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Attention Dwimmermount backers (victims): this is how you do a credit card chargeback

March 13, 2013

Here’s a helpful info page from Visa:

http://usa.visa.com/merchants/operations/chargebacks_dispute_resolution/chargeback_cycle.html#

This process holds true for Mastercard as well. All you need to do is call your credit card company and demand the charges be reversed. You know what makes your case a slam dunk? When the credit card company sees a bunch of people calling to have the same charge reversed. Done deal, homies.

Who’s going to end up paying for this? Beats me, I’m not a fucking expert. Ask Huge Ruined Lawyer, maybe he knows. My guess: the credit card company takes the money back from Kickstarter; Kickstarter’s all like “WTF?!?!?” and goes to Autarch for the money; Autarch’s like “Duuuuuh, we don’t have the money…” and then Kickstarter’s like “Better get me my money bitch or imma cut you” and then Tavis gotta run a hooride on Jamal to stack that paper. I think he helped pick the pope, maybe look for him at the arrivals terminal at Toronto Pearson Intl. Airport.

Wooo-hoo-hoo — can you feel the tension? I can feel it all the way down in my plums!!!

 

267 Comments leave one →
  1. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    March 13, 2013 6:42 pm

    Better yet, every single Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon Kickstarter backer should contact the FBI and the IRS and let them know Tavis handed over $50K to a foreign national. Maybe even Homeland Security.

    • jdj permalink
      March 14, 2013 3:00 pm

      That’s not a crime, unless it was in sacks covered with rat shiit.

  2. Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
    March 13, 2013 7:13 pm

    My bitch better have my money
    Through rain, sleet, or snow
    My whore better have my money
    Not half, not some, but all my cash
    ‘Cause if she don’t,/I’m gonna put my foot in her ass. ..

  3. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    March 13, 2013 7:25 pm

    As if JaMal didn’t have enough on his mind. He probably is huffing Pam just to function in front of the family. Hell, he’s probably so upset over the new pope that he’s about ready to go and drink cough syrup. Some friends you are being to him!
    FUCK!

    • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
      March 13, 2013 9:35 pm

      I heard that the new pope isn’t even white! Better put him on suicide watch.

      • Zarathustra permalink
        March 13, 2013 9:55 pm

        He’s from Argentina, but still white.

      • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
        March 13, 2013 9:57 pm

        Whew! Close one. Now, let’s get down to brass tacks: are we sure the new pope isn’t a bastard?

      • Flyware permalink
        March 14, 2013 4:55 am

        I heard his father has physically and mentally deteriorated to the point where he no longer recognises his own son and is in constant, imminent danger of death! Ha ha ha! Funny, no?

      • March 14, 2013 4:46 pm

        That is some funny shit Flyware. I have a joke for you. Two guys are walking down the street and one walks into a bar while the other one ducked.

      • Francie permalink
        March 15, 2013 6:25 am

        Flyware, could we run a collection to raise some funds in case he needs to take a break from working while he deals with the general shitty things in life that happen to fucking everyone? Oh hang on, that’s basically been done. How much compassionate leave and bonus pay do you think your average office drone gets from doing their crappy job to deal with an ill parent?

  4. unclecarbucle permalink
    March 13, 2013 10:07 pm

    THIS BLOG SMELL LIKE MI FARTS

  5. Your Father Is Disappointed permalink
    March 14, 2013 4:56 am

    I hope other people are seeking refunds. I’m gonna try to get one now/

  6. Grifty McGrifterson permalink
    March 14, 2013 5:03 am

    According to some public family blogs, seems James has been mourning and cradling his fragile mind by playing wii Mario kart with the family and generally goofing off. I feel for him.
    As Tavis said in his comments to some scurrilous curr who said he was out of sympathy…let he who has not sinned cast the first stone.
    Let’s stop this witch hunt and leave him to his recuperation.

    • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
      March 14, 2013 5:05 am

      (Sarcasm intended and implied)

    • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
      March 14, 2013 5:08 am

      My apologies, the sin comment was made by Mr. Tenkar, not Tavis. Can’t keep all these goofs straight…

    • jdj permalink
      March 14, 2013 3:18 pm

      He had the ability to say” I can’t fucking do this, my dad croaking has bent my mind, here’s what’s. Lfet of the money. “…ha haaa

  7. Tinpot permalink
    March 14, 2013 5:22 am

    Seriously, dudes. If you want to get a refund, do so. You’re entitled to. But whatever you do stop fucking crying about it. “A BLOO BLOO BLOO, I GAMBLED MONEY ON KICKSTARTER AND LOST.” We get it already. Shut the fuck up.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 14, 2013 11:48 am

      I think we are all past the ‘BLOO BLOO’ stage and have moved on too the “FUCK THAT GUY WITH A CHAINSAW’ stage.

      • Aos permalink
        March 14, 2013 5:02 pm

        Someone or other has been telling the backers and thier advocates to shut up since the very beginning of this cluster fuck. They “all” use shame as a tactic too. Now it’s just changed from “shame on you for not giving him the benefit of the doubt,” to “shame on you for crying.”
        Well played?

      • Tinpot permalink
        March 15, 2013 11:37 am

        I’m sorry, am I shaming you? My apologies. I would never want to make you feel like your opinions are not worthy of the utmost respect and attention. Please forgive me.

        I know how you feel, you see. We’re in the same boat, you and I. I also got robbed a few months back. I lost sixty quid and I had to cancel my cards. If only I’d had a support group like you do, I too could have assuaged my impotent anger by sitting around bitching and thinking up oh-so-clever insults like “Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon”.

        Get your money back, and get the fuck over it.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 15, 2013 8:58 pm

        Aw shucks, you sure showed me up. I’m ashamed to admit I NEVER backed JaMal’s fuckwit dungeon then I would have a cause to bitch about. I’m here to shit out my guts on whatever comes up. Get a clue son.
        FUCK!

      • Aos permalink
        March 19, 2013 10:46 am

        Wrong number, I didn’t back it either. I found your speach very touching, though, thank you.

      • Tinpot permalink
        March 21, 2013 10:02 am

        The fact that you think that’s in your favour says more than I ever could.

      • Aos permalink
        March 21, 2013 12:30 pm

        So you got nothing? Shocking.

    • Doubleplus not unannoying. permalink
      March 15, 2013 2:47 pm

      You’re shaming nobody fuckwit. Why you so bothered?

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 16, 2013 5:23 am

      I would like to take this opportunity to point out that some of us (raises hand) were smart enough not to Kickstart Dimmerdouce Suckdungeon in the first place because we knew anything JaMal wrote would suck ball sacks thank you very much.

      Can’t we all just enjoy the sweet, sweet aroma of JaMal’s failure stench in peace?

  8. GenghisDon permalink
    March 14, 2013 5:32 am

    Kickstarter is building up a bad name fast, & for more than OSR scams. It might not stay around too long, which is too bad, it could have been used for good, if the douche bags were not swarming it like flies on the game founder’s carcasses.

    The new pope is white, & a Jesuit, and seems to be focused on outreach to the sick & poor, but yeah, he’s a bastard, ’cause he’s old school on contraception, abortion & the gays. So despite his “focus” on the poor, he’s out to keep humanity poor, needy & sick. Nice.

    Follow up on the LAPD/Dorner/2 old asian ladies clusterfuck, although I know this isn’t the place for such, it’s worth hearing:

    • Timothy permalink
      March 14, 2013 10:11 am

      News flash: the LAPD is corrupt amd inept!

      That doesn’t mean their families deserve death, dumbfuck, nor that every police officer (even in the LAPD) is a “pig”.

      You made your bed, GengisDorner, now you have to beat off in it. At this point you should just shut your trap, because you look dumber with every post.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 14, 2013 11:42 am

        Hey GonorrheaDong try not to hurt yourself stumbling around posting your bullshit ‘k?

  9. March 14, 2013 8:00 am

    By the way, I’m actually completely fine with the fact that JaMal stiffed Robert Conley. I would have too, considering the “work” Conley did consisted solely of putting an Autarch Games logo on the map from Outdoor Survival. It’s inconceivable to me how that would even fly legally, but glad to see the pope take that one into his own hands.

    • Timothy permalink
      March 14, 2013 9:15 am

      Well, JMal might not have conciously stiffed Conley. Given Robbie’s difficulty in communicating in English, he may have left out half the relevant words, or the meaning of his communication may have been nuetered by his contempt of syntax. JMal may legitimately have thought he was getting Conley’s work for free.

      After all, who the fuck would actually pay for it?

  10. Mongbat permalink
    March 14, 2013 9:25 am

    Jack Shear’s Devilmount vanity press Devilmount is a stitch. Looks like his ego bloated over the Autarch spotlight and boom he went from satire to vying to be the next OSR attention whore.

    • Mongbat permalink
      March 14, 2013 9:26 am

      Correction anti-OSR, anti-Pope attention whore.

      • Rogerthecabinboy permalink
        March 14, 2013 9:50 am

        At least, Shear’s version has boobs! And it has quite an impressive looking demon cock as well. It wins.

      • March 14, 2013 10:29 am

        Yeah, whatever color the smoke it, pass it over from Avignon or wherever!

      • Aos permalink
        March 14, 2013 5:04 pm

        I drew that demon cock, btw.

      • March 14, 2013 6:53 pm

        For what it’s worth, I’m rooting for you to knock Poag off the demon cock-drawing pedestal.

    • Jack permalink
      March 14, 2013 10:11 am

      Nah, if I really wanted to attention whore I would have run it as a Kickstarter.

      Honestly, I made it because this is how I want to run the dumb dungeon I paid money for and never got. Other people seem interested in it, so they can have if they want.

    • Timothy permalink
      March 14, 2013 10:18 am

      Damn, Devilmount looks awesome. Did Jack really publish up a bunch to sell? I may just have to scrape together 2000 copper pieces and some lint/dust.

      • Mongbat permalink
        March 14, 2013 11:20 am

        Alternately you could just shift the cash from your right pocket to your left pocket, Jac…err…Timothy.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 14, 2013 11:46 am

        Eat a bowl of shit Mungbutt! You got some nerve playing pocket pool while JaMal is having a breakdown here. I’m trying to enjoy this moment and you gotta start shit with people.
        FUCK!

      • Timothy permalink
        March 14, 2013 12:13 pm

        I thought we went over this, Dongbat, but it does seem your comprehension is minimal. So no worries.

        Hopefully you are getting the attention you crave by posting here, though. be sure to tell your “girlfriend” that you got noticed on the internets.

  11. March 14, 2013 9:55 am

    I hope this is the breaking point for some of these hobbyist publishers. You have to treat this as a business, and once you take money, you are a business.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 14, 2013 12:00 pm

      I think Petty Gods was a sign that we were dealing with a first rate jackass.

      • jdj permalink
        March 14, 2013 2:32 pm

        Yup.

      • March 14, 2013 4:43 pm

        No it was Jim the Scam and his anti-Pixar stance that showed we were dealing with a Grade A Rat Bastard. It is only after he TTMR (TM) did we learn he was a Grade A Dishonest Rat Bastard.

  12. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 14, 2013 11:32 am

    I cannot believe Tavis would have to drop everything to fucking go to Canada and confront Jimmy. It has really gone that far? I have to sympathy for Tavis anymore. He should start telling it like it is. Maybe that would get Jamal to come out from behind the couch and confront this shit.

    And for the record, for the unblown who pop in here to make comments like we are making fun of a dead dad, show us where we did that. We all get to lose our dad sooner or later. Too bad some of us actually love/loved our dad. I have a good friend (let’s call him “Mr. Spocks Semen Stain”) who watched his dad fade away for years and not recognize his own reflection in the mirror. My friend was the one who found his dad when he finally died, had to make the calls, and sat alone with the cold corpse for two hours waiting for the mortuary guys. He spent a couple days with his family, then was back at work on day three. See, you fucking man-children of the blOwSR, REAL men do the right thing for family AND business partners. And to do his thing Jamal didn’t even have to go into the office and work with a bunch of assholes. He just had to sit and roll a d100 on whatever charts were handy to finish his suck dungeon. Now look at what this Tavis dumbfuck has to go through.

    Apparently the only winner here is Jamals kids (though they have to have a pathetic creep as a dad) and the Nintendo corporation.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 14, 2013 11:57 am

      From what I understand, didn’t JaMal put his Old Man in a home some time ago anyway and forget him? I mean how often did he visit him and help take care of him? If how he is acting right now is any sign I bet he probably didn’t and is pretty fucked up over it. Still,I think he could have moved on with his obligations instead of jerking off all day.

      • jimmy Jones permalink
        March 14, 2013 1:15 pm

        Jamal has literately lost his mind or just saw an excuse to steal everyone’s money and drop all communication. Since work stopped for the book months before this incident It should be assumed he does not give a shit for his dad and just wanted to keep a cool 50k without lifting a finger. The guy takes pride in not growing up so why would he act any differently now.

    • Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
      March 15, 2013 12:34 am

      Hooray for Tavis, finally drank that potion of Heroism. This is sooner then expected. I figured at least one more update before he grew some huevos …
      If it were me, with $50k & my company’s rep on the line, I would have been making the trip to Canada back in January, but I suppose I can defer to T-dog’s sense of due diligence.
      CKDB, I’d consider having to make the trip atonement for making a shitty boneheaded-fucktarded business deal.

  13. March 14, 2013 1:08 pm

    James Mal is teh gay.

  14. March 14, 2013 2:16 pm

    Jimmy here with an update from Cancun. Its nice and hot and sunny and me and the wife are going to get drunk and fuck tonight.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      March 14, 2013 2:57 pm

      …stricty for the purpose of procreation, right?

  15. Timothy permalink
    March 14, 2013 2:18 pm

    Hey, there is a new thread on Rpgspite about this. Our ol’ pal Pissedwell has shown up to defend JMal’s honour.

    What a swell guy!

    • March 14, 2013 4:44 pm

      I’d chime in but I’ve been banned from RPGPundit’s playground.

    • March 14, 2013 5:09 pm

      Am I drunk or did the rpgshite “crash” right when things started getting good?

      Currently drinking: extreme ginger ale %*)

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 16, 2013 5:15 am

      And if most people were throwing their unconditional support behind JaMal right now, Mistwell would be the one special snowflake criticizing him and taking him to task for failing to deliver on Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon. I’ve noticed over the years that’s kind of his modus operandi on the online RPG message board circuit. Mistwell is textbook Asperger’s Syndrome. Plus his wife looks like a razorback hog.

      • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
        March 16, 2013 8:30 am

        Mistwell truly is an infuriating asshat. I just now went through that thread and damned if he isn’t white knighting his little genitals off. On top of that they’re taking jabs at our IRWS to boot. Glad to a see a few new OSR folks coming to their senses and realizing (finally) that they have been had.

  16. jdj permalink
    March 14, 2013 2:31 pm

    Chargeback is the way to go. No one was ever likely to see dwimmermount anyway. The first dwimmermount project was a no show. The book of gods was a no show. I really have no idea why anyone bought into that kickstarter.

    • March 14, 2013 4:44 pm

      They were promised naked women.

      • jdj permalink
        March 14, 2013 6:08 pm

        Naked women….along with 20 sided dice and many page hardcover gamebooks…clearly someone was fucking with them.

  17. Kilgore Trout permalink
    March 14, 2013 3:14 pm

    Gamers back the publishers they deserve…

    • jdj permalink
      March 14, 2013 6:14 pm

      Wouldn’t someone have to publish something to be a publisher?

      • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
        March 14, 2013 7:33 pm

        Ha!

  18. Skarka the Hutt permalink
    March 14, 2013 4:47 pm

    Maybe its too soon to change the subject, but it looks like Blooeymage had the shortest fucking trip to GaryCon ever.

    http://www.garycon.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1097

    • March 14, 2013 5:01 pm

      Either he is the dullest tool in the shed, or the most unluckiest bastard in the world.

      • Skarka the Hutt permalink
        March 14, 2013 5:50 pm

        Probably a combination of both. I feel bad for the poor guy most of the time.

    • March 14, 2013 6:51 pm

      Huge Ruined Commenter is right, he’s trolling us now. Someone needs to call him and ask what happened.

  19. Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
    March 14, 2013 5:39 pm

    Can anyone give my boy Bloodymage a ride from MKE to Gary Con? Thanks!

    http://www.garycon.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1097

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 15, 2013 8:36 pm

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
      “We’re bailing. Going home.”
      Bloodymage probably should have asked for $1,000 for the chance to drive him and his Down’s Syndrome girlfriend to GaryCon and maybe he would have had better luck.

  20. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 14, 2013 6:41 pm

    Anybody else checking the phone #? Just off the bat, I find two interesting items. The sex offender one blows my mind. Any doubt it is the same Steve Willett? Folks, maybe time to stop feeling sorry for Oh Captain, my Captain…

    http://cvbugle.com/m/Articles.aspx?ArticleID=34577

    http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/sex-offender-door-steven-willett-desert-city-california/story?id=10478627

    Sad clown music follows. Mr. Suck, you might just be making a new blog post sooner than you thought…

  21. Freeloader permalink
    March 14, 2013 9:56 pm

    It’s definitely not the same guy:

    http://www.boston-baden.com/hazel/Pix/p.cgi?4043-02

    • March 14, 2013 11:11 pm

      Jesus fuck. Is he wearing a studded leather jock?

      • March 15, 2013 12:20 pm

        Ydis asked, ‘Is he wearing a studded leather jock?’
        No, I believe that is a ‘utilikilt.’ Ironic, isn’t it?

    • March 14, 2013 11:19 pm

      That gallery was like AM-PM: too much good stuff.

    • knunclefluffershuffle permalink
      March 15, 2013 5:56 am

      In addition, 928 is an Arizona area code. BM has claimed he lives in arizona.

      Personally, I think he lives on whatever park bench he can find. Probably while getting pounded in the keister by DM Wil, while lord polaroid watches and beats off to twinkie fantasies.

  22. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 15, 2013 11:05 am

    Hey, believe me, if that diddler guy is not my hero then it’s a big relief. I’d much rather see pics of him running a con game for two disinterested nerds than hear about him raping his way across Mainstreet USA.

    Still, so many tantilizing missing pieces from the Bloodymage Saga, and his recent adventures. It seems he and the future Mrs. Blooey were at odds, that’s clear. But what was the hotel deal and plea for help? Did he fly in, go to a motel miles away from the con, and hope somebody would see his forum post and pick him up? He did this “ask for help from invisible people” thing before.

    And, he goes to all this expense and trouble just for the chance to run a game for two sleepy gametards and kill them? He brags about being the killer DM in the photo. In his DF sig he brags about “death to all PC’s!” And he wonders why nobody wants to play with him or help keep the lights on?

    Oh Captain, my Captain, I’m overthinking it I guess. Just continue having adventures and dropping tempting tidbits about your wild life. It helps me make it through the week. Happy ST. Paddy’s, Blooey!

    Drinking: green beer that might be “Mr. Spock’s Semen Stain’s” piss.

  23. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 15, 2013 11:07 am

    I just realized I managed to avoid a dedade of reality TV, just to become obsessed with the lives of Jimmy Geekface and Bloodymage.

    Fuck!

    • jdj permalink
      March 15, 2013 1:29 pm

      I can see the t.v. ad now “basement dwellers rejoice, theses folks make you look upscale and fuckable”

      • Shitty McTits permalink
        March 15, 2013 4:56 pm

        Here I am at GaryCon. Where are the fucking unicycles?

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 15, 2013 9:00 pm

        I have to admit I’d watch it.

  24. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    March 16, 2013 2:03 am

    I hope everything turned out alright for this guy at GaryCon:

    http://www.garycon.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1103

    I haven’t been able to sleep thinking about this, for want of closure. Did his GaryCon bros help him out? Would a spork suffice?

    • jdj permalink
      March 16, 2013 3:43 am

      Wow, really? Who gives a fork? (Waka waka)

    • Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
      March 16, 2013 3:52 am

      I think Bloodymage was supposed to bring the sporks, but the fuckers left him and his bitch stranded at a Motel 6 in Dahmerville.

  25. Donkeyfucker permalink
    March 16, 2013 2:08 pm

    Back to Jimmy the Scam: Over at Kickstarter more and more backers realize they have been ripped of. One guy even called Jimmy a Scam Artist.
    God, I am grateful I got may funds back last yera before Scammy keft the scene.

  26. March 16, 2013 6:43 pm

    Totally off topic here, but is anyone up for some Asslexis bashing? I am! Lookie here:

    http://tao-of-dnd.blogspot.com/

    I’m tickled pink 😀

    • March 16, 2013 7:24 pm

      I’m reading your book. You win points for ambition — as Kent with his fine experience with testicles pointed out, it does take a ball or two for an OSR type to self-publish an extended work of fiction — but I have to say, you set the target higher than you can see and a good editor would have helped you scale back to a place where you’re more comfortable.

      Sad to say, Pete’s Garage is wildly uneven. I have wanted to hurl the screen numerous times. Sometimes it’s just an idiot error in your imaginary geography of the tri-state region: as someone who once knew exactly what exit he lived on, I can assure you Bayonne doesn’t work like that. Sometimes it’s an odd glitch in your musical vocabulary: nobody has ever “tapped out” Glenn Gould because Glenn didn’t compose anything for people to tap out, and he didn’t tap dem ivories.

      Most of the hurlable moments have been me waking up and realizing we’re another 40 pages in and there’s no real plot, only a succession of more or less amiable incidents strung together. What you’ve given us is a long fictional memoir, a kind of Mary Sue narrative, a shaggy dog story, a sitcom series pitch. That’s fine. That kind of whipped butter presentation has its place, but from your blog I really thought you were aiming higher.

      And then there’s the tone, which is all over the chart. If you were content to turn in a frothy mass of incident and insidery “behind the music” observations, it would be great. The observations are well observed and when they’re not making me reach for my Glenn Gould elephant tranks they ring true. There’s a place for that. If you wanted to go in a Peter Beagle urban fantasy direction, that would be fine too. The problem is that the join comes off like amateur taxidermy, less thrilling than sad.

      And George R. R. Martin made that join it really, really well thirty fucking years ago with the Armageddon Rag. That was a scary, sincere, haunted book. Emma Bull turned in a valiant effort in 1987 with War of the Oaks. The Folk of the Fucking Air. I’m leaving Xanafuckingdu out of this.

      The point is that if you had been content to give us one or the other, it would have been a better book, and if not, you might have written something else. Crossing into ren faire territory begs the question of what you thought you were gaining by treading these deeply cut tracks. I don’t know and don’t really care so don’t tell me. I don’t think you’re being deliberately derivative here, but that only means you could be better read in your chosen genre(s) and that’s another thing an editor could have told you in advance.

      You tell a good yarn. There’s a market for that. You have brainpower to burn in the 10-watt OSR ghetto. Now if you want to give the world a book that justifies the day I spent instead of studying motherfucking Aristotle, flex that fucking brainpower. String your incidents together to build narrative energy instead of “tapping along.” You are not fucking Anton Webern noodling around with a serialist tone row. You are supposedly picking out chords, and chords naturally want to progress. They “aim for a definite goal,” take our feelings out for a spin along the way, F G C.

      Modulate once in awhile but have a clearer harmonic structure in mind. Oh, that’s another thing. If you’re going to write about music, do not motherfucking dance around architecture, to quote Zappa. Show me. Make the music come alive on the page. Make me a musician. Otherwise, it’s just wanking around: relatively amiable, mostly harmless, but it’s keeping me from either fucking, reading Aristotle or rolling dice.

      • March 16, 2013 7:30 pm

        TLDFR: Ego bigger than execution keeps technically proficient material from transcending OSR feel-good fluff. I feel like I was trapped on a bus all day with some stranger telling me what he thinks are his “dreams” but are really just old Partridge Family episodes. Does he know? Is he even aware? I tried faking sleep but he just kept fucking punching me.

      • March 16, 2013 7:36 pm

        Currently drinking: a new cocktail I just made up called “Bjork’s Flower Tears” (sloe gin, creme de violette, ginger ale, garnish with ambergris).

      • March 16, 2013 7:37 pm

        Oh hey PS this thing is licensed under the CreativeCommons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 UnportedLicense so if I was a bad man I could share the love.

      • ratsliveonnoevilstar permalink
        March 17, 2013 5:29 am

        Ha! And Kent to think kent believes he’s the most literary Suckdungeoneer. My hats off to you, SR, for a thorough and insightful review of Alexis’ efforts. Pointing out that it more or less belongs in the “Ren Faire cum real” subgenre is actually useful information, and gives some clue what one might expect. As insufferable as I find him and his endless pontificating (not necessarily a disqualifying personality trait for a good author, perhaps even an asset), listening to him reading from the book made me sit up and think to myself, “This could be a lot worse.” At lease he’s actually trying.

      • March 17, 2013 9:09 am

        Thx for the solidarity. What gets me is the waste of all those years counting hexes and noodling leprechaun hit points when he actually wanted to be a young Cameron Crowe or something. The mp3 blog world is vaster than ours and he could actually get himself a pretty good niche there, make something. He’s smart enough to maybe actually get out, if he can keep the leprechauns in his pants a little better. Or whip them out more shockingly like Patti Smith revealing she was always a dude, fuck I don’t care.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        March 18, 2013 8:01 pm

        Ouch.

      • March 18, 2013 8:14 pm

        Well done.

    • March 18, 2013 6:59 pm

      Oh PS, Lexie (my in-laws’ dog’s name, by the way), blames the spoof blog on a bad junior high gym class experience, no shittery! Apparently the mad spoofer is some kind of neanderthal football hero too dumb to do well at school or D&D and is now hopping jealous because football glory is over and the world belongs to smart fat kids now, or something, I blacked out a few times.

      “What happens when the whole world gets like that? What happens when you’re getting older and you can’t prove what a god you are anywhere? What happens when that shitty feeling you had in your classroom is the feeling you have at your job, every day, all day? What then?

      “And what happens when these fucking smart fuckers start fucking around with the game you really like to play? What if someone reads all this fucking smart stuff and starts rubbing in your face? What if they start talking about it, all the time, and what if they ask you what you think?”

      That’s when I reach for my fucking Holmes clone, Lexie. So I can feel safe and smug and smart and secure again and I’ll never have to put up with gym apes. A world where I am free. And at least third level to start.

  27. ratsliveonnoevilstar permalink
    March 17, 2013 5:30 am

    “…and to think kent…”

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 18, 2013 8:00 pm

      “…was never quite as popular as his talking poop chute Kent’s Rectum was around here.”

  28. Timothy permalink
    March 17, 2013 7:51 am

    You are a total stud, Schiz.

    I take it that was like the 20th drink you made in your mighty endeavour of wading through L’il Lexi’s odious prose.

    This Guiness is for you, amigo!

    • March 17, 2013 8:56 am

      Well it’s not like I fucking savored every one of the 218 pages. But since I lost the roll I ate the biscuit. Three li’l things to sum up: (a) there’s a market for this kind of thing just like there’s a market for “cat fantasy,” so don’t shut down the new blog yet (b) get a few fact checkers next time and pay attention when they bitch (c) dump the creative commons license. Dicks will find a way to pirate your PDF. Don’t give sensitive cat fanciers like me any incentive to help them.

      Count the motherfucking hexes!

      • March 17, 2013 9:14 am

        Good work Schiz. You’re a better man than I.

      • March 17, 2013 9:35 am

        Everyone would do the same. I’m just the one who forgot this was one of the ones where you want to roll high. But enough out of me, there’s a day of amateur hour drinking to avoid and our usual whales to hunt on Monday. When’s Raggi’s latest crowdfunded tentacle rape epic coming out?

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 17, 2013 2:57 pm

        Great job Schiz! As for Raggi’s tentacle rape epic, I would assume June 15 but leave it to Raggi too fuck that up somehow.

  29. Zarathustra permalink
    March 17, 2013 3:30 pm

    Hehe, the other bloggers are finally circling the body of Grognardia close enough to poke it with a stick. The title is the most controversial part of this blog post, as he manages to both announce the post-Grognardia era and kiss the popes ring at the same time. But it’s an interesting sign http://gorgonmilk.blogspot.com.au/2013/03/is-this-post-grognardia-era.html

    • jdj permalink
      March 17, 2013 4:32 pm

      Post-grognardia? More like post-realizing they’ve been fucked out of some money.
      Hell I’m seriously pissed for JMal causing my day-job and gaming to mix on a blog post.

  30. Cameron permalink
    March 17, 2013 6:01 pm

    Umph. No knowing James personally I hesitate to comment on anything other than James as a blogger. His was the first OSR blog I read three or four years ago, and I was impressed, but he lost me when it became apparent that he was a very selfish blogger; the kind of blogger that refused to direct any attention or credit away from himself; hence, I got the idea that he felt he was slumming to even make oblique references to a given day’s topic du jour. And linking the relevant blogs, of course, was always a step too far for him to even consider. This ended up being the lens through which I viewed his constant blegs for materials and information.

    On the whole, I found Grognardia’s “We are the elder statesman, and thus above everything except your adoration” schtick very annoying.

    He may still make good on Dwimmermount, or even Petty Gods. But Tavis’s actions at this point indicate that James’ backers have made a sucker bet.

  31. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    March 18, 2013 12:14 pm

    Looks like Petty Gods will see the light of day.
    http://greyhawkgrognard.blogspot.com/2013/03/petty-gods-update.html

    • Ritter permalink
      March 18, 2013 1:20 pm

      It doesn’t look like the torch has been officially handed off. St. Jimmy has nothing to do with this. It looks like this Gorgonmilk dude is independently offering to pick up the project. If Jimmy had any involvement, the dude wouldn’t have to ask for all the submissions from scratch.

      It’s nice to see that Gamer Stockholm Syndrome is still in effect:

      “Especially given James’s recent troubles, it would be great to see one of his ideas get pushed over the finish line.”

      The whole “let’s all pull together for Jimmy’s sake” shit is annoying.

      • Schadenfreude permalink
        March 18, 2013 2:44 pm

        Yeah, it sounds like the contributors are going to have to submit their stuff all over again ’cause I saw nothing about JMal turning over his files.

      • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
        March 18, 2013 2:56 pm

        It’s the least we can do as gamers, adults and good christians to pick Jimmy up, dust him off, give him a cookie and a hearty slap on the back and carry him over the finish line. After all, I heard he’s having such “hard time” after straining his back carrying that sack of ill-gotten cash. His wife AND kids also beat him in a game of Mario Kart last week (and you know how that will stop you in your tracks and wither your manhood)!
        Let’s give a big cheer and Huzzah to the greatest gaming guru of our Pre-Grognardia era!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        March 18, 2013 4:18 pm

        Everybody gets a hug and a trophy just for participating! The parallels between the OSR and Special Olympics are very telling indeed…

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 18, 2013 5:43 pm

        JaMal is still hiding under the bed/mommies skirts for now, maybe this is just a clever ruse to lure his milquetoast pasty ass out long enough to slap some sense into him. Or probably not. Either way it will probably piss JaMal off one way or another which will make me smile.

  32. William Z Cohen permalink
    March 18, 2013 12:50 pm

    LOL you all need help..

    • Stefan Poag permalink
      March 18, 2013 4:20 pm

      ACHTUNG JUDEN VERBOTEN!!!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 18, 2013 5:41 pm

        Seems like Gene ain’t the only one off his meds this week either.
        FUCK POAG GO DRAW SOME MORE SHITTING ORCS YOU HACK!

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 18, 2013 5:42 pm

      Some more than others sir.

  33. Mike Jamison permalink
    March 18, 2013 2:16 pm

    As amusing as all this is, it really needs to have an end in sight. Mr. Allison’s offer to give away some of his old product really doesn’t fix anything. Nobody wants a whole bunch of product that he didn’t ask for. Mr. Tavis has a contract that is binding between himself and Mr. Maliszewski. I didn’t see any signatures by the kickstarters in the Crowdfunding Agreement that these individuals signed. To my knowledge, Mr. Allison entered into this agreement without the kickstarters’ knowledge or consent.

    Mr. Maliszewski has a duty to perform. Looks like that isn’t going to happen. Mr. Allison wants to be a mensch. Pretty soon he will realize that giving people what they don’t want is a poor substitute for giving them what they do want. At that point in time, Mr. Allison will realize that he is on the hook and his reputation is on the line. Unfortunately, Mr. Allison signed everything away, and Mr. Maliszewski has legal claim over the intellectual property relating to the product. So Mr. Allison can’t sue for title to the intellectual property. So he needs to sue Mr. Maliszewski for equitable relief.

    Since it appears that Mr. Allison hired Mr. Maliszewski under contract to produce a product using Mr. Maliszewski’s intellectual property, and Mr. Maliszewski has not performed, the clear remedy is for a court to give Mr. Allison an equitable assignment of the intellectual property. It looks like a pretty easy argument to make, and given Mr. Maliszewski’s current reluctance to communicate, it looks like an easy summary judgment. And it appears that most if not all of the intellectual property is floating around on PDFs. Once Mr. Allison gets the rights to the ideas, he can fulfill the orders. Unfortunately, he won’t have access to the $49,000. But hopefully he knows better than to play this game the same way next time.

    I haven’t seen the PDF, so I don’t know whether the product is any good. However, I know that the customers should get what they paid for. What they paid for is a product from Autarch games. They should get it. If it’s a good product, the kickstarters will be happy. If it is garbage, then they will be wiser. Well… at least they will have had the opportunity to become wiser.

    Mr. Maliszewski has traded in his credibility for some (not inconsiderable) monetary gain. Mr. Allison wants to retain his. He can do so by initiating a lawsuit. Unfortunately, it appears that the agreement requires that any such lawsuit be filed in North Carolina. Mr. Allison, you had better prepare yourself for a road trip and have your North Carolina lawyer brush up on the long arm statutes for service of process. It’s the professional thing to do.

    Or you can step aside and let another amateur take your place.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 18, 2013 5:50 pm

      JaMal has always seemed to me to be a holier than thou pair of bitchtits in the first place. The only contact I had with the man was a short terse rebuttal about posting my opinions on AD&D on one of his articles on his blog. It could be just me but he’s always seemed to me too be a smug and selfish fuckfaced little fart when it comes to dealing with anyone outside of the circle jerk of Zak Princess, Faggi, GOPagan and the rest of the brown noser club. He lost all credibility to me when he began asking for free out of print games to be donated to him. Fuck that guy.I hope this pisses him off.

  34. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 18, 2013 2:32 pm

    Attention whores who are not getting attention eventually feel like a celebrity who has lost all his fame. It may not come out now in the haze of drugs/stupidy/insanity, but it will later. Geekface will miss the compliments of The Unblown so much that eventually he will pop right up and pick it all up where he left off. After all the drama, it will get him a lot of attention just for showing up. Gamer Stockholm has all these dipshits rooting for him, and when his head clears he’ll see it as a sign that he can make a second coming like Christ. He will apologize, promise them all the moon and stars and a finished Dwimmermount and other projects, and get right back to his blog posting about shit most of us here could not give a monkey’s sloppy ass about.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 18, 2013 5:58 pm

      He can come back to be tarred and feathered by the community at large for giving freelance rs the shaft and taking money from the Kickstarter. He might be able to get couple of erections from his ‘loyal fans’ but he’ll have to really suck some flaccid cock before that will happen. Watching JaMal have to grovel before the unwashed masses will be price enough for me. I’ll still fling some rotten vegetables his way.

  35. Grifty McGrifterson permalink
    March 18, 2013 2:48 pm

    UGH….
    http://oubliettemagazine.blogspot.com/2013/03/petty-gods-x12.html

    Maybe this will be just the publicity James needs to crawl out from under the bed….

    • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
      March 18, 2013 2:50 pm

      Whoops…Look like Chatdemon beat me too it…that’s teach me not to swim through the voluminous comments section first.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        March 18, 2013 4:13 pm

        Don’t worry about it. Think of it as a reminder that 99% of the OSR Turdosphere is just everyone posting the same exact shit within minutes of each other on their BlOwSR blogs.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 18, 2013 5:40 pm

        Yeah it’s like a broken sewer pipe with the OSR.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 18, 2013 4:16 pm

      GorgonMilkMyBalls sez: “This is a very attractive layout style. However, I think a more spare approach — closer perhaps to JG’s ‘Unknown Gods’ book — would also work quite effectively.”

      Translation: “I don’t have the skill to lay this out nicely so I’m going to make it look like one of those old Judge’s Guild products from the 70s that were done with a portable manual typewriter. “

      • March 18, 2013 5:12 pm

        Jesus fucking Christ, the project started as an Unknown Gods rip-off in the first place, might as well go all the way back to 1980 and get Jenell Jaquays to start over while we’re at it. Dig up Bob Bledsaw’s corpse, have it sign the deluxe copies and you’ve got a kickfarter for the ages! The pope is dead! Long live the new pope!

  36. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    March 18, 2013 4:09 pm

    Pre-Grognardia and Post-Grognardia? These are the ages of the BlOwSR now I suppose.

    JaMal probably threw a hissy fit when the academic community switched from B.C. and A.D. to BCE and CE, taking Jesus Christ out of the picture. This will be the final blow, the death knell. Start the suicide watch.

    That GorgonPreCum is a rottah and a shyte-hoale fokker!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 18, 2013 6:12 pm

      Lette hym bee raypen withe dikkes!!!!

  37. Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
    March 18, 2013 5:55 pm

    I love the pretentious fuck who refers to RPG dorks as Mr. This and Mr. That. Shut the fuck up, douchebag. We’re not talking the god damned POTUS… but some aging shitbag who overpromised and underdelivered on Dungeons and FUCKING Dragons ripoffs – they’re not curing cancer. Wake the fuck up MIKE JAMISON.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 18, 2013 9:01 pm

      You seldom do this, but you called this one wrong. Mike Jamison is A-okay in my book. Mike totally gets it:

      “Or you can step aside and let another amateur take your place.”

      One of us, one of us…

      • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
        March 19, 2013 7:40 am

        Thanks for the affirmation, Spectre. Also, your quote points out that I might not have made the point that I wanted to make. Regardless what we think of the Autarch product line, Mr. Allison is playing in the real world with real money. He has now crossed the line into professional territory. He can no longer claim to be a hobbyist and expect people to just let him off the hook.

        I have no problem giving Mr. Allison and Mr. Maliszewski respect where it is due. It appears that in the past Mr. Maliszewski did work as member of a writing team on several reasonably respectable (or at least almost mainstream–probably second tier) products . Mr. Allison has, at the very least, a website and a line of products. I can give them credit for at least going through the motions.

        The thing that really gets me worked up about these two characters is that they promote their product as being so much better than the mainstream product. Why does this bother me? Well, let me tell ya a story…

        When I was a freshman in high school, I was a big fan of indie comics (i.e. Badger, Nexus, Cerebrus, etc.). I was also a pretty gullible consumer. So it was inevitable that one day I purchased a couple of Solson titles. They were crap. Ordinarily, I would be disappointed but soon get over it because that’s just the risk you take. But the thing that got me was that inside the books Gary Brodsky would take a full page hyping his worthless books by telling me, the reader, that his books were the best on the market when in fact they were pulp black-and-whites with covers that collected fingerprints and art from, among others, Rick Buckler! The King of Swipes himself!

        On second thougt, maybe my story doesn’t quite get my point across and just portrays me as insular and pathetic. Let me put it another way. Based on what I’ve read about Dwimmermount from the descriptions given by Mr. Maliszewski himself, it appears to me that the product is essentially a paper-and-ink analogue of a video game emulator for an Original Dungeons and Dragons adventure. If that’s what it is, then that’s fine. However, his puffery leaves one with the impression that he has come up with something that is a significant improvement over what we’ve seen in, say, the last ten or fifteen years. That’s simply not true on its face, and it bothers me that the fifth-named author of the 2002 Power of the Jedi Sourcebook would squander his credibility telling me something like that. If you’ll forgive me squeezing every last drop from the video game comparison, the OSR agenda is the equivalent of making a Donkey Kong emulator and then telling the whole world how much better it is than Shadow of the Colossus.

        Long story short… Mr. Maliszewksi pulled a fast one on Mr. Allison. Mr. Maliszewski has an obligation to come up with the completed product. Mr. Allison, also has that obligation. Mr. Allison wants to say that he doesn’t have to pony up because he was screwed by Mr. Maliszewski. That is kind of like… no… that is exactly like that kid who would borrow a dollar from you on the playground one day and then tell you the next day that you need to collect from another kid to whom he lent a dollar two weeks ago. You’re not a party to that agreement, and the kickstarters were not a party the agreement that Mr. Allison has posted and is using to argue his way out of his professional obligations.

        So Mr. Allison, without knowing it, and apparently unintentionally, has become a professional. Technically. That is my qualification of my earlier statement which you quoted.

        Jesus! I expect you guys to read all of that?! I really am a douchebag!

      • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
        March 19, 2013 7:55 am

        Jesus! I misspelled Cerebus! “Someone get that douchebag an editor.”

      • March 19, 2013 8:01 am

        I like it, you cheerful and verbose fuck. Mazel tov, our Tavilleh has become a man! But I was under the impression that “rpg professional” was an oxymoron like “OSR brainpower” or “good fan art” because (a) it’s not about the bucks it’s all about the hyucks (b) this “industry” is such a clown show that applying professional expertise in the field would be like trying to flush a camel turd down a doll toilet that isn’t even plugged into the pipes.

        Who are the “rpg pros?” What do they do that’s so different? Are they all insane?

      • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
        March 19, 2013 9:06 am

        Ha! Schiz, I love your posts, but you make my brain ache a little. You weren’t abducted by Tom Wolfe as a child, were you?

        Sorry ’bout the confusion. I meant “professional” in its most bare-bones sense. As in you somehow convinced someone to put down good money for product. It is not meant to be a commentary on quality. I definitely did not mean that they had endeavored to attain any Platonic form of “professionalism.” Rather, I’m just pointing out that they’re taking money and need to act like big boys.

        “Who are the ‘rpg pros?'” Hell–you got me. Might as well follow Diogenes down the streets of Athens with that question. I also cannot comment on their sanity. I can express some mild concern for our own, however. By most accounts, Dwimmermount deserves nothing but obscurity. However, our own heckling has given far more popularity than it deserves. It’s a niche product within an insular clique of a small consumer market. And we’ve made it the next Last Dangerous Visions. Well… maybe not. Our ghetto is more gilded than golden, and it is much smaller than the 70s science fiction community.

        The OSR guys want to send the community back to the stone age. I think the current drones at WOTC are smart guys who mean well, but they owe a fealty to their corporate masters. The WOTC guys are fat and happy, and I suspect the Paizo guys also are. The OSR guys desperately want to be those guys. Unfortunately, most of them are, at best, moderately talented critics. That’s like being a moderately-talented lawyer on a planet populated entirely by lawyers. So I’m laying down even money on most or all of them being delusional.

        But then there’s me. I’m a madman with a keyboard squatting on some anonymous guy’s blog. And it doesn’t get any better than that.

      • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
        March 19, 2013 9:20 am

        And Specter, since we’re all friends here, feel free to use the nickname that Fucktard’s Everfull Ass graciously bestowed upon me.

      • March 19, 2013 9:55 am

        I’d say leave my goddamn childhood out of this, but in the final analysis it’s the smooth stink of nostalgia unites us, right? Besides, fucker didn’t exactly kidnap me, he won me from George Plimpton in a fucking canasta tournament.

        What we seem to have here is a situation where endless stunted amateurs stretch their weird soft baby hands to the sun and once in awhile one almost makes it out of the pit and becomes a “professional” where you can charge “money” for being “creative.” Hooray! But he’s always too fucked up somehow or weak and something goes wrong so he falls back and his brothers slobber him to death for his presumption. And so it goes. I like it. Whoever makes it out to actually begin the true industry will be strong and in the meantime the fanboys get their giggles and the wives don’t seem to complain much.

  38. Mike Jamison permalink
    March 18, 2013 8:48 pm

    Dear Mr. Ass:

    Thank you for your expression of affection. I also thank you for your observations and your advice. Unfortunately, I must inform you that all are ignored as they are all either obvious, irrelevant, or I simply don’t want to do what you say.

    You don’t really suspect that I’m going to shut up. I think, instead, that you’re being ironic (that means saying one thing and meaning the exact opposite). You want me to respond–perhaps you would like me to posture and sound angry. I cannot comply with your wishes in that regard either–because, as you so cleverly pointed out, I am a douchebag.

    However, I am not delusional. I am fully aware that we are not discussing the federal executive power, nor are we discussing oncological matters (please note the complete absence of any references to any such matter in my first post and have your psychologist address your own delusions accordingly). The matter that I found to be significant was that of the sum of $49,000 (more or less). That may not be a lot of money to you, Mr. Ass, but it appears to an amount that Mr. Allison is neither willing nor able to withstand.

    Perhaps you prefer to concern yourself with those more significant matters. I would suggest, then, that this is not the forum for you. I am led to believe, based on my reading of the comments posted here, that the preferred content for this site is low humor and that any constructive suggestions are generally made obliquely or often accidentally. However they do occasionally appear on this site–and without any objection from you.

    So what is it about my comments that so offends you? Do you not approve that my suggestions were blunt and humorless? Perhaps you disapprove of my douchebaggery. I admit that it is difficult to find a formal, dispassionate tone at this site. However, I cannot find any statement on this blog prohibiting such writing. Perhaps you should petition Mr. Suck himself, and he can implement his policy. You can also request that Mr. Suck remove my comments. It appears this would be unprecedented, but what the hell, right. If these two options fail, I have but one other piece of advice left to give you: You can suck it.

    Now, for the purpose of causing further incitement, I reiterate the substance of my previous comments: Mr. Allison foolishly gave a lot of money to Mr. Maliszewski, and that transfer of money and other considerations were memorialized in a contract. Contrary to Mr. Allison’s own stated belief, HE IS STILL ON THE HOOK TO THE SUPPORTERS OF THE KICKSTARTER PROJECT. Mr. Allison is still in the business. He needs to look after his own reputation if he wants to stay in the business.

    Hmmm… It looks as though I’ve done it again. Everything is Mr. This and Mr. That. I have been a complete douchebag once more, and nothing here is funny. Very well–I leave it in your hands, Mr. Ass. Please be sure to rant. Also, use some hyperbole… that’s always funny, right? Don’t forget to swear. And use my real name in some gratuitous yet vaguely threatening way.

    But if you have expended all of your mental energies in your last comment, feel free to take my earlier advice…

    … and just suck it.

    Respectfully yours,

    Pretentious Fuck, Esq.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 18, 2013 10:47 pm

      LOL

    • Zarathustra permalink
      March 19, 2013 12:47 am

      One of Suckdungeons finest!

    • March 19, 2013 3:18 am

      +1

    • Timothy permalink
      March 19, 2013 7:14 am

      C’mon, brothers, let’s not argue about who killed who. Group hug!

      Hey, who farted?

      Mike, it seems like you want to challenge perdustin as our local sage of erudition. Good luck!

    • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
      March 19, 2013 7:48 am

      I intended no ill will–just sport. Although I did anticipate a worthy adversary who would reply in twelve hours time.

      Mr. Ass, when I told you to suck it, I was being figurative. Oh well… why fight it?

  39. The Fire Giant That Killed Black Dougal permalink
    March 18, 2013 9:31 pm

    In other OSR news:

    Oh noes!

    http://osrcon.wordpress.com/2013/03/18/osrcon-is-cancelled/

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 19, 2013 6:26 am

      Jesus Mother Fucking Christ the egos!!!! The Merril Collection, Friends of the Merril Collection, the Lillian H. Smith Library – WTF???? OSRCon should have just been called CanuCKon anyway – just a bunch of drunk Canadian Bob and Doug McKenzie wannabe hoser fatbeards anyway.

      And I was so looking forward to smelling Ed Greenwood’s cat piss beard this year.

      I wonder if Lillian H. Smith was the inspiration behind Lady Wrinklequim?

      • March 19, 2013 10:05 am

        I think Lillian H. Smith is “the historical Lady Wrinklequim” as of now. Great way to promote the Merril Collection, Dave! This should boost their SEO nicely.

    • Timothy permalink
      March 19, 2013 7:18 am

      Wow, without the Pope, there is no hope.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        March 19, 2013 4:57 pm

        From Con Organizer, to Con Artist.

  40. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 19, 2013 11:21 am

    The loss of a cat pee and underwiped buttcrack-scented con at the local library just might not be the biggest loss to the OSR this year (I’m assuming Jamal’s best fails count as last year). My boy In AZ is having severe computer trouble (hope you were sitting down when I dropped that suprise on you). Who knows what priceless treasures in his adventure file we will be deprived of. Not only us, but the future Unblown of America.

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=87&t=60502

    I know it’s not tasty news, but I figure any BM news is good news. Don’t wanna miss a single morsel of Blooey goodness.

    • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
      March 19, 2013 12:15 pm

      Oh noes! No pc means he’ll have to fall back on his carrier pigeons for his increasingly maudlin posts….or he would have but they all died from a terrible birdemic and/or loneliness.

    • March 19, 2013 6:25 pm

      JMAL had a great swingers nights at the ole HOJOs.
      Some big pricked small white dude fucked his wife til she came as jaes dropped his drawers in dismay. As he could not rise.

  41. March 19, 2013 6:24 pm

    New idea for KEWL KICKSTARTER!

    Everyone get thee to thy toilet chamber and free with they left hand a sheet of paper of the toilet. Take said paper and wipe thine arse. The resulting smear of chit must be looked at.
    That smear of shit is art.
    Make it the cover of your next attempt at being an asshole.

  42. March 19, 2013 7:13 pm

    Ah, Gene Weigel, you are a wonder to behold!

    Gene describes a splendidly paranoid anti-Gygax conspiracy:
    http://www.therpgsite.com/showpost.php?p=638187&postcount=221

    He begins the paragraph with “Its common knowledge” and ends it with “I don’t even know the details.”

    Bravo, sir, bravo! Never let inconsistency or ignorance interfere with the thrust of your argument!

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 19, 2013 7:39 pm

      Gene never fails to amaze. I like how he left here to hunker down at theRPGsite.

      • Timothy permalink
        March 19, 2013 8:10 pm

        Yeah, funny how he sought succor here after fleeing other sites where he was exposed for a babbling fraud. Like we are a haven of dumbass-analysis.

        Hey, we’ll take the blacks and the chinese but NOT the micks!

        (If Wiegel is Polish, then THAT is who we hate instead.)

      • March 22, 2013 6:42 am

        I never left. As experimental as THAT was, at least it showed how D&D fans can’t speak about real things and they’ll resort to changing the subject with personal “GOOGE-ling” attacks and/or focus on presentation of a messageboard posting. What is the common denominator of all these rpg fans? Its probably better not to ask… however why not? A need to keep posting superficially as part of some kind of continuity? Its the games themselves that are the problem but as long as they’re willing to stick their necks out then why not chop them off? Its fucking tiresome. Thats the only reason why to take a fucking break from the annoying “NOIDS”. There is always going to be some withered rpg company supporter who can’t see he’s been drained by the way they made that company games but that still isn’t going to be my problem any day of the week… but they’ll be searching for what side I protested on at an abortion clinic as a reply to anything. thats some sad sauce….

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 22, 2013 2:16 pm

        I knew you couldn’t quit us Gene! We’ll Google you all day if you keep providing us with fresh insights from your muddled and stuttering stream of consciousness that flows from Lake Weigel!
        However, we’re talking about Scumbag Jimmy right now Eugene, you’ll have to do better than “NOIDS” and tales how you peed your pants on some shitty forums to get a rise from us these days.

  43. March 20, 2013 1:47 am

    Nothing like 30 year old rumors.

  44. Zarathustra permalink
    March 20, 2013 4:51 am

    One thing I’ve noticed about the OSR is that it’s capacity for forgiveness is inversely proportional to the age of the offence. So anyone who stepped on Gygax’s toes (or Arnesons, for some people) or was involved in 2e or 3e is still met with blasts of vitriol. But St Jimmy’s fraud & utter contempt for buyers/business partners/artists etc brings only love & forgiveness.

  45. Timothy permalink
    March 20, 2013 7:08 am

    That wmarshall dude put another post on the dumbermount dickstarter page. He reccomends letting Autarch take the legal point, and it seems from some of Tavis’ comments from yesterday that they are very close to doing that. One guy asks about a refund, and Tavis says to send Jimmie an email request, and cc them (Autarch) so it is documented.

    Shit is about to get nasty.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 20, 2013 9:55 am

      Eesh. What a mess.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 20, 2013 12:46 pm

      LOL! Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon backers are nailed to the ceiling by their ball sacks thanks to JaMal the Scam and Wesley Marshall says “Hang in there!”

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        March 20, 2013 12:47 pm

        Make that Kevin Watson, unblown social retard.

  46. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 20, 2013 11:22 am

    What really strikes me is how many times in the last month or two I’ve read shit like “I don’t really care about the money” or “I don’t want my money back.” Really, talk about man-children. A grown-ass man even with a good pile of money in the bank and other assets feels like shit when he loses 20 bucks. A real man wacks his head and feels like an idiot, and in learns from it. I was a very young man the last time I got gyped at a liquer store or 7-11 with the wrong change and found out later. You learn from feeling taken or stupid. But how uncaring they seem about 50 or even 130 bucks with wings on them floating off into the ether. If they have kids they should be especially shameful; Jamals kids enjoying game systems and his wife glowing with how hubby profited off others and provided nothing (and can there be any doubt that she probably, in a Lorraine way, thinks gamers are idiots and formerly just tolerated Jamal’s hobby?), while the Dwimmermount faithful’s kids play games from two years ago?

    And look how eagerly hopeful the people in those comments are from several months ago. “I can’t wait!” “This is big!” “I love megadungeons, this is gonna rule!”

    Good lord, Jamal is a shameless creep.

    I do like the one guy from a recent comment. Simply, beautifully sez “Can I get my money back?” Sorry bro, probably not.

    • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
      March 20, 2013 4:35 pm

      I’d be upset about losing my money, too. But what are they going to do?–Mr. Allison sent their money to an expatriate. The smart thing for the kickstarters to do is hound the guy on this side of the border.

      I’ve been bouncing this whole thing around in my head, and I’m thinking Mr. Allison might be best served by resorting to self help. The intellectual property is all there. He should just take the existing PDF, make the necessary improvements to what is already in existence (or not, if he can live with himself), and put out the product himself. He takes the financial loss, but he keeps his reputation. And then he can sell a 2.0 or whatever through his company with a little essay included which tells the world what a mensch he was and how Mr. Maliszewski really has no place in the business except for stuffing boxes with books, pamphlets and maps.

      Does this sound like piracy to you? Perhaps it is, but it’s the lesser of two evils. Besides, who among us thinks Mr. Maliszewski will sue? If he does, I’m guessing there’s quite a bit less than $49,000 in his war chest right now. And he’d have to set up in North Carolina, IIRC. And even if he had the means, he would have to have big ones to walk into court after the shit he has pulled thus far.

      Mr. Allison should just take the loss and try to cover those losses with future editions. Maybe calling Maury will help….

      With regard to Mrs. Maliszewski, I seem to recall that she participates in his recreational gaming. I don’t know that his pulling off one big scam since he started his blog in ’08 (?) would give her much pride in knowing she’s married to some great white collar criminal. More likely, she’s either a saint or codependent.

      Aw, fuck it. Who wants pie?

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 21, 2013 6:42 am

        I think at this point it’s probably a safe bet that JaMal has spent most if not all the money or stashed it away someplace safe. Tavis has little too lose at this point and his trip to come face to face with JaMal has not to my knowledge been anything but a waste of time. I’d love to see a Maury episode between Tavis and JaMal fighting over the parental rights of Dwimmermount!

      • Schadenfreude permalink
        March 22, 2013 6:16 am

        “Tavis . . . You are *not* the father!”

        James struts around yelling “I told you!”

        That’d be good TV.

  47. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    March 20, 2013 12:56 pm

    So did that guy at GaryCon ever get some silverware?

    • Shitty McTits permalink
      March 20, 2013 1:49 pm

      I dunno if he ever got his silverware but I saw him Saturday night and he hadn’t starved to death yet. So I guess he probably did.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        March 20, 2013 7:12 pm

        Do they hold that con in an old coal shaft out in the desert? Because almost every city, town, and suburb has a 7-11 or Dairy Queen or whatever down the block. Maybe a supermarket a block or two away? The guy needed to forum post for spork-help? God, the man-childtards really fucking stand-out in this scene, don’t they? Or maybe most of them are broke-ass wanna be publishers like Bloodymage who spend every last spare dime not invested in their game designer dreams on getting to this fantastic, inspiring gathering of Gygax worshippers.

      • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
        March 21, 2013 6:49 am

        Based on my past experiences, I’m willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and figure he was drunk and not planning on getting sober any time soon. This happened with a convention that I’ve helped out from time to time. It was located in the middle of nowhere at the time, and we would run out of ice and nobody would be sober enough to drive to the local mini mart to pick up some more. Fortunately for us, there was always seven or eight LARPers around who would always be sober. Forty bucks and thirty minutes later the the bar’s coolers would be re-stocked, and the only downside was that I can no longer make fun of LARPers with a clear conscience.

        On the other hand, what the hell kind of convention can’t keep it’s members flush with plastic forks and spoons? The convention I help out doesn’t have any celebrity guests or formal gaming events, but thirty-five bucks gets you four meals through the weekend and free booze to everyone over twenty-one. No sporks? Really?!

        Either way, if this guy attends next year, we should have a care package waiting for him.

  48. Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
    March 20, 2013 6:26 pm

    Any updates? :Last I heard our hero, Tavis the Meek, Lawful Good priest of Lawfullness and all things Lawful was heading to the Gathering of the Fatbeards to rendevous with his adventuring cohorts, Lady Wrinklequim, Mistress of Magics scented like Vinegar and/or 3 day old fish, and the sturdy dwarf Dwimmerschlong Cockscarfer., from whence they were going to brave the northern wastelands to confront the Arch Illusionist JaMAL in an attempt to dispel his epic enchanment of Silence $48,000 radius..

    • Mordekanian's Magnificient Man Pussy permalink
      March 20, 2013 11:08 pm

      “Fifth named author on the 2002 powers of Jedi book”.

      Heh. I think I like tavis personally given what I’ve read of his blogging, but that is a funny burn.

  49. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    March 21, 2013 1:38 am

    I’d wager Flim Flam Jim is on the intarwebs only making sure not to use his identity or make any posts that someone might identify as his bombastic egotistical self. I’m sure he’s praying and hoping the Dwimmerdust will fade away so he can resume posting on his blog. I’m sure Jimmy’s debating every day whether $48,000 is worth perpetual silence versus basking in the glory of permavirgin fatbeards on the intarwebs. Since his ass is likely on the line to some extent it’s likely that the kickstarter backers actually bought Jamal’s permanent silence for their money.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 21, 2013 6:35 am

      The stench of smarm and smug that exudes from JaMal should be detectable no matter what guise he adopts to slink back out to the interwebs. His milquetoast catholic mannerisms probably won’t let him come back without a big weepy apology to his adoring fart sniffing fanbase.
      I’d like to believe that the missing $48k has bought some silence to the JaMal Grognardian sewer pipe but creeps like Zak and Raggi are still out there, growing stronger…
      FUCK!

    • The Fire Giant That Killed Black Dougal permalink
      March 21, 2013 1:40 pm

      Just for clarity purposes, I must say I’m rather taken with IRWS’ DwimmerDUST, which should not be confused with JaMal’s DwimmerMOUNT/DwimmerDOUCHE/DwimmerMAL/etc.

  50. March 21, 2013 10:35 am

    Posted by Jmal today at 1:19 on his Google+ Account…

    “If do-overs for years were possible, I’d request one for 2012. So far, 2013 hasn’t been high on my list of great years either but the big difference is that much (though not all) of the pain this year has been purposeful, as I, however haltingly, pull myself back together and carry on.

    I’ve been fortunate in having an undeserved number of people looking out for me, starting with my family. I’d probably be even more of a wreck than I already am if it weren’t for them. But I’ll be honest: I need more people looking out for me, which is why, now that I’m in the process of putting right a big bit of business that’s contributed greatly to my unhappiness, I’ll soon be closing up this account and retreating into the company of those who like and care about me.

    If you’re one of those people — someone who enjoys my company and genuinely cares about me as a person, rather than as a writer or anything else — drop me a note at james.maliszewski@hotmail.com, which is an address I set up specifically for this purpose. I can then keep in touch with you, as I continue to set my life in order in the weeks and months to come, since I will definitely need the support of friends to effect that.

    I ask you please not to repost this or forward it. I’m already in the midst of dealing with enough stuff as it is without my personal turmoil being broadcast to those with whom I have no interest in sharing it. I’ll be leaving this post and account up till Easter, after which I’ll delete it, so if you have until that time to send me a note at the above address. I won’t be checking here again until that time.

    Thanks, everyone.”

    TL;DR

    Life’s a bitch — especially when I get called out for taking $48k, abandoning my business obligations, and leaving thousands of people in the lurch. I’m going to ‘set things right’ and retreat back into my echo chamber.

    What a cunt.

  51. Iron Man permalink
    March 21, 2013 10:39 am

    If do-overs for years were possible, I’d request one for 2012. So far, 2013 hasn’t been high on my list of great years either but the big difference is that much (though not all) of the pain this year has been purposeful, as I, however haltingly, pull myself back together and carry on.

    I’ve been fortunate in having an undeserved number of people looking out for me, starting with my family. I’d probably be even more of a wreck than I already am if it weren’t for them. But I’ll be honest: I need more people looking out for me, which is why, now that I’m in the process of putting right a big bit of business that’s contributed greatly to my unhappiness, I’ll soon be closing up this account and retreating into the company of those who like and care about me.

    If you’re one of those people — someone who enjoys my company and genuinely cares about me as a person, rather than as a writer or anything else — drop me a note at james.maliszewski@hotmail.com, which is an address I set up specifically for this purpose. I can then keep in touch with you, as I continue to set my life in order in the weeks and months to come, since I will definitely need the support of friends to effect that.

    I ask you please not to repost this or forward it. I’m already in the midst of dealing with enough stuff as it is without my personal turmoil being broadcast to those with whom I have no interest in sharing it. I’ll be leaving this post and account up till Easter, after which I’ll delete it, so if you have until that time to send me a note at the above address. I won’t be checking here again until that time.

    Thanks, everyone.

    • Iron Man permalink
      March 21, 2013 10:47 am

      http://imgur.com/I7kcsTu

      • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
        March 21, 2013 2:32 pm

        Wow…just…wow.

    • wmarshal permalink
      March 21, 2013 11:19 am

      Iron Man, where did you find that? G+? (I’m assuming that you put the screenshot on imgur.)

    • Some King's Kunt permalink
      March 21, 2013 11:28 am

      If I could do-over 2012, I wouldn’t have fucking backed Dwimmermount on Kickstarter.

    • March 21, 2013 11:42 am

      Seems like Jimmy is getting ready to set sail with his followers. Wonder if they will settle on a metaphorical Guyana? Perhaps together they will figure out a way to re-write the sample dungeons found in the old books and games we all loathe to love.

      • Bastard Child permalink
        March 21, 2013 12:54 pm

        http://imgur.com/gYZnnmf

        Put on your chap stick and pucker up…

        LIsten, James, I know you because I read your Blogspot on elfgames. You are:

        * earnest (through your intense dedication in not communicating with your business partners, hired freelancers, your… err… Tavis’ Kickstarter backers, or the general public)
        * vulnerable (as demonstrated through your whining and moping)
        * kind (you refrained from shitting on Ken St. Andre when he shit up your game at OSRcon)
        * thorough (you’ve failed not one, but two projects!)
        *hard-working (as your failed ‘Petty Gods’ and ‘Dwimmermount’ can attest)

        Anyway, I just want to be the first person to say that even though I’ve never met you and that you’ve pretty much ran off with my money, I’m not mad. I still support the ‘you’ I don’t really know.

        You’re a good guy. I can tell because I read what you write, not because I pay attention to what you do (or don’t do).

        Yours truly,
        Ass Kisser

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 21, 2013 1:40 pm

        JaMal looks like he’s about to run off into the sunset and wants a pat on the belly and a hug before he leaves. What a fucking load of horseshit.

      • March 21, 2013 4:48 pm

        Bastard Child, you missed one. ‘Ass Kisser’ says about JaMal, “And you’re trustworthy.”

        Is Ass Kisser a troll? What has Mr. Maliszewski ever done to engender trust?

    • jdj permalink
      March 22, 2013 5:00 am

      What an incredible choad, he’s leaving a “I’m quitting this forum” message for the entire interwebs… what a pathetic wimpy drama-queen.

  52. Iron Man permalink
    March 21, 2013 10:44 am

    TL;DR

    Life’s a bitch, especially when you get called out for walking out the door with $48k without fulfilling any of your business obligations. I only want to talk to people who truly care about who I am as a person, not what I’ve done as a person, so after I ‘set things right’, I’m going to retreat back into my echo-chamber with my army of sycophants.

    Go Maple Leafs!

    • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
      March 21, 2013 10:54 am

      TRANSLATION: I’d like to retreat to an even smaller echo chamber since this old one has too many people asking me hurtful questions like “Can I have a refund?” and “Where did the money go?”

  53. Timothy permalink
    March 21, 2013 11:17 am

    Nice catch, Iron Man.

    So Jimmie says he is “in the process of putting right a big bit of business that’s contributed greatly to my unhappiness.”

    Just a hunch, but I guess this is Dumbermount. I wonder what he is doing to put this situation right? Has he finally returned Tavis’ emails? Why does he need syncophants to hold his hand for that? Oh, those cold, uncaring electrons…

    • March 21, 2013 11:43 am

      I think he means that he hasn’t spent he rest of his ill gotten hoard yet.
      There’s a Porsche with his name on it.

    • Lord of Green Drizzleshits permalink
      March 21, 2013 12:51 pm

      He needs them for additional “assistance” (funds) so that he can restore the $49,000 to Autarch and the backers.

    • Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
      March 21, 2013 8:01 pm

      “…. I’m in the process of putting right a big bit of business that’s contributed greatly to my unhappiness,”…
      ya know, up until now I’ve sorta been along for the ride, poking fun at the situation, but that comment actually makes me mad….
      JUST FUCKING SAY WHAT YOU”RE GOING TO DO YOU FUCKING COCKWIPER, WE”VE BEEN WAITING 3 FUCKING MONTHS !!!

      I’m sure many of the G+ ers that message was intended for are backers too. If you’re going to actually finish it off, say it. If you’re going to sign over I.P. and whatever money is left back to Autarch, then say that .
      Sheesh !!

  54. Zarathustra permalink
    March 21, 2013 12:43 pm

    Hahaha, Jimmy actually thinks that people care about him about him as a writer.
    I’ll be chuckling about that for days. One last hurrah from ol’ pompous Jimmy.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 21, 2013 1:49 pm

      It wouldn’t be YDIS unless we speculate about the deeper meaning of JaMal’s ‘ retreating into the company of those who like and care about me’ comment. I mean, for fucks sake, he’s practically been curled up inside his wife for the last six months. Is he seeking asylum in her womb? Does he think the people he fucked over are just going to offer him a place to stay when his wife gets tired of his laying around the house sucking his thumb? I think ol’ JaMal has lost it and needs a visit from the nice young men in the clean white jackets and lengthy stay at Sunny Acres Funny Farm.

  55. Grifty McGrifterson permalink
    March 21, 2013 4:51 pm

    RPG site is revved up again with the latest Jmal discovery and that bleating pain in the candy ass Mistwell is leading the white knight charge about how despicable people are for sharing that confidential post to satisfy their spite and morbid curiosities.
    I wish he’d just come right out and admit his frustration with his unrequited love for Jmal and stop his online angry nun with a ruler assault on anyone that doesn’t share his warped opinion of the situation.

    • Brooklyn Auker permalink
      March 21, 2013 5:44 pm

      James shared that G+ post with over 900 people. 900 people. I don’t know why he or anybody else would think it’s private. Show’s the level of intelligence of people in this hobby.

      • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
        March 21, 2013 5:47 pm

        Wow..900 people? Sounds like the serial killer who does his best to get caught.. Stop me before I scam again!!!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 21, 2013 7:14 pm

        If Mistwell loves JaMal so much maybe he should change his forum avatar to him and JaMal giving a hug to one another instead of his sister.

    • The Fire Giant That Killed Black Dougal permalink
      March 21, 2013 6:26 pm

      Mistwell is such a tool. If you value privacy, don’t post your sob story on the damned Intrawebs!

      Also the mere fact that idiot is stupid enough to argue about JaMal’s precious privacy on a fucking forum board is the very definition on irony.

  56. March 21, 2013 5:19 pm

    Somebody used the search term “mommy piss my mouth” to find me today, and I think that’s pretty nice with Mothers Day not too far away…

    • Timothy permalink
      March 21, 2013 6:11 pm

      Isn’t that an illustration from Mines of Khumar?

  57. Adventurer Conqueror Quim permalink
    March 21, 2013 6:07 pm

    Autarch should just publish Dwimmercock and call it their own and dare that thieving little prick to sue. They could call it Dwimmerdungeon Lord, after all putting your own title on someone else’s game and publishing it is kind of what the OSR is so JaMal would be a hypocrite to object

    • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
      March 21, 2013 7:20 pm

      Hear, hear! A brilliant plan, this one. I wish I had thought of it.

      Mr. Allison is playing the role of the duped victim brilliantly. So far, he’s put out a lot of propaganda to the effect that he has made bad business mistakes on this. His problem is that he’s taken on the role of a businessman. And the mistake that he made was HUGE. In this venture, he was the businessman and Mr. Maliszewski was the talent. WHO THE FUCK LETS THE TALENT HANDLE THE MONEY??!!!! Mr. Maliszewski flaked out on Minor Gods. Hell, he flaked out on his online games way back in 2010. You would think that somebody would have thought to take note of that….

      If Mr. Allison wants to operate a business that lasts, he needs to do the responsible thing and get the product out. If he wants to pretend to be Gary Gygax, then he’s well on his way of realizing his fantasy–and Dwimmermount will soon be his own little SPI.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 21, 2013 7:45 pm

        With all this talk of SPI and Gary Gygax-ism I wonder where Gene Weigel is to give us guidance from someone who was there?

      • Timothy permalink
        March 21, 2013 8:08 pm

        Funny you mention the failed dumbermount play-by-post, Mister Fuck. The final post in those threads is Tavis asking for other players to provide their iconic memories of the campaign.

        Not one response.

        Too god damn funny.

        Mister Manboobs, surely you are aware that Herr Weigel came up with the moniker SPI.

      • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
        March 21, 2013 8:23 pm

        Wait… we must be fair. His last claim was that he both knows and does not know what the hell he’s talking about. He’s the epistemic Schrodinger’s cat of classic RPG punditry! If Mr. Raggi wanted to truly make something scary and weird, he’d record a video of Mr. Weigel’s next brain scan. We’d all be pissing in out pants upon seeing horror show….

      • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
        March 21, 2013 8:46 pm

        Good job Timmy! I never bothered to look. WOW!!! So Mr. Allison knew Mr. Maliszewski flaked out on a game, and he still gave him the money and said “run with it.”

        Either Mr. Allison was profoundly stupid or he’s in on the scam. Now the real question is… Which conclusion puts him in the best light?

        Now for a little OSR eschatology: Whenever two or more gather in the presence of Maliszewski or Allison, there will be Flavor Aid. DO NOT DRINK!

  58. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    March 21, 2013 7:43 pm

    Yep, Flimmy Jimmy Scim Scam is riding off into the sunset with an eager beaver grin on his face and only taking those that won’t call him to task for being a deadbeat, worthless writer with him. It won’t be too long before he starts blogging again and pointedly ignoring any mention of $48,000 or dwimmermount. Tavis should totally just write the fucking module himself and dare Flimmy Jimmy to get off his ass to try and sue. Funny that folks would champion this jackass even as he gives them the proverbial middle finger.

  59. Timothy permalink
    March 21, 2013 8:14 pm

    Our boy Pissedwell is on fire tonight:

    “You know, people bash RPG players as Asperger-ridden social misfits. And I always defend RPG’ers (being one myself) as not fitting that stereotype at all. But this thread right here proves the stereotype – full of entitled, self-absorbed, socially mal-adjusted little shits who don’t comprehend the difference between right and wrong, and who have literally only matured to the point where they think someone doing something bad makes it OK for you to do something bad back. You guys actually don’t see the wrong in posting a private message – it’s not that you disagree based on an analysis of both sides, you actually don’t comprehend the other aside and don’t understand why someone would see it as a wrong. The depth of your morality ends at “he did something bad so I don’t feel sorry for him when something is done bad back”. ”

    Our god is a kind god, if a bit mischevious, that he provideth us with such rich soil.

    Safe to say our hero has no working definiton of the term ‘irony’.

    This guy is like Pat Pulling with Bigby’s Righteous Mini-Dildo affixed with a Permanancy spell.

    • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
      March 21, 2013 9:41 pm

      Well, Good God Magnum!!! Where was this guy when Martin Siegel, Michael Milken and Ivan Boesky needed him?! DEFINITELY need to keep this guy from the Flavor Aid.

      Remember boys and girls (wait… who am I kidding)–the Argumentum Ad Misericordiam was not invoked until several months after the due date. Let us play the tragedy out.

      BACKER: “I want my atavistic megadungeon now!”
      ALLISON: “I can’t. I let the other guy secure all the rights to the intellectual work product. Oops….”
      MALISZEWSKI:
      WHITE KNIGHT: “Leave James ALOOOOOONE…. Don’t you know he’s grieving?!”
      BACKER: “Then can I have my money back?”
      ALLISON: “Well… uh… I gave it all to the other guy. Even the profits I anticipated receiving for my labor.”
      MALISZEWSKI:
      WHITE KNIGHT: “You greedy bastard!!! How dare you ask for your money back! Give him time! He’s an ARTIST!”
      BACKER: “. . .”
      ALLISON: “Can I give you credit for some product that you already have and/or didn’t ask for?”
      WHITE KNIGHT: “Thank ye, sirrah… Ye gads! Scoundrels! How dare ye publish yon pitiful artist’s private internet message to his 900 plus adoring fans. He must abscond! And he hath need to do so privately!”
      BACKER: “What…?”
      WHITE KNIGHT: “Shut up! You should kiss his arse ere he runs off with your money. For you are OSR, and he is your prophet.”
      BACKER: “I left fourth edition for this?”
      WHITE KNIGHT: “Blasphemy! For that thou shall henceforth be apportioned no lube!”
      BACKER: “But…”
      WHITE KNIGHT: “NEIN!!! VERBOTEN!!! ES IST VERBOTEN!!!”

      Thank you. Now I’ll be at the door with hat in hand at closing. I need enough cab fare to get me across town.

      Pretentious Asperger-ridden Social Misfit, Esq.

  60. Zarathustra permalink
    March 21, 2013 11:11 pm

    Are there sci-fi gaming /blogging/ G+ circles like there are for OSR?

    If so that’s where he’ll pop up in a few months, in disguise. First mention of Ares magazine, that’s him.

  61. Schadenfreude permalink
    March 22, 2013 5:54 am

    The dirt on JMal keeps piling higher–see Maxwell Luther’s posts and the responses: http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?674090-Kickstarter-So-how-fucked-do-you-guys-think-Dwimmermount-is/page18

    So JMal is massively uninformed and a hypocrite about artists. Let’s leap to his defense!

    • March 22, 2013 7:06 am

      We need a mass psychology expert to explain the shared neurosis.
      This is how cults start.

    • March 22, 2013 7:15 am

      Sounds like Jimmybobbimmy is even lazier than I thought. Man that dude is too fucking lazy to use google to check up on his shit before typing into out onto his blog and subsequent aether.

      Mal accuses the other guy of stealing art, despite his Groganardia logo being just that.
      Not to mention the simple fact that there’s a search feature that allows one near immediate access to more information than any single library holds. Easy it would have been for the laziest of the lazy Dungeon Masters to have simply looked up the art in question, but no.

      The man is an obvious con. All he has proven capable of is some aptitude for nostalgia and an incessant need to regurgitate old material from 30+ years ago. In other words to essentially rip off somebody else’s work.

      Dwimmermount itself a Greyhawk rip off. Not to mention a simple rip off of the sample dungeon in the red box set. The whole point of which is to make it all yourself.

      Jimmy must have realized at some point he could get some cash. I doubt he realized the amount would be as high as it was.

      This man is a hypocrite of high caliber and deserves either a talk radio show or political office as reward. Those who do not do, who do not know how to do , but who are mnore than happy to take the credit due to others to further the amount of gold in their coffers, run the world. Jimmy simply gets the way shit works better than us other fucktards and for that insight he should be commended. After all it was from the lips of Jesus we learn how one should seek riches at the expense of his fellow man.

      • Schadenfredue permalink
        March 25, 2013 9:48 am

        It turns out that Maxwell had misremembered–It wasn’t JMal who made the statement about the art, but James Mishler.

  62. March 22, 2013 7:31 am

    If jimbo didn’t want any chance of a message shared, his hands should have been prevented from typing. I’d suggest he simply go away asap and spend his gains the old fashioned way- on booze and whores!

  63. Timothy permalink
    March 22, 2013 8:15 am

    The thing is, I think having that message reposted is exactly what he wanted. We have all read his “everybody hates me” lines in his blog. With that message reposted (from the 900 “friends” it went to) now is the prime opportunity to climb up on the cross in front of everyone again, and use Betrayal! as an excuse for more sympathy, and maybe to slink away for another few months. And all his buttsniffers will leap to his defense, like Pisssedwell and John r troy have done admirably.

    • March 22, 2013 9:13 am

      Jimmy needs to deliver some real product from the looks of his kickstarter agreement or he would seem to be fucked. Unless he’s willing or can refund, he’s not going to get away with pdf rewards.

      I’m betting we get the half assed version of this train wreck. So in other words the page layout and other production values will make the free shit on Dragonsfoot look like gold.
      He will barely meet his obligations to the faithful.
      I think perhaps what irks Jimmy most is being called out on it.
      His failure is public and he’d prefer to minimize the criticism, or so it seems to me, but really what do I know?

      It just sure seems like the guy is full of shit.
      I know this much, I have literally worked myself sick on projects that were worth less than $48,0000.

  64. March 22, 2013 8:17 am

    Any interesting replies to JaMal’s G+ missive, for him to discover in a few weeks if he perhaps deigns to read them? Out of 900 people, I would hope at least a handful take a giant runny dump on him over there and then scoot ecstatic ass-drags across the floor in delirious exultation.

    • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
      March 22, 2013 9:01 am

      12 replies, all simperingly supportive.

    • jdj permalink
      March 22, 2013 9:45 am

      Simperingly supportive supports JMAL tucking his tail between his legs and hiding away from all the horrible nastiness of reality where people die and other people still live up to their obligations. His fan boys were supportive enough he could have gotten away with telling folks “doing shitty, dwimmermount is gonna be late” months ago and not ignore message from business tie. Of course past projects were “almost done” in the past and never saw the light of day so backers should have had a clue as to what was coming.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 22, 2013 2:08 pm

      I love how these fucksticks knock each other over to get in line to give one last sloppy suckoff to JaMal across the interwebs. In between some of teary eyed cock slobbering farewells a few snippets come out from longtime JaMal watchers. Like this one from K&K(K)A Co-founder and frequent forum flyer T. Foster:
      http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=26000&page=39

      ” Anyone else remember back c. 2001 when James Maliszewski was a prolific freelancer for GURPS:Traveller who one day, pretty much out of the blue, posted on the SJG forum (which is, dumbfoundingly, behind a paywall so I can’t post a link) that he was burned out on Traveller and wasn’t going to be writing anything else for it, and was never seen or heard from again (at least as long as my subscription lasted)? Or how when he suddenly rediscovered old D&D c. 2007 he immediately stopped doing freelance work for White Wolf, WotC, etc. and never mentioned any of it in his D&D blog? Which is to say JM losing interest in/passion for something, dropping it to move on to the next thing, and not looking back has ample precedent. The only difference this time is that he was sitting on $48K of other people’s money when he lost interest, complicating his ability to make the clean break he presumably desires”

      I have to admit that being new to the JaMal hate train that I have some catching up too do in the ongoing JaMal saga but between this and Maxwell Luthers post provided by Schadenfreude above, paints Jimmy in a new light for me. I had thought that JaMal was this limp wristed panty waist who shamefully admitted to gaming in the same way he shamefully confesses to have fornication with his right hand. But now, a new picture emerges where JaMal is this gutless vindictive little jackoff who shoves off from port with little or no warning and leaves behind a shitstorm in his wake. I name this new picture of *ahem* Mr. Maliszewski too Scumbag Jimmy.

      • March 24, 2013 9:34 am

        T.FOSTER’s astute posting has me wondering if Jim might not have a new writing gig or perhaps consulting gig for a gaming company that has taken up his time? Pure speculation here, but what if its less a case of lack of interest and more a case of lack of time? What if the obvious interest in his work by those who are willing to back the guy’s kickstarter to near $50k attracted the interest of say the publisher of D&D?
        Or some other publisher who then hired Jim for his insights into the minds of the fanboys who are so willing to part with their hard earned cash.

  65. March 22, 2013 4:17 pm

    All this time and yet how much cash did Jimmy pocket?
    Are the freelancers getting their fair share? Or are they getting half assed rates?
    Jimmy still walks away with a shit load of unearned cash.
    Though one could say he earned it in terms of scamming his followers.
    How much did he transfer?

  66. The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
    March 22, 2013 4:22 pm

    From Tavis:

    “I’m very happy to announce that this afternoon, James Maliszewski transferred to Autarch the Kickstarter funds necessary for us to complete the Dwimmermount project and pay the artists who haven’t been compensated for their work.”

    And that adds up to @$48,000.

    Right?

    Hello?

    • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
      March 22, 2013 6:00 pm

      My condolences to Mr. Allison. He didn’t say as much, but reading between the lines, it sounds like Mr. Maliszewski is keeping the lion’s share of the profits to compensate for lost credibility… and just ’cause, ya know.

      Can any of us remember the last time we got kicked in the balls repeatedly until we threw up and then crawled away smiling? Mr. Allison knows that for him, that day is today. Now you just have to pry Mr. Maliszewski’s hands from his “precious” so you can transform it into a product.

      I have to say I’m impressed, Mr. Allison. Now go home and relax. Pummel your heels and the arches of your feet… it releases endorphins or something–trust me, it helps with the pain.

  67. Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
    March 22, 2013 5:18 pm

    Hey guys: Remember this?

    Like you I have been a fan of James’ writings from the early days of his blog.
    Like you I have also noticed a visible lack of presence in my Google Reader and blog rolls.

    Well today I would like to offer you something of consolation.
    Please subscribe to my blog, the Other Side. Go ahead and click that “Join this Site” button there on the right. Just scroll down a bit.

    We all know that James has been going through some tough times and is really busy with real life and getting his magnum opus Dwimmermount done. I wish him all the best and hope it lives up to all the hype and beyond.

    I am not asking you to replace Grognardia with the Other Side by any stretch. I am giving you something extra to read in the interim.

    Now why should you read my blog when have been to this point reading his? That is a very good question. Here are some points in favor for my blog.

    – My age and background is very similar to James.
    – We began playing around the same time. We have had similar experiences.
    – He does retrospectives and I have done them as well.
    – He has done Ares and Imagine, I am doing White Dwarf.
    – We both have ties to the early masters of the game. My DM in the later part of 1986-87 was a guy that had learned from Gary himself (his name was also Gary), that year I played D&D straight out of the White Box.
    – We both do reviews of products.
    – We have both published a number of books.
    – We both have written for WotC. Granted James has done more of this than I have.
    – Chicago (where I live) is a lot like Toronto (where James lives).

    In my favor:
    – While I have played a lot of *D&D I have also played tons of other games too.
    – I like every edition of D&D and can find something good in all of them. No edition wars here.
    – I make it a point to post at least once a day, some days twice.
    – I read a lot of blogs so I know what is going on in that realm and I am friends with a lot of designers and freelancers.
    – I write about more games. Granted I have a few I really like, but I have a few more that I have never mentioned in the queue ready to go.
    – I actually liked Ratatouille. (ok that one might be a low blow).
    – I give stuff away! Well, it has been a while, but I should find something to give away in concert with this. Though I do provide a Downloads area of some free stuff.
    – Kurt Wiegel at Game Geeks has only reviewed two games more than once. One of those was mine.

    So until he comes back, give the Other Side a try.

    Like the great sage Stephen Stills once said:

    Don’t be angry – don’t be sad
    Don’t sit crying over good times you’ve had

    And if you can’t be with the one you love honey
    Love the one you’re with

    If this sounds like a thinly veiled attempt to gain more followers then I failed. I was looking for a more heavy handed one. 😉

    This guy is a legend to me. And I know that isn’t saying much because I’m just the new Kowakian Monkey Lizard on the blog, but JUST SOAK IT IN GUYS. You just know he wants to be the anointed one. And now this little gem of a plea for rites of succession just has the patina of exposition that makes a guy just want to weep tears gratitude that while Mr. Maliszewski sails off to his own private Valinor, there will still be tons of Maliphiles to lampoon.

    It’s too bad this guy only has the one gaffe to his name–and it was just pathetic at the time it was written. But then read Mr. Maliszewski’s final farewell, and then this. Then retire back to each revelation one by one.

    “I want to be James Maliszewski: Prophet of patently derivative RPGs community and Kickstarter project mogul” becomes

    “I want to be James Maliszewski: flaky writer-guy” becomes

    “I want to be James Maliszewski: mild sociopath with ability to reframe existence as epic career victim”

    Unfortunately, he’s denied his title in the comments section of his blog in much the same way that the Skeksis Chamberlain is shut down in the Dark Crystal.

    So c’mon guys… give generously! After all, it’s pretty clear that at one time he would do anything for publicity.

    You might find lampooning this guy hard to do. If it helps, close your eyes really tight and pretend he has some shame.

    Wait… never mind. I just lost interest.

    • March 22, 2013 6:22 pm

      Oh you verbose fuck! I lose interest after the money shot too.

      While I think the YDIS “community” already deflated Timmy “Menstrual Sorcery” Brennan’s abortive [mea fucking culpa if any pro-life game pros still exist] attempt to become the new pope, he might be the one who stays in the wicker man as we sing our fucking rustic anthem and the pigs squeal, maybe not.

      SUMER IS ICUMEN IN! LHUDDE SING CUCCU!

      • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
        March 22, 2013 11:05 pm

        HA!!! CUCCU! CUCCU!

        Timmy in the wicker man? I bid ten subscribers to his blog. Though I have the means to produce only zero.

        But would the wicker man be so inspired as to catch flame whilst he resides therein? Dare I say it?…. Even the fire would cry out “Not tonight.”

  68. Timothy permalink
    March 22, 2013 5:56 pm

    Who do we want to see get hired by Autarch to finish the draft and add some details to the manuscript? Alexis can add Dampness and Mold tables, Faggs could add women shooting black rainbows from their woo-woos, Geoffie could get confused by the King in Yellow and gutcheck to Lovecraft instead, Zak could add stainage and some sub-Greg Bell art, and Conley could edit.

    Vargr1105 could write the ad copy.

    • Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
      March 22, 2013 6:26 pm

      Raggi? Zak? There are some fantasies you just don’t want to play out with your five guy friends. I think I’m going to have to read this thing just for its notoriety and… well… I’ve got daughters, man.

      I know you intended humor, and it was clever enough… but… ugh! I gotta go drink this one off.

  69. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    March 22, 2013 7:14 pm

    It ain’t really over until the screaming panty waist of a spoiled man-child gives up the IP. Even then, Tavis will have a looooong road ahead when he finds out that Dwimmerdust has more complete work at this point than Flimmy Jimmy’s mega-module.
    I’d wager Flimmy Jimmy will probably be popping his red contact lenses in and donning his fangs and will try to fleece the World of Darkness group with some nostalgia and promise of Mount Dwimmer, the supernatural mega-city supplement.

    12a. In this room… errr… house is a Malkavian. Among the shit smeared floor is 2000 pennies.

    Jimmy is such a stand up guy! Threats loom of legal action and he shits his pants and gives back an undisclosed amount of the $48,000 and OSR neckbeards line up to blow him all over again.

    I still think Dwimmerdust will be finished way before Dwimmermount.

  70. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    March 22, 2013 7:45 pm

    Shout out to Tavis for doing the right thing, even if he still is an amateur hack with no business playing at real business. There was a reason Rogue Games, JaMal’s former business partner, dumped him before Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon came out – they could smell a scam coming when he requested all the Kickstarter money be handed over to him.

  71. Cameron permalink
    March 22, 2013 7:56 pm

    Arneson’s Spectre:

    Dude. Step away from the keyboard. Or put the bottle down. Do it for the children.

  72. jimmy jones permalink
    March 22, 2013 9:59 pm

    Can we say that YDIS has something to do with this? I think we can!

  73. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    March 23, 2013 4:28 am

    IRWS, this win in all you brother. Tavis should sign the money over to you now and let you publish your version instead.

    I said it before and I’ll say it again. If there was no outcry over Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon being late, no YDIS or IRWS, and nothing but love and understanding for JaMal and his situation, Mistwell would have been the one special snowflake asshat calling him out and dragging him over the coals because that’s what that fucking cunt with Asperger’s Syndrome does.

  74. Adventurer Conqueror Quim permalink
    March 23, 2013 4:43 am

    I’d like to know exactly how muxh of the money Jamal returned, i.e. how much he trousered for doing fuck all. One positive thing emerges – Dwimmermount might be slightly less shitty now someone else is doing it which iss nice. BUT you can be sure the outpourings of butt tongueing man love from his sycophants willl be the emotional crutch jamal needs to return to the web.

  75. March 23, 2013 4:54 am

    Funny thing, as far as I could tell and I may be wrong about this, but…
    Is it not correct that Jimbo himself is obligated to complete the kick started project and not someone else?

    I got that idea from this website so I don’t know if its real or not

    http://www.kickstarter.com/help/faq/kickstarter+basics?ref=nav

    Also it seems to me that Jimmy not competing his megadungeon opus is akin to someone else completing work on say Gygax’s unfinished megadunegon….or you know some else coming up with what Gygax would have done for second ed….

    shit ground already covered… guess this is what we should expect from the OSR.

    Well in any case I know I don’t want shit not written by Gygax. Nor would I want a Dwimmermount not written by Jim were I a fan of his. Its like listening to the New Led Zeppelin album but it ain’t the same band and the songs are written by different people.

  76. March 23, 2013 6:20 am

    If by Kickstarter’s own website, the creator is responsible for producing and delivering the rewards, then couldn’t backers still cry foul and get a refund?

    The resulting work is not going to even be Jimmy Mal’s true half assed emptied room dungeon anyway…so seems to me more reason to demand a refund!

  77. Lord of the Things permalink
    March 24, 2013 5:48 am

    Should women be allowed dress themselves?

  78. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 24, 2013 3:28 pm

    Though Jamals harrowing escape from the blOwSR is well chronicled here, YDIS needs to make a new post on it. A victory lap for runnin’ that squirrly varmint out of Dodge.

    I for sure hope Mr. Suck isn’t like Sherlock, who is lost emotionally and intellectually when Moriarty died. Spending his days laying in a drawing room shooting up and drinking absinth, remembering the good ol’ days when Jimmy Geekface would peer through old toilet seats in the park
    bidding passing couples and old folk to shit on his face.

    “…Memory
    All alone in the moonlight
    I can smile at the old days
    I was beautiful then
    I remember the time I knew what happiness was
    Let the memory live again…”

  79. UNCLEBARBUNCLE permalink
    March 25, 2013 6:25 pm

    CANDI WIPES TH BLOOD OF GIANT HAMSTER OFF +1 S SWORD AN HEADS DOWN CORRDOOR NORTH AWAY FROM THE 12 HD FLAMES SALMANDER AN COMES TO A LOCKED DOOR BEATS IT DOWN AN ENTERS. A BLACK BOX 12X12 SITS ON A PEDSTALL IN TH MIDDLE OF ROOM 30 FEETSX30 FEETS

  80. UNCLEBARBUNCLE permalink
    March 25, 2013 6:26 pm

    CANDI WIPES TH BLOOD OF GIANT HAMSTER OFF +1 S SWORD AN HEADS DOWN CORRDOOR NORTH AWAY FROM THE 12 HD FLAMES SALMANDER AN COMES TO A LOCKED DOOR BEATS IT DOWN AN ENTERS. A BLACK BOX 12X12 SITS ON A PEDSTALL IN TH MIDDLE OF ROOM 30 FEETSX30 FEETS 2

  81. UNCLEBARBUNCLE permalink
    March 25, 2013 7:24 pm

    TESTES

  82. Mike Jamison "Pretentious Fuck" permalink
    March 26, 2013 8:59 am

    Can someone send Alexis over to rescue this poor maiden?

    http://ode2bd.blogspot.com/2013/03/hex-stocking-density.html#comment-form

    I smell romance….

  83. My Dick Your Ass permalink
    April 2, 2013 12:22 pm

    If you fuckers think I’ll read all these fucking commentaries you are out of your fucking minds.

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