Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition Player’s Handbook Errata (Official)
Wow guys, long vacation but I’m back now and ready to dig into some D&D 5E, which is a really thrilling and exciting version of everyone’s favorite roleplaying game! The list of errata for the Player’s Handbook has just been released, I’m here to save you time with a concise review of the changes made. Here we go and hope you are enjoying the AWESOME D&D 5E experience!
Dwarven Combat Training (p. 20). Dwarves are proficient with the light hammer, not the throwing hammer.
Drow Magic (p. 24). Here “once per day” means you must finish a long rest to cast the spell again with the trait.
Infernal Legacy (p. 43). Here “once per day” means you must finish a long rest to cast the spell again with the trait.
Half-Orc Heritage (p. 47). From now on, Half-Orcs will no longer be referred to as, “basically Black people for the Forgotten Realms, with all positive social characteristics replaced by a ticking rage-bomb timer.” Just, you know, use your imagination with that part.
Holocaust Denial (p. 48). This is now an official Elven racial prerequisite.
Juggalos (p. 49). Juggalo characters must begin play declared For the Dark Carnival.
Character Creation (p. 50). All players who wish to play a Bard character must smoke e-cigs. It’s a rule now.
Song of Convincing Minors to Partake (p. 52). Requires save vs. observe or 1d6 x 1000 g.p. bribe per each adult in range to avoid law enforcement response.
Song of Rest (p. 54). A creature regains the extra hit points only if it spends one or more Hit Dice at the end of the short rest.
Song of the South (p. 61). Additional effect: Protection from Half Orcs 100′ Radius.
Feinting Attack (p. 74). The advantage is lost if not used on the turn you gain it.
Feinting Interesting Character Concept (p. 79). This attribute is not supported by D&D 5E.
Deflect Missiles (p. 78). The range of the monk’s ranged attack is 20/60 feet.
Eternal Mountain Defense (p. 81). A monk must be 17th level, not 11th, to learn this discipline.
Race Other than Entitled White Man with Zero Authenticity to Source Material (p. 81). This attribute is not supported by D&D 5E.
Water Whip (p. 81). This discipline requires an action, not a bonus action. Also, why not just use a normal whip?!?
Divine Smite (p. 85). You can expend any spell slot, not just a paladin spell slot.
Divine Smite of Anal Rape (p. 85). Can only be used following successful Sneak Attack or Attack from rear, or at Boys-Only Sleepover Church Camp.
Polyhedral Annihilation (p. 89). Platonic solids are no longer supported for Paladins in D&D 5E. Rolling a d4 will cause system reboot, rolling a d20 will cause total protonic reversal.
Ranger’s Companion (p. 93). If you are incapacitated or absent, your beast companion acts on its own, focusing on protecting you and itself. It never requires your command to use its reaction, such as when making an opportunity attack.
Bestial Fury (p. 93). When you command the beast to take the Attack action, the beast can attack twice or take the Multiattack action if it has that action.
Bestiality (p. 93). This is an at-will power usable only with Ranger’s Companion, or at a furry convention with informed consent and safe word(s).
Sausage Fest (p. 94). The Ranger class is open to characters of both genders, however female characters who wish to be a Ranger must have a penis.
Flexible Casting (p. 101). The created spell slots vanish at the end of a long rest.
Twinned Spell (p. 102). This just sounds fucking stupid so we’re getting rid of it. Thanks for another dumb idea, Zak.
Elemental Affinity (p. 102). The damage bonus applies to one damage roll of a spell, not multiple rolls.
Venger Satanis Picture (p. 102) God he would get such a boner if we did that here LOL!
Wild Magic Surge (p. 103). If a Wild Magic effect is a spell, it’s too wild to be affected by Metamagic. If it normally requires concentration, it doesn’t require concentration in this case; the spell lasts for its full duration.
WHY??? (p. 104). What is the point again of this class? So we can be more like World of Warcraft?
Oath of Transphobia (p. 105). Jesus fuck, how did this even make it through focus groups? Okay Tumblr, we hear you, it’s gone…
Quick Build (p. 106). Ray of Sickness should be Charm Person.
Quick Build (p. 106). Charm Person should be Aura of Date Rape Prowess.
Pact of the Chain (p. 107). When you let your familiar attack, it does so with its reaction.
Pact of the Tome (p. 108). Any cantrip you cast with this feature is considered a warlock cantrip for you.
Eldritch Invocations (p. 110). A level prerequisite in an invocation refers to warlock level, not character level.
Book of Ancient Secrets (p. 110). The rituals needn’t be from the same spell list.
There Can Be Only Gandalf (p. 113). If you are using miniatures, D&D 5E only supports using the little Grenadier Gandalf guy from 1980 as your figure. Future supplements will allow use of the bald Illusionist chick.
Your Spellbook (p. 114). The spells copied into a spellbook must be of a spell level the wizard can prepare.
Spellbook (p. 114). A spellbook doesn’t contain cantrips.
Empowered Evocation (p. 117). The damage bonus applies to one damage roll of a spell, not multiple rolls.
Overchannel (p. 118). The feature doesn’t benefit cantrips.
Ammunition (p. 146). Loading a one-handed weapon requires a free hand.
Bag of Morons (p. 146). Can fit no more than four (4) human-sized morons haha!
Belt Pouches (p. 146). Placing a Large Belt Pouch into a Small Belt Pouch creates a tear in the fabric of the universe that expands to instantly destroy the campaign world.
Jennell Jaquays (p. 147). Is not a dude anymore, you believe that shit?!?!?
Lovely, Lovely Estrogen (p. 147). (Inside joke!)
Pickle (p. 147). Also available in sweet.
Reach (p. 147). This property also determines your reach for opportunity attacks with a reach weapon.
Reach-Around (p. 147). Yes, please.
Special Sauces (p. 147). Ranch, Buffalo Ranch, BBQ, Honey Mustard, Sweet Teriyaki, and Asiago Parmesan.
Two-Handed (p. 147). This property is relevant only when you attack with the weapon, not when you simply hold it.
Weapons (p. 149). Unarmed strike doesn’t belong on the Weapons table.
Class Features (p. 164). You gain the starting equipment of your first class only.
From Now On (p. 165). You know what, multiclassing has always attracted the stupidest fucking players with the gayest-ass bullshit characters and nobody really wants these fucking dipshits around anymore, so we’re canceling multiclassing. Don’t even ask about it anymore.
From Now On II (p. 167). Speaking of horseshit for dipshits – adios, feats! Use your goddamn brain to navigate the world of the game not your fucking character sheet, retards.
Using Ability Scores
Hiding (p. 177). The DM decides when circumstances are appropriate for hiding. Also, the question isn’t whether a creature can see you when you’re hiding. The question is whether it can see you clearly.
Lighting Bag of Poop on Fire, Then Fleeing to Nearby Cover to Enjoy Prank (p. 180). Requires checks (in sequence) vs. DEX and WIS. Fail of either check requires check vs. STR or CHA, fail indicates character killed.
Peeking Through a Glory Hole (p. 184). Requires check vs. DEX to avoid getting poked/sprayed in the eye. Beholder characters do not suffer Blind status effect until 6+ eyes have suffered disability.
Suffocating (p. 183). If you run out of breath, you can’t regain hit points or be stabilized until you can breathe again.
Vision and Light (p. 183). A heavily obscured area doesn’t blind you, but you are effectively blinded when you try to see something obscured by it.
Long Rest (p. 186). You regain at least 1 Hit Die when you finish a long rest.
Greyhawk (p. 189). How Forgotten Realms was chosen over Greyhawk, I mean whose dick did Greenwood suck to make that happen?!? And it’s not like Greyhawk is so hot, in retrospect it’s a dopey Mary Sue convention created by a bunch of circlejerkers with wet dreams about living in medieval times, but good lord Forgotten Realms is just… fuck, it’s lame.
Ready (p. 193). You have until the start of your next turn to use a readied action.
Melee Attacks (p. 195). The rule on unarmed strikes should read as follows: “Instead of using a weapon to make a melee weapon attack, you can use an unarmed strike: a punch, kick, head-butt, or similar forceful blow (none of which count as weapons). On a hit, an unarmed strike deals bludgeoning damage equal to 1 + your Strength modifier. You are proficient with your unarmed strikes.”
Second Try (p. 195). Wow. We needed a mulligan to get the definition of an unarmed strike correct? Holy shit, did Mearls put Rob Conley in charge of writing the original???
Wimmin (p. 198). Female characters suffer a -10/-50% penalty to all combat related rolls, because vagina+tampons.
Paladin Spells (p. 209). The spell is Destructive Wave, not Destructive Smite.
Wizard Spells (p. 211). Trap the Soul shouldn’t appear on the spell list.
Mexican Spells (p. 214). Whoops, this was a little joke that was only supposed to be shared with the testing team. Pls ignore, thx.
White Power Spells (p. 215). The spell is Kill Jew, not Cure Jew.
Bigby’s Lubed Fist (p. 224). Shout out, homie!
Mass Cure Wounds (p. 258). This spell’s school is evocation, not conjuration.
Mass Heal (p. 258). This spell’s school is evocation, not conjuration.
Mass Hitler (p. 258). Number of Hitlers created is 1d6 per caster level. For every 6 Hitlers created, 50% chance 1d3 Goerings appear.
Phantasmal Killer (p. 265). The frightened target makes a save at the end of its turns, not the start.
Phantasmal Tao of Alexis (p. 266). The frightened target makes a save at the end of its turns, not the start.
Polymorph (p. 266). This spell can’t affect a target that has 0 hit points.
Purify Shit and Piss (p. 267). All non-magical shit and piss within a 5-foot-radius sphere centered on a point of your choice within range is purified and rendered free of poison and disease and can now be eaten.
Raggi (p. 270). I forgot all about him and now I got nothing. Someone fill this in…!
Revivify (p. 272). This spell’s school is necromancy, not conjuration.
Silence $48,000 Radius (p. 278). That’s another shout out, bruh!
True Polymorph (p. 283). This spell can’t affect a target that has 0 hit points.
Weird (p. 288). The frightened target makes a save at the end of its turns, not the start.
Creature Statistics If in doubt, the Monster Manual version of a creature’s stat block is authoritative. Also, we’re gonna use a picture of Raggi to illustrate the Type IV Demon… that’s the big fatass one with hooves, right?
Acknowledgments We’re going to stick with Zak because he can still prove useful from a marketing standpoint, despite the fact we completely ignored all his actual stupid input on the game. But we’re cutting Pundit loose, and moving forward we’ll just pretend he never happened. (Don’t worry Pundit, you can keep the $250.)