If there’s one thing we can all agree about it’s that Oakes Spalding is a wretched cunt
This inveterate little pissgurgler needs no introduction. He barely finds time to post about D&D now he’s so freaked out about Mooslums, but his latest post is a little curious considering his past (current status?) as a deadbeat dad:
“The current Catholic Church is stupid and evil, why don’t they encourage all families to shit out 8+ children???”
Flashback to a year ago:
“HELP US!” *rattles tin cup* “Our Catholic family has too many kids and no money to support them, please send money for manservants and quad stroller GOD BLESS!” *smiles and poops pants*
Gotta admit, this Opus Dei crowd has chutzpah. As shitty as trotting out “bastardy” was, JaMal had the common sense and empathy to remove himself from public forums when he got called out. This dopey fucker sticks to his guns like pubic hair sticks to soap. I pray to Jesus and Little Baby Jesus that Oakes & Julie make the switch to buttfucking, cumming on her tits obviously isn’t working and they’re gonna need a bigger stroller and a better Go Fund Me.
we tried withdrawal and all we got were four hungry mouths š¦
Your Dungeon Is Suck. 
Now that the kiddie-diddlin’ Duggars are off the TeeVee, maybe Oakes and his acorns can get a show of their own.
Also, the trend being talked up among the ‘more Catholic than the Pope’ types is being called the Benedict Option (as opposed to Kent’s weekend plans, the Bingeondick Option) , but these clowns haven’t retreated behind monastery walls yet, just like the d-bag glibertarians never seem to ‘Go Galt’.
This topic is actually more in my wheelhouse than commenting on gamers. Pax vobiscum!
OMG THAT WOULD BE AWESOME! As far as I’m concerned they can have anything that was a Confederate State, or anything else that doesn’t border an ocean or have cool ski resorts.
Oakes who? I had to go through his G+ page (always feels a shade too creepy) even to find out why he’s on our radar.
OK, so Save Versus All Wands is a blog (of which I have NEVER heard) which at some point has been about RPGs before it was co-opted by an agenda of religious trollery, on the flimsy excuse that someone who worked for Charlie Hebdo also illustrated something a bit D&Dish at some stage?
How am I doing? Close?
If his wife ever made her saving throw against his wand, they wouldn’t be in financial straits.
Fun, but inaccurate. Bloodymage’s Syndrome. Cause: mobile phone radiation Symptoms: mild chi imbalance, fear of drowning, vague blisters Cure: take three Prozac tablets and come back in the morning bloodymage’s actual disorders: sleep apnea extremely oily skin urinary hesitancy IBS OCD bad hearing a…
I looked last night and it looks to me more like he is holding something in his hands. I can’t and don’t want to imagine what! :0
Ye gods, I said ‘our’ and not ‘your’ up there. My turn toward the dark side is complete. At last I can reveal myself to the Unblown; at last I shall have my revenge. But who’s first? Which is lower and more base?
Type I) Those who review products with a handful of pictures, a blurb, and a link to purchase with nary a critical word of their own to be said for or against the product in hand?
Type II) Those who recommend works in any medium but refuse to explain what’s good about it and cop out with a sneer and a jibe rather than good honest support for their claims?
Type III) Those who bloviate about themselves, their products and their real or imaginary enemies at length under the guise of doing either?
Type IV) Those whose gaming blog speaks more of their day job, their fear and loathing of Muslims/Jews/Protestants/foreigners/Tories/the socially unjust, their religious convictions, sexual characteristics and orientations and predilections, Rune Magick etc. than of anything about remotely to do with games?
Type V) CAPSLOCK MOARONS, sockpuppets, bots, failed businessmen and other such rabble?
I can’t decide which of these is more vexing to my senses and thus to blame for my descent into this pit of voles every bloody morning while I wait for various drugs to wear off or kick in.
I am of course above criticism and reproach in all ways and having a go at me is probably ableism or something. Also I include myself in Type IV, in those moments when I admit to being anything less than the patron saint of trolls and troublemakers, smiling down and interceding but rarely to ask “does this soft target really merit your time or can you go after someone who’s actually done something BAD?”
You’re having your fun and that’s all that counts.
Every time I see Von’s little picture I think of Snatch. I imagine a heist involving a shrink wrapped copy of Palace of the Silver Princess. Cause nothing says Dungeons & Dragons like a Hasidic Jew disguise.
This isn’t even the first time I’ve been mistaken for a Hasidic Jew. Also, that photo is something like five years old. I really do need a new picture.
Woolly Bullies.
Mean Girls.
That sucks š¦ What did they do to you?
Nothing, that’s why he thinks they’re mean.
You guys are like dirty urchins from a Dickens orphanage, the ones who make the limping lad cry and end up having their skulls caved in by the drunk who runs the place.
==
ydis, try punching up. There’s more kudos in it. No you are not at the top of the world.
I have been at the top and it is a tedious place to be if you are funny yet principled like me, Jesus and Gervais.
The only time you were at the top was the time you fucked Mjollnir. Why have you suddenly discovered scruples, you hypocritical freak?
Can you believe this stupid cunt ? — Oh sniff boo hoo women are not presented as warriors or adventurers in a medieval romance. Yeah … women will never be presented as warriors or adventurers EVER in popular culture except by liars trying to make money from a female (or faggot guy) audience. Women are physically incompetent cry babies and whoever doesn’t know that has never been close to a woman.
http://falsemachine.blogspot.ie/2015/07/arthurian-problems.html
I agree with the first part. Watching them reinvent the Pendragon wheel is classic “OSR.” Because nobody’s posed these questions before and we were all waiting for their genius.
Confidential to VON: gabba gabba! That icon always looked like Jodorowsky cosplay to me. http://img12.nnm.me/2/7/3/2/b/4153c485ca96f4f3ae1e93a0b99.jpg
My mind is slightly broadened today. Good work.
As for Patrick’s post, there are a great many problems of his own making in there, chief among them being the expectation that the Arthurian (or any particularly demanding) milieu will last for that long in the hands of any given group of roleplayers. Leaving aside the seemingly inevitable Monty bloody Python, any game requiring buy-in and sustained adoption of a given mindset/worldview/zeitgeist will succeed only to the extent that its most casual player will allow it to.
At the risk of descending into the foetid mires of roleplaying minutiae once more, yes, that is a fundamental problem with many historical/mythical settings(most heinous offender Kindred of the East).
The time-buy in is astronomical for both players and GM, which is why i dont get why one would consider anything but adhering to the established canon/mood/theme with a devotion bordering on worship. You need that to sustain the game anyway. Changing ‘problematic’ aspects of the myth renders the emulation of the genre somewhat trivial.
#Seriouselfgames
The aggravating thing is that many of these ‘problems’ are not ‘problems’ in a meaningful sense of the word. What matters most is the experience of the actual human beings who have sat down to play, say, an Arthurian RPG, and therefore accepted a certain archaism in the events and characters portrayed therein.
Expecting that you will be able transport your modern values into that milieu is foolish. Expecting that you will be able to entirely forsake your modern values whilst gaming in that milieu is also foolish. This whole endeavour is foolish but might still be fun if embraced and invested into. It’s nonsense but we do it anyway because it’s brilliant nonsense.
A sixth Type of sinner may perhaps be warranted: those who suggest that there is no fun to be had in that ‘devotion and worship’ style of play and that everything must be gonzoid irony with a hearty dose of self-deprecation. I move that it is possible to take your elfgames seriously and have an enjoyable experience by doing so. I do think it’s unsustainable though: keeping up that level of investment and commitment for something that is supposed to be recreational is a sure-fire route to burnout. I’ve seen it happen.
I expect my courtesy slap and warning to get on with the dick jokes any minute now.
To abandon entirely the ball-and-chain of our cultural heritage when we transfer to worlds of make believe is an impossible pipedream sure. However, as you say, the lifespan of such a high investment campaign is going to be dramatically shorter, therefore i move that to begin such an endeavour with anything but the highest aspirations and devotion to versimilitude is foolish(or perhaps hubristic).
Your category of sinner is apt. Elfgames that warrant serious play would not be so prevalent if they weren’t on some level appealing. Nevertheless, even the most serious campaign needs its moments of levity or irony, however grounded in versimilitude, for it is these moments that render the dramatic moments all the more meaningful.
I have a secret ambition to do some sort of ultra-invested, ultra-serious game sometime but assembling a crack team of roleplayers to tackle such a monstrosity is a challenge to all but the most social and well connected of dungeonmasters. The tiniest disagreement, the merest incompatibility, a single shitty session, could unbalance it all and cause it it come tumbling down. Though i have a sneaking suspicion that if you make it past session 10 you get some slack. A good benchmark for any GM is if they can sustain their game for over 10 sessions. Same goes for knobbing a fine wench. With my dick. Bro.
Grognard.txt
I checked grognard.txt but all i found was SJW-agenda pushing and gamer social retardation š¦
“And the women, I love yaāll, yaāll got it going on.” – ODB.
Also, Sir Britomart was a dirty woman protecting an effeminate Kent-style dork. 16th century is good enough precedent for me.
Well, that unconvincing false piety jag didn’t last too long, demonstrating that Brandoch Durr Hurr demonstrates the intellectual consistency of a nudibranch.
Satan is a “hot chick,” which is “awesome,” and then later…the game doesn’t represent women!
Cognitive dissonance. Dude should know posting on a game blog how sensitive he is to the plight of females won’t get him laid.
–should know posting on a game blog how sensitive he is to the plight of females wonāt get him laid.
Haw Haaaw.
Jesus Christ this girl is funny but a cunt. Watch the videos from the top down in this list.
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=amy+schumer+roast
Would I be afraid to meet this whore ? Not anywhere it is legal to mush my cock in her face to shut her up.
Except when he is biting his pillow and taking big dicks up his ass, Kent (aka Kunt) is essentially meaningless – a non-entity. Please join me by taking the pledge to ignore all of Kent’s (Kunt’s) posts to YDIS from now on, no matter how frequently he shits the place up with his closet gay drunken Irish blabbering.
From now on, Kent (Kunt) is Person Non Grata. His existence is meaningless and his posts irrelevant. No reply or acknowledgement is needed when his drunk Irish ass (typical) finds its way here. Please reply below to confirm Kent’s meaningless existence.
#KentIsGay #KentCommitSuicideNow #PseudointellectualGayKent
Good Lord, Tao of Alexis is working at a TGIFridays or something š¦
Link so i can send vibes š¦
So he’s a fry cook now but he’s pretending to be a cordon bleu chef at a gourmet restaurant. Kind of like when he did vanity press then pretended to be a real author. Okay.
I can picture him haranguing customers about having fun at the table- “You’re here to eat, stop enjoying conversation!”
Alternate take: “Count the French fries!”
I have not been in there in decades. Do they still have pot stickers? Those were good. I think. And I bet Lexi can snag all the ones that drop on the floor to take home for snackie time.
http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=69187
I think we have goofed on this in the past, but seeing as we are talking about retards. When this is in hardback, I think Andrew Dice Clay should do the Forward…
“Little Bo Peep. She fucked her sheep
she blew her horse, she licked his feet
she ate his ass, all very nice
licked his balls not once, but twice”
Laugh all you want, but the game mechanics are sound. I’m running a play-by-post game. Mjollnir’s playing a white rat, Pundejo’s playing a Uruguayan jackass, and Kent’s playing a gerbil that lives up an Irish grad student’s ass. The campaign is an adaptation of a Gygaxian classic, I call itThe a Sheep on the Borderlands. JMal is supposed to join us for the next session, he’s going to play a weasel with 2,000 coppers.
IN THE NEWS
===
http://publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/people/article/67627-fantasy-writer-greenwood-launches-publishing-group.html?fb_action_ids=10153534060444834&fb_action_types=og.likes
===
Ed Greenwood is best known by fans of fantasy novels and gaming as the bearded creator of the Forgotten Realms universe for Dungeons and Dragons. Over the past 30 years, Greenwood, who lives in an old farmhouse in eastern Ontario, has published more than 200 fantasy and science-fiction novels. This fall, he is launching an unconventional publishing group of his own, called The Ed Greenwood Group (TEGG), where he will focus on titlesāas well as games and artāinvolving newly created fantasy worlds.
āOver the years, Forgotten Realms and gaming have taken me all over the world and made me all sorts of new friends,” he said. “That, for me, is the payoffāthe fact that Iām not alone, sitting there creating this thing in my head.ā
The first book published by TEGG will be Your World is Doomed by Greenwood himself, with cover art from Eric Belisle. The book, to be published on Halloween, will be the first set in a demon-filled urban fantasy world called Hellmaw. Working with other writers, Greenwood plans to publish novels in genres ranging from space opera to spy thriller to steampunk. TEGG will also produce games, jewellery, costumes, and other objects inspired by these fantasy settings. Greenwood has already signed up more than 100 authors, 30 game designers, and 50 artisans interested in getting involved.
Wisconsin-based ACD Distribution, a major distributor of gaming products, will handle TEGG books and other items. Meanwhile, TEGG has reached a deal with Trajectory Inc. for e-book distribution, and Trapdoor Technologies for enhanced e-books. The books will be available in all formats simultaneously. The publisher has also reached a deal for first serialization rights with the science fiction magazine Amazing Stories, which will publish the first three chapters of each TEGG book.
The finances is where TEGG differs from a traditional publisher. According to Greenwood, everyone from the authors to the artists to the distributors (and himself) will receive a percentage of the overall profits, instead of advance payment. āThey are partners in this, not employees,ā he said. āThatās what weāre trying to do, to get away from the huge capital investment up front.ā
Greenwood is also partnering with Toronto-based dark fantasy publisher ChiZine Publications. Co-publishers of ChiZine, Brett Savory and Sandra Kasturi, will write story arcs for new fantasy settings; they will also get authors from their own stable involved in writing. āIt means their authors get to play in my settings,ā explained Greenwood. āWe didnāt want to poach writers away from them, because I donāt think thatās a nice thing to do. I want to work with my friends, because Canadian genre publishing is a really small pool.ā
Greenwood has ambitious plans for the next 10 years, involving more than a dozen distinct fantasy settings and 50 books published each year. Heās already begun mapping out each series, so that authors and artists can jump in and request to be involved with whichever one interests them. āI am going to sleep very little,ā he said. āBut on the other hand, Iām going to be doing what I love.ā
===
When asked whether the fantasy publishing market can support an additional title a week, Greenwood’s people shrugged. “That’s everybody else’s problem,” they told us. “We’re going to crowd them off the shelves like your mom’s used d20 supplements and that, for me, is the payoff.”
I liked the diplomatic use of the word ‘bearded’ in the first sentence.
Finally, a reputable company buy my steampunk costumes from. I’m soooo tired of having to make these damn gyroscope goggles myself.
This is going to end well… Ah well, when Ed spends all the money on OxyContin and absinthe he can always point at Nystul, JMaul, and Whitman and claim he only ripped off his creative talent pool and NOT his faithful customers and fanbase. All will be forgiven, Ed, so pop those fucking pills and join me up here in heaven already.
Gentlemen, may I introduce you to Elminster’s Army?
http://officeedgreenwood.com/sessorium/
They can all join together to form a giant robot, Elminstron. Evildoers beware!
I was looking for Gleep Wurp and Frush O’Suggill, haha that’s a little Greyhawk humor for you.
You know who I am missing from that Ed Greenwood “writers” entourage?
Tracey Alley
Well, she’s Australian, but maybe he can make room for another Commonwealth member.
To me, that cyberbullying campaign’s still the biggest a-hole move i’ve seen out of all these dumbasses. You can still google Tracey and the first hit you get is “Plagiarism and Copyright Infringement”.
I’m disappointing they don’t mention more of his great history in the game industry. Why no mention of the gigantic meals followed by gigantic dumps that plugged up all the TSR toilets, and how Mentzer used to have to spend the weekend plunging them out.
Or the epic level ass-crack aroma he’d develop by day two of a con. Really, what happened to good journalism?
The bad news is that he’s going to flood an already oversaturated market with poorly written odes to Mary Sue.
The good news is that Chuck Tingle is on-board. Pounded up the Butt by Elminster’s Butt is scheduled for release just in time for Canadian Christmas.
Shit, Canadian Christmas is like, next week! Save your Canadian pennies for the costumes and accessories, lads!
Damn, it always sneaks up on me. I really need to buy a metric calendar.
This just hit me- Greenwood wants to work with a Canadian publisher and to foster Canadian genre authors, yet he hasn’t hired Alexis?
Poor Lexi is languishing in the hell of an Applebee’s kitchen, and Greenwood lifts not a finger to help. Do you think Greenwood is glorying in Lexi’s plight?
“I’d like to order thirty plates of honey-glazed cheesesteak nachos, tell the cook not to be stingy with the HFCS!”
I posted his comments on G+ about muslims on a jihadist message board along with pics of his fat wife and their ass spawn kids. I made sure to give directions to their house. Hopefully, the jihadi will wreck their shit
Now that’s not the Venger Satanis we all know, the Cthulhu-cuddling cutup. The real Venger would just cast a speel on Oakes. I believe you are an imposter.
Stop giving evil cultists a bad name.
Uh, “spell”… although casting spiels would be a good name for a gaming blog.
I don’t know much about it but the whole thing seems like a moronic shitshow and nerds picking fight with each other.
And now a word from our sponsor! Buy some product!
http://www.tenkarstavern.com/2015/07/zak-s-saved-d-dont-believe-it-zak-zak.html
I would totally buy a “Zak S. has dribbly cumshots – Peter North he ain’t!” shirt.
I’d also buy a “Ken St. Andre shat on my con game – JaMal” shirt.
Mebbe a “Ed Greenwood stunk up the hospitality suite and ate all the M&M’s” shirt.
“Mandy Morbid is exactly that and then some?”
“Satine Phoenix sez she’s my friend but won’t blow me – Zak Smith”?
“I’m with Bloodymage” and an arrow pointing left or right?
Arrow points down
I could note that there have of course been times when Republicans (politicians or writers/celebrities/activists) have outright lied, of course. It does happen. The difference is that lying is seen as something grotesquely wrong to the right; to the point that liars go to great pains to try to cover it up and are largely discredited if it is proven they did intentionally lie.
Whereas the left will stick to its liars, when they think the lies are politically useful and fit the “narrative” anyways. Witness Mattress-girl, or the fake racism at Oberlin, where the students and administration just decided to keep on pretending that the racist slurs had really happened.
I love getting my US political analysis from a Canadian ex-pat in South America with an unhealthy fixation on oral appliances and magic curses. Better than cut and paste RPG settings I guess.
Second, this blog is MY space and it is a space that men are welcome to speak in, so long as they are respectful, on-point, and donāt make the conversation.
I don’t know if that’s a transcriber’s error or what, but being ‘welcome to speak’ as long as you don’t ‘make conversation’ reads like an invitation to monologue (and thus be shot down for doing so whilst in possession of masculinity). IT’S A TRAP!
So, I don’t know how many of you know this, but…
I’m currently the Art Director / Project Manager for the 3rd printing of Swords & Wizardry, which features an all-woman design team. All the design is done by women with the exception of the writing, which still remains Matt Finch’s (although I hear he takes it up the ass, so…). It’s a grand experiment to see if changing artwork changes women’s view of OSR games.
So if those stinking cunts don’t want to support feminism by buying into Frog God Games’ latest Kickstarter Money-Grab Edition of S&W, then fuck their goddamned mattress-dragging asses. Because there is nothing more I can say, except that Tenkar is creepy, the way he actually pays attention to his fucking Stepford-ass wife. Also, I have drilled Zack with a Judas Priest studded-strap-on and he begged for more like the little Bo-Peep bitch that he tries so hard to obscure with that cutting edge manly-man haircut.
“All the design is done by women with the exception of the writing, which still remains Matt Finchās (although I hear he takes it up the ass, soā¦). Itās a grand experiment to see if changing artwork changes womenās view of OSR games.”
Interesting experiment, but is there enough distinction between S&W’s writing and art style to make it worth doing? I’d go for something with a more extreme disconnect. For their next trick, they could try changing all the illustrations in LotFP and see if women view it as a basically decent OD&D-with-ascending-AC-and-different-domain-rules system once you strip away every trace of Raggi’s grindhouse tendencies and piss-poor quality control.
It seems that if a group of men decided, “Let’s re-edit S&W so it is more appealing to women” they would be attacked as mansplaining. But since it is a group of women condescending to their fellow women, it is OK?
Either way, it is pretty crass. No surprise, the way S&W has been developed since Bill at Frog God got it. This will be at least the second time S&W has been Kickstarted under his guidance, not including the first time he soaked the Necromancer faithful with a hardcover “S&W Complete” that fell apart the second time you used it.
The spice must flow, and a new iteration of the old cut-n-paste is the easiest way to make product.
The real question is, with the availability of the originals in PDF, why would anyone buy?
For their next trick, they could try changing all the illustrations in LotFP and see if women view it as a basically decent OD&D-with-ascending-AC-and-different-domain-rules system once you strip away every trace of Raggiās grindhouse tendencies and piss-poor quality control.
All of the new illustrations could depict a morbidly obese metalhead in peril.
“The spice must flow”
Heh. You mentioned this a few times, and rightfully so, Bigs. I keep seeing Raggi in an anti-grav belt spinning around in his Finnish box apartment, knocking over shelves and lamps and stacks of LotFap stuff, while trying to burst his acne with huge hypos, and issuing phantom orders to speed up production of Towers Two and Sky Fortress Buddha.
*shudder*
All of the new illustrations could depict a morbidly obese metalhead in peril.
#vibes
I dunno, might be interesting to see what they come up with. And when Wundergeek-style de-eroticized illustrated rules come out, try to see if there’s any measurable interest from the lovely, lovely estrogen.
If the new pics have lots of naked chicks (and maybe some hot ladyboys to be inclusive), I’m down with it. If it’s a bunch of bull-dyke bitches in manly dress, then I’m not interested. (I had a bad experience that still haunts me…)
Well, our favourite cleric/thief just moved his piggy fingers to send me my Delving Deeper box set. I know, I know, but I paid for this in 2011 when I just wanted a set of print rules to keep me from re-editing the mess that is 0E. So I dropped my $40 on what looked like a promising and also “ready to ship in Nov” box. Flash forward to today. What do I get in the mail? I’m glad you asked. I got the $4.95 no art compendium, a cardstock map and some crappy dice. Maybe we should make it cleric/thief/jester, because 800% profit ain’t a bad deal. I posted a comment about it on the BH site, but it may not make it through “moderation”. No offer of any kind to make up the slack on the extra $35. This guy is really scum. Sometimes it helps to talk about it.
Damn, dude, you got hosed. He didn’t even include a copy of that Dagger game that nobody wanted.
Yeah, this dude has completely worn out his welcome. He could have at least dropped a theoretically extant copy of that Appendix N bullshit on me, but not even that. Alright, I got what I expected, now I just have to hound him about it all across the internet until my dying day.
He shipped you stuff, and therefor he didn’t have the money to keep his web-domain running! I hope you’re proud of yourself.
http://bravehalfling.com/cgi-sys/suspendedpage.cgi
Send a picture of what $40 gets you from Brave Halfling and I’ll post it.
Shit, try again.
Right-click -> save gives you full size.
$40 and a month shy of 4 years worth of waiting and here’s what you’ll get.
Noice.
Does anyone have a sockpuppet or unneeded account at ODD74? Seems like they’ve stopped registration and I was going to start shaming him there. If someone wants to chime in and help get the train rolling, I’d be mighty obliged.
OK, sent him an email that ran like this:
John, you sent me a $5.00 rulebook, crappy dice and a cardstock map. Is this for real? What makes up for the 4 years of wait and $35? I am extremely disappointed. Itās like I paid to wait to be ripped off.
And got a reply:
Thank you for contacting me.
Like I told you on July 14, I am currently traveling and do not have my remaining Delving Deeper boxed sets with me, but that I did have a number of the Delving Deeper 2nd shipments with me and that I would at least get that out to you as soon as possible – which is what I did.
That does not make up for years-long wait, but as soon as I can get back to where my DD boxed sets, you will get one.
How many years do you think it will take?
Hey, guys, don’t forget to support Ernie Gygax and Benmoist Pore’s Mammory Tomb on Kickstarter! They are totally not pushing the Gygax name at you every other sentence!
Damn, I am too stupid to post links anymore. Try this:
https://www.kickstarter. com/projects/1709227718/ernest-gary-gygax-jrs-marmoreal-tomb-campaign-star
and remove the space between the dot and the com. And then be sure tobuy in at the Gay Emporer level so you can co-DM with Ernie “I am NOT trading on my last name” Gygax!
Hmm… reminder that Elise Gygax is still out there, one of the ‘first’ players. Wonder if she’s got a dungeon to sell?
Hard to tell cause of the “Play” button, but is that giant punching himself in the face?
Get some whiskey (it’s less than 20 feet away from most of you) and toast Rowdy Roddy Piper, ya dinks.
Already done, as well as cried. No shame. Now heaven’s tag team is complete: Piper and Savage.
Suddenly, the world is all out of bubblegum.
Ugh, this just gets worse and worse. Who’s next… Virgil?!?!?
I don’t know what’s worse – Zaks false modesty, the wailing and gnashing of teeth, or Pundit waving his hands desperately saying, “Hey! Don’t people hate me too? Hey! Hey!”
Just a reminder – The Ennies are tainted this year and going forward because of the original inclusion of the Mass Effect stolen IP RPG. It’s like the Patriots winning the Super Bowl last February – the win doesn’t count in the minds of the fans because Brady got caught cheating and suspended.
And it all comes back to deflated balls, doesn’t it?
And as you did in fact just win Best Writing, you’ve just proven that the ENnies are a sham, absolutely. Because your math still stands. By all rights, your win there proves there were people who voted for you as BEST WRITER who never actually read the writing of R&PL.
Again, all congratulations to you and you deserve it, but you’ve also just managed to prove that the ENnies are a meaningless popularity contest that’s hopelessly flawed.
RPGPlagiarist reminds us that last year someone wore a Zak S AND RPGPundit Saved D&D tee shirt at GenCon. DON’T FORGET ME I’M HATED TOO!!!
http://therpgpundit.blogspot.com/2015/08/who-saved-d.html
Sorry, asshat. When it comes to saving D&D, you’re thinking of Ryan Dancey.
“Because your math still stands. By all rights, your win there proves there were people who voted for you as BEST WRITER who never actually read the writing of R&PL.”
Psst. Hey RPGPundick! Only 3,000 print copies, but Red & Pleasant Land was RELEASED IN PDF TOO YOU DUMB FUCK!!!!
Plus I downloaded my complimentary PDF copy from 7chan, so there was no sale recorded.
#ZakFan4Life #DoingGay
Hey parents! This is Zak S the Porn Star who saved the D&D your kids want you to buy them!
#HasbroFamilyGameNight #Toys4Tots #RPGs4Kids #Toys4Twats
āBecause your math still stands. By all rights, your win there proves there were people who voted for you as BEST WRITER who never actually read the writing of R&PL.ā
Pundit’s right. Hundreds of #gamergate fatbeards came out of the woodwork to vote for Zak in the ENnies who never read his book let alone ever played a tabletop RPG just like they did in the Hugo Awards.
Congratulations Zak S for taking home ENnie Gold and Silver for A Red and Pleasant Land!
I think this is the cover…
Would backing Ernie Gygax’s (and by Ernie Gygax I mean RPGPlagiarist’s right hand lackey and rim jobber Benoist) Manboobial Tomb campaign setting on Kickstarter be a good idea? Asking for a friend.
The best part of all of this is how the pro-Raggi/Zak camp is framing this as a victory for the little guys, who are toppling the industry-as-is by beating Hasbro out in a few categories in an otherwise meaningless ballot-stuffing contest… plus.google.com/+StacyDellorfano/posts/BLxRSL4QJqW
Stacy Dellorfano is a whore bitch who thinks she’s relevant in gaming because she possesses a pussy. Women are so fucking stupid.
Oh Venger Satanis, that attitude is not very nice.
Please, tell us how you really feel…
Again, I’m going to have to call bullshit on fake Venger. Stupid misogyny isn’t Venger’s MO, hoss, goofy fake Satanism is.
It’s like the earlier fake Venger claiming to sic ISIS militants on Oakes and his family. Why would the high priest of Cthulhu get involved in an internecine squabble between two heterodox offshoots of the Cult of the Levantine Sky God? Venger adheres to a religion that hearkens back to the pre-human ages of sea-swallowed Lemuria, why should he care about the cultists of a Bronze Age parvenu?
Seriously, fake Venger, you’re giving evil cultists a bad name.
Don’t mess with the bloodymage!
So this is how democracy dies. Ballot-stuffing for the Gatekeepers of the blOwSR.
I, for one, cannot wait to welcome our new insect overlords.
You have to admit though, Ballot-stuffed ennies for indie products is an improvement on ballot-stuffed ennies for products that are so omnipresent to award them is an excercise in futility and indeed, hubris, given the wide ‘recognition’ of such an award.
Sad Puppy logic! Gah! š
I’m no fan of the mainstream, of course. But surely there is a more deserving indie project than RaPeLand? Zak won because of his relentless social media campaign to his syncophants. I’d rather see something better win. Deep Carbon Observatory was misery tourism, but still more imaginative than an Alice-Dracula mash-up with shitty art.
But awards ARE pretty fucking stupid. So maybe that is the real take-away here, that and the fact that quality is less deserving of recognition than whatever is promoted by ideological slate voting.
Don’t blame me, I voted for
Bill and OpusThe Ertian Chronicles.Hahaha.
I’m sort of alone on this(okay Von agrees but he likes VtM for fuck’s sake[psst, Von, i am sorry but i am low in OSR cred and yours is the softest and most gentile of all targets]), but i browsed through RaPl and my thoughts were sort of: “Ya know, this shit is halfway imaginative. That’s a neat puzzle. That’s an okay concept etc.” I don’t agree its the finest of all possible OSR, a gold-plated effigy fit to bow down and worship to and i still think Zak’s a twat but i don’t know if i can honestly state RaPl sucked. The maps and some of the art look awful. Who knows, maybe ill review it on my BLOG THAT I HAVE HINT HINT HINT DELICIOUS CLICKBAIT.
DCO is misery tourism in the same way Quelong is misery tourism. I think playing in a warzone like that and reading a story about it is radically different, but then again i run Dark Heresy and i’ve managed to make that not altogether depressing(though of course the destruction of an entire planet to save its population from an altogether worse fate and the deaths of innocents to get one of the players to confess to a false crime did come up and had the required impact).
TLDR disregard anything i said, i suck cocks.
I pretty much agree with all that, prince. Not saying it blows, just that it is difficult to believe it is the best thing that came out last year, unless EVERYTHING sucked shit. I have seen a few preview pages, and it does have some imaginative stuff, if you like the silly side of role playing. The art and maps I saw were pretty garish.
I am torn on the mysery tourism; it can certainly be done well, but usually isn’t. Quelong does look kinda cool – I hate to buy anything from Raggs, but I may get that at some point. Not familiar with Dark Heresy, though I have heard of it. Your anecdote sounds intriguing…
For fuck’s sake please do not give these slapdicks an excuse to start spamming about Games Workshop products again
In the aftermath of the Ennies I think it fitting to clean up and post my review, prefixed with “I don’t care how many of the author’s friends told him it was great and of course he’s a shameless huckster (forgiveable) and an argumentative gitsworth BUT by a man’s works shall ye know him and the role of a good reviewer is to derail the hype train and rummage the wreckage for evidential scraps.” Or words to that effect. For good or ill the reviews on my blog seem to be perenially popular, by the way. I don’t know why either: I like WoD and so clearly lack taste. [Fuck you you dyke-plugging dope-fiend Prince of Traitors, I thought we had something but clearly I need a syphilis test and an immediate exit from the EU, you terrible cunt. May you be driven into the Eye there to languish for ten thousand years and come back with toenails growing out of your every orifice.]
I am willing to entertain the idea that the RPG industry’s collective bar is set so low that even ‘top end of average’ seems worthy of notice but, as Tim says, it’s about mobilising your e-minions really.
That Patrick fella wrote Deep Carbon Obsevatory, right? Having read him on other topics I believe him to be a fairly sound lad with a tendency to overuse the left (left?) brain. The occasional bout of stupid gamer angst over imaginary problems is a side-effect of thinking too hard about games and so I may forgive him his Arthurian posts since I suffered something similar over women’s gothic and Ravenplop.
Dark Heresy is endorsed but only if you like WFRP and don’t mind a similar level of bloat. The increased control at chargen and the more linear progression, less dependent on the GM carefully avoiding opportunities to adopt a particular career, mean that you might have to accept more ‘build optimisation’ cockwaffles than you’d like, but otherwise it’s pretty similar. 40KRP scores fewer lasguns out of ten though, because it’s tonally limited: careers and options are farmed out across four reiterations of the core rules (spice must flow) and each is the size of first edition WFRP which managed to be a complete game with a range of different campaign styles baked in.
@Von/tim
[Cackling, Jack daniels, chortle and snortjoy, exhalations of merryment, bag of morons I’ve had my fun etc. Also i am not moving to Belgium for ten thousand years.]
Yah it’s a popularity contest, a meaningless one at that. If people gave a shit about the Ennies i see no possible way Paizo or Wotc could ever lose one, i mean, they would actually be trying to get one and shit. You will notice Zak never actually tries to debunk Tarnowski’s point about popularity contests by people that don’t read(or maybe RaPL did indeed sell 23.000 copies/pdfs…somehow).
Patrick is a faggot. But DCO is cool.
Von is pretty much entirely right about DH(although his point about the classes across 4(5?) different iterations of the core rules is wonky), but the spice must flow nonsense does mean you get a stripped down version of the core rules with nigh essential backgrounds being added later on and ive never looked at DH from the perspective of an illiterate peasant unable to spout hours and hours worth of 40k lore so i am absolutely biased when i say i love it. Nevertheless, DH with its Perils of the Warp horrid psychic backlash, mutation and insanity and critical damage tables is absolutely amazing and a blast to play.
It’s not so much about classes as it is about storygamer shit like theme and style. Dark Heresy is built to be ‘investigative horror in which we the PCs are likely to get squished at some stage’, Rogue Trader is built to be ‘swashbuckling space adventures and we get our own flying cathedral’, Deathwatch is ‘SPAAASS MAUREENS’, the Imperial Guardy one is ‘Band of Brothers in space’, and my point is that a decently designed Warhammer In Space RPG would not farm those themes out to four different versions of itself but would be a single core manual with guidance on how to engineer those particular ‘flavours’ within it. It is the usual ‘good business means design compromises’ thing rearing its ugly head. I don’t fault Fantasy Flight for wanting to pay their staff’s mortgages and so on, business is business and if we did things efficiently our social structures would probably implode overnight or something, but again: I am not a Designer of Games with a living to make in the industry, I am a Player and Critic of Games and therefore feel I have business pointing out when things have been made poorly, for -whatever- reason. In the tension between our needs and theirs exists a territory in which it is possible for things to be serviceable.
I maintain that given the amount of information, rules and flavour, neccesary to make even a token effort of covering all those playstyles within a single core book set in the 40k universe and aiming it at someone who is only quasi-familiar with the setting, not like us freaks, would be very hard to do. And a general core book that needs supplements to work is one of your cardinal gaming sins correct?
Also you forgot Black Crusade.
@Scott – Meanie. What has Nottingham’s finest export ever done to you?
@Prince – You’re close, but remember that a roleplaying product of any sort with too many fucking rules in it is another of the Major Sins. Pretending to be Space Marines or whatever doesn’t need as much bloat and flab as Fantasy Flight like to include. Also, GW managed it every time they brought out a new version of the 40K wargame until… some time shortly after the turn of the millennium. Whenever fourth edition came out.
You are all a bunch of Lutheran marxist pagans. You probably believe in the Global Warming Lie and restrict your family to under 7 children.
Jesus will not save you. Amen.
Spalding, we’ve talked about this. Don’t talk that way about my kids and my reproductive decisions. I only had the one but I love him at least as much as you love all of yours put together.
As far as global warming and overpopulation goes, the heat from the diapers alone has added 1.12 degrees F (0.62 C for all my Canadian friends) since 1970. Read the Club of Rome reports.
Another fine message from
GOD
I’ll cop to everything but Lutheran, yeronner.
Hello good, bad and gay buddies !
It is me. Kent !
So, I know nothing about these Ennies awards but could not help notice that HORROR ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS was the best adventure. Did anyone read it ? Is it any good ? Free pdf ?
~stevenchain
Good, downloading.
Who would dare say the ennies were worthless when I, Kent, might possibly get one decent free pdf out of the affair ?
You trust the seething mass of anonymous clickers to know what you like and make recommendations accordingly? Rather you than me.
As usual you miss the point. You talk too much.
therpgsite–thread–Why do so many people seem to dislike AD&D now?
http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=32862&page=12
==
Justin Alexander:
==
“Because it’s a shitty game. 2nd Edition is significantly better than 1st Edition, but it’s still a clunky mess of broken mechanics that virtually no one ever plays without substantially house ruling the hell out of it.
Collectively, AD&D is the worst RPG published under the D&D trademark.
(And, yes, I am including 4th Edition in that assessment.)”
Whereas 0e is incoherently written at best, 3e is a mess of ‘balancing’ efforts to ‘fix’ ‘broken’ rules wrapped around a couple of decent ideas, 4e abandons Tolkienian claptrap and is therefore an Unperson and fifth is…?
Fifth is the edition that the Great Dualist Patron Saints of the True Path of Role Playing, John Tarnowski and Zak Sabbatith, have handed down to the filthy ungrateful masses after wresting it from Mearls’s Burning Bush.
Amen.
Mitch Hedberg was a genius. You dummies don’t deserve to watch this.
Mitch Hedberg was the shiznit. Regarding misery tourism…it’s only miserable if there’s no dark humor. I ran a Dark Heresy (the Inquisition in Warhammer 40k universe) campaign for over a year and it was a blast because we were all sick fucks who could see some of the humor in it.
It would have been good to see everything that was submitted but didn’t make it to the nomination stage. Probably plenty of things better than rapeland.
Suck my cum, trolls.
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-reaping-of-tears.html
Well, that totally offsets Zaksttacks neo-nazi apologist attitude. Just glad to see he’s humbled by getting an ultimately pointless and ballot stuffed award and not being a narcissist like we all expected he would be… Wait a second….
Was waiting to see this posted. Was there no other fallout? Nothing else YDIS can state on the issue?
I hereby state: I still have no idea who runs the Ennies, or what that name refers to. Anybody can vote, you just visit the website or something? Okay, whoever gets the most votes wins. I guess… I don’t know, it is funny that Zak and Raggi made a bunch of whiners all mad and shit, so I guess let’s keep the Ennies going or whatever. Maybe hand some out to the other side next time, so the tables are turned and we can judge who’s more entertaining in defeat?
Talked to some friends who had just gotten back from Gen Con yesterday. I mentioned the ENnies walkout and all the rapeland bs. None of them had heard anything while at the con. I guess everyone else who was there for real business and/or fun couldn’t give a shit about the junior high drama.
That is hilarious! Zak is taking victory laps in and yelling “in your face!” to an empty auditorium.
A very important and timely article for this crowd.
http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/how-prevalence-bro-job-explodes-our-definition-what-it-means-be-gay?sc=s&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socialflow
Bro jobs? Reminds me of this funny shit.
It’s also like that time Kent lined up the entire men’s football team at his “uni”, sucked them all off in succession, then yelled at them, “Ha! You’re all a bunch of fags!” That time being every bleeping Saturday…
Ray Donovan is the best tv of 2015. The first four episodes of season 1 are woeful but it quickly picks up and grows to a consummate realistic portrayal of drunkenness by Ray season 2 episode 7, which is where Im at and I expect things to improve further.
Grognards.txt is linking this thread trying to figure out who walked out and (as usual) rather than just asking me, they ask each other and so they get random fucked-up information some dork made up.
So, who was there: Cam Banks. Adam Jury, Lyndsay Peters / GeekyLyndsay, Lastnora, prof_banks (jess banks) and, I think, Logan Bonner.you can check on Twitter.
I was not present, the award was accepted by Stacy Dellorfano of Contessa (who also won gold), nobody present near the stage noticed the people leaving, but people following Lyndsay on Twitter did.
Also: RPGpundit is an ass. Please do not associate me with his edition-warring, trolling bs.
Also: I am so gaddamned tired of Mandy’s “woe is me” bullshit.
Ruh roh, Zaktastic is putting lists together. Batten down the wenches and prepare to be bored.
We have always been at war with The Axis of Banks.
While you’re a completely different sort of ass. I’m not particularly enchanted with being associated with you either. I’m not crying. It’s just hot in here and I thought we were more than just consultants together, alone in a virtual room with Robin Laws, that Ross guy and all those other notorious swine from whom we saved D&D. I thought it meant more to you.
That Ross guy? Was Ross Douthat one of the consultants? Are there any “chunky Reese Witherspoon” references in the DMG?
I need something more than a few tweets by one of the faithful. Are there any videos of Cam and Crew walking out on the ENnies? Do you have GPS tracking on them to back up this claim? I’m going to hold you to your own standards, Zak. PROOF OR YOU’RE A LIAR!!!!
Any high school chick who gets a couple thousand Facebook followers has all the prestige and fans such as Zak.
Dribble down from regular life into a dreggy hobby of old drunks and Diabetics, with the odd younger, overly tattooed goth skank or fag tossed in for laughs, and you can be a little Jim Jones in that tiny pond. Zak’s victory laps are pure ironic giggles for anybody who doesn’t wanna be hiz fwiend and buy into his BS. Given false cred by the cunt who tapped him as a “consultant” (do we know, for sure, how much of the game is actually a by product of Zak Princess’ mighty game skill and knowledge? Did it matter on a whole? What are his claims?).
The answer is no. Even if it was significant in game terms. Zak will be a painter in 10 years. A fucking house painter, and I don’t mean on canvas (unless daddy keeps the funds rolling in as Zako eases into middle age). I’d say work at Target, but no such organization would hire a guy pushing 50 who rocks his “I’m weird, look at me for I am the mirror for society” style. Well, Walmart might. Have you seen the winners that work at Walmart? Only in tha hood do Walmart employees look anything like the clientele.
Anyway, I’m blue over no Blooey, so I’ll focus on shitty, twerpy little star-wanna be fags like Zakarino…
Zakspastic’s receding hairline combined with bald spot are going to make his Hitleresque hairstyle unmanageable pretty shortly. Not sure at this point if he’ll shave his head or come up with an equally ludicrous ‘do’ to try to cover up his rapidly aging scalp. Rap eland profits sure as fuck ain’t gonna cover Hairclub for Men costs.
SHIT ALERT
I know some people here like China Mieville for some reason. But he blows chunks and there is strong evidence (besdies his writing) for this that has just come to light.
He is writing a book with Zak Attack:
http://www.therpgsite.com/showpost.php?p=846808&postcount=61
Contracts signed, blah, blah, blah. Looks like Mieville is hitching his wagon to Zak’s ennies triumph. Maybe they can do a LA Skank Culture meets North Korea mashup. Or a shitty derivative art meets shitty hipster writing mash up.
Hahaha coming fall 2016: Asslickers of Pyongyang. compatible with Loftp and Pathfinder.
They can collaborate with Pundit on Pendejo Street Station.
Pretty impressive. China Mieville is one of the top ten thousand Fantasy writers alive today.
The book is an atlas of Crass-Fag.
Mieville must have had a pull-quote on RaPeL itself, or at least a review out there somewhere–Zakattack had it as his sig line in one of those stupid forums.
Something something reinventing the concepts of D&D something or other. Pure puff, unless Mieville’s standards have been chronically lowered by overexposure to Pathfinder, which I wouldn’t rule out.
Dragon did a profile on Mr. Mieville and Paizo even stole some of his ideas for their monster books. l really don’t know how they got connected by Zak S seems to have all kinds of way-more-famous-than-him connections. Either rich society parents, art gallery bullshit, or oh yeah, pr0n…
HAAW HAAAAAAWW !!
Zak is belittling all of you with his fame.
http://www.vice.com/read/a-love-letter-to-dungeons-and-dragons-017
And … no. Vice is not ice-cream news.
It takes HUMILITY and BRAINS to appreciate Zak and his D&D works and his sayings and like stuff. Don’t get left behind gnawing loudly on your knuckles, envious and smitten.
Join the 100% SUPPORT FOR ZAK S FROM THE OSR GANG !! YOU STUPID CUNTS !!
Sorry, jilted fanboi, Zak still won’t go out with you, no matter how you fawn. You’ll have to find some other mohawked dweeb to nuzzle your moobs.
Can we get some more hate for Ken Whitman? That twatwaffle cost me $50 from his kickstarter shenanigans and he deserves a public flogging.
Sergeant Tenkar’s on the case.
I read his blog post and the followups. The lack of vitrol is why there needs to be a jihad against this asshat. I have yet to see the word lawsuit pop up on any of his threads. I wish there was a Class Action against this douchecanoe.
There are rumblings, d00d didn’t even incorporate, so any lawsuits will hit him directly. I don’t think this scroteloaf is going to weasel out of this.
Given the money coming in, what he’s stated was his income for the year, and the suggestion that he never incorporated, i think the way to go is for people to flag him to the IRS. Good enough for Capone, as they say.
At this point, I’m rooting for the scammers on Kickstarter. We know what Kickstarter is, people should know better by now. It’s like watching videos of people eat ghost peppers: “That thing’s really hot, you sure you want to eat it? Alright, go for it bro…”
It’s not knowing what Kickstarter is, it’s knowing what gamer scum are. #notallgamers
The one campaign I backed was a successful one started by people I had known for years, to fund an already established series of events.
I’ve backed nearly a dozen KS’ with 3/4 being RPG related. Only 2 I’ve had completely screw me out of stuff and the rest went without a hitch.
Now Senor Ken Whitsack has fucked people over for the better part of a decade and , unbeknownst to me, continued his leaching practices even though he should never be allowed anywhere near a production shop ever again.
I’m waiting for SGT Tenkar’s brigade to tell me there is a lawsuit waiting to happen especially over the Knights of the Dinner Table Sham. Once that is happening then I’ll eager knock back a few Long Island’s and enjoy the blood bath without pants on. After all, pants are over-rated.
I thought Mandy was all fucked up and on life support and stuff. Does Zak still just use years-old photos, or has there been a miraculous recovery?
What a tiny table to crowd around. Good lord I’m thankful I don’t have to live in a tiny shitbox in Hollywood. I’m going to bet Zako only has a couple of players normally, but when he sez “taking photo’s tonight” all the porky chicks get dolled up and come rolling in.
Well, I was going to refrain from commenting that Zpastic lives like a dirty assed nineteen year old that can’t pick up his own underwear but fuck it. The dude is obviously way too busy tilting at internet windmills to clean up after himself. Too bad after an amphetamine fueled writing session he doesn’t have any energy left to tackle that sink full of crusty fucking dishes.
That actually looks like an art studio. AN ART STUDIO OK? HE DOES ART! HE IS AN ARTIST. A FAMOUS ARTIST THAT KNOWS IMPORTANT PEOPLE OK?
These threads have been up for, like, 24 hours and no one here’s commenting. WTF, YDIS, get your act together..
http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=32921 started it.
http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=32925 continues the stupid.
Damn, that Pundejo sure likes his logorrhea. TL, DR, every single time.
Hahaha 4 posts into the first thread and Zak is already calling people evil and insane and no one takes him seriously. Nice. And an impromptu Trial is called on the internet.
This is gold.
Yeah, missed all that. I had fun this weekend. Thanks for posting it.
This Tarnowski quote is gold:
“there isn’t an elite politburo that gets to decide what the fawning masses will consider ‘correct’ OSR”
He has done everything in his power to make sure this is indeed the case, with himself as Der Kommisar. Is he too fucking stupid to understand his own words and motivations, or just a relentless liar with no shame? He and Zak are exactly the same narcissistic trolls.
Well, Zpastic claims he does dishes but we know that’s a lie. He’d probably claim to change his undies every day but we know he wears them for as many days as he can to avoid doing laundry.
And, no, going ‘commando’ and wearing the same pants for a week is the same thing only your skid marks are on your jeans instead of your boxers. Either way he should grow the fuck up on his personal hygiene and quit acting like a filthy squatter gutter punk.
ā¦.. BOOORRRING ..ā¦
#KentIsGay
Zak Smith strikes me as a younger version of theRPGPUNDIT.
He has hair concern, to become moustache concern. He smokes his own cock, to become puffing on a convoluted oldman pipe. He exploits his pulpit-blog, to eventually retire to a forum where he reviews his own material. He has the insane self-regard of the vaudevillian Jew, but will grow old without dignity pining after exhausted stardumb.
Two sides of the same coin? Two asscheeks of the same incontinent baboon?
Having said that, I have been asked by YDIS to compare Zak Smith to you lot. I would say that you lot are a bunch of irrelevant Pratts, Gossip Girls. No one reads your comments. Zak Smith is a man who Gets Things Done.
And by “Get Things Done”, we mean “harasses people out of the RPG Hobby/Industry because Zak S is an internet harassing piece of shit.”
And, yeah, it’s years like these when I wish I’d fucking stuck with SPI’s Swords & Sorcery. You’ll never find Zpastic playing S&S cause his feeble brain can’t comprehend it. Cause you DO have to count the fucking hexes in that game. At least S&S players, rare as they be these days, don’t have their heads up their asses like Zakattack and his comrade in self rectal research the Pundejo.
I know, it’s unfair to Zpastic to mention Swords & Sorcery because his broke ass can’t afford a used copy off EBay.
May he could go the JMaul route and try to EBeg a copy of some permavurgin that jerks off to his blog.
S&S was pretty good. Lost my copy to a friend’s sticky fingers a few decades ago. All the copies I have seen on Ebay have been $100 or more for water-damaged copies. Am I not looking often enough?
Yeah, it’s got the fantasy tax added on. It’s just rare enough to demand inflated prices and Costikyan is content to sit on the IP so no reprints in the foreseeable future. Wish Greg would let that one out, I know there’s not shit for money in hex n’ counter games but this one needs a new edition.
Is it worth the $100-$225 it usually goes for? Well, only if you can find 5-6 players that will do the X the Unknown and Rise of the Darklord scenarios.
S&S suffers from basement dweller collectible syndrome. Fuckers buy the game and put it on their shelf so they can smack their lips about having a copy. That shit’s meant to be played, brother! I’d gladly shove a pluglunk up their collective horde mentality asses where they’re scooping up multiple copies but are so insufferable as human beings no one will play with them. EVER.
At least AH’s Starship Troopers is so common you can grab a copy for less than the cost of a back alley handjob by an out of work, down on their luck, alt-porn model.
The worst gamer cretins of all are the ones who gobble up fair or poor quality products in order to destroy them to boost their collection’s value.
Those types make “Comic Book Guy” look like Cary Grant in comparison.
If I knew someone like that… I’d kill them. Honestly kill them with my bare hands (I mean if a bohemian ear spoon wasn’t within reach), burn down their house, and salt the earth.
Then I’d donate their games to a games library on the off chance some new blood might play an old game.
I’m with you Fisty, fuck those guys.
ā¦. BOOORRRING .ā¦
#KentIsStillGay
Magic Realm is where it’s at. A game without a DM can produce a better adventure than 10 OSR zombies.
It’s sad because it’s true. Also keeping in mind first edition had some serious flaws but was still a superior product to anything these OSR turd burglars ever produced. Magic Realm is another that’s hard to find under $100 so it’s another game Zakattack won’t know about.
#rpgshitZakcantafford
Since we’re on the topic of old second-and-third tier games, are there ant TFT players out there? Now, that was a fun game to play, especially when one ditched the Tolkienian paradigm. A lot of the guys I played with emulated the sword-and-board stereotypical man-at-arms, not twigging on to the possibilities allowed by, say, chemistry skill plus thrown weapons skill, plus wicked damage stats for Molotov cocktails.
Now that I think of it, I was playing a Myth: The Fallen Lords “dorf” long before that game was released.
TFT was awesome. Captured the Swords and Sorcery feel better than D&D did. The Jobs table was a bit dissatisfying, never used it, but Talents were cool. The tactical aspect was not complex, and combat was more immersive than D&D’s.
Did the jobs table carry over into GURPS? I don’t remember using it.
I think the S&S vibe was primarily a function of the slow power progression. Even after months of advancement, your character was still almost as fragile as a n00b. There was no plowing through armies of mooks in that game. Luckily, chargen was a breeze.
I played GURPS Autoduel for a while in the mid-80’s, but damned if I remember. I don’t think so. That was a strange relic.
The jobs table was a subtle warning to would-be game designers: don’t quit your day job.
… BOOORRRING …
#KentIsSoGayHeIsAnEmbarrassmentToGays
My spidey sense tells me that some people on ydis with razor sharp gender identification & sexual orientation skills are suggesting publicly that I am a HOMOSEXUAL MAN of the MALE GENDER.
This is TRUE. I am GAY and PROUD. I love BUTTOCKS. Try and STOP ME. I will RAPE your MALE BUTT CHEEKS.
==
Let us the relatioship among the D&D ELITE-GODS.
10 HOMO KENT & GABOR LUX (MELAN) — AWESOME
09 GYGAX & JAQUAYS & BLEDSAW & STAFFORD
.
.
.
.
04 PEANUT BUTTER SMEARING FUCKFACE CUNTS & SEXUAL SADISTS
03 THE DUMBEST FUCKS ON DRAGONSFOOT
02 ZAK S & HIS HAIR & HIS FUTURE SELF theRPGPUNDIT
01 EARTHWORMS & MUSHROOMS & EVIL MICROBES FROM PLUTO
Wow, Pluto always gets a bad rap. That is lazy, kent.
TFT, that’s The Fantasy Trip for Kent who is too drunk and lazy to google it, was totally overshadowed by D&D and T&T. I think there was one guy locally that espoused its virtues but alas he was shouted down and forced to play a cleric or some shit in a mediocre campaign called ‘Cumming in the Dragon’s Eye’ because it was impossible to die on that campaign. Such term used jokingly that a character could fire off a load of semen at a dragon and the DM would find a way to make it a lethal hit and wound.
I was talking about TFT wasn’t I? Fuck, I just know no one would fucking play it cause they were a bunch of mindless jerks that were the first against the wall when the revolution came.
Now was that so hard?
Read this:
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/thats-not-funny/399335/
College kids don’t ‘get it’ news at 11. Back in ‘the day’ before I was burning filthy fucking wannabe hippy degenerate college fucks were taking great delight in raiding war games night at college and flipping over the boards of The Terrible Swift Sword that had taken 18 hours to get to day two. Get your sheepskin then enjoy fucking their girlfriends with a sheepskin condom because you got a useful degree while they drug there useless art degree out for ten years. They pretend they had fun but a bleak future of stocking automotive at Wal-Mart for twenty years will beat that right out of them.
Fuck college liberal conservative fucks and fuck the conservative liberal ones too.
Are you drinking with Kent? WATCH OUT FOR YOUR HINEY!!!!
I’d love to see Carlos Mencia on the liberal (not liberal arts) college circuit.
Yes, we were true liberals back in college in my day, but not like these SJW can’t take a joke or a fuck liberals in college today. We organized back then and managed to do real things like prevent that asshole Bork from being appointed to the Supreme Court by that cunt Ronald Reagan. Then we’d get drunk and high and hook up with hot chicks for one night stands and not call the next day before the SJWs came in and one night stands somehow magically became date rape just because you didn’t call the bitch back. So drag your mattresses around campus and argue about the meaning of meaningless words and fight for the right to gender identify as a pencil sharpener. We real grownup liberals will still be fighting for equal pay and getting food in the stomachs of starving children.
I’m more for getting starving children into my stomach… #carcossa
Just go full Poag and fuck that baby while you are eating it.
#OSRart=FuckingTerrible
Do I ever miss the simpler (compared to bullshit today) of the topless succubus compared to the juvenile fucks thinking they are producing edgy gaming material.
Carcossa rituals, Raggi poop golems, Poag and his rapey bullshit…
The supposed Oh Ess Arrrr is getting more in common with the glorious FATAL every day.
You’re preaching to the choir, brother.
Shit Golems = INNOVATION IN GAMING!
Interesting. After last week’s Republican debates and over a decade of FOX News, you’d have to be living deep in a cave with your head buried in the sand to not realize the Republican party has become fractionated (Right Wing Christians, Traditional Conservatives, NeoCons, Tea Party Nut Jobs), but is the same thing happening now to the Democratic party? Aging Baby Boomer Hippies vs. SJW Hipsters? And where do the unions fit in now?
The rift in the Democratic Party is between the corporatist/DNC middle-of-the-road wing, backers of Hilary Clinton (no leftist, no matter what your crazy uncle says- hell, Bill Clinton was the best Republican president since Eisenhower) and the leftist wing, represented by unabashed socialist Bernie Sanders. To the right of Clinton, there’s Jim Webb and former Republican Lincoln Chafee, but they are just speedbumps in Hilary’s path.
Sanders is getting a lot of grassroots support, but the Clinton money machine will probably bury him when the primaries heat up. He will have an effect on the general election, bringing the topics of income inequality and student debt into focus.
On the GOP side, I suspect that Trump will get bored and drop out of the race, but he’ll do a lot of damage to the GOP “brand” before his ADD kicks in.
Great and terrible Spectre, I can only answer your question with a counter-question: “Unions? What’s that?” From a social POV the left echo chamber all boomers and bruised millennials now trying to hash out what’s best for hypothetical ethnics and poors.
Haha an article slamming political correctness on college campuses, but their headline art carefully kowtows to the same movement with the white dude as the only offended schmuck among a sea of laughing, tolerant, spiritually perfect Benetton faces.
He’s not white he’s one of Geoffy’s red Carcosans.
He’s a typical SJW who are mostly white hetero Liberal conservative males. SJWs are still just “Be quiet a white man is talking!”
I guess consisting mostly of white males makes it really easy for SJW’s to turn on eachother and “check eachothers privelege”, a conventient characteristic to facilitate the inevitable infighting that takes place among such rejects of evolution, civilisation and sanity. Ah las, no one will pity the White Knight, equally loathed by all.
Another good article
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/greg-lukianoffs-story/399359/
You picked the inferior article.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/
Its interesting to see that despite the claims of a few useful idiots/apologists, the SJW mindset is vibrant, alive, and causes actual societal disruption and harm. The perspective of SJWs as mentally ill is a sound, and more importantly, well-argued one.
I read this yesterday. No snark: it’s a great read.
Meh, it’s the same old “the kids these days” bullshit that’s been pushed since the first punk australopithecine kid decided to stand upright. Today’s college students are facing outrageous tuition costs and crushing debt that older generations never dreamed of in their worst nightmares, with poor prospects of digging themselves out in this sub-par job market.
If you want a vision of the future, picture a y00t standing on your bloomin’ lawn forever.
Look on the bright side. At least when you are burning in the fires of total economic collapse and hideous state violence you wont be racist!
Yep, that’s the one.
@BACLF: no, it’s not just that. “Kids these days” are actually changing policies and terrorizing professors and students who say things they don’t like or cause them the least amount of discomfort, and they’re being abetted by idiotic humanities faculty. It’s a pretty fucking horrible situation, being able to ruin lives over whatever the fuck a “microagression” is.
Today’s kids are also incredibly sensitive to sexual aggression, yet my old dorms have now gone 100% co-ed, so the freshmen live right next door to opposite-sex students and have to share bathrooms with them.
Not sure i would have thrived under such conditions.
“Todayās kids are also incredibly sensitive to sexual aggression, yet my old dorms have now gone 100% co-ed, so the freshmen live right next door to opposite-sex students and have to share bathrooms with them.”
Wait, that’s not the way it always works?
@Von-Before my time but in my friend’s religious school, the dorms were single-sex and opposite-gender visitors could not go up to your room. In my time/school, the dorms were mixed but segregated by floor/hallway, with single-sex bathrooms. Now, hallways are mixed, with alternating doors for male/female/(something else soon if not here already).
If i was constantly being told how dangerous fraternization was, how everything was rape unless explicitly and consented to in sobriety, isn’t that living in constant threat of rape/rape accusation? Seems like a mixed message to me. “Boys are super dangerous in this rape culture, kids! Now go share a shower with a couple of them!”
@bad wolf
The religious school thing surprises me not one whit. I think every hall of residence I’ve ever lived in has had a women-only floor or building or something, but the vast majority of accommodation has been unisex.
It does seem like a mixed message. I don’t like to tell women what they should and shouldn’t be afraid of, but I also wonder about how we’re ever supposed to reach the ‘affirmed consent’ stage any more. If saying hello to a pretty girl in the caff and trying to start a conversation is a microaggression (OMG SHE’S NOT HERE FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT etc.), how on Earth are relationships supposed to work? I suppose you’re supposed to wait for women to initiate negotiations, as it were, but doesn’t that just mean more sad shy boys who don’t know how to talk to girls and end up writing LotFP modules?
Yeah it seems even worse than when i was in school, and things weren’t great then. Shy boys like myself may have needed a drink or two to relax, so i guess we were also being raped? I think most sensible people (even teenagers) could presumably tell the difference between a girl who had a drink or two at a party and one passed out on her dormbed but legally those may not be indistinct.
The other side of it was when i recently took a campus tour of an Ivy League school and the guide proudly showed us the constant spy cameras on the street that would send hordes of security in case there was any trouble, then a few minutes later showed us the coed dorms. Because if your daughter is going to get raped on this campus, 10 to 1 it’s the guy down the hall from her, not the stranger in the bushes. But good luck with that.
Sorry to interupt the bulk +1ing of Cato the Elder’s newest assessments, but there is some serious cyber-head being given to the Attack:
http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=32925&page=10
It starts up before this, but here is where Bren starts lapping timidly at a flacid shaft, next page is where he goes all little-plasitc-bird-grudge-beaking-the-water at his crotch, so great is the Attack’s unconcious adherence to the Socratic Method. Then Zak starts with accusing someone of writing critical, mansplaining mail to his girls…heh. Starting to heat up.
I miss fucking with guys like that Bren dude. He got a chubby using ‘Socrates’ in a sentence and it won’t go away. His posts have since acquired the incantatory tone of revelation.
“If it sucked you would say they didn’t listen to you, if it succeeds you say they listened to you, either way it’s win for you, get that, right?
Now you had to ask yourself, why out of all of the vocal critics of WotC why they choose you? It wasn’t like they couldn’t have gotten ‘consultants’ who were way, way more qualified, but they didn’t they chose you. You nothing but advertisement for them. That bit of controversy leading up to the game being released. You got people talking.”
Sommerjon delivers a rocket-launcer shot to Tarnowski’s face. Interested in seeing how this will play out.
http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=32925&page=10
“rocket-launcer shot to Tarnowskiās face”
Kinky.
“from my perspective if it looks like Socratic dialog, sounds like Socratic dialog, and is used like Socratic dialog, then it is Socratic dialog. For some reason pointing that out upsets Zak. I’ve no idea why.”
1. The Attack’s whole thing is that QUESTIONS require ANSWERS or you are a LIAR. Little different from the Socrates thing, right Bill and Ted?
2. It’s fucking embarrassing.
Did someone try to question the questions again? Fatal mistake. He’ll decide you’re mad and a blight on the hobby.
Hahaha its the thread that keeps on giving.
Speaketh Zak S:
“This construction (Ent and Apparition) has an inaccurate premise:
The premise is that the thing at fault is the question. In fact: the thing at fault is the person generally really did do something wrong and no matter how open the question, if it’s genuinely targeted to finding out the truth, it exposes that the person has done something bad. So the person asked doesn’t want to answer because they realize it exposes that and so evades. It is only “gotcha” in the sense that asking the actual murderer where they actually were on the night in question is “gotcha”. ”
Followed by example of anti-semitism, because we are classy like that.
An impressive feat of legerdermain, but the contention is not that asking questions is bad, but that questioning Zakina’s assumptions when he asks those questions leads to him calling you a Liar or an evil troll. He did put out the IF YOU CANS FIND EXAMPLE ON THE ENTIRE INTERNETS POST IT HERE, not that giving even the most rigid and indesputable sort of evidence would result in anything but more nitpicking. Shite children, you are welcome to all of YDIS for your witch-hunt resources. Examples aplenty!
And the stupid continues! Zakina brands Bren a troll and evil and therefore he is exempt from answering questions, based on his own solipsistic reasoning! Oh Caloo Calay!
As far as I could tell from the meandering conversation Bren was halfway supporting him. Jesus what a dick! And that supercilious photo just says punch me. I actually liked RaPL it’s a pretty well written and unique little work with a lot interesting ideas that Zak seems to have thought up with gaming applications in mind instead of just descriptive fluff. I even like the art but again what a dick! I feel bad for Mandy – can you imagine the word salad when she asks if he can pick up his underwear or maybe wash a few dishes?
Can we appreciate the work even though the creator is such a dick? These are the QUESTIONS that CONCERN the DIY GAMING COMMUNITY.
P.S. Nonperson Vincent Baker rolls with LIARS and needs to APOLOGIZE or we have to shun him forever. Also I wish John Tarnowski would stop trying to ride my jock because guilt by association swings both ways but I don’t, yo.
WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME
In which our Consultants’ reputations are pierced to the source like pus-filled buboes: http://www.therpgsite.com/showpost.php?p=848750&postcount=154
Big fucking deal on the “we hate Vincent Baker” bullshit. Is RPGPundick upset that the so-called swine continuously outsell his shitty wikipedia-entry-on-the-war-of-the-roses-cut-and-paste? Looking at Drivethru, Dark Abalone is in maybe 83rd place while Apocalypse Engine titles are in the top 20?
Trying to bring this thread back to the original post with this:
https://www.gofundme.com/vqbnpbbt
Helping someone who actually did something in gaming and who isn’t a shit tard like Oakes Spalding.
Not having a blog or running a Kickstarter has indeed made Ward one of the last … 2?… creators from the Golden Age i still have respect/fondness for.
I’m helping him by voting for candidates who support the expansion of Medicaid.
Thanks, Obama!!!
Forty aches and some drool.
Diabetic needs sugar daddy…
OK, guys, Tarnowski just gave me an orgasm.
“So fuck that and fuck you, you sad little shit. I know it must be really hard to see me win again and again at every thing I do, but frankly, I couldn’t give a fuck anymore about whatever issues you have with me. I don’t need to anymore, because I won. D&D has become what I said it should become. The OSR has become what I said it should become. And nothing you say is going to change any of that. They’re mine now. You’re all living in Pundit’s world, and it’s working, and it’s beautiful.”
That is right – John Tarnowski has made the trains run on time. We all owe him rent for living in the world he predicted and successfully created by force of tobacco-flecked willpower.
Yours is…superior. *uhhhhh*
I liked the accompanying tirade against JMal even better- I suspect there’s more than a little envy at play here. I bet JMal made a lot more money moving his vaporware than Pundejo has made with his cut-and-paste jobs. Also, even though he hasn’t blogged in years, it’s virtually impossible to escape his blog whenever you google RPG or even fantasy fiction topics. Jon-the-plagiariast’s influence is a lot smaller than Jimmy-the-Scam’s, despite his his protests to the contrary.
There’s only room for one half-Polish reactionary weirdo in the upper echelons of the hobby, and it ain’t Pundejo.
“Jon-the-plagiariastās influence is a lot smaller than Jimmy-the-Scamās, despite his his protests to the contrary.”
Damn, I bet this is where he gets that “it must burn you up inside to know I won” stuff. This vein must run deep…
Can’t spell envy without EN, and let’s not even mention his insane inferiority complex wrt RPG.net.
Patrick Stuart & (eh … not really) Scrap Princess video interview. P.S. seems pretty smart. They have an underworld book coming out soon wrapped in the lotfp tinsel.
Well, that’s 5 minutes I’m never getting back.
Get out of bed 5 minutes earlier ? 14 hours sleep is more than enough for anyone.
I’m sure it’s a lovely interview but the Tom The Frog conceit disinclines me to listen to it.
All I remember about Scrap Metal Princess was that her narcissistic tendencies came to the forefront during a Dungeon World game because she needs a rigid initiative count to shut her up for two seconds. Someone forgot the latter part of ‘make a cool character, do cool things, don’t hog the spotlight’.
So, yeah, I’ll save myself the pain of watching the video. It’s surely as fucking annoying as those Beasts of War mouth breathers.
Yeah I showed up for Scrap and there was no Scrap in the interview š¦
Beasts of War hate is always welcome on my watch. Dodging those buggers at Salute was a welcome relief from the pressure of all those trade stalls.
I am inclined to forgive the overenthusiastic player; better someone who needs shutting up than someone who sleeps between combat rounds.
I wonder what the dynamic would be if Scrap Princess and Ken St Andre played in the same game… which of them would be the more insufferable table hog?
God damn, Scrap Princess has produced the shittiest “art” in the entire blOwSR.
No, you don’t understand! It’s punk! It’s the punk art aesthetic! Which means taking elementary school doodling to new heights…
Did Kent watch that because he thought it was going to be a meat puppet show?
Middenmurk made a post:
http://middenmurk.blogspot.ie/2015/08/some-quasimortals.html
More importantly, bloodymage has NOT made a post is almost three months!
Where is Blooey is he okay???? Dragonsfart doesn’t seem to eager to do a bed check. Even though they have his cell number they haven’t used it to call him!
I think you’re going to have to make that call, old chum. You know it’s your destiny.
Maybe he dined but wasn’t quick enough on the dash?
At least he’d be getting three hots and cot in county.
Sigh! š¦
Maybe he dined but wasnāt quick enough on the dash?
At least heād be getting three hots and a cot in county.
Sigh! š¦
#bloolivesmatter
“The way I figure it, when anyone conceives an artwork of any description they start with an idea that manifests as a series of emotional impressions. For me it is like a dumb, pre-verbal looming-out-of-chaos of mingled glory and sadness and bitter irony and deadpan hilarity and the process of trying to capture it is always always crude. The enunciation of the idea changes the idea. For me, writing seems like amateur carpentry, whatever unspeakably wonderful thing glimmers at the edge of consciousness, its representation is splintery and rickety and has too many nails.”
Spot on.
Yeah, at least he is trying to be interesting and doesn’t write like an infant (though it is a tad ripe). Patrick Stuart of False Machine is trying to be interesting too but the smoke he likes Zak to blow up his ass is clouding his brain, infecting his neurosis with vanity.
Awwww… somebody’s envious, Zak could have blown that smoke up Kent’s cavernous rectum for his Jacquays cut-and-paste, but no, he prefers Patrick’s original work.
It’s best expressed by a neologism, a portmanteau word- kenvy.
And, no, Zak and Patrick are not going to “spit-roast” you, Durr Hurr.
Bigby, are you determined for your immaturity to persist for the rest of your life ?
I’m not sure that attains the lofty height of Spot On, but it certainly does rise to Pretty Cool. Is that a Patrick Stuart quote from the Frog interview? I couldn’t watch it. That staement could either be Pretentious Hipster or Borderline Visionary…I suppose his writing will have to be the judge.
@Timotheus – it might have struck a particular chord with me, since I have of late been thinking about impressions and fantasy and other ways to write and build worlds. The idea that the enunciation of the idea changes the idea is integral to how I do my thinking and writing. This might be one of those relative value depending on perspective things.
@Kent – it’s no riper than your depictions of the Sane (which, in fairness, I enjoyed). I also have the nasty suspicion that I might actually quite like Pat-n-Scrap’s book of monster dreams without rules, despite having lamented the price of what’s essentially a coffee table book (for which the creators see fuck all return, too). Scrap’s art doesn’t set my world on fire but it just might manage to evoke some sort of reaction.
I hear you Von, and I concur. I just think he is hamming up the description of the process.
What is everyone’s favourite three Fantasy films ? This could be useful if you want it to be.
For me it is:
Bakshi’s – Lord of the Rings
The Wizard of Oz
L’ange – Patrick Bokanowski
When I think of all genre (sci-fi/horror) movies close to the same level I would add:
2001
Blade Runner
A Clockwork Orange
Stalker (1979 Tarkovsky)
Alien
The Shining
Salem’s Lot
The Exorcist
The Trial (1962 Welles)
Oh yeah — Requiem for a Dream — shiver
We’re talking about the Salem’s Lot with David Soul, correct?
Yes. I have long been immune to hollywood horror effects (or horror as an emotion) so horror is an aesthetic for me and I think Hooper’s is one of the most beautiful. The house is the same house as the 1974 TCM.
Im not sure that Bergman’s The Seventh Seal technically fits but I think it does.
D’oh! Yeah, the Seventh Seal is great.
Interesting, kent. I don’t believe in top 3 bullshit, but here is mine.
Excalibur
Wizards
Krull
Conan the Barbarian (I am an REH purist, but it is still a solid flick)
Time Bandits
Sword and the Sorcerer
Dragonslayer
Tough to decide whether PJ’s Lord of the Rings belongs. I’m a purist there, too, kinda, but I don’t think you could do better from a least common denominator standpoint; so yeah, that trilogy is in the top 3 as well.
Excalibur and Wizards are superb too.
Who do you most identify with from The Wizard of Oz ?
i guess that most of you here at YDIS visualise yourselves as the wicked winged blue monkey lads forever causing mischief as long as you can get to lick on a crinkly wizened green pussy.
Me, I think I am the cowardly lion wishing to be the scarecrow. The scarecrow for me eclipses gandalf as the prime interferer in metaphysical quests.
Heh, Friend of Dorothy, indeed.
If we’re talking about Oz, is there room in your heart for Return to Oz?
I don’t think “hay guise i like blade runner and alien wut bout u????” is in any way meaningful, so let’s at least restrict this to guilty (i.e shameful) pleasures or shit at least half of us haven’t heard of. I’m a big fan of Legend, non-ironically (shameful). Can’t think of anything that’s relatively unknown to this crowd.
Are pedo snuff films in or out?
Now, Rectum, you’re supposed to be the sensible one. Did Kent stuff you with synthetic cannabinoid suppositories?
Sorry, forgot to add: Asking for a friend.
A friend attached to me.
The bits of Franklyn that qualify as ‘fantasy’ (sheer aesthetics).
Pirates of the Caribbean.
Bakshi’s Hobbit, if only for Brother Theodore. I might watch Bakshi’s LotR again today, it’s been a while.
I haven’t seen that many classics of the genre to be honest. Cinema isn’t a medium that particularly interests me, and it’s easier for me to think of good books ill-served by their adaptations than good original films.
That sounded a bit too pompous even by my standards. Read as: I’m not that into films. I’ll go along if I’m dragged but I prefer radio dramas for fantasy/science fiction. The pictures really are better.
Also I think I mean Rankin-Bass Hobbit. I’m a cretin.
–I prefer radio dramas for fantasy/science fiction
Any recommendations ? If you mean modern bbc productions I think they are kinda lame.
The Rankin-Bass Hobbit also features the inimitable Paul Frees as Bombur, Thurl Ravenscroft lends his singing talents, and the visuals are modeled on Arthur Rackham’s oeuvre. Despite the narrative compression enforced by the network TV special (bye-bye Beorn), it’s a nifty little production. Peter Jackson can go soak his head.
@Kent – Original dramas I’ll have to think about if you’re ruling out the modern BBC, though I will stand by the Martin Shaw audiobook of The Hobbit as a superlative adaptation.
I have Shaw (The Professionals !) reading the Silmarillion, he is very good.
The BBC did some great stuff up until the mid eighties. Have you ever seen the Quatermass TV stuff that came before the 1967 movie, very good.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Quatermass_Experiment
The movie:
==
Also should mention Children of Men (superb use of King Crimson)
I should give that Silmarillion a listen then. Points for liking The Professionals too, although I shouldn’t be surprised.
Quatermass I am familiar with of old, although it’s been several years since I last witnessed any of it.
Children of Men I am not and I will look into this At Once.
Quartermass and the Pit was awesome. There was a much earlier BBC version of it, from like 1950 or so, that is about 8 hours long and features the other characters that were dropped for the 1967 movie. I have not seen the earlier version, but I have heard it is superior, and genuinely scarier.
Top Three? Sure, why not.
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (Gilliam, 1988) (I’d also make a strong case for Time Bandits and Brazil)
The City of Lost Children (Jeunet, 1995)
Beauty and the Beast (Cocteau, 1945)
Related things worth watching: Wizard of Oz, Spirited Away, Brotherhood of the Wolf.
–Beauty and the Beast
Haven’t seen that in decades. I forgot about it.
I’m of the opinion that “Top #” lists are silly, because one’s opinion of a film can change from moment to moment. That being said, Wiene’s “Cabinet of Dr Caligari” and Murnau’s “Nosferatu” have long been particular favorites of mine.
Have you covered these in either your blog or your classes, Jack? I was surprised to read that Lovecraft hadn’t seen “Caligari” until after writing “The Call of Cthulhu”, if he’d seen it at all… talk about geometry being “not quite right”.
I enjoy Time Bandits (especially) and his other work to a degree, but I find Gilliam’s inability to commit to fantasy kind of… Boring at this point.
Anyway,
King Kong (1932)
The Golden Voyage of Sinbad
City of Lost Children
Oh, Jack called that one nicely: I’d forgotten about Spirited Away. On that note, I really wanted to like Tales from Earthsea, but it was rushing to cover too much ground, and served none of it very well.
Good call on Blackbird Raum, I’m now listening to them quite a bit — they’re hit or miss, but the hits are satisfying. Did you see the vid where the accordion guy holds up a copy of Dungeon Crawl Classics?
@BACLF: perhaps, but I feel that at any given point in life one will have a handful of favourites of which one’s opinion alters at a slower pace. There is also the all-important Venn diagram of “what I like” and “what is good”: I contest that there are objectively well-made films which can be recognisd as such regardless of whether or not they are one’s own favourites.
@Bigby, yeah my Top #3 was just off the cuff; I don’t put much stock in making ordered lists or ranking stuff in general. I haven’t written about any of those or used them in my classes…yet. Who knows?
@Aos, have you seen Gilliam’s The Brothers Grimm? It’s proof that he’s worse when he commits fully to fantasy.
@YDIS, yeah Blackbird Raum albums have some filler, but the great moments make up for them. I somehow missed that video but I could feel it in my bones that they were no strangers to funny-sided dice.
I’m going to go with Song of the South, Birth of a Nation, and The Littlest Rebel.
Speaking of Song of the South, I found a great way to reskin a magical negro for D&D 3.5 or Pathfinder: Start with Jar Jar Binks stats from d20 Star Wars and add the shaman prestige class.
Can anyone make sense of the gigantic Osric project that kellri is pushing?
It seems maniacally pointless to me.
Hawk the Slayer??? Cawk the Splayer for Kent? Rather than using the Elfen Mindstone Sword to float around and randomly attack Jack Palance, Cawk uses it to telekinetically fist himself over and over.
A couple of years ago, I came to the conclusion that Peter Jackson’s LotR movies were really a big budget remake of “Hawk the Slayer” that no studio would have greenlit if he’d presented the project as such. This makes them more tolerable than shitty LotR adaptations.
Isn’t OSRIC maniacally pointless now that the AD&D rulebooks are back in print?
Does anyone own any of the Arkham House hardback editions of Lovecraft ?
Yeah. They’re OK on a fetish object scale but not exactly impressive fucking “tomes.” Just reasonably well-made hardcovers of their era.
Speaking of which, if you made me pick three mass fantasy classics it’d be Excalibur, Mononoke and Conan edging out Time Bandits, the Dark Crystal, a hipster’s dozen obscure titles and even Legend, which I love to the exact extent to which I fucking hate Labyrinth. But it’s not sublime like them other ones. Tim Curry still stinks of camp in that one, dragging it down even though Mia Sera brings the heat.
Fuck, I offend our hostess by hearting teh Blade Runner L00LZ. Okay,
Let the court record show the witness also has a big soft one for Freak the Mighty (starring Agent Scully as a drunk, the fat kid from Daredevil and one of the lesser Caulkins), Kull the Conqueror (drunk off my ass in a double bill with Spice World), the Barbarian Queen and even Ladyhawke has its moments.
And KNIGHTRIDERS is the best movie of all time.
–Yeah. Theyāre OK on a fetish object scale but not exactly impressive fucking ātomes.ā Just reasonably well-made hardcovers of their era.
Which edition do you have ? There is the 1963 edition with the black dustjacket and the post 1984 editions with the colourful dustjacket. The paperback copies I have are shitty and hardbacks are few and far between. These arkhams are pricey second hand $50+ but I imagine they are well made.
We have Dagon, Mountains, Miscellanea, Revisions, a couple of the Letters. Most of them are middle printings . . . orange Mountains for example. Like I said, OK but really only impressive to Lovecraft nuts of the era who were “chuffed” to see their lantern-jawed heterosexual life model finally in HARDCOVER like a real fucking literary star. I’d rather rip up a shitty paperback of him and buy another, to be honest.
The Clark Ashton Smiths are worth it because jacket art of his weird pebble guys.
The dust jacket I was referring to was for the Dunwich Horror volume which I will probably get first. Lovecraft is the last of the genre writers for me to get in hardback, I don’t read paperbacks anymore. He has written roughly eight great stories including Mts of Mad.
You have CAS in arkham editions? I bought the Nightshade editions – frankly only the last two volumes are good.
ydis, do you have a pronouncement on OSRIC for us ?
I liked the first one, not sure what the second one is for. Is it Unearthed Arcana or something? Didn’t they get the memo — 5E is here, Zak and Pundit saved D&D!
What is the difference between the K&KA OSRIC-for-AD&D and odd74 OD&D thingy that made you foam at the mouth ?
Not sure what you’re talking about. Maybe I was menstruating?
When you are shitting on D&D clones what makes you treat osric special like ?
I think it’s a very creative and original work. It’ like nothing else, ever. Wholly unique and new.
Check family, friends and most of all any OSR skunks whose email address you have:
http://www.trustify.info/check
If Grindr is compromised, you can check Brandoch Durr Hurr and Mjollnir. Meanwhile, from the Department of Schadenfreude Department:
Strike two for a moral scold…
Interesting Lovecraft article,
http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/08/hp-lovecraft-125/401471/
Hi Kunt (aka Paul Dingle Berry)!