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“Excuse me, but did you just ASSUME my anal circumference potential?!?!?”

November 15, 2018

Recruiting for a new play-by-post campaign, this will be a Vornheim city-crawl using the F.A.T.A.L. rule set and with custom classes drawn from Brony fandom. Apply in the comments section with a one-sentence bio for your character and roll your own areola diameter + hue.


115 Comments leave one →
  1. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    November 15, 2018 4:09 pm

    Welcome back home YDIS! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  2. Timotheus permalink
    November 15, 2018 4:22 pm

    Slitch Thundertress is a fundamentalist trans with a hoof fetish and lasagna addiction. 4cm – jale. Desired class – Civil Grievance Chancellor.

  3. rasputin permalink
    November 15, 2018 4:28 pm

    i bring you gifts

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      November 15, 2018 4:39 pm

      Here’s your problem, enumerated in a previous post: As the RPGpundit has taught me over the years, these people cannot be left alone.

      I just think it’s funny that a self-proclaimed ‘weird’ edgelord would end up having the same hangups as a fundamentalist evangelical preacher. How soon before he declares himself ‘born again’ and starts wearing a 3:16 T-shirt?

  4. Franky Panky permalink
    November 15, 2018 4:35 pm

    I intend to wait and see who else joins. I am particular about whom I game with these days. There are some truly skeevy people in the RPG *community*.

    Ah, my white van is repaired. And the shag carpet interior nicely steam cleaned. Some stains are nearly impossible to remove. And they show up too easily under a UV light.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      November 15, 2018 4:40 pm

      Bad luck, Franky, BOTE has already been named our caller.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        November 15, 2018 9:34 pm

        That’s fine. I’ll play a thief, and stab his PC in the back. No more Mr. Nice Guy here. I’ll use poison too. Then I’ll take his stuff, although I don’t expect the Oafish Bote to have much of value. Let’s see, a used sleeping bag, a threadbare and strangely stained Rainbow Dash plushie, and an old Lovin’ Spoonful LP. The sum total of all the worldly possessions, of any value, that the Oafish Bote has accumulated.

        Yes, I remember My arguments about thieves on Dragoonsfart. To hell with those.

        Are we allowed to invite past-their-prime pr0n starlets to join the group, especially those who wear the pointy ears? Asking for a friend. How about SJW’s of indeterminate *gender*?

  5. November 16, 2018 8:47 am

    That Venger guy keeps stealing my _shtick_ and needs to be moderated within an inch of his life, preferably with a “long spoon” (Horse Dildo.) Where are the mods!

  6. PrinceofNothing permalink
    November 16, 2018 10:48 am

    Like an inverted christmas miracle. Zak has taken his bal and gone home along with the degenerate half-human swamp creature known as Kiel Chenier, swearing a pox upon Lamentations of the Flame Princess. Raggi has dared to pose on a picture with the evil alt-right demagogue Jordan Peterson. The OSR is in flames. The left is baying for blood. People are retreating. Pundit’s video quality is awful. The People need your guidance! Arise Dark One! And spread the dread of your Unhallowed rebirth!

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      November 16, 2018 10:55 am

      Uh shit. Yellow Jarlaxe. Retired-porn Za’akir. androgene with a specialization in 4 genders (oblique rotation).5 cm (Magenta).

    • Franky Panky permalink
      November 16, 2018 10:58 am

      Kiel Chenier is Canadian. So too is that Jordan Peterson. And Pundejo. And Ed Greenwood, come to think of it. Orange Man wants to build a wall on the wrong border.

  7. Venger permalink
    November 16, 2018 3:45 pm

    Not that I have to explain myself to you or anyone, but my transitioning into za’akier is legit. Also, fuck you, asshole!

    • Anne Cunter permalink
      November 16, 2018 3:50 pm

      To take someone seriously when they tell you they’re trans-species is to wrongly accord good faith to someone who is obviously acting in bad faith and trolling you, and it’s to take seriously their claim that an imaginary joke identity, adopted in jest, dropped after 5 minutes, is equally as “real” and deserves equal respect (ie, none, in their view) to a transgender identity.

      So while I can see the appeal of trying say “look, I’ll show you how easy it is to respect someone’s identity,” unfortunately, trying to do that accepts and reinforces their premise that their joke and my existence have equal validity and equal worth.

    • Heavy Brown Trans permalink
      November 16, 2018 3:57 pm

      You’re a fucking honkey. Accept it.

    • Cavin DeWhordy permalink
      November 16, 2018 4:06 pm

      I support VS in his transition. If you disagree, you are worse than Hitler.

  8. November 16, 2018 6:51 pm

    Areola hue advantages/disadvantages — Jale: When attacked from front and nipples bared, 25% chance to reflect spells back at caster, however you are the subject of relentless pursuit by exotic nipple trophy hunters // Magenta: May heal up to 6hp/day nursing self or others (10 min = 1hp), however multiply all non-shield armor costs x2 to represent added cost of fur lining to reduce chafing.

  9. Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
    November 18, 2018 12:58 am

    I refuse to countenance any game system involving quadratic equations. I am already a Poet; if I were to be a Mathematician as well I’d be in terrible danger of becoming Kent, and the world cannot stand such horrors as two of him.

    Fortunately, as the recipient of a modern Humanities degree I am competent in nothing more complex than the intellectual dead end of postmodern critical theory (nothing is true, everything is permissible, trouble the concept and we must debate this), and can’t even handle numbers on my dice any more. Colours and symbols, that’s what we like in FWWW town. But not those Fantasy Flight games where there are different kinds of dice and symbols. Too much, too hard, too soon, which is oddly enough what my LARP group said to me the other night.

  10. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    November 18, 2018 6:35 pm

    Brony fandom, eh? Okay, here goes- Boscolmbe Bumblechunder is a 1st Level Megaloclopper. Areola diameter + hue: N/A, character is in possession of, and possessed by, the Nips of Vecna.

  11. November 19, 2018 4:02 pm

    For the consideration of the court: mindless bickering between Zak and some nobody.

    • Frank Sabbath permalink
      November 21, 2018 5:41 am

      I formally request you stop interacting with me in my absence. I can post evidence without a postman ever coming to your house ever again and I would If only I could stop thinking about langoustes now (they are so damn delicious).

  12. Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle permalink
    November 19, 2018 11:35 pm

    Exactly how many hours/days do you imagine Pundit has dedicated to pouring over the Ars Goetia, trying to decide which demon to invoke in his revenge upon Stuart Robertson? Less or more than the hours he clearly spent slaving away on his rainbow atrocity of an alternate OSR logo?

    Perhaps the better question is why Pundy still insists upon not filming himself, aiming his camera at random books, feral cats and jars of what one can only assume is some manner of ointment. It’s terribly confusing seeing as how he films himself while giving Wikipedia quality rundowns of whatever “esoterica” he thinks we can impress the rubes with on his Swamiji Nisarg account:

    Actually, maybe the best question is why middle aged guys with thinning hair think that they can use Jack Lord’s hairstyle to fool anyone.

  13. November 23, 2018 8:35 am

    i don’t give two shits about the OSR but I love this site. What the fuck is wrong with me?

    • Satine Phoenix's Unswallowed Jizz Baby permalink
      November 23, 2018 10:49 am

      The problem is you take two shits. I avoid “picking up a spare” by having oatmeal and an apple early in the day. Also, avoid Mexican food.

    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      November 24, 2018 12:14 am

      You find elderly nerds and hyperaggressive keyboard warriors who care too much about D&D amusing, and that is as it should be.

  14. OSRitalin permalink
    November 27, 2018 8:56 pm

    However vast the anal citcumference, it’s going to pale next to Venger’s after this reaming:

    For extra bonus carnage, see V’s attempt at rebutting Bryce in the comments.

    • Timotheus permalink
      November 28, 2018 2:53 pm

      Wasn’t Vengie about to announce his retirement from the blOwSR? He should have followed through.

      But then, he certainly wouldn’t have gotten the outpouring of support that he did when he announced he was coming out as a cthulhu abortion.

      Does anybody besides Bryce buy his crap?

    • Franky Panky permalink
      November 28, 2018 3:16 pm

      For more carnage, read between the lines here, Vin’e’gar’s little trans post has apparently cost him some of his talent. Well, his hired talent. The content of his *product* — buy some already — speaks about his own personal talent. Me, author of the best selling D&D ever, he ain’t. I crap bigger than he does. So apparently does this Zak fellow he mentions, although probably for entire different, and job-related, reasons.

      Vin’e’gar’s business email sums things up nicely.

      I think that I need to speak with some of my state government contacts and see if I can get Vin’e’gar banished from the Great State of Wisconsin. Maybe to Illinois.

      • OSRitalin permalink
        November 29, 2018 9:35 am

        Crhulhu Christ, that’s more telling than the previous post wherein he desperately promotes his own reviews.

        Now I’m on the gory cusp between amusement and pity for Anton LaVey’s spawn here. Can nobody love an edgy manbaby? C’mon, America, we elected one President!

  15. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    November 29, 2018 9:34 pm

    F.A.T.A.L. ruleset for reference (old school first edition):

    Click to access fatal.pdf

    Regarding Vengie, I wish zul the best of luck in zal transition and hope za’a is happy being who za’a is.

  16. Satine Phoenix's Future Regrets permalink
    December 1, 2018 12:37 pm

    I know the first and foremost humorous thing about this dillhole is the fact he fancies himself some kind of D&D professor.

    But Christ on a cracker, these most recent posts seem to reduce the most basic, no-duh D&D concepts to the most boring classes you had in college.

    Does Lexi even have a following any more? He no longer seems to even have comments. It’s like some retired or fired college prof going into an empty classroom and lecturing to nobody. Except me I guess, but I’m the student cutting loud, sour farts and spitting sunflower seed shells on the ground.

  17. jW e permalink
    December 2, 2018 6:46 pm

    Polyqueer Transracial Zaksabbathkin

    My anus is huge since I like to put my head up there when I’m not Googling my name or trying to intellectually dominate emotionally-stunted old men from the Midwest who post chemtrail videos and casual racism on their Facebook walls. My only ability scores are an 18 in Pedantry and Birdchest. My only gear is my high school DM notes that I repackage as boutique adventure modules and sell to retards who unironically wear pro wrestling t shirts.

  18. Timotheus permalink
    December 3, 2018 3:38 pm

    Hey guys,

    I think we can get the blOwSR jump-started by teaming up and pushing shovelwar- er, I mean, product. And I found the perfect vehicle.

    The domain for is only $2700. Think of all that storied history that cause sausage fanatics like BOTE to tremble. We’ll get content from Malijzeswki and Alexis and COnly and we’ll take the movement to heights it hasn’t seen since Dimmermount and I Run With Scissors.

    We’ll get modules and books full of d30 random tables, all based in this classic setting lifted from the Wilderlands.

    We can do this.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      December 3, 2018 9:02 pm

      I would prefer but it’s currently trending at $4,000-5,000. seems to be available for $10-20 bucks though and that was always Blooey’s best site in my opinion. Could we get enough groundswell support to buy it? I’d chip in, oh, maybe a quarter.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        December 4, 2018 9:33 pm

        I think we have to shoot the moon and get control of Polyhedron… ‘Reliquary Eggs’ just don’t sound as, uhhhh, intriguing as Poly Eggs.

        Make Golanda Stink Again

  19. PrinceofNothing permalink
    December 4, 2018 9:42 am

    In honour of your rebirth I figured I’d write another review:

    • Satine Phoenix's Future Regrets permalink
      December 4, 2018 5:51 pm

      Well done.

      You’re pretty well spoken for a black guy.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        December 5, 2018 9:33 am


  20. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    December 4, 2018 8:44 pm

    Speaking of black guys, it seems that Call of Cthulhu’s 7th edition version of Masks of Nyarlathotep changed NPC Jackson Elias into one because, well, just because I guess. Take that Whitey! So now we have Affirmative Action in roleplaying games, taking jobs away from imaginary characters? Kiss my privileged pasty-white butt Chaosium! I’ve read Howie’s stories. When I play Call of Cthulhu I expect to have barefoot little brown people toting my luggage and calling me Effendi. If I can’t have the dirty wogs doing some step ‘n fetch while I enjoy a chilled cocktail then what’s the point of playing in the 1920’s anyway?

    • Satine Phoenix's Future Regrets permalink
      December 7, 2018 1:00 pm

      HPL hated them uppity nig nogs. But I did hear he liked to get off during his marriage by finding a bunch of bare-footed, ciggy smoking Shwoogies playing craps on the street corner and having them come over to pork his wife. Go figure!

  21. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    December 9, 2018 6:27 pm

    Damn, I’ve been remiss… Kent’s boyfriend is in a bit of a pickle:

    Looks like Macris knows just how to pick the griftiest scam artists on the planet. So much for another meal ticket…

    My favorite part is how Yianno spent John C. Wright’s mortgage money on rent boys:

  22. Timotheus permalink
    December 14, 2018 3:06 pm

    Stop the god damn presses!

    EVERY marginalized person who attends GaryCon is in GREAT DANGER!

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      December 14, 2018 4:08 pm

      Can’t Sergeant Tenkar keep the peace at the con? Oh, he works for Webb? There goes that plan…

    • December 14, 2018 5:30 pm

      Find another convention to meet at… unless you’re telling us your friends are more important than the safety of every marginalized person who attends. You’re not saying that, are you?

      • Franky Panky permalink
        December 14, 2018 5:37 pm

        I am saying that. Of course My friends are more important to Me than strangers. I’ll see all My friends at GaryCon. I won’t see you there, Stacy, apparently. That is a good thing. The sight of you churns My stomach. Kask won’t see you either. That is a very good thing, for you. He would so run you over with his deathmobile. Heck, I’d point you out to him. Heck, I’d throw you in front of his Scooter o’ Doom, you tedious harridan.

        Prediction: GaryCon 2019 will have the largest attendance ever.

    • Timotheus permalink
      December 14, 2018 8:30 pm

      I’m no fan of Webb, and he was a drunk asshole to that BJ chick, but the notion that he poses a grave danger to everyone who is not a white male, and everyone will stand around and watch, is stupid at best. Sadly, I think there is more than mere stupidity in Stacy’s perspective.

      Release the Kask!

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        December 15, 2018 5:13 pm

        Heh, Kask of Amontillado… there is a Gary-signed first edition of the 3LBB in an alcove in the cellar.

      • Heavy Brown Trans permalink
        December 15, 2018 6:04 pm

        The year is 2018. Your tabletop group has become incredibly diverse and so too have their characters. Levels of privilege vary wildly among the party, sometimes creating tension. As the GM, you are charged with making this campaign feel real, to bring lived experiences to bear, and to make sure that it all stays fun, interesting, and safe. And stocked with ample boxes of Hostess HoHos and Lil Debbie Oatmeal Cookies and some chocalate butter ice cream.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 18, 2018 7:14 pm

        Meanwhile, Stacy continues to support serial harasser Zak S and misogynist piggy LotFP Raggi. BOYCOTT CUNTESSA TOO!!!!

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        December 18, 2018 7:21 pm

        See you at the Diversity Lounge!

  23. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    December 18, 2018 7:18 pm

    Stacy is putting the CUNT back in CUNTESSA!
    just like Heavy Brown Trans is putting the trans (fatty acids) back in TRANSGENDER!

  24. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    December 18, 2018 7:32 pm

    Aaaand Billy just withdrew as a Special Guest.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      December 19, 2018 9:13 am

      But not as a regular attendee, or as a vendor. FGG will be there. Billy Boy will be there. StacyD, she will not.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 19, 2018 7:29 pm

        Bill Webb will be wearing those elf ears you like Franky Panky so be careful!

      • Franky Panky permalink
        December 19, 2018 8:24 pm

        Possibly, but the pathetic, drunken fumble-dick that is the Billster will certainly be wearing them somewhere other than on his ears. He certainly won’t be any competition for the attention of the Ladies. I am the consummate gentleman. He is a staggering, pants-wetting souse.

        Maybe he’ll hook up with Heavy Brown Trans. Imagine the noises which that coupling would produce.

  25. Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
    December 24, 2018 3:45 am

    Since it’s now officially the Season in Scandiwegia, where my corporate lords and masters reign supreme over a barren land of angry customers, kultur warriors and emissaries from the barren Brexit Isles on whom they bestow an IP they’re probably desperate to be shot of by now:

    Merry fucking Christmas you deplorable bastards. May you not find Zak in your mentions this year.

    • Bigby’s Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      December 25, 2018 6:09 am

      Have a Kung Fu Christmas, Von.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        December 27, 2018 3:19 pm

        Was that cop loading up on the Hostess cupcakes in the video Fatty Brown Trans before the (lovely, lovely) estrogen treatments?

    • yourrpgisshit permalink
      December 25, 2018 3:11 pm

      There are people Zak hasn’t blocked?

      • Franky Panky permalink
        December 28, 2018 9:04 am

        I found some Zak in my stocking this year. I still have no idea how mice got into my Christmas items. I had to discard my stocking, because, in addition to leaving a whole lot of Zak — looks like black rice for those of you who don’t know– the mice peed all over it. I guess that they were making a Magical Kingdom for the Zak.

      • yourrpgisshit permalink
        December 28, 2018 10:01 am

        Have you tried disagreeing with him? Telling him that you don’t think his writing and art is the absolutely best thing that has ever been conceived?

      • Franky Panky permalink
        December 28, 2018 4:11 pm

        I don’t interact with mouse droppings.

  26. Stacy D (They/them) permalink
    January 1, 2019 2:12 pm

    White women have largely abandoned me.
    One of the women I look up to abandoned me.
    All for using my voice.
    All because I said ‘attacked’ and didn’t make it sound like some innocent little foible. All because I didn’t soften myself for a man.

  27. Satine Phoenix's Future Regrets permalink
    January 7, 2019 10:45 am

    I wish Satine Phoenix would give some tips that are actually useful for my GF to hone her blowie skills. Subjects like “good eye contact to heighten excitement,” “showing the blown load on your tongue to your partner,” and “handjobs that are good despite having man-hands” seem like no brainers for Satine to teach.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      January 7, 2019 4:17 pm

      Why should she just give tips when she can sell your GF some training videos? Or even a few personal one on two teaching sessions with you and your GF? Play a little D&D and then show your GF the best way to take it in all 3 orifices. She is a business woman after all.

      Now, if you are a bit reluctant, I’ll do you a favor and take your place in any 3 way with your GF and Satine. I’m nice that way. Satine can turn a trick, your GF learns a new trick, and I get the warm fuzzies for doing something nice for a fellow YDISer. We’ll all win. Heck, I’ll do this for almost anyone, except maybe StacyD. I do not even want to think about her GF. Shudder.

      • Satine Phoenix's Future Regrets permalink
        January 7, 2019 5:43 pm

        I may be able to work it out, Frankie. But she may insist you hose your ass off in the shower if you took one of your huge Taco Bell dumps recently. We learned our lesson with Ed Greenwood. Pee-ewww!

        I heard your wife Debbie is much younger than you and not too hagged out. Any chance we could work her into the mix? With all that bakery experience maybe she could make some of those porno cakes to get us in the mood!

      • Franky Panky permalink
        January 8, 2019 9:40 am

        Unfortunately, We do not have the necessary licenses from the Great State of Wisconsin in order to create erotic baked goods.

        Sadly, My dear wife does not share My swinging lifestyle proclivities, but she does condone them.
        Scatophilia is one of Greenwood’s least disgusting perversions. He was with the rest of Us, the real Old Guard, one night a bar, after Gary returned from LA to rescue TSR. The bartender asked Us jokingly, “What’s your perversion gentlemen?” Instead of “What’s your poison?” when taking Our drink order. Greenwood –a Canadian, I might add, so generally slow on the uptake– replied in a very serious tone, “All of them.” We laughed briefly, but quickly quieted when We realized that he was serious, and not at all talking about potent potables. Gary always swore that he would flay Greenwood alive if Greenwood so much as leered at one of his daughters.

  28. Ernie Gygax permalink
    January 7, 2019 1:49 pm

    After the fullfillment of the KS I wish to dissolve GP and sign a contract with a firm to but out our works and hopefully they will only do a KS with the material in hand… We have paid for a great deal of Art with the funds and all should be happy once it is published. I spent a good 2 years with Benoist creating material and then he has found that these concepts and crude maps take real effort to make a masterpiece. Masterwork is all he will ever produce be it later than Revelations.

    Sorry for the lateness and lack of communication but I wanted to keep this whole thing on Facebook and Ben said we needed the funds for well a myriad of reasons in advance. I hope that Frog God, Troll Lords or some such will get you all what you desire in a more timely fashion in the future once we (Ben) has finally let it out of his hands.

    He is now off Social Media just working this product and that is painful for him because he lives in a valley far North with no one but First Nation people with hunting and fishing as his neighbors.

    Now off to game and I fear that I may get sucked into more talk with Benoist really doing he final physical efforts.

    Ernest G Gygax Jr a Gamer

    • Franky Panky permalink
      January 7, 2019 4:22 pm

      Ernie old friend, you are even less coherent than Kask after 3 lids of his ultra-cosmic. Drinking again? Stop it already, or you’ll burn yourself out of another home.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      January 8, 2019 10:37 pm

      It looks decent I guess (if it ever comes out). It was supposed to be done in six months and now it’s been three years and four months. Bennie has now stopped all communication with Ernie and backers which will allow him to focus on the work (still six hours a day guyz!) and perhaps spend some time taking spirit journeys with his First Nation medicine man.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      January 19, 2019 6:00 am

      Benoist is apparently working on the Silence, $126,109 GP Radius spell now.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        January 22, 2019 6:24 pm

        Ernie must have cast it, I can’t even read the comments there anymore. That’s some High Gygaxian Magic.

  29. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    January 10, 2019 11:39 pm

    Speaking of Kickstarters, Vengie’s latest effort is off to a roaring start. $3,800 of a $10,000 initial goal in just a few days. At this rate he might make a few stretch goals. It’s for a campaign that looks like a combination of Cthulhu, elves and dwarves and dragons, post-apocalyptic mutants, pyramids, pirates, laser guns, airships… you get the idea. No word yet on whether you can play as a whatever-he-is-now but I’m calling it.

    • January 12, 2019 5:33 am

      Thanks for the shout out, hoss! Yep, Cha’alt kickstarter is live. Now, there’s a hardcover option. Yes, there will be za’akier. 😉


      • Kent's Rectum [PROLAPSED] permalink
        January 19, 2019 5:56 am

        From one Ass Nasty to another, GOOD LUCK!

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      January 30, 2019 1:19 pm

      Venger’s kickstarter has days yet, and more then a thousand still to go. If you have a craving for non-gay megadungeoning against a backdrop of vaguely eldritch pop-culture sfantasy insanity or you simply cannot bear the thought of seeing his mighty publishing empire demolished at the edict of a dissapointed spouse or have his twenty kids growing up knowing their father can no longer publish space-porn elf games in poor taste consider getting yourselves in on some elfgame action:

  30. January 29, 2019 12:01 pm

    Wassup cash sacks, I mean bros! This place is as dead as my blog or the patreon people still pay me $400 monthly to not update. Hey I was counting my winnings on a motel bed like I do and I sold 800 of the new printing of RPL over the last three years (surely a record) plus 700 of F&M in just the first year of reliese. Thats gross profit for me Raggi and the printer to split of up to $27,100 in euros and we did it in just 36 months. Next time my dad gets on my case about getting a real job show him these numbers. PS still time to sign up for that patreon subscription bros

  31. Satine Phoenix's Future Regrets permalink
    January 30, 2019 11:28 am

    Poor Zack’s Dad. He often wonders if he hadn’t bought Zako a chain smoking whore for his 15th birthday maybe things would be different. That he wouldn’t be a low end artist. A D&D blogger (even loser jokes like Alexis gets followers). A love for the skeevy people in life. That he wouldn’t pay sex workers to go to cons with him to show “I don’t need Mandy.” That he wouldn’t live in a Hollywood shitbox on daddy’s dough. That his hair wouldn’t be jacked up while heading for middle-age.

    Military school, Zak’s dad. You should have sent him when you saw what he was becoming. But hey, at least he didn’t have Satine Phoenix’s dad. Whoo boy!

    • Franky Panky permalink
      January 30, 2019 5:29 pm

      From what My Pointy-Eared Princess told Me, it is true that Zak “at least he didn’t have Satine Phoenix’s dad.” But her dad did indeed *have* Zak.

      In both Orifices. Taught the Zak the meaning of the word irrumatio.

      Oh the life of a Sex Worker.

  32. Benoist Poire permalink
    January 30, 2019 12:10 pm

    YDIS, and all my pals here,

    we’re producing this year. I have indeed taken a big step back from social media while completing the writing. This is my main focus, along with extra diagrams, visual aids and the works added as needed.

    When I lose steam or get stuck I switch to the supplemental material for translations to other worlds and genres (those elements promised with the KS as well). There’s been development in that area too. Too much to summarize quickly here in fact.

    I’ll summarize all progress, the structure, layout tests we conducted etc (some of which made it in updates here on FB) on the KS page when I’m done on the main module.

    The progression goes on all fronts at once due to the interconnected elements and “tissue” between all the moving parts of the design. Taking a step back from social media has greatly helped clear my mind in that arena: I tended to become more negative, irritable and worried way too much over the past few months as I was exposed to all sorts of bad stimuli on social media. It’s been the right decision to step back and I intend to stick with it, popping up here from time to time but occasionally more than systematically until completion.

    Ernest stopped with the refunds because at this stage we need to know what money we have to schedule and finance printing etc when writing is completed. (We still have about 78K to complete the project plus seeds for more funding if we’re cutting it too close or whatnot).

    So to summarize. Progress is happening and we are producing this year. We still have the funds. The support of our friends to produce. Big thanks by the way to all our friends and supporters who keep helping us and motivating us to the end — it helps a lot, thank you! My attention is entirely on finishing the writing ASAP.

    Expect an update as soon as I’m done with the main module.

    • Franky Panky permalink
      January 30, 2019 5:34 pm

      Benoist, you deceive no one. We all know that Ernie squandered the KS funds on hookers and booze. Mostly on booze.

      • Satine Phoenix's Future Regrets permalink
        January 30, 2019 10:14 pm

        Even whores have standards. Well, some do.

        Consider the fate of Zak’s original skanks. One with severe disabilities escaped the Hollywood shitbox too her once rejected family in the wilds of Canada. Kimberly Kane has gone from porn star and advocate to fucking fat old black dudes at a whore house. Satine Phoenix, after a certain amount of demi-fame appearing on various web based geek video content, is begging for bare-bones basic amounts of money so she can spend all her time going to game cons and photo bomb other peoples pics with her rubber ears on.

        Ah, how the unmighty have fallen yet lower. At least Zak is on the low ebb of his gaming “fame.” Hopefully his bad karma won’t destroy any more lives.

      • January 31, 2019 8:13 am

        Not on the ebb bro. How do you explain the traffic at the premiere DIYDD forum site whcih I created and enforce to consolidate my leadership

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        January 31, 2019 7:20 pm

        Oh, dear, what could possibly go wrong with giving your contact information to a known stalker with a brigade of psycho-phants?

      • Franky Panky permalink
        January 31, 2019 9:19 pm

        Harumph. Already banned from the forum. My reputation precedes me, it would appear.

        How soon before it becomes infested with Perilous D’s sock puppets?

      • bloodymage OFFICIAL [VERIFIED] permalink
        February 2, 2019 2:49 pm

        Look out, Franky Panky!

      • zakbot permalink
        February 4, 2019 6:20 am

        Franky “Broken Step” Panky just doesnt get it. This is big business. I get a free $5000 a year from my patreon bros. All I have to do is keep telling thm Im working on two pages a month so any reasonable book will take years before they start buggin me wondering where it is.

      • Franky Panky permalink
        February 4, 2019 11:08 am

        Correct you are Mouse-Droppings. I don’t get the Patreon Con. Con as in Confidence Trickster (e.g. James Maliszewski) not convention.

        However, I get all the money I need, and a real roof over My head– A home in a pleasant suburb, not a shitbox apartment in a L.A. slum. Plus all the baked goods I can eat. I don’t have to do squat for it either, except maybe give the the Missus the occasional bang in the box. Oh, the hardship. 😉 😉 A tough life, Mine.

        Final Note: Why would I whore out My esteemed self for a mere $5,000 per annum. That’s chump change. Ah, whore, chump… I understand it now.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        February 5, 2019 1:31 pm

        Man I was contemplating a raid onto that forum for oldtimessake to get you guys to feel like human beings again but…brrr. Best not sally forth into that abandoned ruin. Only ghosts there.

  33. Satine Phoenix's Daddy Issues permalink
    January 31, 2019 2:34 pm

    Wako Zako, even gibbering morons like Dragonfoot’s Sauna have had a go at starting their own forums. Ain’t no thang.

  34. bloodymage OFFICIAL [VERIFIED] permalink
    February 2, 2019 2:45 pm

    The ORIGINAL She Bleeds! Don’t settle for less!
    bloodymage the menstrual mage!
    Grace your home with this bloodymage throw pillow. BUY SOME PRODUCT!

    • Satine Phoenix's Daddy Issues permalink
      February 4, 2019 10:25 am

      Tested resistant to meatloaf sauce, drool, jizz, and various unclean bodily excretions.

      How awesome would it be if you were watching Storage Wars and some fat black guy paid 500 bucks for the contents, and proceeded to “WTF” himself to death over boxes of Bloodymage pillows, shower curtains, coffee mugs, and various gew gaws.

    • bloodymage OFFICIAL [VERIFIED] permalink
      February 4, 2019 6:58 pm

      Speaking of really fat colored people, Heavy Brown Trans bought out my entire prêt-à-porter spring line! Can you just imagine the heavy brown SHIT STAIN caked on the string riding up hir (its?) big fat butt crack?

  35. Kent's Rectum, LLC permalink
    February 3, 2019 5:35 am

    Hey you guys, this is your old pal Kent’s Rectum, here to announce our Super Bowel Sunday two for one buttsex special. Time to get in the huddle with everyone’s favorite wide receiver. Sweaty American Football players go to the head of the line.

  36. Frog Gode permalink
    February 6, 2019 8:46 am

    Thank you YDIS for trying for so long to keep us united in sarcasm and hatred and joy and poop jokes. In the end darkness was bound to conquer it all. Adieu.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      February 7, 2019 4:17 pm

      Is this a Kentish exit where we will see you again in three weeks?

  37. Dead Name Timmy permalink
    February 7, 2019 9:59 pm

    Hi Guys it’s me, Tammy S. Brannan! ! I’m a real witch now!

    • February 8, 2019 4:48 am

      I’d tap that in an Alpha Blue game.

      • Satine Phoenix's Daddy Issues permalink
        February 8, 2019 4:12 pm

        You forgot to say “hoss,” fuckface.

      • February 9, 2019 6:40 am

        Dread Cthulhu, you’re right! I’d tap that in an Alpha Blue game, “hoss,” fuckface. Better?

  38. Satine Phoenix's Daddy Issues permalink
    February 10, 2019 10:26 am


    Heh. Zak Smith eats a Snickers and turns into you.

    • zakbot permalink
      February 10, 2019 3:44 pm

      Pipe down the sex-positive ally bros are talking. Noone cares about you. I am a fun person who is super cool with everything and leads such a compelling and interesting life.

      • yourrpgisshit permalink
        February 10, 2019 6:01 pm

        Oh look yet another person came forward to tell everyone what everyone already knew: Zak is a sack of shit.

      • zakbot permalink
        February 10, 2019 6:06 pm

        Kiel Chenier has betrayed me. Stacye has betrayed me. Mike Evans remains loyal because he holds the KS account. Patrick. My sweet Patrick.Betayed.

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