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Gail Gygax Announces Artist for Memorial Statue, Work to Begin Shortly

July 16, 2017

Guys, I finally scooped Tenkar’s Tampon (Ha! Ha ha!). Gail Gygax contacted me directly to make the announcement that she’s chosen an artist for the Gary Gygax Memorial Statue of Gary Gygax. I know you’re all dying to know about the next stage of development of this exciting tribute to the creator of roleplaying games, here’s what she sent:

Dear YDIS, I write you today not to talk about the exquisite firmness of your buttocks, which exceed in all meaningful ways the flabby and pockmarked bottom of Kent. After much deliberation and a search that literally scoured the globe, I have chosen an artist to create a likeness to celebrate Gary and his accomplishments for all eternity. I have chosen… Scrap Princess!

The reasons for choosing Scrap Princess I think you’ll agree are obvious. The amazing talent stands out head and shoulders above her contemporaries. When I asked her initial thoughts about the form a statue to Gary might take, after several weeks of work she returned to me with this masterpiece:

gary at play with the world

It’s gorgeous! And to think it only took 2 months for Scrap Princess to draft this masterpiece. But she wasn’t satisfied and she’s actually forwarded several other concepts for consideration:

gary's creativity

A new Michelangelo in Wisconsin! Also this:

the lord gary christ

Amazing Scrap Princess, simply amazing. And another Scrap Princess color original:

beautiful gary

Bravo! Scrap’s artistry really captures Gary’s love of life.

There’s so much to love here, it may take us awhile to select a finalist. I’m leaning toward the red & blue scribble, which I think is not only exquisite artwork but also dramatically showcases Scrap Princess’s style and true talent. I expect this statue will rival the antiquities of Renaissance Italy and launch an artistic revival that may heal our fractured world. Sincerely yours, GG

This is exiting! I’m glad Gail has made a choice that dips into the deep talent pool of the OSR to honor the origins of the hobby. Looking forward to work beginning soon.

453 Comments leave one →
  1. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    July 16, 2017 6:09 pm

    Crap Princess’s sketches actually translate quite well to sculpture work. Check out her Lucy Ball work:

    • Timotheus permalink
      July 17, 2017 9:30 am

      Looks more like Fonzie.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        July 17, 2017 4:29 pm


  2. Timotheus permalink
    July 17, 2017 9:32 am

    Indeed, Scrappy Doo-doo’s intricate line work will symbolize the weapon-vs-AC to hit mods like nothing has before.

    Great scoop. Hopefully you did not have to compromise your moral standards to get Gail to open up to you this way.

  3. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    July 17, 2017 8:35 pm

    I hope when you porked Gail you wrapped yer hog. The save vs The Herps is pretty dire.

  4. July 18, 2017 2:39 pm

    The blowSR hangs by a knife… if the GARY OF WONDROUS POWER doesn’t work we’re all screwed! Well, we can always hope that Gail magic jarred him into a crystal ashtray… now we just need to transfer him into a virtua-Gygax program to continue reviewing game books he didn’t look at…. “ZOUNDS! YOU’LL AMAZE IN A VERISIMILITUDE OF WONDERS BEHOLDING WHAT EMERGES FROM YOUR MOUTH AS YOU POUR THROUGH THIS BOLD EXCRETION FROM THE AUTHOR! THIS BOOK BOMB IS PRINTED ON PAPER!”

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      July 20, 2017 2:40 pm

      GENE WAS THERE!!!!! alright just like this!

  5. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    July 18, 2017 5:05 pm

    It is good to see such exciting progress being made. I am so glad that I contributed to this project.

  6. July 18, 2017 5:12 pm

    we major

    • July 18, 2017 5:37 pm

      Haha you magnificent horseshit bastard, you’ve deprived a 16-year-girl about to be gifted a BMW the cherry on her cake.

      • July 18, 2017 6:28 pm

        It’s awful early in the birthday season to say “deprived” js

      • July 18, 2017 6:42 pm

        BY THE WAY after the predictable issues over the last few years based on me being involved, we’re getting married on August 4,unless I do a terrible thing between now and then, which obviously I would never do. We’re registered at both and

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        July 18, 2017 8:16 pm

        You’re marrying Taylor Swift or the sixteen-year-old girl?

  7. July 18, 2017 9:09 pm

    But seriously, who is the best musician ever, and why is it Taylor Swift? Discuss

  8. Kent permalink
    July 19, 2017 10:30 am

    A woman always marries the first guy to pensively stroke her buttocks.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      July 19, 2017 6:50 pm

      Back like a floater turd that just won’t flush! 😡

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        July 19, 2017 8:00 pm

        You have a knack for capturing the essence of an individual, old chum. Perhaps you should be the artist to sculpt the Gary Gygax memorial.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        July 20, 2017 1:00 am

        those really look cut-off. Those turds are the hardest to clean up from.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        July 20, 2017 2:46 pm

        Thanks BACLF! I appreciate the confidence but I’m still struggling to get my Dookie Drop Tables fanzine off the ground.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        July 20, 2017 6:49 pm

        eat, pee, wash, rinse, repeat

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        July 21, 2017 12:53 am

        I miss Blooey 😦

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        July 21, 2017 6:20 pm

        Better days now gone by 😦


      • Timotheus permalink
        July 22, 2017 8:20 am

        Bloo rocking the Utilikilt! I bet that was right after a fresh install.

  9. July 20, 2017 7:20 am

    I heard Scrap is going to expand her pallete into macaroni and glitter for Zak Shithead’s next opus.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      July 20, 2017 2:48 pm

      I heard Gail bought a Lexus with the money and now all that’s left is enough for a Fusilli Gary….

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        July 21, 2017 12:54 am

        Needs more polearms.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        July 21, 2017 7:02 am

        Kent: “one in a million shot, doc…”

      • Sykirobme permalink
        July 21, 2017 7:03 am

        Gene: “Kent, I was already there…”

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      July 21, 2017 6:22 pm

      Well, I got one piece done….

  10. Timotheus permalink
    July 22, 2017 8:34 am

    You guys remember that dude we trolled a few years ago, TheConservativeDM? I thought he was actually a front and had forgotten about him. Well turns out he is now the High Priest to alt-right also-rans Jeffblow and Circumsova. Both of those losers go on about the One True Way to play D&D like a JMal suppository. Circum just linked to a ConservativeGM (who now calls himself the Alt-RightDM) post about good and evil in gaming/real life, which is in turn bitching about some other tool’s blog.

    ” Sloppy, sloppy thinking and blindness. You can’t turn on the news without seeing the forces of good (Christendom/Trump) in conflict with the forces of evil (Islam/The rest of Washington D.C.).”

    “The fact that we live in an age where scientism is rampant and people’s education has left them susceptible to the whispered seductions of the, “Well, that’s just like, your opinion, man,” crowd doesn’t negate two THOUSAND years of study and scholarship.”

    Worth a laugh to read. Still not sure this not trolling, given how over the top he was and is. Really reads like something Schiz would do (like the Stonefister take-down of Witchiepoo).

    • July 22, 2017 11:20 am


    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      July 22, 2017 4:39 pm

      Ain’t nobody call me out tho. Musta been too impressed by my iron-clad reasoning.

      Nah, it’s the ‘sign up to comment’ bullshit.

      I like the bit about ‘scientism’- the whole anthropogenic climate change issue, well that and evolution by means of natural selection thing, is the hill that right-of-center intellectualism died on.

      Fuckin’ magnets, here’s the next GOP presidential candidate…

    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      July 23, 2017 7:27 am

      The trouble with this alt-right fuckery is that it’s reified the sort of silly bullshit one once knew to call silly bullshit and ignore. Now EVERY idea, no matter how barking mad it seems, demands to be considered as something that might actually happen outside the tiny minds of fantasists.

  11. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    July 23, 2017 12:55 pm

    The above Bloodymage comments have taken me back to those Halcyon days of Bloomania.

    I’m still in mourning over the lost chance to attend BlooeyCon or whatever the name of the yearly gaming gathering he was planning for in Arizona. Even though he was in frequent home moving by then, he had faith he would be in that area for a long time, filling up his days during the year prepping for his con. Wheeling and dealing with hotels and convention centers (probably initially offering them a chance to partner with him for a nominal fee), arranging special guests (can’t remember the name, but he had actually gotten a VIP to commit), commissioning souvenirs and a mascot costume, and enticing us all by declaring his dog walker fiancé had stepped up to concoct a delicious devilled egg recipe to serve in the hospitality suite, likely to have been ground zero for gamer dork fun to bar none.

    Sure, I could go to any con to see mouth breathing, irregular goatee sporting, pot bellied RPG fuckfaces. But Blooeycon would have been a whole new level. Hell, even if it had been a failure, me and ol’ Blooey would have been at a table in a roomy but silent hall, him grinning that sweet Blooey grin as he decimated my party who dared face The Stink in Golanda. I’d have sat there eagerly, sucking on a Newcastle, and just basking in the Bloo glow.

    Ah, what might have been, Sigh!!!

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      July 23, 2017 7:30 pm

      My favorite detail was his call for armed security guards… you never know when Al Qaeda is going to launch an attack on a gaming convention in East Cuckhollow, Arizona.

      • Timotheus permalink
        July 24, 2017 12:10 pm

        In fairness, a successful terrorist attack against gaming nerds might have generated some sympathy for Al Qaeda or ISIS in that part of the country. Bloo was perhaps forward-thinking here.

    • Timotheus permalink
      July 24, 2017 12:06 pm

      Yeah, it was Rick Loomis who agreed to be his VIP. I wonder how much he agreed to pay Bloo for that honor?

  12. July 24, 2017 9:27 am

    I was not here!

    However, I was there…

    Whats in this jar of old timey TSR?

    Groundbreaking but ultimately mediocre standard rpg design?


    What about tacky shit like shirtless people?


    How about Gene Weigel?



    I might not have been there for TSR but I’ll be here for the funeral of the OSR. Or did I miss that?

  13. The Toilet permalink
    July 24, 2017 12:03 pm

    You half-dozen Shits are loitering indefinitely. I’m calling the cops.

    Toilet cops don’t like Shits-That-Won’t-Flush. That’s all of you guys. Get it?

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      July 24, 2017 1:27 pm

      Dude I had to scroll through Alexis AND gene to get at this comment. Sanity points spent. The least you could have done was give us some titties.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        July 24, 2017 2:19 pm

        Don’t expect titties from Kent, that’s now how he rolls.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        July 24, 2017 9:21 pm

        I will take a Gene over Kent any day. ANY FUCKING DAY.

  14. Rubber Duck Shaped Lump of Shit permalink
    July 24, 2017 2:14 pm

    Hey Pal !!

    Don’t lump me in with these YDIS guys. They are the Shits-That-Won’t-Flush, not me. I’m not supposed to flush by design. The YDIS stinkmen are the loitering shits with nowhere to go, with no friends, not me pal.

    Where is a Toilet Cop when ya need one?

  15. The Toilet Brush permalink
    July 24, 2017 2:26 pm

    No fucking way is any Toilet Cop using me to deal with these disgusting YDIS guys, they make me sick on my bristles. I’m not touching those filthy whores, those stinkmen.


  16. Rubber Duck Shaped Lump of Shit permalink
    July 24, 2017 2:47 pm

    Help !!

    The YDIS guys are kissing me again !

  17. Regular Forum Guy & D&D Gamer permalink
    July 24, 2017 4:58 pm

    ha ha ha

    Looks like someone is finally taking the your dungeon is suck crowd to task for being a bunch of scoundrels.

    D&D is a social game for friendly folks. Who knows how in God’s name a bunch of scurrilous ratbags of the first order were mistakenly made aware of our gentlemanly game, which does not have any excrements on it at all.

    D&D is a game for humans. Not for lumps of shit that won’t flush and hang around the YDIS internet computer website.

    If you would like to lick my D&D balls come visit me at the knights and knaves and gays website.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      July 24, 2017 9:22 pm

      Hi Kent!

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        July 24, 2017 10:57 pm

        The eternal Kuntcycle of being Kent, declaring he’s done here, and coming back lickety split with sock puppets gibbering out unfunny nonsense.

        Or is it genius? Some say Andy Kaufman was a genius, with his unfunny and pointless BS.

        I say he was a useless cunt. Like Kunt!

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        July 25, 2017 10:02 am

        You broke his brain, old chum. Remember when he pretended to be intelligent, and accused everybody of not reading? Now, his mind is literally in the toilet (he’s prattling on about the Toilet Police because he was arrested for giving blumpkins in a public WC).

        From Shakespeare to shit in a year or two… You broke his brain, which was never impressive to begin with.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        July 25, 2017 10:10 am

        Heh heh…I did fuck him up pretty bad. “Kunt” alone must still sting after all these years. That one was pure gold, as he used to constantly refer to those here as cunts. “Now I’m off to read a 600 page book about peasant use of grommets and spoons in Elizabethan England, you cunting cuntity cunt cunts!”

        I’d say he was sort of our own personal Blooey, except I didn’t want Blooey to die. Still, being the biggest, lamest laughing stock in the OSR has him on a collision course with his suicide tub. Hope you’re having a great summer, Kunthole! remember; the pain can end today! No more pain!

  18. Lump of Shit in the Shape of YDIS's Mother's Vagina permalink
    July 24, 2017 5:06 pm

    I could really do with a fuck.

    Who knows maybe a new cool website might be born.

  19. Closet Case Kent permalink
    July 24, 2017 9:26 pm

    Ignore me. I’m a drunk, Irish, bald, fat, under educated, and also Kent.

    And totally gay.

  20. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    July 24, 2017 10:53 pm

    Could Grohog and T. Fisters old buttplug Wheggi’s new fanzine be any less inspirational.

    “Twisting Stair?” “we listen at the door, do we hear anything?”

    Are these dipshits trying to tap into the last three 60 year old dudes who still find these trappings of boring old exploratory gameplay an inspiration?

    This shit is totally Jamalian.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      July 25, 2017 10:04 am

      Hey, now, I’m sure plenty of people could use modifiers for various helm/coif combinations and the use of ear horns.

      What I really want is an in-depth discussion of initiative.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      July 25, 2017 6:32 pm

      It’s nice that he has all that convoluted shipping information available to make life easier for collectors of such valuable historical ephemera but what if I only want one of my obviously obligatory two copies to be backed by cardboard for archival purposes? Some of us actually game, you know!

      • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
        July 27, 2017 11:03 pm

        Proof or you are a LIAR!

      • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
        July 27, 2017 11:05 pm

        I’m sorry about that. When we hired the person responsible for the previous comment, we knew he was a controversial figure with a history of cyberbullying our employees, but frankly we don’t care ’cause if there’s a chance of a pop at that ex-Suicide Girl who’s woke as fuck we’ll take it. It’s cold in Sweden and none of the Scandi girls like us.

  21. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    July 27, 2017 5:50 pm

    YDIS: “Guys, I finally scooped Tenkar’s Tampon (Ha! Ha ha!).”

    What, did you put up an RPGNow affiliate kickback link in a post devoid of any meaningful content before he did or something?

    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      July 27, 2017 11:07 pm

      I think he’s talking about pooper scooping. Note the Kentian flourish of the “Ha! Ha ha!”

  22. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    July 27, 2017 5:53 pm

    I think this guy might be the new JaMal. “I’ve never played…” “I’ve never read…” “I’ve never seen…”
    And then he gets it wrong by naming Dallas as the first licensed RPG.

    Also, does anyone still read EN World anymore? Is it even relevant?

  23. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    July 27, 2017 9:14 pm

    I’m a little broken up now that June Foray has died, and I’m totally weirded out by learning that she was a bona fide sexpot back in the day.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      July 27, 2017 10:06 pm

      That was Jokey Smurf? Now there’s a surprise.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        July 27, 2017 11:28 pm

        Can’t spell ‘Jokey’ without ‘JO’.

  24. July 28, 2017 6:53 am

    DALLAS the Game. I remember thinking WOW WE CAN PLAY THIS TONIGHT!” 4 hours of confusing text and layout later. Chucks in the corner… breaks out a pack of cards. ANYONE FOR POKER? But you don’t play cards. SHADDAP!

    Back to the insane sensational topics of the day usually served around here.

    Gygax memorial?

    World War II related aspects? A Japanese pilots’ head in a jar with a hex map and chits carved on it?

    What about Dave Arneson crawling out of a sewer and pulling the DUNGEON MASTERS GUIDE out of his hands?

    Lorraine Williams showing him his divorce papers and pointing to a door that says LOSERVILLE?

    Anybody? Anybody?

    Alright, how about him putting out a cigar in Zeb Cook’s eye socket?

    No, wait. A special pair of glasses where you can see me standing over Gary as he writes GREYHAWK and I’m wearing a t-shirt thats says “I’M HERE”.


  25. Timotheus permalink
    July 30, 2017 7:57 am

    OK, I know I pick on this little racist faggot too much, but alt-right hate mongers deserve it (particularly when they are besmirching Pulp Fiction by claiming it as their own). And his “You are doing it wrong” is the standard issue bullshit from the early days of the BlOwSR, so he deserves some highlighting. Here, in the third part of his in depth exploration of how we have all misunderstood alignment the last five decades, he talks gives some specific examples:

    “People DON’T understand the Law/Chaos spectrum any more than they understand the Good/Evil spectrum. For instance, many people think of Chaotic Good as the either the guy who does some good but is inherently selfish or someone who tries to do good but breaks laws while doing so. A lot of people would give Robin Hood as an example of Chaotic Good, but they’d be wrong, and here’s why:”

    For the rest of the holy decree, you will need to check out his exciting post (with helpful links to the other two parts where he demonstrates why we have all been misunderstanding Detect Evil spells):

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      July 30, 2017 5:04 pm

      Funny to see a guy proudly displaying a “gamergate” Confederate flag on his website trying to define good and evil or, for that matter, law and chaos.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      July 31, 2017 9:20 pm

      Ooooh, an alignment debate! Here’s my unsolicited rambling manifesto, I mean scholarly response, on the subject:

      Alignment is just a bunch of baloney that allows you to play the game.

      If you’re a turbo murder hobo then you’re just plain evil no matter what. Just because the monster you’re killing is a nasty goblin that doesn’t make you a good guy. There are no such things as monsters in real life. If it walks on two legs and uses tools and fire and speaks English and wears a hat then it’s just a stand-in for an ugly little person. Massacring his whole family at dinnertime isn’t OK because “oh, he’s evil” and “he was definitely going to do something bad (eventually).” A man (or a goblin) is defined by his actions. Or as the sage Batman said “It’s not what you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you.” If your paladin ambushes and greases a dozen goblins that were just minding their own little goblin business because he thinks they are “evil” then he is not a shining beacon of light and justice, he’s a mass-murdering vigilante psycho. But you can’t play the game that way so you have to label these guys “good” and these guys “evil.” And since your average D&Der is a mouth breathing Aspie (present company excluded of course) they throw in Law and Chaos too. You may as well endlessly complicate things. Why not?

      That’s all alignment is. It’s just a made-up game mechanic that lets you play the game. It has no application in real life because people have free will in real life and can choose to be a good or bad person everyday.

      I’ll end with some Helpful Playing Tips:

      As a player you always want to choose Neutral so the DM doesn’t screw you over when you accidentally touch the evil altar or whatever.

      In the same vein, playing a chick so you don’t get charmed by all the magic mermaids is also a good idea but then you have to spend the night talking like a little old lady from a Monte Python skit. YMMV depending on the dorkiness of your group.

      • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
        July 31, 2017 11:48 pm

        It’s all gone downhill since Good and Evil came into the equation. Alignment is for deciding who (or what) can Turn/Smite/Detect who (or what) and that’s an end on it. Morality can get te feck, as they say in the Old Country.

        I know this, and I WASN’T EVEN THERE.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 1, 2017 5:09 am

      It’s funny the kid who says “All fantasy after 1980 is PC shit put out by THEM” can’t even bring up Moorcock in an examination of Law vs. Chaos.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      August 1, 2017 10:25 am

      The central point, which I believe has been touched upon many times from the 2nd edition (when things got writefaggity) to Book of Fucking Vile Darkness by MC onwards, is that of a universe with an objective moral order, which I guess makes sense if you are going to use something as wonky as alignment and battles between fundamental forces as opposed to DH style character traits and shades of grey.

      The murder hobo as the functional sociopath would probably fall into the evil spectrum but a Faffhrd or a Conan could well fall into the non-turd in the punchbowl category. I’ve always viewed it as part of the GM’s task to portray the world in such terms that fun adventuring stuff (i.e jailbreaks, theft, assasination) does not automatically land one in the moral abyss. Ultimately, alignment is kind of shit, which is why I actually prefer the vague Lotfp/Carcosa variants.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 1, 2017 10:29 am

        Agree that a discussion of Moorcock/Three Hearts Three Lions was needed. Still prefer a thousand Cirsovae to one page of Wundergeek.

  26. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    July 30, 2017 9:09 pm

    Via Sarge, everybody’s favorite cleric/thief is back in the public eye:

    Years ago, I wrote a bit of doggerel…

    A Pope, a Pastor
    A Priest of Hastur
    Damn, this hobby’s
    A disaster.

    Funny how the guy who portrays himself as being on ‘team Evil’ is the one with the best ethics.

    • Timotheus permalink
      July 31, 2017 7:45 am

      Ha! I remember that, Bigs! And yeah, it can’t be overlooked that the guy who worships Lovecraft’s fictions is more reliable than the Bible-thumpers.

    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      July 31, 2017 11:52 pm

      What the fuck is with that Marvin the Martian chap though?

      “I’m ashamed to see conmen publicly pilloried and their failings discussed in public where they’re accountable to the marketplace and others can learn, with a constructive solution offered. ASHAMED.”

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 1, 2017 5:15 am

        Probably an Altar Boy at one of the Cleric/Thief’s congregations. Still going through his Stockholm period.

    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      July 31, 2017 11:53 pm

      As for Venger… evidently he’s Lawful Evil.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 1, 2017 12:58 pm

        I’d list him as Chaotic Good, he likes his fun, but he’s basically harmless. Sure, he pretends to use Cthulhu Rune Magick on other weirdos, but he’s not cheating anyone.

    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      August 1, 2017 2:47 am

      Final thought, (and final it should be, lest I become Kent):

      “Some years ago, I wrote…” is the hallmark of the Former Pope of the OSR. You skirt a dangerous, fluff-lined abyss here.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 1, 2017 12:56 pm

        I won’t make a habit of it… Or as in Mal’s case, a career of it.

  27. Vulgar and Demented Irishman permalink
    August 1, 2017 2:50 am

    JAYSUS you lot are a bunch of godless Shirt Lifters if ever I saw them. ROGERING one another in STAIRWELLS then creaking out with your JAGGED SHITS hanging spunkridden from your MEALY WHITE BUTTOCKS, not a fine black buttock you understand but a sack of SPUNK PORRIDGE with a JAGGED SHIT in the middle.

    • Vulgar and Demented Irishman permalink
      August 1, 2017 2:52 am

      What’s that, you say? Yes, I am Kent, in a way. Or rather, I am Kent as he should have been. You are all RUBBISH and he is REDUNDANT now.

  28. Vulgar and Demented Irishman permalink
    August 1, 2017 2:53 am


    • Vulgar and Demented Irishman permalink
      August 1, 2017 2:55 am

      I called him a PONCE and now I’m calling you one. PONCE!

      Ah, Withnail & I. What a movie.


      You lot wouldn’t know about that.

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 1, 2017 5:18 am

        kent, I have a feeling that watching Hawk the Slayer would change your life. And vastly improve your DMing abilities.

  29. Timotheus permalink
    August 1, 2017 5:41 am

    Things are getting great on this thread, with the Perilous Creamer making more accusations of a smear campaign, the mod spanking him on it, and another pposter calling the mod the Thought Police and begging for a ban. Read it before its gone (like a couple of other recent ODD threads have gone AWOL):

    Poor Fin. This used to be the nicest and drama-free board, but the Creamer and others have been ratcheting it up lately, and that second mod has let his position go to his head and loves to smack people.

    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      August 1, 2017 6:59 am

      Gor is one of those topics that brings out the worst in people.

      That Bloody Nine chap has such a great case of the Serious Business. Tar and feather time or get him in here as a Guest Poster?

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 1, 2017 1:00 pm

      Stay awesome, Venge, you amiable goofball.

      • August 3, 2017 12:23 pm

        I shall try, hoss. Thank you.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 3, 2017 1:29 pm

        Venge, if you ever get your ass to New York, I will treat you to a delicious spleen sandwich at Ferdinando’s Focacciaria in Red Hook, and you can get your “Lovecraft in Brooklyn” on.

        Have a ftghn day, chum!

      • August 4, 2017 7:36 am

        Thanks, hoss! 5 young kids pretty much guarantees I’m not going any farther than Lake Geneva for awhile; unless you count Disney World. Someday…

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 4, 2017 1:14 pm

        The Horror at Red Hook…

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 1, 2017 2:56 pm

      Holy shit, Venger! What a bunch of sanctimonious assholes. I love the faggot that says Crap’s art has NEVER EVER reminded him(her?) of a 4 year old’s scribbles.

      For what its worth, your daughter’s art blows Crap’s out of the fucking water.

      • August 3, 2017 12:22 pm

        I think they’re both great artists. I realized my art would never be up to snuff long ago, that’s why I write. 😉

      • August 4, 2017 9:13 pm

        Really? I now want to see you draw something because, and I mean this as disrespectfully towards Crap Princess as possible, I seriously, honestly cannot imagine someone drawing anything worse than her.


    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      August 1, 2017 5:50 pm

      Hey Venger,

      You blogged last year about a game you ran at Garycon where the players found a secret room with three statues and they could not figure out what to do in it. One of the players said (in character) that it was the most boring secret room they ever found which made you feel like the shittiest GM in the world.

      Well, when I read that I felt like the shittiest player in the world. I didn’t realize how thoughtless and mean-spirited that was to say. I apologize. I may be a little socially maladjusted (obviously if I frequent this site) but that is no excuse. Rest assured that the descriptor “boring” is not one I would knowingly use to describe your insane games. I had a blast and hope to game with you again sometime. I was going to apologize to you at Garycon this year but I never ran into you.

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 1, 2017 5:58 pm

        Dude, every time you apologize to Venger, a seal in R’lyeh is broken.

      • August 3, 2017 12:19 pm

        No need to apologize, your comment was spot on – it was pretty boring, which is a cardinal sin for GMs everywhere.

        I should have prepared more. I’d say 95% of the time, inspiration is at hand and I don’t need no stinking notes! But that leaves me with 5% of my ass being uncovered.

        At least I rectified my screw up a minute later. Though, a minute can be an eternity when you’re sitting in the hot seat.

        I look forward to our next meeting/game. I’ll be at Game Hole Con and Gary Con next year.

      • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
        August 3, 2017 4:19 pm

        Cool beans. To commemorate your forgiveness and blessing I shall temporarily reassume my previous nom de plume originally created in your honor.

      • August 4, 2017 7:51 am

        That is a cool name and suitable for a Vengerized campaign setting of gonzo, eldritch, pulp, exploitation, science-fantasy demonporn!

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 5, 2017 3:02 pm

        Boring game? I learned looong ago that if your attempt to puzzle, dazzle, or even heaven forbid educate a group during gameplay and you sense it’s boring them, just have some goblins pop out. Combat picks up the pace in games lickety split.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 5, 2017 4:44 pm

        There’s always the reliable rats and 2000 CP option. Now that’s what I call a fifty-thousand dollar idea.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 1, 2017 5:53 pm

      Joel Bethell’s profile photo
      Joel Bethell
      That blog is from Something Awful isnt’ it? Those guys are such hateful creeps.

      This fag is serious, guys! Regurgitating Pundejo/Attack/Reifenstal propaganda! My new hero.

      • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
        August 1, 2017 11:44 pm

        Hands up, trust tree time: who here is ACTUALLY affiliated with Something Awful or even likes their stuff? I know Prince reads “WTF, D&D”. Who else?

        It’s time for some FACTS all up in this business.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        August 1, 2017 11:57 pm

        I get my daily news from the Thinkforus blog. And also my cat videos.

      • Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
        August 2, 2017 3:37 am

        I am something awful.

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 2, 2017 5:33 am

        Truthfully, I have never been to Something Awful. That’s just Pundejo’s paranoid screed where all of his enemies are the same person.

        Interesting to note that Venger believes something written here on July 16 was in response to something he wrote on July 25. If anything, he stole from YDIS. And while Pundejo is the world wide leader in plagiarism, Venger has a sordid history in that department as documented here a few years ago.

      • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
        August 2, 2017 9:46 am

        (Full disclosure: I read WTF, D&D but have no other contact with SA.)

        I hadn’t noticed the respective dates involved but it’ll be fun to see if anyone else does.

      • August 3, 2017 12:31 pm

        Oops. I hadn’t noticed the date of this post. For awhile, I was checking this site for updates once a week, then once a month. I just assumed it had been written just after my art post on g+. My bad.

        Venger steals HPL quotes from Wikipedia, but then attributes them to HPL… and eventually Wikipedia. I am the plagiarism!

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 5, 2017 7:16 am

        I read WTF, DnD a long time ago and I am one of the three people to have actually bought Zack Parson’s weird-alternate history novel Liminal States (I liked it for what it’s worth). I read SA frequently about 10? years ago but the quality has dropped and the articles get kind of samey. I’ve heard the community is pretty SJW-y so I can’t see myself associating with the SA community any time soon. Besides, 4e players? Disgusting.

    • August 2, 2017 2:00 pm

      Comparing Crap Princess’s shitty art to four year olds is insulting to four year olds.

      I DID lol at all the wankers on G+ getting butthurt on Crap’s behalf. I keep hoping someone else will make another abortion like Fire on the Velvet Horizon, just to see if they’ll keep pretending it’s good.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 2, 2017 7:25 pm

        That Victor Garrison guy is pure comedy gold:

        The reason why I got pissed at this post is that your daughter’s picture, while it may be adorable or even impressive to you, still looks like typical 4 yr old scribble to me (trust me, I have an entire archive of every scribbled drawing my kids made while growing up…and my adult son is now a visual artist). Scrap’s work, of which I’ve viewed a lot of, has NEVER EVER reminded me of kid scribble. FUCK ME, her shit is powerful and hits hard on so many levels. It conveys massive anxiety produced by fear of the unknown. Her images project an ‘outside of time and space’ motion as if she was able to capture art that is 4 dimensional. Her images capture motion.Her images are hidden within themselves. Her images demand that your imagination fills in the blanks based on what horrifies you.
        Her images can be hellish.

        Too bad Venge backed off, I guess they don’t make Evil High Priests like they used to.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 2, 2017 7:31 pm

        Venge brings the… uh… vengeance, with a… uh… vengeance:

        You may not be trying to hurt me physically, but damage me in the real world. That kind of thing does not go unpunished by Venger Satanis.

        You know he’s going to cast a mighty invocation now.

        Forget the crappy Tabletop RPG product, the real OSR is a LARP.

      • Vulgar and Demented Irishman permalink
        August 2, 2017 10:39 pm

        People who talk about Art are also RUBBISH. Read this torrent of vagaries! Use your eyes, I know you have them, so use them.

        This Bottom Feeder* prattles on and on about how he feels and wanks about things he doesn’t understand, like Euclid and imagination and that. All we learn from this is how he feels about Art or whatever it is that pretty witty Scrap Princess does when not giving Blow Jobs in a back alley.

        * that’s Shit Eating Garbage Man (like you) to you.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 2, 2017 11:28 pm

        You are projecting again, Durr Hurr,

      • August 4, 2017 9:21 pm

        My takeaway from Victor’s post is that he is both a fucking idiot and his shitty opinions cannot be trusted. I mean there’s hyperbole and then there’s just blatant lying.

        And as I said above there’s also a reason Crap’s *ahem* “art” is routinely described as childish; it’s not because it’s “hellish” or “powerful” or “hits hard”, but because it’s shitty and looks like a fucking child drew it.

  30. Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
    August 1, 2017 7:05 pm

    This blog really needs a guest blogger, like maybe TheUglyGirl. Wait! Duh! That’s Kent! We already have a worthless, shameless hanger on, a Menzter to YDIS’s Gygax.

  31. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    August 3, 2017 12:05 am

    Another ‘Jeffro’ thread goes down in, heh, flames..

    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      August 3, 2017 2:42 am

      Good grief, the Perilous Correctness goes off on one there, to say nothing of that poor lad for whom a gay character is a symptom of the universe gone tragically, tragically wrong. Everything is EVIL to these people. Pearl-clutchers be damned.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 3, 2017 6:13 am

      It was THEM! THEY are trying to silence Jeffro, so that YOU do not know the TRUTH about Appendix N!!!

      Meanwhile, back in the Gor thread, is anybody surprised that Creepy Turtleneck Boy can recite the content of the first dozen Gor books?

      • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
        August 3, 2017 4:45 pm

        The last guy I saw rocking that hairdo was the whacko from No Country For Old Men.

    • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
      August 3, 2017 6:04 pm

      First they came for the homo space cadets, and I did not speak out –
      Because I was not a homo space cadet.

      Then they came for the cross-dressing ladyboy cyborgs, and I did not speak out –
      Because I was not a cross-dressing ladyboy cyborg.

      Then they came for the diaper-wearing toe-sucking shit-eating kiddie-diddling dinosaur rapers, and I did not speak out –
      Because I was not a diaper-wearing toe-sucking shit-eating kiddie-diddling dinosaur raper.

      Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak for me.

      • Vulgar and Demented Irishman permalink
        August 3, 2017 10:49 pm

        You are worse than all of those things. You want working on, boy.

  32. Pinkie permalink
    August 4, 2017 5:42 am

    Hi, i am pinkie. I am 6 and my uncle erik lets me use the computer when he is having a nap with mom. There are always lots of open tabs with pictures of big bald naked men named ken, and also one with mister ydis’ blog. is scrap princess a real princess ? also do you have her address ? her drawings are very nice. i did drawings like these when i was her age and maybe i could help her. XOXO

  33. Timotheus permalink
    August 5, 2017 6:44 pm

    YourRPGisShit first pointed this out on her(his?Xir?) website (which is more productive than YDIS has been the last couple of years…get cracking, bitch), but kent’s fantasy fuck Patrick Stewart and the Attack are bashing people for not adoring Poo Medusa on the RPGShite.

    Solid Gold Takeaway: Zakina thinks D&D is inherently nihilistic. He makes an argument that encompasses everything that is not solid meatspace, and then of course denies it. He is objectively insane.

    Bonus takeaway: he thinks the absence of a god makes life inherently meaningless.

    Yeah, the Attack lives in a shithole surrounded by dead-enders; so nobody else’s life has meaning either – and if you think differently you are a LIAR.

    • August 6, 2017 9:24 am

      its defenders certainly are fulsome

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
      August 6, 2017 10:15 am

      Zpastic has obviously increased his amphetamine use since he’s officially a sad loser in an empty apartment. Again crowing his achievements as if he’s achieved something greater than the record for not washing the dishes or changing his underwear since Mandy left his lame ass.

      • August 7, 2017 1:52 pm

        Thanks for the shoutout Timotheus! I started that blog because I stumbled on this one and realized that the hobby needs more people pointing out all the bad/stupid shit.

        Lamentations: did Mandy really leave Zak? Gotta link to that?

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 7, 2017 5:59 pm

        YRIS, we talked about in the previous thread. I don’t think Zakina ever acknowledged on his blog – maybe on G+, which he rabidly gatekeeps. But Mandy mentioned it roundabout on her twitter feed, as she moved back to Canda and begged her followers for furniture and food. Happened sometime in March or April.

      • Vulgar and Demented Irishman permalink
        August 7, 2017 11:07 pm

        There’s a nice lass who just wants a haircut and socialised healthcare and she’ll be presentable again. Proper little fox.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 9, 2017 11:19 am

        I had never heard of yourrpgisshit before but that long-winded hatescreed against Kate bullock reminded me that I have not ranted about Wundergeek for a while. I was so content knowing she had given up and probably died from the sheer existential malaise of having to live in a 1st world country as a woman-thing, but I knew deep down that that patreon-account was not going to support itself 😦

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 9, 2017 1:28 pm

        I actually like some of Ragg’s shit but this characterisation and analysis is actually spot on.

  34. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 6, 2017 8:35 am

    Hey Kent, the storygame PbtA Dungeon World crowd is where you want to be!

  35. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 6, 2017 8:41 am

    Is it just me or would some Poag baby raping and eating orc art be a palette cleansing refreshing change right about now?

  36. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 6, 2017 11:38 am

    Anybody seen this wank-happy thread? That Amazonbanshee slag sure seems to enjoy tales of game rape. The Unblown’s limp middle-aged dicks must be experiencing a bit of movement here. Drool/spunk-dribble on the keyboards!

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 6, 2017 5:39 pm

      Looks like one of the mods scrubbed it, the link doesn’t work for me. Which sub-forum was it in?

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 7, 2017 12:00 pm

        play by post, general chat, White Star campaign. It’s still there, a thread about “romance” in the campaign. I think the main DF mod (Steve?) is right there gleefully partaking in the wank happy doings…

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 7, 2017 3:52 pm

        Thanks for the tip… I’m not about to join up just to read some ‘Space Raptor Butt Invasion’ fanfic.

    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      August 7, 2017 11:11 pm

      Sweet Lucifer’s armpit, that’s a lot of stuff and nonsense over “establishing boundaries” and fretting over who’s the main character. I didn’t think Dragonsharters were supposed to worry about this sort of thing. That sort of carry-on is for the Swine pens, dammit!

      (Fucking hilarious that all their PCs are married to imaginary women modelled on Page 3 girls though. I’LL BET THEY ARE, and I’ll bet you had whole minutes of fun looking for reliable imagery too, eh what?)

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 8, 2017 9:32 am

        It’s just so damn funny that these limey fuckfaces are so jazzed about what seems to be a real female in their little online jack fest. Too bad she probably looks like Janet Reno.

  37. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    August 6, 2017 9:17 pm


    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      August 6, 2017 10:04 pm

      Not even at the bottom of page one and Detective Dipshit is on the case. irishwarrior has taken the red pill and it’s given him SUPER SECRET SQUIRREL VISION, not to mention a deep love for the word ‘Orwellian’. His only weakness – a total lack of perspective! Fairness and justice in elfgame forum moderation is the most serious issue of our times, totally worth investigation and presentation to kangaroo courts of nobody in…

      … huh. My doorbell just rung. Irony was calling.

      • Fake Woke WFRP permalink
        August 6, 2017 10:07 pm

        Oakes Spalding
        Human Muckraker (ex-Beggar)
        Neutral (claims Good)
        Religion: Crystal Dragon Jesus, but he keeps it on the downlow (hah!)
        Insanity: compulsive arguing the toss over shit that don’t matter

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 10, 2017 5:22 pm

        Another generous donation has been made to Planned Parenthood in Oakes Spalding’s name.

  38. Zhack permalink
    August 9, 2017 1:47 am

    Mandy oh Mandy why did you block me? Now to reach you I have to comment on the only blog everyone reads. Come home you sweet little bundle of dying tatooed flesh! Don’t you remember what we had?

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      August 9, 2017 11:45 am

      Camera work is about as good as I Hit it with my Axe.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 9, 2017 1:09 pm


      Are those S.S. Death’s Head symbols she has tattooed down her legs? Maybe that explains Zakina’s restrained use of the “Hitler tried to kill my family” card. Mandy’s family was in on it.

      • Hehaw permalink
        August 15, 2017 7:44 pm

        As if things couldn’t be more laughable, there’s a clip of Zunt’s little experiment in gay porn on one of those sites. No “ass play” for him, but he did allow some dude to pull on his dick. So Gay for play, is certainly on the table when the rent is due.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 10, 2017 5:23 pm

      Who knew scab covered cripple porn was a fetish thing?

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 10, 2017 9:18 pm

        It’s a pretty safe bet on a planet where vore is a thing.

      • Frog Gode permalink
        August 11, 2017 2:32 am

        “With no known treatment” for vorarephiles who feel ill at ease with their sexuality, psychologists at Toronto’s Centre for Addiction and Mental Health have recommended trying to adjust to, rather than change or suppress the sexual interest.” Ô Canada…

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        August 11, 2017 6:43 am

        While Zpastic never can get around to cleaning his apartment or washing the food caked dishes, he just eats off paper plates since Mandy left, he never misses an eyebrow threading appointment. This guy has the most absolutely fucked priority system imaginable. It’s not narcissistic to google your own name every five minutes, it’s proving people are liars.

    • Frog Gode permalink
      August 11, 2017 12:20 am

      OSR masterclass here : first you Hide in shadows, then you backstab (and obviously all weapons deal the same damage whatever their size).

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 11, 2017 12:05 pm

        That presupposes a thief class, with the attendant mechanics. That’s not in the 3LBB! New school heresy!!!!

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 11, 2017 10:33 pm

        Frog Gode just exposed xirself as a storygamer with that Thief microaggression shit.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 11, 2017 11:05 pm

        Point out on this doll where the percentile skills table touched you!

  39. August 11, 2017 10:13 pm

    The Vampire OSR begins?

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 11, 2017 10:35 pm

      Seems like a good place to post ‘Ass Eaters of Pyongyang’.

  40. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 13, 2017 6:18 am

    I didn’t know there was an OSR gaming convention in Charlottesville Virginia this weekend….

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 13, 2017 6:37 am

      Jon Tarnowski takes a brave stand on the issue:

      “Just to be clear:

      If some Nazi wants to march at my side at a Free Speech rally, I’m no one to stop him.”

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 13, 2017 12:44 pm

        The wicked flee when none pursueth.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 13, 2017 5:12 pm

        It was bad enough when Pundejo was lauding the assault of a chick by a guy with a violent police record, but now he’s making excuses for a bunch of Nazis, one of whom killed a girl.

        Now that Pundejo’s gone full-Nazi, I give him three months until he ends up like this.

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 13, 2017 6:55 pm

        Yeah, only a matter of time until Pundejo is stumbling around some creek in Uruguay, urging a handful of monkeys, inflatable frogs, and television repair men to follow him, the Wrath of Kek, in a final, glorious crusade against the Swine.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        August 14, 2017 7:06 am

        Is this surprising coming from someone who lauded Anders Breivik?

        I just find it hilarious that he was a way-left lefty back in ’08.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 14, 2017 10:18 am

        Ultimately, I think we can all safely conclude that Hitler would have done nothing wrong had the holocaust really happened amirite?

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 14, 2017 10:19 am

        (In all seriousness, Commies and Nazi’s share so many of the same traits it makes perfect sense that Pundo used to be far-left and is now lukewarm right. The neural architecture of the SJW remains essentially unchanged.)

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 14, 2017 4:00 pm

        Lukewarm right?

        Compared to Attila the Hun, maybe.

        By using the SJW as your touchstone, you are deluding yourself about where you are, buddy.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 16, 2017 12:59 pm

        Pundo does have some libertardian roots so mea culpa on that one, but we are not truly arguing Pundo is a nazi or anything like that right? I mean he’s a shitbag with poor physical and mental hygiene but we don’t actually believe he supports Breyvik or Nazi’s or hates jews or mexicans or whatever the talking point du jour is right?

        I suggest that marching with Nazi’s stuff is because of a quasi-religious devotion to free speech pur sang and freedom of association as a result of his lolbertarian heritage, not a desire to abolish democracy and a desire for ethnic cleansing. At best one can make the argument that he is cynically pragmatic, unwilling to hold his own allies by the standards he upholds.

        I have no illusions where I stand, this is about figuring out where Pundit stands (answer: the side that is likely to get him a shitty column).

    • Ghost of Blooey permalink
      August 13, 2017 7:26 am

      I don’t particularly care for Nazis and the KKK but their gamers too I guess….

      My clothes need attention and then it’s shower and bed (I get clean for all of 5 minutes).

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 13, 2017 1:43 pm

        Bloodymage in hell, where hell is sometimes an Arizona Denny’s where you wait for eternity for your potential players from to show up.

        Or an old folks home where they drop the occasional younger but mentally fucked veteran. They serve bad meatloaf and have bad singalongs.


        Bloodymage in heaven, where you are a Dragonsfoot mod ruling with an iron fist.

        Or a home you share (very temporarily) with a dog groomer 10-15 years your senior.

        Or a packed convention hall where heavily armed and CIA trained security roam, a dragon mascot cavorts in the halls, and fat, mouth breathing con gorks hang in the hospitality suite and scarf scrumptious artisanal devilled eggs.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 13, 2017 5:16 pm

        Don’t forget his four hour meeting with the Mormons. Maybe he’s gone LDS style, and is now the god of his own planet, complete with celestial concubines and an eternity of gaming. Death to all PC’s sub-created beings.

  41. zakbot permalink
    August 15, 2017 6:34 am

    Whassup bros miss me? Couple things – first dont forget to sign up for my brownie point quest at Gencon, winner gets props from me personally. Second make sure to support me and Raggi at the Ennies. James is very worried that someones going to show up proudly wearing Antifa colors of something similar and you know we cant have that. He is my publisher and we have more moninations than any other company that counts so its extremely important that we all are on message. (thread)

    • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
      August 15, 2017 11:22 pm

      “Don’t make me pick a side, I’ll have no KVLT friends if I piss off the Nazis and no Zak if the vicious sod finds a reason to turn on me.”
      — James Edward Raggi IV, probably

  42. Timotheus permalink
    August 15, 2017 9:16 am

    Well, a shitstorm coming on the Reaper Bones 4 Kickstarter. One of their employees went on a Facebook rampage last night and this morning, trolling a bunch of people who dislike neo-nazis.

    Not exactly defending nazis, but flirting with it.

    Reaper is in a bad spot. On the Bones 4 comments, some people are threatening to withdraw their pledges unless the idiot is fired, others are upping their pledges in support of the company and or the individual (including his views), others are talking about gazebos (hence the old school link).

    An emergency board meeting is going on right now, and there will be an announcement shortly.

    Kinda scary how nazis, or more exactly, neo-nazis, are dividing everyone right now.

    • zakbot permalink
      August 15, 2017 11:42 am

      I could never work with anyone who equivicates between Antifa and nazis. Thats why you can see me at the LoTFP booth all week at Gencon. If Im not there ask James where to find me. But dont show up in Antifa colors because he doesnt want to show political favoritism when all sides are contributing to the violence. Also look for my good friend Patrick he is the beautiful poet with selfdescribed fascist haircut.

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 15, 2017 1:07 pm

        Thanks, Zakbot. I just checked out Faggi’s G+ post on Charlottesville. When he starts out with “I have no idea what happened” but produces a mailed-in self-righteous screed, he gets 200 posts of the same with plenty of name calling and cherry picking. That thread is equal opportunity stupidity, with maybe Tarnowski having the edge.

        Tarno said the Reaper employee got fired, but I haven’t found confirmation (even on that dude’s facebook page). All I have seen are bunch of alt-righters telling eachother that in tweets, but no actual cites.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 15, 2017 2:41 pm

        Raggs: I’ll serve you either way because I recognize your right to express yourself politically, but I reserve the right to think you’re the dumbest shit.

        Translation: I need the money.

        Spice/Flow, same as it ever was…

      • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
        August 15, 2017 11:27 pm

        Mr. Fist for the Prosecution is correct, but it’s amusing to build the house of cards a little higher. Raggs’ metal-scenester ways predispose him to hanging with neo-Nazis after all, and you’ll notice, gentlemen and Kent, that it’s antifa he specifically doesn’t want to see or be seen with. Wonder why?

      • zakbot permalink
        August 16, 2017 6:46 am

        3 Zak Browning Points if you take a picture of yourself wearing Antifa colors with James and post it to social media where our other friends can see it

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 16, 2017 9:47 am

        The Antifa vs Nazi’s debate. Had to happen sometime. Can’t we just hate equally? Commies vs Fascists is not a good fight to be in.

      • August 16, 2017 12:05 pm

        I recall Finland trying that both ways.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 16, 2017 6:43 am

      I always new the Culture Wars would ultimately be decided on the Elf Games front.

      Also, the world without Blooey is a dark, cruel place devoid of any hope for humanity. You know I am right too. 😦

  43. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    August 15, 2017 2:30 pm

    So, I’m writing a piece on comparative biomechanics and I come across this possible D&D reference

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 16, 2017 8:29 am

      I have never trusted 3rd level Chaotic Neutral Incisors. Virtually indistinguishable from Flame Princess dildos.

  44. Timotheus permalink
    August 16, 2017 8:37 am

    So will there be a Melee at Gencon between the antifa crew, and the fat dude selling SS t-shirts and Ilsa She-Wolf videos? And/or between the Blue-haired Non-Binary Battalion, and the Booth Babes?

    Will Wundergeek be there peddling her Men Are The Evil Darkness game? Did you get your copy yet, Bigs?

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 16, 2017 10:50 am

      I forgot about that. It’s 3E-is, n’est ce pas? I don’t play anything written after 1983 or so (played OWoD once, back in the 90s, tried to role play but we had a lot of MOAR GUNZ/SPLODEY SPLOSIONS players in the group, so the session ended with much of the Castle Hill neighborhood of the Bronx burning down… now, that’s some versimilitude ). Mostly, I stuck to 1E, TFT, and a bit of GW and classic Traveller. Lately, it’s been house ruled 1E, one shots.

      If I had the vacation time, I’d fly to Europe, rent a white van, and Perilous Dreamer Von and Prince and force them to play Blue Rose.

      • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
        August 16, 2017 1:05 pm

        Wait, did you just use ‘Perilous Dreamer’ as a verb?

        Also, d20 Blue Rose or new Blue Rose from the people who brought you WFRP.2?

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 16, 2017 2:09 pm

        Yeah… Perilous Dreamer (v.): to whisk away an individual in a plain white van.

        If I recall correctly, FotU was the one who came up with the white van trope.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 16, 2017 2:13 pm

        I’m not even familiar with Blue Rose, I just know it’s a bette noir bleu for Von.

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 16, 2017 3:33 pm

        Ha! I knew you weren’t gonna play it. Just curious if you backed the KS like you teased. I think it uses some story game mechanics like apocalypse world? Not interested enough to google the KS again.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 16, 2017 7:00 pm

        I confess I kinda forgot about it. I’ve only backed one kickstarter in my life, one run by a couple of dear friends with a proven track record who needed some stopgap funding until a couple of grants came through.

      • Fake Woke White Wolf permalink
        August 16, 2017 11:00 pm

        Bête noire, surely?

        No need to speak of Von in the third person. He is not dead, though he can eternal lie (the alarm clock isn’t very loud, see). Some say he walks among you to this day, but has taken a new name and form and will retain them until the Age of Sabbath is passed and we all come unto Gehenna.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      August 16, 2017 1:03 pm

      I see no reason Frog Gode would not also have to suffer through that ordeal. In all seriousness though, let me know if you are ever in Amsterdam (It’s Toronto for me this year).

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 16, 2017 1:19 pm

        What else are y’all playing?

        For me it’s a steady diet of of Stars without Numbers coupled with an extended stiched together-campaign of Lotfp adventures. I have’t gotten to play any of the really rapy or shitty ones but I can vouch for the Grinding Gear not being fun and the Tower of the Stargazer/Tales of the Scarecrow being very fun. Crystal headed children is good if you have anyone with a mild gambling addiction. I also played a shitload of Carblowsa and kind of liked it, making me wish it was written better.

        In all honesty, the more I play Lotfp the shittier I start to find the ruleset. The modern armour rules are sloppy, the domain management rules make no sense and are kind of pointless and shit and I had to use fucking RaPLand ‘s mounted combat rules to make any headway. Raggs has the occasional glimmer of a good idea but he is undisciplined (like most fat people are) and lazy (see point 1) and it reflects in his writing.

      • August 16, 2017 1:44 pm

        I always felt LotFP was sloppy from the get go. I honestly don’t understand why it even has whatever popularity it does: it just feels like a barely-houseruled bog standard D&D clone, which makes me think why not just play actual D&D?

        I’ve been looking through various hacks and clones while working on my own thing, kinda surprised (but maybe I shouldn’t have been) that most of them are more or less direct D&D ports, just sometimes with ascending AC and attack bonus-instead-of-THAC0.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 16, 2017 2:11 pm

        When will you be in Toronto? I’m in NYC, it’s not that far. October is hell month at work, can’t take off at all then.

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 16, 2017 3:40 pm

        Last campaign was modified TFT. But now I’m in a band and we practice twice a week, so I haven’t gamed in three or four months.

        Of course, being in the band is kinda like role playing, but with 11 times as much beer.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 17, 2017 10:15 am

        I’m visiting the missus from the 8th of september to the 16th-17th I think. A 7 hour flight and they always put me between two fatguys.

  45. John Tarnowski, Sex Magickian permalink
    August 16, 2017 11:17 am

    THIS guy needs a memorial statue, bitches!

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 16, 2017 1:21 pm

      How about a statue of Aleister Crowley burning a Montevideo phone book?

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 16, 2017 3:51 pm

      Well, Breivik has already been Sainted by Vox Gay in a Meme. And when a Norwegian dude asked him if he was serious, he doubled down and called him the West’s “first hero.”

      Followed my much nazi cock-sucking in the comments. Including by Colostomy House author and decorated SS apologist Tom Kratman (he wrote the science fiction book where old SS tankers were rejuvenated because they were the only ones who could stop an alien invasion of the earth while simultaneously killing hippies).

    • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
      August 16, 2017 7:53 pm

      The rather fashionable neckbeard he sported during the trial deserves to be memorialized in bronze anyway. Much nattier than some I’ve seen at the cons.

    • Frog Gode permalink
      August 17, 2017 1:57 am

      I’m usually happy to let anyone come and pee on leftists next to me, but when the guy sports a svastika it kinda dries me up. Maybe some vague reminiscence : burning villages on the horizon, hanging corpses in the streets of my hometown, you know, gay historical stuff. This sort of malaise is probably why I spent my nights translating TSR modules, pretending it’s 1987 and that someone cares.

      Also, if you’re gonna mix D&D with something, make sure it’s quality stuff like Fighting Fantasy, WFRP or Stormbringer and not some watered-down europiss. Or do what I do and just use Crypts and Things for all your gay S&S tentacle porn needs.

  46. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 16, 2017 3:52 pm

    Stars W/out Numbers? How many space games are out there in modern times? I really only know classic Traveller. But don’t really get to play it. I have some old KOTDT comics with ads for a sort of stylized space game called “Fading Suns,” but don’t ever hear about it so I assume it was a bomb. What was the deal with that?

    What sets these games apart, besides rules?

    Oh, and I guess Jamals Thousand Suns, which sounds like a direct rip-off, in title at least, of Fading. All I know about that is this happy dude named “Burf” who liked ti peek out of toilets in the cadets boy’s restroom.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      August 17, 2017 11:26 am

      Stars without numbers is oldschool traveler with Xp, more streamlining and more sandbox. It’s pretty good and the core rules are free so you don’t have to steal anything.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 17, 2017 4:53 pm

        Ah. and looking up Fading Suns, it seems to be more like Dune.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        August 17, 2017 8:16 pm

        How do you get more sandbox than Traveller? It was sandbox by default, especially if you didn’t use the crappy default setting.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 18, 2017 9:50 am

        Fading Suns is like Dune and Wh40k had buttsecks.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 18, 2017 9:51 am

        @Sykirobme: While SWN has an implied setting, a decent part of the book is dedicated to tools that allow you to generate your own factions, planets, quests and so and so forth. It is kind of neat.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        August 22, 2017 10:17 pm

        Thanks, Prince. I’ll have to check that out.

  47. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    August 17, 2017 11:41 pm

    Surrealism level: Full Dalí

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 18, 2017 6:33 am

      The Trumpalo Revolution. Must See TV.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 18, 2017 7:59 am

      What about fucking magnets?

    • Frog Gode permalink
      August 18, 2017 8:38 am

      Aren’t we past peak juggalo yet? These days every other fatherless braindead moron looking for a “family” seems to be doing whiteface minstrel shows on the weekend (the other one is busy getting his tats touched up)

  48. Timotheus permalink
    August 18, 2017 8:50 am

    Breaking OSR news!

    Obviously everyone here supported the Android Concubine Queer kickstarter that Alex “I am now Milo Y”s Publisher and publicist” Macris ran earlier this year.

    One of the promised rewards was the “Zaharan sorcerer” and as you know, the alt-right always lies- er, I mean delivers. And now that exclusive ACKS class has been dropped on Vox Gay’s blog, so there is no chance that anyone in the blOwSR will miss it!

    Yes, if you want to consider yourself the mighty equal of Vox Gay, you need to meet the rigorous requirements of 9 in Int, Wis, AND Cha.

    Good luck, gaymers!

  49. Kent permalink
    August 18, 2017 3:52 pm

    The Human Scale – The TRUTH

    100 – 5th century bc Greeks – Elizabethan English – 10th-11th century Icelanders- ALL MALE

    28 – Walter Matthau – Human shaped puppets – Human like dogs

    27 – Dickenson – Austen – Wollstonecraft – Highest FEMALES

    04 – US Niggers (ie violent morons)
    03 – vomit
    02 – faeces – US low IQ highly educated black women
    01 – SJW – antifa – US low IQ highly educated white women (ie all white women)
    00 – Saudi Muslims

    • Kent permalink
      August 18, 2017 4:18 pm

      YDIS regulars, the unflushables, obviously are a combination of 02 faeces and the typical OSR gamer who is obviously a 01 SJW, vermin, extremely stupid.

    • Kent permalink
      August 18, 2017 4:19 pm

      My advice for humanity is to exterminate with extreme prejudice everything from 00 to 26.

      What a future !!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 18, 2017 4:52 pm

      Just get back from Charlottesville, kent?

      • Kent permalink
        August 18, 2017 5:26 pm

        SJW diversity equal outcome whore?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 18, 2017 5:47 pm

        Kent is back like a big old turd you just can’t flush!

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 18, 2017 6:21 pm

        Kent must have made a lot of money blowing the Cartoon Frog Nazi Brigade last weekend.

    • Vulgar and Demented Irishman permalink
      August 18, 2017 11:28 pm

      You are surplus to requirements now. Shove another red pill or fifty up yer arsehole, stick yer face in the shitter and flush all that Shite away.

  50. Kent's Rectum Now With Sixty Percent More Nazi Semen permalink
    August 18, 2017 6:28 pm

    Sieg Heinie!

  51. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 18, 2017 7:49 pm

    I’m crowdsourcing material for my first d100 table: 100 Things to FInd in Blooey’s Utilikilt!

    I’ll get it started, please play along

    01: 1d8 pairs of clean emergency underwear
    02: 1d6 pairs of dirty underwear (roll 1d4, 1-2: in a ziplock, 3-4: freeballin’ it!)
    03: Baby wipes
    04: Prescott Arizona Chamber of Commerce welcome brochure
    05: Loaded pistol
    06: cocktail napkin with admin password
    07: Dog walker’s business card
    08: IHOP frequent diner card with only two punches left for a free sit down breakfast
    09: uncashed check from RPGPundit for $2000 for job at Polyhedron Games
    10: cd-rom labeled “Fresh Install”

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 18, 2017 8:43 pm

      11: Various city maps with church parking lots highlighted in green
      12: Same, with parks where girls’s softball teams play highlighted in pink
      13: GI Joe Action binoculars (see 12)
      14: Die, Orc, Die thong
      15: Stained copy of the Stink in Gondala

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 18, 2017 9:01 pm

        Damn, wish I could edit. Put “2d4” in front of 11, 14, and 15.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 18, 2017 9:19 pm

      16. 50-200 ball bearings to facilitate dine-and-dash
      17. Polyedracon d4-3 Security Badge
      18. 1d6 Mormon Tracts
      19. First draft Zach Glazer eulogy
      20. 3.5 ounce bottle Aqua Velva, roll 1d8 1-5 for cleaning, 6-7 for drinking, 8 for both

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 18, 2017 9:21 pm

      How can we forget?

      21. 1d12 Poly-eggs

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 19, 2017 7:41 am

        I think you just guaranteed our ENNIE award win next year, old chum! 😀

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 19, 2017 5:22 am

      22: $10,000 worth of publishing and RPG software
      23: Map of Beldany on a shower curtain
      24: checkered tablecloth, 1″ squares

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 19, 2017 5:24 am

        reset those rolls to 25, 26, 27

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 19, 2017 7:40 am

      28: List of scripture readings for Polycon prayer breakfast (roll 1d8, 1-4: Old Testament, 5-6: New Testament, 7: Book of Mormon, 8: Necronomicon)
      29: List of Western Union wired money pick up sites in every RPG convention host location in the 48 continental states.
      30: Train in a Cup

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 19, 2017 9:39 am

        Train in a Cup was my one Blooey purchase. I’ve modified the rules somewhat to make a more entertaining game- Train on S.E. Cupp.

  52. Frog Gode permalink
    August 18, 2017 11:15 pm

    22. Russian-English pocket dictionary, chatbot edition
    23. 1d4 Bic© tracheotomy pen
    24. 1 copy of “The 10 Commandments of Good Gamemastering” ; 1st commandment : “Half the battle is just showing up” ; 2nd commandment : “The other half is showing up on the right day”

  53. Vulgar and Demented Irishman permalink
    August 20, 2017 12:23 am

    That Kent lad, he’s rubbish. Get him out of here. He used to think for himself, the big shmuck, now there’s nothing in his head the YouTubers didn’t put there. Another fuckin casualty of the culture wars gone soft on poteen and believin what he reads.

    • Vulgar and Demented Irishman permalink
      August 20, 2017 12:25 am

      He’s like the fuckin Irish Sargon is what he is. Pikey Sargon reelin about with his whiskey bottle out, half-arsin a pretence to a classical education.

  54. Frog Gode permalink
    August 20, 2017 9:31 am

    Next round of Hagen•Daz is on me : the Primogen has (literally) reclaimed his chair.

  55. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 22, 2017 9:42 pm

    31: Baggie marked “convention supplies/treasure!” filled with assorted plastic cutlery, salt, pepper, ketchup packs, and straws filched from AM stores.
    32: Poly Egg recipe scrawled on McDonalds napkin. Stained by tears.
    33: 7-11 Big Gulp cup filled with brackish hotel lobby drinking fountain water. Several unidentified “floaties” bobbing around in it.
    34: Steve the Dragonsfoot head mod’s cell number (long since changed).
    35: editor at Kenzerco’s cell number (long since changed).
    36: Blooeyson’s cell number (which is actually the number to a local Chinese restaurant that has long since closed).

  56. Kent permalink
    August 23, 2017 8:52 pm

    I am so glad that Zak and Patrick are easing into fame at the same time that you lot have become so irrelevant that ydis herself isn’t even paying attention to your posts.

  57. Kent permalink
    August 23, 2017 8:54 pm

    Having just read Zak’s and Patrick’s gencon blog posts I am so glad that Zak and Patrick are easing into fame at the same time that you lot have become so irrelevant that ydis herself isn’t even paying attention to your posts.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 24, 2017 1:01 am

      That’s our Kent, he’ll never pass up an opportunity to suck Zak’s cock.

    • SparkleMotion permalink
      August 24, 2017 8:29 am

      I was at the Ennies and Zak was his typical obnoxious self. When reading off the award for one guy that couldn’t be there he did a decent job at it. He’s a really short fella though from what I could tell. Patrick was a pleasure to talk to and didn’t rub me the wrong way. Raggi looks just like Hagrid I shit you not.

      All in all. Zak was a non-factor, Cthulu and 7th sea won nearly everything, and Vein’s of the Earth is a damn good book.

      • Frog Gode permalink
        August 24, 2017 8:42 am

        Wonder if Mearls got a taste of that sweet-ish blond trailerpark hooker the half-haired had brought with him. Too bad Zak’s quality had terrorized Mandy back to Canada : she would have shown all those Gygax-grave-diggers what fucking a corpse actually feels like.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 24, 2017 2:53 pm

        Hey sparkle, could you give more info on those award winners? Is Cthulhu a new Call of…edition?

      • August 24, 2017 2:57 pm

        They’re still doing the Ennies?

  58. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    August 24, 2017 1:09 am

    I present StuPat, the good writer guy what’s known for writing good…

    The monument itself has these massive, I think they are called bass-reliefs?

    It’s no wonder that Durr Hurr is impressed by the guy, he probably thinks Stu is a 17th level author.

    • August 24, 2017 3:00 pm

      Concrete evidence that it’s not about what you do, or how good you do it (or whether you can do it good at all I suppose), but who you know. Or at least who you praise. Or pretend to like.

      Seriously people care about the Ennies?

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 24, 2017 7:21 pm

      “The cleaning staff in the posh rooms of the JW Marriott leave your toiletries in parallel lines, and they won’t stop leaving new soap, even though you haven’t used the old soap, so theoretically, over time, the suite could just fill up with soap.”

      Lotsa gems from his mentally-challenged viewpoint – and you have to wonder if he even half understands Zak’s pygmallion-like level of mockery of him – but this might encapsulate his writing. Is he stupid or does he, theoretically, think everyone else is?

  59. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 24, 2017 3:11 pm

    I wonder how much money they paid Charlotte Stokely to be there. Think she doled out any of those illegal blowjobs?

    I see pictures of Zak getting Misty over a few hundred dollar bills in hand. Another faked fucking thing from Hukster Zak. If that was money from folk who bought Raggi crap, it would be 20’s (and checks). C’mon Zak.

    No way they made enough money for Zak and that whore’s trip, much less Raggi’s

    Skinny Zak and fat Raggi standing next to each other looks like a skanky number 10.

  60. Timotheus permalink
    August 24, 2017 7:11 pm

    Wow, a bunch of Kansas City faggots. No wonder kent c’est jalous.

    Hopefully, a lot of people asked Zakie where Mandy was. And where was Connie? Has she given him the finger, too? Found some other slackster with a bigger trust fund?

    Charlotte is pretty, but that shot of Zakina’s splooge all over her ravaged butt is one her kids will treasure, and the threshold where she enters 10-foot pole territory..

    I wonder if the Attack is even marginally aware of the people who were trying to sleep on the floors next to him, or even the people at the ennies (yeah,fuck ’em but still) that his and Faggi’s skank-ass crew insulted with their junior-high pep-rally profanity.

    Obvious Troll is obvious.

    And that cock-sucking coward will still troll everywhere but here.

    And Patrick? Veins was OK but not award-level. He is smart enough to realize he is riding coattails, so that must really kill him.

    Faggi-Attack forms the quintessential Axis of Suck.

  61. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 24, 2017 9:32 pm

    This Zak con shit needs a full, in depth report here. I mean, I just looked at his blog more than I ever did in ten years (Zak the Kak wins I guess). Hilarious in it’s cheese. He planned a big party, but can only take like two steps in any direction of his piece of shit off site low rent hotel room (the new whore must be so impressed).

    Ironically, Kak and FatRags are probably acting like the jocks that flicked cigarettes at them and called them homos back in school. Living off better times last year. Storming the podium and acting like big man on campus. In a sea of gamer creeps young and old (and fat. And weird.).

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
      August 25, 2017 2:48 pm

      Wow, never wrong to use a wad of one dollar bills wrapped in a hunny to make yourself feel important. Maybe Zpastic will forget that trick when the Alzheimer’s sets in and he looks back at his accomplishments. Poor Zpastic, as relevant to RPG’s as a case of Wasteland Herpes. By the way, anyone at Zpastic’s part , get yourself checked, might not be Derp Herp but likely you picked up some crabs off the toilet seat.

      • August 25, 2017 11:50 pm

        Oh good I’m not the only person who thought, “Who the fuck goes to a convention and pays in hundred dollar bills”. The real question is how much, if any, of that money is from customers?

        As to whether Zak is stupid or thinks everyone else is, can’t it be both?

  62. PrinceBait @wundergeek permalink
    August 25, 2017 4:42 am

    Yes, because at work on the Monday following GenCon is EXACTLY when I needed to have period cramps. #condrop #wtf #fuckyouuterus

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      August 27, 2017 4:17 am


    • Bloodymage permalink
      August 27, 2017 9:14 am

      Meatloaf. Again!
      Sigh 😦

  63. Kent permalink
    August 25, 2017 6:12 pm

    I have given this some thought and the primary reason for Zak Smith And Patrick Stuart’s influence in the OD&D world is gorgeousness of physiognomy. Both men are beautiful lookers with mediocre verbal skills. Gamers want to kiss their handsome faces and give them big hugs before they have boiled up courage enough to criticise their words, the word usage of these sharps is twelve year old girlish.

  64. Kent permalink
    August 25, 2017 7:03 pm

    I have an idea for a cop style Columbo TV show. I will write, produce, direct and star in this show

    Here is the formula:

    A regular guy kills his wife because she is a stupid weak nagging cunt like all women. This is the format for every episode which I expect to run weekly for 350 years.

    The Columbo guy who is a mixture of Columbo-Sherlock Holmes-Kent is extremely sympathetic to the murder of women who are stupid weak nagging cunts especially wives who listen to the radio and think morality is something to learned from extreme-left-wing-journos on the bbc and like niggers think that logic is a white conspiracy.

    My cop show would have the detective hero, lets call him Plato, killing wives he comes across just because he thinks they are scum whether they are involved in the murder case or not.

    The second season has Plato murdering muslim scum like the Pakistani child rapists in the north of England but if the budget is big enough the UK invades Saudi Arabia, exterminating those muslim scum and all the normal people in the world cheer and breath a sigh of relief. No more evil in the world.

  65. Kent permalink
    August 25, 2017 7:46 pm

    Im watching Game of Thrones 7.

    Never in history have men paid any attention to women who are the physical and moral equivalents of 12 year old boys. Its pretty disgusting to see George Martin succumb to the hollywood $ pc insanity that elevates women to the the status of men when we all know this is a pretence.

    • Kent permalink
      August 25, 2017 8:32 pm

      Why would any man respect a woman if he is not fucking her? There is no reason. There is nothing to respect.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 26, 2017 10:51 am

        The bitter and hilariously failed life of Kent on full display.

        It’s Saturday night, Kunt. Another chance to end the pain and loss. Wrists, in the tub. Painless.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 26, 2017 4:26 pm

        Kent is a one-person /incel/ subreddit. Black-pilled Barry, saddest turd on the internet.

  66. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    August 25, 2017 9:05 pm

    You’re ‘sperging’ again, Paul.

  67. Kent permalink
    August 26, 2017 11:51 am

    Don’t remember that shite. Got my drunk on 24 hours too early.

    Now, right now, is the right time for a cheap scotch on the rocks build up to the fight.

    Mcgregor is a little fucking knacker, but he is my knacker. Floyd is classy but he looks nervous to me. Whatever people are saying these two are dragging boxing out of the gutter.

    Filthy mouth + Talent = $$$

    If only ydis had talent.

  68. Kent permalink
    August 26, 2017 12:50 pm

    Here is a random table from Zak Smith’s blog.

    Most gamers love random tables for some reason.


    1 Pictures will not hang straight in the same room as the doll
    2 It begins to rain whenever the doll is taken outside
    3 Animals attack the doll instinctively
    4 Each observer is sure the doll has a different expression
    5 Water becomes saltwater in its presence
    6 Some sharp detail of the wood or plastic regularly pricks anyone who touches the doll
    7 Doll falls over whenever propped in a sitting or standing position
    8 Observers lose all appetite
    9 Babies cry in doll’s presence
    10 Flies attracted to doll as if it were fruit


    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      August 26, 2017 3:18 pm

      I’d tell you to get a life, you sad, boring, unfunny waste of spunk. But what’s the point? Well past the point of no return.

  69. Kent permalink
    August 26, 2017 3:18 pm

    Well Im off to watch the fight.

    As always its really impressive getting your insight into things.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 26, 2017 8:54 pm

      Heh, indeed

      Even though it is a stupid mismatch with no athletic significance whatsoever, its record-setting success is inevitable and unsurprising. Not only do Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Conor McGregor boast two of the largest, loudest and least educated fan bases in the world, but it’s a freak show.

      It’s funny because it’s true.

    • Some Plantation Owner's Kent permalink
      August 27, 2017 7:58 am

      Well, now we have official confirmation the Irish are inferior to the Negro. Fun Fact: In America, the Irish were called and considered n!gg3rs too!
      Kent, if you behave yourself maybe YDIS wlll make you a house nig instead of a field nig! He may even call you Ole Black Columbo.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 27, 2017 12:10 pm

        That ole Black Columbo, he ain’t got cotton.

        But he does have a guest starring role for Nipsy Russell as a jealous husband who’s wife has drowned in the pool!

        “Excuse me, but, eh, could I use your bathroom, sir? I ‘ve always wondered what nigger bathrooms look like. I’m guessing it’s just a bucket and some leaves in the broom closet…”

  70. Kent permalink
    August 28, 2017 8:42 pm




    Truth is women are physically pathetic, scientifically proven at the level of 14 year old boys. That’s who olympic women’s teams train against.

    Truth is women are mentally limited, look at what they have achieved at the highest level. Nothing.

    I don’t respect any women intellectually in the history of Thought. If you do you are a virtue signaling fag, and god love you, nobody else does except women and queers and ydis regulars.

    Truth is guys who don’t notice that Game of Thrones is a GENDER FANTASY FOR DOLLARS are fucking morons, but you knew that already.

    I don’t care that 100% of online osr gamers appear to be lefty-faggoty-gender-warrior-morons because in real life people laugh at you but it would be nice to see someone with pretend guts enough to laugh at the osr-ydis fags.

    • Marie Curie permalink
      August 29, 2017 12:39 am

      Shut your Kenthole, Kenthole!

      • Rear Admiral Grace M. Hopper, PhD permalink
        August 29, 2017 12:44 am

        Sick burn, sister… a radiation burn.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 30, 2017 8:53 pm

      This has got to be the Kentiest comment of them all, with this being my favorite part:

      I don’t respect any women intellectually in the history of Thought. If you do you are a virtue signaling fag, and god love you, nobody else does except women and queers and ydis regulars.

      Only Kent would write ‘women love you’ as a pejorative. There is now no doubt, as if there ever were, that Kent cannot claim the mantle of heterosexuality. Some enterprising psychology grad student has a thesis awaiting upon figuring out exactly what sort of paraphilia Durr Hurr is saddled with.

  71. Kent permalink
    August 28, 2017 9:03 pm

    Captain Kirks Dick Blood
    Bigby’s Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist

    Very stupid psychopathic HUMAN RAPIST TOADS who have NEVER said anything worth reading [prove me wrong]. I Despise ZAKS S and Patrick Stuart but at least they express CONTENT even if it is worthless. These two YDIS MORONS have NOTHING, show me CONTENT, and that’s why I have dubbed them the SHITS THAT WONT FLUSH. Look above for fun and laughs about these particularly stupid cunts the SHITS THAT WONT FLUSH.

    ha ha !! Its just fun for me !!

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 29, 2017 12:48 am

      KENT SPERG-OUT LEVEL: – 6/10

      No need to get out his helmet yet, Moms Barry.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 29, 2017 7:37 am

      Here’s the thing, kent…some of us HAVE produced content. You just don’t know it because we never compromised our secret ID’s like a certain drunken Irishman has, despite his array of less-than-clever sock puppets.

      • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
        August 29, 2017 5:28 pm

        Time to kickstart a YDIS compilation. I smell an Ennie!

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        August 29, 2017 6:51 pm

        I’d publish it but people stole my company and it’s really hard to operate a print press with ghostly hands. That ectoplasm gets everywhere and smears the print.

      • August 30, 2017 8:25 pm

        Secret identities? The truth is… I am Gene Weigel


        Fakehawk fans rolling their eyes at computer screens of Gene’s forum posts where he is saying they’re ultimately Gygax fans for the one millionth time.

        Gene cutting and pasting a photo of self as best man at Gary Gygax’s wedding .. .

        Gene getting into hotel bed stepping over Rob Kuntz laying on the floor..

        Gene looking at watch as Dave Arneson rambles on and on and on..

        Gene erasing Mike Beault’s name from old TSR books and pencilling in “My Bitch”….


        Arrives home someone sitting in the dark. Its Will Smith who gets up and says “I’m Gary Gygax, Mr Weigel did you think you were the only grogtard in the world? I’m here to talk to you about the Oldsters Still Retarded initiative….


      • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
        August 30, 2017 8:51 pm

        Waiting around for Blooey to arrive to run a game but he no-showed because he was stuck at the Milwaukee airport (or some shit) and it happened so many times that con staff implemented an official policy of “Stand-by GMs” in his honor?

        I WAS THERE !!!

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        August 30, 2017 8:55 pm

        Flails or GTFO, Gene.

      • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
        August 30, 2017 9:57 pm

        Blooey, however, was not.

      • Ghost of Blooey permalink
        September 4, 2017 8:47 am

        They always let me use a room to shower in. I can’t stay clean all of five minutes. Eat, pee, crap, clean, rinse, repeat.

  72. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 31, 2017 11:55 am

    Well, there was that one con Bloomeister was three weeks early for (after like a 2000 mile drive). That should be worth some props from the con staff, showing up on the Wed before the event to do pre-con setup and the registration desk guy saying “um, could you guys talk to that weird, squinty eyed dude over in the hotel café? He’s been in there for three days drinking water and stealing sugar packs, muttering something about being chased out of a church lot”

    Serious question. Who is the best choice for a Bloodymage film? Coen Bros or Farrelly Bros? I’m torn on if it should be a surrealistic character study, or a goofball comedy.

    Or maybe the Rushmore Wes dude? The Blooey story is a lot like the Max Fischer story; if Max was a demented brain tumor guy.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 31, 2017 2:28 pm

      I wear my allegiances on my sleeve, so nobody should be surprised that I’d nominate Werner Herzog. Who else could capture that combination of beauty and madness that is the Life of Bloo?

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      August 31, 2017 2:31 pm

      On second thought, maybe Michael Bay would be a good choice. He could film Blooey’s dine-and-dash escapades as action sequences… Picture a steely-eyed Bloo calmly walking away from an exploding diner, secure in the knowledge that he saved his $4.95 for a short stack and a sausage patty.

    • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
      August 31, 2017 8:43 pm

      Dominique Pinon in the starring role.

    • Frog Gode permalink
      September 1, 2017 4:55 am

      Wasn’t Bloo the Bodhi of the OSR, the heat-packin’ loose cannon veteran of the Golandan Wars (Bloo Steel !), the leaking nuclear submarine of our fever dreams? Only Kathryn Bigelow has the right combination of boobs and balls to paint the tortured landscape that was Bloo’s psyche.

    • Ghost of Blooey permalink
      September 1, 2017 4:23 pm

      I’m mighty partial to Ron Howard directing myself. :rolls eyes:

      And this damn Yahoo toolbar is back again! 😡

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 4, 2017 12:16 pm

        I think Ron Howard can actually help you with that persistent Yahoo toolbar.

  73. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 1, 2017 11:13 am

    We might want to reserve Herzog for the Kent story.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      September 1, 2017 8:08 pm

      Nah, Kent’s story could only be captured properly by Uwe Boll. Well, since Ed Wood is long-dead… there’s a Kent or Kentda joke in here somewhere.

  74. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 1, 2017 11:23 am

    We also might want to do a trilogy of unrelated numbnuts of gaming. Like The Three Flavors Cornetto trilogy but diff directors. Wes Anderson for Blooey, Herzog for Kunt, and maybe Clive Barker for Zak Smith. It’ll be “The Spud, Dud, and Crud Trilogy”

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 2, 2017 5:37 am

      I’m working on an unauthorized biography of Kent (Backspray Barry) called FOUR IN THE STINK.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        September 2, 2017 3:56 pm

        Four I-beams…

  75. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    September 2, 2017 3:43 pm

    Working on my blOwSR review template for the Alt-Right Neo Nazi RPG haven known as the RPGSite. Am I missing anything?

    “This product sucks sweaty balls. Was it written by Jews, Negroes or Rune Magickians?”

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      September 2, 2017 5:13 pm

      “This product conforms to the Cultural Marxist tenets of the Globalist Jew, and will lead impressionable youths into the death cult of Third-Wave Feminism, thus advancing the plot of White Genocide. Three out of Ten Pepes (would not bang).”

      Currently Smoking: The Arkema Organic Peroxides Plant in Crosby, Texas. Another victory for Libertarianism! WOLVERINES!!!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 2, 2017 10:55 pm

        In homage to Arrows of Indra, I fully intend to plagiarize this.

  76. Kent permalink
    September 4, 2017 3:55 pm

    I have been thinking this might be a good place for me to find DUNGEONS & DRAGONS friends because I am banned from the DUNGEONS & DRAGONS forums, blogs and google+ for being too cruel, too intelligent and too honest.

    So then, who wants to be my PAL? Would you have fun shooting the shit with an unprofessional midweek bottle or two of scotch, being brilliant, and mocking ordinary people.

    • Kent permalink
      September 4, 2017 3:58 pm

      No one who posts here would qualify for being my online friend, so I am looking for NEW people friends.

    • Kent permalink
      September 4, 2017 5:10 pm

      Or homos. Most homo D&Ders are YDIS regulars. I am looking for ordinary men non-YDIS D&Ders to be my best PALS.

    • Kent permalink
      September 4, 2017 5:43 pm

      If you are my PAL you will acknowledge that only Gygax and Jaquays produced anything of worth. Are you still my PAL?

    • Ghost of Blooey permalink
      September 9, 2017 2:01 pm

      Well, I don’t particularly care for the Irish but I’ve got product to sell so I’ll be your D&D friend Kent. I won’t be your PAL because in my Navy days a PAL was a Personal Ass Licker and I’m not one for the homosexual lifestyle but you guys are gamers too I guess.
      Now that we are friends can you wire me $1,000 to the nearest Western Union in Lake Geneva? I’m here a few weeks (maybe months) early for GaryCon and I’d really like to have a sit down breakfast and I’m out of leftover meatloaf from the home. Thanks PAL!

  77. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 5, 2017 7:48 pm

    Kunt, despite your love of dead fat beardo’s who take credit for others work, or closet fags who decide in their 50’s they need to be a woman (imagine hurting your family just for a decade or two of being a monster), I am most certainly your friend here.

    I’m the only one who honestly wants your pain to end.

    It recently struck me that you probably have only a kitchenette so no stove to suffocate your head in. And no bathtub for wrist slitting. Shit, the dump you live in probably has a shared shower down the hall.

    May I recommend hurling yourself off a freeway overpass into oncoming truck traffic? Think about it. You can down a bottle, get up to the pass, shed a few bitter tears over your failed an miserable joke of a life (I’m going to guess you are one of those heaving sobers), and dive out into open air. You’ll turn almost instantly into red jelly, and it’d be entertaining to the kids in the car behind the truck.

    You can go out with a squish, and for a change make somebody smile!

    • Kent permalink
      September 5, 2017 8:41 pm

      Are you still holding a grudge because I told you to kill yourself first ?

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        September 6, 2017 12:22 am

        Naw. You’re a sad cunt of a loser (and I don’t call you cunt cause you used to call everybody here that. I do it cause you are a pathetic cunt). But I don’t like seeing things in bitter, lonely pain. I want your pain to end, Kunt.
        Can you get hold of a gun? Easy way to go.

        “one in the mouth and your soul heads south.”

  78. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    September 6, 2017 10:51 am

    That money grubbing piece of shit Tenkar has an affiliate link to the Harvey Hurricane Relief bundle at RPGNow up on the Turdshack. I hope he dies a slow and painful death from cancer! Fucking asshole human garbage!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 6, 2017 11:59 am

      Happy to report Sean Patrick Fanny is capitalizing on the tragedy of others with an affiliate link too! Gotta skim a little off the top of the charitable contributions because the spice must flow!

    • September 8, 2017 6:59 pm

      Hey now Erik NEEDS that sweet, SWEET affiliate moolah so he can…keep sitting on his ass pimping and praising other peoples’ shit?

  79. Sykirobme permalink
    September 6, 2017 11:50 am

    I wonder if this involved any of our favorite people…probably not, but it’s funny to speculate:

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 6, 2017 12:01 pm

      Not too much detail in there for that poor sap to figure it out no sirree bub!

      • Timotheus permalink
        September 6, 2017 10:08 pm

        Deleted before I could see it. But, from the comments, I am guessing either Spacerunny Day or Dellaporno.

  80. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    September 6, 2017 6:28 pm

    Sheesh, when did this place become the ‘Men Seeking Men’ Personals section of Kentslist?

    This is the funniest part, the bit which convinces nobody, not even Kent hirself:

    No one who posts here would qualify for being my online friend, so I am looking for NEW people friends. Or homos. Most homo D&Ders are YDIS regulars. I am looking for ordinary men non-YDIS D&Ders to be my best PALS.

    This is straight out of just about every ‘JO buddy’ ad ever to go viral.

    If you have to specify ‘no gays’, then bro, you are gay… it’s axiomatic.

    • Timotheus permalink
      September 6, 2017 10:25 pm

      Hah! I bet kent tries to lure his “non-gay” friends with the all-you-can-eat imitation crabmeat lure. Irish delicacy.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        September 6, 2017 11:39 pm

        I bet he tried to pay his landlady with imitation crabmeat because he was too broke to pay by check.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        September 7, 2017 1:01 pm

        Imitation crabmeat in Ireland is basically especially lumpy oatmeal.

  81. Ghost of Blooey permalink
    September 9, 2017 2:12 pm

    Now that I’m dead and forever stuck in Purgatory forced to travel the ghostly lanes from city to city and town to town on the RPG convention circuit only to show up too early or too late for the rest of eternity, it has come to my attention that my products have now all entered the pubic domain.
    As a lasting tribute to the gamer glory I never saw in life, I would like to invite all of the great OSR creative types to RETHINK THE STINK and design a reboot of THE STINK IN GOLANDA from their unique perspective and take. If James Raggi/LotFP, Zak S, StuPat & Scrap Princess, James M., James Spahn, Stars Without Number Guy, Poag, and ideally Rob Kuntz would take up the mantle and do their own interpretation of THE STINK IN GOLANDA that would be the greatest thing to ever happen in my life (now death).

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      September 10, 2017 12:29 pm

      I’m more interested in the idea of a spectral Blooey haunting the freeways of America, riding in his ghostly, smoking and sputtering old pickup. He’d be spotted in church parking lots and lurking at AM PM condiments counters. His hazy form would materialize outside Garycon restrooms, muttering about “death to all PC’s” and “buy some product,” before vanishing again, with a final whisper “meeeeeaaatllloooooaaaaffff nnnniiiiiggghhhhhttttttt…”

      Was Bloo living in Texas at the end? I wish he was still around to drop some folksy wisdom on the catastrophes there. Probably simply along the lines of “I manage to stay dry for all of ten minutes. Sigh!”

  82. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 11, 2017 10:02 am

    Frank M. shits where he wants to eat:

    Once upon a time

    (in a little village in the realm of Empyrea on the continent of Aquaria, on the eastern shore of the great sea called the Solnor, in the constellation of the Whale on planet #4 of the star some call “Tau”, about 5 millennia after the birth of a famous Terran religious figure and a few centuries after the Interregnum)

    …the mayor of Dragonsfoot village held a referendum. The people then decided that Freedom and Truth were more important that Unity or Friendship. Thus they began a great experiment with profound philosophical implications. As long as they didn’t attack one another, they could say anything, to anyone.

    Over a decade, the people of Dragonsfoot were conquered by the dominant among them, some of them half-Trolls. These half-breeds were almost identical to the good, faithful local folk. But they placed Freedom above all else, at the cost of Community. (Trolls are always suspicious and hostile, and are really quite easy to spot.) And so Truth reigned, and hospitality and respect nearly vanished.

    One day, a minor Prince came to visit the village. He didn’t bring his Aides or his Guards; he came himself, wanting to truly meet and learn of the people. The Prince thought they would be like normal citizens of the realm — cautious but welcoming, self-interested but offering friendship. Instead, the Trolls pressed him with personal questions, and pelted him with garbage. They were not interested in the welfare of the Town, nor the Realm itself; they were only interested in themselves, and keeping control of others.

    And so the Prince rode back to his castle and pondered the situation. Truth was a good thing, as was Honesty. But when they combine to destroy Community, they become a Problem.

    The People of the Village of Dragonsfoot have a Decision to make:

    If their village continues to be inhospitable, suspicious, and unwelcoming, then they will be cut off. They cannot interact with the Realm, lest they undermine its huge and magnificent community. But they cannot be destroyed, for they are living beings, worthy of the universal pursuit of happiness. So they will be left alone, to wither or rise, as they see fit… but Alone.

    The town of Dragonsfoot, on the Dragontail peninsula of the continent of Aquaria in the Realm of Empyrea, is about to rise or fall. Their fate is yours to choose.

    The appearance and description of the village of Dragonsfoot in the Empyrea campaign set (release Summer 2018, featuring a dozen of the biggest names in RPG history) is up to you, local residents. Will you remain overrun by Trolls (and their leader Bote), or will you rise up and place Community first?

    The Empyrea design team will watch, wait, and write up the result by February 2018. The future of the village is in your hands. We will not interfere; this is YOUR problem, not ours.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      September 11, 2017 12:04 pm

      Looks like Steve banned his ass. Good on him to not succumb to Gamer Stockholm Syndrome.

    • Timotheus permalink
      September 11, 2017 2:21 pm

      That’s hilarious. EOTB picked a few scabs and Frankie goes sanctimonious ballistic on the whole site, despite the majority lining up to polish his knob. Steve was right to give him the finger.

      We’ll have to post a link to his dickstarter when it goes live. May have to greate a sock account and spend a $1 to make a few comments…

      • Timotheus permalink
        September 11, 2017 2:34 pm

        “Other famous artists of that era — including Caldwell, Dee, Diesel, Easley, Elmore, Holloway, Jaquays, and Otus — are being invited to join the project.”

        Wow, you’re announcing that you are inviting them. A more impressive announcement would be that some have actually accepted.

        “Mentzer and Darlene will finance the set through crowdfunding, with support from Judges Guild.”

        Good idea, Frankie. The reborn Judges Guild is two years late on the remake of the Invincible Overlord, with no delivery anywhere in sight. You’ll definitely want some of their support, and their reflected professionalism.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 12, 2017 10:24 am

      Well I think it’s nice to see the designers of the game are just as much socially retarded manchildren as the socially retarded manchildren that have played the game all these years. #warmfuzzies #blOwSR

    • Frog Gode permalink
      September 12, 2017 10:46 am

      Jacob Franklin also seems to believe there exists a vast gaming population outside Dragonsfart that is actually waiting for a new vanilla fantasy setting by the guy who wrote the Immortals boxset.

  83. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 11, 2017 11:48 pm

    Frank Wank got moded by a site that worships his ilk.

    I think they should do a Kickstarter expanding the original setting Franko created in that rant.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      September 12, 2017 2:02 am

      Sic semper TSR-anus.

    • Timotheus permalink
      September 12, 2017 7:23 am

      That rant is absolutely gonzo. How is truth the enemy of unity? You have to lie to each other to be friends?

      Still, it’s a hilarious bitch-move to create a village called Dragonsfoot in your world just to air your grievances with them.

    • Frog Gode permalink
      September 12, 2017 11:55 am

      Damn you internet-fucked attention span. I read the whole damn thing this time. Fran the Man is actually putting Dragonsfart in his setting. Which purports to be a professionnal product. Genious. If he does the same with the Tavern, the K&K&K and all the OSR luminaries, I am buying this shit.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 12, 2017 12:05 pm

        Frank do Tenkar’s Turdshack! Do Tenkar’s Turdshack!

      • Timotheus permalink
        September 12, 2017 1:26 pm

        Frankie should do Venger! And include a reference to a mythological place called Dumbermount (but there is a boatman who will promise to take you there for 48,000 GP)!

  84. Xartan Tsauggua permalink
    September 12, 2017 12:04 pm

    I’m just excited to see the writeups they come up with for “Bote” and the other thinly disguised denizens of DF. I’m guessing Charisma will be a dump stat.

  85. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    September 12, 2017 1:28 pm

    The funny thing is that, for a lot of us, Mentzer is a non-entity. I’m a Moldvay/Cook partisan, and Mentzer’s iteration seems like a rehash of B/X minus the charm.

  86. Timotheus permalink
    September 12, 2017 1:33 pm

    Man, I went by the Turdshack and this issue has exploded there, 120+ comments. I took a couple of tequila shots and skimmed it, and stumbled across the secret identity of that old cocksucking troll kewlmarine, the bitch who mocked Blooey’s service to our great nation.

    His name is William Cohen and he really is a faggot. His g+ picture has him kissing some dude, and all his posts are directed to Gaymers. com / 107465134217971584718

    (take out the spaces if you want to feel dirty and voyeurish)

    Most dudes I wouldn’t fagshame, but for crimes against Bloo, he deserves it. I knew he was a cocksucker.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 12, 2017 2:08 pm

      Should we fix him up with Kent?

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      September 13, 2017 9:41 am

      If I recall kewel marine was quite a cunt on DF. Ironic that he likes cock. And tonguing the ear hole of fat Puerto Ricans.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 13, 2017 9:51 am

        Yeah the gays can be some bitchy queens but usually about designer shoes and dance music, not elf games!

  87. Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
    September 12, 2017 5:41 pm

    I love Frank Mentzer – he’s a genius! Ever since Gary Gygax died, he has been busy recasting his efforts on a busy-work project editing the one of the many editions of Basics into himself as the most important game “designer” ever apart from Gygax. Amazing how these fuckers came out of the woodwork once Gygax died! Bravo, Menzter! Bravo!

  88. Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
    September 12, 2017 9:54 pm

    You’re no one in the BlowSR until you get banned. Now he’s a real OSR “luminary.”

    If Dragonsfart rates a village in Frank’s new campaign setting then there be a pig farmer named Yiddis on the edge of town with a giant shit-sty wafting the occasional welcoming aroma to any who venture too closely.

  89. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 12, 2017 10:12 pm

    I do have to say there is far more charm, color, and descriptive interest in the rant than in Stank Frank’s DMing videos I’ve seen on YouTube.

  90. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    September 13, 2017 4:21 pm

    Shit stirring.
    That was the other type of blog post at Tenkar’s Turdshack I couldn’t recall. Other than posts devoid of any meaningful content wrapped around an RPGNow affiliate link that is.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      September 13, 2017 6:41 pm

      The spicte must flow.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        September 13, 2017 6:41 pm

        Note to self, a struck-out ‘c’ looks a lot like an ‘e’.

      • Timotheus permalink
        September 13, 2017 6:47 pm

        Cool. I thought “spiete” was another pop culture reference going over my head.

  91. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    September 14, 2017 12:09 am

    More details about the Dragonsfoot/Mentzer kerfuffle…

    The ‘nicest guy in gaming’ seems to have a bit of a temper, and power fantasies to boot.

    • Timotheus permalink
      September 14, 2017 6:05 am

      Holy shit! EOTB is a piece of shit troll, but that is a psychotic response by Frankie.

      Now that his PM is out in the open, he will be seeing it quite a bit, methinks. Which of this Big Unity Ephemera project will bail on him as a result of this? Darlene will probably stay on in hopes of getting better gigs than Centaur Porn, and that Famous Fantasy Trilogy Novelist nobody ever heard of, but now Frank might be poison.

      I do hope he sues EOTB, though, for some good old fashioned internet drama.

      • BACLF permalink
        September 14, 2017 6:21 am

        Ol’ Frankie’s been working the elfgame racket for so long he forgot the cardinal rule…

        Elfgames: Not Serious!

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        September 18, 2017 11:52 am

        That looks to me like suicide by PM there. If this gets out it could turn into quite a shitstorm with endless threads of people arguing/defending Mentzer MY DARK LORD DO YOU HEAR THIS. THE OSR HAS LANGUISHED IN OBSCURITY FOR FAR TOO LONG. LIGHT THE BEACONS, SOUND THE CLARIONS. SENT IT FORTH INTO THE WORLD!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 14, 2017 6:53 am

      Hey Frank have you considered Play By Post? Your table play you toob videoes are boring as fuck but your writing is extremely entertaining I would play the shit out of that! Talk about a call to adventure!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 14, 2017 6:55 am

        Already designing random tables for all the ways “Bote” is going to be sodomized!

      • Frog Gode permalink
        September 14, 2017 8:28 am

        Sodomizing trolls is not as fun as it seems : they always take more pleasure than you do. Your appendix (N) would be better used on (brave) halflings.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        September 14, 2017 8:45 am

        Oh noes!!! Frankie his been haxxored! Cocaine fueled rant comes to an end as Frankie wakes up and realizes he doesn’t want to back his madman ravis. If it was me, I’d double down like I used to in Dragon magazine. Fucking destroy them, Frunk! Don’t be a pussy like when you worked for me you spineless jellyfish snail flail shit for brains!

    • Timotheus permalink
      September 14, 2017 7:00 am

      OK, I had to check out Ted Fauster, the Fantasy Trilogy novelist Frankie keeps bragging about…and he wrote a Duology, not a Trilogy, as FM claims.

      Makes you wonder if Fast Frank even read the “work” this guy did before signing him up. I mean, it’s pretty tough to confuse two books as being three.

      • Ghost of Frank Mentzer's Career permalink
        September 14, 2017 7:52 am

        Troll! You will NEVER use the US Postal system AGAIN!!!!!!

    • September 22, 2017 8:57 am

      I don’t know, how is it a bad thing for Frank Mentzer to get the shit kicked out of him? I honestly have a record of mocking him non-stop in the 80’s since that day in 1983 that my little brother brought home the 83 boxed sets.

      Dragonsfoot needs a good shake up too. My biggest problem with DF was that it was not original AD&D centered as advertised and D&D is all about mood. Just like this website is all about the need for flowing raw sewage on the D&D industry.

      Wait a minute, let me redirect this shit pipe back into Frank Mentzer’s beard.

      I’ll never forget the look on his face when I was talking to Gary at the 2007 Lake Geneva con. Confusion, betrayal, it was as if he was going to say:

      “But my lord Gygax, this is the abomination amongst the Dragonsfoot Landsraad…”

      Well, who is the abomination now Frank?

      Another hollow victory for me! YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

      (((SQUIRT,))) AW CRAP,! I just shit my pants…..

      Let me retake this, if Dragonsfoot doesn’t cave in to my demands of reinstating Frank Mentzer as TSR luminary supreme then they will be hit by the greatest wave of litigation that God himself has never see-….

      (((SLBLURPT))) Not again… Can someone clean up this commentary section? ANYBODY!?!?!?

  92. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    September 14, 2017 10:50 am

    Newsflush!!!!! Frank Metzger, notorious leader of skinheads and writer of RaHoWa, pleads ignorance to writing scathing private message . Lunkhead lemmings line up to suck his cock just like the underage skinhead boys did previously. IP’s are confirmed but D&D idiots continue to believe Frunk. More news as it unfurls.

  93. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 14, 2017 11:03 am

    Wow, enough talking material for a thousand comments. Better get a new post up on this, STAT.

    EOTB is now a folk hero, I guess. I like what Trent has to say, though I know it’s just boiling down to his Gary worship.

    I played D&D for almost 40 years, but only found out who Mentzer was a few years ago. I think it was actually in a post here, about Frank’s pay for appearances or something. I never owned any boxed sets. But it was seeing his DMing on YouTube (pointed there by a DF retard who was touting it as his example of how to run his own games) that made me wonder what the fuss was. I know a con game with mouth breathing fuckfaces is different from (probably) his home sessions with whatever old neckbeards, but it gives you a good idea. 30 minutes to map 15 feet of hallway and to get a door open. What struck me the most was how he seemed to speak for the PC’s.

    Boring as shit. And he got paid for it?

  94. Frog Gode permalink
    September 14, 2017 11:54 am

    Guys, Guys (and Ladies, and kent), don’t forget that Frank is, in essence, one of us : a coke-fueled schizoid troll, unaware of his own trollness, a lost Minor Prince (PrinceOfSomething?) charging into windmill-shaped mountains of shitty clones, an arrière-garde social justice soldier swinging the broken sword of his past relevance at the gigantic beast that is about to swallow him : the Failed Kickstarter

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
      September 14, 2017 1:02 pm

      Professional linguistics experts verify Kazakhstan hackers have vested interests in posing as Frunk Metamucil and don’t suggest it’s some fat beard’s opine either! He’s certified in 103 varieties of thieves’ can’t and will fuck you up for suggesting Frink made that fucking hilarious private massage! Own up Frunk! You’re way too old to be this much of a vegepygmy’s chlorphyll bleeding snatch!

    • Xartan Tssagua permalink
      September 15, 2017 8:42 pm

      60 something old dude in the rust belt I think you can use Occam’s razor and say too much whiskey.

  95. Ghost of Frank Mentzer's Career permalink
    September 14, 2017 1:28 pm

    I am lawyering UP!!!!!! Asshole trolls! You are banned from all RPG conventions too!!!!!

    • Timotheus permalink
      September 14, 2017 2:16 pm

      Sorry, Frankie, we’re just a bit jealous that you never stopped here to spam us with your Ephemera announcements like you did every other forum and blog.

  96. Timotheus permalink
    September 14, 2017 2:14 pm

    It is pretty creepy that the DF mods are all on that KKKAlehouse thread bad-mouthing Frankie and sucking EOTB’s withered pud, while they have banned discussion of the topic over on DF. Not giving credence to the “Somebody stole Frank’s IP! That is not his language cadence!” conspiracy, but if those Mods – Papers n’ Pussless, Mattblew, and VulcanSteve – claim taking the highroad by not airing the dirty behind-the-scenes laundry, then they should stick to that rather than running to KKK to snicker and bask in mob approval.

    Frankie’s a delusional dick, but the DF mod/KKK clique is a bigger batch of trolls than we.

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
      September 14, 2017 2:47 pm

      Maybe rather than hackers, Frunk should claim Alzheimer’s and that he just gosh darned cannot remember what he puts on the internet sometimes.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        September 14, 2017 3:40 pm

  97. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    September 14, 2017 4:23 pm

    As if the whole thing couldn’t get any stupider, Durr Hurr shows up at the ‘Shack to add some backspray.

    Nobody outside this niche of a niche has ever heard of Frank Kentzer, nobody gives enough of a shit to hack his account to echo the same stupid passive/aggressive internet tough guy nonsense that Frankie posted publicly.

    Somewhere, there’s a ‘Frankie Says Relax’ joke inn here.

  98. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    September 14, 2017 4:27 pm

    And now, a real blow… J.P. Donleavy has died.

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
      September 14, 2017 5:02 pm

      Grant Hart of Husker Du popped his clogs as well. Sad day, sadder than any crisis Frunk is having for sure because Zen Arcade meant more to me than anything Frunk N Stain ever released.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        September 14, 2017 5:56 pm

        Yeah, that sucks. Zen Arcade is a goddamn epic.

        I’m a diehard East Coaster, but the Twin Cities were perhaps the most interesting music epicenter of American music in the early 80s, with Athens in the running as well.

      • Timotheus permalink
        September 14, 2017 6:17 pm

        Damn, the day started off so funny. Now it blows. I lost my cd of Zen Arcade, but I’ve still got The Living End. Time for some New Day Rising…

      • Ghost of Frank Mentzer's Career permalink
        September 14, 2017 8:04 pm

        I just want to add that Vulcan Stev’s wife is still dead of the cunt cancer.

      • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
        September 14, 2017 8:17 pm

        Good decision to get a professional ghostwriter.

  99. Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
    September 14, 2017 8:50 pm

    A blast from the past; selected quotations from the first few pages of Dragonsfart’s Q and A with Frank Mentzer, Part 1:

    “I worked closely with many top artists and got along great, simply by respecting them as professionals.”

    “The lawyers force us to go out and kick people around. This is The Way It Is. If you don’t like the results, change the legal system. :/”

    “btw, I’m not at all offended by folks’ personal opinions, even if they go against me.”

    “But to write for publication — including Footnotes hereabouts — I spend serious time and skull sweat, for I have found that however humble my intentions, my words in print come back to jeer at me for decades thereafter.”

    “You bear a heavy mantle as DM, and you have duties. Be honest always. When you have an oops, be forthright and try to amend ongoing incidents… Be dramatic if it suits you, there’s an entertainer hidden in all of us.”

    Don’t sue me Frank!!!

    • Timotheus permalink
      September 15, 2017 4:43 am

      Unity over Truth. GO AWAY.

      I will tell you what your character does. GO AWAY.

      I know somebody who knows a mailman. GO AWAY.

      If you ever post on this site again, GOD WILL SUE YOU.

      • Ghost of Frank Mentzer's Career permalink
        September 15, 2017 5:19 pm

        You will NEVER be allowed to affix a postage stamp to an addressed envelope, write your return address in the corner, add the ZIP+4, take it to your local Post Office, hand it to the clerk at the window and send it through the US Mail EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!

  100. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    September 15, 2017 6:41 pm

    Fuck!!!!!!!!! Harry Dean Stanton as well!!!! RIP Harry you were good people.

    • Timotheus permalink
      September 15, 2017 6:47 pm

      God damn.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      September 15, 2017 9:40 pm

      This year is sucking as much as last. He was great in everything he did.

      • magicballs permalink
        September 17, 2017 11:19 am

        He was also 150 years old. What the fuck do you expect to happen?

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        September 17, 2017 8:15 pm

        I expect you to choke on a monster cock and sustain even more brain damage. Next stupid question?

      • magicballs permalink
        September 18, 2017 3:15 pm

        Monster cocks and brain damage. That’s funny stuff. Do you have any material about farts or boobies?

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      September 17, 2017 3:42 pm

      “Right” *keeps rolling joints.

  101. Timotheus permalink
    September 15, 2017 6:46 pm

    Hey guys, Jeffblow resurrected science fiction from the satanic assholes who let it go out of print simply because of sales. Now he wants to resurrect the inner Brad Pitt in all of us. He sees how you slouch in your chair – so do all the chicks, losers! Stop eating doritos, go outside, and pump iron!

    (More life changing diaries after this post. He is focused!)

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      September 15, 2017 9:46 pm

      Jeez, he’s going to reinvent himself as a ‘PUA’.

    • September 15, 2017 10:03 pm

      How old is his audience? Is there a dad-level PUA beyond “divorced and terrified of dating again”?

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      September 17, 2017 3:48 pm

      Dipshit is trading out cereal for steak and eggs? Hello colon cancer!

      Really, few people realize most breakfast cereal has vitamins we don’t get a lot of otherwise. This dumbass certainly doesn’t.

  102. Xartan Tissagua permalink
    September 15, 2017 8:51 pm

    I’m out of the kickstarter as he’s already released “Botes” stats. Apparently charisma is normal but his Wisdom is a 1 – doesn’t that make him a wight or a juju zombie?

  103. Ghost of Frank Mentzer's Career permalink
    September 15, 2017 9:20 pm


    Let’s start from scratch.

    My name is Frank. A long time ago I worked for TSR and Gary Gygax, and I wrote some things.

    Now it’s 35 years later, and most tabletop hobby gamers don’t know me. Many have never heard of me. There are a lot of great games out there, and it’s hard to pick one.

    Thank you for your time and interest.

    When I was Gary’s Creative Aide, we talked about my Campaign. We decided to publish it, but Gary wanted it very distant, with no active connections to his continent. That’s what he wanted so that’s what I did. Earlier plans didn’t materialize, so the time is now, sadly 9 years after my friend left us.

    Empyrea is based on three premises: magic instead of Technology, a sentient but indifferent Planet who knows how everything can be in balance, and royals who place quality of life (for all) above unbalancing mass whims (like war and wealth).

    These premises have far-reaching consequences, and I have spent decades extrapolating the results and applying them to an entire continental society. (I have over a thousand chatroom game logs, i.e. my laboratory.)

    Our story is about Empyrea at its height. It is geographically constrained on all four sides, and Evil wants to spoil the party. But at the moment it’s a comfortable Realm, the sort of world in which your current player characters have thrived. They’ll find a second home in Empyrea.

    We plan to release the core set by next Summer (Kickstarter in October). If it is well-received, we’ll offer a whole line of supporting products. We’re trying to make Empyrea available for various Fantasy RPG systems, and a science fiction interface for the offplanet setting. These are plans, but only the future will reveal the results.

    SPOILERS: Additional sub-plots involve orcs trying to be civilized, dragons deciding not to be adventurer-fodder any longer, an undersea race of giant squid who actually rule the planetary ocean, a Lost World right next door, giants who may have an offplanet heritage, and Immortal beings who might just erase everything and start over.
    But that’s all in the background, and won’t affect you… much.

    Why will this take 9 months to produce? Because Loxley is assembling fantastic talents from all fields, but few are doing it full-time. You’ll soon see 30 names. These tremendously talented people work with many companies. We just have to deal with the logistics.

    Thanks again for your interest. More to come soon.


    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 16, 2017 6:33 pm

      “Let’s start from scratch.”
      Okay Frank! All is forgiven, not that it ever happened anyway!

    • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
      September 18, 2017 7:30 pm

      I played in a game of his once (I was there!) that was some kind of murder mystery who-dun-it that takes place in a big modern office building with a security system powered by D&D magic spells and containing magic copier machines and stuff. It was OK, but weird. It kind of relied on an Asperger’s-level understanding of D&D magic to solve the mystery.

      Is this what Empyrea is going to be like? Maybe combined with a witchy new age magick Earth Mother Gaea and some Trekkie/Commie-type leaders who are royal but also somehow non-rich hippie peaceniks?

      I can’t imagine why Saint Gary wouldn’t want something like that in his campaign world.

  104. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    September 15, 2017 9:47 pm

    Somebody tell Scott he’s going to have to cut some alt-righties:

    Hmmmm… I wonder if he’s going to DC for the Juggalo march…

  105. Donald Trump Verified Frank Mentzer permalink
    September 16, 2017 3:57 pm

    The first thing I notice here is the stink of unflushed excrement, at MOST SIX beings floating and bobbing about chatting about D&D without knowledge but with lots of stinkage, pukage and stupage.

    • Donald Trump Verified Frank Mentzer permalink
      September 16, 2017 4:01 pm

      The second thing I notice is that THE ROYALTY here, ydis, scott, kent and jeff rients rarely comment because of EXCESS SHITHEADS.

      • BACLF permalink
        September 16, 2017 4:34 pm

        Look, Durr Hurr, you’d be happier as a Juggalo. The Family wouldn’t judge you for your pendulous m00bs, atypical neurology, and lack of intellectual acumen. The Dark Carnival is your destiny, embrace the ICP- your embrace of fascism will only lead to further heartbreak.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        September 17, 2017 3:55 pm

        Hey Kunt face, how does it feel to be a pathetic joke even to the unblown? When you show your blotchy red face in comments sections you get laughed off by lamers.

        How’s it feel? Hanging that noose yet, jackoff?

    • Donald Trump Verified Frank Mentzer permalink
      September 16, 2017 4:59 pm

      There is a tremendous smell here of False Balls.

    • Ghost of Frank Mentzer's Career permalink
      September 16, 2017 6:24 pm

      First: This is a private communication and is entirely protected by privacy law. If you reveal any of this content, I call my attorney (the civil guy, not the corporate… both paid, asshole, per your previous intrusion into my butt) and we try for your net worth first, pitiful as that is and probably is tied up in anal lube and imitation crab meat.

      Listen Kent you fucking faggot and listen GOOD! You asshole cock sucking troll I will RUIN YOU!!!! I have connections with the the United States Post Office, ALL RPG conventions and the IRISH DOLE! ALL OF THESE ARE NO LONGER AVAILABLE TO YOU IF YOU EVER POST AT YDIS AGAIN!!!!!!

      I am the All Powerful Prince Frank Mentzer!!!!!!! I put the “I” in “BECMI”!!!!!! I have an army of LAWYERS and GARY’S BLESSING on MY SIDE!!!!

      Go back to biting pillows you fucking Irish faggot!!!!!!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 16, 2017 6:27 pm

        As fucking psychotic as you are, Mr. Mentzer, I am so backing your Kickstarter at the highest possible level.

  106. Timotheus permalink
    September 17, 2017 1:09 pm

    Fast Frank’s official statement on the recent turmoil:

    “Quite a week for the PR team. ;>

    My takeaway:

    I don’t claim to have been hacked. I know nothing about this stuff.
    I simply reported what happened, from my side.
    Some then asked “So what DID happen?” while others said “Let’s prove our theory!”
    As a DM I see this in-game all the time. ;>

    I truly forgive my haters. Try to carry on, folks.
    And let me know, sometime, how it turned out. 🙂 ”

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      September 17, 2017 8:04 pm

      Gotta stuff that shit down the Memory Hole. Who ya gonna believe, Frank Mentzer or your own lying eyes?

  107. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 18, 2017 10:30 am

    Real liars know you must never give up on the lie. It’s pathetic, but there ya go.

    It’s one thing to go off on some dipshit, but his threats of con bans and whatever are douche chill inducing. He really is a fat, weird nothing. I hope his fucking kickstarter fails and he has to go back to bakery work. Goddamn old loser.

    • Ghost of Frank Mentzer's Career permalink
      September 18, 2017 12:10 pm

      It’s back to bakery work for me then. I will never make any bread off this Kickstarter now. All because EOTB wanted to get a rise out of me. I really kneeded the dough too. I thought it would really roll in. This takes the cake. Everyone else gets a piece of the pie it seems. No turnover in sales so no cookie for me. Time to make the donuts.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        September 22, 2017 9:00 am

        Soggy biscuit.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      September 18, 2017 2:29 pm

      Yeah this is amateur hour. Tarnowski or Zak would have handled that so much better. It is at the very least heartening to see that the OSR has managed to nurture, if nothing else, a breed of demagogue far superior to anything that prowled around the tabletop scene in the olden days.

      In addition I must castigate Frog Gode for living in a 3rd world country that purports to be part of the EU yet fails spectacularly in every aspect of running a simple airline. I took a transfer via Paris on my way from Canookistan. I am never flying Air France again.

      • Frog Gode permalink
        September 19, 2017 12:30 am

        I vowed the same thing years ago. Air France is nothing more than a huge expense receipts generator these days, and unless you are going to one of our former colonies, you’ll only meet drunk executives and refueling technicians’ relatives flying on employee discount (there are like millions of them). Planes are always late, and you have to connect at Charles de Gaulle, which is the dirtiest hub I have ever seen. Inflight meals are the only thing that keep that sad excuse for an national company a notch abose Alitalia.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        September 19, 2017 10:23 am

        De Gaulle is vaguely reminiscent of J.G Ballard, a modern concrete structure that exists not as a thing of itself but as an expression of the pathology of its inhabitants. As one stands for 45 minutes looking over abandoned assembly lines and metal detectors, waiting for the two that are actually staffed to get to your fucking luggage whilst a stoically cheerful airline attendant herds the increasingly belligerent crowds through a single security checkpoint, one understands both the need to blow oneself up and the need to opress minorities. The catastrophic damage and disrupted flesh and organs inflicted by a home-made explosive no more then the a cathartic piece-de-resistance to a process already fully embodied by the stained yet grandiose architecture and the empty-eyed staff, the chronically understaffed airport already subliminally preparing one for the tragic shock of the bombing.
        Looking at a place that has a million shopping mall attendants yet insufficient customs officials to man even a fifth of the available booths, one begins to subconsciously view the people around oneself only as negatives, person-shaped holes indicating spaces where people should not be. In the Id, the bombing comes to represent the righting of a cosmic wrong, a primal act of creation.
        In a similar way, the lines, vast distances and belligerent safety posters, inexplicably written in Chinese make one feel isolated and alone, a stranger not just in a strange land, but hailing from a place that may be no more then a delusion, the fellow passengers little more then obstacles to a much desired escape from purgatory.
        There is no banter in de Gaulle, the sneering, disparaging comments serving only to further heighten the isolation, for the airline personel do not care, and have indeed, forgotten that it is possible to do so. One seeks to distance oneself from one’s fellow passenger, subconsciously avoiding any association with them in a vain attempt to avoid their fate. In opressing those that are most unlike us in physical appearance, the passenger can, at least to himself, avenge himself upon the airport.

      • magicballs permalink
        September 19, 2017 3:39 pm

        Beautifully written PrinceofNothing. Almost makes me nostaligic for the craphole. That said, I admire the French fuck-you attitude to customer service

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        September 20, 2017 4:24 pm

        Riddled with stylistic and grammatical errors but I am getting within that 1 SD of J.G Ballard, always a good sign moodwise. I miss poutine, my bitch and vacation. Prince, out.

  108. Matt Fucking Finch permalink
    September 19, 2017 11:03 am

    Howdy, fans!

    I know how much the posters here respect me and the rest of the financial vanguard of our beloved movement, the OSR!

    So we’ve got a fun project for you all to donate to! We tell you what is worth buying in the OSR!

    Rather than bore you with words, come check out the kickstarter!

    I’m sure you all have already checked out the 45 minute youtube video where we discussed this, so thanks!

    By the way, Bill Webb is gay! Ha! Ha ha!

    • September 19, 2017 12:21 pm

      Between this, the people funding Tenkar, and Frank’s weird sudden interest in “compiling a better overview, welcoming platform, and info distribution point” the OSR is finally getting those gatekeepers they’ve secretly coveted all these years. Real shame for the locals though.

  109. Poet permalink
    September 19, 2017 11:53 pm

    There once was a boy who had no friends
    His name was Captain Kirks Anus
    He made friends come out of his arse
    The ydis regulars, aka
    The Shits-That-Won’t-Flush
    Using his hands he shaped his faeces
    Into his friends
    He made lots of faeces because
    He was a very stupid cunt with no education
    His name was Captain Kirks Anus
    The police were after him
    Because he was a leper and a psychopath
    And kept making shitty friends from his anus
    And these friends were like shitty rabbits
    All covered in shit
    But frightened rabbits
    They were tough internet rabbits
    Tough ydis rabbits hand-made from the shit
    Out of Captain Kirks Anus
    The dumbest boy in his class
    No one ever liked him
    Cos he was very stupid and had shit on his hands.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      September 20, 2017 12:37 pm

      You mad, bro?

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      September 20, 2017 3:01 pm

      Jesus, Kent, you’re really dim, son.
      You’re no Egil Skallagrimsson.
      As a bard, you’re a disaster,
      Not even a poetaster.
      Every verse a lyric crime,
      Void of rhythm, lacking rhyme.
      Born sans wit, shunned by the Muse,
      This, dumb shit, is why you lose.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        September 20, 2017 4:21 pm

        I feel the centre of your rhymes need beefing up, they are, in the words of the poets of distant Africque, too tight son. They need room to breathe. I suggest the following alteration:

        As a bard, thou art a disaster,
        No mighty Skald, nought but a poetaster
        Egil Skallagrimson is not who thou art,
        Thou cannot match prose with the likes of Patrick Stewart,
        Thine verses are unto Scraprincesses scribbles,
        Thine insults are unto Zaprincessess dribbles,
        Thou art Dee-Void of Rhythm and lacking in rhyme-ing
        Thine attempts at insult art disasters of cadence and time-eeing
        Thine credibility is of a kind with Frank Metzer,
        Thine attempts at wurldbuildeeeeing an epic dis-aaster
        Born, devoid of wit, forsaken by Muse
        Bitch Knights of Cydonia is what we are about
        Fair Kent, it is time that you choose,
        Bullet or noose, are both a way out,

      • Frog Gode permalink
        September 21, 2017 1:05 am

        The morning is a soiled toilet
        a book not read
        a stain

        the city
        a trannie with makeup half-off

        but startling s-he rears into the sky
        like a scribbly horse by Scrap in a harness of semen


        the pants are brown now

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        September 22, 2017 3:03 pm

        The whiskey tastes of bog
        blending with the semen in my mouth
        In Dublin the sun rises

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        September 22, 2017 3:16 pm

        Ugh I fucked up the haiku

        Morning breath reeking
        Of darkrooms in Pyongyang
        Kent smiles contendly

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        September 22, 2017 7:50 pm

        His ass and his mouth
        Kent knows not the difference
        Like a jellyfish.

  110. Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
    September 20, 2017 9:18 pm

    There once was a gamer named Frankie,
    Who when trolled would become rather cranky.
    He would spout angry vows,
    Wave his giant eyebrows,
    And ban from conventions quite stanky.

  111. Fuck u permalink
    September 20, 2017 10:48 pm

    Did Gregory Gorgonmilk delete his internet or what

    • FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN permalink
      September 21, 2017 9:36 am

      Details please. The blOwSR is being very tight lipped about the latest ragequit.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 21, 2017 5:56 pm

        I think that’s just an indication of Greg Gorgonjizz’s non status.

      • Fuck u permalink
        September 21, 2017 8:35 pm

        Nah, he disappeared his blog and G+ presence. He had started stupidly wading into politics so it probably had to do with that

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 21, 2017 10:49 pm

        No worries. Apparently he was a Nazi supporter and Zak S and Pundit have already spoken up to defend Nazi rights to free speech or deathcamps or something. Those two Half Jews sure know their alt right Nazi sympathizer fan base!

        The spice (and Jew skin lampshades) must flow!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 21, 2017 11:32 pm

        No worries. Apparently he was a Nazi supporter and Zak S and Pundit have already spoken up on his behalf to defend Nazi rights to free speech or deathcamps or something. Those two Half Jews sure know their alt right Nazi sympathizer fan base!
        The spice (and Jew skin lampshades) must flow!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 21, 2017 11:35 pm

        Also I think Half Jew is now a new D&D 5e playable race!

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        September 22, 2017 7:45 pm

        Yeah, I’d love to hear more details. GG had one of the more interesting oeuvres in the OSR, and he didn’t seem like he was always pitching product.

        I never would have pegged -heh- him as an Anime Nazi type, judging by his music selection and geographic location, I figured he was a slightly left-of-center-largely-apolitical type.

        He didn’t nuke his youtube channel… seems like diversity-in-comics broke his brain.

      • Timotheus permalink
        September 24, 2017 7:52 am

        Evidently his efforts at doing the real legwork on the premier blOwSR product, Potty Gods, was not appreciated…or already forgotten in the deluge of crap.

  112. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 21, 2017 11:39 am

    See, Kunt? You probably worked on your dry, unwitty, schizophrenic opus for a day, while Bigby’s, Prince, and the rest knock out the yuk’s chop chop and lickety split.

    Hell, I’ll have a go at high poetry:

    “tar rah rah boom deeay
    that cunt Kent died today
    ha ha ha hip hooray!
    We’re having a parade!

    His bod will start to smell
    his soul shoots down to hell
    down to that awful place
    demon spunk on his face”

  113. Poet permalink
    September 21, 2017 10:05 pm

    I really hit a nerve with that poem of mine.

    Sometimes, a good poem can pierce with truth of photographic realism, and beyond, to a dreadful grave divine perception.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      September 22, 2017 7:52 pm

      The only nerve you’ve ever hit is the one in your anus that you mash every night with your baseball bat-sized dildo.

  114. Poet permalink
    September 21, 2017 10:07 pm

    There once was a boy who had no friends
    His name was Captain Kirks Anus
    He made friends come out of his arse
    The ydis regulars, aka
    The Shits-That-Won’t-Flush
    Using his hands he shaped his faeces
    Into his friends
    He made lots of faeces because
    He was a very stupid cunt with no education
    His name was Captain Kirks Anus
    The police were after him
    Because he was a leper and a psychopath
    And kept making shitty friends from his anus
    And these friends were like shitty rabbits
    All covered in shit
    But frightened rabbits
    They were tough internet rabbits
    Tough ydis rabbits hand-made from the shit
    Out of Captain Kirks Anus
    The dumbest boy in his class
    No one ever liked him
    Cos he was very stupid and had shit on his hands.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 21, 2017 11:09 pm

      • BACLF permalink
        September 22, 2017 12:05 am

        That’s our Kent!

  115. Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
    September 22, 2017 9:30 pm

    Looks like Kent’s boyfriend/Macris’ meal ticket is crashing-and-burning:

    • September 23, 2017 8:37 am

      Good thing Macris never updated his pro social presence to reflect the move. If it was a move, and not just his masters at Defy loaning him out to a secret buddy. Hey, Travis, are you still one of the mods on this site? Can you comment, or do you no longer give the half shit about any of this?

    • Timotheus permalink
      September 24, 2017 7:48 am

      Hah! I wonder if Macris is trying to network among those “confirmed” speakers for his new meal ticket. I could see him blowing rent-an-SS-goon Erik Prince for access to his abusive sister Betsy “rape isn’t so bad” Devos, and from there access to the Orange One himself.

  116. Timotheus permalink
    September 24, 2017 8:41 am

    OK, the RPGPlagiarist did an interview with Gorgonmilk. Some interesting stuff, despite Tarnowski making it all about him, as usual.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      September 24, 2017 5:54 pm

      Tarno sure tried hard to enlist GG as a political ally, but GG didn’t take the bait. Meanwhile, in the comments, Scott Anderson and Oakes Spaulding showed up to bitch about SJWs… SSDD.

      As usual, Tarno mentions that his ancestors died in Nazi concentration camps, but somehow he’s more upset about some fat girl with blue hair and a Tumblr than his is about emoboy Nazis.

      I think Greg was railroaded- there’s a far cry between writing that hunting down and beating up some scrote is disquieting, and being a white supremacist. That whole Mongrel Banquet Club seems like a bigger circle jerk than this place, it’s weird to see some somewhat familiar names associated with the group, especially knowing that they’d target a peer the way they did.

      • Timotheus permalink
        September 24, 2017 6:19 pm

        Yeah, Biggs, agreed on all points. Scotty and Oakes virtue signalling about their strawmen, Pundejo’s willingness to march with nazis if they are blabbing about Free Speech despite their supposed murdering of his family, all while he is obsessed with some antifa chick that doesn’t shave her pits. And Gorgonmulch getting railroaded – seems symptomatic of our political discourse these days – if you do not agree to the letter with me on everything, then you HATE BLACK PEOPLE and I DESPISE EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR (whatever it really is). This is the first I’ve heard of the Mongrels, though, and I have no idea on their membership. Not too impressed with their tactics, seems like Zak’s playbook with his minions.

      • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
        September 24, 2017 7:02 pm

        I think the worst thing about the whole kerfuffle is the bait-and-switch. If they portrayed themselves as 3edgy5me, then got all offended when GG took them at their word and went on the attack, that’s a real shitty way to go about things.

        The real puzzler is that some of these people have been prolific OSR product-pushers, so there will probably be a serious shakeup/realignment in the works. Even now, Gavin has got to consider the flow of spice, now that GG is a pariah.

    • Bigby's Affirmative Consent Lubed Fist permalink
      September 24, 2017 6:04 pm

      Found this as well…

      Suggestive, but not illuminating…

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 25, 2017 9:57 am

      Pundick is a subhuman blowhard pile of feces. I hope he gets tetminal cancer.

      Also, another generous donation to Planned Parenthood has been made in Oakes Spaulding’s name.

  117. Timotheus permalink
    September 25, 2017 8:17 am

    So Jeffblow has saved fantasy literature, turned himself into a ripped PUA while making you do the same, and now he has saved your D&D games from the blahs.

    “And I’m not joking when I say this, but I’ve heard accounts of what people’s D&D sessions were like before they read my book. It’s not pretty, y’all.”

    This boy just can’t stop sucking his own pud. And I bet his gaming sessions are the fucking worst.

    In other news, Circumsova has picked up one of Grogturdia’s old banners to loudly proclaim to us (for the thousandth time) that Tolkien had only MINIMAL influence on D&D.

    Can’t wait til these bozos get caught up to the 2010-era blOwSR blog posts. Then, they’ll release the Dungeon Pulp Alphabet while screaming they are saving pulp, gaming, AND the alphabet from THEM (because THEY don’t want you to have it).

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      September 25, 2017 10:24 am

      Yah the more LoTR I consume the more that statement seems like nonsense to me. Can anyone read the fucking Hobbit and tell me that had no effect whatsoever on DnD?

  118. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 25, 2017 11:09 am

    Speaking of big, fat, neckbeard man-children.

    The Talkback forums have been closed for a couple of days.

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