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YDIS job board — copy editor wanted

February 16, 2013

Bloodymage, I can’t quit you! Someone tell Mishler his troubles are over:

You *might* be able to negotiate for 20 points OR a $6 payout, but not both: Bloodymage drives a hard bargain!

You *might* be able to negotiate for 20 points OR a $6 payout, but not both: Bloodymage drives a hard bargain!

Good on ya BM for not giving up the dream! Maybe Jamal could subcontract Polyhedron to handle Dwindlemount? Brave Halfling, don’t close up the shop: let Poly run fulfillment for you! There’s incredible growth ongoing in pencil & paper gaming, just like oil shale — a $1000 investment is an incredible bargain to get in on the gold rush!!!

581 Comments leave one →
  1. Scott permalink
    February 16, 2013 8:20 am

    OK, that makes it official, Bloodymage (IF THAT IS HIS REAL NAME) is next-leveling everyone because there’s no way he can be serious about asking people to pay him $1000 to work for him. Well-played, sir.

  2. Chris permalink
    February 16, 2013 8:42 am

    WTH did I just read? Is this one of those instances where editing the advert to make sense is step 1 of the application process?

  3. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    February 16, 2013 8:46 am

    This is the new Republican economy Marco “Bubbaloo!” El Rubio was hinting at last Tuesday – you pay us to work for us!

  4. Dumb Frost Doom permalink
    February 16, 2013 8:49 am

    This is one of those instances where anyone who applies for the job is going to be too stupid to do the actual work.

  5. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    February 16, 2013 8:51 am

    At least Polyhedron Games dot com still gets blocked in up-to-date web browsers as an attack page so anyone retarded enough to even consider this just might be able to put two and two together on the scam-o-meter…

  6. February 16, 2013 10:15 am

    Who thinks we should all chip in and get Gene and Kent on staff at that upcoming company. Hell, we can kickstarter it.

    • February 16, 2013 11:14 am

      If I had time I would totally buy the three slots and use my suddenly unassailable voting majority to raise the black flag and turn it into a kind of kickstarter pirate ship, taking whatever the existing members have already invested with me on our little cruise to hell.

      • February 16, 2013 12:49 pm

        To be honest, if I had the time as well, it would be a hoot to be in charge.

      • February 16, 2013 2:53 pm

        Perversely enough the YDIS brane trust could probably swing it as a collective and then run it as a KS chop shop. (Fuck if I know what that entails yet but it sounds cool and I bet there’s money in it.)

        Might actually turn out to be the best thing BM ever did, even if he’d scream along the way.

      • February 16, 2013 5:30 pm

        Can you imagine us at Gary Con?

      • February 17, 2013 1:27 pm

        Maybe YDIS (an operating subsidiary of Polyamory Games LLC) should sponsor a float or whatever the fuck they do at Gary Con, send a stripper. Must be a few out-of-work actors looking to “man the booth” for a day or two.

      • February 17, 2013 5:17 pm

        Even for a stripper, Gary Con is not right. Shit is one step away from taking part in a donkey show in Tijuana.

      • February 17, 2013 7:53 pm

        Yeah, we should do the right thing by the working girls. Isn’t there like a local fetish hotline we could alert to the influx of chubby chaser bait? Thinking Yul Brenner in drag in “The Magic Christian,” times about 30.

        Oh HEY breaking, Gygax game compound destroyed, no insurance or job prospects, call for donations:

        What’s with this hobby lately?

      • February 18, 2013 3:06 am

        @Shiz. You ask, “What’s with this hobby lately?”

        THe answer is very simple. You are seeing the effects of all these years of the baby men not having to grow up, and not having to have responsibilities, finally come face to face with the cold hard truth that they are nothing. They have wasted their lives playing games.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 16, 2013 11:21 am

      Best team up since Gilbert and Sullivan ever! Both Kent’s zany ideas and Gene’s wild and hip observations from a lifetime of prison rape and AD&D gaming would make a great addition too any up and coming gaming company needing flabby titted talent!

  7. Chainsaw permalink
    February 16, 2013 10:29 am

    Love it, the stuff of legend right here.

  8. February 16, 2013 11:22 am

    The implied division of labor here is fucking chilling. We got an idea guy and someone who can draw maps, the next logical top-level hire is three proofreaders and then the dollars pour in? OTOH ideal for Mishler’s skill set but he already played the “spend $1000 for your chance to win $5” card in 2008-10.

    • GeneWeigel permalink
      February 16, 2013 11:58 am

      Well like I said prison time is nothing the Weig ever saw but I guarantee some of you well-shaved LARPing sons of bitches been on some “enclosed freestyle rpging”, that’s faw shaw!!! Heeee-yick-yick-yick!! Sorry, I slid into role playing to make you feel at home… -eye stabs-

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 16, 2013 12:13 pm

        Fuckin’ what? You been watching too much Fox News today Gene? Or is your medicare prescriptions not come in yet?
        You couldn’t roleplay anyways I hear it’s part of your parole conditions for your early release you jailbait cocksucker.

      • February 16, 2013 5:23 pm

        I can’t tell if you watch Fox news or your straight or your gay but I know one thing absolutely you sure are a Gygax hater. In that case I can’t help you in any way whatsoever then.

        Whats that over there!?!?!?

        Its the Grogonardia guy!

        RRRRRrrrr…. We Want Our Money Back! YEAH!!!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 16, 2013 6:49 pm

        And you are a fuck up as well as wrong. I’m not Robbie Kuntz and you can’t suck my dick. Learn to read and keep some notes fuck face.
        And another thing! Who the hell cares what I think of Gygax. I just hate ignorant fucks like you Gene.

  9. kent permalink
    February 16, 2013 2:14 pm

    Have any of you, eh things, read the Tao of D&D’s novel? Read it and write reviews so that I can read them.

    • February 16, 2013 3:05 pm

      Not going to float that hobo a double sawbuck unless he’s fighting Mishler for it and wins. The preview is uneven. He completely blows a promising Beagle-style wind-up on an embarrassingly lame “Murphy’s Law hyuck hyuck” wink, picks up again with serviceable but occasionally awkward “prose stylings,” fakes into mock Palahniuk territory with a few gags (?) lifted from the Scream series and then we’re off into breathless “I’m With the Band” by Pamela Des Barres. And so on. Pick a fucking key and stick with it for ten pages before you modulate. You are not Robert Fucking Fripp.

    • Scott permalink
      February 16, 2013 5:15 pm

      God, no

    • kent permalink
      February 16, 2013 6:37 pm

      Tao has big male balls to publish a mainstream novel. Reading a few pages of the preview two things strike me. I see how important book reviews are in this case because it is easy to stop reading without knowing anything about the book and yet without a sense of curiosity or loss. A review of an entire book identifies landmarks and features the scrutiny of which allows for a fair appraisal. In the absence of a review a novel has to hook you in in the first few pages. Sadly, not this time. The second thing that strikes me is how skilled ordinary writers of fiction like say Stephen King really are. Fiction completely exposes writers.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 16, 2013 7:39 pm

        You should just let your talking poop chute Kent’s Rectum speak for you, Paul.

  10. Grifty McGrifterson permalink
    February 16, 2013 6:17 pm

    WTF….. Every time I think the OSR has completely lost its collective shit, you come along with another example of Grognard shark jumping. I just read that job posting out loud to my wife who summed it up with: what kind of a fucking idiot wrote that?
    Thanks ydis for another excellent post!

    • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
      February 16, 2013 7:05 pm

      My dog was also nearby and took a shit eerily soon after reading it aloud. Coincidence? You be the judge!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 16, 2013 7:24 pm

        If your dog read it aloud, that would make him smarter than anyone who actually applies for the job.

      • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
        February 16, 2013 8:38 pm

        Maybe I’ll have him apply! With that extra 19% quarterly income he might be able to make that 1000 dollars back within his lifetime of 12-16 years! Cha-Ching!!!

  11. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    February 16, 2013 6:34 pm

    BM’s avatar is truly haunting, yet has me somewhat baffled. What exactly is a “bloodymage”? Is the depicted woman in BM’s avatar a bloodymage? Does she practice some form of menstrual blood magic? Are tampons a required material component for her spells? Does the insertion of the tampon into her cootch count as a somatic component? And what about verbal components – psychotic bitching and moaning typical of women when they are on the rag? And can I buy a bloodymage tampon magic sourcebook from YE OLDE SHOPPE? If I chip in $1K to join BM’s LLC, can *I* write the Complete Guide to Tampon Magic? Maybe I should pitch that in my application? Can I submit some cunt blood spells as my writing sample?

    • Francie permalink
      February 17, 2013 1:10 pm

      Wow. Have you ever killed and eaten any women you fucking weird cunt?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 17, 2013 4:22 pm

        Lighten up, Frances.

      • Francie permalink
        February 18, 2013 2:48 am

        Hey Arneson’s Spectre, Sorry man, I meant that in comment in complete jest. Maybe you are the one who should chill out a bit, you mentally disturbed freak you! LOL!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 18, 2013 12:15 pm

        Geez Francie you are supposed to be helping people here not demonizing them. FUCK!

  12. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    February 16, 2013 7:25 pm

    You too can have your spinal cord snapped in half… Or invest $1000 in a failed OSR product farting contest to help BM continue to impotently flap his arms around like a chicken and fail to produce a product that is even in a speed bump in roleplayer’s attention spans. I can only imagine the dim witted sucker that would throw BM money to possibly have the chance that BM would get access to steal said dope’s potentially decent product. Double profit!

  13. kent permalink
    February 16, 2013 8:09 pm

    Am I the only one who thinks Arneson’s Spectre is genuinely psychotic? I mean a really sick fuck? Am I the only one who sees this?

    Whenever ydis wallows in purely malicious humourless shit he’s at the centre with captain kirk halfwit.

    He’s like this guy who stumbles into a Halloween party and appears superficially to belong but if you look closely the faeces, semen and blood smeared on his clothes and face and hands are real.

    Go back to your psychiatrist you sick fuck.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 16, 2013 9:21 pm

      Kent used to call us cowards hiding behind anonymous screen names until we outed him as Paul Barry, hiding behind the anonymous screen name Kent. See Paul’s entry in the One Page Suckdungeon contest and where the link leads:

      Paul Barry is the real name of YDIS’s resident Irish queer behind that great pseudointellectual endeavor we have all grown to love, Some Queen Kent shitblog.

      Yes, Kent is really Paul Barry, author of “I Was Once Queen Queer”, a one page suckdungeon that makes the usual blOwSR fodder celebrated here at YDIS look like it was written by Joyce and Wilde.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 16, 2013 9:42 pm

        Fair is fair, Kunt. I’ll give you some clues to out me. I’m an American heterosexual white male raised Lutheran. I am an emergency room physician. I first played D&D back in 1982 at the age of 10. I now live in the Ivy League college town where I did my undergraduate studies. I’ve always been an active Birthright and Planescape fan on the Internet. I have had several accounts permabanned from Big Purple Dildo and Enworld. That should be enough to get you started.

    • kent permalink
      February 16, 2013 11:01 pm

      You are only one of two people, CKDB is the other, that I have encountered online in this community in three years who is mentally ill.

      I use a consistent pseudonym so that I can be recognized by it across forums and blogs and can be called on what I say.

      You are an anonymous coward whose only consistency is that you are psychotically vicious no matter what or whom you are discussing. You think I want to know your Christian name, your job? lol. Ive read your comments. I know you.

      YDIS is the only place you could flourish because Chris Robert is spineless and lost control of the tone at YDIS a long time ago. He doesn’t know how to handle you because you are mentally ill and because he has decided to present his lazy incomprehension of the substance of the comments at YDIS as ‘freedom of speech’ or something important like that.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 17, 2013 6:03 am

        Or you could just use consistently, you know, Paul Barry.

        And if CKDB and I are the only nutters you think you’ve found in this community, you really aren’t trying hard enough.

        Unfortunately, I have seen your kind far too often in this community. Despite your pretensions to the contrary, you are not very bright, Paul, or witty, although you have clearly convinced yourself that you are clever. You so desperately want to be in on the joke wherever you go in the community (YDIS, theRPGsite), but you always fail, so you tell yourself (and try to convince others) that you are above the stinking masses who reject you. But at best, you are a pseudointellectual, another Alexis.

        And despite my Asperger jokes at the expense of the blOwSR fatbeards, You and Mistwell are probably the only true Aspies I have ever encountered in this community.

        My first name is Brian, crazy like a Fox. M.D.

      • February 17, 2013 6:17 am

        I don’t think Mistwell is a Aspie. I think he sees him self as a white knight intellectual who thinks he is too cool for the hobby. You challenge him he cannot process that because you know he’s touched a girl.

      • Aos permalink
        February 17, 2013 7:43 am

        You have a much more liberal definition of ‘girl’ than I, scissors.

      • February 17, 2013 8:34 am

        Well in this hobby it is hard to tell the difference between a man, or ugly woman.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 17, 2013 9:06 am

        Kent, you and Gene are almost one and the same. You dumbasses both come to YDIS to participate in the circle jerk and you pull out your pricks and start to beat off and proclaim yourselves the biggest dicks in the circle. When everyone laughs at your man clits, Gene carries on by stroking himself while thinking about Gygax or mumbles some shit about backpacks, Mountain Dew and soups of the day. But you, Kent, you little bitch, you wail and cry and try and pretend you never came here to jerk off and try to piss on as many as you can while on your way out.
        There has never been any control on YDIS, that’s why you come here. While you enjoy pissing on other people you seem upset when someone does the same to you. Learn to grow some thick skin or find another shtick fuckwad.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 17, 2013 4:07 pm

        I have to disagree, IRWS. Mistwell is pretty much text book Asperger’s Syndrome. Kent is, admittedly, probably not. He’s… something else. At least for his sake The Gay isn’t listed as a mental disorder anymore in the DSM-IV.

      • February 17, 2013 5:16 pm

        @Arneson’s Spectre. Here’s is something you never see on, RPGSite, or the OSR crowd’s haunts — I was wrong.

        Shit that felt good. The more I thought about it today, the more I realize you were right about Mistwell. So there you go. I was wrong, and I stand corrected.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 17, 2013 8:03 pm

        IRWS, the shit you post is hilarious and makes coming here everyday worth the effort. Thanks for all the laughs, man!

      • February 18, 2013 3:11 am

        Just remember to vote for my blog next years for an Ennie! 🙂

  14. February 16, 2013 8:49 pm

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    • February 16, 2013 10:06 pm

      Welcome to YDIS, Tasha — your interests are remarkably diverse! Not often we get a human female around here, I may pass out from intoxication of inhaling all the lovely estrogen!

    • February 17, 2013 6:14 am

      Can you buy so something so YDIS can keep the lights on?

    • Scott permalink
      February 17, 2013 11:35 am

      “old porn home made blue tick coon dogs pokemon may naked pics”

      Go on ….

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      February 17, 2013 3:16 pm

      Tasha, are you anywhere near the Tri Cities area? If so, we’re trying to get a bunch of girls over for some D&Din’next weekend. We’re going to have beer and I’m making “mystery meat” meatballs in the shape of the classic, product identity-protected creatures called Beholders. Please come in casual Friday office attire. We might take a couple of photos for our game club scrapbook, but we promise not to post them online or anything like that.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 17, 2013 4:27 pm

      Tasha, I will gladly white knight for you here at YDIS like Alan Alda in white satin because maybe then, someday, I will get to touch your boobies. But I won’t tell anyone at Dragonsfoot I promise.

  15. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    February 16, 2013 9:30 pm

    LOL Paul Dingleberry.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 16, 2013 9:44 pm

      I know, right? LOL!

  16. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    February 16, 2013 10:11 pm

    I’d say Arneson’s Spectre is is pretty well adjusted and wear his humor on his sleeve rather than the dysfunctional fatbeards that get oh so upset by YDIS. Those fatbeards that clutch at their purses and can debate throughout a month on whether or not a +1 longsword can unbalance an entire campaign. God only knows how they’d feel about the appearance of an Apparatus of Kwalish or how they’d end their game if a player got a fucking Rod of Lordly Might. Raggi’s a classical example of a Dungeon Master that wouldn’t fucking dare let his players have any kind of edge cause that Sword +1/+2 vs dickheaded DM’s might throw his torture of the players off as they might well have a chance to fucking BURY his undead DM PC err… NPC. You just know Raggi spent many teenaged nights crying into his pillow cause his DM wouldn’t let him play a Githyanki Anti-paladin.
    Honestly, I don’t think Arneson’s Spectre has a basement full of shallowly buried corpses, I can’t say the same about a lot of the other OSR ‘luminaries’.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 17, 2013 6:12 am

      I must confess, your YDIS screen name inspired my own, good sir. You get it. YDIS is the only online outlet where you can point at all the blOwSR fatbeard emperors and tell them that they are indeed in their underwear without being heavily regulated by dysfunctional moderators (Big Purple Dildo, Dragonsfart, Ennworld) or drowned out by the circle jerk praise from the durp de derps that lap up the feces the OSR is shitting out in their faces.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 17, 2013 9:17 am

      Raggi is a control freak of the worst kind. Playing D&D with him must be like having lunch with John Wayne Gacy.
      The problem is that he would consider that a compliment.
      Creepy fat fuck.

    • GenghisDon permalink
      February 17, 2013 6:39 pm

      I can’t say I agree on Arneson’s Spectre, his over the top homophobia forces me to place him in the same camp as the KKK, Nazi’s, etc. Vicious bigots just aren’t funny, or cool. Ever.

      • Zarathustra permalink
        February 17, 2013 7:07 pm

        Yeah i don’t get it. If Kent is really gay, who gives a shit? If he’s not, then you need to think up some more pointed insults. He’s usually an annoying kunt with an unreadable blog with it’s comments disabled so it’s not like he’s a hard target.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 17, 2013 7:51 pm

        You guys really don’t get it, how YDIS works, do you? It’s parody. Satire. A performance. I was playing the part of Stefan Poag, of Rob Kuntz, of GOPagan, and all the other mental right wing midgets of the OSR. Of course I don’t believe in any of that homophobic, sexist or racist shit. Arneson’s Spectre was merely a parody of those asshats. It’s not even that deep or nuanced, so your failure to comprehend just adds to our kicks & giggles.

        But alas, that show has come to an end and the curtain must come down.

        Reality? I voted for Obama twice, supported gay marriage in my state, defended and fought for universal health care (and I’m a physician, mind you), and have been actively involved in working for a ban on fracking in my state.

        YDIS is just an outlet for my sophomoric side. YDIS never took itself seriously, and that’s why it’s fun. You don’t have to take yourself seriously, and can make fun of those that take themselves way too seriously. If you want pointless seriousness, follow the OSR turdosphere.

        Kent is still a worthless cunt though. He is no different than JaMal, Poag, Raggi, Kuntz, any of them. It’s funny because Kent doesn’t even realize that.

        And with this post, Arneson’s Spectre is now retired. Perhaps I will return in another incarnation, perhaps not. I shall continue to read and follow, because YDIS never fails to give me a good laugh. There’s a lot of very funny people here in the comments as well who aren’t afraid to lighten up a bit.

        And Kent is kinda gay, isn’t he?

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        February 17, 2013 7:58 pm

        I’d hazard that Kent probably suffers an overdose of homophobia himself and bringing his sexual identity into question seriously makes the vein in his head stand out to near bursting. I could give a rat’s ass less about someone’s sexual identity as long as their thief checks for traps when I tell them to gawd dammit! And they better play a Ferran thief or Yitek tomb robber if we’re doing Talislanta cause there can be only one fucking Thrall in the party and that’s me!!!! I’ll break their neck if they even try to bring in a Jaka Manhunter to the party cause someone has to disarm those damn traps!!!

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        February 17, 2013 9:23 pm

        If everyone retired, Dave, this place would be a ghost town that the self righteous OSR fatbeards would completely dismiss rather than only mostly dismiss with their overinflated egos that are almost as big as their bellies. I call upon your sense of humor to remain active and help remind the intarwebs that D&D in an enjoyable hobby, not the most sirius of biznesses.

      • Francie permalink
        February 18, 2013 2:45 pm

        I enjoy foul rants as much as the next guy, especially learning a particularly filthy turn of phrase (blumpkin anyone). Arneson’s Spectre on the other hand mistakes the relaxed attitude to profanity and abuse around here as a sign of a safehouse for a someone who is basically an utter cunt. Given the choice I’d take a month in a lift with Gene going batshit mad listening to his rollercoaster nutso rabbitting, cos, you know, Gene is actually human in a likable way, rather than even know I lived in the same state as a disconnected fuck like that AS tool. I’m only kidding by the way AS! LOLs!

      • Francie permalink
        February 18, 2013 2:53 pm

        If that psycho dick is actually a “physician” as he keeps by-the-by mentioning, that’s pretty much the funniest damn thing I’ve ever heard. The universe is a hoot. Only kidding! I’m AS is a great guy and everyone loves him for the warm caring person he probably is outside here where he blows off steam as a lovable misogynistic homophobic psychopath.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 18, 2013 5:01 pm

        Apology accepted, Francie. Now will you please BUY SOMETHING so YDIS can keep the lights on?

  17. Dumb Frost Doom permalink
    February 17, 2013 8:17 am

    Here’s a great money shot from Raggi over on G+:

    “This should probably be a blog post but I don’t want this sitting on top of my blog for very long:

    I can’t figure out anything interesting to do with a penis.”

    • Kent's Rectum permalink
      February 17, 2013 8:33 am

      This is Kent’s dream cum true!

    • February 17, 2013 8:38 am

      You see this one”

      “I haven’t asked, but I think the guy that had the murmuring nipples and eel penis (thanks to the Wand of the Weird) might not be too upset at dying.”

      Raggi is a nut

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 17, 2013 9:24 am

      It’s probably not the first time Raggi has had trouble with a penis. Either way we really need to feature Raggi on YDIS in a special way. I’m pretty sure at some point it will be revealed he was a sex offender of some stripe or a serial killer.

      • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
        February 17, 2013 10:20 am

        Nah, I’m sure he’s just one of those unsocialized fatnerds who has a collection of serial killer trading cards because he’s oh-so-edgy, but is essentially only dangerous to a bag of Doritos.

        Then again, maybe he did flee America for a reason.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 17, 2013 1:14 pm

        I always wondered about why he left. Hatred over taxes? Lack of funding for obese fucks who can’t even find employment cleaning urinals? Discontent over various and sundry political actions in the Senate? Moved closer to the Black Metal scene?
        I’m happier knowing that he’s gone in any case. Can you imagine him at Garycon?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 17, 2013 4:20 pm

        Faggi Four moved to socialist Europe to follow (read: stalk) some Charlie Brown Little Red Headed Girl with whom he had become infatuated. Naturally, this unfortunate red headed woman had moved there first in an effort to flee from his unwanted, unnatural (and downright creepy) attention. I would not be surprised if Faggi makes his wife wear a red yarn wig in bed so he can pretend he’s making it with the Wendy’s Hamburger girl.

      • Scott permalink
        February 18, 2013 7:47 am

        The new Wendy’s girl is pretty cute. That is, her estrogen seems both lovely and inhalable.

        (posting because I forgot to check the notification thing)

      • February 18, 2013 9:34 am

        I thought their “iconic cheesecake” or whatever they call her was supposed to be Pippi to reflect faggi’s boner for Scandinavian dommes. Can the new Wendy swing a sword and “lift a cow” with the free hand?

  18. Mordekanian's Magnificient Man Pussy permalink
    February 17, 2013 12:49 pm

    Based on the Matt Taibbi references and the % of East Coast Ivy school boys on this blog I’m going to say that YDIS is closely related to the 3rd string WotC writers at Mule Abides and/or the escapist.

    Which makes the focus on James M. Dumbermountain sensical as it is them blowing off steam anonymously for his failures.

    Don’t let my brilliant and elementary deduction assuage you from continuing though chaps! You guys are fucking hilarious.

    • February 17, 2013 1:33 pm

      No need for conspiracy theories, Dumbermountain went to a “great books” school that pissed away a world-class lacrosse program in the ’30s, which is another way of saying all those guys is fags. (See also: Hampshire.)

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 17, 2013 4:48 pm

        JaMal went to Dartmouth? I know Mike Mearls (of 4e D&D suckedition fame) went to Brown, but I always assume JaMal was the community college commuter type. I went to Big Red (there’s another clue, Kunt).

      • February 17, 2013 7:56 pm

        St. Johns, best known as the naval academy’s “sister school” I shitteth thee notte! Perfectly good degree, you’d think.

      • February 17, 2013 8:03 pm

        PS i doubt kent gives a ritalin fuck about our schools, as “rough-and-tumble” as they are compared to Hogwartz, Brideshead & other poncified hotbeds of the fagging literature. Masters, THEIR wives, and THE friends of College!

      • Francie permalink
        February 18, 2013 3:01 pm

        “I went to Big Red”

        “and I’m a physician, mind you”

        ” I am an emergency room physician”

        ” I now live in the Ivy League college town where I did my undergraduate studies.”

        Did you mention you are an utter fool? WHY THE FUCK do you drop shit like this into your inane posts? Jesus is crying blood that you exist… Crap, I broke my hate needle. Sorry folks I have to get a new one.

  19. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    February 17, 2013 2:05 pm

    Beats the fuck out of me where everyone is from. I write wargaming shit so the only thing at stake for me at YDIS is that the OSR ‘money for copy-pasta’ jerk offs aren’t getting a copper piece from my cod piece. When I got back into D&D and started searching for What’s New it wasn’t Phil and Dixie manning the fort but rather a massive group of fat beards shooting their cum into each others mouths and doing a Kevin Bacon line of, “Thank you, sir, may I have another!!?!!” Dumb, Frost, Doom got all these fucking GLOWING reviews that this was the best module EVAR (but they didn’t want to spoil the plot) so I bought it and (I’ve said this before) it was the fucking Lichway taken through a fun extractor. Anyone that notices the plagiarism in their blog reviews usually covers for Raggi by saying he’s probably too young to have read it. No, he’s just smart enough to have picked a module the old roleplayers are too senile too remember and that the truly younger crowd may have actually missed. I’m about the same age as Arneon’s Spectre and I knew what the Lichway was and I’m probably close to Raggi’s age as well. Although that’s as fucking close to that shit black metal Dungeon Master that I’m going to get.
    The OSR bog-o-sphere failed completely cause it’s just mutual hand-jobbery and none of the jerks can be honest for a second. Some OSR writer with a blog could smear his shit on the wall and most of the bloggers would write about how fantastic and edgy it was. It’d get five stars from everyone’s favorite reviewer. This makes me miss Dungeon magazine all the more as I know most of these modules would have been mailed back with a ‘thanks but no thanks’ letter enclosed in the SASE. Hell, someone name an OSR module that’s good and I’ll buy it so I can torture my players one last time with some fatbeard’s vision of what (A)D&D SHOULD BE *snigger*. I suppose I’d just wreck the fucking thing when Chert the Rogue and Curly Greenleaf the Githyanki bust into that bitch and start carving the fucking place up with vorpal weapons. It’s a game, a niche game, and the OSR is a niche of a niche of a niche so throw fucking +1 swords out like candy floss and let the players have some fucking fun rather than torturing them like Raggi does with his +1 Dagger of the Crusty Penis that gives the character who wields it a generous +1 to hit and damage but the character contracts super penis leprosy and has his junk fall off (lose 1 HP permanently) Note: The Dagger of the Crusty Penis doesn’t effect female genitalia but likewise doesn’t give that generous +1 to hit and damage either cause Fuck YOU!!! That’s why!!111!!!111!one!!!

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 17, 2013 2:16 pm

      Having fun with AD&D??! Heresy! It should all about torture porn and shitting and life coaching and ..and….and…waitafuckin’minit!!
      Who cares what got you to YDIS. You’re here an that’s all that matters. AD&D is a game (yes Gene I just said that). Play, have fun and for gods sake don’t make it into art or a movement. I think you got it right about Raggi, Zak and even JaMal ‘Ghost. If Dungeon was around those assclowns sent in their adventure submissions it would have ended with a call to the police, a censure and a snicker. In that order.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 17, 2013 4:44 pm

      “This makes me miss Dungeon magazine all the more as I know most of these modules would have been mailed back with a ‘thanks but no thanks’ letter enclosed in the SASE.”

      That is an excellent point and right on the money. This whole blOwSR movement is just that, a bowel movement. This is vanity press, from Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon to Dumb Frost Doom, to Zak’s homemade porn catalog to Alexis’s novels. Vanity fucking press, man. Bypassing the middleman – the middleman in this case being any form of editorial review process – is the so-called “power” of the Internet and the digital age that is flushing humanity down the toilet. Now any shit can publish shit, pretend their shit is on the same level as those works that have actually undergone some sort of editorial review, and talk shit about how great their shit (and similar shit of others) really is, without any fear of dissent as they gather to shit on those who call their shit for what it really is: SHIT.

      • GenghisDon permalink
        February 17, 2013 6:52 pm

        Now who’s being pretentious? I can’t be bothered reading OSR crap, and you are probably correct that it’s shit, but so was tons of the stuff TSR published. Editorial review, my ass.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        February 17, 2013 7:30 pm

        For certain there were plenty of turds dropped in the role playing punch bowl during TSR’s tenure of control. But it doesn’t seem the OSR is producing punch these days so much as dropping a deuce in a festering toilet where no one can tell the difference these days.

  20. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    February 17, 2013 6:27 pm

    What, does Gene think D&D is high fucking art? The only thing that maybe makes it art is the dungeon masters and players that bring the game to life at the table. Given, my interpretation of D&D was apparently way off as it appears according to many OSR types that were “there” it supposed to be played like a game of Warhammer Fantasy Battles with the thespian bullshit left in drama class.

    “Thief, check for traps!”
    “My name is Rogandilini…”
    “Whatever, check for traps or else it gets the hose again!!!”
    “I’m sick of taking all the risks and being told to always hide in the shadows and attack with stealth.”
    “Sounds like thief is developing a so called personality. It will check for traps when told to and it will back stab during combat as ordered!”
    “Strewth, I’m backstabbing this oaf as soon as he turns his back on me.”
    “I’m the lead caller and thief will not undermine my authority during the game! Dungeon Master, only take action from thief as they are filtered through me, the lead caller, as the book says!”
    “And I wanted to play a cleric anyways…”
    “It will not undermine the balance of the party through personal desires either!!! Now, Dungeon Master roll the dice for the thief checking for traps.”

    Of course, Gene’s pretty irrelevant these days with his undying love for Gygax. He’s not opening his purse strings for anyone as Gygax is dead so there will never again be a gaming product worth buying. So, basically he doesn’t contribute any financial encouragement to the development of roleplaying and can be written off as a pothole in the street of gaming. Maybe Gene has a whole slew of free suckdungeons he’s uploaded somewhere that I’m missing although I imagine he’d fucking $25.00 lulu anything he might produce for his beloved game. Cause doing it for the love of the game when you can make $50,000 is just ludicrous, right?

    I mean, fuck, I’ve bought games throughout the years, played them… Some worked better than others mechanically and some just didn’t jive with my game mastering style. I fucking love Kult but I can readily admit I’m a crap game master at it. I run a good game of Burning Wheel and players have had fun with the FUDGE expansion game of The Collectors. Paranoia is always a hoot and I like to think I run a fun, frenetic game of Feng Shui. I watch these up and coming roleplaying writers and if I think they’ve got a decent product and more than willing to throw cash their way and buy their product. Unlike Gene who waxes nostalgic while beating his rancid meat over the picture of Loviatar in the Deities and Demigods book, adding nothing to modern roleplaying games.

    D&D is generally the go-to roleplaying game for me but I don’t think it’s the be all, end all of roleplaying. I play 1st edition AD&D simply because I like monks and assassins. The rogue’s gallery of classes just suits me. There’s no “BEST EDITION EVAR ONE TRUE GAME!!!!” with me it’s just what I happen to like. I think a lot of the OSR is just way too uptight whether it be trying to make a few gold pieces off their mediocre work or running their game as sirius bizness rather than the pretendy fucking fun time game that it is supposed to be.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 17, 2013 7:54 pm

      One more and I’m done, just for Gene Weigel: Dave Arneson’s Blackmoor kicks the shit out of Gary Gaygax’s Gayhawk, any day. Plus, Dave always shit when on the pot before he died, unlike Gary who could never finish Castle Greyhawk because he was too busy worrying about money to give a fuck about the fans. At least JaMal is carrying on Gary’s Fail to Deliver legacy.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        February 17, 2013 8:12 pm

        That stings, Dave. We gonna have another slap fight in purgatory again? We’re co-creators, Dave. Besides, your setting was Black and mine was Grey. Can’t we just collaborate beyond the grave and make Whitedockjingoist and REALLY turn the gaming world on its ear?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 17, 2013 8:22 pm

        Gary and Dave made a great game, no argument here. Thank Christ you can buy it again from WotC so these OSR Retroturds can be mercifully flushed.

      • Scott permalink
        February 18, 2013 9:20 am

        I’m definitely not a Gygax fanboy and am way more in tune with Arneson in terms of “milieu aesthetic” or whatever you want to call digging the same kind of thing. If you’re talking about Blackmoor the setting vs. Greyhawk the setting, I agree, although I think Greyhawk has a lot of neat bits and I don’t like the direction Blackmoor went in BECMI and d20 … it seemed cooler as this weird spitwad that you only saw parts of.

        Blackmoor the supplement is a mess, and not in the good way that First Fantasy Campaign is a mess; it’s just a mess.

        I’ve come to like Greyhawk the supplement, although I loathe shit like the griefer items and consider them the death knell for “referees” and the herald of metagaming dick DMs.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 17, 2013 8:10 pm

      Gene is off his meds this week so I’ll throw a bit in for him on this. To Gene, AD&D is THE only game in town. His retarded mind cannot fathom anything with skill checks or in game resolution of a task. Gene thinks his play style that he personally games with is inherent to the AD&D. Too bad he plays AD&D I wish he would have started with Chutes and Ladders instead.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        February 17, 2013 8:21 pm

        But how does he feel about Dangerous Journeys and Lejendary Adventures? I suppose they get a pass as written under duress from TSR ousting him. I’ll confess that neither game engaged my enthusiasm then or now so they both may be a wellspring of roleplaying goodness but the general consensus seemed to be “meh” about both games.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 17, 2013 8:24 pm

        Dangerous Journeys and Lejendary Adventures: proof positive that lightning never hits in the same spot twice.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 17, 2013 8:37 pm

        ‘Ghost he doesn’t like them and thinks that he was hobbled, which too some extant he was, but that said he wasn’t really that creative when he wrote them. As for as the Lejendary Adventures he was very enthusiastic about it but I was a little underwhelmed to be honest.

      • February 18, 2013 3:24 am

        Far be it for me to give Gygax some credit, but I am going to. If you strip away all the crap of Dangerous Journeys (pretty much the entire ruleset) the world he created has some serious cool hooks to it. I really like how his Fairy Realm is a reflection of the real world. I like some of the world building in there. If I was to play Dangerous Journeys I take the world, and run it using a different ruleset.

        Gygax had moments of brilliance. Sadly, they were not often.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 18, 2013 8:37 am

        I don’t hate the old guy either. I just hate his asskissing cultists. Gary did allright as far as I’m concerned. I’m also a bit partial to Greyhawk but not because it was by Gygax or Kuntz but because it was a DIY campaign. Blackmoor has it’s charm as well.

    • February 18, 2013 3:20 am

      The thing that is wrong with this hobby, is that no one remembers why we are part of this hobby–to play games. Period. The secret to enjoyment is to have fun with whatever game you are playing. If you are not having fun, stop playing and play another game. There are so many to choose from, that you are bound to find one you like.

      We have become to damn serious with games, and for that, I blame not only the Forge but the d20 boom. The Forge preached that it was not the game or fun that mattered, but the type of game you played. You deconstruct the mechanics and how the interaction of those mechanics and the actions of the players work. No where in the equation is the concept of fun.

      The d20 boom is to blame because it gave every keyboard jockey with eyes of not having to work, but instead design games, the ability to do so.

      During all of this the fun has been taken out, because fun, in these fucktards mind, has no place in the game.

      • February 18, 2013 6:16 am

        Yay, Blackmoor was the toast of the 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, 00’s and 10’s for RPGs! YAY!

        Come closer for some more rage secrets, there was a another even bigger unsung co-creator of D&D named Ted Nugent who was even better at designing stuff that never made it to print called the Great Kingdom of Nyrond and he really hated Gary Gygax even more with a real lawsuit to counter his inability to work. Ooooh you better stop sucking that Nugent dick already, you guys…er gals… uh…”shaved folks”.

        I know what you’re thinking. B-b-b-b-but Dave’s the prince of fantasy martyrdom!



        It was Nugent. He was the most unsung “game-A-dour of GPR” (As the Nugians call him).

        Just keep watching your cable news they’ll get around to covering every aspect of Nugent eventually.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 18, 2013 9:08 am

        Dave the prince of fantasy martyrdom I thought you nominated yourself for that title last week Gene?
        Oh, right you went for Lord of hairbrained screed writing fucks. My bad.

      • February 18, 2013 10:20 am

        You know when they painfully grasp for cries of “screed” that is teh intarweb’s finest blinkered pig ignorance.



        Shut up, I’m readin the Seventh edition of

        GURPS: CHEAP WHINE / The World of a Guy Posting As Chatdemon’s Manboobs Inability to Make Valid Responses

        Geez wheres the new information? Its all about what some guy named Gene Weigel just wrote.

        Typical unplayable RPG vapid shit!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 18, 2013 11:08 am

        My inability to make valid responses or Gene Weigel’s inability to comprehend clear english? I think you Gene, you shit eating cockpuffer are the one at fault here. Please take your meds.

      • February 18, 2013 11:31 am

        Gene. What in the hell are you talking about?

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 18, 2013 11:42 am

        He mad bro. He mad.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        February 18, 2013 12:32 pm

        Incoherent with rage? I mean I have exactly zero idea what the fuck he’s babbling on about. I suppose it fails to settle in with him that maybe AD&D was a result of a lot of creative people rather than just Gary. I mean when Gary was going solo you got fucking Gord the Rogue. Like many here, I fucking love me some AD&D but I can’t stand people like Gene that just out of hand dismiss all other RPG creators as if they were getting high on noxious fumes from sniffing Gygax’s underwear.

      • February 18, 2013 7:29 pm

        “Exactly zero idea.” Finally… a confession. I still want to know who’s underwear YOU PEOPLE are sniffing so hard to say this shit constantly because frankly I don’t even talk like that so… who is this great underwear huff you’ve been huffing?

        If its the great RPG-Luv-Hug then just don’t answer. I’ll accept its just another gainsay “triumph” with some sex-based comment… AGAIN.

      • February 19, 2013 6:50 am


        It’s not a confession, it’s an admonition. I’m certain your gibberish makes sense to you, but to people of normal neural development it’s ridiculous blather. Please note the number of commenters that don’t understand you. The problem lies with you, not them.

      • February 19, 2013 10:56 am

        Numbers? Speaking of that I’d love to finally see what all those variables represent. You guys don’t seem easy to game with anyway so continuing knowing that is the real blather.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 19, 2013 11:51 am

        Gene, only a cock juggling shitstain like you would claim “triumph” after shitting out those last few incoherent posts. You have not once made anything clear other than you like to sniff underwear, hate any game other than AD&D and love Gary Gygax in an inappropriate way. You got to try harder than that son to achieve a victory score.

      • February 19, 2013 6:25 pm

        You know all about “victories”, I just think your a fucking blast to fuck over all the time. Alright I’ll pull the cheese grater off your balls. Gygax sucks! There? Happy? Now go fuck yourself!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 19, 2013 9:54 pm

        Oh gosh you are the winner here alright. Gene you are treasure trove of OSR comedy. Keep it classy shitbag.

      • February 22, 2013 8:40 am

        I’m not the “OSR”. Thats the problem. I don’t want to go to North Texas RPG con or Gary Con or even say Tim Kask has some great work on the backburner. I’m strictly proto-OSR. Like a caveman in the AD&D cave watching all these guys build up a paper mache replica cave (now a cavern made of various colored, virtual Legos.) I might have incited this shit, with my mindless blathering (LIKE THIS!) on forums about having a renaissance incessantly, but I’m not part of it. I got off early because it was all cut and paste and not fresh thinking. These guys will try to change it to their version but regardless its Gene Weigel versus the OSR always. thats the truth you can bank on. To me the OSR includes ENWorld. Why? Because its where it all started until I dragged it over to Dragonsfoot (when they still had a cascading forum.). They’ll all see it differently but thats the way the OSR is. Mind-numbing existence. There was no “bunker buddy” despite all the hype. I’m pro-gay, pro-abortion, anti-marriage, etc. What bunker is that in? That was all bullshit. I wanted to make a community based game system because Gary Gygax asked me to directly. What happened? Failure to cooperate with this project birthed, what is now known as, the “OSR” with various alternate systems. Troll Lords with C&C, and other author-empowering D20 junk, etc. . Now some obsessed 2E/3E types seen it differently but they were not involved. So your OSR is not my OSR. My OSR is gone. Someday it’ll be back when people get sick of weak product and demand actual game content free of histories, back stories and “hooks”.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 22, 2013 11:58 am

        Oh shit! Gene just sprung a hate leak! Look out everyone he just got enough blood up to his dick and is going tell us where we are all wrong!
        Look, asshat, your proclamations that you’re ‘strictly proto-OSR’ is self deluded fuckery. You are just an OSR fatbeard who likes to claim that you are a breed apart, but in fact you are just the same as the rest of ’em. Keep telling yourself that you are a special snowflake and maybe someone else will believe it too.
        BTW glad too see you are back on your meds.

      • February 22, 2013 8:40 pm

        Heh, if you think that I mean I’m just another “fatbeard” as you call them then give me a creative challenge and I’ll prove you wrong.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 23, 2013 10:15 am

        You cannot at this stage in the game unprove fatbeardness Gene! For Christ’s sake you said you played Cyborg Commando!! Beardiest of fatbeards.
        That said I give you this challenge to prove your gaming and creative ability; Run a 3e game with no dice, a condom and a half empty wine cooler. Post it on Youtube. Make an Old School aerial based mini campaign using the white box OD&D (No supplements and no monster appearing in Tolkien’s works) that is suitable for leveling past level 5 and written in blue sparkly crayon. Draw something that Stephen Poag would draw if he wasn’t obsessed with shitting orcs and baby raping with chiaroscuro shading while hung over from drinking a bottle of Jack. Be prepared to justify your actions.

        Pass these tests three and a fatbeard you will still be but, a fatbeard who got shit done and is not mocked for shit eating cockpuffing buffoonery.

      • February 24, 2013 8:34 pm

        Alright… you’re projecting. I never said I liked or even played CYBORG COMMANDO however I think you’re quite familiar with it and thats all I can say.

        As for the challenge… that parody is a parody of itself!

        On the other comments, I just saw you admitted to liking Birthright and Pathfinder. Wow! Thats a tall fucking order to go around crying “FATBEARD!” What is an afficiando of 2E and 3E called? They’ve got to have some kind of derogatory name by now!

        I didn’t come up with 3TARD by the way but I was blamed for it for a long time. I came up with 2EENY but it didn’t go over so well though, O Elder Mageknight. So… I’m sorry. I wish you could grow a fatbeard so you could fit in with the Steve Jackson doinks, the Palladium doofs, the I.C.E. shitters, the West End creeps, the Chaosium dorks, the Arduin yammerers and all the rest of the elder creeps. I pity that you can’t….so that I can avoid that gathering for the rest of my days…

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 25, 2013 3:02 am

        What? Gene you ignorant slut, you throw Birthright or Pathfinder at me as some sort of insult while you ignore your white knighting of Cyborg Commando in previous posts. Look dipshit, I told your fatbeared ass what game du jour is played in the Chatdemon Lovenest and it’s AD&D 1st edition you beardy fatnecked bastard! You just don’t know how to read sarcasm, that or the meds you are on probably interfere with short term memory retention. Either way, your challenge awaits. Best get busy fatbeard.

      • February 25, 2013 10:24 am

        Yeah, we all play “first edition”…. unfortunately. Wait a minute I thought the Perthfernder guys were the fatbeards! They certainly seemed corpulent at the premiere a few years back. What are they called? “Fat WHAT”?

      • February 25, 2013 10:43 am

        From watching this: I don’t think the problem is being fat and having a beard. What is this? Brain shut off?

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 25, 2013 5:34 pm

        LOL! I will vomit my balls out of my mouth if I have to read about you trying to fumble fuck your way defining what a fatbeard is Gene. You derped it up again sir and to help your short bus riding fatbearded ass out here’ss a linkipoo for you!
        Try and read it and laugh out loud if you find yourself not on this list.

      • February 25, 2013 7:22 pm

        I hate to say it but you totally look like a fat bearded guy from that photo. You need to cut back on the Mountain Dew though. And here I thought you were some overshaved, preppy anti-derp with an Eddie Bauer backpack for walking the mean streets. SHEESH!!!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 25, 2013 9:05 pm

        I was in that photo? Nah, that was my brother Jackie Chatdemon. He likes the ‘Dew. Me? I like a fifth of Mohawk chased with some Pitbull. Seriously shit fuck learn to read sarcasm. SHEESH!!!

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        February 27, 2013 7:38 pm

        The Lejendary Adventures DM book (whatever it was called) had a decent selection of magic items. You read 2nd, 3rd, 4th edition and they just have the same re-hashed magic stuff. A lot of the Lejendary stuff looked like the type of stuff that would have been in 1st Ed DMG 2 or the original 1st Ed DMG if they had more room. I could also add that even F.A.T.A.L. had useful tables on the effects of alcohol on character’s dexterity and such but then you would know I’m a goofball and discount my earlier vaguely intelligent comment.

  21. February 18, 2013 6:00 am

    …and Busty Barbarian Bimbos has funded! It’s “a tribute to the humor and satire of busty fantasy artwork.”

    GOPagan is a backer. You know that if it was “humor and satire” about the historical treatment of witches, he’d be losing his shit.

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
      February 18, 2013 7:02 am

      I guess if this section of roleplayers want to remain virgins their entire lives while living in the basement jacking off to random anime that’s their business. I suppose their mommies put a filter on their intarwebs so they need a roleplaying game to get their jollies off cause they’re too nervous and maladjusted to go down to Ye Olde Porne Shacke and get a magazine. Whatever, the women of gaming can take care of themselves and don’t need any male White Knights to take up their defense while the neckbeareded perma-virgins want to keep RPG’s a boy’s club.

    • Scott permalink
      February 18, 2013 7:53 am

      This seems like the logical extension of dudes playing women they’d like to fuck, lovingly picking out profile avatars and “character portraits,” etc. Playing one’s own fap material = some kind of Xzibit Inception thing and is apparently common (see also, Dragonsfoot).

      • February 18, 2013 8:12 am

        Our Billy wasn’t born a criminal, Clarice. He was made one through years of systematic abuse. Billy hates his own identity, you see, and he thinks that makes him a transsexual. But his pathology is a thousand times more savage and more terrifying.

      • Scott permalink
        February 18, 2013 8:17 am

      • February 18, 2013 8:21 am

        I’d fuck me.

    • February 18, 2013 8:21 am

      On GOPagan, somebody oughta show him this and see which half (third?) of him freaks out worst:

      All the middle-aged crystal-licking divorcees on Facebook are squawking. The nerds probably think it’s cool.

      • The Athiest Scientist permalink
        February 18, 2013 8:37 am

        Here’s another link

        Although, here’s what “real” witches are doing in Africa – hunting down albinos and using their hearts and body parts for magic spells and talismans.

        I’d love to hear GOPagan’s thoughts on his fellow witchy poos in Africa. That will be fucked up on so many levels.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 18, 2013 9:01 am

        GOPagan thinks himself a gamer and practicing wiccan/pagan/transhumanist who is endorsing a political party that will support his world views.Given half a chance, that same political party, Fox News and the religious right would burn him at the stake. He’s even lower on the GOP totem pole than the Log Cabin republicans but probably sends them money. I guess it’s part of the OSR mentality at work.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 18, 2013 9:18 am

        WHA?!??? But but but…. GOPagan and the Log Cabin Republicans told me the GOP was such a large, welcoming tent of diversity!

      • February 18, 2013 9:28 am

        Thanks, Atheist. Yeah, I go to bed and all the panties at Pantheacon are in a twist over that link, then I wake up and it’s gone.

        If “your people” survived every single fucked-up torture device Gary Gygax could invent and give a lich, you would think being called D&D nerds wouldn’t be so awful. It’s extremely revealing of the “higher values” at play. I wonder if Tim “tampon spells” Brennan would chime in.

    • February 19, 2013 9:07 am

      Let me get something straight, this game is fine, but James Desborough is a bad guy?

      Got to love the typical gamer.

      • WTF? permalink
        February 19, 2013 3:52 pm

        No, this game is dumb and James Desborough is a hypocritical asshole. Does that help clear things up?

  22. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    February 18, 2013 9:01 am

    Shameless Promo – I’m running this at Gary Con for the YDIS table:
    Location: Somewhere in the Trolling Hills on the outskirts of the hamlet of Aspergy
    Pre-Gen Characters of Level 3-5 will be provided. Keep your DM PCs from your avatars at home.

    Please shower, shave, put on deodorant, and talc your crotch before you take a seat at my table. Dress code strictly enforced. No crocs or dim-witty saying gamer t-shirts allowed. Clothing should also be washed and fresh that day, including undergarments.
    Female Gamers welcome – please make sure all restraining orders are in place prior to play
    No femmes, no fats, no trannies.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 18, 2013 9:05 am

      No dim-witty gamer t-shirts allowed? Well shit! That counts me out.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 18, 2013 9:11 am

        Don’t worry about it you’re in. The wording is mostly to keep Kent, Alexis, and well, pretty much the rest of Gary Con away from our private YDIS table.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 18, 2013 9:22 am

        Also {SPOILER ALERT!}, the game will start with a band of orcs raping Jesus on the cross while simultaneously eating his intestines (Thanks, Stefan, for the handout pic!), but that’s just to keep JaMal out.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 18, 2013 10:23 am

        {SPOILER ALERT!} The PCs will also have to burn a witch at the stake then give everyone in the Hamlet of Aspergy universal health care to keep out GOPagan.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 18, 2013 11:41 am

        This would only get better if you have a wandering monster table that features JaMal as a wandering cleric who has stolen from his cult of worshippers. Raggi as a fat creepy magic-user obsessed with eating babies, who is searching for a red haired princess and a transgendered elf named Zak accompanied by a group of low level slovenly trollops in your game.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 18, 2013 12:13 pm

        Great ideas, Manboobs. As the gaming goobers at Dragonsfart say, “SWIPE!”

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 18, 2013 9:10 am

      We will also be taking all the YDIS WordPress avatars and have them sewn together by an old Amish woman who is secretly a lesbian to make a Charity Quilt that we will auction off so that we can help that man child Ernie Gygax get a new apartment with his dog and his “roommate”.

      • February 18, 2013 9:22 am

        Yeah, did the fire out Ernie? That would actually be some interesting news.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 18, 2013 9:24 am

        Random Ernie Gygax Roommate Table (roll 1d6)
        1. His lover (female)
        2. His lover (male)
        3. The dog’s lover
        4. Child from last week’s Amber Alert
        5. Taxidermy Gary
        6. Lorraine Williams

      • February 18, 2013 9:26 am

        Haha, I rolled Lorraine! I think she also counts as a 1 and a 3.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 18, 2013 9:28 am

        Roll twice ignoring this result again.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 18, 2013 9:37 am

        This is just getting better by the moment.

      • Ritter permalink
        February 24, 2013 8:53 am

        I rolled a 5. Taxidermy Gary. It is Wisconsin after all. Home of Ed Gein.

    • February 18, 2013 11:33 am

      I’m in. I do not own any gamer shirts. I also hate Princess Bride and Monty Python

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 18, 2013 11:47 am

        Good thing I found my Detroit Tigers and Hooters t-shirts then! I won’t look like such a loser. Oh wait..FUCK!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 18, 2013 12:19 pm

        IRWS, you earned a seat at the table. Manboobs, go with the Tigers. At the very least, it will probably set off some fatbeard Aspie spaz from the Detroit area who was beaten up by jocks all through high school on an anti-sports rant, which are always enjoyable in their message board form.

      • February 18, 2013 12:25 pm

        You dicks got me looking for exhibitor info on Gary Con now. I doubt we will make it but the YDIS Trigger Warning Follies are too good to pass up.

      • February 18, 2013 5:15 pm

        Well you know, Dwimmerdust might be finished next year….

  23. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    February 18, 2013 9:32 am

    If my apartment burned down, I’d probably cash in on the renter’s insurance and find another apartment. But I guess a sob story pass the hat to the blOwSR so that I can buy a six bedroom house works too.

  24. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    February 18, 2013 10:13 am

    Preemptive damage control over the lateness/non-existance of Gygax #2? Remember, there was a fire!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 18, 2013 10:38 am

      It’s funny because it’s true!

  25. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    February 18, 2013 10:38 am

    So has anyone applied yet to join BM’s LLC, just for kicks and jollies?

    • February 18, 2013 11:34 am

      I thought you were renaming yourself. I am glad you cannot leave us.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 18, 2013 12:20 pm

        There is nowhere else to go, in gamer purgatory.

  26. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 18, 2013 10:54 am


    I…I knew you couldn’t quit us, Spectre.


    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 18, 2013 11:17 am

      I’m so happy that he stayed on. Let’s play some GURPs just to piss off Gene Weigel.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 18, 2013 12:05 pm

      I am honored to be on Kunt’s Crazy Fuckers List with you, CKDB. Obviously, Kunt hasn’t read any of Gene’s incoherent stream of consciousness schizophrenic ramblings with hints of inappropriate mirth or he would have made him our king.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 18, 2013 12:18 pm

        CKBD is good people. Kent is much more coherent than Gene anyday. That said Kent Dingleberry is probably on medication more often than not.

  27. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    February 18, 2013 11:22 am

    This just in, Greyhawk Grognard shows some good ol’ fashioned fiscal publishing know whats!
    Quote of the day for the TL;DR:”I view Kickstarter as a way to, well, kick-start my projects. It’s not an ATM that I want to go to every time I’ve got a book to publish, just because I don’t want any risk. Publishing should incur some risk, and I should be willing to put up some of my own money to see my vision come to pass.”
    Strange that he says that now only after bringing attention to Raggi’s Kickstarter for Free RPG day.

    • February 18, 2013 11:38 am

      I have to give credit where credit is — good on him. It is nice to see a hobby publisher, act like a publisher.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        February 18, 2013 11:48 am

        Fuck’in aye! I can see kickstarter as a way to put out the feelers to see if people really want The Entire Ecology of the Purple Worm or not but every money hungry would be game publisher sees that Ogre kickstarter and thinks $$$$$$$$$. I won’t back a kickstarter as I prefer to clear my backlog of published shit I swore I’d buy by guys that did it the usual way. I just don’t see handing over cash now for someone’s inevitably late project that will usually be subpar in comparison to what they promised. A lot of wargame miniature designers are doing this as well with using 3D digital sculpt renders which is a new and slightly weak technology right now that usually produces mediocre miniatures but people are fucking throwing dollars hand over fist at them on the gamble the figures will turn out okay. When they come back as misshapen blobs of resin the backers seem to be embarrassed that they got hoodwinked and try to praise these things.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 18, 2013 11:44 am

      It is good to see someone step up and take responsibility for a change in the OSR. He pulls up short on calling out fucks like Raggi who use it for every single idea they have to get published.
      But progress is progress I suppose.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 18, 2013 12:09 pm

      Don’t drink the Right Wing “I Built This!” bullshit Kool-Aid, guys. Almost every single product in GOPagan’s product catalog was from a Kickstarter.

      • February 18, 2013 12:12 pm

        …or stolen outright from old “From the Sorcerer’s Scroll” columns!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 18, 2013 12:23 pm

        I think Greyhawk Grognard has taken a lot from Kickstarter and in return gives shout outs (reacharounds) to his bros on the OSR. It’s ironic that he comes out as being fiscal and all that now for some reason.

      • February 18, 2013 6:52 pm

        @Schizonomicon. That is not stealing, that is honoring the legacy as Gary would have done it, if he was not kicked on out of TSR on his ass.

        @Chatdemon. Baby steps. At least he spoke up. Maybe in a few years he will grow up.

      • February 18, 2013 8:00 pm

        I stand corrected. Anton La Grog did in fact build it: the Castle of the Mad Archmage, the lost “second edition” Adventures Dark & Dwimmerous, all of it out of his own rosemary’s baby head. Because this is and not one of those other festering rat holes, I will say I was wrong and I’m sorry.

        Actually fuck all that, I just needed to attach a comment that Gary Con is full up this year so we need to try again in summer to get a good spot, assuming of course that the OSR is still fucking up enough at that point to rile anyone here.

      • February 19, 2013 3:23 am

        @Schizonomicon it is the OSR we are talking about. You know, as well as I know, that in about 24 hours one of the mental giants of the OSR is going to step into it again. 🙂

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 19, 2013 1:13 pm

        Ruh roh…grogtards will piss themselves in rage and envy soon.
        Is the end nigh?

  28. Cameron permalink
    February 18, 2013 9:28 pm

    Here ya go, ya crazy kids.

    • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
      February 19, 2013 1:43 pm

      Lorraine Williams = Horrifying.

      Lunging intro = Last thing the foot-long hoagie saw

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 19, 2013 7:31 pm

        Judging by the multiple chins, beefy jowls, and pudgy fingers, I’m guessing Lorraine Williams has some serious cankles.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 20, 2013 8:00 pm

      I bet those beards and pony tales at WOTC sure kept a lot of coke dealers and Eddie Bauer stores in business in Lake Geneva back in the 90s.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 20, 2013 8:02 pm

        I mean pony TAILS. I’ve been reading too many My Little Pony fapping posts at Big Purple Dildo lately I guess.

  29. Timothy permalink
    February 19, 2013 7:11 am

    Man, I punch out my computer because Bloodymage turned down my $1,000 check from an authentic Nigerian bank, and I miss a lot in the two days it takes to steal another one.

    Aneson’s Spectre, glad you stuck around! And thanks for stopping us from going down on GOPagan. Sheesh! Makes sure he sees that bit about how close Evangelicals and Wiccans are.

    Schizo, you should have pre-registered that table at GaryCon. Maybe you can look into that North Texas Fascist Fest. Kuntz will be there, along with Timmy Kask, we can game with them!!!!

    Sucks about Ernie, the fire and the coming out thing. Which one was his lover though, the dude or the dog?

    And Thanks God Busty Barbarian Bimbos was funded. We waited three decades for the Fantasy follow up to Macho Women With Guns. That’s a lot of blue balls.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 19, 2013 7:35 pm

      Busty Barbarian Bimbos getting funding is a total Win/Win for YDIS. Not only do we get to make fun of the people who bought it, but we also get to laugh and point at the Big Purple Dildo derps white knighting against it!

      Win. Fucking. Win.

      • February 20, 2013 4:30 am

        You should have seen the argument break out on 5 Star Tenkar’s G+ thread about this. They are all out in either pro/con this turd of a game.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 20, 2013 10:00 am

        Dark and powerful forces are at work here. Between the cleavage of busty barbarian bimbos lies the holy grail of geekdom and dorkery. Never in the ‘twain shall the two meet.

  30. Francie permalink
    February 20, 2013 2:55 am

    Do you know who’s a fucking dick? Anyone called Justin. Justins are fucking dicks.

    • GenghisDon permalink
      February 20, 2013 6:12 pm

      That’s been my experience

  31. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    February 20, 2013 10:48 am

    Let’s see… Bloodymage fails again with a poorly thought out concept of ‘fuck, I’d pay to do that job!!!” by taking that literally.

    Gygax #2 will never be released due to fire.

    Arneson’s Spectre has his own personal troll. Congratulations, Dave, you must have REALLY pissed off some OSR fatbeard.

    Ernie’s room mate is a random encounter in the Forgotten Smoldering Temple of Zaggurratory.

    Busty Barbarian Bimbos has divided some people while most of us just don’t care.

    Gene thinks his incoherent rambles are ‘winning’. Someone please point him to apply for Bloodymage’s position cause he’s certainly qualified. Big applause for Gene ‘Cyborg Commando’ Weigel eveyone.

    No YDIS table at Garycon this year, sadly. Big hopes for next year, though. YDIS table next then YDIScon coming soon.

    Wizards furhter devalues old collectibles by continuing to release everything. Fatbeards cry, other people throw dollars at corporation. Fatbeards shakes their fists at them for supporting big business. Clouds of Cheetoo’s dust shaken off fatbeard’s bellies from their indignant movement rolls across the United States.

    That’s kind of Where We are Now, right?

    • Timothy permalink
      February 20, 2013 11:04 am

      You forgot about Tasha showing up and showing all of us her lovely estrogen, before teasing with “taboo charming mother 6 how to give a blow j movies mature mom son mom movie free rusian sex with pakistan air line miyabi ozawa asian-sex free porn free brutal porn tube lovin that man of mine”.

      Not sure if she bought anything to help keep the lights on, though. I suspect ydis will keep his cards close to the vest on that one.

      Also, you did not mention kent’s Grognard crusade, which led one teabagger named Stormcrow to whine on the ODDforums, “All this reminds me of NPR reporters who over-pronounce their ethnic names.” (“Yeah, that’s right, it’s HEY-zus, whitey!”)

      Other than that, good summation.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        February 20, 2013 11:17 am

        Oh yeah, and Dwimmerdust continues to be closer to completion than the the mega.dust that inspired it. Although, that’s kind of a given.

      • February 20, 2013 12:25 pm

        Level 4 starting next week. I need to draw the map for it first. I have to say, if I can pull it off, it will be funny.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 20, 2013 11:33 am

      Aye good state of the union, as it were. I would also give a shoutout to GOPagan/Greyhawk Grognard’s sniffing out shit in the Kickstarter pile. As IRWS said, ‘baby steps.’

      • February 20, 2013 12:26 pm

        Yeah, baby steps. I really think, for all the negativity, the fail of Jim the Scam and Dwimmermount was the wake up some needed within the OSR community.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 20, 2013 11:35 am

      Oh and I think Kent went into hiding. AGAIN!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 20, 2013 8:14 pm

        He’s probably down at the Manhole Bar or the Fudge Palace. Maybe his talking rectum will show up and fill us in.

      • Kent's Rectum permalink
        February 20, 2013 8:38 pm

        Kent and Ernie G. are busy looking for a new apartment.

    • GenghisDon permalink
      February 20, 2013 6:39 pm

      I’m not trolling the spectre, but his constant homophobic barrage bothered me the same way “Fucking Lazy Nigger Kent ought to go back to peddling crack to kids & pimping his hoes, that black criminal scum” or “that bloodsucking, greedy, filthy Jew Kent…blah, blah, blah” going on non-stop, would have.

      I hope he stays, and he ought be able to express himself however he likes, but so can I. I take him at his word, and I know full well that Kent draws ire to himself like flies to shit. I hope he’s a little more creative in his retorts is all. I don’t even care about random sexual, racial, ethnic or religious slurs, but there is a limit.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 20, 2013 8:06 pm

        The best part of this post is that you think he was talking about you!

      • Kent's Rectum permalink
        February 20, 2013 8:34 pm

        Ancient Chinese Proverb: He who white knight’s for Kent with GINORMOUS DONG as user name, often ends up with poopy smears on his lance.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 20, 2013 7:57 pm

      “Arneson’s Spectre has his own personal troll. Congratulations, Dave, you must have REALLY pissed off some OSR fatbeard.”

      Actually, I’m quite enjoying the intoxicating bouquet of Francie’s lovely estrogen, so much so, I may pass out!

      With the ice storm and resulting traffic accidents in the area, I just got off a very long, 18-hour shift in the ER, where I work as a physician. This has absolutely nothing to do with anything, really, but since it does seem to get under one particular person’s skin for some reason, I thought I’d share.

  32. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 20, 2013 12:18 pm

    We huwt his widdle feewings. Actually, he probably is spending some time on the forums. He is just another Phorum Phag after all. When the unblown beat him down, he’ll pop back.

    Can we do a Kickstarter anonymously to get the funds to reserve a merchant table at Garycon and a security guard to keep BlOwSRtards from fucking with it? No gaming, just a good representation of the YDIS. Perhaps a plaster cast of a hand giving the finger? A photoshopped image of a smiling Jamal counting moolah? A diorama of the Turd Beyond Space (or whatever the fuck it was called) complete with actual corn encrusted colon hog as centerpiece? A commissioned panel cartoon of Lorraine hearing the doorbell ring – her thought balloon features a dashing young RWS holding a heart shaped choc box and flowers, only to open it to see a pack of rape-eyed Poag orcs? I dunno, I’m not feeling real creative today. Wot do yoos guys think our table should have?

    • February 20, 2013 12:26 pm

      Gene demonstrating how to use a flail. Maybe one of the Kickstarter strech goals could be a Weigel translator.

    • February 20, 2013 12:27 pm

      LOL. This made me laugh out loud, and now people are looking at me funny.

      I think a booth at GaryCon next year would be one of the highlights of that con.

    • February 20, 2013 1:03 pm

      Flail lessons… shit sandwich sculpture… Lorraine standee with functional “o” face… transvestite bodybuilder booth security… a stack copies of Dwimmerdust… burning a Castle Zagyg on stage.

      One scene keeps running through my head from the Ivy fuck bible:

      Gentlemen, can we dance with your dates?

    • Timothy permalink
      February 20, 2013 1:41 pm

      We should sell Dwimmerdust at our table. Some crayon adventures based on Brave Halfag’s ‘pendix N bullshit. Chick tracts on mixing capitalism and Odin-worship.

      Maybe we can take two hours to do our own retro-clone cut and paste, but do it in a William S. Burroughs manner. We’d sell the shit out of those if we gave it a D&D acronym (The Daked Dunch).

      Actually, if we just put a single woman with discernable breats at the table, it doesn’t matter what we sell, there would be a line there the whole time.

      • February 20, 2013 2:24 pm

        We don’t need D&D alliteration as long as we have a ‘busty bimbo’ on the cover. I’m thinking ‘Lamentations of an Interzone Junkie’ (edgy!) or ‘Greynova Expresshawk.’

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 20, 2013 8:09 pm

        I still want to see Fatbeards & Fucktards someday.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 20, 2013 7:11 pm

      I am in awe. Such great ideas I am a lost for words here. I love you guys. In a non-Kent way that is…

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 20, 2013 8:12 pm


      I say we crash GaryCon 2013! I’m picturing Manboobs leading the charge with Ballroom Blitz playing over the PA as we make our triumphant entrance on motorcycles.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 20, 2013 8:44 pm

        Whoa! Those cheese grater wounds better heal up fast then! Good imagery though!

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        February 20, 2013 9:43 pm

        Unicycles and ‘honk honk’ clown noses might be more appropriate just to prove we don’t actually take ourselves too seriously. Maybe with some Memorahl Baleelhe black metal playing in the background. Don’t bother googling that band cause well… I just made it up. As we crash into each other and the unicycles catch on fire, Ken St. Andre can use his one handed push up strength to save us from the fire. Confetti made from 1st edition AD&D material falls from the sky and fatbeards will cry until we reassure them it was only printed PDF’s we legally bought from the evil corporation. Then we can form a mob to drop by Jamal’s house and use a trebuchet to launch typewriters and keyboards at his house.

      • Scott permalink
        February 21, 2013 4:52 am

        “Dad, we’re from Knights & Knaves Alehouse. That means a few things – we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pussy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do, and now that is all wrecked.”

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 21, 2013 6:36 am

        That’s a good point, Ghost. Maybe if we just show up shaved and showered it will make a much more noticeable impression.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 21, 2013 6:57 am

        I like the ‘honk honk’ noses clown shoes and unicycles! 1st edition PHB/DMG & MM confetti is perfect. I think that’s probably the icing on the cake to a good Garycon party crash. You know I hear K&KA is having a little social in Texas.
        I think that would be a perfect photo bomb moment.

      • February 21, 2013 7:47 am

        Check this shit out from North Texas:

        Limited Sponsorship of the Serving Wench $150

        – You must provide a logo/advertisement to be included on the front or back of a TShirt to be worn by the Serving Wench during this time slot.

        – Your fee includes the cost of the TShirt, which will also include the NTRPGCon Logo as well (probably on the opposite side of the shirt)

        – You may also provide things like napkins with your company logo/ad to be handed out by the Serving Wench to attendees as she gets drinks/snacks during her shift.

        A 6′ x 30″ (don’t know if that means inches, 10-foot squares or yards, plus fuck you) table to “display your wares” is only $60 with con membership. Full sponsorship is $200.

      • February 21, 2013 8:08 am

        @Schizonomicon Redux Dwimmerdust will be there next year. That will be the perfect venue for it.

  33. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    February 20, 2013 6:42 pm

    Willy the Heavy Metal Kid meets Hamburger Mary for some hot n’ heavy gamer action? Izzy the Push looks on in bewilderment?

    • Sheeeeeet permalink
      February 21, 2013 3:22 am

      Ghost, Manboobs and Spectre need to get laid – bad. Grumpy grogtards are very grumpy.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 21, 2013 6:53 am

        Sheeeeet son, done beat ya’ too it. Paid two classy escorts from uptown Detroit to snort some nose candy off of my Rod of Lordly Might last night while they posed like that succubus lady from the Monster Manual (1st edition of course). Cost me three months rent but YOLO!
        Jokes on you boy!

  34. Timothy permalink
    February 21, 2013 6:55 am

    2 updates:

    Faggi’s “free” rpg day dickstarter raked in $18,000 from his drones. That bitch needs to take some risks on himself, rather than getting his faithful to fill up the collection plate. But they readily comply at every opportunity, even with a half-dozen unfulfilled Lotfap projects, so I guess you can’t blame a girl for trying.

    The funniest part is the free game will evidently be his vapor-ware product Insect Shrine, rebranded (off course) as his typical “1600s with tentacles” hentai stuff.

    2nd update: the thread on rpgbuttdit’s boards about James “JRT Jr.” Desburgo has Boy Skarka showing up to sniff his turds and attack everybody who wants to talk about the facts. You can actually see his temple veins swelling as he typed. Too bad he can’t put that much energy into fulfilling his dickstarters. He is as big a thief as JMal.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      February 21, 2013 7:26 am

      As long as Skarka’s harshing on pussyboy jhkim, he’s aces in my book.

      “I’m not familiar with this situation but I’m going to give my position on it, and by the way summarize the whole thing for me because I’m too busy getting a tingly feeling from riding my high horse.” Fuck you.

  35. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 21, 2013 10:59 am

    Damn. A Knights and Knaves party featuring Trent and his pals to an outsider will look like a gathering of middle aged lesbian tech support workers. Their excitement about sharing what kind of funnily named ales they like will only come off as the dykes trying to be “one of the guys.”

  36. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 21, 2013 2:41 pm

    Egads, got a big steaming gawk at the pic from the K&K con party thread. They seem to go through a lot of trouble to travel from all over to get a game together with each other. I would fucking travel nationwide to NOT play with that bunch.

    Man-children abound, and also someone who may be Stephen Hawking. I dunno who the DM standing up is, but his shanks and ‘stache have him looking what late 70’s/early 80’s non-gamers thought a DM would look like. And beer, ah beer. The perfect way to say “look, ‘am all growed up even though I play pretend! Have you tried ‘Monster Fish Grinning Devil Green Dog Mean Sumbitch’ Ale? I’ve got a ggggrrrrrrooowler full of it! It’s great (smiley faces toasting with tankards.)”

    • Scott permalink
      February 21, 2013 2:46 pm

      God I hate those fucking beer smilies

      • Scott permalink
        February 21, 2013 3:10 pm

        OK, I just read a couple K&KA threads for the first time in forever, and nothing’s really changed other than a slightly higher pitched bleating that OSRIC is a) something that anyone deserves credit for, and b) relevant. BUT I have a deepened sense that “AxeMental” is … not right. I feel like I know what he looks like, and that he’s one more Democrat President from ending up on the news.

      • GenghisDon permalink
        February 21, 2013 6:46 pm

        beer smilies suck, but there’s nothing wrong with having a drink. Would it be better if they drank mountain dew?

      • February 21, 2013 7:10 pm

        To me it’s the barfly’s equivalent to Mist “I Fuck” Well’s icon: a red flag that announces amateur hour has well and truly come. CKDB nailed it with the hipster lesbian beers and their joke beers and their fucking classic cocktail snobbery. Drink or don’t but either way, I’m not going to give you any fucking standing ovations for being a grownup man and/or carpet enthusiast. (See also: fucking bacon, bragging because you eat.)

      • February 21, 2013 7:19 pm

        Their dungeon master looks like he rides with curly greenleaf, at least. Probably too baked to notice they were looking at him like the snack at the sausage party. Hey! Speaking of the kind bud, is that what Grohe was asking about with the “anything special/interesting beyond beer” reference? I always figured that guy was on the straightedge side.

    • February 21, 2013 6:45 pm

      That picture of the longhorn looks like it should be a Successories.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        February 21, 2013 7:48 pm

        Honestly, not a ponytail in sight.

  37. Sheeeeeet permalink
    February 22, 2013 4:34 am

    A bunch of manchilddorks play D&D and think adding beer makes it cool. Old news. Yawn.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      February 22, 2013 11:37 am

      Drinking ale or cocktails or whatever the fuck is great. You do or you don’t. In my crowd (and not talking gaming) drinks of all kinds are favored depending on the person, but a lot of us guys like various ales, but sometimes we think we are goddamn Frankie and Deeno sucking down scotch and soda. Whatever. But the point is we don’t go coo coo for Cocoapuffs about it like little bitches at a sleepover looking at Justin Beiber pics. We like to share, but fuck it we are grown ass men. Even the ladies chortle and squeak to each other when they voice their love of drinkies, but it is over pretty soon and they are back to talking about their boyfriend/husbands tiny pricks in a jiffy.

      But these guys share the love of lame gaming and signature ales so fucking hard and with such pubescent gusto, they act like Sasha Grey is calling them come hither to the Flames of War room for a gang bang. Nobody can make it thru the door cause they keep gibbering and pulling each other out of the way like the Three Stooges trying to get to a banquet table.

      Kevin Smiths dipshit friends on Comic Book men seem more grown up and studly than your basic “buddy buddy” gametard.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 22, 2013 12:06 pm

        Sasha Grey? I am a Lisa Ann man myself. Although I would be like Curly around the likes of her! NYAAY! AWHOOWHOO!

      • Scott permalink
        February 22, 2013 5:41 pm

        I just googled “Lisa Ann porn.” Really? Her? Different strokes, I guess. (I’m in a Lexi Belle place these days.)

      • February 22, 2013 6:36 pm

        It’s important for me to concoct a plausible hook up narrative, like “This is a girl I could actually get,” so mostly I end up fapping to girls who look like Jonah Hill.

      • February 22, 2013 5:59 pm

        Brett Rossi. All day and any day.

      • February 26, 2013 6:28 am

        Specialty beer is like wine. Why bother? Let some other asshole figure out whats good and serve.People who obsess about beverages always rub me the wrong way. What is important while playing a game is having a spread. The staples of any game are:

        1) Coffee
        2) Soft drink mixers
        3) Cheap beer (Budweiser, or some Wisconsin crud, etc.)
        4) Semen


        4) Man jizz

        Sorry… sorry…

        4) Some kind of shot worthy alcohol

        Wait and…

        5) Week old fermented cat blood in case Ed Greenwood and/or some other contemporary (e.g. any rpg industry type with a golf shirt.) shows up…

      • Bob's Kunt permalink
        February 26, 2013 6:41 am

        Gene’s favorite drink is fermented Gygax jizz.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 26, 2013 10:15 am

        New spells too add to the Grimore; Weigel’s Carping Moan. Weigel’s Man Jizz, Weigel’s Flacid Cock and Weigel’s Feverish Screed.

    • February 26, 2013 1:07 pm

      The Complete Guide to Feverish Counter Screed Now With Jizz.

      Someone off in the distance sips his microbrew, zips his sweater, holds his “man-clutch” tightly, rolls eyes facetiously then looks sideways and whispers to self, “I’d buy that…”

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 26, 2013 6:47 pm

        Well spoken sir. Please take the cock out of your mouth.

  38. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 22, 2013 11:55 am

    And I know there is a lot of aspect of “who gives a fuck what the gametards do or talk about.” But the true point is the way BlOwSR nimrods act on forums and occasionally in person can really clue you in to how it is possible for a Jamal or Raggi to be successful and get good word of mouth out for their often non-existant shit. The aging gamer community is unconsiously devoted to lifting the more vocal among them on their shoulders and congratulating each other for doing so and speaking the same mindspeak. Most seem emotionally or mentally broken, and they come together to bleat and jerk each other off to cover it up. Field psychology researchers are missing a fucking goldmine with the OSR.

    • Sheeeeeet permalink
      February 22, 2013 1:03 pm

      Hahahah, awesome. Who is creepier? The manchilddorks that play D&D or the self-loathers that obsessively “study” their forums? These self-appointed judges of dorkdom take creepy to a whole new level! Newsflash: you are just as big a loser as they are, maybe bigger.

      • Scott permalink
        February 22, 2013 1:20 pm

        Granted. Self-loathing’s got me this far, might as well dance with the one what brung me.

      • Timothy permalink
        February 22, 2013 2:13 pm

        Oh, gosh, the haters are back! And pointing out that we are what we make fun of, only worse, all over again!

        This hurts!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 22, 2013 5:01 pm

        You know what is creepier? A Sheeeeeetstain that thinks it don’t stink. Sorry son, you are here posting on a troll blog whilst holding your nose. You are part of the stink and it’s funnier because you think you don’t. Best deal with that first bef

  39. NUNYA permalink
    February 22, 2013 11:55 am




  40. Francie permalink
    February 22, 2013 3:53 pm

    Worse than the beer smilies are the cocks who want to show off their big-boy-pants by throwing meat on their fucking grills, sinking cool ones, and having girlfriends. After that playing pretend with wizards is only rock solid quality bro-time, not dorky or uncool in any way.

    • Scott permalink
      February 22, 2013 5:44 pm

      I don’t mind being a dork, and I don’t judge anyone (dorks or otherwise) for having a good time, drinking whatever, grilling out, or whatever they want to do. But drinking microbrews and eating meat (along with owning guns and listening to prog rock) are apparently load-bearing personality traits for some folks.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        February 22, 2013 6:14 pm

        Too true. I miss the days of being a devil worshipper for playing D&D and having the people treat you with the respectful fear they should. According to Gene (and probably GoPagan) they still do cause D&D is STILL relevant and constantly covered by the 700 Club.

  41. Zarathustra permalink
    February 22, 2013 6:16 pm

    Yeah I don’t get it. Sometimes I eat barbecue, sometimes I drink fancy beer or liquor. Sometimes while I game, sometimes not. But I’ve never felt the need to start a thread about it or thought it worth semi-boasting on the internet.

    The weirdest ones are the “currently drinking” threads. So you post what you drink in the assumption it will make you look like a refined person of utmost taste, or a tough man or whatever e-pose you are going for. The only possible responses are “oh yeah, I like that one”, or “Haven’t tried it”, or “Don’t care for it”, but usually they just ignore other responses in favour of listing their own daily consumption, no one gives a fuck about the other posters responses, just putting thier own coolness up there. I don’t get it.

    • February 22, 2013 6:42 pm

      That’s fine and all, but what are you currently drinking? I need you to post something so I can ignore it, then do a little research and post something more obscure.

      Then it’s Kent’s turn.

    • February 22, 2013 8:04 pm

      Or you can be like RPGpundit and end every pst with what tobacco you are smoking

  42. Zarathustra permalink
    February 22, 2013 6:53 pm

    Currently licking an endangered frog found only in the Amazon, whoch has been fed exlusively on dark ale malted hops.

  43. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 22, 2013 8:21 pm

    Constant Comment tea! Because it’s Friday, I’m having the caffeinated!

    *smiley making jerking off motion with hand*

  44. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    February 22, 2013 9:09 pm

    Earl Grey or Darjeeling, old chap? Followed by a Macanudo cigar, right?

  45. February 23, 2013 5:40 am

    Is this a sign of DwimmerVapor never seeing the light of day? Or another typical activity of the old school publishing circle-jerk where promises made are not kept? Artists do not usually reveal their cover art before it’s on the book, but Mark Allen has shown his cover art for Jamal’s vapordungeon.

    He’s also posting pics from Petty Gods. The funniest comment “think it will ever be published?”

    • Scott permalink
      February 23, 2013 6:00 am

      “I contributed alot of art to an rpg book, which was to be called “Petty Gods”. The book never published, but here are my contributions… 2-3 years after their creation. I share these illustrations here… or else you might not know they exist.”

      Dude doesn’t sound too thrilled with the situation.

    • February 23, 2013 6:54 am

      That was very unprofessional! He will never work for a professional company like Adament Entertainment that’s for sure. Way to end your career by blacklisting yourself, bud.

      • February 23, 2013 8:43 am

        Don’t you have a game to finish, or a message board to be banned from?

      • Aos permalink
        February 23, 2013 9:54 am

        Don’t professional companies actually release product?

      • February 23, 2013 10:20 am

        @ Aos. Maybe GMSkarka can take a page from Brave Halfling’s playbook. I got my boxset, and this was on the top:

        Two fucking years.

      • Aos permalink
        February 23, 2013 10:41 am

        “We did a fantastic job,” is probably not the best thing to say when you ship an incomplete product two years late to paying customers. Wow.

      • February 23, 2013 11:48 am

        @Aos. I am beginning to think that this is just going to be the standard MO of all hobbyist publishers from here on out. No longer is it going to be big guys and little guys. It is going to be those who hit deadlines (WotC, Goodman, etc.,.) and those who cannot (OSR). It is not size of company, it is ability to hit deadlines.

      • February 23, 2013 12:08 pm

        SKAAARKAAA! Shouldn’t you be reverse white knighting rape apologists or profiteering off the 911 victims or something, oh wait, maybe FINISHING YOUR “KUNG FU” RIPOFF?

        On the Brave Halfings, who the fuck sends out a “good job us” letter two years late with typos in it? How brave they are. How half. How ling.


        Currently drinking: supermarket coffee, “cowboy style,” which sounds a lot sexier than it is

      • Ritter permalink
        February 23, 2013 2:06 pm

        “Blackmarsh.” How original. Is the follow-up campaign setting “Greyfalcon?”

      • February 23, 2013 4:21 pm

        @Ritter. No is is Rob C’s attempt to do a modern interpretation of Blackmoor. Yeah, it is as good as you think it is.

        Currently drinking a glass of water

      • Sykirobme permalink
        February 24, 2013 7:57 am

        Good attention to detail, though. Note the grammatical error during the mention of Conley’s contribution.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        February 24, 2013 10:30 pm

        Fuck, Skarka. There are publishers who would line up to hire someone you publicly trash out of pure fucking hate for you.

      • GMSkarka permalink
        February 25, 2013 9:03 am

        Next week, folks, I promise. I have a bad case of con crud ,my youngest child has bronchitis, my wife has a serious case of the vapors, the backups of all the artwork and layouts were lost, and my grandmother passed away for the sixth time on Sunday. Next week though, right after I crash and burn in 20,000+ words message board posts defending the right to rape in RPGs.

      • February 25, 2013 9:21 am

        Well, fucking get to it, SKARKA. It’s not like you have to deal with Icons any more — your “best selling” line got pulled by angry creative because you were fucking it up? — or develop Warlords of the Apocalypse. Let’s face it, Buckaroo Banzai has been in turnaround for a year and a half now and might as well be hoaxware in terms of the bottom line. Your Burroughs ripoff isn’t going anywhere now the Disney flick stank up the room. And you got a pulp game too alongside every other dork with a limp stiffy for the stirring days of yesteryear, lordy ain’t that precious.

        Other than hyping yourself incessantly, I don’t see anything on your plate more important than getting Far West out the door. Except maybe rape apologist apologies. And, you know, getting a fucking job. Scrubbing your folds. So get to it. Don’t let us STOP you.

    • February 23, 2013 7:46 am

      Does anyone in 2013 want to play any of those 5 characters?

      • February 23, 2013 8:43 am

        Nope. I still like to know how those stairs are standing.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 23, 2013 10:23 am

        I could be play the dwarf as a juggalo roadie.

      • Aos permalink
        February 23, 2013 10:44 am

        The cleric is obviously just getting started on the OSR diet.

      • February 23, 2013 12:12 pm

        Is the cleric modeled on Maliszewski or what? “What movie reference did Captain America understand for $100, Alex.”

      • Ritter permalink
        February 23, 2013 2:07 pm

        Hahaha! Chubs the Cleric cracks me up. I hope the shit that lives in that dungeon doesn’t move too fast!

    • Sykirobme permalink
      February 24, 2013 7:59 am

      I like the elf flipping everyone off.

  46. February 23, 2013 10:02 am

    Yes, I want to play the elf archer with the mask and the green pantaloons. I sense a profound depth of role-playing potential with that character, but his hair should be powder blue. Perhaps the fletchings should be peacock feathers, or is that too pretentious?

    • February 23, 2013 10:04 am

      currently drinking vanilla Coke zero.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 23, 2013 10:27 am

      I think you passed pretension when you picked a masked elf but that’s me. Good on you for being able to play outside your comfort zone by making the elf blue haired.

    • Kent's Rectum permalink
      February 23, 2013 6:19 pm

      Currently drinking anal lube, switching soon to jizz loads.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 23, 2013 8:50 pm

      I still want to play Lady Wrinklequim of Dimmerdouche Abbey. Although Fat Abbot is a close second.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 23, 2013 8:51 pm

        Oh, and currently drinking Dewers and snorting huge rails of cocaine.

  47. Timothy permalink
    February 23, 2013 10:20 am

    That dumpy looking cleric looks like a cutting edge character build. And the Eyes Wide Shut elf, as perdustin pointed out.

    Currently drinking Peptobismal.

  48. Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
    February 23, 2013 2:48 pm

    new update at the Dwimmerdong Cockstarter page.. nothing new really.. notably absent is the mention of any communication or attempt thereof with JaMal..

    • February 23, 2013 4:19 pm

      What I find funny is that they cannot publish the damn thing because Jim the Scam has the copyright. However they have no problem hosting, highlighting and encouraging people to do their own remixes.

      • Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
        February 24, 2013 5:27 am

        I can’t tell if the remix thing is part of Tavis just trying to some content into the hands of backers to appease them, or a passive aggressive attempt to get back at JaMal. Which by the way, I notice his tone in the updates slowly becoming more hostile.
        The whole copyright thing is humorous as well. I’d just go ahead and publish it. If Jamal is too depressed to come out of hiding and finish the job, he’s too depressed to come out of hiding and launch a lawsuit.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 24, 2013 8:56 am

        That would be perfect ending for this sorry tale. JaMal’s milquetoast pasty ass being bypassed by his ‘fans’ and challenged in a lawsuit to just finish the damn thing.

      • February 24, 2013 9:56 am

        @Exploding Colostomy Bag. That is the thing, James’ screwed you. Why not see if he has the balls to fight you. I do not think Tavis is being passive aggressive, I think he’s trying to make the shit burger edible. I find it funny as hell that I’ve proven right about this.

        @Chatdemon’s Manboobs. That’s the thing, call his bluff. See if this will get him to move his ass. Both parties deserve each other.

      • Ritter permalink
        February 24, 2013 10:45 am

        Autarch could just file off the serial numbers and publish Dwimmer-amount-to-nothing under a different name.

      • Donkeyfucker permalink
        February 24, 2013 1:26 pm

        @Exploding Colostomy Bag:
        As soon as Scammy Jim smells some money he will come out of hiding and most likely will file a lawsuit against Autarch. I guess Tavis is quite aware of the Scammers dubious morality and will do nothing to further ruin his company.

    • February 24, 2013 6:17 am

      Interesting aside; if you use Google search and type in “dwimmermount ” (include the space to indicate you want to type a second word); Google will helpfully suggest “dwimmermount controversy” as a search topic in the drop down.

      Jamal’s legacy. The ultimate reflection on the “Pope” of the OSR. Self-centered drama and flimflammery.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 24, 2013 8:49 am

        More like creepy cultist than papal authority. He has more human shields who step up and take his beatings for him than anyone I have ever seen. JaMal would ask for free shitty games on his blog and people would send him what he asked for. Any legacy attributed to JaMal should be one of shame and what happens when you follow someone like JaMal too closely.

      • Bob's Kunt permalink
        February 24, 2013 4:15 pm

        @Manboob’s: I think that the TLG guys may have James beat on cultists. They worked for five years to put out a book. Instead of calling TLG out for this and other unprofessional acts they rallied around them and attacked those that called TLG for the scammers they are.

  49. Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
    February 24, 2013 9:41 am

    This is going to be another another one of those 400+ reply things, isn’t it? Fuck me.

    As to why anyone would post on a “whatcha drinking” thread, shit, is it any shock that alkies need somewhere to brag about being discriminating alkies? Is it any worse than jerking yourself off in public about the victories of your favorite sports team? Ridiculous consumer enthusiasm is what Ah-mur-rica is all about, you dirty commies.

    Jerking off to elf porn, drinking a fine Grizzled Grognard’s Piss Ale. Both are tasty.

  50. Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
    February 24, 2013 1:00 pm

    Too bad the comments are so much less clever and funny than the blog posts. YDIS wipes his ass with the OSR and you dummies eat the used toilet paper. Sort of a Gygax and JMal sitch.

  51. Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
    February 24, 2013 2:17 pm

    Too bad the comments aren’t as clever and funny as the blog posts. Just a bunch of bitter dopes, the bland clone ripoffs to YDIS’s Gygax. 😦

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 25, 2013 3:14 am

      Holy fuck! You said the same thing twice. That makes you twice as retarded! Anywho, we do as we damn well please here Fucktard. No need to insult YDIS over our shenanigans, he just opened the door for us to come in and we provide much need comic relief.
      Great name BTW.

  52. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 24, 2013 3:09 pm

    The best thing about the long threads here is that they are funny and insightful in an entertaining way. In a way none of the unblown on DF or K&K will ever pull off. Most attempts at humor and insightfulness there is like some abominable genetic fusion of Paula Poundstone and Cliff Clavin from Cheers meets puberty. Yes, they are as unfunny and as unenlightening as that…

    Obviously they are few actual alkies on drinking threads.
    As mentioned before, manchildren jerking off to labels. There are the loner types with their scotches and saki’s and vodkas (these might be the actual alchoholics), then there are posers who “buddy up” to smiley the living mother fuck out of each other over beer labels.
    “My GF just bought me a bottle of Sore Herpie Blister stout! I can’t wait to crack this open while I listen to some prog rock and jack off!” *winking smiley*
    “Gee, I am jealous while I am on the patio grillin and chillin with MY GF and asking her for the thousandth time if she’ll come down to the game shop with me to prove to them I have a GF! But I just finished a Ham Fist Bitternuts from Sweden, it’s da bomb indeed!!!” *two helmeted smiley toasting with tankards*
    *two pages of thumbs up and winking smilies follow*

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 25, 2013 3:18 am

      We need a YDIS beer, I think Capt. Kirk’s Dick Blood extra stout would make a great name!

      • February 25, 2013 8:59 am

        How about a combination microbrewery/OSR publisher? Someone needs to capitalize on that synergy. If Bloodymage advertized for a braumeister, he might get some takers. The only problem I forsee is printing the OGL on every label.

  53. Francie permalink
    February 24, 2013 4:00 pm

    That Dwimmermount picture is ridiculous. Chatdemon’s Manboobs, is that your character at the back left with a salmon on a handle? Are you angry because that dude with the mask is checking out your rack rather than paying full attention to your leader, the fat pedophile?

  54. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    February 24, 2013 4:06 pm

    Whoa bro! I called the dwarf!

  55. Shitty McTits permalink
    February 24, 2013 8:59 pm

    Currently drinking: Orphans’ tears (with a Laphroaig rinse).

  56. Poor Jim permalink
    February 24, 2013 11:02 pm

    You’re all a bunch of fucking idiots.
    Letting people tell you what you’re gonna do.
    Letting people push you around.
    How long do you think it’s gonna last?
    How long are you gonna let it go on?
    How long are you let ’em push you around?
    How long?
    Maybe you like it.
    Maybe you like being pushed around.
    Maybe you love it.
    Maybe you love getting your face stuck in the shit.
    C’mon, you love it, dontcha?
    You love it.
    You’re all a bunch of slaves.
    Letting everybody push you around.
    What are you gonna do about it?
    What are you gonna do about it?
    What are you gonna do about it?
    What are you gonna do about it?
    What are you gonna do about it?
    What are you gonna do?

  57. Francie permalink
    February 25, 2013 1:06 am

    I’ll tell you what I plan on doing Poor Jim, having a limited edition bottle of malty Dirt and Tears Vinegar Strokes of Homeless Hobo from a specialist nanobrewery in Detroit and then posting a picture of the bottle on the internet. Maybe an unread 50 page thread on Dragonsfoot is a possibility. Then I’m going to have a blumpkin

  58. Francie permalink
    February 25, 2013 2:12 am

    I’ll tell you what I plan on doing Poor Jim: have a limited edition bottle of Dirt and Tears Vinegar Strokes of Homeless Hobo from Detroit specialist nanobrewery Pig Cock 7 and then post a picture taken in my basement studio apartment of a single empty bottle. Then I’m going to attempt a solo blumpkin

    • Francie permalink
      February 25, 2013 8:59 am


      • February 25, 2013 9:07 am

        I think you’re having problems with the spam filter? I don’t know for sure, but I suspect it’s the various email addresses you are using. The auto-filter doesn’t like shitloads of links in comments and it doesn’t like email addresses from weird @ locations that look like they might be from a Moldavian snuff film link farm. Probably if you just put something in with “” it would go right through. I check the spam filter irregularly, so things stuck in there can disappear for a couple days.

        Currently drinking: and driving.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 25, 2013 3:18 pm

        Sounds like the spam filter is working just fine, YDIS.

      • Francie permalink
        February 26, 2013 3:30 am

        What are you trying to say AS? I think you need to work on your people skills, I don’t like your tone a whole fucking lot. When you get over the upset of hearing that, maybe you being in a care profession and hating women and homos could probably use some work too. Unless you specialise in bro-med then who cares. Does the hospital that you do shifts in as a physician when you are working as a physician in a hospital where you are a physician offer personal development programmes?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 26, 2013 7:23 am

        I know! Kent is pretty gay, right?

  59. Timothy permalink
    February 25, 2013 7:05 am

    Very interesting that latest Dumbermount update. Tavis has taken some of the content from the Dwimmermount Codex, which was going to be published seperately by JMal, and thrown it out there to the backers – obviously without the pope’s permission, since they have not been in contact.

    Very ballsy move by Tavis, maybe one designed to get Jim out of his foxhole. Or he might of realized it would be vaporware like Pussy Gods, and decided to at least pacify the masses with some “content.”

    Hopefully we get to see lady Wrinklequim and Pedopumkin statted up for Adnoid Canker Queer.

    Currently drinking: Dead Southern Moon Boy Pale Ale.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 25, 2013 9:11 am

      I’m putting together my spell list for Lady Wrinklequim for the Expedition to Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon. So far I have Fucktard’s Everfull Ass and Sustare’s Shit Bubbles. Any other suggestions?

      • February 25, 2013 9:21 am

        Summon New Adventure.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 25, 2013 11:33 am

        More spell slots:
        Bigby’s Groping Hand
        Bigby’s Reach Around
        Bigby’s Hand Job

      • Timothy permalink
        February 25, 2013 11:44 am

        Bigby’s Probing Finger; Summon Pedopumpkin; Malisewski’s Portable Toilet; Kuntz’ Revirginizer; Banish Dust (multiple memorizations required).

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 25, 2013 6:19 pm

        Francie’s Intoxicating Estrogen
        Bloodymage’s Leave the Lights On
        Skarka’s Teleport Work to Next Week

      • Bob's Kunt permalink
        February 25, 2013 7:03 pm

        Jmal’s Gazing Navel, Weig’s Gygaxian Delusion, Alexi’s Drizzle Shits, Raggi’s Visible Stalking and Gygax’s Molesting Finger.

        Currently Drinking: Slimy Pond Water

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 25, 2013 7:55 pm

        Keep them coming!
        Currently Drinking: Shamrock Shake with Jameson’s Irish Whiskey.

      • Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
        February 26, 2013 5:52 pm

        Sphere of Kickstarter fund Annihilation
        Codex of Infinite Excuses
        Wand of “Talk to the hand ‘ cuz I got your 48k bitchezzz”

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 25, 2013 6:12 pm

      Remove Beersmile, Detect Shitstain, Weigel’s Dancing Flail, Reverse Faggotry, Kent’s Disfunction, Transmute Aspirin to Amphetamines, Teleport without Hair, Dispel OSR, Protection from OSR 10′ radius, Weigel’s Rusty Trombone, Summon Fatbeard I-IV, Maliszewski’s Improvised Lubrication,and Unseen Underaged Servant,

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 25, 2013 6:24 pm

        Very nice, although Weigel’s Rusty Trombone might make a better magic item, like Kent’s Rectum of Holding.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 25, 2013 6:39 pm

        True that, Wiegel’s Rusty Trombone would make a better magic item, we should make a list. I forgots Raggi’s Visible Repulsive Stalker and Zak’s Tiny Slut.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 25, 2013 7:52 pm

        And that reminds me I have to fill out my Items Carried list on Lady Wrinklequim’s character sheet:

        Weigel’s Rusty Trombone
        Zak’s Censor of Own Fart Sniffing
        Kent’s Rectum of Holding: one Big Purple Dildo, one Dire Gerbil with 2000 CP.

      • Scott permalink
        February 26, 2013 5:44 am

        Silence, $48000 Radius

      • February 26, 2013 5:50 am

        Jim The Scam Wall of Screw the Backer
        Tavis’ Spin Shit into More Shit
        OSR’s Scissors of Cut and Paste

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 26, 2013 7:18 am

        HA! Scott for the win!

  60. Cameron permalink
    February 25, 2013 9:34 am

    “Debeauchamp’s Polite Windbreaker”: essentially a satin-lined whoopie cushion that makes a quiet “wooosh” sound and then makes the room smell like roses.

    For classy role players, unlike you sorry drunkards.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 25, 2013 11:35 am

      Throw in 2000 coppers and I have a rat-infested dusty room in the bowels of Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon I can add that to!

  61. Cameron permalink
    February 25, 2013 9:43 am

    Not technically a spell, but . . . magic all the same!


  62. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 25, 2013 7:19 pm

    Satine’s itchy labia sore.
    Mandy’s bendable limbs.
    St. Andre’s Chant of Dwimmermount Session Ruining.
    Greenwood’s Catpiss Cloud.

    Zak’s Censor of Own Fart Sniffing.
    Geoffries Ankle Bracelet of Staying Away from Minors.
    Kent’s Cunt of Cunting Cuntety Cunt Cunt.
    Christians Eventual Disapearing Zine.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 25, 2013 7:53 pm

      Thanks! We will fill our spellbooks and the Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon treasure hoards in no time!

    • kent permalink
      February 26, 2013 3:17 pm

      >> Zak’s Censor of Own Fart Sniffing.
      >> Geoffries Ankle Bracelet of Staying Away from Minors.
      >> Kent’s Cunt of Cunting Cuntety Cunt Cunt.

      These are my favourites to date, though without wishing to influence the jury I believe after my own instance there should be a preponderance of k’s over c’s,


      >> Kent’s Kunt of Kunting Kuntety Kunt Kunt.

      See? SEE?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 26, 2013 6:58 pm

        Well, we do need an editor, and you are very good at editing and have an impressive command of the King’s English, Kent. Tell you what. If you have $1,000, we’ll let you join our LLC in exchange for 19% of the eventual profits.

  63. Skanka the Hutt permalink
    February 25, 2013 7:54 pm

    GoPagan’s Selective Self-Righteous Indignation
    Skarka’s Rape Redemption
    Animated Fatbeard

    • Skanka the Hutt permalink
      February 25, 2013 7:57 pm

      Kent’s Ass Fountain of Jizz.

  64. Shitty McTits permalink
    February 25, 2013 10:13 pm

    Poag’s Pu Pu Platter.

  65. Timothy permalink
    February 26, 2013 6:35 am

    “Silence, $48000 Radius”

    God damn, that is funny.

  66. Francie permalink
    February 26, 2013 7:31 am

    “Weigel’s Dancing Flail” is good, I’d especially love to see the shitty pen illustration done for the manual.
    Very funny stuff

  67. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 26, 2013 10:38 am

    Shit, with all these new spells and magic items, all we need is a couple of lame ass new races and 3 or 4 new unplayable character classes and we gots our own YDIS Unearthed Arcana. I’m whiffing a new Kickstarter in the air? Oh never mind, I think someobody recently farted and left a vapor trail near my desk.

    • Timothy permalink
      February 26, 2013 11:47 am

      Sorry, CKDB. I was trying to kickstart some estrogen.

    • February 26, 2013 5:44 pm

      Dwarf Basementdweller. They pride themselves on wearing bathrobes and asking for free game goods.

      Mistwell Elf. These rare elfs are found in the deepest parts of the forest, where they call every tree they see asshole.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 27, 2013 10:29 am

        Keep ’em coming. I’ve already had some artwork commissioned:

    • Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
      February 26, 2013 6:18 pm

      Epic Pope of blOwSR ….. wait that’s 3.5 so it can’t exist in retro retro retro retro

    • Skanka the Hutt permalink
      February 26, 2013 7:59 pm

      Thorkhammer: it projects the illusion of being a giant cock but is really a talentless chicken little.

    • February 27, 2013 8:06 am

      Sharka the Charybdis: This massive creature sits upon frog like legs, and contended himself with hearing himself croak, and extrude a thick air of douchebaggery.

      • Aos permalink
        February 27, 2013 9:42 am

        I think it eats a fair bit of fried food as well.

  68. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 26, 2013 12:36 pm

    Aw jeez. Just the mentioning of lovely, lovely estrogen made me “Thorkhammer” all over my keyboard.

    • February 26, 2013 1:18 pm

      Weig’s Cock-riding Cockbags was actually a spell from my campaign! You quasi-girls are fucking psychic!

  69. Francie permalink
    February 27, 2013 2:26 pm

    Old but still fun. ‘Rats and rubbish aren’t inherently interesting’ – no kidding. Cold puke is not inherently tasty either.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 27, 2013 6:01 pm

      Fence riding or white knighting JaMal? You decide. For more turd eating insight on this deeply divided issue we turn to Gene Weigel,
      CM: “Gene what is a megadungeon exactly?”
      GW: “It’s something that I have no opinion about, but after I finish tossing Tim Kask’s salad I’ll be happy to write a rambling screed about.”
      CM:” Great job speaking with your mouth full Gene, but I was hoping for a bit of insight from someone who was there before it happened.”
      GW:”Tough noogies you backpack wearing mountain dew drinking shaved face gainfully employed Pertfhfinder loving 2EENY .”
      CM:”Well, folks you heard it here first, No comment from the man who was there before it all happened. Back to you Francie.”

      • Francie permalink
        February 28, 2013 1:41 am

        Manbreasts, we’ve been over this ground before. Gene is off limits. I am convinced he is the crazy dude in some movie having visions about the end of the fucking world who turns out to be right. I want him to be our leader when the whole shit-stained dusty rat-fucked megadungeon explodes like a piss bag Arneson’s Spectre didn’t bother changing because he was too busy fisting himself in x-ray and violently beating off to the pictures. Gene knows the way out, don’t fucking forget it or you’ll be left behind to eat dwarf corpses with the rats.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 28, 2013 8:36 am

        So that wasn’t Tim Kask he was giving a Rusty Trombone too? That was you? Shit, dude sorry. I didn’t know you and Gene had this thing going on. I know you have this thing for Arneson’s Spectre and all, but him turning you down must have been hard for ya’ bro. I feel bad now. I hope you and Gene get along great, I’ll leave him alone so you too can have some quality time.

        *Creepyface* FUCK!

      • February 28, 2013 6:38 pm

        Can’t you imagine me sucking a more choice dick than Kask? Seriously, I’m not a fan of old Dragon magazines in general. Ed Greenwood started in old Dragon magazines. BARF!

        What exactly is a megadungeon?


        Size of a megadungeon… what!?! Its exactly the same size as a dungeon??? Huh??

        Uh oh, Chumley! We better go see Mr Whoopee…

        Hello there, Tennessee & Chumley, so you boys want to know why a megadungeon doesn’t exist? Lets go to the magic chalkboard…

        Well you see the end of the medieval era came with the introduction of cannon. Chainmail, the wargame that preceded the Dungeons and Dragons RPG, used a wooden dowel to consider its far range and blast area. This would be the foundation for what you know as spell area and ranges. So distance outside had to be considered separate from the dungeon interiors. This created a great wilderness type play schism of sorts in the wake of the Advanced system’s new-fangled “modules”. No longer would room after room after room after room after room after go on and and on and on and on in an endless pattern like uh… this screed. When TSR, looking for new staffers, pulled the do-nothing-game-content-wise “Mr Story Time” Ed Greenwood out of his mother’s closet, because TSR was desperate, the only solid game content he had lying around was the dungeon from back when he first started playing D&D. Apparently he then stopped designing new areas, perhaps telling Elminster stories at a tavern to his damned players almost immediately, because it was mostly blank and boring. Therefore the notion that this “new” boxed product introduced a mega-dungeon, when in fact there was nothing new there but a roll of blank wallpaper with a couple of example pages not even enough for a non-dungeon adventure saying do-it-yourself for the rest, entered the common cloth of fantasy gaming. Of course, there were later “sequels” but its neither here nor there. There are castle dungeons. There are D&D dungeons. There are sex dungeons. However, there never really were any megadung….wha-??? CHUMLEY! STOP PUTTING THAT BALL GAG ON TENNESSEE!!! ITS MINE!!! I’M IN A LONG SCREED!!! OH FORGET IT!!!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 28, 2013 6:45 pm

        “…explodes like a piss bag Arneson’s Spectre didn’t bother changing because he was too busy fisting himself in x-ray and violently beating off to the pictures…”

        Radiology doesn’t work like that, Francie. Taking an X-ray is not quite the same as the time you got drunk at the office Christmas party, dropped your panties, sat on top of the copier glass so you could take a photocopy of your labia folds and ass crack by reaching over and pushing the copy button yourself. I’d need at least two compatriots to pull what you suggest off – one to position the X-ray camera in the room with me, and another to take the X-ray pictures in another lead-lined room altogether. I *might* be able to ultrasound a self-fisting, however, although I haven’t tried since I don’t get down to OB-GYN very often.

        BTW, Francie (and this might be the intoxicating scent of your lovely estrogen talking), do you do Brazilian wax on your vagina, or do you let that pussy bush grow wild and natural?

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 28, 2013 10:01 pm

        What the hell did I just read? Mr. Whoopee? Tennessee Tuxedo and Chumley doing the nasty? Wooden dowels and Greenwood? Whatever happened to Castle Greyhawk? I know it never seen publication but it still was there. Oh well. Thanks Gene your addled insight is helpful as always.

      • Francie permalink
        March 1, 2013 3:41 am

        Chatdemon, well done, you totally broke Gene. For fuck’s sake

        AS, I was taking some medical license for my own amusement, don’t try and take that away, it’s all I have left

      • GeneWeigel permalink
        March 1, 2013 3:55 am

        Castle Greyhawk is an example of a dungeon.

        Close your eyes, Marion!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 1, 2013 11:52 am

        Hmm. Sooooo lemme get this straight. Dwimmermount, ASE1, Castle of the Mad Archmage and Barrowmaze are all trying to replicate Ed Greenwood’s Undermountain and not EGG’s Castle Greyhawk? There was never, nor would there ever be a megadungeon for (A)D&D? Or are you just dismissing the terminology of the OSR? Whichever it is inquiring minds want too know.

      • March 2, 2013 7:36 am

        I’m dismissing the terminology because they should be calling their “normal dungeons” by the term “module dungeons”.

        I’m saying that they think they’re imitating Castle Greyhawk but they’re imitating it through a non-creative corporate after-thought of years later.

        For level ten monsters, dungeons are at least 8th level to run into one randomly by itself. The DMG has quotes like this for random determination without any mention of “mega-dungeon”:

        “Ninth and tenth level monsters are typically given attendant monsters,
        rather than greater numbers, in lower dungeon levels, i.e., a demon
        prince encountered on the 11th dungeon level might have a single
        type I demon attendant, while on the 15th level of the dungeon the
        same demon prince might have 5 such lesser demons or a pair of type
        III escorts.”

        They’re still saying “dungeon” here. AD&D said “dungeon” for level 16 plus and 3 book D&D said “dungeons” are 13 plus. All without saying “mega-dungeon”.

        This is why these “mega-dungeon” guys are grounded in 2E. It almost leads one to think they brand it “old school” because its a learning experience for themselves. They think that a level 10 dungeon has ten levels. From the above quote “lower dungeon levels” are on the 11th level!

        For example, a “mega-dungeon” to my “non-school” friend that I’ve played book-heavy AD&D with since 1984, who is still waiting for a good sci-fi RPG since that time and dropped out of TSR purchases at the beginning of FORGOTTEN REALMS because they “lost the flavor of grounded D&D as we play it” in his words, would probably be some incredible number of levels like at least 200 & up… Now THAT would be a “mega-dungeon” to him. I’m not making this stuff up.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 2, 2013 10:54 am

        Thanks Gene, it clears up a lot, I think you’re exactly right in how they are treating it as a learning experience for themselves without any context to what came after and changed in that style of gaming. Probably like the first time they discovered pron or something…anywho, good job!

  70. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    February 27, 2013 5:42 pm

    When is a clone not a clone? When it’s a retro clone. More shit stirring by the Right Wing Anton Levay wanna be himself:
    Just don’t call them clones or simulacrums!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 27, 2013 6:25 pm

      Here’s my umbrella word suggestion for all blOwSR products, be they retro clones, retro mods, throwbacks, nostalgia products, tributes, what ifs, suckdungeons, cut & paste regurgitates or what have you:


    • February 28, 2013 8:02 am

      Jesus fuck, there’s Vey of all people (no relation to Anton, GOOPagan, keep it in your pants) mincing out of his elf lair about the fine print between simulacrum and clone. Which one is “Spellcraft & Swordplay,” a clonalacrum? (Simulacrum of a clone = -d6 x d6% xp, -$30 gp, 15% chance cumulative of being a complete waste of everyone’s time and money.) Oh no wait, trick question, it’s a grey market C&C variant!

  71. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    February 27, 2013 6:24 pm

    K&KA is really KKK Alehouse?!
    Get in on this shitstorm brewing up like taco night at my house. PC liberalism invading the last stronghold of White Powah or just fatbeards upset that a person of non Caucasian skin tone might be gaming with them by mandate of a judge? Once again the viewing public of YDIS, YOU DECIDE!
    Just make sure you flush after this one, it’s going to be a stinky hot mess.

    For the TL;DR here’s K&KA darling fatbeard and Future Right Wing Reactionary AxeMental:
    “The real question is however, do you think the courts should be able to rule against a company for silly things like: not putting different races on their book covers Its clear the court system gives the PC movement its teeth. I suppose my real beef is with what I see as the miss use of the court system (which is supposed to throw out frivolous lawsuits). Bad judges are simply disregarding the 1st Amendment of the Constitution (probably bolstered by bad case law, and perhaps this has gone to the Supreme court and ruled in their favor, maybe someone like Matt knows).

    So far PC hasn’t really entered the gaming industry, but it could quickly (with the court system behind it. Get the right judge and anythings possible). I’m sure some of the decisions made by companies in industries not yet targeted relate to the potential of being targeted in the future (with expensive court cases).”

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 27, 2013 6:35 pm

      DungeonDork sez: “Completely ridiculous. “PC-PC’s”. Let’s also add handicapped people and homosexuals. :rolleyes:”

      Who the fuck still says ‘homosexual’ in the 21st century? I bet DungeonDork uses “Negro” too, if not “colored people”.

      I just might create a troll sock account at KKK Alehouse so I can White Knight for Kent and gay rights I tell you what! :angry:

      Thank goodness YDIS is wheelchair accessible.
      Does anyone here speak Chaotic Queer?

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 27, 2013 6:41 pm

        Kent would thank you if he wasn’t in hiding.

    • Scott permalink
      February 27, 2013 6:43 pm

      AxeMental is an actual retarded person. I have no doubt that there’s a foaming brain stem at the end of his neck, and that he types with big flipper hands. But this is pretty dumb, on multiple levels, even for him. I don’t even know where to start with this word salad. He manages to demonstrate ignorance of the most basic tenets of grammar, punctuation, spelling, logic, and United States law in one burst of gibberish. (The “maybe he’s not American” thing doesn’t fly. There’s no fucking way that guy’s not American.)

      Early in the thread, there’s this gem from another member of the think tank:

      “Completely ridiculous. “PC-PC’s”. Let’s also add handicapped people and homosexuals. 🙄
      All dungeons can be wheelchair accessible, etc, etc.
      Does anyone here speak chaotic-jive?”

      This is why KK&A looks ridiculous when its posters deride the blogs and G+ as echo chambers … its membership consists of several literate posters and several dozen very vocal morons who can find a way to take offense at someone suggesting more black people in D&D books. Not just disagree, but take actual offense. Nuke it from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.

      (To be fair, it’s kind of the opposite end of the political spectrum from, which is also a festering shithole. So maybe it balances out.)

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 27, 2013 7:11 pm

        I was just thinking that this KKK Alehouse sounds like a Right Wing reaction to the Ultra Liberal North Korean Utopia that Big Purple Dildo has become. Too bad there is no middle ground message board. Even theRPGshite is a haven for Libertarians with Aspergers (Libertarians being those advocating for the absolute worst aspects of the Right and Left). ENnworld at least had the foresight to topic ban politics and religion, knowing full well that their asshat membership who can’t handle a civil conversation about the differences between editions of D&D probably would go full-on anti-social retard talking about health care, abortion rights, and gay marriage.

        Maybe YDIS has become that middle ground? If YDIS was a message board that is….

      • February 27, 2013 7:41 pm

        Quick question, who wins in real life: Shivan Dragon or Serra Angel w/Living Armor? Asking for a friend.

      • Scott permalink
        February 27, 2013 7:45 pm

        It depends on how much red mana the Shivan Dragon’s summoner has open … if it’s at least 4, the Dragon can pump enough to kill a 4/9 Angel. Either way, the Dragon survives. THE MOAR YOU KNOW

      • February 27, 2013 9:48 pm

        Okay, I guess you expended your creativity ration today on crab dudes 😦

      • Scott permalink
        February 28, 2013 4:08 am

        something something crabs something

    • Schadenfreude permalink
      February 28, 2013 10:43 am

      There are so many things about this thread to enjoy. I just want to point out a few that I don’t think have been mentioned yet.

      First, after *years* of OSR people screaming about how D&D is modeled on classic S&S fantasy, it’s amusing as hell to seem Axmoron reject using Hyboria as a model “cause that ain’t D&D; it’s Conan.”

      Second, after years of OSR idiots scream about how in D&D it’s all about your own setting, not what TSR or anyone else publishes, Axmoron asserts that the default setting is Greyhawk. So if you’re using your own setting, you’re doing it wrong.

      And when someone (T. Foster, I think) points out to Axmoron that Greyhawk actually has lots of black people, bronze people, and Asian-looking people, Axmoron discards this and says that, well, the presentation was all about white men in a European setting. Wow, what a fucking tool.

      And this quote is too good to be true (except, of course, that it is): “Mocking is the sign of someone insecure without the wherewithal to make a well stated counterpoint or argument.” Wow. That’s just so sad it’s not even funny.

      • Schadenfreude permalink
        February 28, 2013 10:45 am

        I also enjoy how Axmoron equates “artistic freedom” with “people will buy your shit.” No one will stop you from making racist and/or sexist games, paintings, books whatever; but people choosing not to buy it is *not* a limitation of your freedom. It’s actually an expression of their freedom–choosing what they want to do with their money.

      • Scott permalink
        February 28, 2013 10:49 am

        To be fair, this is a guy who thinks people who homebrew additional stuff for the 1974 rules are betraying the vision of AD&D 1e. wait wut

      • Schadenfreude permalink
        February 28, 2013 10:58 am

        One last post (at least that’s what I’m telling myself): I haven’t finished the whole thread yet, but does anyone over on that board finding in the slightest bit ironic that the guy who talks extensively at the GUN is on the same side as the guy who’s got several sig quotes touting the right to own guns? Which, at least to me, means it’s the nutcases like Axmoron, who quote mindless idiots like Rush to make a point, and spew stupidity about how we’re no longer free if the government bans cop killer bullets, who are a more serious threat to “artistic expression” than anyone else.

      • Scott permalink
        February 28, 2013 11:01 am

        AxeMental was quoting the band Rush, not Rush Limbaugh (unless that’s what you meant). He’s quoting the song “Subdivisions,” which is about the stultifying effects of growing up in a uniformly lily-white suburb of row after row of identical tract houses. Because he thinks irony is the taste after you bite your tongue.

      • Schadenfreude permalink
        February 28, 2013 11:03 am

        Holy crap, I just can’t stop. But this pearl of wisdom can’t be overlooked. From vargr: “Why is European-themed fantasy settings, and ONLY European-themed fantasy setting that have to deal with this bullcrap of bending over backwards for the sake of political correctness? Has anyone stopped to think about that?”

        Let’s see–have people from other continents systematically enslaved, exploited, and conquered the world for much of the last 500 years or so?

        Vargr must be one of those guys who, when hearing it’s African-American History Month, wants to know why there’s no White History Month.

    • March 1, 2013 4:46 am

      Not for nothing but stupid racist fucktards should really get hip to marketing and the like.
      Basic pysh 101 and so one…

      White men for years have been voting for other white men. They have been following such white men into stupid wars for no gain of their own. Like is attracted to like not to opposites.

      But I digress.

      Commercial art is used to sell product.
      What threatens these fools is simply the idea that “Superman” or say Jesus might be black. Too bad ’cause sometimes he is.

      PC has nothing to do with selling more shit. These morons really need to get a clue.

  72. Timothy permalink
    February 28, 2013 12:02 am

    Wow, that Axemental punk is a caricature. His first post in that thread is a paint-by-numbers “I am not a racist…But…” and he just digs himself deeper with each post, as others point out the stupidity of his words. At the end he is just flailing against imaginary changes in his gayass, fucked up dismal life.

    That thread really seperates the cool guys from the bigots, too. I thought all those alehouse dudes were dicks, but not so.

    Ah, fuck em all anyway, particularly the guy who said he didn’t care what the ydis commentators would say.

    Suck our dicks, faggots.

  73. Zarathustra permalink
    February 28, 2013 12:39 am

    It took exactly two replies before this started coming out of their assmouths-
    “Does anyone here speak chaotic-jive?”

    Because obviously if there are coloured people in a game-world, they would all nescessarily speak in “comedic” jive talk.

    • February 28, 2013 7:49 am

      I hope that thread goes on a million years. Speaking of ale house putsches, why does axemental know so much more about “The Sound of Music” than he does about the racial underpinnings of the hyborian age, much less how to fucking spell it?

      Guys like that aren’t hardcore nerds, they’re just garden-variety fags stuck in a time warp. The muppet guy has good ideas though. Oh now here’s Geoffrey with his “free to be you and me, as long as you’re tied to my kitchen table” ad for Carcosa as ideal setting for characters of color. How . . . groovy?

    • Yahooooooooooooo permalink
      February 28, 2013 8:56 am

      Check and mate.

  74. Timothy permalink
    February 28, 2013 9:25 am

    That thread just keeps on giving. Vargr1105 came charging to axedumbass’ rescue with more whining about how the evil cultural marxist want to take white males out of gaming. Those two are some sick bitches – lets call them Cultural-racial-sexual Purists. Make rpgs safe for the poor, repressed white males!

    They can take dungeondick with them when they form their own Heston-Galt Valhalla (no girls or non-europeans allowed!).

    Kudos to the posters calling them out on their bullshit, even if they stop short of calling it what it is.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 28, 2013 10:07 am

      It’s funny too watch but I guess Vargr1105 just can’t stop himself which makes me feel a little bad about watching him flop around, Kind of like an ant in a cup of water.

  75. February 28, 2013 12:56 pm

    Politically correct making fun of the politically correct making fun of the politically correct making fun of the politically correct,,, INFINITY

    I’m the most PC of all you “-ists” because I’ve got fast food delivery, round cards and a secret slave trade during my games… all while being raped in my fat-bearded ass as usuall

  76. Hooch Swiller permalink
    February 28, 2013 1:12 pm

    vargr1105 is a racist piece of shit. check out his youtube page:


    • Timothy permalink
      February 28, 2013 1:30 pm

      Jesus H. Christ. Vargr says:

      “Whites must learn and never forget that their race was genocided from most of the planet and that the few White nations remaining today are under genocidal attack. Nothing else matters, the environment and economy are irrelevant to White people if there are no more White people around. The stem of invaders must stop, the non-White imperialist colonists must be sent back by whatever means necessary. The alternative is global White Genocide.”

      Well that certainly explains his intolerance of black dudes and women in rpg art. And a whole lot more. Now he is whining on that K&K thread that they were losing an arguement and so they called him racist.

      Right – his bogoted “white and normal” ranting had nothing to do with him being called racist.

      That fucker is straight out of the Christian Identity gestapo.

      Nice catch, Hooch Swiller.

      • Scott permalink
        February 28, 2013 2:01 pm

        As soon as I saw “vargr” I thought man, this dude sounds like Varg Vikernes (who is actually a huge D&D dork). White pride guys love wolf imagery.

      • Schadenfreude permalink
        February 28, 2013 2:51 pm

        Holy crap. How is it that he bothers to deny he’s a racist on K&K when he’s so up front about it on that other site? Maybe he thinks he’s not racist, all evidence to the contrary.

        Too bad someone locked the thread before this douche’s true colors could be posted there.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 28, 2013 4:45 pm

      Show’s over guys. P&P Locked the thread, just as it was getting good too. I blame Kent.

    • February 28, 2013 5:46 pm

      I think K&K is missing an opportunity to establish their brand as the Home of White Power D&D. It’s been crickets over there for 12+ months. If they can give the Stormfront crowd a safe place to game, they can carve out a profitable corner of the OSR.

      Only requires a minor rewrite to go from an alehouse to “Knights & Knaves Beer Hall.”

      • GenghisDon permalink
        March 1, 2013 6:34 pm


  77. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 28, 2013 1:21 pm

    I don’t know what any of this has to do with ale, prog rock, or estrogen…

    I don’t know the significance of this, but the few legitamately pan-African individuals I have gamed with, one girl and maybe 3-4 guys over the years have all with no exceptions ran white characters. You never really knew until they whipped out a flesh tone mini.

    I think the point might be that perhaps even black people don’t want black people in their game world.

  78. Hooch Swiller permalink
    February 28, 2013 2:56 pm

  79. kent permalink
    February 28, 2013 4:29 pm

    Blacks make the fastest racists in the world.

    Over any distance.

    Also in conclusion, black porno, called ‘ebony’ by pros, is always healthy looking isn’t it? Youve got your failed athletes ramming sluts like beached gymnasts with thighs inflated to bursting point. Smiles all round; everyone’s having a good time. Blacks don’t need kink.

    Then look at the white porno, its anything but healthy. There is always some filthy twist. With white porno you can’t just have two people banging because white people are ugly. And white women look like they are going to die giving blow jobs with their terrified drowning faces. Black women are more polite about at least giving the impression that cocks are delicious.

    That’s what I think. Take it or leave it.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 28, 2013 4:46 pm

      SHUT THE FUCK UP DINGLEBERRY!! No cares what a gay guy thinks about porn.

    • Scott permalink
      February 28, 2013 5:50 pm

      I dunno, the best deepthroat porn I’ve seen features white girls. Granted, I don’t watch a lot of deepthroat porn featuring non-white girls, so it may be a sample size issue.

      • Zarathustra permalink
        February 28, 2013 6:18 pm

        Now you’ve outed yourself as a discriminatory porn watcher Scott

      • Scott permalink
        February 28, 2013 6:45 pm

        The heart wants what it wants

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 28, 2013 6:52 pm

      Well, I hate to admit it, but Kent’s right. White porn as unhealthy disease-ridden zit fucking is pretty much summed up by Zak S’s porn career.

  80. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    February 28, 2013 6:55 pm

    Folks, I owe you all an apology. Earlier I referred to RPGnet (aka Big Purple Dildo) as an Ultra Liberal North Korean Utopia. I was wrong. Clearly, RPGNet (aka Big Purple Dildo) is a Tranny Freak Show Fascist North Korean Utopia:

    • March 1, 2013 8:37 am

      Here is something I do not understand. What happened to just playing a game? All of this hair splitting and pseudo intellectualism is annoying as fuck, when you pretend to kick down doors, kill defenseless greenskin “monsters” and take their money.

      • Scott permalink
        March 1, 2013 8:43 am

        lol @ adults reduced to shaking by rpg forums

  81. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 28, 2013 7:07 pm

    Black chicks can be real cute. Until the clothes are off.

    The chicks from Zak’s circle are all a bit weird and/or slagged. Mandy was pretty plain looking without makeup and outside the floppy, weird tits (does she still sell her bra’s to geektards?). And fucked up hair does not do much for most sane mens boners. Satine looks like a big Phillipino tranny. Kind of cute in a Kent waking up hungover “who the fuck is this big dude in my bed” way. I suppose Sasha was girl next door cute – until you saw one of her gangrape simulations where 30 dudes unload in her mouth before she swallows. After seeing that I would have a tough time sitting straight faced at a game table with her. A dinner table, forget about it! But then, she is not really a friend of Zak and company. At the time she did I Hit it With My Jizz, Sasha was showing up all over the fucking pop culture scenes because she was trying to get out of porn and into legit shit. I remember soon after she got in trouble for reading to a class of elementary school kids. As if they weren’t already chugging enough goo.

  82. Shitty McTits permalink
    March 1, 2013 11:06 am

    Not to derail our conversation of transgressivity and normative cultural values vis-a-vis banging black chicks bent over gaming tables, moaning into the d8s, but:

    Alexass has a new post up in which he–I swear to god I am not making this up–

    1) meets some dude in a bar
    2) “beat[s] down his closed doors”
    3) then “he unloaded on me”.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    • Scott permalink
      March 1, 2013 11:17 am

      He has very weird bullshit fantasies about the lives of hard drinkin’ blue collar dudes and musicians. Nice beer commercial moment of mutual respect at the end there, though.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 1, 2013 11:54 am

      Alexass is always good for a laugh or two but that’s just pure bugfuck nuts. Maybe him and Kent could hook up and talk about hetro pron for a couple of hours over a glass of boxed wine or wine coolers. Ack! I just creeped myself out.

    • March 1, 2013 1:13 pm

      Okay, someone has to buy that book and review it. Everyone rolls d20 and the low roll buys it? Who’s in, we’re using honor system on the rolls.

      • Scott permalink
        March 1, 2013 1:41 pm

        I’m out, the consequences of a loss are too grim

      • March 1, 2013 2:18 pm

        6, bring it bitches

      • March 1, 2013 2:21 pm

        Oh fuck I wanted high. I will BUY a copy for someone funnier than me.

      • Timothy permalink
        March 1, 2013 2:59 pm

        Rolled an 8, mother fuckers. Thank god – I would rather kiss kent in the romantic mud of Irishland than punch myself in the face for a day while struggling with Lexi’s rancid prose, babbling about something of which he knows nothing, brushing with the broadest strokes possible.

        “All musicians are this way, blah blah blah.” God fucking damn, I bet he never drank with that musician, and never spoke with the bar’s owner.

        Anybody who buys it is a fucking loser.

        Except for you, Schiz. Heh, heh. Do tell us how it ends!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 1, 2013 3:19 pm

        I rolled a ’15’. Thank Satan!

      • March 1, 2013 3:30 pm

        Ohhhh you goat fuckers.

      • March 1, 2013 7:33 pm

        10. I dodged that bullet.

      • March 1, 2013 11:59 pm

        Jesus fuckin’ Christ, I was seriously sweating that roll. 11! Looking bad for Schiz…

      • March 2, 2013 7:13 am

        20! Whew, what a relief!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        March 2, 2013 7:15 am

        7 – HA!

  83. unclecarbuncle permalink
    March 1, 2013 3:43 pm


  84. unclecarbuncle permalink
    March 1, 2013 4:06 pm


  85. GenghisDon permalink
    March 1, 2013 7:24 pm

    Wow, that KKK beer hall or K&KA thread is amazing. The mental one can’t seem to see past his own biases for a second. The Hyborean Age or Hyper-space or whatever he wants to call it, along with Greyhawk/AD&D as European dark ages based only? That’s as blind as can be. Aside from editing out half the setting’s peoples+, he missed his time frame quite a bit; (A)D&D is late medieval based by default. I wonder if he thinks everyone ran around in plate armor in whitey-only-land circa 650 AD?

    It’s funny, I hate PC crap myself, but the reactions on there are pretty telling, & damning. Of course it shouldn’t surprise anyone that RPG’s attract more than their share of moral pygmies &/or racists. Many of the default assumptions & conventions of the game are racist &/or morally dubious, at best. That all started with it’s writers/authors themselves & the source materials they were inspired by, so I’m sure it’s always been there for those that look. There is a large subset of gamers that wouldn’t understand an ethic or moral no matter what kind of Aesop you hammered them with, so it’s only surprising they actually “talk” that way in “public”.

    Perhaps K&KA is a safe place for them, so they can be comfortable letting whatever random shit that percolates through their skulls flow free. I imagine that’s a big part of it for some of them.

    I never cared overly much for T Foster, but I give him some props for countering the crazy with some facts, repeatedly.

  86. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    March 1, 2013 7:27 pm

    I’m about to just give roleplaying up and go back to the saner sport of High Competion Russian Roulette. The people are saner and the transgenders keep their collective sexual identity mouths shut until their brains splatter against the wall when they lose and someone peeks under the skirt of their still twitching corpse and by then its too late to care. Because, guess what? No one cares about your sexual identity. K&KK’s Stormfront roleplaying mouthpieces are going to hate the non-white, transgendered, homosexual folks regardless of what forum rules you pass. Protect the sensitve Jeneel Jaquays of the world!!!! People should be able to defend themselves rather than looking for ‘Big Brother’ or the lesser intarweb entities called THE MODZ to do it for them. People need a “safe haven” to discuss roleplaying with out fear of persecution and harassment? It’s called face to face communication. On the intarwebs there is no safe place from the tolling fucktards. In internet, no one can hear you scream (unless you have your microphone hooked up).

  87. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    March 1, 2013 9:08 pm

    Time for your daily reminder that it’s up to the BlOwSR turdosphere to help Ernie G recover from a house fire!

    First of all, what house? He lived in a fucking apartment. Can’t he just find another apartment? Or, taking a page from JaMal, are we expected to replace his gaming collection now with our own copies that we should feel obligated to donate?

    Reading on, we learn that Ernie is also unemployed and on disability benefits. Disability benefits – that’s a government entitlement handout, right? I guess GOPagan is out now in promoting poor Ernie’s plight. GOPagan hates those bloody 47%ers that take take take! Ernie has “bad knees” preventing him from working apparently. Bad knees brought on by hauling that gut around, I’m guessing.

    Why does he need our help? He’s sucking on the government tit – they will pay his fucking rent just like they did before the fire. You’re already living the American Dream, Ernie! I suppose they could try to Kickstart a McMansion for Ernie and his “roommate” or something.

    And finally, in a real show of class, Randall has managed to tie his own cancer fund for his wife in with poor Ernie’s misery of losing his apartment to a fire and having bad knees because he weights 275+, riding the Gygax coat tails in true BlOwSR fashion. Hey Randall, if guys like Ernie weren’t living off the government dole by claiming disability for being a fat ass, guys like you who actually work for a living wouldn’t be in debt for your own medical bills that cost ten times as much because you have to pay for theirs as well.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 2, 2013 7:23 am

      Since I know a few people around here obtusely miss the subtlety of my comments (GenghisDong, Miss Francie), I feel it is necessary to point out that I think 275+ pound fatties collecting disability for being a fat fuck is the exception, not the rule, and most people on disability truly and legitimately need it. It is these rare exceptions to the rule, however, that turds like GOPagan and Paul Ryan like to point to to try and say the whole program is corrupted and broken and should therefore be eliminated.

    • March 2, 2013 9:26 am

      The thing is , I feel for him on one level. I had a best friend who lost everything due to a apartment fire. I’d not wish this one anyone. However, why do we have to rally around and support someone? The Red Cross exists for this type of help. True, only a idiot, or Gygax, would not have renter’s insurance, but that is the downside of not being a responsible adult.

      Plus, does not the Gygax family not want to help him out?

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 2, 2013 11:05 am

        I think was some rift in the Gygax family between his sons and Gary’s widow. Not very sure what the details are in paticular but it had come up when they had launched Gygax Magazine. Who knows for sure? Makes me glad I have renters insurance.

  88. Zarathustra permalink
    March 2, 2013 2:14 am

    Bad knees? Aren’t at least 50% of jobs these days centred around sitting down & using a computer/phone?

  89. kent permalink
    March 2, 2013 10:00 am

    Does anybody else enjoy Tao’s video auto-interviews? He comes across as smart enough and passionate enough to listen to for a few minutes. The videos seem to come from a different person to the blog author, no? I designate him as ‘Gamer I Used To Think Was Barmy And Now I Don’t Know For Sure.’

    His approach to AD&D is muck in my eyes, it might be sensible to spread his creativity so thinly if he had 17,000 players to manage. He is eminently mockable for that and his tiresome arrogance after the manner of Napolean’s favourite hamster.

    Writing fiction however is a step up from anything gaming related and I doubt anyone commenting here is qualified to say anything sensible about the Tao’s new enterprise.

    ‘Good luck ya daft bugger!’ say I.

    • GenghisDon permalink
      March 2, 2013 10:34 am


    • kent permalink
      March 2, 2013 12:06 pm

      Ya gotta root for the guy, he’s tryin’.

      • March 2, 2013 12:58 pm

        I watched the entire thing, which is an almost unique rarity for me with 10 min. YouTube videos. His fever-dream deconstruction of the publishing industry is an almost 100% departure from real-life-as-we-know-it, and worth the price of admission. Then witness him preen and fan his plumage during the reading and you realize everything before was just savory gravy, this is the glorious main course.

        The succulent jowls, the swept mane, the sly come-hither unbuttoned shirt — for reals, this cat is the Tom Jones panty-moistener of the D&D crowd.

      • Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
        March 2, 2013 2:16 pm

        I love her beautiful hair.

      • Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
        March 2, 2013 2:26 pm

        Also, its claim that it would not be out boozing, doing drugs, banging local farmgirls and all in those small towns seems 100% plausible. Not hard to believe.

      • kent permalink
        March 2, 2013 3:53 pm

        > the sly come-hither unbuttoned shirt
        I though it was a dressing gown. Dressing gowns are comfy.

        Anyway, all Im saying is lets not confuse RPG publishers/bloggers (Jackasses) with those who write novels (awesome). Artists and writers can behave any way their imagination moves them and expect to be imitated five years down the line. RPG gamers are fetal fatties. Writers are stylish noble beings.

      • March 2, 2013 4:37 pm

        I do not want to contribute to this douche’s sales numbers much less read the fucking thing. Nobody calls “Greater Minnesota” a shithole on my watch! Fuck him! Also has he not heard of the meth revolution? Tool!

        But I rolled low so if we’re doing this, we’re doing this.

      • March 2, 2013 9:48 pm

        We’re doing this. You’re doing this. I want 500 words, bubie.

      • GenghisDon permalink
        March 2, 2013 8:27 pm

        I just rolled a 9, and am glad. Still, best of luck to him.

  90. Timothy permalink
    March 3, 2013 8:11 am

    kent, not all novels are great. You should read some once in a while, you will see what I mean.

    Or pony up and buy Tao’s novel, so Schiz doesn’t have to. Then you can read it, fantasizing about his unbuttoned gown as you plow through the turgid prose, and report back to us.

    • kent permalink
      March 3, 2013 9:35 am

      The older I get the more everything seems like shit to me, Movies, TV, Radio, Art, Novels. Luckily there are plenty of old classics to hunt out. What Im saying though is that even shitty novels and unreadable novels are produced by people with talent because writing fiction is so hard. I have a couple of pals who wanted to become writers and it always amazes me how dreadful the experience of reading fiction can be.

      Im convinced that bloggers and thoughtful posers on forums and rpg publishers think they are very close to being writers. They aren’t. There is a huge gap. HUGE. And if you want to be found out where you stand write fiction.

      Back in the early days when Grognardia was interesting to read, James Maliszewski posted a short piece of fiction which has since been removed as far as I can tell. It was so awful I had to pull my eyebrows back down from the top of my head and hold them in place for a few minutes.

      Im not saying its good but from the excerpts Tao’s fiction seems to me above what might be expected from this community of jackasses and I think he should be cut some slack just wrt the novel. Im not particularly moved to argue the point further.

      • March 3, 2013 10:03 am

        …so you won’t reach around and take over reviewing it for me even if I send you the copy post paid, is what I’m hearing here. Thanks man!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 3, 2013 2:41 pm

        Kunt cannot decide what he wants to do Schiz and leaves you hanging. On one hand *snicker* he is fascinated by Alexass but can’t quite commit to anything other than self aggrandizing masturbatory mummery. On the other hand he is disgusted with himself and hates what he likes, like a transvestite prostitute who can’t quite get up the nerve.Kind of like what happned too me last week when that massage parlor girl who gave me a CCHJ when I just wanted a BBBJ but will teased like she could do more even when I waved a benjamin and a jackson her way. Did I say that out loud?

      • kent permalink
        March 3, 2013 7:01 pm

        >> …so you won’t reach around and take over reviewing it for me even if I send you the copy post paid, is what I’m hearing here. Thanks man!

        Im not rolling on this one given there are are so many players (liars) eager to roll a d20 in the privacy of their homes with same hand they just sniffed after cupping their balls. I was a player once. Never ever trust a player if you can’t plainly see the die he rolled, a die you have certified balanced yourself.

        You rolled a ‘6’. You may as well have rolled ’19’. You are reviewing this baby.

      • March 3, 2013 7:27 pm

        All right, but if my copy is signed I’ll taunt you endlessly with its moist and yielding provenance — pawed by such an apparently romantic figure, the hex-counter with novelistic dreams! — and then donate it to local orphans for to line their feral meat pies. All should expect the damned thing by St. Patrick’s Day.

        Currently drinking: red rose tea to get the figurine

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 3, 2013 11:30 pm

        Good luck Schiz!

      • Kent's Rectum permalink
        March 4, 2013 9:39 am

        “in the privacy of their homes with same hand they just sniffed after cupping their balls”

        I can honestly say that Kent was fingering his own hole (me!) and going in deep with three fingers while he typed this! After a quick waft of his fingers, he cranked one out while fantasizing about the YDIS crowd cupping their ball sacks.

      • March 4, 2013 10:24 am

        @Schiz. I am busy plowing through the turd int he box known as Delving Deeper. I feel sorry for you, for the bullet you are taking. Better you than me.

  91. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    March 3, 2013 7:07 pm

    TL:DR kent can’t ’cause kent’s a kunt.

  92. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 4, 2013 11:28 am

    How does anybody take anything that guy does seriously? He looks and sounds like the living parody of a middle-aged D&D dude. He looks like the creepey older D&D guy who invites Bobby Hill to a game where they are all wearing black robes on King of the Hill, and redneck Hank has to invade his basement with his buddies to save his son from satanism (and a possible buggering).

    The fake looking Gene Simmons Holloween wig is really the true star of the show. Outstandingly humorous.

  93. March 4, 2013 12:07 pm

    Hello to every one on this fair forum. Let me inject myself. I am doktor and i am competition this site :
    Waiting after all these friends.

    • March 4, 2013 12:47 pm

      Thank you Dr. Bag and welcome! Have a safe injection, you may stay awhile and enjoy the wafting odor of cupped balls or estrogen, whichever is to your preference. Are you interested in a job in the RPG industry?

    • ratsliveonnoevilstar permalink
      March 4, 2013 2:26 pm

      Indeed! We the role game industry take by storm, big money made to be invested suckdungeon. One need only send 3 thousand dollars american Canadian Prince Jmalshevski @ for quick response and great profit. Must act now take advantage unique genuine offer!

    • kent permalink
      March 4, 2013 2:26 pm

      You think that’s funny?

      • March 4, 2013 6:03 pm

        I don’t know, a little bit I guess…?

      • ratsliveonnoevilstar permalink
        March 5, 2013 3:56 am

        Yeah, maybe just a little. I did what I could with the meager talents at my disposal. We can’t all be made of solid comedy gold like you.

  94. kent permalink
    March 4, 2013 2:44 pm

    This place is like a club for people with irremovable dogshit on their shoes. Rejects from other clubs, you know? My shoes are resplendent so I think Im done here. What a waste of time it has been.

    Scott’s observation that ydis is somewhere for smart people to act dumb is in hindsight the funniest (dumbest) comment in the history of the blog. In my mind I see Rupert Pupkins in their basements with irremovable dogshit on their slippers contributing ‘material’ to ydis and in the absence of real feedback hitting ‘play’ on an 80’s tapedeck blaring laughter tracks from Johnny Carson.

    YDIS himself is like a fourteen year old selling weed to ex-cons hoping they’ll invite him rob a bank.

    Jeez. Bye Bye Cunts.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      March 4, 2013 2:51 pm

      You’ll be back.

    • March 4, 2013 4:03 pm

      “Rejects from other clubs, you know?”

      You mean like someone who is often banned from online fora?

      Sayonara Dingle-Barry!

    • March 4, 2013 6:09 pm


    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 4, 2013 6:18 pm

      Suck a few dicks on your way out Kunt Dingleberry and don’t let the door hit ya’ where the good lord split ya’!

      • Kent's Rectum permalink
        March 5, 2013 7:34 am

        “don’t let the door hit ya’ where the good lord split ya’!”

        Thank you for that!

    • Zarathustra permalink
      March 5, 2013 12:31 am

      How many histrionic exits has Kunt made now, only to come crawling back each time when his latest alias is banned from whichever board he floats up in like a mysterious, unsinkable turd? About 3? 4?

      • March 5, 2013 6:02 am

        I think Kent is doing his own twisted version of Broke Back Mountain.

        “I can’t quit you YDIS.”

  95. The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
    March 4, 2013 4:26 pm

    kent stomps his little feet, tells us all we are rejects and exits stage left.


  96. jim jones permalink
    March 4, 2013 6:15 pm

    Can some one make sense of this kickstarter, I feel it makes so much sense but is too honest for its own good.

    • Cameron permalink
      March 4, 2013 11:59 pm

      Amusing. Here’s a guy who takes his game-related Kickstarter trolling to an almost Andy-Kaufmann-like level. Gotta admire the energy of the satirist. Gotta wonder about the backers.

      No, wait. No I don’t. I don’t have to wonder about them at all.

      • March 5, 2013 6:07 am

        They are either in on the joke, or do not realize they are part of the joke. You know in Brave Halfling did this, he still would fuck it up.

      • March 5, 2013 7:10 am

        All the comedy is too close to the truth.

        In regards to the “OSR”, if they had a Kickstarter that was actually what it claimed to be then I’d be all for it.

        For example, there was a fundraiser for some miniatures with “pig orcs” and they were repulsively post-modern and not “getting it”. I don’t remember anything in the 80’s depicting orcs with straight up pig heads anywhere except where it got sloppy around the edges. To further enhance that as a straight up pig’s head on a man’s body (“pig furry”) and call it “old school” is fucking so brain dead and dessicatingly stale.

        I’m not touching fundraising with a six hundred and sixty-six foot pole. I’ve never even considered it and lets face it… I’ve always been the trailblazing apex of “internet D&D projects guys” (READ: hopeless moron). Can you imagine if I asked for money for Lejendary Hawaii? Thank the gods that never happened… THE FORBIDDEN HEIAU OF DARK HULA!!! Donors of $500 get the paper lei engraved with the dark Hula logo…

      • GenghisDon permalink
        March 5, 2013 5:17 pm


    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 6, 2013 11:58 pm

      That is the best game ever!

  97. Timothy permalink
    March 5, 2013 7:01 am

    That really hurts, kent. I use the M.A.S.H. laugh track.

  98. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    March 6, 2013 4:56 pm

    Well, now that Kent has left the building, I find myself looking for some new asshats to provide me with entertainment that I can point at and laugh. Today I read the Tangency forum over at Big Purple Dildo, and those social rejects did not disappoint! Check out what First World Problems the brain trust at that Ultra Liberal North Korean Utopia are foaming at the mouth about now:

    Is It okay to breastfeed a child while having sex?
    Oh Noes!!!! Some guys at my university are starting a Pickup Artists club!!!!
    Is there any way to refuse a handshake without seeming like an asshole?
    Tangency, I’m sad for no reason and would really like a hug.

    The Big Lesson they all fail to take home: Big Purple Dildo’s draconian rules and moderation do not apply in the real world and never will, so you’re going to be a sad little pedo bear if you expect otherwise. So get used to it you trannys, fags and wannabe communists using the free wifi at Taco Bell.

    RPGNet Tangency doesn’t allow Google searching, thread viewing or linking without a registered account (because God forbid the world see what a freak show is really going on over there), so you’re on your own.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 6, 2013 5:09 pm

      Forgot to add tags. They like tags there:
      Is It okay to breastfeed a child while having sex? TAG: If You Have To Ask…
      Oh Noes!!!! Some guys at my university are starting a Pickup Artists club!!!! TAG: White Knighting
      Is there any way to refuse a handshake without seeming like an asshole? TAG: Aspergers
      Tangency, I’m sad for no reason and would really like a hug. TAG: Sissy Talk, Furries, Pedo Bear

      • Scott permalink
        March 6, 2013 6:21 pm

        I suspect some of them attend or are employed by universities/departments that are, in effect, moderated at an level. I finished my undergrad degrees at a not-particularly-prestigious state university that isn’t exactly known for being liberal, but both of my departments were eggshell-walking or prime trolling areas, depending on how you looked at things.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        March 8, 2013 7:00 am

        I hadn’t thought about that Scott – how similar RPGNet is run to a state university where “professional” students suck up the taxpayer dollars in their decades long pursuit of First World Problems to get offended by. Oh noes pancakes and grits in the cafeteria is inherently racist and we need to form a subcommittee to bring those racist dieticians before a tribunal!

    • Shitty McTits permalink
      March 11, 2013 1:11 pm

      Wait, Taco Bell has free wifi?

  99. Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
    March 6, 2013 7:49 pm

    Check you calendars , this weekend should be the next BI-weekly ( sorry kent not that type of bi) update at the Dwimmerschlong Cockscarfer page. Such highlights should include JaMal’s continued lack of communication, Tavis’ continued lack of reporting on JaMal’s said lack of communication, updates on any crap that got sent out to placate pissed backers, and another unintelligible chart to summarize it.
    I wonder how many updates will go by before Tavis finally openly calls JaMal out as a douchebag ?

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 7, 2013 12:12 am

      Considering Steve Jackson’s OGRE and Rich Burlew’s OotS kickstarters have thousands of adoring asskissers, despite producing Jack and Shit, I doubt the die hard Dwimmermount enthusiasts will lose any love of JaMal asshole any time soon either. That said I do think that Tavis will reach a point of no return shortly. Time will tell how soon.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        March 7, 2013 4:05 am

        I’d wager Jam the Scam is desperately praying he’ll be able to find Tavis somehow in breach of contract and successfully sue so he can get more money while keeping his thumb firmly up his ass and producing nothing. Regardless the JaMal should probably be considered in breach himself for being a lazy assed, worthless, no goodnik with nothing but a lame assed bag of excuses for failing to ever carry through with a project.

    • March 7, 2013 4:08 am

      Tavis is Lawful, remember he proudly proclaimed this when people were saying Tavis and Company were thieves. Tavis will never call out James, instead he will be passive aggressive.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      March 7, 2013 11:42 am

      Heh. “Dwimmerschlong Cockscarfer.”

      I was thinking how it is now well past the acceptable stage where Jamal could have chimed up with a couple sentences of “Sorry about all the mess guys, my head was in a really fucked up place” (notice the lack of hoity toity words like “indeed” and “Indubitably”) “and it was pretty dark because of what was going on with my dad. I just wanted to say that I am working through it and am going to do my best to make it up each and every person who supported me emotionally (my lovely family) and financially (the sucker…uh, I mean noble gamers out there). Give me a chance to make it up, that is all I ask.”

      That would have helped out Tavis and anybody else who had to feel the heat of his failings. But of course, that is what a man would do and despite having once found a female willing to mate with him against all odds and use his ill gotten gains to shower riches on his children, this jackoff is far less than a man.

      • Grifty McGrifterson permalink
        March 7, 2013 4:54 pm

        So I’m a bit confused with all the Dwimmerdouche discussions on the various big weewee forums like rpgnet etc. some folks are saying Jscam’s dad croaked…I have seen no evidence of this in any of his postings, Tavis’ or his wife’s public blogs. I also see no evidence of severe mental strain, stress or illness either. Nearly everyone on those forums continues to make excuses and bend backwards to white knight the overall “triumph of mediocrity” that is the whole sordid ks affair though. I know this post may seem rather callous, but for cliff sakes most if not all of us have been through similar tragedies. Life does kick you square in the respective genitalia sometimes but we all press on.
        I guarantee you if a complete stranger came up and scammed these folks out of 2, 20, 150 bucks…they’d be screaming and crying foul like little bitches.
        I’m just curious if anyone has heard anything further? To satisfy my own morbid curiousity if nothing else…

      • Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
        March 7, 2013 10:00 pm

        Well CKDB, you hit the nail on the head, and if not that, at least transfer the money back for refunds or even include the I.P. rights as well so it can just be finish by others.

        Any word from wmarshall ?

      • Shitty McTits permalink
        March 11, 2013 1:16 pm

        “Far less than a man”….but far more than a BASTARD!

  100. Schadenfreude permalink
    March 7, 2013 5:34 pm

    Marketing genius at work! An actual quote, from Bloodymage, on

    “Well, this is not one of my favorite boards but I have product to sell, so I’m registering for an account.”

    Customers *love* being talked down to! Bloodymage’s financial problems are solved!

    • March 8, 2013 5:52 am

      Any guess when BM will show up here? Hell, we’ve brought him more attention than his efforts.

    • March 8, 2013 6:19 am

      I think BM is trying to apply the Raggi marketing model (i.e., treat your customers like idiots and occasionally show some contempt). Unfortunately, BM isn’t ‘edgy’ enough to make it work.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 8, 2013 6:54 am

      Well, you have to appreciate Bloodymage’s honesty I guess.

      Love how Big Purple Dildo instantly banned him as a common spammer after one post, but knowing full well who he actually is, left the thread open so their cesspool of members could mock away in a draconian-moderation-free zone without fear of retribution. Kind of like their own little YDIS. Let them eat cake!

      And hey, we got a nice plug in that thread!

      • Timothy permalink
        March 8, 2013 8:36 am

        Ha, ha, nice. BM did kinda channel his inner Faggi there. Funny that a couple of those dolts took it as sarcasm rather than sheer incompetence/stupidity.

        And that dude who gave us the shoutout – post your love HERE, bitch! You know you want to…

  101. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 8, 2013 11:11 am

    Oh Blooeymage, you complete me.

    Either BM is all super-confident and sly-pimpy from tapping his squinty, drooling dog walker friend, or he’s grumpy because she dumped him for a wheelchair-bound, comic book collecting retarded guy. Perhaps smitten with him after seeing him struggle with eating a bowl of noodles at the Chinese restaurant and offered to get him a helper-animal like she did for ol’ Blooey.

  102. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 8, 2013 11:19 am

    (awesome avatar by Dire ape)

  103. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 8, 2013 7:40 pm

    Good god, yet another gem from Dragonsshit…

    Dude wants opinions on why he got kicked out of a group for his character. The guy has a quote in a positive light of recent murderer and mega-loser Chris Dorner as his signature, and we are supposed to wonder why people kicked him out of a group? He obviously was a freak who creeped them out.

    Even better, only one of the stupid fucks even calls that fact out. The rest are all “Oh, you are better off without them” and “you’ll find another group.” What a pack of nimrods and sociopaths. If you had any doubt that most gamers are weird fucktards this should dispel them.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 9, 2013 12:22 am

      Threads where social retards give other social retards advice are always entertaining.

      I see our favorite KKK Beer House racist vargr1105 makes an appearance there as well, getting FreddyP to admit he was playing 3.5 D&D, not the OSR My Precious edition, so he could go on the attack and blame the system for not allowing him to truly “roleplay” his alcoholic failure of a cleric. But we all know from K&K Alehouse why vargr1105 really hates 3.5 – that’s the edition they let the “Negroes and Chineses” into the artwork!!!

      It’s painfully obvious the real reason FreddyP was kicked out of the game was because they didn’t want his creepy ass around their young daughters. Plus it was Karma for booting that poor HIV+ gentleman out of his game years ago. That was a real shitty thing to do.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 9, 2013 12:46 am

      Here’s my advice for these people who get kicked out of gaming groups and then go and complain on a message board: When an entire group of people reject you and kick you out, 99 times out of 100, it’s you. If it happens more than once in your life, 100 times out of 100, it’s you. (Poor, deluded Kent the Kunt comes to mind.)

      There are always two sides to every story, and without hearing from the other folks involved, your tale of woe rings hollow. Telling you that you are better off without that group and that you will find another group is untrue, unfair and only enables you to continue your socially retarded behavior and not examine it as a root cause.

      When people tell you that your roleplaying style just doesn’t fit with theirs, that’s usually a courtesy and they are trying to be tactful and diplomatic. They either don’t want to tell you the real reason (poor hygiene, you are an asshole, or just creep them out) or don’t want to deal with the real reason (you are trying to mack on their teenage daughters). This too may seem unfair for the same reasons given above, but it is considered a socially acceptable way of handling these kinds of situations, and most people who aren’t socially retarded can usually read between the lines.

      I wonder if I can get those Gygax Magazine guys to let me write an advice column?

      • March 9, 2013 5:10 am

        Your advice column would make that magazine 100% better. What a steaming turd that first issue is. Nothing but a circle jerk, back slapping affair.

  104. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    March 9, 2013 1:11 am

    Funny that they tend to focus on character and game system as the probably versus the fact that the guy may well be a creepy and dysfunctional douchebag of epic proportions. Booting someone for being HIV+? Really? I don’t know the history of that one and can’t be arsed out to research it cause the guy’s not worth my fifteen seconds of searching. Beats me, but the Chris Dorner quote does shine an unenviable light on the guy and I can’t help but picture him swooning over pictures of Charles Whitman.

    • GenghisDon permalink
      March 9, 2013 8:49 am

      I haven’t read any of the posts regarding this gamer getting kicked out of a group, but Chris Dorner quotes bury him? Nonsense. The only good pig is a dead pig.

      • deathsdj permalink
        March 9, 2013 9:56 pm

        Gdong you are an idiot. The worst poster at DF is now bringing his B game to YDIS. You better run back home before they get a whiff of your mangina and you get banned. You suck. Your homo house rules suck. Go back to your gay porn before you get slapped. Pig.

      • Timothy permalink
        March 10, 2013 9:25 am

        GengisDung, you’ll go whining and screaming to the police when your worthless life is threatened. Hopefully they will know what you think of them, that you mock their fallen comrades, and will linger over their donuts instead of pulling your sorry bitch ass out of trouble.


      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        March 10, 2013 12:35 pm


        GhengisDong is the new Kent.

        Carry on, suckdungeon fans.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        March 10, 2013 4:05 pm

        FYI Ghengishitforbrains, I’ve always said that the pigs of today are the bacon of tomorrow. But his first victim was the daughter of a guy who supposedly wronged him, and her boyfriend if I am not mistaken. They never met nor harmed him and he gunned them down like dogs. That is when he become a piece of shit terrorist instead of a righteous, vengeful crusader, which only true losers become. And losers like you identify with that. Why don’t you go back to DF and carry on your endless circle jerk with the unblown. None of what you have shared here sets you above those morons.

      • GenghisDon permalink
        March 10, 2013 8:56 pm

        I don’t identify with Dorner at all, but killing a guy’s kid to fuck him up is REALLY viscous. One needs some real hate for that. I really wonder how he got there. I don’t condone or particularily like it (the innocents killed), but it was priceless seeing the LA pigs shooting at old asian ladies & anyone in a truck; showing EXACTLY how much the LAPD was concerned with serving & protecting vs protecting their own asses at any cost.

        My lack of concern for thugs/mafia/pigs (or banksters)’ lives extends somewhat to their families. Yes, my bad, on that. Feel free to revoke my bleeding heart liberal card in self righteous nerd rage if you please. Dorner was one of their own; may they kill each other until there are none left. Bad things happening to bad people’s families can be called karma; it isn’t right, or nice, or even acceptable, but there is no “right” or justice anywhere to be found. Too fucking bad if you want me to give a shit about those fucks, I’ll shed a tear for the millions of other injustices in the world instead.

        I’d not waste time calling a pig for any reason, nor would I ever expect them to help me in any way if I did…in fact I’d expect them to make any situation worse than if they were unaware of it.

        Yeah, YDIS posters, you go on circle jerking about OSR crap nobody but you reads or cares about, or small potatoes scams that get your ass-cunts
        all wet. That people here think they are above dogshit on the sidewalk is

      • Timothy permalink
        March 11, 2013 6:53 am

        You are a real piece of work, GengisDung.

        While it is nice that you “don’t condone or particularily like it (the innocents killed),” you laugh your shriveled ass off at cops shooting old asian ladies. And your amusement at police getting killed extends to their families.

        Know what, boy? Most gamers who are online read this site, including your DF buttbuddies. And now everyone knows what a piece of bitter shit you are, shaking your little impotent finger at us, and laughing at the families of cops’ lawyers getting killed.

        You can’t hide, faggot. Maybe you and vargr1105 and Poagie and the Brave Fagling and Jimmiemal can do some kinda group hug, since you (and other worthless dickbags) have been exposed for everyone to see.

      • GenghisDon permalink
        March 11, 2013 12:29 pm

        I’ve got news for you, tiny-dick Tim, pretty much everyone is a piece of work. Laugh my ass off at victims of pigs? Nope, I’m just pleased that the public is forced to get a good look at their protector’s true face. As for hiding, you are a fucking moron even to think that I am. You are truly pathetic if you think sexual slurs from a 40 year old virginal shit stain of a child like you are gonna upset me.

        Oh Noes, he accused me of being a homosexual, racist, conservative &/or religious zealot & a scam artist (or of having a poor work ethic, perhaps). What will I do now?


      • Timothy permalink
        March 12, 2013 6:33 am


        I specifically call you out for laughing at dead innocents – which you did, you sad little bitch – and you try to accuse me of calling you a conservative.

        Your precious impotence is so entertaining…

        Your turn for the last word in 3…2…1…

      • Jim permalink
        March 13, 2013 2:19 am

        GenghisDon, You’re coming across as a cunt.

    • GenghisDon's Rectum permalink
      March 10, 2013 9:41 pm

      I’ll just leave this here because if GenghisDon is the new Kent, we’re going to need it.

      • Timothy permalink
        March 11, 2013 6:55 am

        Hah, good to see some integrity from that particular keyboard. I am sure you will offer more insightful commentary than the other end.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 11, 2013 9:30 am

        Good idea. Kent Dingleberry and now, GenghisDong have both left in a huff and proclaim victory by default after pissing themselves into a corner. YDIS needs to reward them in a special way as the sphincter muscles they are.

      • GenghisDon permalink
        March 11, 2013 12:09 pm

        left in a huff? I don’t think so, fucktard

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 11, 2013 12:48 pm

        Good for you turdbiscut! I like a little fight now and then.

      • Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
        March 11, 2013 8:30 pm

        I think he meant to say you left to go huff some boners….

      • GenghisDon permalink
        March 11, 2013 9:20 pm

        No, that’s just what you’d have done, turd breath

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 11, 2013 9:30 pm

        Hey GonorrheaDong, didn’t you and Kunt have a thing going on? Inquiring minds want too know!

      • GenghisDon permalink
        March 12, 2013 1:17 am

        Since you asked so nicely…

  105. Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
    March 9, 2013 5:58 am

    A commenter on the Dwimmerschlong Cockscarfer page points out that it is approaching three months since there has been any direct contact between JaMal and Autarch. Tavis response is “I’ll talk more about the plan in this week’s update; basically we’re at the stage of increasing efforts to re-establish contact.”


    Here’s a plan, strap a pre-paid cell phone and a bottle of Prozac to a carrier pigeon and send it to Toronto.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 9, 2013 8:12 am

      It might be better to send a crappy old RPG like, Man, Myth and Magic with the pre-paid cell phone and Prozac inside to the JaMal compound. I noticed that Grognardia is languishing on the blog vine with no updates since Dec. 11, I would have expected JaMal to crawl out of the hole and give a long winded screed about why he doesn’t want to write or do anything game related by now but he remains MIA at this point.

      • March 9, 2013 10:14 am

        How dare you! You know he is still grieving over something. I think. Maybe it is due to Lucas selling Star Wars to Disney. You know he took the Star Trek reboot so well.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 9, 2013 1:20 pm

        He’s only grieving over the fact that he can only pull this kind of scam once. He probably is thinking of ways to start anew with another blog under an assumed name and identity. The telling point will be the milquetoast pseudo intellectual horseshit mixed with catholic self hate reviews of himself while he was at InQuest.

    • Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
      March 9, 2013 12:48 pm

      … and what do you mean by “re-establish contact ??”
      I’m sorry, was there a fault in your AE-35 antenna unit ??
      “Open the *Pod Bay doors please jaMAL….”
      “Do you read me?? , Open the pod bay doors jaMAL”
      “I’m sorry Tavis, I’m afraid I can’t do that ….”
      “Daisy, Daaiiiiiissyyyyy….”

      *( and by Pod bay doors I mean your fucking email …)

    • March 11, 2013 12:32 pm

      Tavis Saturday: The Kickstarter update, normally on Friday, is delayed for some usual reasons (fussy babies, day job deadlines), an unusual one (my wife’s birthday), and also the chance of having some new developments to report on that I wouldn’t want to wait two weeks to broadcast. It’ll go out Sunday at the latest.

      Tavis Sunday: Bad: the new developments I’d hoped for didn’t materialize, and my chance to update on Sunday has gone with them (at least on East Coast time). Good: the downloads area now has notes on converting Muntburg to ACKS and Domains at War, and an updated spreadsheet supporting same, which I had a good time writing and hope you’ll enjoy.


      Hi Tavis, happy to hear you’re having a good time on the spreadsheets this hobby is all about fun. Sorry about the broken foot and everything. Hey, I might not be a fancy Omnimedia Consultant but by my math, the Pope went AWOL 82 days ago now, so efforts to reframe the timeline as “more than 60 days, not yet 90” are getting flimsy. Pretty soon now, it will be mathematically impossible for Jamal to have spent more time working on this thing than otherwise. Just thought you would want to know.

      Speaking of which, my fine fucks, yes I downloaded that fucking ebook and am working on my book report.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        March 11, 2013 7:07 pm

        Is ‘Muntburg’ a colloquial shortening for ‘Man Cunt Burg’? Did Kent write this or something?

      • Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
        March 11, 2013 8:42 pm

        …and don’t forget, April 14th is right around the corner..
        according to my calculations that means Update #49 on the Dwindlefunds corkstuffer page will be addressing why a year has past since being funded …

  106. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    March 10, 2013 12:33 pm


    Answer: If you want lots of empty rooms, JaMal’s Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon will not disappoint!

  107. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 10, 2013 4:10 pm

    I can’t tell if the below quote is a joke or not, but I chillingly, distrubingly have a feeling the guy is being serious. A true “Dwimmermount” man!

    “I prefer to run PCs through a mostly empty dungeon. When the dungeon is occupied by intelligent monsters, such as orcs, it can become a headache to change all your notes around to deal with how they would respond to an incursion.”

    • March 10, 2013 4:25 pm

      If that is from Dragonsfoot, I do not think it is a joke, but a serious game design theory. The members of Dragonsfoot have no idea of humor or sarcasm.

  108. Zarathustra permalink
    March 10, 2013 5:15 pm

    “I usually like to run my dungeons using the “pocket universe” theory of DMing…. Whatever happens in one room in the dungeon has zero effect on anything outside of said room. A raging battle with 8 orcs in a room filled with glass vases? Go for it — the sleeping dragon in the other room will have no idea what’s going on. Sure, it’s not realistic, but it sure does simplify things for me.”

    Either that entire thread is a parody on par with that genius “No Clothes Kickstarter” guy, or they seriously find it too mentally taxing to have to decide what a bunch of orcs will do when someone breaks in to steal their stuff.

    I mean, at the same time they also have to keep up the rich, Poe-esque atmosphere they’ve carefully constructed by having empty room after empty room, some with scary stuff like manacles & black liquid (which does nothing) in.

  109. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 11, 2013 11:30 am

    News flash! Bloodymage, oh captain my captain, has opened an Amazon store on his site! Basically I think you set up a link and if somebody goes through it to buy something at Amazon, Blooey gets a nominal cut to help him keep the pirate ship afloat!

    One guy on DF has nodded his approval and support! Things are looking up for our hero.

    • March 11, 2013 12:19 pm

      I hope he has talked to an accountant about taxes, sales tax and the like. Oh, who am I fucking kidding, he has not.

    • March 11, 2013 12:24 pm

      Oh God, those things bring in like five bucks a fiscal quarter.

      • Shitty McTits permalink
        March 11, 2013 3:01 pm

        Hey, five bucks will get you a blowjob from Kent and Squinty Dogwalker at the same time, *and* three bucks change. Can’t beat that!

      • March 11, 2013 3:06 pm

        What are they wearing?

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 11, 2013 7:03 pm

      Is this the new YE OLDE SHOPPE? Can I finally buy the Tampon Magic book?

      Christ, what brilliant moneymaking scheme will Bloodymage come up with next? Become an Amway affiliate? Sell Avon?

  110. Cameron permalink
    March 12, 2013 12:20 am

    Oh, my. I clicked the link:

    I am nonplussed.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 12, 2013 6:12 am

      tl, dr:
      My poor health what am I thinking?
      GoDaddy and LegalZoom put on notice!
      My game’s a bust – nobody showed up!
      Waiting on my service dog.
      Wrote my last will and testament with LegalZoom!
      WordPress flummoxes!
      Ah, so that’s what spam is!
      We may have a cartographer. Maybe. Still need everyone else.
      You can now pay me $1000 to be my Webmaster!
      “The Stink in Golanda” for OSRIC now available…
      …but not at RPGNow yet.
      BTW, you don’t have to pay your $1000 investment all at once…
      Webmistress is back!
      This has gone on to long – I’m not a blogger!
      I need to bring in some cash.
      This is getting harder and harder what with my health and home maintenance.
      My site was sabbotaged!
      We’ll have a new look soon!

      That’s as tl, dr as it gets, I’m afraid.

      • March 12, 2013 7:43 am


        You can now pay me $1000 to be my Webmaster!

        Is some funny sit. Leave it to BM to come up with a reverse way to get help

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 12, 2013 6:14 am

      Bloodymage is like the anti-JaMal: TOO MUCH INFO!

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 12, 2013 8:06 am

      Give credit where credit is due, BM named the title of that ‘blog’ dead on!
      For the rest..holy FUCK!

  111. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 12, 2013 12:04 pm

    Heh. “Stink in Golanda.” Sounds like a mid-90’s gangbang porn featuring Ron Jeremy as head stinker.

    It does sound like a great module to run my new dwarf PC “Dwimmerschlong Cockscarfer” in.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 12, 2013 12:18 pm

      I read it too fast. I thought it was called ‘The Stink in the Gondola’. I thought it was about the sewage-filled canals of some fantasy version of Venice, which actually might make a cool setting for a fantasy adventure. Clearly it’s about the Stink Down in the Pink instead. Golanda must be modeled after Bloodymage’s girlfriend that he picked up at the Special Olympics.

      No longer thinking about fish tacos for dinner now…

    • Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
      March 12, 2013 6:22 pm

      I read it as “The Stinkin Gonad”. sounds like the name of a tavern/brothel.
      Love the name of that dwarf except when you use it in that context it makes it sound like he was the victim of a Raggi table.
      Rolled an 8 on a 1d12, result: cockscarfer. The recipient of this effect must huff down on a boner for a full uninterrupted 10 minutes once every 3 hours or lose a point of CON. effect is cumulative.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        March 12, 2013 6:51 pm

        Were the Stinky Gonads cupped and then whiffed?

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        March 13, 2013 11:22 am

        Naw, Cockscarfer Curse is too obvious. For Raggi crap you gotta be all weird and baffling. “Dwimmerschlong” might be a better table entry. “You touch the idol and now you have a ‘Dwimmerschlong'”

        “Wha..what the fuck is a “Dwimmer?’ What does it mean? Oh lord, I’m afraid to look…”

      • Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
        March 13, 2013 6:55 pm

        ..your right CKDB, I forgot. How ’bout we throw some meta-gaming effects in there too.. ? The DM gets to stuff the PC’s character sheet down the front of his underpants for a 24 hour period..

        AS, it was in Kent’s BDSM mega-dungeon, they were whipped then cuffed

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      March 12, 2013 10:42 pm

      This just in, breaking news on the BloodyMage Saga: “Lots of friction between my fiance and me and flying in on a wing and a prayer but we’ll be there! :)”

      • Jim permalink
        March 13, 2013 1:59 am

        I’m feeling kinda bad for bloodymage, he’s emptying his guts all over the internet someone please take his keyboard away the fucker needs help. He has been a basket case on DF for years. Genghisdon, on the other hand is a total cunt.

      • Zarathustra permalink
        March 13, 2013 6:18 am

        So he’s marrying that dog-walker already? At least we know she’s not a gold-digger. I bet that old smoothy made her buy into the marriage with a $5000 dowry. He’s straight pimpin’ now.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        March 13, 2013 7:59 am

        All is right again for Bloodymage and his fair lady!

  112. ratsliveonnoevilstar permalink
    March 13, 2013 5:24 am

    Evidently the runaway success and concomitant mad cash grab of the P&P OSR have inspired at least one of the computer RPG luminaries of the ’80s and ’90s to throw his hat into the, “I invented [in the sense that Al Gore invented the Interenet] this shit, so I must be a friggin’ genius. Ergo, I’m going to pontificate endlessly about what constitutes the perfect, “Ultimate” RPG, and then proceed to raise cash to build it!”, arena. Yes, kent and gentlemen, I give you the inimitable, the always scintillating, the Robert J. Kuntz of the keyboard, Lord British (aka Richard Garriott)! He’s been working toward creating the awesomest ever computer game since before there even were computer games! He’s been to outer space (this part is true)! He knows what you want, and what you need, and is just the man to give it to you… someday.

    O how the mighty have fallen in the midst of… aw screw it:

    The first of you jokers to say you never heard of Lord British and never played the Ultima games must turn in his membership badge and bec-de-corbin to the political officer immediately, and exit the premises.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 13, 2013 6:00 am

      Sounds like Rob Cuntz. Attempting, but never actually doing…

      • ratsliveonnoevilstar permalink
        March 13, 2013 7:13 am

        Oh, he’s done plenty, just not this century. He’s definitely as out of touch as RJK, though. It’s sad, really. They both clearly desperately wish they were still (or in RJK’s case, ever) relevant in their respective fields, but the moment is past.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 13, 2013 9:57 am

      Also, sounds like Gene Weigel when he’s on his meds and focused.

    • March 13, 2013 10:44 am

      Which one is the bec-de-corbin again, my Unearthed Arcana fell apart. That Lord British thing endlessly TL;DFR. The thing about computer games is they evolved, developed, got better. Guys are still making a good living making them. It’s not like fucking tabletop where people scratch through a layer of volcanic ash and marvel that in ancient times B meant balrog and $ meant treasure chest to those toga-wearing savages. Either British is still relevant or he ain’t.

  113. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    March 13, 2013 8:27 am

    Check out these product reviews for Bloodymage:

    I especially love the one star review he got for selling a product in the native desktop layout software format rather than exporting it as a PDF. Bloodymage then thanks the reviewer, babbles on for a bit, and finally apologizes for his “abysmal computer skills”.

    I particularly want to meet the one guy who gave him a five star review for Stink in Golanda’s Pink and administer several neurological and psychiatric tests. Then maybe buy him a beer for being brave enough to throw down $10.50 for the thing.

    • March 13, 2013 10:19 am

      I’ll give him credit for using Scribus. But man, someone needs to give him $1000 so they can do the work for him.

    • March 13, 2013 10:49 am

      I like the three-star review where the reviewer had not actually received the product. Seriously, WTF?

      • March 13, 2013 1:18 pm

        He used to have a sample adventure on his website that you could download for free. It was like a 20-page textwall, the only formatting was HUGE sections done in a 10% background shade that were to be read aloud. If the document was 10,000 words then like 9,750 words were supposed to be read aloud to the players. I browsed through it and and then dumped it and now I’m kicking myself because I can’t find it on his website anymore.

        The writing was gorgeously inept.

  114. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    March 13, 2013 1:57 pm

    I had first looked thru Blooeymage’s website on my old computer months ago, and got virus’ up the ying yang. My comp busted out in oozing pustules and started floating around the room cackling like Baron Harkonnen.

    I’m staying a million miles away from his shit from now on. The very internet itself is rejecting it, like the natural world used to do to vampires before they got turned into shirtless pretty boy fags. Fully unwholesome.

    If Blooey is going to a con with his lassie (see the dog connection I put in there?), anybody who can get a photo of him with her gets to go in the hall of the Hateful Gamers for all eternity. The bounty has been offered!

  115. March 13, 2013 5:13 pm

    Shit just got real:

    Domains at War, Discounts, and Possible Resolutions
    Update #47 · Mar. 13, 2013 · 10 comments

    What’s the current status of the Dwimmermount project?
    Dwimmermount’s creator James Maliszewski signed a contract with Autarch that transferred the money we raised on Kickstarter and the responsibility for delivering the promised rewards to him. We understand that James is grieving for his father, but we have to confront the fact that he is currently not living up to this responsibility and discuss what Autarch can do for backers to make good on our own responsibility to you.

    When will rewards be delivered?
    When Autarch started talking with James about helping him use crowdfunding to publish his megadungeon, he told us to set the estimated delivery dates as June 2012 for the PDF and August for the physical items. After it was clear he would not be able to meet his original date, I worked with him to project a revised schedule for delivery of the PDF in March 2013 with hardcovers due in April. We agreed on a structure of weekly conference calls to create accountability and transparency for his progress toward that goal. As of today, it has been three months since James has taken part in these conference calls. The March date is now past and it has not been possible to establish a new schedule because James has been avoiding direct communication with us since his last email on 12/19/12. We still have faith that his honor and integrity will lead him to address his responsibilities on this project, but we can’t predict when that will be.

    What is Autarch doing to make things right for the project’s backers?
    We understand that what you’d most like to have is the Dwimmermount rewards you selected in exchange for pledging to this Kickstarter. Fulfilling the key rewards depends on James, but there are many good options he could take to complete the project with little further effort on his part. Autarch’s role at this point is to keep making progress on those areas we can without James, while continuing to make efforts to communcate with him. The goals of this communication will to be sure he understands his options, the urgency of taking action, and the potential consequences of inaction.

    We also understand that you would have liked to have these rewards on the date they were promised to you. Since that’s no longer possible, we recognize the need for restitution. I’ll discuss how we’ll be doing that below.

    Ongoing Efforts

    In update #45, Autarch decided to give the backers a bonus goal we didn’t reach in the original campaign, a mass-combat scenario for Dwimmermount using our Domains at War rules. The first installment toward that goal – a look at how the fortress of Muntburg could resist a siege if the denizens of the mega-dungeon rose up against it – is now available for download at this link if you’re a backer with an Autarch account configured for access or through the webform. The scenario will be playable with the Domains at War starter edition, which is free for anyone to download at this link.

    Working on the Domains at War scenario has also generated progress on an aspect of the basic Dwimmermount project that can be worked on in James’ absence, the Adventurer Conqueror King System conversion. The ACKS spreadsheet has been updated to include information on Muntburg’s garrison and economics, as well as corrected stronghold construction values; it’s available to backers at this link or via webform.

    Autarch Discount Offer

    As a further way to make things right, Autarch is planning to give Dwimmermount backers a discount on any of our products based on the value of your pledge to this Kickstarter. You’ll be able to use this discount on our existing Adventurer Conqueror King System and ACKS Player’s Companion in PDF or hardback; apply it to any of the reward levels in our upcoming Domains at War campaign; or use it for the Auran Empire Campaign Setting or any of the other releases we have in the pipeline, which we’ll let you know about ahead of their release. We started Autarch to create cool stuff for your gaming table, and want this offer to be a way to get back to doing what we love.

    We know that because many of you already have everything Autarch has put out so far, or contributed more to Dwimmermount than we currently have to give you in return, you may need to wait to take full advantage of this offer. To make up for that delay we’d like to give you twice as much in discounts as your original pledge, rounded up. If you put in $25, you’ll get coupons worth $50; if you were in for $132, you’ll get $270 in coupons. We’re expecting to get these to backers via individual email by the end of the month, after taking some time to answer questions about the plan and make adjustments based on your feedback or factors we haven’t considered yet.

    Each coupon will be redeemable for a $10 discount. Initially, we’re going to limit it to one coupon per product. Planning to cover costs as a publisher is always difficult, and we need to keep the coupons from being an unpredictable factor that breaks the bank. Knowing that each single product won’t be discounted for more than $10 lets us be certain we can afford to honor this offer. Once a project reaches the point where we can replace projections with real numbers, we may be able to accept more of your coupons for the specific thing you want. If it turns out we’ve got nothing on the shelves or on the slate that interests you, you’ll be able to trade or sell your coupons to other people looking to get a good deal on Autarch’s current and future catalog.

    Using these coupons in no way affects your right to receive the Dwimmermount rewards you pledged for. Fulfilling those is James’ responsibility, and only he has the funds to do so or to offer a refund if he can’t. We remain eager to help him do that. Autarch is not washing our hands of this project, just making the discount offer as something we can do for the backers with our own resources.

    Potential Next Steps

    Many of us have experienced how grief and stress can make it difficult to muster any sustained mental effort. Fortunately, James has a range of options that would quickly restart progress on fulfilling the Dwimmermount rewards.

    His work in writing the draft is done, and from our weekly conversations I have a good understanding of his vision of how the draft should be developed and polished into a final product. If he transferred the remaining funds to Autarch and licensed us the copyright to Dwimmermount’s text and art, I’m confident we could complete and release his megadungeon in a form he could be proud of, incorporating as much or as little of his further effort as he wants to invest. We’ve made this offer to James and prepared a simple contract that we think requires little review or discussion.
    If he mistrusts his own judgement under his current circumstances, he could just as quickly appoint a trusted representative who could take all the time necessary to negotiate an arrangement that addressed James’ interests and concerns.
    If James doesn’t want to work with Autarch for whatever reason, I’ve offered to put him in contact with other publishers wanting to pursue a similar transfer of funds and copyright so that they could release the rewards.
    If he wants to release Dwimmermount through his own Grognardia Games, James could minimize the weight on his shoulders by hiring an editor, developer, and/or project manager – or accepting the help of volunteers like myself – who could keep the delivery of the Kickstarter rewards on track.

    Why Hasn’t James Taken Action On These Options?

    Speaking plainly, when people do things that hurt themselves and others and contradict their normal values we say they are out of their mind. When we add that someone is out of their mind with grief or out of their mind with stress, it helps us understand and sympathize with where they’re coming from while still recognizing that they are being irrational. We can also use the opposite language to talk about when people have been or will be in their right mind.

    In the period of taking stock after James stopped returning my calls or emails, it became clear that he never paid cartographers Rob Conley and Chris Hagerty for their freelance contributions to Dwimmermount. Rob’s maps were completed in the fall of 2012, Chris’s in December. James’ failure to pay artists for their work harms them and their families; harms his reputation and ability to undertake future projects; and goes against the values he demonstrated when we started planning this project.

    All of us had worked as freelancers, although he had a much longer list of credits than everyone else put together and had even worked for Alex before in his role as publisher of the Escapist. That went smoothly, but every freelancer hears about or encounters jobs that don’t. Prior to launch, I recommended that James should commission some art done to use in the campaign. He was concerned that commissioning work before the money was there could lead to artists not getting paid, so I fronted their payment out of pocket in the confidence that the campaign would be successful, and he repaid me personally once he had the funds from Autarch.

    The James I knew then was concerned with making sure fellow freelancers were treated well. I feel it’s not like him to withhold payment from his artists indefinitely, given that he has the backers’ funds in hand and a mandate to turn it into awesome stuff to give to them in return. When I say that I trust in his honor and integrity, I mean that sooner or later James will be in his right mind again and will do the right thing.

    Over the last three months Autarch has been seeking advice from other publishers, lawyers, gamers, and friends; we’re lucky to know some people who are all of these at once! Based on this input, we believe that the best next step is for me to visit James and see if meeting in person will help resolve the impasse.

    As always, we welcome your feedback and input. In addition to leaving comments and sending messages through the Kickstarter site, you can request an invitation to the Mages of the Mountain community on G+ if you’re not already a member; send me an email at; or call me at (917) 749-6938. I will be leaving for GaryCon tonight, and although I may get the chance to talk to some of you there I may not respond to online communication until after the weekend. If you’d like to send a letter to James, you can mail it to me at Tavis Allison , 541 W. 113th St. #2E , New York, NY 10025 and I will forward it to him unopened:



    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      March 13, 2013 6:50 pm

      “Autarch is planning to give Dwimmermount backers a discount on any of our products based on the value of your pledge to this Kickstarter.”
      Yeah. Give you more money. Tavis is an asshole. Each of those Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon backers should get his entire product catalog FREE OF CHARGE at this point.

      “We still have faith that his honor and integrity will lead him to address his responsibilities on this project, but we can’t predict when that will be.”

      Then you are a dumb fuck, Tavis, and any Kickstarter backer who still thinks the same deserves the assfucking JaMal the Scam gave them.

      Here’s your one and only option remaining, Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon Suckers:

      CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT vs. Autarch and JaMal.

    • March 13, 2013 6:57 pm

      Something broke over the weekend and now Tavis wants this liability off his fucking plate ASAP.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      March 13, 2013 7:37 pm

      This is telling. Now, Tavis comes close to calling JaMal out on several points,but backs off because he is over a barrel on this. He points out JaMal’s of communication, JaMal being a jack ass and not paying artists and cartographers.What’s interesting is Tavis paying freelancers out of his own pocket and now Autarch Games giving discount coupons on their own games. Yeah..I think Schiz is right, something broke and Tavis wants out. Fun times.

      • Scott permalink
        March 13, 2013 7:48 pm

        I don’t know much about contract law (and I don’t think it’s very well-defined in the crowdsourcing arena yet anyway) but I suspect someone advising Tavis does. I’ve thought for a while that either on their own or with someone’s advise, Autarch was mitigating damages in preparation for potential litigation.

        (Short version of the mitigation doctrine, based on my dim remembrance of two contracts classes taken over a decade ago, is that if you’re damaged by someone’s breach of contract, then you’re obligated to take whatever reasonable steps you can to reduce damages to yourself resulting from the breach instead of just saying fuck it, I’m out $50k and suing them for the whole amount.)

      • Scott permalink
        March 13, 2013 7:49 pm

        *advice. Also durrr hurrr

    • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
      March 13, 2013 7:51 pm

      “…so I fronted their payment out of pocket in the confidence that the campaign would be successful, and he repaid me personally once he had the funds from Autarch.”

      Which explains why Tavis has not simply washed his hands of this. Jeez!

      “Based on this input, we believe that the best next step is for me to visit James and see if meeting in person will help resolve the impasse.”

      The most probable outcome:

      Tavis goes to Canada.
      Tavis confronts James.
      James has already spent all the money, which is why he stiffed the freelancers.
      Tavis comes home. Maybe lawsuits?
      Life goes on.

      RunwithScissors, you were on point with this from the start. Kudos. You are the man.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        March 13, 2013 8:35 pm

        Indeed! ‘Scissors raised that flag and let it fly. Good job!

      • March 14, 2013 3:04 am

        Thanks. I call it as I see it and this was a scam. Whatever I’ve been doing on my blog seems to make some feel ill. Brave Halfling is mad. David Hill and his epic kickstarter fail is mad. More targets are in my sight

  116. Donkeyfucker permalink
    March 14, 2013 3:19 am

    Has Tavis tried to contact Scammy on his private email (

  117. Cheesesock permalink
    March 14, 2013 4:12 am

    Finally! Tavis doesn’t sound like the evil pecker-smooch that J.Mal has turned out to be. I lost my father too. It’s no reason to NOT DO YOUR FUCKING JOB for two years!

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