[clever title that drives traffic]
September 30, 2011
My K&K thread got wizard locked. Poag ghosted his wacko rants. WTF?!?!? We had something really good here, people. By myself, I’m just a big ol’ flaming bag of dogshit… I need you guys to stomp on me if we’re gonna have some laughs!
Your Dungeon Is Suck. 
Hey, guys, what did I miss the last 24 hours? Looks like old “Free Speech” Limpo burned all that free speech on his boards. Was there anything good? Did he accuse the Brave Halfling dude of being YDIS?
[here is a stupid thing of saying]
Everyone needs to learn the truth about Stefan Poag.
[i need attention]
Poggy just vaulted to #1 on my list of Cowardly OSR Shit Dicks. What a cock gobbler, to take down jew rants, character assassination and general loonacy instead of letting it fly and seeing where it went? It’s going to take a LOT of orc rape drawing close ups to make it right..
Why, Limpey? Why?
I thought you were going to stand up against Internet tyranny no matter how unpopular it made you. That courage sure didn’t last long, did it? Did those vicious brutes at Knights & Knaves Outhouse intimidate you? I guess that you had to learn the hard way that nobody likes a Nazi.
Speaking of Nazis, how ironic is it that on September 14 you posted about the necessity of political correctness? “But some people don’t have the sense that God (or Darwin’s theory) gave to a head of cabbage.” Ha ha! You didn’t realize that you were referring to yourself, did you? Are you going to delete that post as well? If you’re going to delete every post that makes you look like a moronic asshole, you might as well stop blogging altogether.
I never thought I would type this but, Limpey, I’m starting to doubt your integrity.
Matt Finch is such a blow hard winey cunt, that it’s about time he get’s his shit pushed all the way in.
So my research was a little faulty. Mistakes were made. Big fucking deal.
I got this asshole’s actual IP address this time (for realz, bro) and I’m not afraid to share it.
Your Dungeon Is Suck = Benoist Poire.
Suck it down, bitches.
This I can believe. He is the only comment I’ve ever had to delete off my website that wasn’t spam.
[thumb in my butt]
On the recent YDIS thread, one of the K&K luminaries made a good point: “[I]f I wanted to read someones homoerotic fantasies, I’d choose a healthier, more pleasant example than can be found at YDIS.”
The truth hurts. The homoeroticism on this blog falls far short of being healthy and pleasant. This needs to change. Apparently, there is a need for quality gay porn literature amongst the OSR community and this blog is the best hope for fulfilling that need.
YDIS, I know you are loath to accept recommendations but, in the interests of homoeroticism, I suggest that you enlist Kent to write a weekly guest post. You could call it ‘Sodomy Sunday’ or something cute like that.
[i will now bore you with a dumb comment]
Modesty prevented me from going there…but since you mentioned it, I’d like to remind everybody that the THE SECRET FIRE (formerly George Strayton’s Legends & Labyrinths) represents Gary’s Vision for the Future of Gaming! I can make this claim because I glanced at Gary’s SECRET NOTES. (Why Gygax would want his Vision for the Future of Gaming to be kept secret, I leave to your imaginations.)
I care so deeply about this turdburger, I didn’t even bother to proofread it! Be sure to download this crappy excuse for a game from DriveThruRPG for a mere $9.99! (While there, you might as well spend another 99 cents to buy my fucking useless “character tents.”)
[lame]
Actually, I’m more worried about making my saving throw versus flaccidity.
“The truth hurts. The homoeroticism on this blog falls far short of being healthy and pleasant.”
Not for lack of trying, my friend.
“The homoeroticism on this blog falls far short of being healthy and pleasant.”
Actually, I’ve been thinking for a while that the obsession some folks have over YDIS’s identity seems a little closeted-republican-on-homo-witchhunt-y. Some people are anonymous on the internet, can we just get the fuck over that?
[boobs]
[i am gay]
Can you work some variety into your act? Thanks.
[fart smell]
It appears he’s taken his ball and gone home….
You won’t have me to kick around anymore!
[stupid comment]
[blowing myself]
ATTENTION SUCK DUNGEON IDENTITY HUNTERS:
YDIS started deleting my comments after two* events transpired:
1. I called Benoist a retarded Canadian while implying all Canadians are retarded
2. I mocked OSRIC Player’s Guide on release
Narrow your search to YDIS’s identity to Canadians OSRIC fans and writers!
*I may have trash talked Gail’s vajayjay too…
This one can stay.
*You may have also used the word cunt so much that you devalued its utility as a curse and spammed my comments with Tourettes-ish bullshit.
I can’t stay mad at you SUCK DUNGEON. 🙂
“I may have trashed Gail’s vajayjay too…”
Troy, I hope you put the horse in Trojan before battering those walls.*
Word on the street is that Gary had a funky monkey after partaking of too much strange in his old hookers-and-coke days in LA.
* Meat curtains is a more apt description.
See kiddo, FASERIP has it right. Variety is the spice of life.
I still find this whole “impersonation” of me bizarre. If it’s meant to be some kind of parody, it’s clearly not on target. If it’s meant to try to trick people into thinking its me, I doubt anybody would take it seriously, especially when I usually only comment using authenticated means. It probably means I have some “enemies”, and it seems solely targeted towards only one forum I peripherally partake in, and this seems to be some weird inside joke.
Who are you talking to?
@John R. Troy: to be honest I had no idea who the hell you were before or that you even existed until I saw a post on K&K where you claimed not to be the foulmouthed JRT on YDIS (that is, me). I originally chose JRT out of the blue to stand for JIZZIN’ on RAGGI’s TURDS, nothing more, nothing less. The fact that you think this is even about you at all – now, then or ever – makes you a bigger self important douche than Raggi, JamesM, Rob Kuntz and all the other blowholes in the OSR TURDOSPHERE combined!!! Yes, I decided to mock you here afterwards but only because I realized you were a self-important douche that nobody has even heard of that thinks he’s something. So rest assured this is NOT about you and go back to your obscurity safe in the knowledge that NOBODY ALIVE EVEN KNOWS WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE BEFORE THIS!!!!
I hope SUCK DUNGEON doesn’t delete this before you see it.
(Wow, I got through that without the C-WORD once. Suck Dungeon will be proud!)
Are you a retart?
If you have read Gary’s products carefully, the term “JRT” was even listed in some of them! He was doing stuff for Gary since the Dangerous Journeys days. His august name can be found in the credits for many Lejendary Adventure, Gygaxian Fantasy Worlds, and Castle Zagyg products. He’s been involved with Lejendary Adventure (albeit in minor ways) since 1996, bitch.
You are not fit to use his initials.
Trust me, you do NOT want to be on his “enemies” list.
So what are you saying? Is he like a Rob Kuntz understudy or something?
Sort of, but not as significant. He’s more like the spiritual afterbirth of Kuntz.
Dangerous Adventures/Legendary Journeys eh? No wonder no one has ever heard of him. Those had a smaller following than even Alexis.
Hmm, well, it doesn’t matter if you didn’t hear of me, although considering that you are watching message boards forgive me if I seem skeptical that you would create those weird initials–why not just spell it out, otherwise nobody would get the joke. Not to mention how coincidentally you would either have “JRT” post insults about Gail or something similar.
Regardless, since I have posted under those initials elsewhere, I figured I’d post a rebuttal just to make sure somebody didn’t get confused. I will go back to obscurity now, just in case anybody thinks I’m too “self-important”. (At least Vesoge Chief has read Lejendary Adventures.)
Damn. It’s Veshoge with an “H” (Because they’re pig-like, get it?). And it’s Lejendary Adventure — no “S.”
How could the real JRT not know these things?
I’m so disillusioned now, I’m going to switch my gaming system of choice. Can anybody recommend a good retro-clone? YDIS?
“Not to mention how coincidentally you would either have “JRT” post insults about Gail or something similar.”
Ah so you *are* the Rob Cunts of the Dangerous, Jizz-faced Assventurous Fudge Packing Journeys, riding Gary’s moldy corpse to self importance climax.
Are you f*cking Gail now too? Missionary or doggie? Front door or back? Somehow I don’t think Gail even knows or cares who the fuck you are either…
Man, now even Faggi is dissing Poag. On his list of upcoming crap, no mention of Exquisite Corpses. A commenter asked, and Jimmy IV said to ask Poag about it. Now we don’t get to create monsters with spurting demon johnson. How sad. Maybe YDIS can publish it for him?
So what the fuck did Poag actually say? I came late to this world changing scandal.
Sorry to disappoint, gentlemen, but I have nothing to do with this blog.
I am not the guy writing YDIS.
Thank you.
Too late, bro. Your feeble protestations only serve to condemn you further.
The YDIS blog started only a scant few months after you abandoned your other blogs; hardly a coincidence.
“Esss mah Deeee!” is probably some phonetic French Illuminati crap.
You’re welcome.
What I’m doing is stating the obvious for the record : I am not the person behind YDIS.
Just like Kellri wasn’t the guy behind this blog.
Just like the Dungeon Delver wasn’t the guy behind it either.
Thank you.
What I’m doing is presenting an anagram of Benoist Poire for the record:
“I PEN BOOR SITE.”
You don’t have to deny the truth any longer.
You’re welcome.
YDIS is too sophisticated a piece of satire to be penned by a Canadian simpleton like Benoist anyway.
It seems I owe YDIS an apology. Benoist is a different blog writer entirely. Another anagram of Benoist Poire is “OOP, I BE RIENTS.”
YDIS, have you noticed that you have not had the slightest effect stomping out the plague of Idiot Monster Dreams for cash? If anything they are flourishing now like competing farts on a submarine. You are rubbish. You got side-tracked thinking your blog was the thing. No, Idiot Monster Dreams for cash is the thing and your blog is just an implement. Grognardia is laughing at you drip feeding his latest Incredibly Shit Ideas for cash. You are useless.
Listen dickface, I’m just holding out for Petty Gods because I want a free copy of the Barker essay that you recommended. I don’t have $4 to give to RPGNow. Is that so wrong? I promise, I’ll wad the rest of it up into a ball and dunk it into a jar of rancid hobo spunk.
No way am I being the dickface again. You are the dickface one, and let that be a lesson to you.
Do what I tell you, when I tell you. That is how to amuse me.
Who died and made you Alexis?
I don’t really get the popular idea that this blog HAS to be written by somebody well-known under another name. Why couldn’t it just be some guy who’s followed the scene’s “big names” and decided they needed to be poked in the eye a bit?
I know, right?!?!?!?
@Jack Colby, listen dickface, I suppose you think Shakespeare’s works weren’t written by “somebody well known under another name”. As if a commoner could pen lyrics like,
‘Milady’s buttocks are like a famous lady’s buttocks,
Methinks they sit on the one arse between them.’
Freak alert, Alex is Ass is crying because weather tables aren’t detailed enough. Although he does pause to rant and insult anyone that suggests a detailed table. I love his blog. It’s going to suck eggs when they lock up the batshit crazy little fuck, or he blows his brains out after going on a rant about types of coffee in his “world” and how they must all taste different or else you are an azzhole:
http://tao-dnd.blogspot.com/2011/10/if-we-could-have-real-weather.html
If Alexis wants the ultimate weather tables, Alexis needs to check out Dangerous, Jizz-faced Assventurous Fudge Packing Journeys by Gary Gygax and John R. Troy. Because if there ever was a game that proves beyond a doubt that LIGHTING SURE DOESN’T STRIKE TWICE IN THE SAME SPOT, it is this warm, mushy corn laden turd of a game that Gary (and apparently John R. Troy too now as well) penned after AD&D…
I am also, not Spartacus.
Folks, just to be absolutely fucking clear: I am NOT the same JRT who was listed once in Dangerous, Jizz-faced Assventurous Fudge Packing Journeys written by Gary Gygax and which sold tens of copies.
I can only dream of such fame, glory, destiny and notoriety.
Sincerely,
The other JRT
Jizzin’ on Raggi’s Turds
I’m not YDIS, either.
Listen, I just wanted to say that some things were written last summer that really hurt my feelings. I know that sounds weak, but it’s true. Since then I’ve tried to take responsibility for the things I can fix, like keeping my opinions to myself and making amends with the people I had scrapes with.
In a way I should thank YDIS for pointing out that I needed to tone down my rhetoric. It’s actually helped me to have a much more mellow online experience.
Carry on.
I think the fact you now need to 12 Step thanks to the OSR D&D Turdosphere is at the root of why you are a pussy Christian.
I’m YDIS.
I just can’t bear to stay in the closet any longer! I feel so liberated!
Oh, and did I mention I’m YDIS?
YDIS , have you noticed that you have not had the slightest effect stomping out the plague of Idiot Monster Dreams for cash? If anything they are flourishing now like competing farts on a submarine. You are rubbish. You got side-tracked thinking your blog was the thing. No, Idiot Monster Dreams for cash is the thing and your blog is just an implement. Grognardia is laughing at you drip feeding his latest Incredibly Shit Ideas for cash. You are useless.
Kent’s repeating himself? Whew, I thought the flashbacks were kicking in!
Kent seems to be fixated on Potty Gods. Of course, nothing’s to stop him from taking Maliszewski to task himself. After all, he is an evil, sexy Lone Ranger. Have limp wrist, will travel.
More to the point, YDIS hasn’t blogged for more than two weeks. Granted, JRT is a special needs troll but that shouldn’t take up all of YDIS’ time. There’s a whole world of OSR crap waiting to be mocked. Like, there was the aborted launch of ‘Mazes & Perils’ and not a peep from YDIS. Girl, get your junk together.
Dwimmermount of many volumes.
My only special needs involve HTM’s toothless, cankerous mouth down at the Dwarven Glory Hole…
It’s time for YDIS to go whole-hog OSR.
Yes, it’s that time: time to publish some shitty module on Lulu or RPGNow.
It should be sufficiently thought-provoking* to attract attention not only from the OSR upper-crust, but also the rpgnet illiterati. In other words, you should make a module based on this.
It’s chock full of lulz, and better yet, it smells a little like an allegory. Four thirtysomething retards trapped in a 15′-by-15′ room, surrounded by buckets of their own shit, and “the only food in the room was a container of orange juice?”
Jesus H. Maliszewski, this just screams OSR smash-hit-a-thon-palooza!
* for lack of a better word.
I know a guy named Poag who’s available to illustrate…
Hey, yeah, whatever happened to Pussy Gods? Did Jimmy Mal just abscond with those oh-so-intriguing ideas? Or did it get released already to a flaccid reception?
And Dungeon Suck Boy, surely you can find something to comment on in this target rich environment. Back to work!
http://tao-dnd.blogspot.com/2011/10/am-i-im-asking-you.html
hundreds of megabytes.
The best part is this quote: “Tell me I’m crazy.”
Alexis, gawd bless him.
Mind boggling. AT $100 he prices his megabytes of information on how many times your ass will need to be wiped after any given meal (cross referenced for different historically accurate cuisines).
What does that work out to… 6 or 8 Vornheims for that price?
It is like watching a cult leader at work.
A cult leader with brain damage.. though that might be redundant.
For $500 he is offering an uber-chart which charts how all his charts fit together. Easily mistaken for a Jackson Pollock this uber-chart has the clarity and elegance of line of the prickly tufts of a Night Hag’s matted pubic hair.
Sanity is only useful as long as it does not impede the flow of charts from the realm of charts into the real world.
For $100, Alexis should at least have the decency to get cancer first before asking for a handout.
Alexass von Toa says: “Finally, one special note to the happy, wonderful people at YDIS who eagerly anticipate my being diagnosed with cancer. A hooker will charge you $100 to fuck you. I would be happy to offer the same service.”
Is he too stupid to know that if he fucks us, it’s not cancer, but AIDS, herpes and crabs we’ll be catching from his twig and berries?
Why would I do that when Zak S. will give you his AIDS for free?
Wow, people are actually agreeing to buying his Tanner’s Shop Event Tables for $100. It seemed like L’il Lexi was deluded, but his Gentle Readers are moreso.
That Beyond The Black Gate dude gives his hundreds of tables away for free – and they are actually interesting.
Every One of you chucklefucks owes me 100 dollars.
http://www.mediafire.com/?dkaa8d1dlv0b00y
You devilish sonofagun, you just made me guffaw.
Thank you! I was hoping to have my players spend the next five sessions sampling and shopping for caviar native to my homebrew fanstasy world and now I have enough varieties of caviar to do just that!
[My Dungeon truly IS suck, so I want to keep all five PCs topside shopping for at least another six months like some fantasy equivalent of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.]
Our English Faggot friend cannot keep abreast of important developments as his myopic attention to JaMal feeds his homoerotic visions of him in the middle of a troika of aforementioned and YDIS. News does continue and it seems that Stevie-boy of Bree Yark has had his work supposedly C&D’d. Supposedly as there are three questions to be answered – why would WotC give a shit about this twat’s work – why does Stevie feel the need to be all-secretive when posting the C&D letter and information would be far more beneficial to him and his K&K circle buddies – why does this happen when it is well known/documented how much Stevie wants to be the center of the attention with the OSR and suddenly he is now the forefront of WotC activity to prime the pump for 5e?
Perhaps we can send Kent to sniff out some assholes and get to the bottom of this – a position he’s obviously very familiar with.
I’m not sure how “please remove the picture of the beholder from your OSR cut and paste book” translates to “you must pull down your entire blog and remove all your posts from the OSR turdosphere”, legally speaking. If he’s grabbing for attention and some good old fashioned high school girl drama, it makes total sense, but not from a legal perspective.
Speaking of James M…His Shamelessness is begging for free shit from his readers again:
http://grognardia.blogspot.com/2011/10/holmes-annoyance.html
A Holmes box – not too worn, mind you! – with a copy of B1 included, if you please….
You beat me to it. This guy is shameless.
Yeah, read that. The ungrateful kunt was actually just given a box set (with a stained cover, poor baby) by another reader, now he wants another one.
We should each mail James at Fagnardia a perfect mint copy with just one minor flaw so he’ll just have to keep begging: a coiled turd inside the box leaving fudge smudge stains all over B1. Like Poop Dollar.