the back office at one of the bakery locations. What it did to the couch… pretty much what Raggi is doing to the couch in the photo. I hope it’s an Ikea couch.

        Fire solves the problem too, but then Jimmy is sitting, and shitting, on the floor. Maybe get himself a litterbox?

    • POO POO RAGOO permalink
      December 26, 2019 5:45 am

      Also Kelvin Green keeps asking to sniff my sofa cushions.

  50. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    December 26, 2019 4:01 am

    Zpastic has gone batshit in his DaemonShitty Kickstarter. Trying to manipulate the narrative so Kickstopper will delete all evidence probably with the constant mantra of off topic information. At least Mike da Supporter managed to make his Thundarr RPG make some sweet money. Zpastic has completely lost his ever loving mind though. Mike has obviously lost any control over the meth fueled chihuahua he may have had and the Zakattack is ON. Glad Zpastic spent his whole Christmas acting like a Cyber-lunatic which is not a Shadowrun class.

    • Wrath Of Mike (official) permalink
      December 26, 2019 5:37 am

      We have a staggering print bill to pay off and I do care how people feel but unless these unsubstantiated rumors stop spreading I am going to end up with tens of thousands of dollars of debt and unsalable product. Please stop harassing us and stop leaving comments not related to the content and completion of the book that my business partner has to fact check.

      • POO POO RAGOO permalink
        December 26, 2019 5:51 am

        Some advice Mike: You can’t shit your pants if you refuse to wear any.

      • Marvin permalink
        December 26, 2019 7:15 am

        Proof or you’re arguing in bad faith and I will not respond. Indeed I will rage quit, which proves I win. Did you even call any 3rd-tier porn stars to confirm this? Whatever they say is true. This was established by Supreme Court precedent, probably the Dred Scott case.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
        December 26, 2019 1:23 pm

        Is Luke Crane of Burning Wheel still in charge of Kickstarter’s gaming branch? I for some reason can’t imagine Crane giving two flying fucks about Mike n Zak wanting there comments page pruned to suit their narrative. I’m stumped there were enough dumbasses out there to give Enabling Mike money to shit out that Thundarr piece of shit.

    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      December 26, 2019 11:07 pm

      Luke Crane doesn’t give a fuck about RPG folks shitting on his terms of service. Consider that he lets Rich Thomas squat on the platform, running Kickstarter after Kickstarter for second-tier White Wolf IP, despite Richy Rich being years behind on fulfilling them. Even lets The Rich run a secondary account. Tut tut. The message is clear; if you’re mates with Luke, Rule Zero applies.

  51. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    December 26, 2019 1:26 pm

    In breaking news Porky and Saltine have revealed the Destination Faptastic model going forward with communication. Something called the ‘Jamal Method’ anyone know what that’s about?

  52. Reason permalink
    December 26, 2019 6:12 pm

    I can’t wait until Porky & Saltine (in about 2 months) speak vaguely about the “dark times”, “personal issues” or other bullshit which is delaying/vaporwaring their show.

    I’ll shit my pants if they say “real life problems” is the cause – like stealing 100k or delivering on contracts isn’t “real life” because the topic is elf games. That really does seem to be the attitude here. And we have no idea how to make a fucking show…

  53. Reason permalink
    December 26, 2019 6:16 pm

    As for Zak’s latest… meh more of the same. The backer arguing with him actually IS incapable of making a single point & sticking to it or explaining it- then runs away screaming bullying whenever he says literally anything in return. Making to very easy for him to paint his critics as hysterical loonies there imo.

    The Jeff Gameblog comments & his own weird puppet show in DNDPawnstars blog are better examples of his douchebaggery.

    • Marvin permalink
      December 26, 2019 8:47 pm

      Proof or you’re arguing in bad faith and I win.

      Got a link? Sounds hilarious

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
      December 27, 2019 8:35 am

      Arguing with Zakattack in a rational manner IS pointless though. Zakattack has a strawman trebuchet at the ready with freely movable goalposts driven by circular logic. Might as well fire back with irrational shit. People are only reading to see Zakattack spaz out anyways.

  54. Kent permalink
    December 26, 2019 9:00 pm

    As I sit here musing and amusing in my sumptuous library, casting my eyes around breathing heavily at the spines of spectacular editions of lordly white male literature, it occurs to me that the only material I possess which counterpoises the tasteful dispersion about my sanctuary of the heart-churning words of man … is my sordid stained drawerful of hard-disks brimful of slutty white female buttocks, churning in their own way. This, sip, leads me to wonder does my vision portend a future war between sensitive tasteful (but hardy) readers of books and legions of sluts with beautiful gap thighed asses.

    Who would win? Perhaps some accommodation might be reached?

  55. Andy ready-for-butt Action permalink
    December 26, 2019 9:39 pm

    OMG, I am a black boy with an athletic physique (magazine: p12-13 Worthless Black Scum Fags – aug 1977). Reject the elite consensus at your peril, yo! Young white women may have a gap between their thighs but they will never look like hippopotamuses, and if you are not attracted to hippopotamuses you are RACIST.

    • POO POO RAGOO permalink
      December 27, 2019 8:01 am

      A child is black,
      A child is white.
      Together we’ll shit
      Our pants tonight!

  56. Zak Langouste permalink
    December 26, 2019 11:26 pm

    Bros, its true. I won the arguments on the demon city comments. I won i won i won. I won the arguments on my peeps Jeff and Amy’s blog too, because everybody else cheated, so I won by default. I always win on my own blog.

    Peeps hate me because I;m a winner. I;m a success in the porn biz, in the art world and the RPG world. Ya’ll understand this. the bad faith actors who won’t sign affadavits, the stuff about french fries, all of it is just resentment because I am better than everybody else. I tried to be nice, helpful and generous because that is what we superior peeps do in good faith. The french call it noblesse oblige. All i got was a bunch of nerd-monkeys slinging shit back at me. No more Mr nice guy. I’ve got an apartment full of shit thanks to James Raggi, and I;m going to smear it all over the RPG community.

    Can anyone loan me their reddit account for a while?

  57. Dirtbag Hater permalink
    December 27, 2019 5:40 pm

    Looks like Zackery also shits his pants

    Explains a lot really

    • Franky Panky permalink
      December 27, 2019 6:32 pm

      ‘Twas written by Paul “Ettin” Matijevic of fame. I’d like to see his head jammed up Zak’s ass, and Zak’s head jammed up his ass, creating an ouroboros in reverse. They would both suffocate, but meh. Nothing of value lost.

      • Zack is diarrhea permalink
        December 28, 2019 11:07 pm

        “Fame” lol

        Even dancing with the stars doesn’t

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      December 27, 2019 9:55 pm

      I don’t know about Zak shitting his pants, but I do know that he was cut down earlier this year

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      December 27, 2019 10:15 pm

      The following is designated open gaming content!

      D6 random table: Why was Zak slain by a flumph?

      1. Community defense well within purview of Lawful Good alignment
      2. Constant goalpost moving, Gish galloping, and cod-legalese affront to Law
      3. Excessive sockpuppetry seen as Chaotic behavior
      4. Rogue flumph assassin employed by Mike Evans to forestall Kickstarter derailment
      5. Demands for signed affadavits impugn flumph honor
      6. Weird spiky head proves irresistible to amorous flumph

  58. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    December 27, 2019 6:30 pm

    Shitting his cargo shorts at Chik Fill Aye or not the Zpastic patreon is bringing him a whopping $66/month! That’s more money than any nerd that plays elf games sees with their real job.
    Hmmmm, Zpastic was talking about French fries and receipts, is his lame ass working the register at Big Kahuna Burger?

    • POO POO RAGOO permalink
      December 28, 2019 7:48 am

      I can say with 100% certainty Zak absolutely did NOT shit his sofa at Chick-Fil-A.
      Kelvin Green still wants to sniff my sofa cushions though. And my defecated pants.

  59. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 28, 2019 12:36 pm

    I love all this. Bed-shitting Raggi sitting bare-crack ass on the sofa, looking like a road kill Jabba; Zak’s deeper grave digging; his great endless love of his lame French fry analogy (T shirts to follow?); Pundits gleeful “I guess I won!” (T shirts to follow?) Such great gifts for the holidays. The cherry on top would be Zako declaring he and Charlotte Stokley’s herpie outbreaks have synched up.

    That Aussie article on Zak is the best thing about Wako Zako on the ‘nets, whether he shat the jorts or not (in a good and just world he did it. He shit his jorts).

    • Parvel permalink
      December 28, 2019 4:49 pm

      I’ll probably regret asking but what is this “Aussie article”?

    • Reason permalink
      December 28, 2019 7:07 pm

      I can’t stand Pundit;s little circle jerk forum or stand to watch his videos.

      But he seems to be trying to insert himself into this to get some attention- yeah pal, people will be flocking to but Assholes of India now.

      What exactly does he think he won? Was there some kind of beef he was involved in? Did other people even know about it or was he just hurling insults from the sideline?

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        December 28, 2019 10:14 pm

        Pundejo’s funniest moment is his pathetic exercise video… this is a guy who has called other guys soyboys, which makes this extra hilarious:

        I would pay to watch Pundejo and Kent square off for a three-rounder.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        December 29, 2019 7:08 am

        Question: Does he rent that giant forehead out to RPG publishers for ad space?

      • January 3, 2020 10:33 am

        what the fuck

    • Franky Panky permalink
      December 28, 2019 8:13 pm

      The photo of Jimmy is truly repugnant, but you know that someone, somewhere… fap, fap,fap. Dollars to doughnuts, it’s Kent.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        December 28, 2019 10:10 pm

        That’s Kent for ya, rubbing one out while he fantasizes about Raggi and Zak simulating bombing runs over his face.

    • Suck my lollipop permalink
      December 28, 2019 11:17 pm

      Ya know funny thing about his French fry idiocy is guess what? If i order and you make a mistake, the receipt reflects your mistake, not my order. He’s too fuckin dumb to even realize that. Seriously though he is stupid. Doesn’t even know what a witness is, or that stating you believe he’s a rapist doesnt require proof that he is and his whole “what will you give me if you’re wrong” shtick is a fuckin scream, as well as “will you sign an affidavit” hokum.

      Hey zack, saying “i didnt see zack rape her” isnt being a witness. I didnt see oj kill nicole but that doesn’t mean it didnt happen dummy. Boy and he thinks hes smart is the funniest part.

      Oy that guy…i love how fast the lynch mob strung him up back in February and hes been tryin to claw some way back all year. So joyful. The gift that keeps on giving is he is so stupidly narcissistic he just doubles down when there were so many better he could have used to at least not be so hated. But since he’s never wrong and so thin skinned and pea brained all he can do is ramp up the same “teenager took 1 debate class” shtick and try to argue and flail uselessly like don quijote at a windmill. Oy vey what a shmuck

      I also enjoy how he pretends to be jewish to try to deflect criticism. Zack u aint no jew. Jews dont get tatoos. Stop pretending.

      U also aint no artist. We all saw you couldnt pay someone to buy your photoshopped tracings. And if you were you would dump rpgs in a new yawk minnit and go where the real money is, as you pretend. We know it aint so boychik.

  60. Inquiring Minds Want to Know permalink
    December 28, 2019 11:28 pm

    Zak seems like he would have tiny balls, assuming he has any at all. Has anyone tracked down one of his alleged pornos he claims to make? If so, can you confirm he has peanut-sized testes? Also, does he just drip weak droplets of semen due to lack of testosterone and a functional Y chromosome? He looks like an ugly girl. Can you confirm his penis is undersized and flaccid even at its most erect? He seems like the sort of limp-dicked loser who tries to compensate with aggression and hostility, likely because he can’t afford a Ferrari like other small-cock genderbent failures relying on daddy-cash. Also, regarding his purported career in pornography, is he a bottom in homosexual pornos as I would assume is the case? And, if so, can you confirm he takes anal creampies? Presumably for free, since who on earth would pay such a fey little shit to be in a porno?

    • Frog Gode permalink
      December 30, 2019 5:26 am

      Tried to confirm any of those, could not. The guy hasn’t shot anything in HD, or even regular D. Everything I found at my usual providers’ was so “punk” (= grainy as shit) that he could have replaced Mandy whith a punctured bleached-out bagpipe mid-act and I would not have noticed.

  61. Basic Witch permalink
    December 29, 2019 7:45 am

    We are less than two months from the anniversary of that douchebag’s ouster. Start thinking of an appropriate way to celebrate it. Also, what would one call a holiday such as this?

    I just hope it doesn’t fall on Superbowl Sunday.

    • Timotheus permalink
      December 29, 2019 8:17 am

      Well, the victories in Europe and later Japan were called VE Day and VJ Day. So VZ Day makes sense. But VD Day would be more accurate.

    • Nanda Green permalink
      December 29, 2019 11:38 am

      With any luck we’ll be able to call it Suicide Sunday and then forget he ever existed, much like the RPG industry has done

    December 29, 2019 7:39 pm

    Herro Zak and Mike Evans. You need rawyer?

    Good to see worky worky getting done on Demon Shitty! That is just crazy amount of illustrations. Distribute pdfs through it’s better for rpg producers.
    Oh wait no you can’t go to! Eli Kurtz , Robert Bohl and Paul Matijevic (aka Ettin) fuck Zak up ass! They tell on Zak for rapey rapey abuse and he deplatformed again! HAHAHAHAHA!

    Remember folks, next time you no call whores YOU CALL RAWYER!

  63. Quentin Trenton permalink
    December 30, 2019 6:00 pm

    Did zac off himself yet?

  64. Kentucky Kid permalink
    December 31, 2019 6:58 pm

    Hey weasel faced cunt YDIS, where is my comment about the Jews gone?

  65. Zak Langouste permalink
    December 31, 2019 8:04 pm

    Bros, as I’ve said before, in February, hundreds of thousands of Nazi harassers in the online game community aggressively organized themselves on multiple platforms to basically destroy my life (for example: ) based on some total bullshit. They rolled over my rep like Panzers through France. It was a totes blitzkrieg.

    Even though the accusations were proved false pretty much immediately by witnesses of impeccable credibility, the Nazis were extremely successful within the game scene because fans, those useless nerds , just sat by the sidelines and did nothing at all to stop them. They just watched, and ate their damned french fries. Its costs lots of people lots of money and tanked lots of projects and done so much real and measurable damage that legal action is my only recourse. So, after I’ve done suing Mandy, I’m going to sue the internet.

    I -really- do not want to publish game stuff for a community who doesn’t value creators enough to lift a fucking finger to help them. It’s really gross. When I snap my fingers, the nerds damned well better jump. They didn’t when I needed them to rend Mandy and her bad faith supporters. They failed me. Everyone has failed me. Nobody is worthy of me, except me.

    I have some work that I promised people, and I’ll do it, and I am taking the necessary steps to hold all the Nazi harassers who did this responsible, but unless gamers start acting like they have some sort of empathy, guts or conscience I really do not want to go through the harassment and risk involved in publishing just so they get another toy to play with. They don’t understand how a cult of personality is supposed to work. They need to act like the minions and acknowledge me as the master. Unquestioning devotion and support is the price they must pay to me in order for me to continue creating.

    If my minions insist on sending me french fries instead of doing fuck-all, then they things they like will go away. That’s life.

    • Zak eats shit but will he die? permalink
      January 1, 2020 9:48 am

      You know what would really make them sorry? Imagine if you committed suicide. They’d all feel really bad for pushing you over the edge. Of course there is only one way for us to fact-check that.

  66. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 1, 2020 2:26 pm

    That video on the Demon City kickstarter page is horrible. First off, Fuckface’s voice just doesn’t match his wully bully tough guy persona. Kind of a gay, squeaky vibe to it. And does anybody recognize the bitches at that strangely set up, panel like game table? A couple are pretty fugly. Why aren’t his sworn-statement whores there?

    There’s a bizarre dork in extensive Devil makeup at the end who I guess is trying to be funny. Is that The Attack himself? And how is DC distinguishing itself from something like World of Darkness or other existing properties? That tarot card gimmick? The awful “art?”

    • Jethro Bodean permalink
      January 1, 2020 3:21 pm

      He’s supposed to be a tough guy? Looks like a twink poseur punk wannabe who takes jets of hot jizz up the ass to me. Are you sure he is not gay?

      • Zak Langouste permalink
        January 1, 2020 11:28 pm

        Hey Bro, not gay, but I am an accomplished and highly successful sex worker, which means I’m flexible about those things, for money. I never let men cum in my ass. I;m not a bug chaser. I haven’t done anything professionally for a while, since shortly after Mandy made me give up my Chad Thundercock identity. I’d fuck you in the ass for the right price. See my award winning short film, “Gay Boys In Bondage” for an idea of what you’d be getting. You’ll need to supply the ping pong paddle. Don’t bring any damned french fries.

        For my revenge, as part of the legal settlement with Mandy, She’ll have to agree to some bukkake with me, James Raggi, Mike Evans ( I promised him), Dani Jang (my secret weapon on her legal team) Jeff Rients (Amy wants to watch him give Mandy a creampie to the face. Amy’s totes cray-cray.) and 2-3 homeless dudes i pick up at the local bus station. The video will be available to all the peeps who support me on Patreon.

  67. Basic Witch permalink
    January 2, 2020 7:25 am

    So a distribution of nearly two dozen subscribers, then.

    • Zak Langouste permalink
      January 2, 2020 10:28 pm

      More than that Bro. When news gets out about the video, I’ll have scores of new patreon sign-ups. The sponsorbux will be rolling back in.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
        January 3, 2020 6:28 am

        $63 dollars a month now! Big huggy bear dollars! People so afraid of stirring the Zakattack that they prefer to just let their credit card expire than face his eternal disapproval. Zpastic is truly the big money pimp daddy of the oh ess arrrrrrr!

      • Not a Fan of Rapists permalink
        January 3, 2020 7:58 am

        You’re going to be offering a video of your suicide? That would almost be worth subscribing for.

        For your blame the victim note, will it be a prerecorded commentary track, text on screen, or what?

  68. Badmofobrown permalink
    January 3, 2020 9:43 am

    Actually, Fuckface once a long time ago did a j/o video on a faggot site. Even had both a chick and a guy reach in and touch his shit. It must be utterly embarrassing to him, but I guess he needed to pay rent. Haha.

    • January 3, 2020 10:10 am

      Zachary, this is your father again. I’ve tried calling, and leaving you messages on your blog, but you seem to be screening? Maybe you didn’t get the notifications. I know you read this site though. That Spanish gallery that bought one of your pieces just tried to sell it, but there were no bids. The auction house was hoping for 1,600 euros, or about $1,800 in our money. It’s perplexing to me, because everyone always talks about how the art world is exploding.

      We need to talk about your check this month. Maybe you could do another one of those “straight and hungry” videos or whatever they were called to cover the gap.

  69. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 3, 2020 2:44 pm

    Zak Attack seems to have gone to full on comment moderation on all his platforms. Just comments from supporters allowed. Its often hilarious too; some numbnuts or another will try to talk gaming, but Zak is just all “yeah, but if the cowardly nerds in the community don’t take action against injustice, wot’s tha point?” Its all retarded echo chambers now.

    Speaking of retards, Rients hasn’t posted in awhile. He must be chewing on he and the fat woif’s own moronic choices in who they defend on tha interwebs.

    • Basic Witch permalink
      January 3, 2020 2:55 pm

      Is she giant?

      • Nanda Green permalink
        January 3, 2020 3:29 pm

        Wouldn’t she have to be? Have you seen that dude? If she’s not a fat pig, then she must look like Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Plus she’s probably a white woman so there’s that.

    • Zak Langouste permalink
      January 5, 2020 12:09 am

      Bro, just a quick fact-check. Amy is not fat at all. She’s big boned, and festively plump, but not at all fat. Jeff is in the dog house with Amy right now. Nightly pegging without lube, and no internet, as Jeff tells it, are his current *punishments* I did mention that amy is cray-cray.

      What do you think of my bard rip-offs? Premium content, but I’m giving it away. Because i’m just that great.

      I need your help bros. It’s the RPGpundit. He’s been censoring me on his website. Deleting my comments. Having french fries delivered to my apartment. Can you imagine the nerve, deleting valid comments made in good faith. It’s really gross. Brigade his ass. Destroy him. Or loan me your RPGsite accounts, and socks, and I’ll take care of it right.

  70. Reason permalink
    January 5, 2020 1:53 am

    Can’t believe the OSR isn’t burning the internet down for Zakko just to get hold of that awesome ‘zine on troubadors and lutes we’ve all been crying out for.

    You might think I’m fucking with you, but that is literally the bait he thinks will drive the teeming hordes of latent Zak fans into a frenzy of hooker calling to clear his name.

    Man imagine how much richer your games would be with ZAK bards in your games! Yeah man, please come back, we’re begging you.

    I mean if he can do THAT, just imagine what he could do with the thief-acrobat; that’s like literally MINUTES of fun until the mage gets a Jump spell at first level.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      January 5, 2020 2:34 pm

      Zak had better not try and create a Mountebank. That, the Jester, the Mystic, and the Savant were to be in Gary’s additions to the second edition of His game. Gary would not suffer such a twerp like Zak Smith to muscle in on the D&D action. (yes, Zak and muscles. It’s meant to be humor). I guarantee you Kaskoid will flatten Zak if Zak tries. This time of year it would be very nasty, since Kaskoid has snow chains for his death scooter’s tires. He’s also stealing scootypuffs, “liberating” them from his local Walmart and having a friend — the one good with tools– install some AI and RC stuff, so Kaskoid can have his own squadron of drone scooters. I think he means to go after the Shriners again the next time they parade. Expect epic carnage, unless Kaskoid gets too baked the night before and forgets all about it.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      January 5, 2020 4:46 pm

      We don’t want a rapist’s harpists.

  71. Kentucky Kid permalink
    January 5, 2020 4:34 pm

    “Yahweh took it to Heaven”

    From here? My Jew post was too stinky for here?

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      January 5, 2020 4:58 pm

      Too stinky? Try too boring… athe kids would say ‘you posted cringe’- it was so inept, it wasn’t even offensive. Try something different than the rehashed century-old ‘Dearborn Independent’ junk you posted. Even your grandmother could have come up with some better material. Pretend you have an ‘Ashkenazi IQ’ instead of the broken brain you’ve got.

      There are plenty of far-right circlejerks where you can JerQ off with your anime-avatar buddies, where originality is frowned upon. /pol/ and 8kun would be better for you, Durr Hurr.

      • Kentucky Kid permalink
        January 5, 2020 5:19 pm

        That sounds intelligent.

  72. Kentucky Kid permalink
    January 5, 2020 5:17 pm

    My new year resolution prohibits vulgar language.

    Were I to refer to a fellow as uncivil as, say, Captain Kirks Dick Blood I should call him at my most distempered a ‘cheeky mouse’ or ‘an apprentice rascal’. Zak Smith arises as a person ‘intrepid, confident and diligent, yet small’ in my new year mode.

    All the fun is gone just like it felt when I was fifteen.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      January 5, 2020 5:39 pm

      You’re being very unfair to the good Captain, who only wants to see an end to your suffering.

      Your new year resolution should be to stop the continuous failure which marks your existence, but you would only fail at that. There’s no Jewish plot to sabotage your career, you’re just a troglodyte.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        January 5, 2020 7:40 pm

        Troglodyte? No Good Sir, aim lower. Much lower. Gulley Dwarf.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        January 5, 2020 8:32 pm

        I’m actually surprised that he didn’t try to deny this sockpuppet thrice before, heh heh, cock’s, heh heh, crow.

      • Kentucky Kid permalink
        January 6, 2020 8:25 pm

        I was right. You are a very intelligent person, obviously underrated in your work life. You have much to offer the world. Keep your chins up.

  73. John Lennon permalink
    January 5, 2020 6:11 pm

    Imagine if he wasn’t just rewriting the previously published work of superior talents and knew a goddamned thing about bards and D&D. Imagine if he wasnt a closeted homosexual rapist with a mental illness haircut as placeholder for a personality. Imagine if he actually studied debate and rhetoric and knee how to argue instead of the reductive tripe he thinks is clever. Imagine if he had the balls not to erase comments on blogs that aren’t hagiography or fawning. Imagine if his art wasn’t merely photoshopped tracing with a lightbox. Imagine if he actually made porn videos like he pretends to. Imagine if he knew that character witnesses amount to nothing no matter how many blowjob queens he browbeats into vouching for him. Imagine if he realized that saying over and over that allegations against him were proven false because he has useless affidavits from whores stating they never saw him commit rape meant a goddamned thing as evidence. Imagine if he had the guts to sue in Los Angeles County instead of bumfuck Canada. Imagine if anyone gave a bowel movement if he lived or died.

    • POO POO RAGOO permalink
      January 9, 2020 6:18 pm

      No need to imagine: I James Raggi IV gave a bowel movement.
      I shit my pants.

  74. Kentucky Kid permalink
    January 6, 2020 8:28 pm

    I still want to know why my pretty clear analysis of the state and effect of Jewry was deleted by YDIS?

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      January 6, 2020 11:03 pm

      The following is designated Open Game Content: Why is Kent spazzing out about J00z? (d6)

      1. Inability to comprehend constant failure, must blame sinister semitic cabal.
      2. Belief that Jews corrupted math limits him to dead end job in unaccredited trade school.
      3. Circumcised cocks don’t fill his mouth or butt like uncut ones.
      4. Perceived Jewish plot to legalize homosexual marriage cuts into his glory hole customer base.
      5. Envious of Zak and ‘Jewish card’ to deflect criticism for shitbaggery.
      6. Kent is secretly Jewish, self-hating variety- file under ‘shanda fur die goyim’.

    • Kentucky Kid permalink
      January 8, 2020 4:42 pm

      How is that Boy Band you were thinking of starting up for the new year coming along? I hesitate to suggest few traces of youth have survived in your wrinkled leering jowl-face. What was the name you settled on for your band of altar boys, was it …

      … Bumlingus and the Bumbling Cocktarts?

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        January 8, 2020 7:56 pm

        No, it’s Paulie and the Pederasts. The lead singer, Paul, claims to be Irish, but he’s a pop-eyed Morlock with a singing prolapsed rectum who claims that he’s going to be a mathematician. His rectum also claims that it’s going to be a mathematician, and has a more convincing claim. The other band members are an obese guy with long, curly hair and some twerp with a not-quite-mohawk. They can’t play their instruments for shit because they keep sticking their dicks in Paul’s prolapsed pooper instead of practicing.

        As their manager, I am planning on ditching them at the side of the road in the Upper Midwest this winter so they all die of exposure. I expect this course of action will garner me universal acclaim.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        January 8, 2020 11:32 pm

        Paulie and the Paki rape boys. Paulie is the heir to Le Pétomane. His rectum is capable of a 4 octave range. His flatulent rendition of Oh Danny Boy can bring even a stone to tears.

      • BACLF permalink
        January 9, 2020 12:45 am

        Kent’s all torqued up about Pakistanis because he bought cumin powder at an IndoPak store and was enraged that it was actually a spice.

      • Kent's Prolapsed Rectum with Anal Warts permalink
        January 9, 2020 6:29 pm

        Oh Danny Boy,
        The pipes, the pipes are calling – literally! LOL!

  75. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    January 8, 2020 8:16 pm

    I’m losing weight! Down 2 belt notches since April 2019. The change in employment is likely the source of my slightly better health! I don’t know how much weight I’ve lost, since I don’t have a scale, but I have a VA doc appointment next week, so I’ll know then. However, the Holidays have probably set me up a few pounds again, so more walkin’, less talkin’.

    Time to clean out my 10×20 storage unit. I have a bunch of stuff to put on the garage sail-boat. I hope to be completely useless sh!t free by the end of 2020.

    I’m getting rid of the internet. No, seriously. At least until I shop around for something more reasonable.
    I signed up for a 3 month free trial that included internet, cable tv basic package, and land line phone.

    I never watch tv (who needs it when you have internet?) and I have a cell phone.

    The salesman who ‘sold’ me on the 3 month free trial said that I’d be locked into a $90 or so deal, with the option to drop cable tv and phone so I’d only pay $45 for internet.

    So the 3 month trial is over, and they sent me the bill. I called and fumbled speaking with a phone AI for a few minutes before it transfered to HOLD and I waited 20 minutes to talk to a Real Person ™. This directory type person put me on HOLD again for 10 more minutes to talk to a service specialist. This ass-hat broke down the bill for me, and could not/would not offer me any deals, so the long & short of it is:
    $104.44 for all 3 packages.
    47.98 for the TV.
    24.99 for the Internet.
    9.99 for the phone.

    But if I cancel the cable TV, the promo discount goes out the window, so, instead of paying 104.44 a month, they will ONLY charge me… $98.97 a month. (I mean…. really f2cking angry face right now. The angriest I’ve been all year.)

    The short of it is a lesson: Never let a salesman sell you something at your door if you don’t really want everything he’s pushin on you. That package deal is for the whole package, and is never a deal in the end.

    Some of you might think this really is a deal, and it might be, for YOU. I’m on a tight budget and scraping by with a Fed student loan and child support garnishments both concurrent. I’ll be poor for at least the next 10 years. I hope I live that long to give those collectors the finger.

    I’ll be posting more sporadically than usual from here on out, either from the library or the coffee shop.

    – Bobjester

    • Franky Panky permalink
      January 8, 2020 11:36 pm

      You manure coated peasant! You are are not even smart enough to be called an idiot. You are losing weight because you have worms, you dullard. Try washing your hands before you shove all those cheetos into your maw.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      January 9, 2020 6:24 pm

      “child support garnishments”
      They only garnish your wages for child support if you don’t pay it.
      These fatty manchild neckbeards of the blOwSR put themselves and Tenkar’s Turdshack affiliate link purchases before their own children.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      January 11, 2020 12:29 pm

      I remember years ago that Bobjester loser posting about having to use café internet access, and also being chronically underemployed, so no big changes there. But also having storage units (any guesses as to how often he slept there?) and wage garnishments point to not exactly having gone for the brass ring in life.

      Much like Blooey, lots of these old school shits are former military who are broke idiots who can’t take care of their kids. I’d feel for the moms, but these dumb bitches stooped to getting fucked by these wastes of space in the first place. Man, the poor kids why have these nothings for parents. Sad.

      Hey moron, worry less about gaming and take a shot at some form of getting ahead in life. You get free VA health care. That puts you in a much easier spot than a lot of people. Get with the fucking program. Jeez.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        January 11, 2020 2:06 pm

        You assume that they are the biological fathers of their ex-wives’ children. As any lawyer will tell you, don’t assume facts not in evidence. They have been too busy playing elf games to attend to the wives.

  76. Kentucky Kid permalink
    January 11, 2020 2:52 pm

    I have just discovered reddit.

    Bye bye tiny community of morons.

    • BACLF permalink
      January 11, 2020 3:59 pm

      Sorry, Durr Hurr, but you can’t say that you just discovered one of the planet’s most trafficked websites, founded in 2005, and call anyone else a moron.

      It just doesn’t work like that, you’re projecting again.

  77. Reason permalink
    January 11, 2020 4:56 pm

    How long will Kent be gone this time?
    3 weeks?

    • Kent's Prolapsed Rectum with Anal Warts permalink
      January 13, 2020 7:47 pm

      Kent always comes back. Just like an outbreak of his anal warts.

  78. POO POO RAGOO permalink
    January 12, 2020 5:53 pm

    I just walked in on Kelvin Green dry humping my sofa cushions. It looked just like the cover of Fish Fuckers. Kelvin has no shame. He asked me if I shit my pants so he could sniff those too.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      January 14, 2020 5:25 pm

      Jimmy, you should groom Kelvin to replace Zak as the main horse in your stable of writers. The success of Fish Fuckers among the LotFap crowd was no fluke. Kelvin will assure your prosperity for days to come. True that Zak hates Kelvin, much as a bitter old has-been hates his young and more talented replacement, but so what? Zak is cancelled. We are just waiting to hear that Zak fell asleep with his head in the oven, and a ‘no funeral’ sign taped to his back.

      As far as sniffing your pants, just tell him to sniff the sofa. We all know the source of the stains on it, the sofa being one of your ‘pants free zones’.

  79. Zak Langouste permalink
    January 15, 2020 10:25 pm

    As you may or may not know, last February a bunch of internet dickheads got organized and did various stuff on the internet to destroy my life. This included pressuring every single company that worked with me to stop working with me. My minions turned out to be useless nerds, and did nothing except eat some damned french fries and watched me burn. I had a year and literally hundreds of pages of work cancelled out from under me–mostly finished. Although lots of people, maybe 10 or 15, in the online RPG community want to buy this stuff or see it and wrote to me to offer condolences, but not money or sock puppet accounts or any sort of fealty, they don’t seem to be willing to organize to fix the problem or do anything about the people who did it. Where is the blind obedience? Where is the willingness to do as I say without regard for personal safety? Useless nerds. I gave up a sccessful career as a sex worker for them, and this is how they repay me.

    While I will stick around to hold the people who did this accountable, the idea of publishing game stuff and absorbing the inevitable abuse for the benefit of an audience that seems way more eager to fight for what’s wrong than fight for what’s right seems pretty gross. I have not received the adulation that I Zak, savior of D&D, and DIY D&D artist extraordinaire deserve. I’m taking my ball and going home. I’m moving out of LA and back to my childhood bedroom, that my dad has kept exactly as it was the day I moved out. You won’t have Zak to kick around much longer.

    • January 16, 2020 9:02 am

      We really need to talk on the phone about that childhood bedroom. Are you avoiding me?

      • Zak Langouste permalink
        January 16, 2020 10:13 pm

        Hey Dad, you can always reach me at zakzsmith AT hawtmayle dawt calm. I’m having some trouble with my phone right now, but the local library has free wifi, so I can check my email. Please don’t tell me you’ve changed my old room around. I don’t want to live in the basement. It has spiders. You know how I am about spiders.

  80. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    January 16, 2020 1:10 pm

    For those wondering, Destabilizing Faptastic has gotten Porky riled up to say he’s been sick for an entire MONTH!!!?!?!?1111!one!!!!
    He’s likely sick with same illness that affected Jamal and Gareth Skanka causing Fart West and Weezermont to flip around uselessly. At least Saltine took the 26 dicks out of her bag to comment and restore some faith! Oh wait, she had still NEVER engaged anyone in the Cuckstarter. Those hoping to touch her boob are no doubt seriously disappointed. But at least the can remain free of any serious social diseases.
    Don’t worry Saltine plans on running her own cuckstarter with blowies and feelies as stretch goals. Course I don’t think you can stretch her as she’s already able to shove an entire Apparatus of Kwalish up her anal cavity without an issue.

  81. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    January 21, 2020 1:00 pm

    Zak’s comments are so nutso now they need no embellishments. Waxing on about how “gross” it is the community didn’t take to the streets in an Arab Spring to protest his being ghosted. How he has a years worth of good work he’ll now only dangle in front of his daffy faithful on his now worthless blog. And oh god that French fry analogy of his he loves so much. I want t shirts made. Imagine a Macky D’s fry carton with text below “here’s your fries…and your receipt.”

    Gross? What is gross is your hair doo Zak. Gross is your unsexy videos with Mandy and your weak sauce money shots. Gross were the idiots who loved your lame adventures who are now down to a trickle (see money shot comment above).

    In other news, Rients has finally posted again. Tired old comments about monster intelligence in BX. Going from the Zak post debacle to that can give you fucking whiplash!

  82. Xartan Tsauggua permalink
    January 21, 2020 9:41 pm

    I like how his post entitled “My Best Idea Ever” is immediately followed by his worst idea ever.

  83. Bryce Lynch, Broken Clock Assessor permalink
    January 23, 2020 4:45 am

    Ye Olde Kente once said that Thracia was the only adventure you ever needed. He was, I think, correct, at least in general.

  84. hehaw permalink
    January 25, 2020 9:15 pm

    From Z,S:

    “As you may or may not know, last February a bunch of internet dickheads got organized and did various stuff on the internet to destroy my life. This included pressuring every single company that worked with me to stop working with me. I had a year and literally hundreds of pages of work cancelled out from under me–mostly finished…”

    Hahaha! I love it anytime when Fuckface says his life is destroyed. Just knowing he spent so much time on his dumb ass art and none of got sold warms my heart to no end.

    Wanna make some extra cash> Start knocking on Porn Valley’s doors and tell them you’re ready to rent your ass and mouth for some tranny porn, you rapist cunt!

    • Marvin permalink
      January 26, 2020 9:32 am

      Didn’t he claim before his lucrative art career was where its at and he doesnt need all the rpg nerds to get his rent and drug money?

      Sure sounds desperate now. I love it.

      He deserves every bit of animus and loathing he gets.

      I see hes still playing the “i didnt do any thing wrong” and “it was debunked immediately ” game despite it not working for almost a full year now.

      Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        January 26, 2020 12:20 pm

        Zak Princess totally at first was all “I still have art and other things,” but now its “destroyed my life.” Well, of course. Things had gone really well for him towards the end ego-wise. Storming the awards stage with big smelly bed-shitting Hagrid, afterwards hitting the hotel bar with a crowd of suck ups so big they had to go dancing down halls to a private room where he got up on a table and soaked it the adulation. He must have felt like a small pond Rockstar.

        Imagine how that would feel, then imagine it being swiftly swept away. You know its gotta hurt. Its gone, its not coming back, and Zako is no longer in denial. He’s in the acceptance stage, and that’s where the real hurt is. One day he may be able to look back with pride, but now it just hurts to think about those past glory moments.

        So now all he has is sticking around like a ghost of his former glory. An irrelevant gadfly with only the smallest platform to spew from.

        This has been really fun, and he’s not going away so the good times can rock on. Sweet.

      • January 26, 2020 1:47 pm

        I;ve realized that “unlike you peasants, I have literally never had to work a day in my life,” is a bad look when you;re trying to convince a judge that you need a big payoff to silence the chronically ill ex who destroyed yrou hobby career.. much less keep the cash sacks on your side.

      • January 26, 2020 1:49 pm

        Son, please pick up the phone. Your gallery keeps trying to reach you. They say it just rings once and goes straight to voice mail. Also we need to talk about your check.

      • Zak Langouste permalink
        January 26, 2020 7:37 pm

        Dad, email me, please. My phone is no longer active. I’ve had some billing problems. Even tracfone won’t give me a number. Right now, I can only respond to your emails during regular library hours ( 9am to 7pm m-f, 10am- 5pm sat, closed sun) I don’t trust the wifi at the all night donut shop, and I don’t feel safe there after dark anyways.

        I’ve tried to get work in _The _Industry_ but that bitch Satine has bad mouthed me to all of her contacts, and they have spread the word. It wasn’t enough she shivved me in the RPG community. Yes, I know, WotC *made* her do it. We all know that was a lie. But I made it in good faith, to reveal a higher truth. She had to go and twist it in. Now I a highly successful sex worker can no longer get sex work. Maybe the rough trade stuff, but I don’t want to get smacked around an peed on. I don’t want a DP in the ass.

        Send lawyers and lots of money. Dad, get me out of this.

      • January 26, 2020 9:27 pm

        Thanks for laying it out there. I don’t know what a DP is but it doesn’t sound like it’s as much fun as the parties I went to when I was younger. That’s part of what I want to talk to you about… I don’t know if this site is the best place for that discussion. You’re almost 44 years old. The “industry” was all right when you were ten years younger, and you and Amanda were having fun, but is it really the kind of life any of us want as we get older? We need to talk about the lawyers and the money. Maybe you should just come home for a while to get your balance back. We can make pizzas.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      January 26, 2020 5:21 pm

      Mandy’s rapist and abuser Zak calls YDIS a hate site, but it’s really the only place left still talking about him on the Internet that he was cancelled from……

  85. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    January 26, 2020 12:28 pm

    Meesa BACK!

    A month or so ago, my old, old, old computer finally went kaput. I bought a new one on Cyber Monday, but I’ve been lazy about setting it up.

    I am up and running now, though, Baby!

    WaterBob is Back!

    Did you miss me?

    Um…did anybody even notice that I hadn’t been posting?


    – Waterbob

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      January 26, 2020 5:18 pm

      “I bought a new one on Cyber Monday, but I’ve been lazy about setting it up.”

      Jesus Fucking Christ how hard is it to open a box, plug it in and press the power button!!!!!!!

      • Franky Panky permalink
        January 26, 2020 7:51 pm

        and connect it to a monitor (something else that needs to be turned on), and mouse and keyboard and get the Windows 10 working. You think Waterbob bought a Mac? Ha, Arneson, you’re dumber than the dirt you’re napping in if you think that.

        I guarantee you Waterbob spent several hours thinking about his user name before mis-typing in ‘boob’s computer’. He has no clue how to change the password either. The password took him days to create. It’s drowssap BTW.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        January 27, 2020 5:22 am

        You’re showing your age, stale piss stank man!

      • Franky Panky permalink
        January 27, 2020 7:39 pm

        That’s stale catpiss stank man to you, Arneson.

        At least I have an age. You stopped aging a while ago, eh? Dead at a fairly young age. Apparently, the only thing lower than your charisma was your constitution.

        I awaken every morning glad to see what the day will bring. Maybe satisfy Woody O’ The Morn by giving Mrs. Panky a quick bang in the box — my favorite *red box* 😉 😉 — and then tuck into a nice breakfast of oatmeal and donuts — plain donuts, since I need to avoid sugars. I don’t want the ‘beetus and don’t want my foot chopped of like Jim Ward’s. Wilford Brimley, seen in my YouTube video, told me that he would shove my amputated foot up my ass if I got the ‘beetus. He’s very passionate about the subject.

        Ward keeps calling me about his foot. He knows my prowess at dumpster diving. Apparently his amputated foot is itching him like crazy, and he wants me to rummage through the dumpsters behind the hospital where they chopped it off and find it for him so he can give it a thorough scratching. I think the ‘beetus has damaged his brain somehow.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 1, 2020 7:29 pm

        I forgot Mentzer was broke and deplatformed like Zak and probably still on his RadioShack desktop special from 1988 and dial-up.

        Also an observation on this first day of Black History Month: Wakanda is a fictional place, Uganda and The Gays They Eat the Poo Poo is the real deal.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      February 1, 2020 3:31 pm

      That Waterbob dipshit is a mantard supreme. Its OK for an adult to like Star Wars, but that homo takes it to a whole new level with his love of Jar Jar, Ewoks, and all the childish shit everybody else over 10 years old cringes at. You just know he quotes Jar Jar daily in whatever passes for a life.

      And goes months without a computer out of laziness? How did he wack it to child porn? Musta just been cruising the elementary schools in his 1982 van with the “Meesa horny!” sticker.

  86. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    January 28, 2020 11:22 am

    Derpstination Porktastic news! Porky finished the one page dungeon! Only three weeks late for everything and Porko shit out a page of work! Saltines still hasn’t acknowledged she’s even involved with this shitshow. What a great cuckstarter this turned out to be.

  87. Zak Langouste permalink
    February 1, 2020 9:49 pm

    Hey Bros, I could use some advice and you peeps are the only ones who even know I;m still alive, so I;ll ask you.

    I got a job offer in _the_Industry_, only it;s for a Chinese company. They need someone who looks like an extra from the Mad Max movies for their forthcoming “Thirsty Boys” series of flix that feature the sexual antics of 2 gay Chinese men who travel the world. I;m going to be in “The Thirsty Boys Go Down…Down Under” or something like that. Some sort of Australia theme. I;m not sure about the translation. Some of the profits go to help burned up koala bears. It does involve double penetration, but since only Chinese penises are involved, and those are pretty small, I;m sure I can handle it. Mandy used to peg me with some big strap-ons when she was really angry, so I;m pre-stretched. Dani Jang found the job for me, some of his relatives are involved. He also exposed himself to Mandy and her other lawyers during a depositon last week. My lawyer tells me He has a very Chinese penis, and one ugly AF turtleneck.

    I was wondering, can you get this corona virus from anal sex? What should I do to protect myself? This movie may be my way to break into the lucrative International Adult Film Market. There are a lot of Asians who will pay good money to see a round-eye get sexually degraded and humiliated by one or more of their own. Should I take the offer?

    • Thirsty Boy Films permalink
      February 2, 2020 12:21 am

      HA HA. Zak, we spit roast you good, like char siu pork. HA HA!

      Chinese market want to see your rat face get bukkaked in Year of Rat. Bring good fortune.

      Former International Whoreboy for Thirsty Boys movie, Irish Suck Suck Lad, washed up due to prolapse, need new rat face for golden success.

        February 2, 2020 6:04 am

        Herro! You need rawyer?

        Hold on to your ding dong Thirsty Boy Film! Zak need to approve full bukakke clause in exchange for 30% cut of lucrative action figure market payable to ME! I throw in Zak get Backwards Bukkake from my other crient James Raggi for free!

      • POO POO RAGOO permalink
        February 2, 2020 6:09 am

        I shit my pants. I shit my sofa. I’ll shit Zak’s face if I have to.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        February 2, 2020 6:47 am

        Backwards bukkake? Wouldn’t that be a pookake?

        February 2, 2020 7:14 am

        Herro BACLF! You need rawyer?
        Legal terminology is very complex. You are not rawyer. As I am.
        A Bukakke is not a Facial nor Pearl Necklace. Similarly a Backwards Bukakke is not a Pookakke. If you attend prestigious raw school rike me, you would know difference.
        Remember folks: Don’t call whores YOU CALL RAWYER!

      • February 2, 2020 11:31 am

        Son, what kind of site is this? Pick up the phone.

  88. Zak Langouste permalink
    February 2, 2020 11:12 pm

    Hey Bros, bad news. One of the Thirsty boys actors, his professional name is Wang Lo Hung, has the coronavirus, and the prognosis is not so good. Production has been suspended indefinitely. Dani Jang’s cousin is looking for other work for me. I hope it’s hetero stuff this time. I;m kind of excited at the prospect of getting to ‘stuff an eggroll’ on camera.

    The reverse bukakke is somthing I would never do. I stay away from the fetish stuff, but I know that Satine, who specialized in fetish films, once found herself tricked into it. She was expecting a dozen or so BBCs spewing in her face and instead got some HBA’s (Hairy Black Asses) crapping all over her. Porn makers lie to the actresses all the time. It’s part of _The_Industry_. Satine deserves to be covered in shit, after the bitch shit all over me.

    In other news about me, about the cancellation of me by an internet conspiracy of bad faith dickheads, since nobody’s been able to articulate a complaint about me, I have the following to say

    1) (Assertion) There aren’t any legitimate complaints. There never were. I’ve never done anything wrong.

    2) (Assertion) Some of the complaints are just the usual internet sadism, and I;m not into BDSM crap, unless I;m the dom. That’s why I smacked that one chick around when she asked for it, then changed her mind and added her lies about it to Mandy’s lies.

    3) (Conjecture) The more earnest attacks come from people who–although earnest–do not have any sense that they need to be fair to their victim. (Thus the total failure to do easy things that might be required to -check- if an attack is warranted.) The only reason I can think of is that they feel powerless in their lives so often that, therefore, the idea they might have enough power that they might be obligated to be fair to someone else is alien. Its not that they have no sense of fairness (they probably feel the same way about Trump’s immigrant concentration camps that I do, that Trump is literally worse than Hitler and his immigration concentration camps are even more evil than Auschwitz.) it’s just that the idea that they -personally- need to be its agent, and fight on my behalf, is not something theyve ever considered (despite it being, in many jurisdictions, a legal necessity, IANAL). Thus the total impatience with any procedure fairness might require. I define fairness here, and nobody has lived up to my perfectly reasonable expectations. People attack me because they are objectively inferior to me and they know it. Attacking me, their better in everything, is some sort of performatively woke act they do to make themselves feel less hateful about their miserable lives and miserable selves.

    Bros, this is the truth. All I wanted was a cult of personality to praise me and my work, to boost my ego and feed my NPD, and instead, that bitch Mandy convinced everyone to give me french fries instead.

  89. Reason permalink
    February 6, 2020 5:18 pm

    Alexis’ turn to beg for money on the internet.

    To tell him escape some sort of Canadian govt oppression which has him and his wife [who the way he tells it, seems to be a weary & beleaguered homeless refugee… from the USA…].

    He has been summoned to a meeting with minions of Overlord Trudeau who wish to look over him & his woman for signs of plague or treachery. Of course, this impending brush with authority [men… men with jobs!] has reduced our usually haughty & intrepid hero to a grovelling, snivelling wretch, “scared and stressed out of our minds at this point.” & begging strangers for money with which to pay tribute to the minions.

    Oh, and someone has type 2 diabetes. You know, the one you give yourself by being obese, lazy moron who shoves junk down their pie hole all day.

    Is that an OSR trifecta? Inability to cope with everyday life events- check
    Assuming you deserve money for nothing- check
    Diabetes- check

    Ding! Ding! Ding!

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      February 6, 2020 6:51 pm

      I will tell you frankly: neither her nor I could bear the very idea. And so we did the very best thing we could do: we did nothing.

      Christ, what dumbasses! They had eighteen years to handle this.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      February 6, 2020 8:02 pm

      Upon further reflection, Lexi’s post is creeping me out… I’m getting a weird controller/abuser vibe from this decision to keep his girlfriend’s immigration status unresolved, thereby preventing her from getting a job. To me, this is Taliban-style bullshit, which is why the more brain-damaged grogs think it’s ‘romantic’.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      February 6, 2020 11:50 pm

      An American living illegally in Canada? Stupid is as stupid does. Sheesh, And Lexy is one of the brighter lights in the Canadian chandelier. The proper solution to this typical bit of Canada-think — do nothing and all will turn out well — is for Lexy to become a Troon, claim that he and his beloved are a lesbian couple, and take all the Canadians who are harassing him and his girlfriend before the Human Rights Tribunal. British Columbia has one; does Lexy’s province?

      • Reason permalink
        February 7, 2020 2:57 am

        I’m not sure how many more tragic romance couples with no inkling of actually how to finance their lifestyles that Canada can soak up?

        Haven’t [ex] Prince Harry & Meghan Fartle cornered that market now? No wonder Lexie is finding it tougher & tougher to screw the maple from his usual sources.

      February 7, 2020 3:59 pm

      Herro Arrexis of Tao! You need rawyer? Thanks to Mandy Morbid case v. her rapist and abuser Zak Smith, I am esteemed member of the Canadian Loon Bar now! I am still pro bonering Mandy but I can fit you in if you find enough suckers I mean kind-hearted souls to donate to your GoFuckMe campaign so you can pay legal fees.

      You and American wife are very stupid people and also lazy shit sacks, but we can still fix this. Money talk, so do vats of maple syrup if you have any. You call me ready right away!

      Remember folks: Next time, don’t call whores (or marry an American one) YOU CALL RAWYER!

  90. Kentucky Kid permalink
    February 7, 2020 5:25 pm

    RE: alexis, the Tao (don’t forget) of D&D

    One thing I am detecting recently because I have sensitive skin like Sherlock Holmes is that there is a slow flourishing of a boisterous lack of tolerance for morons and scum and fags and feminists and leftists here on YDIS.

    I have to make a stand. Why slow? Hurry up you congenital idiots. Think of yourselves like blacks in the old days with me pricking you along, “Hurry up there blackskins, by god, I have to get to the club for luncheon !”

    Let’s get on the same page. You are vermin, like 1930’s Hollywood monsters, ugly pathetic stupid ill-fittingly opinionated with hearts in the right place, and I am manipulating you masterfully so you don’t realise you are doing my will, like when you curse like your mothers, and pick on gay lads like Zak S.

    The best way you can please me in a trivial way is to donate to the patreon for my new blog I am starting next week. If you wish to displease me … Look in your mirror.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 7, 2020 6:55 pm

      Looks like Reddit ate Kent up and shit him out in record time.

      • FrankyPanky permalink
        February 7, 2020 8:16 pm

        Yes it does. But his forthcoming Patreon, more or less successful than Zak’s? Kent should take the advice I gave to Lexy and become a troon. Patreon is festooned with them, and they all support one another. Kent could get tens of dollars towards his bottom surgery. Front bottom surgery. His rear bottom is beyond help.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        February 8, 2020 5:23 pm

        The funniest thing about Kent is has pathological need to flounce, even though we all know he’s coming back. He’s so inept, on a constant basis… I’m not one to kinkshame, but he’s got to have some sort of humiliation fetish.

        The bit about him just finding reddit in 2020 was just the dumbass icing on the stupidity cake. He’s a wee man, from a wee country, living in a city that’s smaller than Terre Haute, Indiana- he thinks he’s a sophisticate, but he’s a rube’s rube.

    • kentkent permalink
      February 8, 2020 4:24 pm

      I love reddit. Very intelligent people. A different class of gamer.

      I am already loved on reddit. Loved to bits.

      • POO POO RAGOO permalink
        February 9, 2020 7:12 am

        Like you Kent, I too thought I was loved by Zak and loved by Reddit. But then Zak and Reddit broke my heart. They broke my heart and hear me now they will break your heart too. And when they break your heart, you will shit your pants. I know. It happened to me.

        I shit my pants.

        You will feel the doo doo percolating in your stomach, you will not be able to stop it no matter how hard you try. Your sphincter is completely wrecked anyway from your “alternative lifestyle” so it will probably happen very quickly for you Kent. You will shit your pants. The ladies panties you are wearing will be soiled too. It may even run down the back of your legs and ruin your pink ankle socks.


  91. POO POO RAGOO permalink
    February 8, 2020 7:06 am

    Hi YDIS gang I’ve started a new online social media movement:


    I shit my pants and I am proud. Feel free to join in when it happens to you.

  92. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    February 8, 2020 5:25 pm

    Newsflash: guy who wrote 12 Rules for Life failing at life-

    He should have cleaned his room.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 9, 2020 7:15 am

      Totally expected from this alt-right charlatan hypocrite. He deserves all the suffering he has.

      Physician, heal thyself!

      • POO POO RAGOO permalink
        February 9, 2020 7:17 am

        It was Dr. Peterson who called me and encouraged me to start the #MePoo (bowel) movement. He will be joining our ranks very soon. Very soon. He’s percolating now!

      • Franky Panky permalink
        February 9, 2020 12:11 pm

        He’s not a doctor; he’s a psychologist. Marginally better than a chiropractor, holistic healer or shaman. Possibly.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        February 9, 2020 4:31 pm

        He’s about the same level as a homeopath. However, it is obvious that he didn’t dilute his drugs properly. He should have stuck to crystals, and maybe one of those jade eggs that gullible women buy to shove up their vagina. I’m sure it would have fit up his ass too. Oh, and his Tibetan Reiki bowl.

      • Kentish Town permalink
        February 10, 2020 3:30 pm

        Any man in the west who isn’t far-right at this point is either a homosexual or a male-feminist. For certain we can say he didn’t engage in contact, or any team, sports growing up and is a very stupid guy who resents me and his other betters.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        February 10, 2020 7:47 pm

        Belay it, you turnip-titted nancy. Go cry to your boy Milo, you aging twink.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      February 10, 2020 11:12 pm

      After watching the video, I can say that Mikhaila is hot. 10/10 and I would totally comfort her 😉 😉 in these difficult times, even if she is a Canadian. Jimmy, do you think you can introduce me, seeing that you are a friend of her father?

      Jordan is going to be brain damaged from all of this too, which means that you don’t have a chance with her Jimmy. She does look to be the sort of woman who is willing to change diapers for TWO grown men. you might as well be my wingman here. I may write some LotFaP content for you in return. Think how well it will sell.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        February 10, 2020 11:13 pm

        She does NOT look to be the sort of woman who is willing to change diapers for TWO grown men. Mrs. Panky’s cat was playing with the keyboard again.

  93. Frog Gode permalink
    February 10, 2020 8:22 am

    Little Bob poked the hook-nosed bear again and the Sarge .
    feels betrayed
    . NTRPG will be fun!

  94. Kentish Town permalink
    February 10, 2020 3:25 pm

    This place sucks because of its perverts. Reddit is a healthy thoughtful place online. A study has shown that there are less perverts on Reddit even though YDIS has one ten-millionth the number of posters.

    • Kent's Rectum (Prolapsed with Anal Warts) permalink
      February 11, 2020 3:28 am

      Too late! Kent shit his panties.
      I made sure of it.

    • Vulgar and Demented Irishman permalink
      February 11, 2020 12:19 pm

      “a study has shown”
      Put a bung in it, you tragic halfpenny. If you can’t find the perverts on Reddit I wonder how you get the lid off those Red Pills you prize so highly. Stop talking before you embarass me further and stop depriving your village of its twat.

  95. Basic Witch permalink
    February 11, 2020 6:55 am

    Belated happy Z-Day to you all.

    • Geoff "Rape Is Just All Right With Me" Rients permalink
      February 14, 2020 4:58 pm

      Has it been a year already LoL love every day it goes on and he still thinks its gonna blow over if he sues a cripple porn whore, not understanding that she was just the excuse and no one liked him before that

      • Basic Witch permalink
        February 16, 2020 7:19 am

        That he was disliked or despised before she outed him is completely lost on the fool too.

  96. February 11, 2020 10:46 am

    Ya’ll will be celebrating fries day soon when I give that gimp Mandy her receipt for them in court.

    • Basic Witch permalink
      February 11, 2020 11:30 am

      That is fucking hilarious.

  97. Bob Bloodsaw II permalink
    February 11, 2020 9:17 pm

    Hey, everybody, since I’ve become redpilled on the (((JQ))), a lot of cucks and SJW’s are trying to cancel me. I’ve decided to rename my company Juden Guilt, and we’ll be publishing only the finest fashy material. I’m bringing on a new stable of game designers who will adhere to our new strict fashy standards.

    RPG Pundit will be designing a mid-century Uruguayan setting for us, Mengelevideo, despite his mongrel heritage.

    Paul ‘Kent’ Barry will be writing the first adventure for the new setting, ‘They Saved Hitler’s Cock’, drawing on his vast experience as a fascist and sodomite. Sieg Heinie!

    If Kent delivers his product on time, we will option his White Power megadungeon- AIONE: Aryan Individuals Only Need Enter.

    • Zak Langouste permalink
      February 12, 2020 12:09 am

      Okay, Boomer. Go kill yourself.

      February 12, 2020 6:06 pm

      Herro Herr Bledsaw No. 2! You need rawyer? You call me right away ready 10 minute!

      We chop chop suey RPGNow for cancelling your culture with a deplatforming. Calling you Nazi Sympathizer is text book slander (is libel when on a printed matter include Internet)! Clearly you full blown card carrying Nazi Party member in very good standing, not some fat American redneck Nazi sympathizer who vote for Trump who cheer Third Reich on from sideline!

      You have son Herr Bledsaw No. 3 need rawyer too? I can take him on as crient as well.

      Remember Folks: Next time you know call whore or Rob COnley, YOU CALL RAWYER!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 15, 2020 4:36 pm

        Well this is definitely a new one — a racist caricature calling out a racist.

  98. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    February 14, 2020 7:29 pm

    So, after a very long time, I’ve started a rewatch of Star Wars, starting with Episode I. I’ll be watching one per week, by which time RoS should be out on disc.

    So, revisiting Episode I, I have to say that was quite refreshing! My whole view of the series could change with this rewatch.

    When it came out , I was an angry young nerd, triggered by Jar Jar, young Anakin, Gungun “boombooms” , yellow starfighters, and all the usual gripes. But that was 21 years ago. How does it hold up now? I’d say, superbly.

    The political story has just enough depth, and I’d even say poignant commentary – the characters are distinct and bold, Qui-gon Jin and Darth Maul were 2 of the coolest Star Wars characters , and even haters of the Prequels tend to admit that Maul was a complete badass.

    I remembered this movie as “slow”, and thought the first Act does have to do a lot of establishment, it didn’t seem slow to me on this watch.

    Episode I, how I maligned you. It’s a great Star Wars movie. It’s gathered a bit of subjective nostalgia, I admit.

    I’ll probably watch it again before next week – the purpose of this weekly thing is to screen them at my Mom’s house, leading up to RoS which she hasn’t seen. But at my house I have a thumping surround system, which will improve the experience.

    Another thing that stands out to me , and that I like so much about it, is this is the only Star Wars film with a child protagonist. What once was annoying, is now endearing. RoS is rather the polar opposite of Episode I’s bright tone, and heartful sweetness. But nor does Episode I lack in grit, with a demonic Sith Lord and truly awesome saber fight.

    I’m going to go ahead and prematurely (for this rewatch) call the Qui-gon/Obi-Wan vs. Maul saber duel the best of the Prequels, with a slight demerit for Obi-Wan’s final maneuver that still strikes me as a bit BS. Maul got ripped off, what the hell was that? Leaping out, force pulling the saber, lighting it, and running him through. And Maul, established as having cat-like dexterity, just, what? fumbles his initiative?

    Maybe Obi-Wan leveled up while he was hanging there in the shaft, and gained an extra attack per round.

    – Dragonspipe

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 15, 2020 4:33 pm

      This is a prequel alright. A prequel to Draonspipe moving back into his mom’s basement.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      February 15, 2020 11:24 pm

      Dragonsfoot, wretched hive of autism and inanity.

    • Hector permalink
      February 17, 2020 10:23 am

      I’m never unamused by these basement nerds who watch the same fucking shitty movies over and over again, even ones they don’t like. The same assholes who bitch about how crappy Disney Star Wars is still pay to see it three times in the the theatre and buy it on Blu-Ray the day it’s released. Holy fuck what losers. Read a fucking book. And not a fucking Star Wars novel or anything else related to nerdification.

  99. The Tao of D&D is creating RPG content, proving that D&D is not a game, it is an Art Form permalink
    February 21, 2020 1:09 am

    59 patrons, $414 per month.

    [rattle rattle]

    Did I mention we have wonderful free healthcare here?

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      February 21, 2020 7:39 am

      That’s almost five grand (Canadian) per year. He’s going to need that money… now that his concubine is free to leave the house, she might be tempted to get a job and upgrade to a sportier dude if Lexi can’t bring the big bucks in.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        February 21, 2020 1:16 pm

        She’s 61 years old now, and could not get an American man when she was younger , so she had to settle for a the merest of Canadians , which is a BIG step down. There is no upgrade for her, just a pitiful clinging to her *man* until the Grim Reaper pries her fingers off Lexy’s flabby, puffy self and drags her into the hereafter, where she may take up with Arneson, which will be a lateral move. The idea that Arneson would cuck Lexy, that amuses me.

        Consider the pittance Lexy makes, and his leman’s (Gary loved that word) unemployability. I doubt that La Famiglia Smolensk has paid anything in taxes in years. So the healthcare — such as it is — is free to him.

  100. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    February 21, 2020 1:38 pm

    Any news on Mandy Zak lawsuit? Has Mandy moved back to LA $10k richer so she and Zpastic can Zakattack $10k worth of amphetamines together? It slower than Raggy the Last writing the LotFlap referee book in the OSR.

  101. THAC0 Belle permalink
    February 21, 2020 3:59 pm

    Next court date in March

  102. Heh permalink
    February 22, 2020 10:17 am

    Zak Attack will get no money as the skank has none. Maybe a retraction, but that won’t change shit. He’s putting all that money and time into this. What a maroon.

    • Merideth McClintock permalink
      February 22, 2020 7:09 pm

      Isnt that like a tautology or something, he’s an idiot because hes an idiot…i mean have u looked at that wannabe punk artist faggot act at all??? Lolololololol

    • Reason permalink
      February 23, 2020 1:36 am

      I think it ties into his whole- “win” the argument at any and all costs, no matter what philosophy. I really have no idea if he did it. But I know for sure he will badger, argue in bad faith, use logical fallacy, gaslight a mofo, mobilise whatever social, societal, cultural or industry pressure he can- just win a discussion about OSR ideas or whatever. Let alone his whole reputation.

      He’s doing the same thing. I don’t think he is capable of understanding it won’t totally vindicate him or make him king of his hill again. Beginning to suspect he was way more of an autist than I ever suspected & that he may not understand any other outlook or have a shred of self insight…

      You can be that limited & impress/browbeat a few Raggi type neckbeards & strung out hookers for a while, but after a few years anyone not in that little circle… It just looks rabidly limited from the outside looking in.

    • Dipstick permalink
      February 25, 2020 1:46 pm

      You mean daddies money. Fuckface doesn’t have the cash to hire lawyers.

  103. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    February 24, 2020 8:08 pm

    Garycon registration is borked again.

    The server crashed, they put it back up an hour later and it promptly crashed again. Now registration is scheduled for next Saturday. Is TableTop Events a tiered service and Luke is just a cheap-ass? Is it all being run out of someone’s basement on a desktop by a volunteer with a ten-hour certification? This is Garycon TWELVE and it’s still the same B.S. every year? They expect us to just hang around and wait every time like we don’t have lives or anything else better to do? I mean I don’t, but some people probably do. And then the usual weenies coming crawling out of their hugbox, “C’mon guys, it’s for Gary!” “You can go without any tickets! I did once and had a great time!” etc.

    You pay nearly a hundred bucks for this. When is someone going to launch a class-action lawsuit against these clowns? Oh, who am I kidding, we have no class.

    I guess I could always buy the artifact level crown jewel ultra-pass so I can have dinner with The Clan while they laugh at all the peasants and peons, is that what I’m supposed to do?

    • Gina Lollobrigida permalink
      February 25, 2020 12:53 pm

      Wtf kind of loser goes to wisconsin for fun? Fuck garycon. What a lameass event full of nerds. Drop a bomb on these nerd conventions and society loses nothing. I hope Zak is there

        February 26, 2020 2:48 pm

        Herro Gina Rorrobrigira! You need rawyer?

        Okay I got nothing I just wanted to say “Rorrobrigira”!

    • Franky Panky permalink
      February 25, 2020 4:25 pm

      Bote you Oaf! Yes, I know that it is you Bote. You and only you and a few of those Dragonsfart idiots are having trouble. Do you have enough functioning brain cells to figure out why? No. Nobody wants you at GaryCon. And if you do show up, Kaskoid and I plan to give you the ‘Fredo’ treatment. We’ve planned little fishing trip on Lake Geneva with you, and this year we mean it. We’ve chartered the boat and everything.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        February 25, 2020 7:08 pm

        Freaky Franky, I thought you were too high-falutin’ to show up at G-con as a mere nobody now that you’ve been de-invited as a Guest-of-Honor and can no longer rub shoulders with such esteemed gaming luminaries as Saltine. I never got a chance to crash your annual party and now it’s too late! You should at least hang out in the Geneva Resort parking lot handing out fresh-baked doughnuts and stuff. I’ll be watching for you! Can I pay you to camp out in a choice parking spot so I can get some decent parking this year? I can’t afford to pay you much but I can give you all my used character sheets from that weekend.

    • Jessica Price permalink
      February 25, 2020 7:56 pm

      GaryCon is very WHITE and very RAPEY!


      • Zak Langouste permalink
        February 25, 2020 10:44 pm

        And you are…?

      • Jessica Price permalink
        February 26, 2020 7:47 am

        I am your deplatformer. I took down Frank Mentzer. The warty, batrachian corpse of Bill Webb lies broken at my feet! Paizo, Frog God, and Green Ronin have fallen in the aftermath of my wake! I am your worst nightmare.


      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
        February 26, 2020 9:27 am

        Has Jessica got a job yet? I wait with bated breath for the next company to hire her and go down in flames when she freaks out and attacks their consumer base and then doubles down that they don’t need customers to thrive.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        February 26, 2020 8:55 pm

        If she is having difficulties finding new employment it is certainly not her fault. You can read all about her probable Barriers to Inclusion here:

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
        February 27, 2020 12:25 pm

        Tl;dr Google- was destroyed by the patriarchy and I have no place for mutual RPG masturbation and back patting. I guess there was a collective sigh of relief when Gargle Pus went down so Stacey’s ‘friends’ could ghost out with Stacy having a conniption fit and calling them all Notsees for not constantly patting the back and throwing out false platitudes.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
        February 27, 2020 12:30 pm

        Fuck me, irrelevance is so overpowering I combined Anna and Stacy into the same person! My apologies for this oversight on the Wunderfuhrer and Can’tessa person. I’ll just nip off and shoot myself for this oversight.

        Might take awhile, loading a shotgun with phantasmal hands is HARD.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
        February 27, 2020 12:33 pm

        Hmm, response where I realized I combined Anna and Stacy as the same people didn’t go through. Irrelevance is a hell of a drug and Wunderfuhrer and Can’tessa got plenty of that.

      • February 28, 2020 6:23 am

        Wow. wundergeek may be beyond parody at this point. The state of mind that led to her ‘survey results’ blog post brings to mind the Far Side cartoon captioned ‘How nature says, “Do not touch'”.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
        February 28, 2020 9:33 am

        No kidding, so much data to say Anna can’t operate without Google Pus and the intarwebs is unsafe because all other social media is Notsees. She has certainly lost any goal she may have had in the process of trying to catch smoke and chase shadows in the pitch black.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
        February 28, 2020 9:35 am

        Ah fuck me, did I get the pronouns wrong? Wunderfuhrer is they them aren’t they? Apologies for that one being a dead game designer who bottled lightning in the 70’s make me forgetful sometimes.

  104. The Fire Giant That Killed Black Dougal permalink
    February 27, 2020 6:28 am


    From FB:
    I accidentally joined this group. (stumbled across it and clicked on the wrong thing) But have been feeling left out. I bought the 5th ed box set and PHB when it first came out and have been utterly been unable to figure it out. But my old school game is going great. Recently I tried to join 5th ed game on roll20, which gives me the local time when games happen. I found a 5th ed game on monday night at 11PM, but the description said it takes place on Sunday. (I couldn’t figure out what time zone is Sunday when I am at 11 PM on Monday) I joined the game and the game time was now 11 PM on Tues. And they were using discord for sound. There was a link. So I joined that channel. Turned out the same Dm was running multiple games on the same Discord and I have trouble figuring it out. My inquiries about the game were not answered. So I show up for the game at the announced time and now one is there. Not even the DM. When I complained on the discord chat, I was told the posted date was wrong and I should have know that it was not then because it was announced on discord. (I couldn’t find anything such announcement on the chat linked to the game) The next morning, I was deleted from both the Discord and roll20 game. Oh well. I prefer old school anyway.

    • bloodymage permalink
      February 27, 2020 3:42 pm

      Subject: Computer Woes
      I tried a fresh install of Windows XP but I still can’t get rid of this damned Yahoo toolbar!
      I need remote cleaning from a discerning eye.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      February 27, 2020 11:04 pm

      Did you pay your Discord bill?

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 28, 2020 2:23 pm

        I had to take out a small loan and sell a kidney just to pay off my Google+ bill, and that’s not even around anymore!

        Sigh! 😦

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 28, 2020 2:27 pm

        Folks, I hate to ask and have to pass the hat, but my Facebook bill is due and I would like to have a sit down breakfast this weekend, so please send money orders (no checks please as I have no driver’s licence and I lost my military ID card) to: Steve “bloodymage” Willet c/o GENERAL DELIVERY Prescott Arizona. I have always supported gamers of all stripes so please help me out.

  105. Heh permalink
    February 29, 2020 1:56 pm

    Facebook is a money sink, Bloodymage. Better switch to Myspace.

    • BACLF permalink
      February 29, 2020 6:30 pm

      Blooey is the only person in the history of the platform to get a TPK in ‘FarmVille’.

      • bloodymage permalink
        February 29, 2020 7:47 pm

        The Blooson-the older one who is not (as) retarded-had a TPK in Tusks: The Gay Orc Dating Sim so must run in the family.
        Sigh! 😦

  106. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    March 3, 2020 2:27 pm

    Pop Quiz: Which Dragonsfooter is most likely to take Lexi’s Pirate Rape idea and turn it into a full… uhhh… blown scenario?


    • Franky Panky permalink
      March 3, 2020 5:33 pm

      The Oafish Bote. He is a collection of perversions that would cause even Leopold von Sacher-Masoch to shudder. Or that idiot Thorkhammer, a thoroughly unreconstructed deviant. He’d throw in some gay PC rapes too.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        March 3, 2020 5:35 pm

        For the record: I posted my comment before I clicked the link.

      • Jessica Price permalink
        March 8, 2020 10:26 am


    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      March 3, 2020 7:59 pm

      Need a clue?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        March 7, 2020 5:43 pm

        Is this a sequel (or all the rage now prequel) to Fish Fuckers?

  107. Xartan Tsaggua permalink
    March 3, 2020 4:24 pm


    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      March 3, 2020 7:52 pm

      He’s not into Pirate Rape, Geoffrey is into Kiddie Rape.

      ‘Empire of the Pedo Throne’, indeed!

  108. Gary Gygax (VERIFIED) permalink
    March 4, 2020 3:48 pm

    Well, I’ve been dead 12 years now, and I only miss two things.


    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      March 4, 2020 7:31 pm

      You can’t get those in Heav… oh, shit!

  109. POO POO RAGOO permalink
    March 7, 2020 5:20 am

    You will go to GaryCon. You will go to GaryCon and this year the concrud is going to be coronavirus. You will go to GaryCon, you will get coronavirus and you will die. But first you will do something else. You will have a fever. Your intestines will start to revolt. You’ll feel a gurgling inside and your doo doo will start to peculate. You will feel it coming in a rush, and you won’t be able to stop it. A rush before you can get to the flush. You will be at GaryCon and you will shit your pants. You will shit your pants and then you will die.

    I know. I shit my pants.

    • BACLF permalink
      March 8, 2020 11:42 am

      The Masque of the Brown Death

  110. Heh permalink
    March 10, 2020 10:46 am

    Judging by his long time use of shit monsters in his games, I’m guessing the infamous bed shitting scenario was not the first time Raggi threw mud into his XXL undies.

  111. Heh permalink
    March 11, 2020 9:02 am

    Wowsers. Zaks latest post is a hoot.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 11, 2020 11:50 am

      Harvey Weinstein sentenced to 23 years today. I predict a Mandy Morbid victory in Canuck Court tomorrow.

      • Hehaw permalink
        March 11, 2020 5:21 pm

        …and if there is enough evidence, there may even be a criminal investigation. One can only imagine what this cunt is truly like in the real world.

  112. March 11, 2020 12:27 pm

    A question, ya’ll.

    So, given:

    -The online RPG community (including probably you) is made up of game masters
    -The online RPG community is quite capable of cancelling people
    -Luke Crane (of Burning Wheel) is head of Kickstarter for games, teaches tabletop RPG design at NYU Game Center, and has high-level connections all over the RPG industry
    -Luke Crane has quite provably said all of you are abusers:
    All of the games talk about fun and fairness, enjoyment and entertainment, but then they break that cycle by granting one member of the group power over all of the other members of the group. It’s classic power dynamics. Once you have roles of power and powerless, even the most reasonable and compassionate people slide into abuse. [source]

    Why haven’t you either:

    A) Cancelled yourselves for being abusers.
    B) Tried to cancel Luke Crane for spreading misinformation about you



    For some of you, engaging in the comments will be its own reward.

    If you’re sick of this shit and want game content: for every serious and engaged answer, I will give you one content post.

    • Wendy Lockhart permalink
      March 11, 2020 1:07 pm

      So if we don’t seriously engage does that mean you’ll finally go away? It’s a deal

    • Franky Panky permalink
      March 11, 2020 2:51 pm

      You want us to fight your battles for you and in return we get more crap like that Bard piffle you posted? How about, No?

      Since G+ folded, you’ve been a gatekeeper in search of a gate. Luke Crane is the gatekeeper at Kickstarter, and you want his job, no?

      You may as well offer us some of Raggi’s soiled nappies that he left at your hovel. He hides them in the strangest places too.

  113. Reason permalink
    March 11, 2020 3:14 pm

    So it’s another variation on his, “do what I want & beg me to stay, or else I’ll stop posting, I swear it!” routine?

    So far zero fucks have been given by anyone about hearing more of his crap (is he still trying to make bards happen?), I can’t see this one changing things.

    Or is HE dying to just start posting his stuff again but needs a way to do so without losing face after his last flounce off? (when no one raised their torches & pitchforks in his defence)

    • Whatahoot permalink
      March 11, 2020 7:57 pm

      Wow, looks like Zak Attack is going full-out on the last of his fanbase over on DDWP. I guess he’s jonzin’ for some French fries real bad.

      • Gina Mas Fina permalink
        March 13, 2020 10:31 am

        What is DDWP?

        Some kind of gay boy support group for closeted wannabe punks with mental patient hair and squeaky voices?

  114. Anders - totes not a Zak sock permalink
    March 11, 2020 11:36 pm

    Oh man what a load of bullshit. If you can’t sit around with your friends and play elfgames without sliding into cycles of abuse, you and your friends are the bad guys, not everyone who plays rpgs.

    I’m ethically opposed to cancel culture in general, though even if I weren’t I don’t think this delusional neckbeard Crane is worth any more mental effort on my part than it takes to write this post. Hadn’t heard of him before now, and I really don’t see a reason to give a damn what this socially stunted alpha-nerd reprobate thinks about me.

    I’m sure I could, if I wanted, dedicate a great amount of time and effort to marshaling my own nerd-following and possibly effect some sort of change. But I have other, larger real-life concerns and, frankly, the politics of the rpg scene doesn’t rate highly on my list of priorities.

    I realize that this is the same attitude that facilitated your own cancelling. I’ve continued to follow your blog, and I’ll probably buy your future work if it’s good. I’ll do the same for anyone else who gets this treatment, but that’s about as far as I personally am willing to go.

    People like me are spending most of their effort trying to get by and keep their own lives together. Not enough time or energy to engage in internet politics.

    Better people than me, who are willing and able to take take actual action to help, I imagine are likely afraid of having their lives destroyed by online lynch mobs as well. This is a greater cultural problem.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      March 12, 2020 12:16 am

      Zak is too dumb to realize that his fall was due to his years of online harassment, allegations of abuse just made his shunning into something ‘virtuous’.

      Even if he wins his case, he’s still done. He thinks that a judgment against Mandy will ‘exonerate; him, but he doesn’t realize that going after an ex he used as a human shield for years just makes him look like an even bigger D-bag.

      Not even super lawyer Fake Dani Jang can save his ass.

    • French Fried Frog permalink
      March 12, 2020 4:15 am

      That Content-for-Commiseration scheme could work if he capitalized on his (vanishing) strenghts and lured the neckbeards with juicy post-pandemic, tubed barbarian punk porn or shit. But a simili Dragon Mag special about bards ?

  115. March 12, 2020 7:27 am

    Can’t decide if the RPG player population has more personality disorders per capita than the general population, or if online activity such as Twitter and blog posts and comments just make it seem that way. Of all the hobbies I engage in, it’s the RPG players I see carrying on online who seem in the clearest need of good therapy or some equivalent. The people in the FLGS? Generally they seem fine.

    ZS in performances such as his recent blog post about Luke Crane, and ensuing show trial of anyone who commented on that post, does much to reinforce my view of online RPG people being the most troubled of all folk in the realm. Will this guy ever learn to get out of his own way? I can’t imagine that he will; it just seems like he is who he is.

    I really don’t know what ‘Mandy Morbid’ is doing with her GoFundMe money but, I’m starting to think it’s fair compensation to her time spent living with this guy.

    And just to be even more of a shitty gossip: Does Eric Tenkar have coronavirus? Is Gary Con canceled? Where will things stand by the time of Gen Con 2020? Certainly that’s my top priority when it comes to worrying about lethal pandemics: gaming!

    • BACLF permalink
      March 12, 2020 7:47 am

      Gamers having the most personality disorders per capita? Have you ever seen the QAnon freaks?

      Right now, they’re all floating over Tom Hanks getting COVID-19 because he’s (naturally) a Satanic, pedophile cannibal. I wish I were making this up.

      • BACLF permalink
        March 12, 2020 7:49 am


        Curse this small phone, curse these big fingers!

      • March 12, 2020 8:05 am

        You have a point. I find the QAnon crowd somehow entertaining (probably shouldn’t). Low expectations on my part of them, I think, whereas for the RPG crowd I’m more, hey these are smart, creative people, let’s see what they have to say on Twitter… ok this is good… haha that’s funny… oh nice art… ah and, I see this respected person engaging in some incoherent rage thread over a vague grudge… again… now they’re posting about what a peaceful and forgiving soul they are… hmmm….

      • Franky Panky permalink
        March 12, 2020 8:15 pm

        Grognards don’t much care for Tommy Hanks either, due entirely to his willingness to whore himself out by *acting* in that Mazes and Monsters movie. Tommy is the Enemy and he must be destroyed.

        His wife seems kind of nice. I’d *comfort* her when Tommy passed.

  116. I'm Pissing Caltrops permalink
    March 12, 2020 10:42 am

    So Zpastic drags up a 13 year old post about Luke Crane so he can try to get some love from 2 or 3 remaining fans. Or he’s trying to make waves in rpg social media land, which will never happen. Really pathetic. It means he has a warehouse of post about RPGs going back at least 13 years that he can use do try to dredge up controversy.

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
      March 12, 2020 12:15 pm

      Ha, Zpastic shaking his army of broom men and screaming, “Attack!” Mo matter how much he shakes those brooms everyone knows he’s now an impotent little cum stain on the succubus art in the 1st edition Monster Manual. Luke Crane reject his latest Kickstopper and go, “You mad, bro?” So the Zakattack is unleashing his army of… dude can’t even suck poopet anymore. God fucking damn it, Dungeons and Dragons has been so much more enjoyable since that skid mark of a person is a nonentity. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving douche canoe.

      Attack Luke Crane or I’ll sit on the punk rock bard class!

      Is there anywhere to keep up with the court case and Zpastic’s spanking at the hands of Bob and Doug McKenzie?

  117. Rogelio Barrera permalink
    March 13, 2020 10:38 am

    Tenkar aint long for this world. Already a fat fuck with the health problems that entails, looks like a shot who eats dognuts all day while sponging off taxpayers as retired cops will do, gets sick every time he goes anywherr, obviously crap immune system, now pneumona, we known it’s the wu han fever baby, coronavirus is takin down his shitty “send me free stuff and I’ll shill it no matter what shot it is” blog. Eric Tenkar, RIP, fatty liked free shot and pigging out at the public trough. Won’t be missed

    March 14, 2020 6:48 pm

    Herro Suckdungeons! You need rawyer? How about rawyer who WIN CASE FOR MANDY MORBID?

    That’s right! WE WIN BIG in Canuck Court! Nonstop party party all weekend!

    Zak is big loser and now he is OFFICIALLY GUILTY OF RAPE AND ABUSE! You may continue to cancel his culture with total deplatforming without any doubt!

    No more Zak Sabbath sound dope!



    Remember Folks, next time you no call whores YOU CALL RAWYER!

    • Franky Panky permalink
      March 14, 2020 10:04 pm

      How about a link Dani? You’re a lawyer, so there is no way I’m just going to take your word for it. I thought you were on Zak’s side anyway, sabotaging Mandy’s case from the inside. I guess this means you were up to the old the old triple cross, Max Smart style. Well played Dani. Perhaps you are not the idiot we all think you to be.

    • Tenker permalink
      March 15, 2020 12:44 am

      Mmm. Chop suey. You got low sodium soy sauce, Dani? I’m sick as fuck, but I can always eat. But the doc says my blood pressure is through the roof,

      Me and my fellow officers used to shake down the local chink restaurants in town. Get money, free dinners, and blowies from terrified illegal alien China girl waitresses in the back room. The manager would tell them it’d be ok if they complied. Man those gals would cry, but they could really make a dong pop. I miss those little chinky sluts!

    • rak rith permalink
      March 15, 2020 2:31 pm

      Post a fucking link

    • POO POO RAGOO permalink
      March 15, 2020 2:34 pm

      Zak’s silence is all the link you need. He wouldn’t be able to shut up if he had won.

      Also, he shit his pants. Just like I did.

      I shit my pants. #MePoo

  119. rak rith permalink
    March 15, 2020 3:35 pm

    How do you know the case is actually ended?
    Either way, I want to see in black and white that the little cunt lost

  120. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    March 15, 2020 11:24 pm

    What’s the deal with the toilet paper hoarding? I mean, what is the fear? The toilet paper supply is going to be disrupted so you better stock up while you can? Why toilet paper?

    – Bedivere

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      March 16, 2020 2:59 am

      That’s easy, a standard toilet paper roll is 4.1 inches in width, so by placing end-to-end eighteen toilet paper rolls, one comes to a length slightly over six feet, slightly longer than the recommended ‘self quarantine’ distance.

      • Timotheus permalink
        March 16, 2020 11:39 pm

        Some us of need more than one roll. Because reasons. On a bad day for me 3 rolls are not uncommon. Per shit. It can go fast.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 17, 2020 6:34 pm

      This is a shock to Bedivere because like most of the OSR manchildren, he has the telltale poorly wiped buttcrack stink about him.

      Speaking of poorly wiped buttcracks, GaryCon is cancelled now. Frank Mentzer’s unruly eyebrow hair must have violated the social distancing six feet minimum or something.

  121. Confined Frog Gode permalink
    March 17, 2020 2:34 am

    At long last Aergia, Goddess of sloth and procrastinastion, Patron of shut-ins everywhere, has decided to pull Her fingers out and rid us of all those annoying coworkers, neigbours and assorted interlopers. We shall inherit the Earth and do absolutely nothing with it ! I have TP rolls stacked up to the ceiling and am going back to my Through The Ages solo play.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      March 17, 2020 9:05 am

      Through the Ages solo play? Is that a veiled reference to whacking it all day long, starting with ‘barely legal’ porn and ending with GILF porn?

      • Confined Frog Gode permalink
        March 17, 2020 9:35 am

        Monsieur est un connaisseur ! The finishing touch requires a clear view of freshly deceased bodies but soon even this will be possible just by opening the window…

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        March 17, 2020 10:09 am

        By teaching us to loot the dead, Gary prepared us well for this dystopian future.

      • March 21, 2020 2:55 pm

        Silent are the Streets,
        Dodecahedrons gather dust,
        We bandage our red and aching hands,
        With unused character Sheets,

        Where once the neckbeards crowed ‘Nat 20’
        Silence reigns over orange stained tables
        Cans of mountain dew corrode
        Amidst mountains of toilet paper.

        In air-conditioned breaths is intermixed,
        the ashes of Gary’s Legacy,
        Sweet Garycon! Distant Garycon!
        How sharp thine pencils! How profuse thine polyhedrals!
        C-19 Take from me my wretched kin!
        But leave me always Beautiful Garycon!

        – The Neckbeards Lament.

  122. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    March 17, 2020 7:17 pm

    Eat, pee, crap, wash, rinse, repeat.

    Oh, and don’t worry about Garycon. Even for lowly members of the Great Unwashed with tarnished silver badges:

    “All attendees with a GCXII (2020) badge will receive a discount for GCXIII (2021) badges. We have to access the financial impacts before we can tell you what the discount percentage will be for 2021.”

    Shall we start a pool? Being eternally optimistic, I’m going to say a 40% discount.

  123. Basic Witch permalink
    March 18, 2020 10:26 am

    “so far y’alls description of self-Quarantine sound a lot like the 10 years I spent Taking care of a chronically ill person and the year that I just spent never going out because that chronically ill person lied to a bunch of dumb gamers about me”


  124. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    March 18, 2020 11:38 am

    While there are a couple of places I go to, I try to go in low population times. So I’m mostly self-quarantend even though I am well. I’m over 70 years and type 2 diabetic.


    • POO POO RAGOO permalink
      March 18, 2020 4:26 pm

      It’s easy to self quarantine when they’ve chopped off your feet from the diabeetus!
      I’m guessing you shit your pants a lot too. I feel ya – I’ve been there.

      I shit my pants. #MePoo

  125. March 18, 2020 11:51 am

    @Matrox Lusch

    “was your Thursday good overall?”


    I don’t understand what you’re saying about Crane because his new statement was not better than his old one. He probably caused no harm with either, but they both prove conclusively he is not remotely rational and so should not wield power.

    Like if you believe the sky is made of cheese then this may hurt anyone but it tells us you shouldn’t be in any position of influence.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 18, 2020 3:51 pm

      The rest of the world is worried about COVID19, people are getting sick, people are losing their jobs, but Zak is still hung up about something Luke Crane said or did 13 years ago?
      Zak really is a narcissistic piece of subhuman garbage, and win or lose in Canada (spoiler: he lost), he will remain deplatformed and permanently cancelled.

  126. Franky Panky permalink
    March 18, 2020 7:42 pm

    Zakling has something against cheese now? First French fries and now cheese. Is he going manorexic? That would be hilarious.

    DId Zakling get told off for trying to sneak something into Kickstarter? Demon City is still undelivered. New delivery is predicted to be end of April. Did Luke Crane tell Zak to deliver on his current Kickstarter before starting another one.

    The layout guy took another job and put his current, Demon City job on the backburner. Lol.

  127. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    March 18, 2020 10:29 pm

    Kent washes his hands…

  128. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    March 19, 2020 9:41 am

    A dead blog and $51 a month a mover and shaker in the game industry this doth not make. Trying to divert anger at decades old Luke Crane stuff cause Burning Wheel has outsold all Zpastic’s products combined does not paint a pretty picture of a nerd poseur punk that is winning his war on the people he looked down on as bigger nerds than him. Guess those of us with jobs and diverse interests sure showed him. All that left for the Zakattack is a bottle of pills worth $51 and a warm bath. That will show everyone that the world is so much bleaker without this guy. It already feels like he’s dead anyways. Zpastic really thinks he going to taKe over Crane’s job as RPG grand pooba of kickstopper? This dude can’t raise his dick anymore much less an army of fanboys.

  129. Heh permalink
    March 19, 2020 10:59 am

    Mandy stated the other week on her fund me something that makes it seem the case will drag on. And asking for more bucks to fight on. Zaks current posting may be laying groundwork for an imagined eventual return. He got over a Hundred comments on one. And probably a hundred deleted ones.


    • Franky Panky permalink
      March 19, 2020 11:56 am

      Most of those posted “comments” are probably from Zakling’s socks. This pandemic will cause all sorts of disruption, including delays in court cases like Zakling’s harassment suit against Mandy. It just means he twists in the wind a bit longer.

      In other news, it appears good Constable Tenkar won’t be dying in the next few days. I’ve had to get Mrs. Pany and myself matching 12 gauge shotguns so we can defend the bakery from the disease addled hordes that may come a-looting once they realize that someone else has already panic bought all the sprinkles in the bakery section of the Piggly Wiggly. Seriously, who panic buys sprinkles? Canadians, sure, but in America?

  130. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 19, 2020 11:50 pm

    Frank, you’re a shameless piece of shit, but goddammit your folksy beardo-speak has me on team Panky. “good Constable Tenkar” – haha you’re never out of DM mode. I’m gonna spend some of my hiding from the plague time watching you run a con game for mouth breathers and neo-nerd punks and fatty geek girlfriends. You are so right, good King Gygaxfelcher. Seeing Princess Zakina twist and twitch in agony is worth a thousand satisfying cockroach stomps in your old bakery kitchen. May it go on for years.

  131. POO POO RAGOO permalink
    March 20, 2020 12:24 pm

    Today is International World Happiness Day and once again Finland has been ranked #1 Happiest Country in the World by the UN or something.
    Well nobody asked me if I’m happy! Not a single, “Hey Raggi, are you happy in Finland?”

    Well I’m not. My wife dumped my manchild ass, I’m stuck with thousands of copies of unsold product, Zak Sabbath broke my heart into a million little pieces, and something else happened too. Something monumental. Something unexpected and a little frightening. Maybe a little stinky. Who am I kidding it was a lot of stinky. Definitely a little moist too.

    I shit my pants. #MePoo

  132. Hehaw permalink
    March 20, 2020 3:02 pm

    As if French Fries wasn’t good enough, Fuckface has created another masterpiece of assholeblabbery.

    “You have 24 hours to address the last comment made in response to you or all your other comments will be deleted.”

    Truly priceless…

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 20, 2020 6:23 pm

      California is on lockdown now so Zak is confined to his LA shitbox apartment 24/7. The comedy gold this douchebag will continue to spew out will keep increasing and be a great source of entertainment for all during the national health crisis!

    • Franky Panky permalink
      March 20, 2020 10:33 pm

      Don’t forget cheese. Zaklet has developed a lactose intolerance?

      The “keep talking to me or I’ll DFE” is hilarious. Most of those responding are Zaklet’s socks. Is he threatening to delete his own posts? Zaklet has truly achieved manlet status with this. If he can’t “win” the argument, he’ll just pretend that it never happened.

      • March 21, 2020 3:03 am

        look y’all, if the sky was made of cheese and the asphalt made of Fiddle Faddle, we would drink Yoohoo in the Fenchfryverse. For reals. Y’all.

      • Hehaw permalink
        March 21, 2020 8:24 pm

        And just as equally entertaining, is practically everything he says and dose can be used against him in court. Plus, Daddies money is gonna be running out real quick and his own lack of funds… Haha!

  133. Reason permalink
    March 21, 2020 2:59 am

    So what % of Dragosnfoot is expected to survive CVD?

    I’d make a dire forecast but I don’t think any of them have much contact with the rest of society…

    I’m tipping two known deaths & two dozen posters who fade away without ever being noticed.

    • COL_PLAYDOH (Gary Gygax OFFICIAL) permalink
      March 21, 2020 9:54 am

      I predict Tim Kask and Jim Ward will eventually succumb to COVID19 coronavirus and are not long for this world. No one under 65 will care. I will see them again in Hell!

      Mentzer will survive but lack of oxygen due to respiratory distress will make him even more brain damaged than he is now. Franky Panky will lose mobility and any and all control of his bowels. Plus that solitary foot long eyebrow hair of his will quadruple in size. I always hated him but I hate him even more ever since I died and he’s been capitalizing on my name.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        March 21, 2020 12:15 pm

        Arneson, you Varlet! We all recognize that this is you imitating Our beloved Gary. He was My friend. Friend, something you never had, you dessicated, and yet still disgustingly obese, corpse. It’s not a flash-back. You’ve failed, again. Gary’s writing style was very much sui generis. Your pitiful imitation is not even close.

        I will be fine. I have a CPAP and a scootypuff. breathing and moving are not problems. Mrs. Panky has given My manly brows their yearly trimming with the hedge clippers. Ordinary scissors are to weak for the task.

        Kaskoid will survive this. He not only has certain roach-like qualities, but also, at this point, Kaskoid is practically bionic. He’s been experimenting on himself. I think he may be trying to turn himself into some sort of cyber-centaur with his death scooter being his lower half. Or he’s hallucinating, yet again. Phone calls with him these days are hit or miss. He’s still going with his YouTube. His thoughts on the WuFlu here: You know that you’ll watch it. You have the time now. Leave him a comment. He doesn’t bite, much.

        Ward, he cannot die from this. How shall I say it? Well, you’ve heard of necromancy right? Normally it can be achieved by the correct magic rituals. However, if your body is pumped full of the right “potions” you effectively become undead. This is Ward. The *Living Embalmed* might be the term. All those medical procedures.

        To the topic, Gentle Readers: Given the hygiene, or notable lack thereof, of your average Dragonsfoot Idiot, I’d say at least 80% of them will catch this particular pestilence, most likely from store hopping to stock up on the Mountain Dew and the Cheetos. Overall, 15%-20% will succumb, coughing forth giant clouds of phlegm and orange dust as they expire.

  134. Timotheus permalink
    March 22, 2020 12:24 pm

    All that’s going on right now has gotten to me. I really should not watch Fox news. I have to be real now; I’m a senior. I’m overweight. I’m diabetic. My only real human contact is my bi-weekly Fantasy Trip sessions I run for children. Now I can’t even have that.

    I was home alone on Saturday night as usual, but last night it really got to me. I fucking broke down in sobs. This is for fucking real.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      March 22, 2020 4:08 pm

      Aw, you tried hard, Fake Tim. 2/10, for effort.

      • March 23, 2020 11:37 pm

        You suck the guys cock enough to know the real him.

        See what I did there? I can harass y’all too. Fucking tards.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        March 24, 2020 12:08 pm

        Aw, you tried hard, Fake Z. 2/10, for effort

      • Timotheus permalink
        March 24, 2020 12:43 pm

        Well, to be honest Bigs, you haven’t seen me in awhile because your last blowies were about a 2/10 effort. You won’t even give me a little eye contact towards the end anymore.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        March 28, 2020 10:05 pm

        Now, fake Tim, this is a family gaming blog, there’s no place here for projecting your Sotadic fantasies onto Tim and me.

  135. Timotheus permalink
    March 25, 2020 11:28 am

    Haha! Nice to be missed. Have an exalt, everyone! Even you, Jeffblow!

  136. bloodymage permalink
    March 25, 2020 6:00 pm

    The grocery is all out of toilet paper, won’t have any until next week and I can’t stay clean all of five minutes!
    Eat, crap, clean, wash, rinse, repeat!
    And my coronavirus bill is due!
    Sigh! 😦

  137. Franky Panky permalink
    March 29, 2020 4:58 pm

    The first Virtual GarryCon ended today. I was pre-banned from the event by that whelp, Luke. Kuntz was invited. I think he annoyed everyone by praising Arneson at every turn. Shut up Rob, nobody at GARY-Con cares about that pants-load Arneson. Kuntz is the Susan of the OSR.

    Kaskoid tried to participate, but he mistook an old kitchen sieve for his microphone and spent the weekend talking into it. His idiot-players thought he was trying to LARP the effects of a Silence 15′ radius spell and played along.

    Ward tells me that there was one idiot player, fixerfixerfixer was the screen name, who left every game he tried to join because the DM didn’t answer his questions fast enough.

    • bloodymage permalink
      March 30, 2020 1:07 pm

      I can’t figure out how to dine and dash online in this VTT. Sigh! 😡
      It’s official: I’m a dummy!

  138. Hehaw permalink
    March 30, 2020 2:41 pm

    Five bucks a month. 😆

    • Zak Langouste permalink
      March 30, 2020 10:06 pm

      Hey Bro, You need to fact check that. It’s $51 a month. Apologize in the next 24 hours for lying, or I’ll delete your comment.

      If you really wanted to offer me some french fries, you would point out that my Demon City kickstarter, which was to be released in June of 2019, is still in layout. Shawn tells me that he’ll be done at the end of April, but that’s if he does not get this virus Donald Trump is using as a bioweapon. Only 10 months late, maybe. Realistically, it will be over a year late, at the minimum. But it will totes be worth the wait.

      Look what my friend Speakingmanner, I mean Stokes had to say about it, “I can’t wait to get my copy of Demon City! The MANY colorful illustrations are exciting and looking forward to the new style of game play ! If upgrades to this book make me wait a little longer I’m ok with that cus it will totally be worth it!” She totally typed that entire comment in and posted it entirely on her own. I did not help her in any way.

      • Hehaw permalink
        March 31, 2020 10:10 am

        You fucker! It was at $5 buck! I’m sure after I posted, you went off and demanded what few remaining manchildren and whores in your People’s Temple RPG cult to sell off their last rolls of toilet paper so you can buy another dime bag of Mexican tar loaded French fries!!! 🍟

  139. Heh permalink
    March 31, 2020 9:26 am

    Aim for the stars, Zak.


  140. an interested observer permalink
    April 2, 2020 6:16 pm

    man, the curator of this blog is slipping. It’s 4/2/2020 and nothing to say about #SwordReam??

  141. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    April 4, 2020 8:00 pm

    No update involving Adam Koebel deciding to robo-rape one of his player’s characters? I suppose I’d have to actually watch more of Fur Bore-oh-na to figure out if that was the kind of role playing they indulged in and A-Dumb took it too far. I managed to keep my Vampire the Masquerade games from getting all taped so I don’t know why he’d go down that route playing Shadowrun.

    • Zak Langouste permalink
      April 5, 2020 12:00 am

      Hey Bro, I can help you get Adam Koebel cancelled. Email me at zakzsmith AT hawtmayle dawt calm. He’s a harasser. He has no talent. Dungeon World is hot garbage. Nobody should play it. Send me that email and I’ll tell you more.

  142. Zak Langouste permalink
    April 4, 2020 11:53 pm

    Hey Bros, It looks like ya;ll arent paying enough attention to me. I know you want to help me rid the OSR of bad faith and harassers like Luke Crane. There are dozens of ways that anonymous people can help (much of the damage was itself done by anonymous actors).

    If you actually care, email me and I can give you a list.

    • Shannon Appelcline (Verified) permalink
      April 4, 2020 11:54 pm

      I’d never heard of Zak S. before 2013, when he started getting serious flak from the RPGnet mods because he was increasingly a drag on the community. As some people do, he tried to go over the heads of the mods to get a different answer from me. It was a slimy letter. First, he tried to present himself as an authority by dazzling me with his credentials, then he acted like he was doing me a favor by being willing to tell me how the moderation on the forums was bad and could be improved. And, shit, that letter is manipulative when I reread it. He was all, hey I know this probably doesn’t concern you, but if it does, please write me back and I’ll tell you more. Anyone actually wanting to help, of course, would have just told me straight out, but he was trying to establish a power dynamic where I was the supplicant and he the wise master.

    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      April 7, 2020 3:42 am

      Some of us already cancelled Crane for letting his mate Rich Thomas piss all over Kickstarter’s Terms of Service for years and pretend to run his shitty IP licencing shop, so no big loss there. I’m sure he IS an abuser, but isn’t everyone who makes it in this industry some level of abrasive, obnoxious personality cultist who treats their loyal stans with the contempt they deserve and turns out to run a shabby-ass power trip of a game? You’d have to burn down the entire practice of tabletop RPGs to weed all the bastards out, and right now that seems a better idea than ever.

  143. Jon Tarnowski permalink
    April 5, 2020 6:42 pm

    luckily, Uruguay doesn’t have a ‘stay at home’ order, because it’s a country founded on liberty from tyrannical government…

  144. Vengie Sat permalink
    April 6, 2020 12:45 pm

    I don’t think what Adam Koebel did in the game was all that bad.

  145. Ed Dove permalink
    April 6, 2020 1:19 pm

    Today’s update isn’t awesome news.

    It’s not awesome news that Raggi can’t give refunds because the money’s already gone and the project’s way over budget even before the additional tens of thousands of euros it’ll cost to finish & print only the referee book alone — with the monster book, the referee screen and the slipcase costing even more beyond that.

    But today’s update IS frank & forthcoming. And I appreciate that.

    As an aside, what happened to all my friends that used to hang out here at YDIS?

    • Zak Langouste permalink
      April 6, 2020 4:45 pm

      Hey Bro, I can answer your question. If you want the detailed answer email me zakzsmith AT hawtmayle dawt calm. The TL;DR is that I had them cancelled because they were totes harrassers and haterz. I’m going to sue them too, just as soon as my minions figure out who they are, and the courts start working again.

      Raggi can’t give the refunds because I am not returning the money I got from him. I had to spend it all on cleaning and sanitizing my crib after he spent some in it. So many shit streaks. He also managed to get my place infested with roaches.

  146. I'm Pissing Caltrops permalink
    April 6, 2020 6:43 pm

    Wundergeek is bending over backwards to defend Adumb Koebi’llrapeyourcharacterlivestreaming on twitter. What a whore.

    • April 9, 2020 9:33 am

      “Given that I’m a white, mentally ill, non-binary tran with PTSD…”

      Didn’t realize WG had been promoted to ‘tran’! In any case hope a treatment is found for the way of thinking exhibited in those tweets someday. Like Hitler in his bunker.

  147. I'm Pissing Caltrops permalink
    April 6, 2020 6:47 pm

    And Zpastic just closed his court case for himself. Any cross-examining lawyer could pull this out and Perry Mason the fuck out of that little shit. By his own logic, he’s an abuser.

    Playing D&D W/myself
    Adam Koebels’ rapey GMing wasn’t a result of poor safety practice: Everyone involved knew all about Adam and still agreed to play, that’s the real problem. Tyler Carpenter, Shawn Patrick Fanon, Elizabeth Sampat, Adam: people
    to be

  148. Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
    April 7, 2020 3:44 am

    Stay classy, Pundejo.

    • RPGBandit permalink
      April 7, 2020 7:56 am

      I wonder if any of those rpgshite pussies will have the stones to bring this up to Pundejo? Ya know, free speech, inquiring minds wanna know. My guess is No.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      April 7, 2020 9:25 am

      RPG Plagiaristo is such a CHUD, I hope fake swami gets his chakras in misalignment.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      April 7, 2020 12:23 pm

      That should probably read, “Daniel D. Fox, posting under an alias and pretending to be Pundejo by copying his tweets…” Fox has had wood for Pundejo for a while now. I suspect that this is some sort of Gay-Op in defense of his boy Koebel. And to lure in some paypigs to fund his ‘crusade’.

      Why are photos of his wife’s child posted publicly? Instagram can be made private. What kind of idiot… n/m

      OTOH, an internet sissy slap fight between two misshapen, gormless, dwarves of the RPG scene might be amusing. Even better, two of them go into a room and neither comes out.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        April 7, 2020 5:03 pm

        Time to step up, Franky, get The Perilous Dreamer to lure Pundejo, Grim, Kent, Venger, Zak, and Raggi into his van, then sew them together into an ‘OSR Human Centipede’. Better yet, a ‘Human Centipede Ouroboros’, so none of them has the privilege of being the first segment.

        If you want to make it personal, throw in the Odious BOTE, for good measure.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        April 7, 2020 8:00 pm

        Oafish BOTE. How much pity would you have for person sewn to Raggi? More than for the person sewn to Zakling? Honestly, I’d leave Vengar and Kent out of it. They are strictly minor leaguers, not worth the surgical thread it would take to stitch ’em together. I’d add JMal to it. And Kuntz, if I could catch him. He’s one slippery weasel.

        Perilous Dreamer drives an old AMC gremlin. not a van. It may have been blue at one point. How it still runs, heaven knows. We’ve seen him lurking in it in the parking lot at the Lake Geneva resort during past GaryCons. Why didn’t he just come in? I’m certain he was sleeping in it, among other *activities*.

        Maybe stitch them together anus to anus to anus, and make sort of a rat-king ( look it up) of the OSR?

      • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
        April 8, 2020 4:32 am

        I’ll never understand why people post pictures of their too-young-to-consent-to-this offspring on the Internet anyway.

        Diligence reveals mud has been slung both ways. It’s never possible to tell who’s at fault in this post-truth, post-photoshop, I’ve-got-receipts-as-of-yesterday world; yet another argument for burning it all down and starting again.

  149. Jennifer Quillian permalink
    April 7, 2020 9:14 pm

    Obviously they all have micropenis but who’s dick is smallest, Daniel Fox, Tarnowski Urbanski the Mexican Pollack, Adam Kobel, Zack Smythe? And which is most gay? I assume Zack? He looks like a small dick gay boy. Definitely a bottom. Also, who’s erectile dysfunction is worst? I would guess Daniel Fox because no way the kid is his he’s such a cuck fake feminist creep. What do you say?

    • April 8, 2020 8:24 am

      Fox is too opportunistic to be a true cuck. He seems more like a chap who pays vagrants so he can beat them up after he is done reposting Zweihander adds on various social media alter egos.

      RPGPundit sounds more shaken then usual, that lands him a place higher on this very important gay scale you are devising.

      Also the commentary here isn’t getting any fucking smarter. Why do you care who is the gayest? Did your trailer park dad tell you to figure that out before he left to get a pack of Marlboro’s from the truck stop and never returned you stupid fish-faced moron?

      I have told YDIS time and again the necessity of placing subtle memetic kill-phrazes that work only of the inbred but she is too busy fantasizing about Scott’s ample buttocks to heed my wise and scholarly advice.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        April 8, 2020 8:33 am

        Damn, Durr Hurr, you just can’t quit this place. How was your Reddit experiment?

      • Ebeneezer permalink
        April 8, 2020 8:59 am

        My Kentmouflage got you again.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        April 9, 2020 8:17 pm

        You little scamp! Seeing a Simulakent posting about Fox made me think about Fox’ improvised Flounce mechanic.

      • Ebeneezer permalink
        April 10, 2020 11:18 pm

        That was good, but not as good as when Venger picked a fight with simulaCrawford and Kevin descended from the heavens to reprimand all of us like mischievous schoolboys.

      • Scott permalink
        April 30, 2020 3:34 pm

        I have a small butt

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      April 8, 2020 8:31 am

      Urbanski Tarnowski
      Man, don’t have a cow-ski.
      Tarnowski Urbanski
      Cow, don’t have a man-ski.
      He’s such a psycho,
      Putrid Punde-e-jo.

  150. Tenkarma is a bitch permalink
    April 8, 2020 4:18 am

    Looks like 4 weeks to the day of being admitted to the hospital for pneumonia, I now have a secondary bacterial infection.

    Antibiotics start tomorrow.

    Both the wake and the urn display will be held at the NYPD Internal Affairs Bureau until normal office cleaning schedule resumes.

    • Solomon Grundy permalink
      April 8, 2020 8:20 am

      Surprised fatty hasn’t lost a foot to fat boy diabetes already. Sadly new York tax dollars will keep him alive despite his poor health. Taxpayers can die, tax leeches must live!

  151. Ghost of Tom Joad permalink
    April 8, 2020 6:59 am

    Heh, heh. All of the incels on the ‘Shite are trying to get Pundejo to file a lawsuit against that Fox kid. Those dumbfucks don’t realize that discovery motions work both ways, and all of Tarnowski’s skeletons will be exposed as well. But John knows this, and so there is no way he ever gets legal He’ll just keep posting his faggot videos and begging people to spread them around.

    • Pundejo permalink
      April 8, 2020 7:23 am

      Good! The
      needs to be thoroughly investigated for their actions, including spreading misinformation, & whether they were acting under CCP orders.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      April 8, 2020 8:40 am

      Wow, I have Anime Nazi bingo, all in one post…

      ‘sexual predator’

      I feel let down that he didn’t add ‘cuck’ or ‘soyboy’ to the mix. I swear, these fuckers are straight up Ascians, the way they spout their Newspeak.

  152. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    April 8, 2020 9:04 am

    Pundejo accusing Fox of being a ripoff artist is Pure Comedy Gold Adamantine… inject this right into my veins!

    This shit is almost as good as the recent QAnon ‘mole children’ freakout.

  153. Zak Langouste permalink
    April 8, 2020 7:27 pm

    Hey Bros, have you seen this,

    Got him! Here in all its glory, that snivelling Ettin, grovelling at my feet. I am truly the gatekeeper!

    “I, PAUL MATIJEVIC (the user of Twitter account ‘Ettin64’), published, in February 2019, some tweets about Zak Smith (the author of Vornheim, Red & Pleasant Land, Demon City and other publications and also a Consultant on Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition) claiming that he was a sexual predator and abuser. I acknowledge that my tweets were defamatory of him. I have now removed the tweets and I unreservedly apologise to Zak Smith for having made them.

    I also acknowledge and apologise to Zak Smith for the following:

    I repeatedly made statements about Zak Smith for which I did not undertake any suitable fact-check.
    For purposefully evading requests for proof of my claims and avoiding providing counter-evidence or counter-arguments.

    In addition to this apology, I have also made a payment to Zak Smith as a result of the defamatory statements that I have made about him.”

    I’m going to get them all.

    • Ask is Still a Piece of Shit permalink
      April 9, 2020 4:32 pm

      “A payment” = probably a token like a dollar. A Canadian dollar. So what.

      • Zak Langouste Emperor of the Universe permalink
        April 10, 2020 12:33 am

        Hey Bro, you need to undertake a suitable fact-check things like that or my super lawyerz will totes sue your ass, and win. Paul Ettin is an Australian, so he paid me in dollareedoos, 10 of them to be exact. I spent it on a little something to celebrate. I’ve been up 3 straight days now. Bruh, do you know how cool it is to watch the whites of your eyes turn red?

    April 9, 2020 9:09 am

    I, DANI JANG, (the user of Kickstarter account “Dani Jang, Superbacker”, published some Kickstarter comments about Zak Smith (the author of Demon Shitty and other publications but also known as Mandy’s rapist and abuser and other victims) claiming that he was “known for douchebaggery”. I have left these comments up, and I unreservedly apologize to Zak Smith for letting everyone know he is, in fact, a douchebag and serial abuser and harasser.

    In addition to this apology, I have also made a payment to Mandy Morbid’s legal defense fund on GoFundMe as a result of the true statements that I have made about him.

  155. Parvel permalink
    April 9, 2020 9:15 am

    LOL he’s trying to sell his new D&D stuff on OnlyFans now.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      April 9, 2020 3:01 pm

      Not enough eye bleach in the galaxy to cleanse oneself after viewing a Zakling Onlyfans offering. Besides, that place is for plain janes to offer up *lewds* to so seriously sad and thirsty paypigs who don’t have the sense, or courage, to figure out how to get to real pr0n. Who will pay to see Zakling’s baby carrot anyway? Satine tells me he wore a prosthetic in those films of his with Mandy and the bus station waifs.

  156. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    April 9, 2020 12:17 pm

    Got sick of not being able to find yeast at the local grocery store but was able to find whole wheat flour. I now have a small bowl with a mixture of flour and water in it sitting on my kitchen counter. It is a trap, to catch natural yeast floating around everywhere, and if the trap works and I can keep the yeast happily fed I will have a starter for sourdough bread!

    – Mock

    • Franky Panky permalink
      April 9, 2020 2:57 pm

      You simpering idiot! Whatever spores are floating in your kitchen, most of them are pathogenic, given your level of hygiene. Yes, it is possible to get a sourdough starter in this manner, an interesting one too, depending on where you start it. In your case though, whatever grows in your culture will have flaked off of roaches and rats and you’ll probably end up with some ergot infested slime. I do hope you get to enjoy all the wonderful effects of ergotism. Saint Anthony’s fire will keep you “warm”, eh? I know whereof I speak, being married to a successful bakery owner.

      • Reason permalink
        April 9, 2020 5:58 pm

        I can’t believe there’s a single Dragonsfooter who doesn’t have a fungal rash hidden in one of their sweaty folds somewhere if he just swiped a fleshy finger through one. Lazy kunt.

  157. Xartan Tsssagua permalink
    April 9, 2020 5:00 pm

    Hey Gail is finally looking for writers to monetize Gary’s last notes. She’s holding open auditions on Facebook. Sounds promising!

    • Zak Langouste, Saviour of D&D & Awesome Guy permalink
      April 9, 2020 5:46 pm

      Hey Bro, you got a link? I;m totes making killer content now. forget about my failed patreon, see my onlyfans. I saved D&D, so I might as well offer some content to save Gary’s legacy. How about some rapey robots? Rapey bard robots? I hear Gail has some problems with Hollywood. I still have a few connections to the film industry. Satine didn’t destroy all my contacts. My lawyerz totes have eveyone running scared now that they’ve whooped ass on Paul Ettin so all sorts of peeps are crawling back begging me for forgiveness. I;m back baby!

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
        April 9, 2020 7:06 pm

        Funny thing is Paul’s gofundme stands to make more money than Zpastic’s lawyer got. I think sir Paul Eaton Hawg will thank Zpastic for making him money. Keep winning Zpastic!

  158. Zak Puppet permalink
    April 10, 2020 1:17 am

    Zak is either an utter imbecile or thinks everyone else is if he thinks getting a result in his favour from a broken legal process on the other side of the planet shows “the fact that the accusations have been proved false.” [in responses to deluge of further bad feeling on KS]

    The comments on Ettin’s gofundme seem to indicate the former and can be recommended reading as a pick-me-up in these challenging times

    • Ass Yeast permalink
      April 10, 2020 4:04 pm

      This manchild is either the biggest buffoon on the planet or some genius conman who found a way to make an easy $7k. But I’ll take door number one as only a total idiot would pay one nickel to some broke-ass, punk rock, porno dude living in a shitbox apartment half a world away. He should just end it all and lick every door knob in a China for being such a sissy fat boy.

    • Quincy Mbeki permalink
      April 11, 2020 10:50 am

      Amusing. They are mad that you can’t smear someone in public by saying bad things about them without evidence. Makes total sense since that is their entire strategy when pushing their agenda.

      Zach is an asshole but this is a good thing for all of us.

      • Ass Yeast permalink
        April 13, 2020 3:22 pm

        Zprincesse’s wins mean very little. He’s scoring only on little crybabies like that Ozzy Manchild who gave in so easily.

  159. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    April 10, 2020 5:19 am

    Zpastic’s army of suck poopets is on the move! Pundejo’s RPGShitters cautiously pat him on the back claiming that his pursuit of broke assed RPG people in countries with horribly weak laws that favor trust fund manbabies like Zpastic proved he was innocent like they always knew he was. Hopefully Zpastic sues Rpgpudpit to take over the Shite as part of his settlement as well.
    Biggest mistake Eaton made was not turning to the community for immediate help to fight Zpastic’s trust fund fueled lawsuit initially but I understand getting the shit scared out of you (Zakattack knows about spontaneous shitting) when you’re a normal person and suddenly you get blindsided by a very real and expensive lawyer.
    Fortunately Zpastic’s army is still made up of broom men so he’ll fade away again after this hiccup. Just nice to know a pandemic hasn’t affected Zpastic’s trust fund where so many have lost their jobs the Zakattack hasn’t blinked in his meth fueled pursuit of selective legal wrangling.
    I’m sure his LonelyFans initiative is going to be a smashing success! Hopefully his dad and mom become his OnlyFans so they can make him look successful. I’m sure Zpastic is still bitter his dad dropped from his Patreon.

    • Ass yeast permalink
      April 10, 2020 5:56 pm

      Just looking at that Fatboy, you can tell he’s a total dumbfuck and was too stupid by his own fears over boiler plate letter from Zakholic’s lawyer. Even then he could of defended himself easily as there’s only so much Zherpie and his daddy’s ambulance chaser could do being that they’re half a world away. Hey Fatboy, I got some real good real estate in a Florida swamp is like to sell ya.

  160. Heh permalink
    April 10, 2020 2:29 pm

    His patreon hasn’t increased, so he maybe overestimating his value to those few faithful clinging on. So maybe he’ll make a few bucks off the other thing, but Even God coming down and proclaiming him the Messiah won’t be winning him any new friends. The more he sues the more he is going to be hated. The dumb fuck is his own worst enemy.


    • Timotheus permalink
      April 10, 2020 3:49 pm

      Yeah, if the only support you get on your Major Victory on the Australian Front is from a wanna be porn site and the alt-right dead-enders on the RPGShite, it’s not going to get any better.

    • Reason permalink
      April 10, 2020 3:56 pm

      He’s still carrying on petty monomaniacal argumentz in the Demon Shitty comments where he pesters & threatens backers. You can hear the sigh in Mikes voice as he informs both parties he has applied t have all their comments deleted (this has to go through HQ now?). They might be up a while longer.

  161. Zak Langouste, Awesome Guy permalink
    April 10, 2020 5:05 pm

    Hey Bros, still awake after 4 days. That bat-eater bug can’t catch me if I’m moving, so as long as I can stay awake, I’ll be immune. I’m running out of supplies tho, and I spent all the dollareedoos I got from Ettin. It looks like a bunch of you are not fact-checking, so I’m going to sue you. Send your dox to me at zakzsmith AT hawtmayle dawt calm so my super lawyerz can arrange to have you served.

    Bullying that idiot Ettin into paying me and apologizing was like a major victory, bigger than Waterloo or even D-Day. I;m practically a god at this point. Tremble, Bitches! Bow down before me and gaze upon the awesome guyness that is me.

    Do any of you have Reddit accounts that I can borrow? Ettin’s apology got deleted, and I need to make sure every there knows the facts. My “friend” Speakingmanners would help, but they don’t believe me , I mean her, anymore.

    I won’t sue you if you let me borrow an account, and you make a grovelling public apology that includes the text, “I acknowledge Zak’s divinity. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End He is the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in him will live.” I touched a homeless dude yesterday and healed his coronaviirus. I’m heading the the LA general ICU tomorrow to cure everybody with the bat-eater bug. I saved D&D, now I’ll save humanity.

    • Mightybrain, from the 'Shite! permalink
      April 11, 2020 5:17 am

      Zak, I see Vornheim is still available on DTRPG. If I buy it there does the money still get to you?

  162. Hatfist permalink
    April 13, 2020 5:20 am

    I see that lousy prick has had the trembling Ettin disable comments on his gofundme begging cup. There really isn’t any end to the infinite well of spite that is that horrible little manchild.

    You have to tip your hat to him though, I would have said there was no fucking way he could be more generally loathed as a vicious, cruel and outright nasty human being than he was already after the allegations against him. But fair fucks to him – he pulled it off.

    • Ass Yeast permalink
      April 13, 2020 3:11 pm

      Ettin is a fool for giving in so easily. Even if a trial date was set it would have taken months, if not years to have to go to court and without Zfuck showing up, the case would of been dismissed. Even if the fucker showed up there’s PLENTY of causes to justify calling that cunt a raper. Fuckface may get a win or two, but the bigger battles are already lost.

  163. Parvel permalink
    April 13, 2020 1:00 pm

    Even if he was innocent of the original abuse allegations (And I’m not saying he is), his subsequent behavior is still enough to solidly qualify him as one of the top five assholes in the history of our hobby. Not an easy feat.

  164. Zak Langouste permalink
    April 13, 2020 5:48 pm

    7 days straight. I’ve learned to let my left hemisphere sleep while my right hemisphere remains awake. It’s a super-power I’ve developed. I must remain vigilant. Too many peeps are posting lies about me. I have to fact check them all. I’ve been afraid to go out, so I haven’t been laying hands on the sick and the injured. But I;ll get around to it, just as soon as I fact-check the entire internet.

    Hey Bros, I;m still waiting for your dox so my super-lawyerz can get the paperwork going. Ya;ll have repeatedly defamed me, libeled me, called me really mean names and hurt my fee-fees a lot.

    Ettin was totes the weak link, which I why sued his sorry simpering Oz-ass first. Now, with that impressive legal victory, It’ll be off to Canada and fix Mandy. If people thought this was a humiliation for Ettin, well, wat ’til they see what I have in store for Mandy. Then Bros, it’ll be your turns. Unless you can get me Skerple’s dox, and Cavegirl’s. Then I;ll let ya;ll off the hook. I totes want to nail their sorry skins to my wall. Maybe do something artistic with them. Or Ya;ll can join my OnlyFans. Ya;ll will get great adventures and totes not light table traced art. At least until the OnlyFans peeps realize that I am not some plain jane cosplayer proffering *lewds* to sad and thirsty boys. Then they’ll probably kick me off unless I show some skin, so, maybe in 3 or four months ya;ll get the full monty. The Original Chad Thundercock in all his tumescent glory, all in crazy high resolutions. I am such a Big Swinging Dick.

  165. Heh permalink
    April 14, 2020 12:41 am

    It does seem like that Ettin guy gave in pretty easily. How do you sue somebody on the other side of the world anyway? Seriously how does that work to any effect? If you ignore it do Australia authorities throw you in jail?Whatever even in the same city it’s true it could take months and years before anything even went anywhere with that. Something seems kind of fishy with all that.


  166. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    April 14, 2020 9:34 am

    Ettin may have taken down all those Fuck Zak-Zak is Human Garbage comments but his GoFundMe has raised $7,500 in just two days. It will take Mandy’s rapist and abuser Zak Smith aka Zak Sabbath aka Mandy’s rapist and abuser YEARS to earn that much on his Patreon!
    Zak is stuck now with low traffic sites like OnlyFans. He might as well dust off his MySpace page and AOL dial-up account too.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      April 15, 2020 12:53 am

      He might as well dust off his MySpace page and AOL dial-up account too.

      Kinda like an evil Blooey… I miss Blooey.

  167. Heh. permalink
    April 14, 2020 11:23 am

    Mandy’s thing is almost twenty grand.

  168. Franky Panky permalink
    April 14, 2020 7:42 pm

    Ettin gave in easily, to be certain. I do not see why his attorneys would not seek a continuance at the very least, until after Mandy’s case is decided. If Mandy wins, Zaklet’s claim of defamation goes right out the window. One cannot be defamed by an established truth, and a ruling in Mandy’s favor essentially establishes the truth of her accusations.

    Ettin gave in because he wants to play the “I’m a victim” card, one of the wet dreams of the woke crowd. As a (presumptive) cishet white male, howsoever soyed he may be, he really could not ever be a victim. But now, He’s been bullied by Zak whose lawyers “abused” the Aussie legal system, such as it is, to make Ettin eat a bug. Or kiss the dirt. Or say uncle. It’s funny because it could not have happened to a bigger steaming pile unless it happened to Zaklet himself.

    What do you bet that Zaklet is engaging in a bit of auto-erotic behavior while he reads the comments on his thread on the Shite — a mouse in one hand and his baby carrot in the other? How does a nasty bit of gloating like that get over 6500 views?

    • Strong Black Man permalink
      April 18, 2020 8:43 am

      Dude is not heterosexual. No straight man believes the shit those dudes preach. They’re all a bunch of closeted gays which is why they’re so angry all the time. Because they can’t express their true sexuality and go full-on bottom they have tons of stress which they relieve by blaming everyone normal and well adjusted and calling them racist islamophobe transphobe sexist whatever flavor it is this morning.

      Biggest losers on earth. Anyone with something going on doesn’t have time for that shot.

      • Angry Black Gamer permalink
        April 20, 2020 1:36 pm

        Negro please!
        And by Negro I mean Irish. (Hi Kent!)

  169. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    April 16, 2020 1:22 pm

    Ewoks – They’re fine.

    Our hearts go out to the poor, decimated, cutie-things, and we hate the Empire, Palpatine, Stormtroopers, and all the rest all that must more!

    And, it is really satisfying to see Luke & Co. kill Palpatine and end the Galactic Civil War at the end.

    For the Fuzzy-Wuzzies!

    – Waterbob

    • Franky Panky permalink
      April 16, 2020 4:51 pm

      You filthy suppurating bubo! No1curr. Is this what you do with the new computational device you finally figured out how to set up, Waterboooooob? Post deviant thoughts? Spare us your creepy furry fetishes, your xenozoophilia and the rest of your disgusting perversions.

      If I were still Prince of your Village, I’d have your pin-head lopped off.

  170. April 19, 2020 1:03 pm

    Hey, ya’ll thought I was done in the gaming community but you were super wrong. You gamers didn’t expect me to start my own store. Well, its just stuff I post on my blog that you can buy for a sawbuck on a porn pay site, but I can call it a store. Sure, I’ll never get to storm an awards stage again and feel like a dork rock star, but if those rpg site guys ever have a gathering I’ll bask in adulation once more.

    Plus I get to keep my porn cred by tagging along with Stokes to the AVN awards. Nobody knows me there, and I get goofed on or outright ignored, but at least I’ll be there. As you can see I’m still thriving despite ragnorok happening. Take a look at my Cube World stuff. When you are done laughing at the “art” go ahead and pony up!

    And don’t fuck with me or ya’ll be owing me an apology – and cash!

    • Franky Panky permalink
      April 19, 2020 6:33 pm

      Zak, is it true that you are living as a parasite upon Charlotte Stokely? You’re a grownman. You should earn your own money and not rely on a sweetback with a very short shelf life. Shame on you.

  171. The Attack Is Back permalink
    April 20, 2020 5:23 pm

    Are you thick?

    What part of “EVERYONE” don’t you understand.




    Who claimed these accusations were true.

    Not just OSR people, not just Something Awful people, not just idiots in these Kickstarter comments, not just people who wrote blog entries, not just StoryGamers, not just RPGnet people, not just tangentially-related indie-video-game people.

    Every. Single. Person.

    Who claimed I was an abuser or supported those claims in any way will face accountability.

    • Hehaw permalink
      April 20, 2020 9:43 pm

      Well before you sue the entire world Fuckface, you better ask Daddy how his bank account is doing these day; as chances are it may be worse than yours.

      Do some good in the world and go kill yourself Zak.

      • April 21, 2020 9:23 am

        Hello, Hehaw. Thanks for the “PMs.” Hollywood is shut down and my accounts have seen better days, which is why I am happy to see my son has decided to start selling one-page “dungeons” on the lewd diary site. I never thought he would need to support himself but that’s the way the matzoh crunches.

    • Zak Langouste permalink
      April 21, 2020 2:53 am

      It is the only reason I’m still alive: to make sure that happens.

  172. Heh permalink
    April 21, 2020 12:26 am

    Lotfp is going down. Raggis bloated corpse soon to be found hanging from a creaking rafter.


    • POO POO RAGOO permalink
      April 21, 2020 11:11 am

      The reason these freelancers haven’t been paid yet is because there is no money for freelancers because there is no money.

      There is no money, and I shit my pants.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        April 21, 2020 1:51 pm

        James, how are you set for toilet paper? I have a few Nigerian contacts, princes like Me, who can get several gross of TP rolls if you want. Personally, I do not need the TP. My good friend from France,François Marcela-Froideval, taught Me the joys of the bidet back in the early ’80’s. There is no feeling so nice as a freshly washed butt-crack. Sadly, most gamers never wipe, let alone wash.

        James could you confirm or deny a rumor for Me? Were you and Zak planning some sort of LotFAP pr0n for Zak’s Onlyfans? I’m not sure there are any boys thirsty enough to pay to see Zak sodomize you. I do suspect a fair number of people would like to see Zak take a BBC in the ass, not for any prurient interest, but to simply see the expression on Zak’s face as the enormous,poorly lubed member penetrates his dirty rosebud.

  173. Kiss the Master's Feeet permalink
    April 21, 2020 9:20 pm

    I’ve used much of my quarantine time working on my forthcoming book about the world’s foremost RPG theorist, master of magick, and tobacco enthusiast,The RPGPundit/Kasimir Urbanski/Swami Anand Nisarg/John Tarnowski.

    After much searching and reading through archives, I believe I have found Mr. Pundit’s first publication, though it is, sadly, not related at all to RPGs. On the plus side, you do get a nice picture of him during his Lemonheads phase:

    • April 22, 2020 12:53 am

      I hate having my picture and name on the internet. I demand that you remove that link or I will put such a curse on you.

      Currently smoking Virginia Broadleaf and Mexican Oregano

      • Kiss The Master's Feet permalink
        April 23, 2020 12:02 am

        Great Ghost Guru Johnny,

        Please don’t curse me with your mystical powers. Is this because I said your hair made you look like Evan Dando?

      • theghostofpunditrypast permalink
        April 23, 2020 12:57 am

        No, it is because I can. I am a wizard. I didn’t even know who Evan Dando was, because I, a good leftitst, only listened to socially approved Canadian musicians, Bruce Cockburn, Sara McLachlan, Chief Gordon Lightfoot and Anne Murray.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      April 22, 2020 5:22 am

      I wonder what ever happened to that John Tarnowski aka Swamiji Nisarg aka RPGPundit aka Kasimir Urbanski? So Leftist, so Liberal! It seems like only yesterday when he went by Nisarg and copped a permanent ban from ENWorld for violating their NO POLITICS/NO RELIGION rule in 2000 after the Supreme Court appointed George W. Bush to the presidency by blocking the vote recount in Florida. Young Nisarg was running through ENWorld’s digital streets shouting “RISE UP! RISE UP! REVOLT YOU AMERICAN FOOLS! They have denied you your duly elected president Al Gore!” Did this permaban sour him forever on the Left? Is this what precipitated his move to the Dark Side and Tea Party/Alt-Right/GamerGate Libertarian camp? And why did he leave Canada? Was the free health care now anathema to him? Or was he just skipping out on a child molestation charge? Dig a little deeper, Kiss the Master’s Feeet, and you will be rewarded….

    • A young SJW speaks out against tuition hikes permalink
      April 22, 2020 6:20 am

      “It takes radical action to oppose radical oppression. The government is trying to get rid of the national debt by putting the nation’s individuals in debt. It makes no sense,” said John Tarnowski, who spoke during the open mike session.

      The Gateway, Thursday, October 20, 1994

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      April 22, 2020 6:32 pm

      That is HILARIOUS! He was as insufferable as a Trotskyite leftist as he is as a far-right Damigo stan. Like FotU, it would be interesting to discover how he made this transition, but ‘Horseshoe Theory’ is a thing. I imagine it involves some fat lefty chick who rejected him, even though he thought he was entitled to NKVD nookie. It’s no wonder he doesn’t want his name out there, he might lose potential writing gigs if editors of right-wing publications knew he was a tankie.

      Also, what the hell is going on with that noggin of his? The combination of a fivehead and that long hair is really perturbing. If the publishers of Quilette knew he had such a weird, bloated head, they’d be coming at him with calipers 24/7. He’s a fake swami, he should cover that thing with a turban.

    • Kiss the Master's Feet permalink
      April 23, 2020 12:12 am

      While I can offer nothing to explain the changes in our Mr. Tarnowski’s political leanings, I have learned what made him leave the halls of higher education. As per the back page of his book “The Three Paths of Ecstasy”, published under the humble moniker of Swami Anand Nisarg:

      “Swami Anand Nisarg is an academic who has studied both western and easter mysticism. While in graduate school he read a single essay by the great twentieth century mystic, Osho. What appeared to be a simple act had profound conseqeuences. He dropped his academic career and former live, traveled to Vancouver to received initiation and began an intensive period of individual practice and study lasting several years. This eventually led to a deep spiritual transformation that inspired him to write The Three Paths of Ectasty and begin his own Mystery School.”

      See for yourself here, along with yet another picture of our pipe smoking master here:

      Unless I’m mistaken due to my lack of keeping track of the great mystics of the 20th century, I’m fairly sure that Osho is better known to us as Bhagwan Shri Rajneesh, the Rolls-Royce Guru of Wasco County, Oregon, and subject of recent documentary Wild Wild Country.

      • theghostofpunditrypast permalink
        April 23, 2020 1:11 am

        Osho was a truly enlightened being. If you have ever ridden in a Rolls Royce, you would understand. Now watch this carefully, I am casting the spell which will curse you with dropsy. I may have mispronounced a word or two. You will be covered in boils if I did. My bad.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN SWAMI permalink
        April 23, 2020 11:33 am

        Well done, Kiss the Master’s Feet! Well done!
        But this is still only the beginning. Keep digging. Peel back another layer of this onion and you will be rewarded once more.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        April 23, 2020 5:40 pm

        Damn, I mispronounced the magickal words, I pronounced ‘Urbanski’ as ‘Tarnowski’. Now I’m cursed with priapism!!!

      • Zak Langouste permalink
        April 23, 2020 8:30 pm

        Hey Bro, Priapism is not a curse, it’s an opportunity to break into _The_Industry_ Porn producers are always looking for *reliable* performers, and if you get it up regularly, and keep it up for long periods of time, you can make tens of dollars in a day, plus all the pussy, of varying quality, you could possibly want. Or ass, if you want to go gay. The pay is better, but you have to suck dick. PM me with you details and I’ll see if I can arrange something with my contacts. I’ll get a nice finder’s fee if they hire you. We may even get to be partners in a DP scene with Stokes or Stoya. Stokes has some sweet pipes. Dumber than a bag of aquarium gravel, but sweet pipes. Just don’t touch my scrote. I get a little mental when dudes touch my scrote.

      • Frog Gode permalink
        April 27, 2020 3:43 am

        This opens a realm of new explanations for Pundit’s relocation. Did he participate in the assassination attempts? Was he one of those Uzi-wielding hippies up in Oregon? I guess it was not just tax evasion shit, because the cult’s lawyer never fled and he is doing just fine. There must have been violence at some point. Maybe the shallow grave of some bussed-in, Swami-cock-sucking homeless dude will spill its secrets some day…

  174. Ed Greenwood permalink
    April 22, 2020 1:05 am

    Frankie old friend, Could you throw a few rolls of toilet paper my way? I go through two or three rolls in one wiping session just to get it halfway clean. Am almost out. I try hosing it off in the shower instead of using so much paper but my stools are so hard it clogs up the drain.

    • bloodymage permalink
      April 22, 2020 5:28 am

      Just took a shower ’cause my bowels are acting up. I’m clean for the moment. Won’t last long with my body. Eat, pee, crap, rinse, clean, repeat.

    • POO POO RAGOO permalink
      April 22, 2020 11:03 am

      Normally when you feel that telltale pressure on your sphincter, maybe a fart or two sneaks out as well, that means it’s time to go number two. I no longer have that sensation. Ever since Zak left me and broke my heart, my early warning signal has been shot. Zak broke my heart and he broke my sphincter. And then it happened. It happened without any warning.

      I shit my pants.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      April 22, 2020 5:34 pm

      WIpe your ass in the snow, you damned Canadian. Toilet paper is for people from civilized areas.

  175. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    April 22, 2020 6:10 am

    Hmmm, how can Zpastic spin the Augmentations of the Flaming Prince situation? On the one hand he wants to crow that his ousting from the hobby caused Raggy the Last to fail because he couldn’t make books to prop up Shitpants lousy business but the Zakattack also crowed nonstop that sales were even BETTER and more consistently stronger because of the outpouring of support.
    So sales were strong and good because everyone loves Zpastic but his ousting also caused Greasy Jim to fail. I guess he’ll have it both ways and hope no one kept the receipt?

  176. Heh permalink
    April 27, 2020 12:25 am

    If I’m seeing it right Jeff Rients hasn’t done a post in months.


    • Amy Rients permalink
      April 27, 2020 2:33 am


      You must be one of those Socialist Liberal Trump-supporting GamerGate SJWs! I have a Facebook account I know about these things!!!!

      • Jeff Rients (STATUS: CANCELLED) permalink
        April 27, 2020 2:35 am

        I love her dearly but my wife’s dump stat is INT.

  177. April 27, 2020 3:23 am

    I don’t read much fiction these days. Prior to chemo, I would read a book a week. These days, its a book a year more or less. That being said, the fiction I do read is usually either Warhammer or Warhammer 40k.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      April 28, 2020 3:16 am

      My good frenemy Frank Mentzer told me Tenkar’s lips move when he reads.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        April 28, 2020 7:11 pm

        Oh come now, dead man, I said no such thing. Everyone knows that the Good Constable is functionally illterate. When he says “reads” he means listens to an audiobook. Why do you think he prefers old school? No reading required, just make shit up.

  178. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    April 30, 2020 1:27 pm

    D&D with my 7 year old daughter

    She plays a lvl 1 fighter, a girl named Rose, who wears scale mail and wields a spear, a scimitar, and a flintlock pistol. She belongs to the militia of her midsized fishing village, Horogne. She deals with smugglers and pirates, and after a fierce battle with some on a dinghy in her small village’s bay, found a sky blue colored wolf among their goods. Now she finds herself the target of the local goblin tribe, who are trying to recover the wolf so that a witch who leads a cult can sacrifice this wolf, the reincarnated Spirit of Storms, in a ritual that will resurrect a clan of seawolves and an ancient monster, whom she hopes to command, giving her reign of the chain of islands she lives on

    I’ve mapped out encounters culminating in a raid on her village by the goblins and an assault on the goblin stronghold, a ruined castle in the wilderness north of her village. The next phase of this campaign will be, after defeating and decimating the Bentmaw goblin tribe with the help of a goblin outcast, an expedition to a small island to the north. The island will have one village, a few productive farms, but be dominated by an ancient graveyard necropolis ruled by a vampire queen in the mountains. I’m going for some Ravenloft, Universal monsters feel here.

    I need some ideas for encounters because I’m running on empty. Stuff that will entertain and excite a child, provide a small amount of intrigue, but not be as hardcore horror as I would do if a bunch of adults were sitting with me.

    As an aside, she’s having a blast. She’s helped me come up with names for the setting. She designed her character mostly on her own. We’ve done a collaborative artwork thing on a DM screen which features a “water dragon” rising from the ocean and attacking her character. She designed a coat of arms for her character’s militia unit, we’ve created NPC’s, and she enjoys what we’re up to. I’d share pictures but I really don’t want to start a new photobucket account.

    Please, share some input. I’m running on empty for ideas. She arrives in the village. By this point, she knows somewhere there’s a vampire named Caroline who is trying to capture her wolf and kill her. She’s had a few encounters with a Sahuagin named Rip Tide who threatened her and then fled.

    Now what? What’s a good, quasi gothic campaign arc? What are some encounters with the undead?

    I need ideas, guys, so I can get as much of this fleshed out ahead of time.

    – Broccolirage

    • Franky Panky permalink
      April 30, 2020 2:07 pm

      You scabrous, flaking lesion! It is your wife’s 7 daughter. We all know that. The child carries not one strand of your DNA. We all know that too.

      Of course you’re out of ideas. Your imagination is about as fecund as your withered, soyed testiclets.

    • Toledo Jones IV permalink
      May 1, 2020 10:22 am

      Why bother playing when you’ve already told us the outcome? You suck

      • Reason permalink
        May 1, 2020 3:40 pm

        C’mon man, give him a break. He’s got a 7 year old to game for, who would find even the most basic & obvious of stock encounters wondrous, new & joyous… and he’s fresh out of ideas…

        Or it secretly some kind of humblebrag post that he even has someone to game with?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        May 1, 2020 4:55 pm

        It’s the ultimate “I had sex at least once” post to rub it in the other Dragonsfart faces!

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      May 1, 2020 2:04 pm

      Hey Broccolirage, Satine Pheonix would make a great, female empowering role-model for l’il Broccoligirl. Tell her to google the lady to try and find some of her valuable D&D advice, as well as possibly finding some videos with great tips on how to please big black Rhino dorks when she comes of age (or sooner!).

    • POO POO RAGOO permalink
      May 1, 2020 2:51 pm

      Hi Broccolirage,

      Good news! When gaming with young children, you really can’t go wrong if you include LotFP products at your family game table!

      I recommend purchasing the following LotFP products to entertain your 7 year old daughter:

      ELDRITCH COCK will fill your daughter with wonder and delight from the moment you whip it out!

      SHE BLEEDS is not only entertaining and feminist-empowering but educational as well – get a head start on health class with the wonder of menstrual magic!

      What small child hasn’t dreamed of shitting itself and then having their shit rise up and attack them? I know I sure did when I was her age! FUCK FOR SATAN is heartwarming family fun!

      I still do. Every time I shit my pants.

      • Ass Eater of Austin permalink
        May 1, 2020 9:48 pm

        Jimmy, why don’t you bring that massive, well-marbled ass to Texas?

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        May 2, 2020 12:28 am

        Meatloaf Night has gone horribly awry.

      • Zak Lagouste permalink
        May 2, 2020 2:24 am

        James, Bro, you didn’t mention “Vaginas are Magical”. What 7 yr old girl wouldn’t love hear that? You need to recommend “Vornheim, the Complete City Kit” It’s just the sort of thing Broccolirage could use. No wonder LotFP is going under. You won’t weaponize your players and you’re not even trying to upsell to this Broccolirage person. It’s obvious he’s an idiot, so it should be an easy sale.

        Broccolirage, Bro, You want _Content_? Come on over to my OnlyFans. I got content for you and your daughter.

      • POO POO RAGOO permalink
        May 2, 2020 4:58 am

        Thank you for suggesting VAGINAS ARE MAGIC. It would be the perfect gift for a seven year old girl who likes roleplaying.

        Zak, you know I can’t recommend or continue to promote any of your products including [REDACTED] City Kit because you have been permanently cancelled from RPGs. You are permanently cancelled and there will be no coming back. Ever.

        Nobody has ever heard of OnlyFags except people who like to pay for amateur porn.

        Sorry bro, you know it’s killing me, but I am required shun you. It’s killing me so much. So much that, well, you know

        I shit my pants.

      • Geoffrey McKinney permalink
        May 2, 2020 3:05 pm

        Seven years old? That’s 18+ in Carcosa years!
        Is she single?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        May 2, 2020 4:39 pm

        I am tapping the X Card! I am tapping the shit out of it!

      • Zak Langouste permalink
        May 2, 2020 5:06 pm

        James, Bro, You have failed me. Have you learned nothing. Use a sock to shill Vornheim, and the rest of my works. Go onto the forums, go onto Reddit and shill the hell out of my stuff.

        Here, check out the next response for a how to.

      • PooperPooperPooper permalink
        May 2, 2020 5:11 pm

        Broccolirage, have you seen “Vornheim, the Complete City Kit”? It’s for Lamentations of the Flame Princess, but can be easily adapted to any OSR game. It is exactly what you need. You are playing with a 7 year old girl? Try “A Red and Pleasant Land” it has a nice Alice In Wonderland vibe to it. I’ve played it with my pre-teen niece and some of her friends. They loved it.

        May 4, 2020 5:37 am

        Broccolirage, have you seen “Vornheim, the Complete City Kit”? It’s for Lamentations of the Flame Princess, but can be easily adapted to any OSR game. It is exactly what you need.

        Is that how I should do it, Zak? It was so much easier when you just asked us to give you all our social media passwords.

  179. Timotheous permalink
    May 8, 2020 7:35 am

    I would never run games for little girls. Little boys is the sweet spot.

    • Timotheus permalink
      May 8, 2020 8:57 am

      Ha, ha, kid! I’ve been in your head for years, now. Don’t you think you should talk to someone about this?

      On the other hand, it has to be therapeutic for you to state your desires so openly, even if it is from behind some anonymity. Maybe your shrink put you up to this?

      Anyway, have an exalt!

    • Franky Panky permalink
      May 8, 2020 9:26 am

      It is “Little boys are”, you illiterate dolt. That kind of thinking, about little boys, went out with the ’80s. These days it’s all about grabbing some pussy. For Me, it’s always been about grabbing some pussy. This social distancing is killing Me. Keep your hands to yourself Franky; Stay six feet away from the ladies, Franky. No Conventions, Franky. I may have to resort to the Sin of Onan before I explode. Any advice about how to do that, Gentle Sirs, or should I set up a sock puppet at Dragonsfoot and ask the experts?

      • Zak Langouste permalink
        May 8, 2020 9:25 pm

        Hey Bro, I;m a famous sex worker, which makes me an expert on such things. Email me at zakzsmith AT hawtmayle dawt calm if you want to know more. Be sure to include your Reddit username and password. That way I can verify it;s you. You can also join my onlyfans. I;ll be producing all sorts of content that might be relevant to your interests.

        If you want to get some OSR content, buy Vornheim, The Complete City Kit, or Maze of the Blue Medusa. Be sure to tell everyone that you bought it because Zak Smith, savior of D&D, was its creator.

  180. The Attack permalink
    May 10, 2020 6:25 pm

    I noticed lots of threads lately about big deal RPG people who y’all think suck who, by wild coincidence, also are extremely guilty of defamation against me. I figured I’d mention that, though we disagree about many things, every RPG dollar I make goes toward legal action against people who are widely despised on this forum.

    So buy something.

    • Zakattack on teh Loose permalink
      May 11, 2020 12:08 pm

      I noticed lots of threads lately about big deal people who y’all know shit their pants at a Christian chicken place who, by wild coincidence, also are extremely guilty of abuse. I figured I’d mention that, though we disagree about many things, every dollar my dad gives me goes toward legal action against people who are widely despised by me for calling me out on my behavior.

      So buy something off eBay where I don’t see any of that money. As a big wheel in the art world I don’t need you pittance from RPG sells.

      • Zak Langouste permalink
        May 11, 2020 2:23 pm

        Hey bro, Impersonating me is just the sort of defamation bad faith acterz do. it;s totes harassment. When my super-lawyerz make YDIS hand over the IP address logs, I;m going to sue you so hard. It’ll be like that time Mandy and me picked up a cute ginger girl with really nice tits at the downtown Trailways station. She was from Kansas or some nowhere place like that. The things I did to her while Mandy filmed it. Mandy was laughing so hard at how she squirmed. She was crying a little bit too. I loved it when the waifs cried as I fucked them. We bought her a burger and some fries afterwards, even though I hate fries, and a bus ticket back home. I miss that Mandy. Independent Mandy, the one who is no longer under my influence, I hate her. I;m going to destroy her. How dare she escape me. So yeah, buy my stuff so I have the money to do it. Dad’s investments are not doing so well ATM. Join my onlyfans. I may just post that video of the ginger from kansas. She really did have great tits. I still think of them when I wack it in the shower.

      • Robert Smith permalink
        May 11, 2020 6:38 pm

        😆 😆

        What would it take to make that dude see himself as others see him?

  181. Timotheus permalink
    May 11, 2020 1:21 pm

    This may come as a surprise to you all, but I’m actually kind of an asshole. I know, right? It’s not in my nature to say sorry for being a fat, angry drunk who plays old dead games with little boys.. But my AA sponsor and my anger management coach say I have to, so I apologize. I apologize for being a loser who is jealous of people who actually have a true presence online and are part of the gaming zeitgeist. Unlike me who just comes here, and not even with any decent lolz (does “have an exalt!” count as funny?) like the others. I apologize for fronting and saying earlier in the thread that I hardly come here anymore when my response to my alter ego took barely over an hour, proving I pretty much have lived here for a decade. The only other thing I have left is my Fantasy Trip games. Speaking of which I just ended a session, and I have some chairs to sniff while they are still warm. Have an exalt!

    • Timotheus permalink
      May 13, 2020 2:13 pm

      I didn’t even read this. Doesn’t that burn you up? The dude you have stalked for five years doesn’t even give enough of a a shit about your unrequited love to read your blatherings. Better luck in real life. I’m sure your mom is proud of you.

      • Stokes permalink
        May 14, 2020 1:16 pm

        There’s very little more sweet than when sick and creepy trolls give each other the troll treatment. LOL. What would either of your mothers think? Do you even have mothers? That’s a very valid question.

      • The Attack permalink
        May 15, 2020 12:09 pm

        Good one, Stokes! You know our mothers are so proud of us.

        You’ve got cum on your lip, by the way.

  182. May 12, 2020 1:23 pm

    So here I am, involved in court cases on multiple continents with many tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of lawyers raking over everything I do every day and the idiot thinks I’m going to just spend saturday night making a new account and pretending to be a different guy in his DMs?

    And he was fool enough to post it, therefore providing a very handy “Exhibit A” if I ever need to prove Mandy inspired an army of losers to harass me.

    And as if that wasn’t stupid enough, then Alexis– the Tao of D&D blogger–gets involved.

    This keystone cops shit where a guy tries to harass me, gets harassed by someone else who was also trying to harass me because they want to say its me, who then is outed while openly saying they’re harassing me, then some kind-of-respected colleague gets on and announces the entire legal and porn profession has been fooled and a witness in this case doesn’t exist?

    This isn’t even weird. This isn’t a product of what happened last year. This has been going on for ten fucking years. The people fecklessly making up shit about this were fecklessly making up shit about Vampire: The Masquerade the year before and Paolo Greco the year before that and 4e the year before that and on and on forever.

    Fully-employed dipshits with total confidence in things that get disproved in less than a minute or just so dedicated to trolling they will pretend they are without a second thought. And the person who want their colleagues to stop doing this is the bad guy?

    Maybe all of this is just normal to you, but after a year of legal action I can tell you: nobody outside of the tiny bubble of the online RPGs does anything but look at this shit and go “What the fuck is wrong with these people?”


    May 12, 2020 2:30 pm

    Herro Suckdungeoneers! You need rawyer? Well I can’t help you now.

    I stuck up in Canada where Zak is getting buttfucked daily by my amazing rawyering skilz! They pretty dope! Ettin had his chance but chose to defend self. You know what they say about defendant who is his own lawyer: have fool for client! Sadder still because Ettin actually a lawyer in that third world shithole he is from.

    Had to self isolate with Mandy Morbid so stuck in Canukland ever since this Chinese virus hit. Too much pro bonering Mandy – I need a new whore! She too bendy now with that disease she have. Tie her legs back like pretzel.

    “I may have to resort to the Sin of Onan before I explode. Any advice about how to do that, Gentle Sirs, or should I set up a sock puppet at Dragonsfoot and ask the experts?”\

    Look like Franky Panky is a now Franky SPANKY!

    Well, good luck you stupid Americans. Remember no wear mask in public you have rights! They trying to take your freedom by trying to save your lives! Don’t stand for it! ‘MURICA!

    Goodbye suckers, and don’t forget: Next time you no call whores YOU CALL RAWYER!

    • Franky Panky permalink
      May 12, 2020 5:09 pm

      Good one Dani, making sport of a Distinguished Prince of the OSR. I had a chuckle from it. However, your advice, no call whore call rawyer. Are you certain that a lawyer can satisfy my particular set of needs? I don’t like being a bottom, ever. It’s not becoming, and I have a really tight sphincter. Maybe I should call a Whore instead. Dani, how say you? You say Madny is quite bendy. I like that, but is it a neat she’s really flexible sort of bendy, or is it a creepy she might as well be a Gumby doll sort of bendy?

        May 13, 2020 8:36 am

        Herro Franky Spanky! You need rawyer? Well you better retain me before Jessica Price does! We choppy suey her for libel ready right away!

        Jessica Price no like you touching her big hairy pussy. She big feminist. In my country feminist is code for bull dyke lesbian with big old hairy bush. Jessica no have a bikini waxing from what I hear. Don’t lose a finger!

        Yeah Mandy bendy but not in the good way. More like Japanese horror film bendy. No so lucky! Don’t watch that video or go in the well!

        Anyhow you call me Franky Spanky. You living legend even if of shitty old school games that make no fucking sense that nobody wants to play anymore unless they OSR-tards. OSR not so sexy standing next to 5e and storygamings. But you like a Morey Amsterdam of gaming, Franky Spanky!

        And Franky, you no have to call whore ever! Here in Canukland I get you free persubscription for miracle drug called Roofies.

        I’ve missed all of you stupid Americans very much and remember: Next time you no call whores YOU CALL RAWYER!

      • Franky Panky permalink
        May 13, 2020 6:35 pm

        Maybe you could send me some video of how bendy she is. For, uhm, research purposes only. Ed Greenwood was asking about it on our last Zoom session. We OSR Royalty have been playing quite a bit of BECMI D&D, the best-selling version of D&D, ever. You could join in our game, Dani, seeing as how your copy of Demon City is still not shipped so you cannot possibly play that. Almost a year late now. Now it will be coming in the next few months. Haha. Zak et al are going to pull a Gareth Michael Skarka, no?

        No worries about the prescription drugs, Dani. I found many Ziploc baggies full of interesting pills in the dumpster behind Bill Cosby’s house some years ago, right before he was accused of unthinkable things. Bill must have had many, many anxiety and sleep disorder problems.

  184. Basic Witch permalink
    May 12, 2020 3:43 pm

    Goddammit I have missed Dani Jang.

  185. Tenkarma Is A Bitch permalink
    May 16, 2020 2:46 am

    Yes, I am sitting in a hospital, 8 days in and probably another week to go before, God willing, I can return home. And yes, there is no guarantee that next week’s procedure will be successful. If next week is my sunset, I will not go quietly into the night. Cons, thieves, slackers, harassers, bigots and more deserve to be exposed for what they are, whether I am home or in hospital.

    Should I make it home, I expect to hold the torch high as ever before. Should I fail, I pray someone picks up the torch and forges their own path.

      May 16, 2020 6:47 am

      Herro Tenkar Turdshack! You need rawyer? You probably should call me ready right away to make out will. You big fat lazy American cop. Too many donuts and sitting on your big fat cop ass finally catch up to you. Oh so sorry but you gonna die bro. That’s NOT dope!!!

      Anyhow, you pay me by signing over Turdshack and affiliate links to payable me Dani Jang. I can write my own posts devoid of any meaningful content to showcase them on Turdshack website so I take up that torch for you. You no worry about that!

      Anyhow, good ruck! You gonna need it!

      Remember folks: next time you no call whores, you put the box of donuts down first and YOU CALL RAWYER!

    • Franky Panky permalink
      May 16, 2020 12:00 pm

      Since the Good Constable worked hard at spreading False Rumors about Me, and actively helped drive Me out of the Game Industry, I cannot share any good wishes in this matter. It will be a pleasure to out-live him. It will more of a pleasure to do doughnuts on his grave with my Scootypuff. It will be the Greatest Pleasure of all to *comfort* his wife on his grave. 😉 😉 Ah, the life of a Consummate Lady’s Man.

      FYI Constable, in Hell, you’ll be tormented and tortured by the souls of all the young black men the NYPD has wrongly killed over the years. Payback is indeed Hell.

  186. Who Gives a Phuck About Tenkar permalink
    May 16, 2020 4:35 pm

    Who would have thought being a phat phuck gobbling taxpayer dollars and donuts from the public trough could cause health issues for this prick.

    I’m worried he’ll stop shilling for shitty products in exchange for phree copies of same.

    May 18, 2020 6:15 am

    Herro Suckdungeoneers! You need rawyer? I off to great start in Canuk Court today!

    First, I throw Zak off game by casually bringing up that he is known for douchebaggery. This get him all flustered with spittle coming out of mouth and steam from ears just like cartoons of old. He really blow top literally and figuratively! As argument proceed, I say to judge Zak Sabbath aka Zak Smith aka Mandy’s Rapist and Abuser is like a Scott Baio of OSR RPG scene. Zak completely lose it in front of judge, jury and executioner and say DANI JANG I AM NOT KNOWN AS SCOTT BAIO OF OSR! IF ANYTHING SCOTT BAIO IS KNOWN AS ZAK SMITH OF HOLLYWOOD!!!! too late before he catch himself. With composure gone, I go in for the kill!

    We on recess now and I get nice breakfast sandwiches from Tim Horton for me and Mandy. I order with bacon but when it come it have a ham on it. I say, this no bacon this ham! They say that Canadian bacon. I tell stupid Canuks this no bacon this fucking ham why you pulling fast one on Dani Jang don’t you know I powerful rawyer and DEMON SHITTY Superbacker??????!!!!!!! Stupid Americans don’t even fuck this up at superior Dunkin Donut locations nationwide! (Sorry Tenkar, don’t even think about delicious donut while you dying in hospital!)

    Anyhow, I get back to work crushing Zak in Canuk court. You remember: next time, you no call whores YOU CALL RAWYER!

    PS: HEY RAGGI! You still do a poopy pants? Call me we chop chop suey Zak for causing you this undue doo doo duress!

  188. The Attack permalink
    May 21, 2020 7:42 am



    You’re not allowed to lie in the comments. If you cared: you’d be taking steps to fix the situation. You’re not so you must be lying.

  189. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    May 21, 2020 7:23 pm

    Oh, dear, Mensers is wilding…

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 22, 2020 6:43 am

      I like how this Duane Cole guy has Jesus in his avatar then writes a post in defense of the Bledsaw Neo-Nazis.

      At least Franky Stanky is a small step up from Zak S – Franky at least accepts that he has been cancelled from RPGs forever. There will be no coming back for either of them. At least Zak can fall back on skank porn and gay rentboy action. Franky is beyond over the hill now for that.

      Good Luck, Tenkar!

      • Jennifer Quillian permalink
        May 23, 2020 9:38 am

        And yet we’d all rather see Frank in a porno than Zack in a porno

  190. Tanker Dead Yet? permalink
    May 22, 2020 9:10 am

    Ireplaceable loss to gaming…who will shill for preppy osr rewrites of tsr products if he drops dead? Who will I send copies of my shitty plagiarized games in exchange for glowing review and shill?????

  191. Heh permalink
    May 24, 2020 12:42 pm

    Hey Frankie, I see your relationship status on Facebook is “separated.” Were the various controversies and failed schemes too much for the missus?

    You still have plenty of photos of here posted. Can’t let go?

    • Franky Panky permalink
      May 24, 2020 5:43 pm

      Sigh. Yes, it is true. I am sundered from My beloved. I will not wear the horns, especially if Kuntz is the one to have put them on Me. That vileness Kuntz seduced My Little Debbie through trickery most foul. I am many things. A wittol I am not. I shall not go into the sordid details. Or how I felt about that smile on My Little Debbie’s face, a smile so bright, I had never seen such a thing on her before.

      Alas, now that I am no longer a beneficiary of the Bakeery moneys, I seem to have a cash flow problem, so I am selling some very rare and valuable items. You may find them on My ebay store Buy some product. Help out an old man down on his luck.

      For the discerning purchaser, I may have a certain somebody’s penis in a medical preservation jar for sale. I bet you can guess whose. Hint he, well she now, wrote some *important* D&D material BITD, when she was a he. I would never had found it excpet I was in the hospital for some kidney stones and on my way out, I noticed the dumpster and my old TSR instincts kicked it. Amazing what you can find poking around in medical waste.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 25, 2020 8:44 am

      Little Debbie? Bakery? You don’t mean THE Little Debbie, do you? Delicious snack cakes Little Debbie? Maker of the delightful Oatmeal Cream Pie Little Debbie?

      Mentzer you babbling, incompetent old fool! You are lucky to get out of that conniving succubus’s sacchariferous den before you lost both of your feet to the DIABEETUS!

      I see you are unloading your Judges Guild collection on eBay. Good for you, Mentzer, dumping those tainted tomes written by Nazi sympathizers, Imperial Klan Wizards and homophobic trannies!

  192. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    May 24, 2020 12:48 pm

    “DungeonDevil wrote: ↑
    Sun Apr 26, 2020 4:05 am
    Tried watching The Shape of Water. Got about 1/2 way through and quit. I don’t known why people were raving about it. ”

    Felt the same about Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. WTF? Pitt was good, but they gave him an Oscar for that?

    – Waterbob

    • Franky Panky permalink
      May 24, 2020 5:46 pm

      He bought the Oscar you drooling simpleton. Gary taught me all about how Hollywood works when I visited him in L.A. Now go drown yourself.

    • Quincy Mbeki permalink
      May 26, 2020 9:05 am

      Hey, you can nominated just for being black now that they’re afraid to be accused of racism. Anything goes! Maybe Justice Smillett can cry racism about it and get some kind of honorary oscar.

  193. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    May 25, 2020 12:51 pm

    Of course that weird, goofy faggot Waterbob doesn’t like Tarentino films. They’re made for grown ups, not mantards. They don’t have Ewoks, Jar Jars, Bink Binks, Jam Jams, and whatever the fuck lame elements “he” drools over and feels compelled to blither about to other aging creepos on DF. Sauna hasn’t been around awhile, but Dungeon Devil and Bobtard are worthy heirs to the Dragonsfoot dipshit brigade.

    I’m not a Tarentino maniac, but I loved Once Upon. It was a bit long (I’d have cut back a few minutes of Leo’s whimpering), but it was gorgeous to look at. An amazing visual recreation of 60’s LA. And Brad was awesome as that character, based on a real kick ass former WW2 hero turned stunt man who actually became buddies with Bruce Lee.. And I’ll support any movie that portrays hippies getting their faces bashed to a pulp and their nads chewed up by pitbulls. I give it 5 Kirk Boners up!

  194. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    May 26, 2020 3:27 pm

    Now that Franky Panky is separated, maybe he could move in with Raggi, in a truly odd ‘Odd Couple’ arrangement.

    • Heh permalink
      May 26, 2020 6:05 pm

      “Two broke fat divorced Jokes”

      • Franky Panky permalink
        May 26, 2020 7:44 pm

        I’m not divorced, yet. There may be a reconciliation. James is too swarthy to be room-mate worthy, and he eats cheetos. I cannot abide to be near those damned things. He would make a terrible wingman too. Any room-mate of Mine would need to be a wing-man, or wing-woman, par excellence. Now James’ ex, Hannah Ragginen, or whatever her last name is these days, I would very much have her as a room-mate. She could invite her friends over anytime. All those Scandinavian women, the giggling, the jiggling, the lingerie, the pillow fights…hold on, I’m having a moment… ahhh, yes.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 27, 2020 7:47 am

      I liked Zak and Raggi in season one, but Franky and Raggi sounds like a winner for season two!
      Maybe invite Tenkar if he isn’t dead yet and call it Two and a Half Manchildren?

  195. Strong Black Man permalink
    May 28, 2020 8:56 am

    How many taxpayer dollars were wasted sucking doughnut obstructions out of the fat leech?

      May 28, 2020 5:32 pm

      Herro Tanker Turdshack! You still need rawyer?
      I hear you on your way home now after they vacuum three buckets of KFC and 10 dozen donuts out of your arteries! Good for you! I give you time to rest up a bit before you report to working for me since now that I own Turdshack and all affiliate links to pay legal fees you have accrued.

      Tenkar and I will be doing a new podcast series on Gamers and Health. I will be your host Dani Jang and use my mad rawyer skillz to cross examine Tenkar and some other fatso gamers better than any journalist on how they become big fat fucks with coronary disease and diabetes. Be sure to tune in and support me on Patreon. Tenkar you still okay with me pay you in Little Debbiediabetus snack cakes? Franky Panky’s ex-wife give me good deal on all your favorite fatso snacks. She like a fatso gamer like you. Maybe I hook you two up?

      Remember folks, you no call Dunkin’ or the Kentucky Colonel, YOU CALL RAWYER!

      • Franky Panky permalink
        May 29, 2020 6:56 pm

        Don’t waste your Billable hours, Dani. My Little Debbie would never stoop so low as to consort with a NYPD cop. The Good Constable may find a suitable leman somewhere else. Perhaps you can hook him up with that cheap trollop, Jessica Price. She has a thing for fat, white, OSR types. Not a good thing, but a thing. The Good Constable would be hard pressed by that harridan to survive would need to resort to all the ‘Assassinating unarmed civilian’ techniques he learned as one of New York City’s *finest*. She’s white, so he might be confused as to how to go about it.

        Speaking of billable hours, do you handle divorces? Would you accept as a retainer payment in vintage Judge’s Guild collectibles? I have a near mint City State of the Invincible Overlord which is worth a pretty penny. It is autographed by 3 generations of Bledsoes.

      • Frank Panky permalink
        May 29, 2020 6:59 pm

        3 generations of Bledsaws. This lack of a reliable source of nookie has me befuddled and confused. If Tenkar does die, Maybe I can take his wife, along with all of his stuff. It’s what we Grogs do.

        May 31, 2020 11:01 am

        Franky Panky you must be thinking of America’s greatest living actress Tempest Bledsoe from That Cosby Show. She a real looker now so I can’t blame you. I didn’t know you liked dark chocolate, Franky! Good for you no racist in your lechery!

        Bill Cosby. He no so lucky. Those bad women told on him for rapey rapey after drugging.

        I can help you get divorce Franky. You too much living legend of RPG industry for just one woman anyway. I’m guessing she has all the money. You want alimony or just a quick Caribbean special – no fuss no mess ready right away?

        Franky, you are known for lechery. Might be hard to swing alimony payments from Little Debbie snack cakes but Dani Jang isn’t known for World Greatest Rawyer for nothing!

  196. Strong Black Man permalink
    May 29, 2020 8:19 am

    Can we get Eric Tanker to go to Minneapolis and use his police skillz to straighten things out?

      May 29, 2020 3:41 pm

      Herro Strong Black Man! You need rawyer?
      You have to pay in advance though. No racist, just you people no like to pay bills. My people have a long standing tradition of NO BOO COO!
      Yeah Tenkar was on his way to Minneapolis but then black people burn down all the donut shops so he change mind. He also just have 50 years of KFC sucked out of his arteries so he no so lucky right now.
      You magic negro? My client James Raggi is looking for new game designers and he would love to publish Song of the South RPG.
      Remember Folks: Next time you no call Al Sharpton or CNN. YOU CALL RAWYER!

        May 31, 2020 9:15 am

        Let me know about Song of South RPG soon. Raggi just sign Bledsaw Boys to work on it now too. They very knowledgeable about Antebellum American South.
        Franky Panky, you need worky worky too? Call me!

  197. Heh permalink
    June 1, 2020 1:51 pm

    Brothels are still closed so since that fugly whore Kimberly Kane has time off from blowing old black dudes she’s gaming online with Zak and some other skank. Poor Zakky; down to just two players these days.

    btw Cube World looks like shit.


  198. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    June 1, 2020 1:55 pm

    WaterBob wrote: ↑
    Tue May 26, 2020 1:39 am

    “A lot of pseudo-science in science fiction, especially space opera, breaks down upon close inspection.

    Some of the best advice about accepting Star Wars is in the Designing Adventures chapter of the original D6 core rulebook, where it says…
    In Star Wars, anything is possible–if it makes for a good story and interesting special effects. The hyperdrive works because we need a faster-than-light star drive to have a galactic Empire. Repulsors work because its a neat special effect.
    It goes on to say something to the effect that we shouldn’t look too hard at Star Wars science because it is heavy on the fiction. Remember the scene in The Empire Strikes Back where Han, Chewie, and Leia go outside the Falcon, which happens to be inside a Giant Space Worm that is living inside an asteroid (not to mention that the asteroid belt is un-realistically dense). You can sit around and say, “Hmm. How does the Giant Space Worm even live in a vacuum? Is it believable that the belly of the slug had a temperature that made it possible for Han & Co. to go about, walking inside the Worm’s guts, without environmental protection? Even Han’s eyes were not covered. What about oxygen? Han had on the mask that covers his nose and mouth. Is that enough to make the atmo breathable inside the worm? Is that asteroid dense enough and spinning enough to give us the normal 1G surface gravity that we saw inside the slug? Would the inside of a slug, even if it was that big, look like what we saw? A cavern? It wouldn’t be a wet sack full of tissues and digestive liquids?

    We don’t think about all this, because it’s SPACE OPERA.

    It is Flash Gordon, saving the day, with Hawkmen at his side, riding some eight legged beast, laser pistol lighting up the bad guys!

    We don’t worry about why the Empire doesn’t use hand rails for protection even next to dark chasms.

    We don’t wonder why most aliens are humanoid.

    We don’t think too much about why space fighters fly around in space and look like they are banking in an atmosphere. Not to mention the sound in space!

    We don’t fret over the existence of the Force!

    We just enjoy the swashbuckling action of the High Adventure Space Opera Yarn. ”

    *golf clap*
    Well done.
    Just sit back and have fun with the story and stop being geeks trying to show off their community college Intro to Physics course nawlij.

    – Dungeon Devil

    • Pat "Star" Stuart permalink
      June 2, 2020 4:15 am

      Well said WaterBob. I too have been yelling at those rationalizing losers for the last 40 years, ever since Mom left with my special needs caregiver. Get a life, nerds!

    • Franky Panky permalink
      June 3, 2020 10:13 pm

      Corona-chan, take them away!

    June 2, 2020 5:32 pm

    Herro Tenkar Turdshack! You dead yet?
    I think we in trouble. And by we I mean you. I let Christopher Stogdill guest post at Turdshack since I now own and he post story of comedy orc rapes of female adventuring party. You better hurry up and die or you come back to real shitstorm! Glad I left your name on the site along with all liabilities!

  200. June 3, 2020 12:23 am

    It’s a big week, y’all. A fugly Demon City backer lost an eye for the cause. Plus the cops took my bike. Which is kinda ironic cuz in Los Angeles it’s usually the jigaboos that steal your bike.

      June 3, 2020 6:12 am

      Herro Zak! Zak you are known for douchebaggery. Far and wide. You cannot rewrite the narrative this time!

      It no LAPD that take your bike. Undercover Canadian Mounties take your bike to pay part restitution to my client Mandy Morbid for your rape and abuse of her. You still owe her 500 gallons of maple syrup too. You guilty of rape and abuse bro now you pay up. No so lucky HAHAHAHAHAHA!

      Remember Folks: Next time you no call whores or 911 (they joke in your town and wear the late crown) YOU CALL RAWYER!

  201. Kentucky Kid permalink
    June 3, 2020 7:05 pm

    The United States of America:

    Manipulated by Jews

    & Cucks & Morons.

    • Timotheus permalink
      June 3, 2020 8:13 pm

      Right, Kent! We should all be like Ireland! Sissy boys cowering in the bogs and sending out feelers to Hitler!

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      June 3, 2020 8:33 pm

      Kent, why are you manipulating our American black people?

      • Franky Panky permalink
        June 3, 2020 10:01 pm

        Kent is looking to get blacked. ~Vibes, Kent. You’ll find your Mandingo soon enough.

      • BACLF permalink
        June 4, 2020 12:09 pm

        He’s not looking to get blacked, Franky, he’s more full of African jizz than a Nairobi sperm bank.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        June 4, 2020 6:28 pm

        Ah but Good Sir, there is a difference between the North Africans who are are so familiar with Kent’s rectum, and the sub-Saharan Africans that Kent thirsts after. Only the darkest of chocolate will satisfy Kent’s cravings.

      • Psychiatric Help - 5 Cents permalink
        June 5, 2020 8:21 am

        Every racist secretly craves vile black matters.

        Fear not, Kent : the doctor is (ummph!) *in*.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        June 6, 2020 9:35 pm

        Now, Franky, you’re tripping, we all know that Kent
        Has done his gay throughout the Dark Continent.
        His sodomy started in Burkina Faso,
        Where hundreds of pervs ran a train on his assho’.
        Then on a side trip to the shores of Lake Chad,
        He sucked off a goatherd as old as his dad.
        He dined on the bone in Sierra Leon
        And while in Lesotho, by God, did he moan.
        While squealed as he bottomed the drag queens of Kenya,
        When he hit the high notes, he sounded like Enya.
        And it is noted that Kent’s surely fond a
        The hard Tutsi tools of the hills of Rwanda.
        He loved sucking balls by Victoria Falls
        His blowing put shame to a nor’easter’s squalls.
        At first two by two, Paul K. Barry then blew
        The male population of famed Timbuktu.
        And when he was through, what with nothing to do,
        He sailed out from Mali on rivers of goo.
        Now, Franky, it’s clear, that old Kent’s done the queer,
        In all of the lands of the South Hemisphere.

      • Frog gode permalink
        June 8, 2020 7:03 am

        This begs a serious question : do they still teach meter and rhyme where you live or has poetry become a mere hobby for decadent esthetes? I once begged our highschool English teacher to explain what the fuck a iambic pentameter was, but he told us we were only allowed to study business letters and articles about racism in the US (that was 1992, thank Crom the world has changed).

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        June 8, 2020 6:50 pm

        I dunno what’s going on these days, but we were introduced to meter back in middle school when we first tackled Shakey Bill in class. We were tasked with memorizing and declaiming certain passages, such as the opener to Romeo and Juliet and Mark Antony’s speech in Julius Caesar.

        I also took two years of Latin (plus four years of Spanish) in high school, and we had readings from the Aeneid, with an emphasis on the meter, and the effects Virgil obtained from novel use of language.

        Then in college, I took a semester of Old Norse, where we had an emphasis on poetic forms, such as the typical alliteration and use of kennings in poetry.

        Of course, there was also the day I wrote about seventy haiku while doing a ho-hum surveillance job on the Upper East Side of Manhattan…

        In short, I was primed to become a poetaster at a young age.

      • Frog Gode permalink
        June 9, 2020 4:29 am

        Ben Jonson’s “The Poetaster” was translated to French as “Le Poétereau”, which is a new word to me, and therefore the best kind of gift I can think of. For this, Big, I thank you.

        French middle schoolers absorb a lot of poems, too, but our rules for versification are so simple that they don’t really prepare kids to understand other countries’ poetry – especially now that Greek an Latin studies have all but sunk into oblivion along with the rest of our culture.

        Silver lining : in an ironic instance of what Baudelaire would call correspondance, that same simplicity helped make France the second-largest market for rap music.

  202. Strong Black Man permalink
    June 5, 2020 5:48 pm

    Black lives apparently don’t matter until the police get involved. When we shoot each other in the streets of Chitown how come no celebrities or corporations give a shit and no buildings get set on fire?

    • ANGRY BLACK GAMER permalink
      June 6, 2020 5:51 am

      Shut your gay ass up, Kent. You drunken Irish cracker!

  203. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    June 6, 2020 12:58 pm

    Playing again…with teens!

    So a group of teens who got to know me through my library work have invited me to join their online Discord D&D session. It’s 5e (the edition they know), but I’m not the DM— which makes this my first foray as a player in…Great Holy Gygax, 28 years!
    The DM has “mysteriously” announced that the campaign is titled “The Mists of Raven’s Loft.” I wonder what that could mean?

    So the grizzled veteran is about to step out on his first adventure in a long, long time. Time to take down the sword from over the fireplace and burnish the armor on the stand in the hall…

    Ought to be a hoot.

    – Parzival

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      June 6, 2020 9:37 pm

      Time to take down the sword from over the fireplace and burnish the armor on the stand in the hall…

      This should put him on some sort of watch list.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      June 7, 2020 5:53 am

      While Parzival sounds like a creepy individual to be allowed around young people and “my library work” is pedophile code for “grooming”, this sounds like a made up story. Parzival, go back to collecting cut and paste retroclones you will never get to play.

    • Frog Gode permalink
      June 10, 2020 7:23 am

      Sounds like a neat Dinner Game situation to me.

  204. Timotheus permalink
    June 7, 2020 12:39 pm

    I find 11-13 to be the sweet spot. Much older and it’s harder to groom. Ask Sandusky. In the early teens the boys are so horney and mystified by sex. And it’s easier to reel in small fish. The hardest part is getting them up for a lame old system like Fantasy Trip. All they have heard of is 5th edition D&D.

    As for my doppelganger further up the thread, I still won’t admit to reading your sick burns. I’ve learned coping skills from my young players. Cover your ears and go “nyah nyah nyah didn’t even reeeeaaad it!” I guess that’s admitting that this old, fat angry troll has feelings. I imagine my swiftly lowering testosterone is making me a little girlie. I’ll just give myself an Exalt! and I’ll feel a bit better.

  205. Frog gode permalink
    June 8, 2020 8:43 am

    Pundejo has a new half-finished game (supplement?) to peddle and this time it’s OSR in spaaaaaace (*yawn*). On his own site, the
    very first commenter of his clumsy teaser points out that he did not even mention White Star, the most obvious space-opera retroclone. Wanna bet which game our favourite fugitive ripped off this time?

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      June 8, 2020 11:28 am

      The comments go on to list several other OSR space games that John Tarnowski aka RPGPundit aka Swami Nisarg, has conveniently forgotten, Shawn Driscoll tells everyone not to buy one of those OSR space games because the guy who wrote it has been “radicalized” which I guess is code for he’s a gay man, Chris24601 has the best and most relevant comment though about how old school D&D rules are absolute shit for space opera games.

      Should be a great shitshow! I hope this is the one that gets Tarnowski cancelled.

  206. Timotheus permalink
    June 9, 2020 5:26 am

    So Tarnowski kicked out Grim Jim from the blOwSR, and brought in the dude who cleaned up Brockie’s mess on Towers Two. Evidently the thoughtcrime was understanding that COVID is more deadly than the flu.

    I didn’t watch the stupid video, of course, but the typically dead-ender alt-right commentators in this thread make it clear what happened.

    I guess Vengie is simply glad to be dragged along for the ride, since any publicity for that plagiarist is good publicity. Does he still consider himself to be ch’uckla’xxian, or whatever, or has he dropped the pretense that he is anything other than a semi-bipedal, flaccid Anton Levay knock off?

    • Frog Gode permalink
      June 9, 2020 7:23 am

      Venger’s Dark Patrons have turned him into a “Che°ap VI°agra” spambot years ago – an empty shell forever doomed to lure Blooey wannabees on YouTube comment threads.

      Buy some product!

      • June 12, 2020 11:04 am

        This place is much worse then when I left.

        I think this separation was Desborough induced. Pundo is too pragmatic to kick people over Covid-19 differences. As for the Qanon thing, I think Pundo has switched to the antiquated ‘Dems are the real racists’ strategy to garner broad audience appeal, but since he garners part of his income from Latin American countries I don’t really see any other option. The man is a survivor.

        My new adventure is coming out, I am doing fine job- and relationship-wise, my country is not AvP, whoever wins we lose. I’ve been asked to collaborate with Venge on a new project. I’ll take advice in a rare mood of benevolence.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      June 9, 2020 5:37 pm

      So Tarnowski fired rape enthusiast Grim Jim Desborough for choosing medical expert coronavirus advice over right wing pundits and conspiracy theory peddlers? Of all the shit opinions Grim Jim has, that was the thing?
      Oh Swami you are one dumb Canuk fuck!

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        June 9, 2020 7:14 pm

        I’ve always known that Pundejo was stupid and odious, but I didn’t realize that he’d gone full-blown ‘rona denialist. How soon before he goes down the QAnon rabbit hole and tries out that particular grift?

  207. Timotheus permalink
    June 9, 2020 10:14 am

    I don’t even come here that much anymore.

      June 9, 2020 5:47 pm

      Herro Fake Timotheus who probably gay Kent okay definitely gay but maybe Kent! You need rawyer?

      Clearly Real Timotheus wrong you in some way and you may be entitled to a damages. Dani Jang can help! Please post picture of teddy bear with you pointing where he bad touch you. Was it wee wee? How about hiney?

      You have pending pedophile charges filed against you? Again, call me Dani Jang! I have another client a famous swami who I help escape pedo rap in Canada by relocating him to Uruguay under a new identity. I can do same for you.

      Remember folks: Next time you no call whores YOU CALL RAWYER!

  208. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    June 9, 2020 7:27 pm

    Jesus Christ, the ‘Shite is dumbfuck central. This shit aged really well:

    And to put this in context, the US 2017-2018 flu season resulted in ~61,000 deaths, and the Hong Kong flu pandemic in 1968-69 has about ~100,000 deaths in the US. COViD deaths are currently at ~77,000 (as of May 23) with that week’s number of deaths at 155. Assuming that the number deaths/wk stays at 155, it will take about 3 years (148 weeks) for COVID deaths to reach 100,000.

    Siri, what does ‘geometric progression’ mean?

    • Franky Panky permalink
      June 10, 2020 7:32 am

      Ah the Hong Kong flu, I remember it well. Imagine the number of dead without vaccinations, which came a bit later. It had a good run because of all the damned hippies spreading it everywhere with their free love shenanigans and protest marches. I must admit; I did partake of much free love during that time. Hippies chicks were filthy, and generally tripping, buy they still needed a little lovin’, even if they were passed out or hallucinating.

      This time around it is the SJW woke crowd and the protest marches that’ll be spreading ol’ Corona-Chan and boosting his high score.

  209. Timotheus permalink
    June 10, 2020 12:05 am

    Thanks fake Dani. But honestly, I don’t really need to be defended by the only puppet here less funny than me. I mean, this unfunny “Dani Jang lawyer chop chop suey” shit was old by the second time you did it, much less the hundredth. But just like my tired angry and jealous schtick You’ll probably be here years from now overdoing the lame bit. But what the hell, thanks anyway. Have an exhalt!

    June 10, 2020 7:05 am

    Ah! He put pee pee in you hiney. No so lucky, Fake Timotheus! You have my card. Call me if change you mind.

  211. Heh permalink
    June 12, 2020 6:38 pm

    Some Demon City dyke lost an eye to the pigs? Now THATS grim and gritty!


    • Franky Panky permalink
      June 12, 2020 8:08 pm

      Not only that, but she still does not have her copy of the book, because it is now over One Year Late.

      The safety googles, they really do something. But you have to wear them. I bet she gets a visit from Corona-Chan too.

  212. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    June 14, 2020 6:39 am

    I was very surprised not to see ACKS, LotFP, Arrows of Indra, Cha’alt, Gor, or Castle of the Mad Archmage in the BlackLivesMatter charity bundle. Very surprised indeed!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      June 14, 2020 6:12 pm

      And no Tenkar’s Turdshack affiliate links to the Black Lives Matter NAACP Defund the Police bundles either!

      • Quincy Mbeki permalink
        June 17, 2020 9:00 am

        He may be fat and stupid but that doesn’t mean he’s an anti-Semite.

  213. Stokes permalink
    June 14, 2020 1:11 pm

    Have any of you jealous old men ever been laid? Lol.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      June 14, 2020 6:32 pm

      Greetings, Stokes.

      First, congratulations on your success as an adult film star. Nice job. You’ve taken the porn world by storm. You have a very bright future ahead of you. You could soar, if only you removed the anchor holding you down. By anchor, I mean Zak. He’s holding you back.

      An offer; I participated, heavily, in the Summer of Love… the whole of it, drugs, sex, sex and more sex. If you’re interested, I’d be happy to teach you, one-on-one, all of the techniques perfected during that remarkable period, at no charge.

      An expansion: If you have further interest, you could bring some of your female friends from the Adult Film Industry to Our sessions so that they too could partake of the magic that was the Summer of Love. Your fans would love to see your newly acquired skills put to use, and your career would reflect that.

      I’m 68, semi-retired, separated from my wife, and looking to give back to the younger generations.

      Thanks for your time.

    • The Attack permalink
      June 15, 2020 7:15 am

      Hey, Stokes, how many times have you NOT put out for a fiver? lol.

      • Stokes permalink
        June 15, 2020 6:54 pm

        I made more than all three of you combined last year. But multiply that fiver by 100 and maybe you can find a prostitute that’ll sleep with you!

      • The Attack permalink
        June 17, 2020 9:52 am

        Look, whore, don’t fuck with the dude who runs RaPeLand. I will straight up kill your 4th level Doxy. Don’t forget that the dude who is married to a chick who thinks she’s a dude called it the best rpg supplement ever. And it won an ennie, bitch. What have you ever won besides secondhand backspray?

  214. Sophocles permalink
    June 15, 2020 1:32 pm

    Attention! We Demand Attention!

    We, the gossipy fag-hags of YDIS, would like the world to know that, creamy white though we assuredly are, and fish-faced we assuredly are, we are first and foremost a collection of virtuous GAY men, and any handsome young black fellow seeking reprieve from his ancestral slave-memory-induced looting sprees should do so in the comforts of our ragged and frequently plumbed orifices.

    The gossipy fag-hags have spoken!

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      June 17, 2020 9:53 pm

      I’m going to guess that this is Prince playing a Kent doppelgänger, it’s just too ‘on the nose’ to be the real deal. The real Kent has completely degenerated mentally, like Charlie in Flowers for Algernon, if he hasn’t died (inshallah) of the ‘rona.

    • Sophocles permalink
      June 18, 2020 9:07 am

      We are, all of us, gay victims of this post-truth age.

  215. Frog Gode permalink
    June 18, 2020 12:42 am

    It’s been a long time since Zak’s name was uttered outside the cosy confines of this blog, so rejoice : Shut Up And Sit Down pear-shaped sensitivity trainers just acknowledged him.

    • Ralph Becket permalink
      June 18, 2020 11:25 am

      I’d never heard of Zak Smith before now, so I followed some of the links posted above. As usual there is at least one other side to the story (see, e.g. and the allegations are the subject of a defamation case.

      • Zak Langouste permalink
        June 18, 2020 11:32 am

        Hey Bro, the only side to the story is mine. My ex-wife defamed me. All the haterz and harasserz defamed me. Anyone who does basic fact-checking will see that. Thanks for following those additional links, but I need you to do more. First, verify yourself by sending me your email and password, and any passwords and account details you have with RPG forums. Second, subscribe to my OnlyFans content. It’s totes premium gaming material. And maybe a few video clips of me sexually humiliating Stokes. She’ll do anything for a +1 axe. Third, get out there and spread the word that I saved D&D, that I am the best thing that ever happened to RPGs, that Demon City delays are not my fault, and that I’m really a nice guy. email me at Zakzsmit at hawt mayle dawt calm for more info, and some prepared scripts you can use in your battle against haterz and harasserz.

      • Tania Ramirez permalink
        June 18, 2020 4:42 pm

        Who is this Zak faggot and why are we supposed to give a fuck about his ex wife?

    • Quincy Mbeki permalink
      June 18, 2020 4:40 pm

      I guess since the Left is cool with antisemitism we should all rejoice about all the “we support BLM” pandering now. BLM, a hate group we can all get behind, founded on a falsehood and crowned in socialist glory of demanding free shit per usual. Too bad all this didn’t happen for Bernie a few months sooner and he could have kicked Dementia Joe in the nuts. Assuming Corruption Kid Biden has any.

  216. POO POO RAGOO permalink
    June 19, 2020 6:18 am

    And in other news,
    I shit my pants.

    • kaskoid permalink
      June 21, 2020 4:28 am

      Man up and put your big boy Depends on, chubby!
      I’m sitting in a puddle of my own fecal matter now too but you don’t hear me complaining! And it’s starting to ooze out the sides!

  217. Heh permalink
    June 19, 2020 6:43 pm

    That Zak only gets one or two comments per post is pretty good indication his shit ain’t a big seller. His Pube World looks like ass.


    • Zak Langouste permalink
      June 19, 2020 10:23 pm

      Hey Bro, I need you to email me your dox. You just totes defamed me, and I am going to sue you for it. Next time do some basic fact-checking before you act in bad faith. The fact that I don’t get a lot of comments indicates that my many, many fans have no complaints about my primo content, so they don’t leave comments. I saved D&D, and I write the best, Ennie winning content for RPGs. I may even win a Nobel prize for it.

    • Dave Graves permalink
      June 19, 2020 10:45 pm

      False. He gets many comments. He just has to delete the vast majority because they are mocking him, calling him on his bullshit, pointing out his logical fallacies, and so on.

    • Reason permalink
      June 20, 2020 8:22 pm

      I liked some elements of Zak’s gameworld but most of the snippets he posts seem like badly explained brain farts laid out in a confusing, unhelpful manner. Vornheim was clever, but the style has disappeared up it’s own rectum usability wise.

    • kaskoid permalink
      June 21, 2020 4:32 am

      I am sick and tired of hearing about this Zak faggot! I haven’t seen anyone whine like a little girly girl so much since Rob Kuntz.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        June 21, 2020 1:56 pm

        My old friend, you seem to have forgotten Dave Arneson. Whiniest, cuntiest bitch boy in the Greater Midwestern Region. You’ve been forgetting a lot of things recently. Maybe take a sabbatical from the psychotropics for a while. I and the rest of the Old Guard OSR Royalty all have mobility issues these days, so an intervention is out of the question.

        While I have you here, I want to ask, do you have any vintage OSR material that you need to be rid of? I could sell it for you, as a favor, via my e-bay account, for a small commission?

      • kaskoid permalink
        June 22, 2020 7:25 am

        I don’t know who this Arneson fellow is anymore so I guess all those years of smoking dope and dropping acid killed those neurons off. Mercifully too it seems.

        I am also tired of all this political correctness nonsense but must confess I don’t remember why. A few more hits off the ol’ dragon bong should take care of that.

        Don’t sell of your history, Metzer. These are after all the sacred texts of the hobby. Except maybe sell the Judges Guild ones before President Biden’s secret police invade your home and use them as evidence against you at trial.

        An offer: If any of you ladies would like me to run a game of D&D for you at the next convention (after this damn Spanish flu thing goes away) while the menfolk are playing for real in the big hall, just let me know.

  218. Quincy Mbeki permalink
    June 20, 2020 1:42 pm

    Did the affluent white college students get enough loot yet? Is racism over now? Can we stop pretending George Floyd wasn’t a violent career criminal now? Can millionaire athletes and “musicians” sleep easy in their mansions behind layers of private security yet?

    At what point will black lives matter when it’s blacks killing each other in the streets of Chicago? Or do they only matter if you’re a criminal resisting arrest?

  219. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    June 20, 2020 10:09 pm

    Back in 2012, when i retired up here to columbus, the former home owner replaced the patio slider doors with a double window swing door. When he did that, the mesh bug stopping screen door was just kept by the way-side, due to it was now just under 2 and a half inches too short to properly fit in the door jamb’s grooves…
    For 4 years, i had up one of those ‘magic-mesh” nets that did the job but last summer it finally tore up too much to keep up. So rather than replace that with another magic mesh unit, i was thinking of replacing or just modifying the existing slider, to fit back in..

    SO for those who are handymen, how easy is it to re-size a mesh screen door that’s plastic framed?

    – garhkal

    Confuscious sayeth, don’t wash cat while drunk!

    • kaskoid permalink
      June 21, 2020 4:14 am

      The easiest way is to kill yourself and let the next owner take care of it.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      June 21, 2020 2:01 pm

      I’ve heard of room temperature IQ, but you have a meat freezer temperature IQ. What kind of imbecile thinks that retiring to Columbus, Ohio is a good plan? Oh, a Dragonsfoot imbecile.

      Fix the door yourself. Get yourself a table saw and a nail gun and get to work. I bet that you can make a right proper mess of the door before you *accidentally* cut off your hand, or shoot yourself in the head with the nail gun. Bonus points if you nnail your foot to the floor first.

      • Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
        June 23, 2020 4:07 am

        Great suggestions guys.
        Btw, over the past year or so, some of the older films i have on dvd, seem to be wearing out’, in that the volumn when folk talk, is a lot lower than it used to be, to where i have to pump the TV’s volumn up to around 50 (when 12 is normally ok to hear).

        Anyone else had that problem? Did you fix it, by getting a new copy of the disk?? Or via some other method?

        – garhkal

        Confuscious sayeth, don’t wash cat while drunk!

      • kaskoid permalink
        June 23, 2020 7:43 am

        It’s called a hearing aid, dumbass! Go get your hearing tested. And get checked for Spanish Flu and autism while you’re at it.

  220. kaskoid permalink
    June 23, 2020 7:50 am

    I need to go outside and drive down to the post office and would like to wear my Civil War hat but I can’t remember which side I’m on. Which one was #BlackLivesDon’tMatter again, blue or gray?

    (It’s a trick question! If you’ve studied your history, both sides were #BlackLivesDon’tMatter!)

    • Franky Panky permalink
      June 23, 2020 12:44 pm

      Tim, old friend of Mine, you live in Cincinnati, Ohio’s other armpit, which is north of the Ohio river so normally you would wear union blue, but these days that’ll get you beaten by a bunch of Pathfinder players, or whatever those Seattle and Portland types play when they are not LARPing as anarchists. Wear that motorcycle helmet that Mrs. Kaskoid got you, the one painted to look like it has an open shark’s mouth around the visor. Plow right through the crowds with the death scooter. See what kind of high score you can rack up. I guarantee you, the cop’s will believe anything you say and just let you go. You are a cis-white-man. This is your country dammit.

      • kaskoid permalink
        June 24, 2020 4:08 pm

        North South Cis Trans AC/DC I can’t keep all this nonsense straight! Which one is Jaquays again?

  221. kaskoid permalink
    June 24, 2020 4:04 pm

    Can somebody please tell me why Tweeterbook is all in an uproar over my new D&D campaign where the PCs are members of the city guard laying the smack down in the Orc Ward? Did something happen?

    • Quincy Mbeki permalink
      September 5, 2020 4:10 pm

      Cops all hate black people now. Even black cops. And they murder like 100 unarmed blacks a day and get away Scot free. Because systemic racism means they can’t be charged with a crime and all the D.A.s and judges laugh about it. The only way to fix it is to burn down banks and grocery stores and loot shoe stores and electronics stores in poor neighborhoods.

  222. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    June 25, 2020 12:33 am

    “Fix the door yourself. Get yourself a table saw and a nail gun and get to work. I bet that you can make a right proper mess of the door before you *accidentally* cut off your hand, or shoot yourself in the head with the nail gun. Bonus points if you nnail your foot to the floor first.”

    Right as usual, Frank Wank. Though your wisdom is no longer wanted at Dragonsfelch, we need it here more than ever.

    At first I thought the posting of Garhkal’s dilemma here was weak, but if you look more closely it goes pretty dark and deep. I mean, after many years of helping rehash old 1st ed. subjects again and again these lifers of Steve’s Home for old Geektards find it to be their only haven and place of socializing. Its devolved from “what % of yer dungeon rooms are empty and dusty” to “how the fuck do I hang a screen door fellows?”

    Sad right? clearly he has no real friends to turn to? To invite over for a beer and pick their brains? But its even deeper.

    YouTube, bitch. There’s a million videos online that will actually show the shit getting done. He must know this. But here’s the looking glass truth of it. He just wants a higher post count and this is an excuse to post. Plus he gets a thrill from replies, any replies to his words. In a way many of us get from a surprise blowie on NYE, or getting two aces in a poker game. Its that sad and basic. Just any contact from a fellow mantard to make him feel wanted. Ick.

    As for the worn out DVD’s; fuck dude, throw out those old porn disks and fap online. Its all there. And how often do you need to keep rewinding the money shots. Don’t you get desensitized? Jeez.

  223. Lamentations of Raggi's Ghost permalink
    July 2, 2020 12:30 pm

    Brick by Brick, they will erase. Until thou art nothing but a memory.

    • Marvin permalink
      July 3, 2020 6:07 pm

      Man they have gone full retard

    • Timotheus permalink
      July 3, 2020 7:08 pm

      All those apologies and not one for the shitty cover.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      July 3, 2020 10:13 pm

      And yet the inexecrable piece of shit is still for sale on DrivethruRPG. So, a snivelling apology for writing it, but still willing to profit from it.

      Ah, Chenier, you are such a Canadian. I hope you are eaten by wolverines.

  224. Timotheus permalink
    July 6, 2020 12:46 pm

    All those apologies and not one for the shitty cover.

    Of course I doubt I could do any better. It just makes me mad that anybody actually produced something both of value and that’s controversial. But hey, I’m happy thrilling other peoples children with my Fantasy Trip sessions. Sure, behind my back they make fun of me being old and fat and they wish they were playing D&D. But at least I have somebody to play with.

    Oh, I don’t come here much anymore, just enough to vent my anger and jealousy. Nobody else would listen. And I do kind of enjoy Bigg’s lame Dani Jang bit. Its not funny, but I really like racism of any stripe. Have an exalt!

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      July 6, 2020 11:17 pm

      Now, fake Tim, you know that extended character sketches are not my thing. I’m more into the salty one-liners and doggerel. I can’t lay claim to fake Dani Jang. I leave the ‘establish a character and run with it’ stuff to incompetents like yourself or talented individuals like Mike Myers, and even he blew it by not making a ‘Dieter’ movie. My style is more like writing something like this:

      Kent’s anus bled
      ‘Til the streets ran red
      And he bit monsignor’s cock
      While he was giving head.

      As the late, great Jack Vance put it, “That’s my schtick!”

    • Frog Gode permalink
      July 7, 2020 8:52 am

      I’m still trying to grok that limerick thing. BACLF, would this qualify ?

      There was a fellow named Kent
      Whose idea of a night well spent
      Was to pass out drunk on the dock
      Sweatily dreaming of Tim’s cock
      While sailors staked him like a tent.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        July 7, 2020 11:04 am

        The rhythm needs a little bit of work, but the rhyme scheme is perfect. You are well on your way to becoming a poetaster!

        Pax vobiscum!

        P.S. Binging on Morricone’s music today. Oddly, the overture for A Fistful of Dollars started off as an arrangement of Woody Guthrie’s Pastures of Plenty:

      • Franky Panky permalink
        July 7, 2020 5:20 pm

        Well of course. Everything else about that film was a blatant rip-off. I never met Woody during my days as a Folk Singer Troubador Extraordinaire, but I did meet Arlo, and Phil Ochs. Arlo was all right, and an unbelievable chick magnet. I learned so much from him about being the Consummate Lady’s Man. Phil was crazy. And far too serious for his own good. He had the talent though.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        July 8, 2020 12:43 pm

        I bet Gary used to sing Coming Into Los Angeles back in the day while he was snorting Bolivian marching powder off the buttocks of a Red Sonya lookalike model. It’s good to know he spent my ‘Unearthed Arcana’ dollars wisely.

        OT, Franky, did you hear this?

      • kaskoid permalink
        July 9, 2020 4:34 pm

        I don’t remember doing that interview. I must have been baked.
        What the heck’s an appendix N and why do these losers care?

      • Franky Panky permalink
        July 9, 2020 4:49 pm

        Naw, Gary didn’t like Folk Music much. He had a thing for ABBA. The number of times I heard him singing, “Waterloo, Waterloo…” If you look at some of the photos from BITD, you see that he was trying, without much success, to copy Benny Andersson’s beard/hair look. Also, Gary thought Gail looked a bit like Anni-Frid, so that might explain his attraction to her. It certainly was not her gracious personality.

        I can’t listen to podcasts. The hearing isn’t what it used to be, and I don’t know how.

        TIm, My friend, no doubt that you were baked, or tripping. Those psychedelics are not doing you any favors. Appendix N is what the doctors cut out of your gut, when they removed a big chunk of your cancer-ridden colon. Don’t Worry. I fished it out of the medical waste bag and saved it for you. It’s on the shelf right next to Jim Ward’s foot and My kidneystones.

      • Frog Gode permalink
        July 10, 2020 7:09 am

        Morricone’s music was the soundtrack of my many long scenic drives back from college across the sun-kissed Cévennes mountains. My last trip was so unbearably beautiful that I vowed to never take that road again, for fear of spoiling a perfect memory.

        Anyway, back to work with another attempt :

        The lying failure known as Kent,
        Had told every immigrant
        That for a barrel of cheap ale
        His sad pimply ass was for sale
        – But they found it was only for rent.

  225. Tim's Friend Jeffro permalink
    July 10, 2020 6:09 am

    The Penultimate Men is Here!

    I know exactly how you feel.

    More than once I’ve caught myself looking out the window to check for roving motorcycle games. Checked the news for the latest updates on the food riots. Wondered just how I would manage to get home in the event of taking a wrong turn.

    The future I was weaned on is has arrived. Scenarios I’ve played out countless times at the tabletop routinely show up in my twitter feed as footage from somebody’s phone.

    I won’t lie, it’s rather alarming.

    If you are reading this blog, then you already know what to do. Shut off the media whose only purpose is to demoralize you and denude you of your culture. Get stronger, get tougher, and become a harder target. And stand with those that will not bend the knee to whatever false god is being peddled this week.

    One way you can do the latter is by picking up this latest book put together by my friends at Pilum Press. Experience again the thrill of reading stories by people that share the same ideals and visions as yourself. People able to inspire you, to lift you up. To remind you of what you are and who you are.

    And there’s more. It even includes a couple of pieces from myself: a deep dive into the foundations of the Gamma World game, with an eye towards recovering the sort of lost arcana that can propel your campaigns to unparalleled heights.

    It’s a fantastic collection that you are sure to revisit time and again. And you will never have more fun re-colonizing your bookshelf.

  226. Zak Langouste permalink
    July 13, 2020 6:45 pm

    Hey Jimmy Poo-Poo, where’s my royalty check? This does not excuse the delay. Pay up or I;ll sic my superlawyerz on your broke, deadbeat ass. What of value do you have left anyway after the divorce? It will all be mine, just like those tens of dollarydoos I collected from Paul Ettin.

    • Thimoteus permalink
      July 14, 2020 7:24 pm

      Damn. Faggi is going down. No way he comes up with 60K euros in a month.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        July 15, 2020 1:11 pm

        Prostitution is legal in Europe. James’ rectum could easily raise that cash from discerning connoisseurs. I’m certain he would enjoy sex work. Zakling could give him professional advice too. And help him start an OnlyFans.

        How brutal are business bankruptcy laws in Finland anyway?

      • POO POO RAGOO permalink
        July 16, 2020 7:01 am

        I’m getting desperate guys I need to come up with 60,000 € by the end of the month! I need 60,000 € or I’ll shit my pants! Please buy a 200 € book sleeve or a 30 € LotFP bucket or a 25 € LotFP promotional pen. Use promotion code YDIS on your order and I will shit my pants in the bucket for you.

        I shit my bucket!

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      July 15, 2020 4:10 pm

      I suspect that Raggi’s discomfiture has more to do with his employed missus dumping him than with Zakko’s cancellation. Who really was the breadwinner in that household?

      • POO POO RAGOO permalink
        July 16, 2020 7:02 am

        Shitting my pants was very uncomfortable too. Now I don’t wear pants.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        July 16, 2020 7:34 am

        Well James, if you must know, I stopped wearing pants for a while; a medical condition that required Little Franky to be aired out frequently. That’s when Mrs. Panky left Me for the flour delivery guy. 😦 😦 I’d bet Hannah left you for the same reason. Chicks don’t dig the sight of overweight guys without pants walking around the house. Oh, and Sitting on the furniture makes them totally mental. Go figure.

  227. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    July 15, 2020 7:30 pm

    Anyone remember Destination Faptastix? Probably not and the backers barely do either. Porky promises big news and lawyers and shit even though the project is way overdue and stillborn like anything Saltine Fenix’s enlarged gaping womb could produce. They at least stalled long enough to use a pandemic as an excuse. Note, Saltine has never once engaged any of the petulant man children in regards to this project. What a boon to gaming that woman is. Unfortunately Saltine needs another kickstopper soon to get a vein in her nose cauterized as the nosebleed from Gygaxian amounts of cocaine she snorted just wont stop.

    I’m laying odds I’ll be banging Saltine’s sloppy loose ass in the Abyss and Kask will still be going to conventions. That girl shortened her lifespan more than anyone I know.

    • Frog Gode permalink
      July 16, 2020 2:12 am

      Is she in rehab?

      Satine Phoenix – Herald of Compassion 08/07/20
      Hi all. I’ve been away trying to handle my feelings on everything from the last few months. With the avalanche of emotions daily and empathy for all without the ability to express myself or to handle how my fear has bloated into an unconscious transference of emotions to those
      … i care about, I am taking some time to navigate the consequences of my actions both past and present to become a more present being of light and love for not only myself but all of my relationships. Please excuse my silence for I need patience. My trauma has infected the
      … way I see the world and only through hard work and reflection will I be able to properly overcome these demons and love purely and be able to offer the support I have attempted to offer the world but unconsiously was not able to.


      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
        July 16, 2020 10:08 am

        Maybe Ray Winninger fired her because she adds nothing to the brand besides googling her for a kids’ game and seeing 73 18’ cocks going up her ass?
        Ray was like, “hey Saltine, I notice you collect a paycheck as a media manager but you don’t actually ummm engage with anyone?”

        So she’s all engaged in a fake disability claim now to keep that sweet WotC money coming in while doing nothing (except cocaine) because the only thing that will take her back is 73 cocks and even then, she’s a has been worn out woman with a blown out ass.

        You can only work somewhere doing nothing for so long before SOMEONE notices.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
        July 16, 2020 10:11 am

        Speaking of out of work toxic women that add nothing to anything while claiming they are the Azathoth like center of the universe. Is Jessica Price employed anywhere?

  228. July 16, 2020 12:40 pm

    Patrick Stuart joins the Alt-right.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      July 16, 2020 7:51 pm

      StuPat must’ve picked up a prion disease when he let Kent eat his ass.

  229. kaskoid permalink
    July 18, 2020 5:59 am

    Hey Jimmy Poo Poos, what is this Blood in the Chocolate nonsense? Is this a euphemism for blood in the stool? From what I can remember of your products, that would seem to be on brand for you. I’m available if you would like me to write the sequel, Chocolate in the Pants.

  230. Kent permalink
    July 20, 2020 2:47 pm

    I posted this on Zak’s blog because I know he will read it because he is a Jewish narcissist who loves to read about himself but is terrified to deal with anyone who can mock him for fun. Jews hate being mocked, and Zak has always been afraid of me.

    Your rehabilitation has been ineffective, it seems like JEWISH REHABILITATION encourages psychopaths to BE themselves, so long as DADDY JEW has money to pay JEW LAWYERS.

    There is another way Zak where you apologize for aggressive Jewish anti-whiteness in the media, or you might apologize for aggressive Jews in Hollywood for the anti-white narratives where nepotism has pumped moron Jews to the front.

    Let’s get the calipers out to determine if Jews deserve to be over-represented to the extent of 2% population taking up 25% of top three university places. Let’s do the IQ tests. It is clear that Jews are over represented everywhere because of MONEY. MONEY is easily dispersed.

    And where did Jews get the money? and why are Jews are so NEPOTISTIC? and why are Jews anti-white scum. Jews should be grateful. Jewish opinion is being recorded everywhere and Jews will be held to account.

    • Zak Langouste permalink
      July 20, 2020 7:58 pm

      Afraid of you? I don’t even know who you are. My superlawyerz will find out though, and I;m going to sue you for not fact-checking.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      July 20, 2020 9:33 pm

      Nailed it six months ago:

      Why is Kent spazzing out about J00z? (d6)

      1. Inability to comprehend constant failure, must blame sinister semitic cabal.
      2. Belief that Jews corrupted math limits him to dead end job in unaccredited trade school.

      Kent: The Failure

  231. Thimoteus permalink
    July 21, 2020 12:07 am

    Don’t ask me. Shrug. I can’t even spell my own lame, unimaginative sock name right!

    • Thimohateus permalink
      July 21, 2020 5:38 pm

      I’m gay!

      But I feel better making fun of other lame, unfunny trolls!

  232. Oh God He's Drunk permalink
    July 22, 2020 1:09 am

    Zpastic spouting off incoherently

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      July 22, 2020 1:43 pm

      Hahahaha! Zak has to go to Speedy Gonzalez in Guadalajara to get any sort of interview about his cancelled career!
      Andale! Andale! Arriba!

    • Jennifer Quillian permalink
      July 22, 2020 7:16 pm

      They had to disable comments because Zachary can’t control them on that platform and thus can’t “win”

    • Toledo Jones IV permalink
      July 22, 2020 8:11 pm

      Holy shit he talks like a retard with a squeaky nasal voice. And looks like a mental patient who escaped midway thrru head shaving for shock treatment time

    • kaskoid permalink
      July 23, 2020 6:28 am

      Hey Jack Off Zakoff, while you are South of the Border, why don’t you try to get some Mexican porn work? Ever heard of a Donkey Show? I bet your new buddy Guadalajara Gonzalez can hook you up!

  233. Heh permalink
    July 22, 2020 11:22 pm

    He also needs to always crow his porn creds. “Some times adult actor.” His last credit I can find is 8 years ago. Fucking huckster.


    • Tobias permalink
      July 27, 2020 5:18 pm

      Is he a fag? Looks and sounds like a fag. I assume he does the gay porno? As a bottom?

  234. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    July 23, 2020 7:29 pm

    Demon Shitty soon to be known as the OTHER Fart East. Maybe Skanka and Zpastic can team up to try to fund another project that never/under delivers?

    • OA, BD permalink
      July 24, 2020 5:56 am

      Oscar Anderson Likes this.

  235. Stefan Pokorny, Biker Chick - 18 days ago permalink
    July 31, 2020 7:18 am

    I know I sound like a broken record, but some major hurdles have been overcome just Before the weekend and VERY soon, like this week, MAJOR News!

  236. Timotheus permalink
    July 31, 2020 10:02 am

    I’m gay. Aw who am I kidding, gay guys can get laid.

  237. August 2, 2020 4:41 pm


    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 3, 2020 9:27 am

      You reading the Gormenghast books, Venge?

      • August 5, 2020 8:57 am


      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 5, 2020 7:28 pm

        Never did take you for a reader, hoss.

    • Venger Satanis permalink
      August 13, 2020 12:17 pm

      Yeah, I’m more of a movie guy. But I still revisit the classics… Lovecraft’s Intersectional Ca’at.

  238. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    August 3, 2020 1:16 pm

    Anyhow, I would readily give half of my soul or gonads (whichever between the two are more valued on the open market) for a high quality (we’re talking Akira level here) trilogy of two-dimensional animated films centered around the Thrawn trilogy. Get the best (but not overexposed) voice actors in the industry to play Luke, Han, Leia, Lando, Thrawn, Joruus, Mara, et cetera.

    I’ll then give the other half whenever another studio is serious about replicating a similar feat, but with Drizzt Do’Urden (it can be done, but to say the battle would be an uphill fight is a severe understatement). This series can be live-action (there is no prior-now-aged cast to consider)…although it would be difficult to replicate many of Drizzt’s stunts even with top-notch choreography and computer-generated imagery.

    The Dark Tower also deserves some love; however, I’ll be infertile or infernal by that point .

    – Ezram

    • kaskoid permalink
      August 4, 2020 4:34 pm

      This won’t work because you are most likely infertile now idiot! Go get your sperm count tested and have them check you for this Chinese flu that’s going around. Maybe throw in a cognitive test.

      Also, your weaksauce gonads aren’t legal tender (and not worth much anyway even if you could sell them). The Jews that control Hollywood are going to want money, and lots of it, for projects of that scope. Go back now to your parents’ basement and don’t come back up until you need to use the microwave for another Hot Pocket.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        August 5, 2020 12:58 pm

        Tim, My good friend, if you had spent time with Me and Gary in L.A. you would know that Hollywood types are interested in ass, not the sad, shrivelled raisins which that Dragonsfoot imbecile has in the package. Tell him if wants something, he’s going to have to bend over first. And bring his own lube.

        What the hell is it talking about anyway? Thrawn, Drizzt? Is this that anime crap all the weeaboos prattle on about. Imagine being a 50+ year old white man who’s into cartoons and comics meant for Japanese School Girls. The perversion is strong in this one.

        Finally Tim, My good friend, when you address those imbeciles in the future, always start with an insult, and always finish by telling them to kill themselves. Time and Corona-chan are not working fast enough.

        You may have heard, My dear friend Wilford Brimley passed on. He was the one who threatened to shove my amputated foot up my ass if I lost it to the ‘beetus. Now he is with Gary, and eating all the apple pie and glazed donuts he wants.

  239. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    August 6, 2020 12:45 pm

    Zpastic stands firm that he is not publishing anything until people get in line and act like the little trained attack sycophants they used to be. Poor little meth fueled chihuahua only get YDiS results when he googles his name these days. Zpastic is still pissed his lawlsuit against Demigorgawn or whoever it was failed to get his vaunted return to Arr Pee Gees or even Reddit for that matter.
    Meanwhile WotC are taking the race out of racism by making characters all vaguely sculpted forms of Play Doh or some shit. Glad I’m dead and a fucking ghost now. Fucking half head lobomites, porn stars with sloppy gaping asses, and wine aunts now represent the field of gaming. Oh yeah, Redmond Simonsen passed by in a cloud and said he’s glad he’s dead too and has forgiven me buying and trashing SPI as a grudge too.
    Porky is running almost as silent as Saltine regarding the abortion (something Saltine is familiar with) that is Destination Floptastic.

    • Stefan Pokorny, Biker Chick - 25 days ago permalink
      August 7, 2020 5:06 am

      exciting news coming very soon! Meanwhile, Behind the scenes, much lawyers activity which has been finally figured out! Menawhile, I’ll be running LIVESTREAM games for Founders and Legends 3, San Diego Comic Con for LEGION M, and Gen Con…all virtual…

  240. Lamentations of Gary Gygax’s Ghost permalink
    August 13, 2020 2:31 am

    James Mauskowitch decided he can start shitting out Grognardia articles again. Wagering we’re T-minus two articles before he starts begging for free shit again. Course that might involve turning comments on…. stay vigilant and remember the Oh Ess Arrgh never forgets a scammer.

  241. Reason permalink
    August 13, 2020 2:37 am

    So… Jmal is just blogging again at Grognardia. He assumes, of course you’ll want nary a mention of the $50k he stole but he DOES assume you need a 15 paragraph review of a skandi-metal retro-pretentious pretend game (a game you out out but no one ever really plays even if they buy it).

    Reading his blog, it’s hard to believe the milquetoast ever found enough balls to pull his scam.

  242. James Maliszewski, The Once and Future Pope of the O.S.R. permalink
    August 13, 2020 2:24 pm

    This Sunday I began my legendary Return to “Glimmermount” campaign. I had to make do with only three characters to start, which wasn’t my preference, particularly since two of the three were demihumans. Demihumans are practically bastards. I’ll concoct a suitably fiendish end for them. I seem to have misplaced my copies of the various Grimtooth publications. If any of you could send me copies, at no cost to me, in good or better condition, you would have my gratitude.

    I had already prepared maps for several levels of the dungeon, something I never bothered to do for the original “Glimmermount”. One of my design principles was to include lots of lateral movement options, both within a level and between them. It seemed like too much work, which is why I dropped the idea. One of the problems with most modern dungeon design is that there are too few avenues of exploration and the layouts are too logical. I used the AD&D random dungeon generator for the original “Dwimmermount” and was quite pleased at how it required very little work, or thought, on my part.

    All in all, it was a good start, but it was only a start. I don’t consider a campaign to have “taken” until we play at least three sessions consecutively. Session 2 should be this weekend, barring any problems, like players getting that Chinese Lung Disease that is killing so many grognards. I see promise in this game, but I admit I also have some concern it’ll be stillborn. Life is pretty hectic for most of my players, so it’d be easy for something to derail this. Likewise, we’re all out of practice when it comes to a megadungeon-centered campaign and I think it’s going to take some getting used to its nuances.

    I need something to get back into the good graces of the grognards of the OSR, and quickly, before this Chinese Lung Disease kills them off. I have to get a new roof on the house. It’s going to be expensive. Those rubes cannot resist the lure of a legendary megadungeon. I’m thinking Patreon is the platform. A few minutes of rolling dice with the AD&D random dungeon generator each week, some copy-paste from the original *Glimmermount*, a few minor text changes, and Those old fools will have their reward, and I will have their sweet cash for an absolute minimal amount of labour.

    I could use more examples of megadungeons. If any of you have copies of Stonehell, Castle Zagyg, or Rappan Athuk, send them to me. If I remember, I will give you a thank you in the credits for “Return To Glimmermount:The Legend Continues” when the completed megadungeon is finally, ahem, “published”.

  243. Timotheus permalink
    August 14, 2020 7:35 am

    Hadn’t been to the ‘Shite in a while, and was not surprised by the “THEY are coming for your books” thread. Just glancing at the end, it was hilarious to find staunch/dense ‘Shiter Brad have a total breakdown. Evidently he got into it with someone over on dtrpg in the comments of a T&T book, then went running to the ‘Shite in tears. Starts on this page:

    Two pages later, the dude he was screeching at, “Tubesock Army” shows up to stick a dagger in, revealing that Brad had temporarily set aside his Free Speech principles to cry to dtrpg powers that he was being harrassed. The picture he posts seems accurate.

    And on a personal note, I can’t help but seeing the dudette who stalks me here in that picture, crying bitterly because I won’t read hir posts.

    Have an exalt, Brad! You, too, Fake Tim/Jeffblo/Fagnus!

    • kaskoid permalink
      August 14, 2020 5:12 pm

      This Brad fellow’s real crime is playing a shit game like T&T instead of D&D! Everybody knows only fags and commies play T&T! And the B.O in Ken St. Andre’s armpits smells like rancid taco meat.

      Kill yourself, Brad, and this problem will go away for you.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        August 14, 2020 5:37 pm

        Tim, My good friend, remember GenCon XI when we sent some T&T players to Ed Greenwood’s room — the Den of Iniquity we all called it — for some “After-Hours” gaming? Remember listening through the door to their screams and squeals as Ed went about “Game-mastering” for them in his own unique and utterly depraved way? I think he had Elmore in the room too. Those virgin-nerds never had a chance.

        No, you don’t remember. Bummer. It was pretty funny. Gary even banned them from GenCon for complaining to him about how rapey Greenwood was.

  244. Timotheus permalink
    August 14, 2020 7:38 am

    Hey, Malizicewzki is back! Maybe this will cause YDIS to shake off hir long slumber! Although, the mockery of JMal’s pansy review of a product nobody knows about kinda writes itself.

  245. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 14, 2020 5:06 pm

    Wannabe edgelord and rape enthusiast Grim Jim Desborough has returned as well! Grim Jim is so desperate for attention from the SJW crowd (who have ignored him for at least five years now) that his latest product is free Free FREE! Get your OSR dungeon stocked with cocaine and hookers now before Grim Jim feigns suicide again when his love of rape with tentacles isn’t appreciated by the masses!

  246. Brad permalink
    August 14, 2020 7:56 pm

    Come on, please let me know which one of you morons is posting this tripe…please.

  247. Thimotheus permalink
    August 15, 2020 1:17 pm

    I hardly come here anymore.

    I want to retract my last statement about not reading my doppelgangers posts. Saying I don’t read them indicates that I’m so butthurt I can’t bring myself to read them. But of course I read them. Yeah, it hurts, but how can I resist? I’m finally getting some attention after a decade of coming here to be angry about other people’s hobbies. Since the moms decided my players can’t come to my basement table anymore for a shitty old game (to be honest the boys wanted to play 5th edition anyway with boys their own age rather than an old man who looks at them funny) I don’t really have anything left but jealousy about other peoples creative pursuits so I come here to point my fat finger and say “Ha!”.

    Have an exhalt! Haha see what I did there!

  248. Unblown Dragonsfoot Manchild permalink
    August 15, 2020 1:30 pm

    My view is that half-orcs are hated. Normal populations don’t accept them. If a half-orc looks human enough to pass for human, then he can enter a village at his own peril. If anyone suspects that he is a half-orc, then he risks the long glances and comments when he turns his back, at a minimum.

    Mostly likely, he’ll be expelled forcibly from the town. And, if the crowed gets riled up enough, they may just stone him to death or hang him in the town square before setting him on fire.

    Of course, there are exceptions. A town citizen is attacked by orcs, and nine months later, little Janni has a half-orc kid. The town, amazingly, doesn’t turn away from Janni, because Janni is only 13 years old to begin with (14 when she has little Grog), and Grog grows up as the defacto town mascot, loved by all.

    – Waterbob

    • James Maliszewski, Distinguished Purveyor of Fine OSR Materials permalink
      August 15, 2020 4:33 pm

      You are very wrong Waterbob. Little Janni’s Gran and Mum would see to it that the bastard baby would be “stillborn”. There would be no tolerance for bastards, especially half-orc bastards. And why did you specify that Janni is only 13? Are you a Pedophile?

      Waterbob, you are an afficionado of OSR content, no? Have you seen my storefront at where I sell a wide variety of quality OSR gaming content. Why don’t you give my Space OSR RPG a try? It is reasonably priced, and almost complete. I take requests for content too, if you send me source material, like vintage Traveller publications in good or better condition which I can use for inspiration.

    • kaskoid permalink
      August 15, 2020 4:45 pm

      You are one sick motherfucker, WaterBOOB! If I ever see you at GaryCon I will run you over with my mobility scooter, then throw it in reverse and ride over your head again! The only reason you posted this nonsense is to let everyone know you are a racist and a pedophile. No need to dog whistle at Dragonsfart though. Dragonsfart is home to racists, pedophiles, and other inbred morons.

      Kill yourself NOW Waterboob or face my wrath!!!!!

      • Franky Panky permalink
        August 18, 2020 1:37 pm

        Tim, My good friend, yes. Use the flamethrower on him first. Did you ever follow up on My suggestion to have some ultraHD video cameras installed on the Death Scooter so that we may watch the carnage over and over again. I would so love to have seen you running amok among the Shriners a few years back.

        It’s a village full of Idiots. Sadly, I once tried to be its Prince, and to elevate those oozing anal abscesses out of the shit in which they wallow. They flung the shit at Me instead. Ingrates. Crush them all My friend. Gary lo vult.

      • kaskoid permalink
        August 20, 2020 7:45 pm

        Do I know you?

  249. Christian Walker - Destination Unblown permalink
    August 16, 2020 1:21 pm

    King David is all of us – capable of such great feats, yet very human and frail. We’re all seeking shelter in Gath these days, trying to figure out how our present situation is so different from what we imagined. Until better days arrive, we will play on and make the best of it.

    PS: Grognardia is back and my world feels a little more whole. Nice!

    • kaskoid permalink
      August 20, 2020 7:47 pm

      You I think I know. Did you try to teach me how to fish on the beach once? I was too stoned to figure out what you were going on about.

  250. August 16, 2020 2:09 pm

    Hey ya’ll, you have to admit the commenters on my blog are the smartest of the bunch. You know, because gamers who doen’t support me is a dumb spineless nerd.

    Totktospit said…
    I have just searched information about “Blood In The Chocolate” and I have not seen anything super offensive. It looks kike weird adventure. And things like possible fun cannibalism are actually omages to the actual table top play. The main selling point of RPGs is the freedom to do anything. And If you invite a new player to the game (assumption is she is not resident of nerdy states of geekdom) she will try to test it freedom. If players without sticks in their asses and have not wanked on elves too much, they will begin to invent weird often immoral actions to test limits. It is similar to people playing computer games testing the boundaries of sandboxes. And in my humble opinion it is easier to interest people with something like weird Willy Fona factory or Pirates of Caribean Asteroids or any other weird original setting than in forgotten realms bullshit. I can’t even imagine that somebody would care about Llolth or Garosh or other lore. Lore is overestimated in general. Even if something is weird fetish adventure it is not big deal, players with freedom can make booring LoTR in fun hobbits vs hookers without outside help. Fun police should calm down a little bit.
    August 15, 2020 at 3:00 PM

    Zak Sabbath said…
    i agree, but others disagree.

    and when that happens, the only important conversation is about proof

  251. Timothemoteoetous permalink
    August 19, 2020 12:59 am, guyz. I don’t read that dudettes posts. honest. she/he cries like a little bitch because I don’t.

    It’s important to me that you believe that. You do believe, right? Guyz? I…DON’T…FUCKING…READ…THEM.

    I don’t.

    Sorry, no exalt today. Sigh!

    • kaskoid permalink
      August 19, 2020 11:02 am

      Why are Black people talking about hockey between periods? Black people don’t play hockey. What’s next? Black people talking about swimming at the Olympics?

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 19, 2020 10:08 pm

        You misheard, Kask of Amontillado, they were talking about honkeys.

      • kaskoid permalink
        August 20, 2020 7:42 pm

        You’re probably right. Although I don’t even remember posting this anymore. My brain is like Swiss cheese from all the drugs I’ve taken over the years. And it was a lot of drugs. Still like to indulge too! 😉

        Maybe you know why black people think they are orcs?

        I do remember a conversation I had with Gygax though back in the day when he told me wererats were based on the Jews of the Middle Ages.

        I’m also not a fan of all this political correctness nonsense, but I don’t remember what that is.

        I’m going to take a few hits off the old dragon bong now.

  252. Timotheus permalink
    August 21, 2020 5:24 am

    Swung by for my weekly drive-by, and I see Fake Tim has posted twice since then. Hilarious how far I am in your little head.

    I admit there was a temptation to read them, but it is a lot funnier knowing you punch your screen when I can’t be bothered. I’m sure you are just giving free reign to your pedophilic fantasies anyway.

    Dance, monkey, dance!