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Please Raise Your Hand…

October 27, 2011

… if this picture calls you to adventure:

Buttplug: "Trick or treat!!!" / Wrinklequim: *PPPPFFFRRTTT!* "I've eaten too much cheese..."

I can’t pick a winner between that one and this:

FROM THE MIND OF JAMES MALISZEWSKI: CHILD RAPE, THE RPG (not to be confused with Carcosa)

Please buy my stuff!!!

This morning, Paula Abdul woke up wondering what had become of her hat...

17 Comments leave one →
  1. JRT permalink
    October 27, 2011 12:13 pm

    Sir Buttplug is probably going to want to put that helmet of his over Lady Wrinklequim’s face first me thinks….

  2. October 27, 2011 1:59 pm

    HA HA HA HA That looks like that dude, DUNGEONDORK from K&KA. LOL Perfect….;D

  3. kent permalink
    October 27, 2011 3:55 pm

    First Picture:

    Mother: Son, you are too old to be wearing that Knight’s costume. Now, it’s time for bed.

    Son: For God’s sake, I told you before. I’m a real knight.

  4. Roger Moret permalink
    October 27, 2011 6:03 pm

    I’d totally tit-fuck Wrinklequim.

  5. JRT permalink
    October 28, 2011 6:14 am

    JaMal has taken us to task! “So what you’re saying is that women are shallow and superficial and would never play a character who isn’t young and beautiful?” But I say it is you, YOU Turdnardia, who is the true sexist here!

    Why does JaMal assume only women would want to play female PCs? In fact, as a male I see great potential in Lady Wrinklequim as a viable PC! For starters, her sagging old breasts serve as an armour chest plate giving her natural AC equivalent to that of boiled leather! Not only does her aged pussy serve as her familiar, it also doubles as a handy pouch for spell components! I can see her in the middle of a suckdungeon like Dwimmerdouche, lifting her skirts and reaching a hand way up her gash to pull out just the right spell component to save the day! Oh JaMal, go back to poo-pooing and finger wagging at games you’ve never played and stop doing NOW and the Femi-Nazis any favors.

  6. Timothy permalink
    October 28, 2011 11:46 am

    Gotta admit, that is a stylin’ pimp hat Jimmie Mal has.

  7. TurdBurgler permalink
    October 28, 2011 12:57 pm

    Jamie kinda looks like Alton Brown in that picture. He should make a blog post about the science behind poutine, or how people eat those things without vomiting or suffering from a heart attacl

  8. FASERIP permalink
    October 28, 2011 5:19 pm

    First picture: YGGR
    Second picture: YGGR

  9. Larry Elmore touched me in a funny place at his art retreat permalink
    October 29, 2011 2:17 am

    Wow, people circle jerk all over Vornheim and someone says… Hmmm, maybe it’s not all awesome and Zak Tabitha can’t stand one iota of criticism and proceeds to tread carefully along the lines of showing everyone he’s a complete douchebag. Like readers here didn’t already know Zachariah was a douche.

    http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?597863-VornHeim-…-I-m-scared-and-mystified-and-wowed-and-a-bit-overwhelmed

  10. October 29, 2011 6:57 am

    I dunno, if some spoonfed fuckwit was crying because a monster didn’t have an RoleLabel ™ telling him how to use it I would lose my shit too.

    But no he whines because he can’t use a monster without an official category telling him so (never mind the description or encounter notes, not good enough apparently).

  11. October 29, 2011 8:14 am

    I laugh heartily every time the ZakPrincess goes off when he obsesses on well-deserved criticism. He’ll worry at it like a bone, constantly revisiting it over and over.His Vornheim is tiresome like his blog. The sycophantic following he’s created is more about wanting to be cool and see T&A than any real tribute to any sort of talent.

    Imagine what would come forth if the English Faggot and ZakPrincess bred.

  12. kent permalink
    October 30, 2011 4:55 am

    What has happened to the pictures? Have you been bullied by the woolly bully?

    • October 30, 2011 8:37 am

      Not sure, they don’t seem to be working. I’ll have my IT department take a look.

      • October 30, 2011 8:53 am

        Oh, I had to check my email! WordPress yanked it because of a DMCA claim. I have challenged the claim, and restored the pix in the meantime.

  13. JRT permalink
    October 30, 2011 8:43 am

    Did Lady JaMal cry to wordpress about IP infringement and get the pics pulled?

    The originals if I may:

    Lord Buttplug and Lady Wrinklequim:

    Pumpkin Pedophile:

  14. dumb permalink
    October 31, 2011 9:50 am

    C’mon what’s wrong with playing dress-up and make believe it is Halloween after all.
    There’s plenty of room for folks to pretend to be art directors and editors and publishers of original gaming material. At the same time we can pretend that the followers… er I mean readers of such blog prophets are lemming like and uncritical in their devotion and support of the pursuit of mediocracy.

    The art is pretty mediocre and befitting college level skills. The compositions are not very interesting and there is no sense of either danger, mystery or real design in either piece.

    The Knight dude and hag could have used some more shadows- considering the witch is holding a torch, I’d imagine the background would be in shadow. Plus the use of better lighting would make the picture more dramatic and give more mystery. I guess we are to suppose that their is a big bright spotlight in front of the two figures. The door is just sort of there and also doesn’t seem to be inviting or mysterious or anything. The knight also does not appear to be an adventurer type as he lacks any gear but the sword and shield. Where is the water/wine skin? The large sack? Backpack?
    At least they both have small sacks.

    The drawing is not bad at all and with some more work and more members of the party, this might have been rather nice. I would think the purpose of hiring an illustrator would be to actually try to depict what a scene from a game would look like. I guess Dimmermont is a campaign about hags and knights who travel in pairs to brightly lit dungeons with boring doors.

  15. JRT permalink
    October 31, 2011 7:24 pm

    My god the look on the face of that young victim of the Pumpkin Pedophile! It’s as if the artist has captured the exact moment that the fiend’s tuberous gord like man root broke the muscular rim on the poor lad’s cornhole!

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