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Zak S. and RPGPundit, a comparison of the D&D 5th Edition consultants, or “John Tarnowski must feel lower than a legless flea’s taint”

November 8, 2014
zak bfuck

Zak S.

Unverified picture of RPGPundit

Picture of RPGPundit [unverified]

How do these OSR heavyweights stack up? Let’s take a look:

Signature product: Vornheim, the Complete City Kit is written, illustrated & graphic designed by Zak S. and won a technology award because the organization bestowing the award I guess wanted the PR pop that comes from giving a tech award to a paper book written by a porno guy. It’s acclaimed by many in the OSR as the greatest thing since medium belt pouches, derided by others as silly, indulgent, littered with pointless tables, and ludicrously unusable. Everyone agrees that Mandy looks gross on the cover.

Arrows of Indra is D&D with a coat of Bollywood face paint slapped on. It has sold almost dozens of copies and I can’t find a single review outside of the one written by RPGPundit himself, who awards his work a rating of 9 out of 10 — presumably he blames the one point deduction on shitty art, or fucked up layout, or something else he was not responsible for. If you would like an Anglicized version of India written by an American Mexican living in Bolivia (Uruguay?), this one’s for you. John is super stoked to mention there’s a tranny (sp? Is it “trannie?”) on the cover, which is fine and all but why didn’t he celebrate the tranny on the cover when his supposed shitting on of the LGBT community was an issue? It’s like those guys who are all suddenly, “I have lots of black friends,” when it’s pointed out they always hire the goof-off white kid instead of the qualified black kid.

Typical supporter response to admitted retarded claims that either one of these dudes shit on the LGBT community, or hate gays, or whatever that shit was cause I couldn’t really figure it out: [paraphrased] “Zak. S. is not a homophobe. To assert anything contrary is ridiculous and itself driven by a hate agenda. He ministers, tenderly and angel-like, to his disabled, immigrant, genderqueer, alternative girlfriend Mandy. Can he sometimes be abrasive? Maybe, but only to dummies, Republicans, and other people we don’t like. But his saintly demeanor and creative genius (Vornheim!) rank him atop humanity, to say nothing of the OSR, which without him would be bereft of meaning, value, and hope.”

[paraphrased] “I’m not a fan of RPGPundit and in fact I think he’s bad for the OSR, and gaming as a whole. I cannot defend any of his actions. I have boycotted all his products on principle, but they basically look terrible and derivative, so I never would have purchased them anyway. Obviously his creepo politics are offensive, no wonder he had to flee the US to embed himself in a primitive culture. I wonder if it wasn’t an actual sex crime or maybe just one against nature itself that caused him to hastily depart America, but that’s just me wondering — as yet, I have no proof (email me if you know something). And also I just get this vibe that he smells. But anyway, despite all evidence of a disgusting moral character and acknowledging the probability that I’m sure in the next couple days the truth will come out and we’ll find out he drives by gay clubs and throws hot dogs out his window and cackles at the m2f genderstrobes lined up at the door, as far as I know, to date, to my knowledge only I cannot speak for anyone else, I don’t THINK I have ever seen him do more than just be insulting and dismissive in sort of a general way to the LGBT community, and maybe not even that but I can’t be sure. I’m certain I’ll have to retract this provisional note of reluctant support, probably within days or only hours when the full truth of his infamy is revealed, but I would feel weird defending Zak and NOT defending RPGPundit and Zak has sort of implied I need to defend both, so… there it is. RPGPundit is disgusting and should be shunned on principle, just probably not for the reason everyone is doing it right now…”

What James Edward Raggi IV thinks: James published Vornheim, pleaded with Zak for the Alice in Wonderland vs. Dracula thing, and pops a tiny boner w/ watery dribble of pre-cum at the thought of publishing anything else Zak related. He can celebrate Death Frost Plagiarism all he wants, Vornheim literally built his company and the new Zak thing will revive it after numerous Kickstarter stumbles and creative misfires (Death Love Doom, Fuck for Satan, Joop van Ooms, Broodmother Vaporware, etc.)

RPGPundit approached James hat-in-hand, asking if his eminence would be so gracious as to consider publishing his long-in-the-works supplement Dark Albion, a project that seemingly would fit gorgeously into the post-Renaissance LotFP default setting. James was shocked at first, then turned his head slightly and laughed deeply but quietly into his hand — he made an extreme effort to ensure RPGPundit would notice this laughter, but more importantly notice the theatrical effort to obscure the laughter, as is done when someone wants to enjoy a good laugh at someone’s expense without alerting them to the ridicule and thereby spoil opportunities for future derision.

Attitude toward ISIS: Zak S. has made no public pronouncements, but we may guess he does not support ISIS and is generally pro-America, although not in favor of a militaristic foreign policy and the aggressive oligarchy in whose interests it is deployed.

John Tarnowski has made no public pronouncements, but based on his overall character, it is not unreasonable to suppose he despises America and supports the terrorists and may even now be thinking ugly thoughts about Abraham Lincoln, baseball, and apple pie. But there is absolutely no hard evidence of this, that is certain.

Apart from Wizards of the Coast, collaborates with: Zak S. is partnered with acclaimed author China Mieville on a forthcoming project, went to the wedding of one of the guys from Marilyn Manson, and hangs out with actresses you will recognize from such films as Ass Eaters Unanimous 19, My Hot Wife is Fucking Blackzilla! 7, and Facefucking Inc. 8.

RPGPundit follows James Desborough on G+.

So who comes out ahead?!?!? Haha, trick question — they both fucking suck assholes!

436 Comments leave one →
  1. November 8, 2014 10:26 am

    You neglected to factor in kewl majickal powerz. pundit’s supernatural relations with Uruguayan bureaucracy may not put him ahead of Zak, but they should count for something.

    Also, I disagree of your assessment of Arrows of Indra’s “shitty art.” Other than the cover (which is competently executed and somewhat evocative), I am unaware of any “art” in that product. Granted, there are markings which a visually impaired person might generously describe as illustrations, but there is no “art,” shitty or otherwise.

    • justme permalink
      November 8, 2014 10:41 am

      Good point RPGPudent is a magick practioner for realz. He’s had the good taste not to post clips of himself having carnal relations with some stoned kid picked up at a bus station. But he did write Forward to Another Heartbreaker !? So hmmmm……

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 8, 2014 11:18 pm

        He never had carnal relations with a stoned kid, but he had carnal relations with a stone, when he tried to combine his rune magick with sex magick.


      • Jack permalink
        November 10, 2014 5:35 pm

        Which is the higher-level wizard, Tarnowski or Venger?

        Also, I am totally stealing Molester Crowley if I’m ever forced to play in Carcosa at gunpoint.

      • Elminster Crowley permalink
        November 15, 2014 9:49 am


  2. turdburglar permalink
    November 8, 2014 4:55 pm

    What the fuck is all this “heartbreaker” shit about in the OSR? I’ve seen it mentioned on some blog by the name of B/X Blackrazor. The guy is an opionionated windbag (gasp!) OSR fan who’s published some retroclone. Your expat desciption of RPGPunshit sounds like Blackrazor. Go Seahawks! Buy my retroclone! Holy shit the guy comes off as a cross between Alexi and some other sadistic “reality” obsessed DM who looses players because he gets off killing characters.

  3. FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
    November 8, 2014 5:54 pm

    Putting two and two together with my FBI brain:

    2. The homuncule known as Zak S. is not just tiny but has a small head in proportion to his tiny ass body.

    2. The 9/10 game designer known as ‘Nine Out Of Ten RPGPundit’ sports a long mustache and is an impulsive glue-sniffer.

    Since homuncule is derived from homunsecule I deduce from the photo above that the Nine Out Of Ten RPGPundit had, one moment before it was taken, kissed Zak S. on his bald head.

    2+2. Nine Out Of Ten RPGPundit no longer has a mustache.

  4. bloodymage permalink
    November 8, 2014 6:21 pm

    Got my dog and then I tried to find a PETCO. Still hate Dallas. There’s so much here and I’m no longer a party animal. Couldn’t find stinkin’ PETCO. I curse the day my son brought me here.

    • FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN permalink
      November 9, 2014 6:30 am

      Wait I’m confused. Is Blooey trying to check himself into a PETCO?

    • Elminster Crowley permalink
      November 11, 2014 6:58 pm

      Next time I’m in Dallas I’ll keep an eye out for a wretched bum holding a “Will Game for Food” sign and mumbling to himself.

  5. BEASTMAN BYAKHEE permalink
    November 9, 2014 6:54 am


    Click to access CDD%234%20-%20ENCOUNTERS%20Reference.pdf





    • bloodymage permalink
      November 9, 2014 7:18 am

      An aside: whoever invented Styrofoam should be shot! 😡

  6. November 9, 2014 1:36 pm

    Someone should tell Venger to create a Cthulhu activity book for the kids down in Florida.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 9, 2014 7:16 pm

      Unfortunately (fortunately?), Venger has a long internet trail, so someone just has to show that green slime on naked pregnant chick video the Orlando school board (please Lord let it be me!) and they have their Get Out of Crazy For Free card.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 9, 2014 7:17 pm

        …TO the Orlando School Board…

      • November 14, 2014 7:51 pm

        That’s a project for 2016. Cthulhu, fantasy roleplaying, Satan, all that good stuff…

      • Elminster Crowley permalink
        November 18, 2014 6:07 pm

        I have a question – Where does your fantasy end and your reality begin?

    • Elminster Crowley permalink
      November 11, 2014 6:48 pm

      Send it to the Department of Education, they’ll make it a mandatory part of the CommonCore curriculum.

  7. PrinceofNothing permalink
    November 9, 2014 2:18 pm

    Guess those sweet hasbro consultancy dollars are running out, ey Jon? Do not despair. We will be there to read every single last syllable of the miserable content-starved crime against the written word you eagerly display to be pelted with faeces. We will be there to watch your blog bleed its life out into the hot sand. We will be there to cavort midst’ the carrion, giggling and hooting merrily with each prancing leap. And when your blog dies and you are forgotten, for such is the fate of mediocrity, we will make polyhedrons of the ashes.


    • November 9, 2014 5:05 pm

      That’s just sad. If we raised $1200 could we get him to bury Dark Albion forever? Is that how little he sees the pay-to-download PDF bringing in now? Arrows of Indra was $10 before RPGNow unceremoniously pulled it (!?!) so was he only expecting to move 120 copies?

      Also sick burn on Zak at the end of that one. #nohonouramongconsultants #withkelvingreenart

    • bloodymage permalink
      November 9, 2014 6:52 pm

      I’ll be fine come December 1st when my disabilty payments show up, but I’m in a serious pickle until the end of the month. I need money for food and gas and PETCO. I’ve depended on them before and I still do, but the monetary aspect has been played out. I don’t want to jepordize our relationships by asking for more.

      So I come to you on my knees. I’m requesting a donation, small or sizeable from all who read this to be sent to Steve Willett, General Delivery, Irving, TX. I’m further requesting cash or money orders, no personal checks. My debit VISA card was compromised just before I left so I only have one ID at the moment. It takes two to cash a check.


      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 9, 2014 8:22 pm

        Death to All PCs (Paying by Check)!

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      November 9, 2014 7:00 pm

      Wow, bloobot is right – Tarnowski sounds as pathetic as bloodymage. If I am going to donate to one of them, it sure as hell-runes won’t be the NKVDPundit.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 9, 2014 7:07 pm

        Bloo Bot 2.0 clearly has been programmed for performance art.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 10, 2014 1:20 pm

        Is their a memorial fund for the victims of Breivik’s rampage that we could donate to in lieu of funding Taintowksi?

  8. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    November 9, 2014 7:03 pm

    Meet Aya Ruane. This is my new favorite G+ gamer. Not only will Aya run a game of 4e D&D for you for $5, she (he? it?) will teach new trannies how to talk like a girl courtesy of Aya also thinks Lil’ Wayne might be the devil trying to pervert our minds from the holy debauchery that will free our sexual tensions through rigorous fornication! And XBOX hackers look out! Aya thinks you are a “fucking retard i hope you get suicide bombed mother fucker!”

    Heads up, Zak S. Aya Ruane is also working on a psychotic Alice in Wonderland RPG called Formerly Wonderland, so it looks like you are going to have some serious competition!

    • BEASTMAN BYAKHEE permalink
      November 9, 2014 7:14 pm


      “This is the cave map depicted in the Dungeons & Dragons Basic Set of 1983.
      For millions of new players, this was their First D&D Adventure.

      The creator of the famous Red Box rules, Frank Mentzer, will draw this dungeon map by hand, using pencil and ink.
      And it’ll also have an additional unpublished section (with brief notes) created especially for you, the winning buyer.

      This classic map will be drawn on standard graph paper, and carefully protected against the ravages of snailmail.
      And it will be personalized with an inscription to you, signed by Frank.

      Please note: This offer may appear more than once. If so, every map will be different, and each will be personally drawn and inscribed, as above.”




      • Radovarl permalink
        November 10, 2014 12:58 pm

        Wow, I guess Frank is no longer the Acaeum’s kept man, if he needs to branch out into the one-of-a-kind collectibles “market”. What kind of idiot (idiots, I guess, with 37 bids) buys something like for five hundred bucks? It’s a fucking piece of graph paper scribbled on by a fatbeard.

        I predict that “#2” will go for $150, and after that they’ll sell for $50 a pop. Jesus, at the very least he could dredge up a used copy of the red box to include with the map.

    • bloodymage permalink
      November 10, 2014 8:30 am

      I will run a game of Train in a Cup for you by way of I can’t seem to get my webcam working on this infernal machine so this will be audio only (if I can get Skype working in Windows 3.1). I still need someone to reinstall and uninstall Ubuntu so I can get Windows Me back and open my Micrapsoft Write files and copy them into Scribus (if I can ever learn this program I’m wearing all the hats in this endeavor and technology is not one of my strong suits!), then uninstall that and restore Windows 98. I will also need a smaller writing desk and a new receiver, 500 lbs of dog food from PETCO, and rent for the next two months. So please add $1000 to the $5 by way of cash or money order (NO PERSONAL CHECKS!) I curse the day my weirdo son dumped me here I really do. I’m having a hard time just staying clean.

    • Jack permalink
      November 10, 2014 5:37 pm

      Check out the preview of their “erotic short stories” on Amazon. You’ll be pleasantly surprised…well, if you like stories about a dude getting out of the shower and raping his sleeping girlfriend or whatever.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 11, 2014 5:53 am

        Somebody needs to point Aya out to the Tranny Brigade at Big Purple Dildo so they can set “her” straight before somebody realizes that “lesbian” trannies like Aya are the reason trannies with their junk still attached shouldn’t be allowed in women’s restrooms.

    • Elminster Crowley permalink
      November 11, 2014 6:53 pm

      You really shouldn’t be that surprised about the amount of tranny gamers, after all their entire lives are nothing but a big game of make-believe.

  9. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    November 10, 2014 8:26 am

    And…Pussy Gods claims another victim.

    That’s right, Gorgoncum talked big and bad but he couldn’t handle it. So now some other fag is taking over:

    It is funny – in the comments, one of the assisstants working closely with Gorgy says he was blindsided by this. And Craven Blowking shows up demnding that some stupid magic items he cut-an-pasted be tossed in a book on dieties, and he will offer pdf bookmarking for free.

    This dude says it will be out in a couple of months…HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA…he even shows some “layout”….HAHAHHAHAHA

    • November 10, 2014 1:38 pm

      Could a fan of this project explain how it acquired a food section under Gorgonmilk’s regime? Is a backhanded tribute to the “types of cloth you will find in this dungeon” pages in Dwimmermount? Genuinely flummoxed.

  10. FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
    November 10, 2014 2:13 pm

    Fuck feminists right up their stinky assholes, stupid feminists.

    Feminists and Trannies are smarter than gamers.

    Gamers are smarter than dead worms.

    • FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
      November 10, 2014 2:17 pm

      Dead worms’ vaginas are smarter than mustachio headed Zak S and his mustachioless FAG-GAMER 9/10 RPGPundit. Both were sane until their 36th month.

    • Mjollnir permalink
      November 10, 2014 9:54 pm

      Here’s your daily lesson of Enlightenment and Progress

      • FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
        November 11, 2014 1:52 pm

        If I was eating somewhere and she pulled that child-stunt I would have rammed some grilled Snow in her mouth and in her stupid cunt.

        Crying doesn’t demonstrate sensitivity, it proves you stopped maturing aged four.

        Women are stupid cunts and they have stupid cunts in their vaginas.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 11, 2014 8:13 pm

        Get a room, you self-loathing gay fascists.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 11, 2014 5:56 am

      Just once I’d like to go into a nice pro-feminist thread over at RPGNet and not have it hijacked by trannies rights by the third or fourth post. Trannies are Internet bullies. “What About the Trannies?” is the new “What About the Men?”.

  11. FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
    November 10, 2014 3:13 pm

    The smell of a whore’s pussy is EXACTLY the smell of Zak S. head with 9/10 Pundit’s mustache glued to it ON ONE SIDE.

  12. FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
    November 10, 2014 3:44 pm

    The stink from a gamer’s crotch, ass clamped to a chair for six hours, is NOTHING compared the stench of an unwashable woman’s vagina –– dirty beasts.

  13. FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
    November 10, 2014 3:51 pm

    What is worse? the poisonous drip from the asshole of YDISregular OR his sober thoughts?

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      November 10, 2014 5:46 pm

      Hi Kent!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 10, 2014 8:46 pm


    • Von permalink
      November 20, 2014 10:53 pm

      Stop pretending you recognise sobriety when you see it.

  14. forgot my alcoholic-to-English translator permalink
    November 10, 2014 3:59 pm

    Whoa, shit’s poppin’ off!

  15. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    November 10, 2014 4:19 pm

    From your intrepid agent in the field:

    This weekend I saw, live and in person, Vengar Satanis running a game at a convention in Madison. At the very instant I surprisingly laid eyes upon his devilishly handsome visage, for the briefest of moments I felt as giddy as a schoolgirl. I share this with YDIS and no one else.

    I am not really sure he was actually GM-ing and not just playing. The people at the table were hanging on his every word in rapt attention, but maybe people do that everywhere he goes anyway.

    I have to see if I can sign up for a game with this guy next time around.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      November 10, 2014 6:40 pm

      Found it:

      The Islands of Purple-Haunted Putrescence, D&D 5th.

      “This will be my latest published book (due this summer): a sandbox hex crawl campaign guide. Adventurers will be travelling upon the weird sci-fantasy and occasionally gonzo purple islands.” …blah, blah… “Anything can happen!” …etc, etc…”Expect awesome!”

      1 of 8 seats left! Dude, I could have played with Venger!

      • November 14, 2014 7:55 pm

        There’s always next year, hoss. I’ll keep my autograph marker (both green AND purple!) handy.

      • November 15, 2014 8:36 am

        I hope “autograph marker” isn’t a euphemism.

      • Von permalink
        November 20, 2014 10:54 pm

        It’s “green AND purple” that I’d be worried about.

  16. FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
    November 10, 2014 7:43 pm

    “The people at the table were hanging on his every word in rapt attention, but maybe people do that everywhere he goes anyway.”

    I can guarantee that had I hung on every word of such a cunt as an american gamer-DM I had made him cry with loathing soon after.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 10, 2014 8:39 pm

      Fear not, Kent, we’re already crying with loathing, if by crying, you mean laughing.

      Now what precipitated your disturbing yet pathetic cri du cul about women? Should we alert the Gardai?

  17. FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
    November 10, 2014 7:53 pm

    Let me put it this way: even all inaccurate measures of american gamer stupidity allow one to conclude that contemptuous displays of criticism of americans are … FROM HEAVEN.

    US OSR gamers such as Zak S and 9/10 Pundit are as clever as an unwashed CUNT is wholesome … that is, they are much smarter than YDIS scrotum scum.

    • BEASTMAN BYAKHEE permalink
      November 10, 2014 8:35 pm



      • Aos permalink
        November 13, 2014 9:19 am

        I though the Pundit was Canadian.

  18. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 10, 2014 10:07 pm

    Looks like Brandoch Durr Hurr pulled his blog again.

    Whatta maroon! I think he’s jealous of Zak and Pundit.

  19. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    November 11, 2014 5:45 am

    I’ll just leave this here (for Perilous Derp fans):

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      November 11, 2014 6:43 am

      “But it is not relative, just like the truth about many things (that we can not discuss on this forum) are not relative. There are many things that are black and white absolutes about which there can be no compromise, not everyone is able to accept this fundamental truth. ”

      We are not discussing freedom, nor dignity, nor the Constitution, but…elfgames.

      The Perilous Derp is beautiful, the bfightest star in the contellation of blOwS haRds.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        November 11, 2014 1:18 pm

        I looked at DF over the weekend and saw that around a dozen of Perilous Dreamers posts were on the first page alone, and 5 of them were in a row! Another gametard without gainful employment no doubt. Chalk another one up to Obama’s America.

        Also at one point looked at DF again and saw that several threads, all started by PD or at least had his heavy involvement in the conversation, were temp locked for review. The thing was nothing seemed blatantly aggressive in the comments that I could tell. Clearly the mods are catching on to the general snarky nature of creepos like PD who are posting just to declare some kind of weird superiority.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 11, 2014 1:57 pm

        Yes, it’s Obama’s fault these social retards are permanently unemployable, not their personalities or unwashed bodies or poorly wiped butt cracks or putting “Dungeon Master” on their resumes or anything.

      • BEASTMAN BYAKHEE permalink
        November 12, 2014 3:51 pm




    • November 11, 2014 7:06 am

      “There are many things that are black and white absolutes about which there can be no compromise, not everyone is able to accept this fundamental truth.”

      Damn, it’s like he’s DF’s very own Rorschach.

  20. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 11, 2014 10:40 am

    Speaking of “Dark Albion”, Mjollnir’s dad beat Taintowski to the punch:

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 11, 2014 10:58 am

      LOL! Sorry, but it’s hard to feel sorry for the English who conquered over 75% of the surface of the earth and had no problem when they were the ones destroying other cultures.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 11, 2014 11:19 am

        That’s how I feel, especially since their “divide and conquer” strategy is what led to so much of the Third World being so fucked up.

        I feel similarly about Latino immigration into the U.S. It’s the ultimate fruit of manifest destiny, and those Messicans are related to the Utes and Apaches that were marginalized. I’d much rather have latino neighbors than redneck ones. Yo puedo hablar la lengua y me encantan las mujeres del mundo Hispano. Plus, I’ve heard real charming tales from my parents from the time my dad was stationed on a base in the ass end of Georgia, fuck those neo-confederates with a nice-auger.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 11, 2014 1:55 pm

        I think we should give Texas, Arizona, and the whole Southwest back to Mexico. It was stolen from them in the first place.

        And Tea Party whites should move back to England and Europe where they came from. See how those Dark Albion English like having fat, smelly, inbred immigrants instead.

      • justme permalink
        November 11, 2014 5:59 pm

        The UK has plenty of inbred smelly immigrants from all over its former empire and europe.

      • Mjollnir permalink
        November 11, 2014 6:33 pm

        Unblown and Dong-Expert – Once you’re finished with your anti-White circle jerk maybe the two of you can decide if brown immigrants “Enrich” White countries or are punishment for the “sins” of Colonialism or whatever, because it really can’t be both.

        BTW – If the mestizos succeed in transforming the Southwest into North Mexico, how long until they feel the need to “seek a better life” by immigrating to ANOTHER country where their “hard work and vibrant culture” haven’t yet turned the place into another third world shithole?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 11, 2014 6:46 pm

        Mjolnir you really are an adorable little racist Neo-Nazi skinhead load his mother should have swallowed and all, but do please be quiet now. Adults are talking.

      • FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
        November 11, 2014 8:07 pm

        “Unblown and Dong-Expert – Once you’re finished with your anti-White circle jerk”

        Haaa Haaaaaa !!!!

      • FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
        November 11, 2014 8:12 pm

        Mjollnir is amazing !

  21. blOwSR Today permalink
    November 11, 2014 11:05 am

    This one’s for you, FotU:

    Tranny Tells

    Roll 1d6
    1. Man Hands
    2. Five-o-Clock Shadow
    3. Deep Voice
    4. Crotch Bulge
    5-6. Adam’s Apple

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 11, 2014 11:33 am

      7-8. Math degrees from undistinguished Irish community colleges.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 11, 2014 2:01 pm

        9-10. Obsessive Map Hex Counting

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 11, 2014 1:51 pm

      I’m going to need this on a shower curtain or a pair of flip flops.

  22. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 11, 2014 4:30 pm

    11-12. over exaggerate/outright lie about how you “earn a living”/”make money” (having sex, creating “art”).

  23. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 11, 2014 4:37 pm

    In looking at some of the credits listed in the OP, I’m actually shocked to see Satine Phoenix has indeed actually done bigger films than I once thought. I thought they were just S&M stuff with her tied up and taking a beating, but they are not as underground as I thought. I mean, sure, there’s lots of rim-jobbing, “Mandingo” gang bangs, and spitting along with the getting smacked around, but they seem like fairly big productions. Still, I watch my fair share of wacky wacking material online, and I never heard of the bitch until around 3 years ago via this site. Hopefully when Zak starts up Hit it with My Jizz again, he can find a replacement “star” of at least her proportions to be involved. Last we heard she was wondering aloud “porn was fun, but what will the children think?” then dropped off the face of the earth.

    • FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
      November 11, 2014 6:56 pm

      No one gives a shit what porn you like you mother’s pus licking retard.

  24. BEASTMAN BYAKHEE permalink
    November 11, 2014 5:26 pm



    P.S. – TAHT ASS!!!1

  25. The Pundit is not Gay permalink
    November 11, 2014 6:30 pm

    The Pundit asks “Is it gay?”

    • November 11, 2014 6:40 pm

      This seems like one of those questions where, “Asking for a friend…” should be added hastily to the end.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 11, 2014 6:48 pm

      Hey Mearls! I found that proof you were asking for!

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      November 12, 2014 1:32 am

      Heh. I guess the Pundit took a gender sensisitivity class between then and now. That or there is a bunch of gay guys with one of them men in black mind-erase thingies running around.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        November 12, 2014 1:51 am

        Ah las, the tread continues not with some Pundit style historical revisionism but a discussion of gay. Does Pundit never hang out with one of his friends by himself? By his defenition, how is gaming with another dude any less gay then bro-ing down, talking and having a beer?

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        November 12, 2014 4:06 am

        A few pages in and it becomes easier on the eyes. People pile up to tell Tarnowski he is an idiot and a hypocrite, Tarnowski reacts in a predictably Idiotic and hypocritical fashion. Classic.

    • justme permalink
      November 14, 2014 5:16 am

      WTF? Is it gay? Only if you can’t get knob slobbering and pillow biting out of your head when playing elf and dragon games.

  26. FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
    November 11, 2014 8:11 pm

    If scabs could fuck they would produce … let me put it this way … since scabs CAN fuck, with their flaking dried pus babies they have provided YDIS with commenters !!

    Haa Haaaaaaaaaaa !!

  27. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 11, 2014 8:20 pm

    This thread is pure comedy gold. First we have Kent insisting that he’s not a fag, he just finds vulvas repulsive, then we have a Kent/Mjollnir love fest. Mjollnir is going to safeguard his Aryan sperm from the menace of Third World harpies by dribbling it into Kent’s saggy white ass.


  28. FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
    November 11, 2014 8:35 pm

    Niggers and Mexicans and Women make sick and need to die NOW because they offend me and offense PROVES guilt.

    Niggers and Jews are no longer amusing and must be ELIMINATED along with stinky cunt feminists.

    Haa Haaaaa !!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 11, 2014 8:46 pm

      You lose your job, Durr Hurr? You’re more hag-ridden than usual.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 11, 2014 9:37 pm

      Kent and Mjollnir – GET A ROOM!

      #DoingGay #GayNazis #DrunkIrishFags

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 11, 2014 10:18 pm

        Kent and Mjollnir put the SS in assfuckers.


      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 12, 2014 11:27 am

  29. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 11, 2014 8:45 pm

    Blooey prices his leaky printer like he prices his suckdungeons:

    I don’t know anything about it, but just copying and pasting that printer name into google shows it’s sold brand new online for $260-$309, so it’s not really a ‘firesale’ price.

    Bloo was asking for $250.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 11, 2014 9:42 pm

      I’m starting to think Blooey is a scam artist and the bumbling dumb fuck routine is just an act. He knows exactly what he’s doing when he begs for money or asks people to put $1,000 up front to work for him. For Christ’s sake he wants $20 bucks for a 19 page PDF! Fortunately, he’s not very good at scamming. Then again, the blOwSR is an easy target.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 11, 2014 10:16 pm

        He’s a scam artist, to be sure, but the bumbling dumb fuck routine is all too real. If he weren’t a dumb fuck, he wouldn’t be such a transparent grifter.

        I’d still trust him before I trusted Taintowski, though.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      November 11, 2014 9:51 pm

      Does it include a dungeon map, drawn by hand, using pencil and ink by the creator of the famous Fantasy Business Place Names supplement? Will there be an additional unpublished section (with brief notes) created especially for me? Will it be personalized by an inscription to me, signed by Blooeymage?

      I think he means the bidding begins at $250.

  30. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 12, 2014 12:04 am

    It’s funny because it’s true:

  31. bloodymage permalink
    November 12, 2014 11:32 am

    Joey and I are going for our first session tomorrow. I’ve been busting my butt trying to fit in this place, but help is hard to find. Joey’s foster Dad took me to a cafe today and helped a bit on furniture. Still no buyers for my excess. My new pastor supposed to email mail me, just gonna get the stuff hauled away. Just was pokin’ around lookin’ for replacement hearing aids though I don’t like what I hear most of the time anyway. Doctor’s appt. Thursday, maybe I can get my meds. Derm on the 16th.

    Life has gotten hella expensive!

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      November 12, 2014 12:45 pm

      Wow, the more you learn about Blooey the more questions pop in your mind. Things got so bad with him and the former Mrs. Bloo that the kid actually had to get put in Foster care? Does kind of answer why Blooeyson doesn’t give a kobolds cunt about helping him. Plus, he’s a churchie? Or maybe he just joined up to get help hauling his trash out? Hearing aids? Skin problems? It just goes on and on with our boy Bloo….

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 12, 2014 1:45 pm

        I wasn’t sure If Joey was his kid (bloodyson? weirdo son?) or the name of his new dog….

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 12, 2014 3:53 pm

        Wait, now it all makes sense!

  32. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 12, 2014 11:59 am

    Here’s video footage of Mjollnir:


    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 12, 2014 1:44 pm

      Damn, crazy sure comes in all colors, don’t it? He sounds exactly like Mjollnir in blackface! Drow cosplay maybe?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 12, 2014 2:05 pm

        It’s gotta be him:


      • Mjollnir permalink
        November 15, 2014 10:01 am

        I’m way more good-looking, and by good-looking I mean White. But it’s good to know you’re always thinking of me Dong Expert.

      • American Gamer Cunts Are Cunts permalink
        November 15, 2014 11:26 am

        Haaaaaa Haaaaaaaaa!

        No doubt you are handsomer than that rubbish Negro. Have you got any tattoos? I am picturing you with your arms inked with iron crosses and skulls. You must strike fear into the hearts of the local Jewry.

        Haaaa Haaaaaaaa! Hebrews beware!

      • American Gamer Cunts Are Cunts permalink
        November 15, 2014 1:42 pm

        Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaas!

        Doubtless you are handsomer than that rubbish Negro. Have you got any tattoos? I’m picturing you with your arms inked up with skulls in Viking helmets and iron crosses. You must fill the hearts of the local Jewry with dread.

        Haaaaaaa! Haaaa!! Hebrews beware!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 12, 2014 1:47 pm

      And he gots his PhD – HIS PIMPIN’ HOES DEGREE!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 12, 2014 2:00 pm

        The best part is that he got it from an unaccredited “theological seminary” that he founded himself.

        I bet that’s how Kent (5×6=60) got his math degree.

    • November 12, 2014 3:15 pm

      “So my question is, where they gettin’ all this semen from?!?” Haven’t we all asked that, of someone, at one time or another?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 12, 2014 3:39 pm

        Kent must’ve puked on your floor again.

  33. Tenser's Flogging Dicks permalink
    November 12, 2014 1:06 pm

    In other news, when did James Maliszewski slink back into the blogosphere?

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 12, 2014 1:37 pm

      He popped up there about a year after he abandoned his blog and his suck dungeon. I think he mainly does cut-and-paste jobs culled from the blog.

      • Tenser's Flogging Dicks permalink
        November 13, 2014 11:04 am

        Maybe it’s for the best.

  34. FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
    November 12, 2014 3:27 pm

    Fact –– 1% of the extras on The Walking Dead need no wardrobe or make-up. That’s you guys, disgusting retards.

  35. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    November 12, 2014 3:57 pm

    • November 12, 2014 4:44 pm

      Kent wants us to believe that it’s booze that makes him an asshole, but I refuse to believe it, dude’s just an asshole, straight up.


    • Mjollnir permalink
      November 17, 2014 5:47 pm

      Dong Expert wants us to think that HIS collection of gay porn makes ME the queer, but I refuse to believe it, dude’s just a fag.


      • American Gamer Cunts Are Gamers permalink
        November 17, 2014 10:29 pm

        Ha Ha, Mjollnir. I can see you now, wearing tight dungarees and a plain white T- shirt while you put your boot on that braying jackass’ swarthy face. HA! Do you keep a cigarette tucked behind your ear?

        I hope you don’t have a garbage cunt moron shaved head like so many American cunt boys. You should be a tougher version of James Dean, not a Zak cunt shaved moron.

      • Mjollnir permalink
        November 18, 2014 6:18 am

        Free gay images
        prince charles gay lindsey graham gay gay swimwear jim carrey gay gay phone numbers

    • Mjollnir permalink
      November 17, 2014 8:32 pm

      Coarse shemales
      free she mal chicks with dicks hard core free video oorn free she mail movie

      • Mjollnir permalink
        November 18, 2014 2:42 pm

        Ohh nooes! It looks like a queer figured out how to type in my username into the “Name” field on the comments.

        November 18, 2014 – It appears as though the homosexual subjects are learning the rudiments of web-browsing and posting. If progress continues at this rate they may begin typing entire sentences by 2016. End entry.

  36. FBI It's on my Jacket Cunt permalink
    November 12, 2014 6:38 pm

    Santa’s List of Christmas Eve Suicides:

    Bigby’s Lubed Fist

    • November 12, 2014 6:59 pm

      Now, now you poor, wee gossoon, you’re projecting again. I’m not the one rage quitting his blog and typing out incoherent rants against female genitalia on a gaming snark blog.

      Do seek help, El Kunto, I’d hate to see the planet robbed of your unintentional comedy stylings. Maybe you can perform under the name Doug Sanshope.

  37. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 12, 2014 7:57 pm

    Heh. “Doug Sanshope.” Kuntington is about as funny as that lame Man Show killer.

    And on the subject of the ‘nets unfunniest troll – what the fuck happened to the podcasts? Oh, another failed attempt to add to the gaming zeitgeist? I thought I heard another sad trombone sound. So many in the blOwSR they are starting to meld into one long sour note.

  38. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    November 13, 2014 6:33 am

    So the fuckers at Frog God Games liscensed their “Tome of Horrors” name to Center Stage Miniatures for some Kickstarters – which have totally failed. Here is the update where the CSM guy kinda says the money from both Kickstarters (plus an earlier one which is incomplete) is all gone:

    Be sure to check out the comments below this update, as one backer who was trying to take over the project clashes with Matt Finch, rep of FGG.

    Interesting fact comes out – FGG got their $14,000 liscence fee, while all the backers got nothing. And the backers are mostly cool with this, in typical Kickstarter/gamer/OSR Stockholm fashion.

    Finch admits they made a mistake in partnering with CSM, but still absolves himself and the FGG company of ANY reponsibility. And they are definitely holding on to the $14,000 of backers’ money, because that is how FGG rolls, bitches.

    Also be sure to check out the main KS comments page, where one poster last night says any partial fulfillment is a “tax on the rich” because 20% of a $20 pledge is nothing compared to the %20 of a $1,000 pledge – so any such deal should be torpedoed. If the upper level backers do not get ALL of theirs, then the plebes get NOTHING.

    And, typical of the drones, they all agree.

    Great reading.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 13, 2014 8:11 am

      Can’t Finch just copy and paste some miniatures thanks to the OGL?

    • November 13, 2014 8:20 am

      That’s not a tax on the rich, that’s a tax on the gullible.

      Good on FGG for sticking to their guns, anyone with a lick of sense had better get the bucks up front from these hobbyists at best, grifters at worst.

    • justme permalink
      November 14, 2014 6:33 am

      Why wouldn’t FFG keep the licensing fee? It’s what the lickstarter was markeing to get anyone’S attention.
      The KSers were probably surprised folks like to be paid for services they provide and hadn’t planned for that, production, storage, shipping, packaging,and maintaining inventory all cost money.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 15, 2014 12:21 am

        The real question is, why would anyone pay such a high licensing fee to a company most noted for cut-and-paste jobs? Aren’t most of the represented monsters considered open content? Would any FGG exclusives warrant such a high fee?

        WTF, OSR?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 15, 2014 9:13 am

        Yes, it was extremely stupid to pay out that much money to FGG to license what amounts to monsters already available via the OGL thanks to WotC allowing the then Necromancer Games to use old Fiend Folio monsters in a book back in the early days of d20. If they were paying out just to use “Tome of Horrors” trademark, they were ripped off even more. That’s just idiocy.

        This is what is known as a clue – a clue that these dumb fucks don’t know what they are doing and giving money to their Kickstarter makes you a dumb fuck too.

        FFG is legally within their rights to keep that money though. But they look like assholes now so I just hope $14,000 was enough for them, because they’ve burned all their bridges with most of their fans now.

  39. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 13, 2014 12:00 pm

    I guess I don’t understand any of this shit. They got around 7 or 8 times more than they were originally looking for, and they still can’t git ‘er done?

    I’m thinking the guys in the comments who go “aw, no worries mate” are the guys who just donated a dollar to get their names on a website. That should be easy to fulfill. But it would be funny if they asked for another buck to help defray web hosting costs for that.

    • Nunya.Bidness permalink
      November 13, 2014 2:08 pm





  40. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 13, 2014 2:17 pm

    “Pay in advance for some product you may or may not (probably not) get some time in the future! Help me keep the lights on before I exit this world!”

    The dumbfucks of gaming look like a bunch of retards trying to gang fuck a doorknob when they fall over each other to throw the rent and and milk money at anybody with a crowd funding project. But the promise of egg-based foodstuffs in the hospitality suite and TPK based game play could not lure them in to help out with the defunct Blooeycon. There is no justice, there is just us.

  41. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    November 13, 2014 5:16 pm

    Forget the minis. They should partner with Blooey and see if they can jimmy up some of his Western Tokens to work.

    Buy some product!

  42. Nunya.Bidness permalink
    November 13, 2014 5:33 pm




    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 13, 2014 8:53 pm

      No need to out Kent, he’s a miserable fuck as it is, no need to publicly shame him. If he lets his fuckery spill over into meatspace, he’ll face censure. For now, just set up a Google alert, and if any girls in pink socks go missing, alert the Gardai.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      November 14, 2014 6:57 am

      Actually, Nunya, kent has been unmasked a couple of times over the years here, usually when he tries to out YDIS. We all know what his name is, and no one gives a shit anymore about some lonely shit-ass Columbo fan on the edge of a peat bog telling the world through his sticky keyboard how discerning his tatses are.

      But, as BLF says, keep it handy against any missing pink-socked lasses.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 14, 2014 7:33 am

      This is old news. His real name is Paul Barry. He entered the One Page Dungeon contest in 2009 with an entry called “I was a King Here Once” by Kent. Unsurprisingly, it received no awards or even an honorary mention.

      YDIS scholars might point to this suckdungeon entry as the start of Kent’s downward spiral and “career” of mediocrity and failure, the original rejection by his “peers” that created the bitter and talentless Irish drunk we see here today. I’m too busy with all things Blooey to care for such a minor footnote in the blOwSR turdosphere.

      • justme permalink
        November 14, 2014 8:45 am

        Crap, I just realized I didn’t get a prize or honorable mention for doing something I would have likely done anyway. The injustice of it all!

      • November 14, 2014 12:25 pm

        Had to google “dubcon” — was not disappointed!

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        November 14, 2014 10:33 am

        God damn it, BLF, I just went down that fucked up rabbit hole. I thought the whole dinosaur-chick erotica thing was weird, but that doesn’t have shit on Hunter Fox’s Gay Forced Cyclops Gangbang.

        The only cool thing is that billionaire T-rex on the cover is named “Oscar Anderson.”

        I wonder how long until we see Gay Nest-egg Stealing Raptor named John Adams…

        Or Forced into Bastardy by the Stegosaurus…

      • Nunya.Bidness permalink
        November 14, 2014 1:14 pm



      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 14, 2014 1:41 pm

        Is there a way to trick a fatbeard into hosting a “Dubcon”, a “Dungeon Underworld Bash” convention, if you will? The resultant torrent of outrage would be mind-boggling. Maybe Geoffrey could run a Carcosa adventure.

      • November 14, 2014 4:19 pm

        Damn it, how long do we have to wait for otyugh erotica?!? Do I have to write it myself?!?

        (I’m asking for a friend.)

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 14, 2014 4:31 pm

        Does “Eat Da Poo Poo” count?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 14, 2014 4:37 pm

        Kent has the human RIGHT to EAT DA POO POO!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 14, 2014 6:33 pm

        Damn, that puts a somewhat sinister spin on Kent’s idiotic “Affryq” PbP at Fin’s place. If Kent hadn’t’ve been banned, the party would have proceeded blindly into fantasy Uganda for a TPK (Total Poop… Uh… Kalamty) to satisfy Kent’s unholy scat fetish.

        Too bad everybody hates Kent, Raggi would have made money off the same premise.

  43. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    November 14, 2014 7:31 am

    Braeking Fucking News:

    The NKVDPundit has finalized his rpg excellence award. All you need to do to win it is…put the shitty logo on the cover of your shitty product.

    You really let us down, Recovering Retard. That could be YOUR artwork about to grace two or three covers.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 14, 2014 7:41 am

      RPG”Is it Gay?”Pundit John Tarnowski is still so very bitter at those nasty ENnies for overlooking his self-supposed genius.

    • justme permalink
      November 14, 2014 8:56 am

      What a bitter little turd RPGpud is. Was he thinking ” Whaa I didn’t win an award so I’ll make all rewards as irrelevant as my forum with this witty bit of flatulence.” ?
      I’m waiting for his insights on such subjects as chess or posting selfies of solo twister games being homo erotic.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        November 14, 2014 9:20 am

        “posting selfies of solo twister games being homo erotic.”

        Um…is this true? Asking for a friend.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      November 14, 2014 9:19 am

      Why not go a little further and ‘Pundit-ize’ your site’s reviewing system. Turn em all into nines, reviews to be done by the authors of said products only. Haha just kidding only the most pathetic human being in the universe would review and grade his own products and give them all nines.

      Again, stating a premise as a conclusion. Too bad so sad, guess those humanities courses didn’t pay off after all. But at least he has proven that he doesn’t need a degree to gain financial independence. It is, after all, not like he has to beg people to donate to his blog.

      *Sneering and derisive laughter, followed by illegally downloading and then deleting Arrows of Indra*

    • Nunya.Bidness permalink
      November 14, 2014 1:20 pm




  44. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 16, 2014 11:04 am

    For a brief moment, I was dismayed that Blooey’s moving woes knocked off the front page, but Blooey’s back:

    Since none of the mods is stepping to lock it as OT, they should make it a sticky thread. It’s more interesting than a Q&A with Tracy Hickman.

    • bloodymage permalink
      November 16, 2014 11:59 am

      The saga continues. Still stuffed to the walls. Gotta tend to my clothes right now.

      • bloodymage permalink
        November 16, 2014 12:02 pm

      • bloodymage permalink
        November 16, 2014 12:03 pm

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        November 16, 2014 5:57 pm

        “The saga continues. Still stuffed to the walls. Gotta tend to my clothes right now.”

        Really, just when we thought his best works were now years gone past, Blooey has managed to reinvent himself with minimalist, almost Zippy the Pinhead-ish sound bites.

        Really Blooey, those grizzled man-children at DF don’t give a fuck about you, but for us on the other side of those tracks you are goddamn right “the saga continues.” God bless you, Steve W.

  45. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 16, 2014 11:14 pm

    Alright, now, Blooey’s gone full-on Dada:

    Planes, trains and automobiles, broke and broken, still no damn help.

    What the fuck does that even mean?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 17, 2014 7:11 am

      Maybe Blooey is on the convention circuit again? Can somebody swing by Irving TX and pick him up on their way to SnowCon in Maine?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 17, 2014 7:28 am

        The SnowCon organizers should fly him in and pay him eight grand to run “The Stink in Golonda”. They can bill it as “snow and stink”.

        Whoa, wasn’t “Snow and Stink” a ‘Maiden tune?

      • November 17, 2014 7:33 am

        You ran your first game at 13
        Killer DM, gamer supreme
        By 16 you had a TPK
        Death to all PCs is your way.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        November 17, 2014 8:33 am

        You’ll take my dice
        But I’ll take yours too
        Eat your Triscuts
        And sleep in the loo
        So while you’re waiting for the dog attack
        You better sell your computer stack

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        November 17, 2014 8:57 am

        A basalt nursery home with 13 levels and multiple entrances and exits,
        A cracked monitor screen displaying stats for umber hulks overlaying accounts of american soldiers captured by Vietcong insurgents.
        The Vorpal sword is located in a van on a parking lot guarded by burning, naked children whose cries can only be heard if you take your medicine blooey take your medicine take your medicine COMPANY LEADER CALLING RAVEN take your medicine AND WE WILL MAKE THOSE CHINKS EXIT THIS WORLD take your medicine EAT PEE CRAP KILL REPEAT take your medicine.
        You can exit this world only by defeating its guardian, an ancient dragon composed of lurid, green glowing russian spambot code englobing a frame made of dog bones.
        Golanda is everywhere and nowhere, an ephermal neverland of white-washed hallways smelling of antiseptic, a digital jungle smelling of decay and wet dog populated by a thousand webstores that never sell anything.
        A light flickers but no one will buy something to keep it on.

      • November 17, 2014 9:16 am

        Damn, PoN, you need to expand that into a novel: Blooromancer.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        November 18, 2014 7:52 am

        I, Bloobot? Bloo Crash? The Bloobage Engine? Shooting fish in a barrel. Considering reviewing Tarnowski’s Arrows of Indra. Are there chuckles to be had or do i have to make my own fun? Can i post that shit here, don’t want a blog/publish a novel.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        November 18, 2014 8:43 am

        Prince, I would love to read your review of Arrows! Please post it here!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 18, 2014 9:54 am

        How about posting a review of Against the Dark Yogi at the ‘Shite? That would make Pundejo all sad and whiny. Poor Pundy, nobody likes his elf rakshasa game.

      • Princeofnothing permalink
        November 18, 2014 10:13 am

        I was planning on doing a comparison with Against the Dark Yogi, EoPt, Spears of the Dawn, Carcosa and maybe some of the ole’ 2nd edition historical sourcebooks.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 18, 2014 10:39 am

        I found this funny comment at the Turdshack:

        Thanks for reviewing this, I was intrigued by the concept (and liked the sample art) but slightly put off because it came from RPG Pundit.

        The Pundejo sure has fans.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 18, 2014 11:10 am

        Against the Dark Yogi kicks the shit out of Arrows of Indra.

      • November 18, 2014 11:33 am


      • Von permalink
        November 20, 2014 11:08 pm

        Prince of Nothing – can your Bloobot 3.x replace the current one? This brain-warped vision-quest stuff is in the same room as amusing, and goodness knows I need a laugh since Kent seems to have gone off the deep end (again).

        Also, review of Arrows of Indra = acceptable. Someone besides its author has to.

      • Elminster Crowley permalink
        November 29, 2014 12:40 pm

        I don’t know much about this “Dark Yogi”, but I bet he can steal some pick-a-nick baskets like a mothafucka.


    • bloodymage permalink
      November 17, 2014 6:29 pm

      Guys, my health sucks, my place is pretty torn up, I’m confused and in constant pain but I’m not yet dead.

  46. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 17, 2014 11:18 am

    They call him Blooey, Blooey, faster than lightning,
    No-one you see, is smarter than he,
    And we know Blooey, lives in a world full of wonder,
    Flying there-under, under the sea!

    OK, I just plugged his name into the Flipper song. I’m not as good at songs and poems as you guys.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 17, 2014 12:09 pm

      They call him Blooey, Blooey, washed up in Texas.
      He’s pure OSR, he lived in a car.
      And we know Blooey lives in a world full of wonder
      Now go do your bit, and buy Blooey’s shit.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        November 17, 2014 1:22 pm

        Thas’ wot I’m talkin’ bout!

  47. bloodymage permalink
    November 17, 2014 6:27 pm

    Planes, trains and automobiles, broke and broken, still no damn help. 😥

    • justme permalink
      November 17, 2014 7:30 pm

      You”re going the wrong way !

      • Sykirobme permalink
        November 18, 2014 6:55 am

        How do you know where he’s going. You’re probably just drunk.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 18, 2014 8:00 am

        Say no to booze, the only thing you need in your cup is a train.

  48. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 18, 2014 3:14 pm

    I think I’ll submit “Planes, Trains, and Autos in a cup” to Polyhedron games as the next big release. How to play: put three different colored dice in a cup. Each represents a plane, train, or auto. Rattle the cup to roll dice. Any of the dice that gets a 6 has broken down or crashed. Remove it from the cup. When all the dice are gone, you are now in a Texas nursing home waiting for Bloodyson to come help you move furniture/fix your computer/or help you rinse after a crap. Put a single six sided in the cup. Roll, and if you don’t get a 6 you are still waiting. Kick back, fill the CD changer with prog rock discs, hit shuffle, wait for 20 minutes then roll and repeat. When 6 comes up Bloodyson has arrived.

    Now roll that sixer again. 1-2) he shows up with a 300 pound girlfriend who cannot say “hello” because she is stuffing a Taco Bell burrito in her mouth. Roll again. 3-4)) He shows up with a young, stubble-chinned Guatemalan guy in drag and introduces him as his fiancee. roll again. 5) he shows up with a shotgun and fistful of anger over having been put in foster care. *Ka-Blooey!* it’s game over. 6) he grudgingly helps out with whatever chickenshit you have going on in your life. You win.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      November 18, 2014 6:03 pm

      If you win, roll D20 for the Blooey Bonus Round:

      1 – You fly out to Garycon but get stuck at the airport. Lose a turn.
      2 – You drive to another con but can’t find a church parking lot to sleep in without the fuzz making you leave.
      3 – Your dog runs away.
      4 – Your dog trainer runs away.
      5 – You’re still trying to draw mountains with your new cartography software. Go back three spaces.
      6 – Your employees threaten to quit unless you give them a raise from negative $1000 to negative $500. Polyhedron LLC goes out of business.
      7 – The RPG meetup group you founded in Arizona gets permission to build a bronze Blooey statue in the Prescott village square but Blooeyson absconds with the money. He claims to own all rights to the name Blooey and puts up a website showing him in lots of meetings with important people.
      8 – You can’t find enough volunteers to work security at Pollycon so you press-gang GMs until no one is left to run any games.
      9 – Pollyeggs go bad and land 43 people in the hospital with explosive diarrhea. FEMA quarantines the city.
      10 – You get stuck writing an article for Gygax magazine. Lose a turn.
      11 – Time to move again!
      12 – Bloo Detective is greenlighted with Peter Lorre set to play the lead. Blooey discovers that Lorre has been dead for 50 years. The script gets stuck in Development Hell.
      13 – Launch Kickstarter for new line of Beldany shower and toiletry accessories. Get funded up to soap-on-a-rope level, then disappear with the money. Draw a Community Chest card.
      14 – You secure a site for Pollycon in the middle of the desert but can’t find anywhere to rent a big tent or tables and chairs. Try again next year.
      15 – You rent the tent this time but can’t find enough plastic silverware. Try again.
      16 – You throw out your back while trying on the Pollycon mascot costume. Get one of those sponges-on-a-stick things to help yourself out and lose a turn.
      17 – Your website gets hacked but the hackers just shake their heads and leave without doing anything.
      18 – Eat, pee, crap, rinse, repeat.
      19 – You sell a game this week! Move ahead three spaces.
      20 – Pollycon is a success! You win!

      • November 18, 2014 8:16 pm

        You secure a site for Pollycon in the middle of the desert but can’t find anywhere to rent a big tent or tables and chairs. Try again next year.

        Blooing Man

      • bad wolf permalink
        November 19, 2014 9:15 am

        Sounds like it’s time for an OSR retroclone of Tom Wham’s venerable File 13Blooey 13?

        Or, just like, re-release the original one.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 18, 2014 7:35 pm

      Did you send in two grand with your design? That’s standard Polyhedron policy.

      The game is great, but there has to be a “dragged to the Mormon tabernacle for three hours” result.

      Eat pee crap convert

  49. REMINDER bag of dungeon douche permalink
    November 18, 2014 7:10 pm

    BIgby’s Lubed Fist
    Captain Kirks Dick Blood

  50. REMINDER bag of dungeon douche permalink
    November 18, 2014 7:35 pm

    What a shit censorious blog. A shit worthless blog which vets posts. Take a look at what’s published. The dumbest shit on earth. The dumbest shit on earth … vetted … by ydis. What an asshole.

    • November 18, 2014 7:48 pm

      Hey dumb Irish faggot, quit making up shite email addresses that get caught in the spam filter, you fucking waste of space. Is “” too fucking hard for you to spell?

    • November 18, 2014 8:00 pm

      The dumbest shit on Earth, courtesy of Kent, innumerate mathematician, illiterate book snob.

  51. REMINDER bag of dungeon douche permalink
    November 18, 2014 8:06 pm


    • November 18, 2014 8:37 pm

      It’s amazing, the spam filter is on you faster than Bill Cosby on white girls.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        November 19, 2014 11:09 am

        Haha…Kunto is a Bloodymage level loser, just without the irony, pathos, and genuinely amusing persona.

        There’s that sad trombone again, dipshit. Put in yet another fucking quarter and play again.

    • November 18, 2014 8:41 pm

      Oho, so you did write that billionaire dinosaur forced-gay story.

      “Oscar Anderson” FTW!

    • justme permalink
      November 19, 2014 4:50 pm

      If you want faggottess to suck your cock the motivation behind that is a tad suspect.

  52. November 18, 2014 8:59 pm

    I blame Kent!

    Now we know how owlbears originated.

    • bloodymage permalink
      November 19, 2014 12:19 pm

      I never saw a seal rape a penguin before until now. My Google-fu is not great, but I guess Ill have to look online. Penguin was a villain in Batman Returns. Seal sang the theme song for Batman Forever. Son is supposed to show today. Who knows? And I’m not OK, but I won’t bore anyone w/ details. Slow, slow, slow and it’s killin’ me. Texas still sucks (actually it’s me that’s the problem).

      • November 19, 2014 12:26 pm

        Texas does indeed suck, Bloobot, but it’s better than Antarctica. You wouldn’t do well with the cold and the seal-rape.

        On the other hand, Kent is probably booking a cruise right now. He’ll be sure to pack a tux- for the shore excursions, not dinner at the captain’s table.

  53. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    November 19, 2014 6:46 am

    I know all my homies have been following Turdkar’s crowdsourced sandbox island on G+.

    Evidently the name is being voted on, and one of the potential names is…Windbreak Isle.

    I have no idea if they are serious or not, since fuck G+ so I am not reading their conversation. But it would be awesome if they fucking named Eric’s baby Windbreak Isle.

    So if you are able, please vote today! Steer the blOwSR toward flatulence!

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      November 19, 2014 11:07 am

      Judging by the DF flatulence thread a couple months back, the gaming tables of the OSR already ring with the sound of flapping ass-flesh and reek to high heaven. There seems to be an obsession with it out there, so a name like that might just pay off among these turd- ‘tards.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        November 19, 2014 11:42 am

        But that just masks the scent of estrogen…

      • Elminster Crowley permalink
        November 19, 2014 2:33 pm

        I’m smelling a tie-in with Blooey’s “Stink in Golanda”

    • bloodymage permalink
      November 19, 2014 12:24 pm

      Infernal machines!

  54. REMINDER bag of dungeon douche permalink
    November 19, 2014 2:43 pm

    The STUTTERING PRICK AWARD for the douchebag who thinks posting on ydis makes him FAMOUS goes to …

    Captain Kirks Dick Blood

    • November 19, 2014 3:19 pm

      Actually, the votes have been re-tallied by people who are not inept mathematicians. So, the award goes to…


      …who is very anxious to have his remarks counted among “The dumbest shit on earth [sic].” (He needs attention but he’s too delicate to maintain a blog.) Congratulations Kent!

    • November 19, 2014 4:42 pm

      That’s a funny bit of psychological projection, Durr Hurr. CKDB doesn’t seek fame, just lulz. You are the one posting here to keep from being forgotten. Your blog has been down for weeks, and no one cares that it is missing. No one at the forums even remembers your name, save for the moderators who scan each new member profile for a hint of sockpuppetry, perhaps an ISP address from Eire. To use a Vancian analogy, they are the watchers, while you are Fagnatz, bound and helpless beneath the lake. Soon, the watchers will forget the nature of the annoyance, but still they’ll watch.

      This place will soon be the only place where your memory lingers, though you’ve long been eclipsed by the likes of El Pundejo and Blooey. Given enough time, nobody here will remember the nature of Kent, paradoxically both dumbass and snob. People will still laugh when they hear a college dudebro intone, “Kent is a fag” but the phrase will be merely ritualistic, a mantra.

      This is why you keep returning here, it’s the only place you have left. “I was a king here once” you plaintively sob, and now this little section of the web is all that you, Ozymandumbass, have. Look and despair.

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      November 19, 2014 7:12 pm

      “Faith and begorra! They’re always after my Affryq charms!”

  55. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 19, 2014 6:08 pm

    We could just start referring to him only as “Paul Barry.” But really, how much of a nothing is that compared to the next-to-nothing that is Kent? Moderators and blOwSR luminaries such as Princess Zak and Trent Fister know the name he goes by in gaming. Perhaps “Paul” is Kunt’s true mask, a la Clark Kent. The “sock puppet” his disappointed parents/single mom gave name to at birth. When all is said and done, only the name he went by in his attempt to be a relevant blogger/adventure designer/forum malcontent/chickenshit three-minute podcaster will be known, at least in the little pond that is RPG’s. Paul is just some sad, broke drunk with a fat wife, no children, and no life. Knowing what he really is would probably sadden even me.

    • Von permalink
      November 20, 2014 11:13 pm


      Did I miss the Bride of Kentenstein at some point, or is this mere inference? Did some poor young thing finally submit so she could be free of the Irish bog-ogre’s lewd fondlings and finally wear something other than the pink socks of her shame?

  56. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    November 19, 2014 9:35 pm

    Knowing how many of the posters here are sitting at their computers wearing only their tightie-whities, scarfing Doritos and downing Dew might be mildly disconcerting.

    You know who you are. J’accuse!

    • justme permalink
      November 20, 2014 6:07 am

      You just mind want to poke you mind’s eye out if you catch yourself ligering on the imagined dieat and dress of ydis posters.

      • justme permalink
        November 20, 2014 6:26 am

        F’n autocorrect…. Why the hell did it change might to mind? Frigging smartphone corrects word spelled correctly but let’s me type crap like “snarfle brimley mi9lk”. Still not typing in my undies while munching on doritos and swilling the dew.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        November 20, 2014 8:55 am

        We only have your word for that, justme.

        And looking into my magic pool of All-Seeing Mountain Dew, I perceive an underweared fatass looking back. Making furtive complaints about autocorrect.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        November 20, 2014 8:56 am

        Um…make that “futile” complaints. Goddamned autocorrect.

      • justme permalink
        November 20, 2014 9:06 am

        Fix that scrying bowl if it’s tuning in a fatass in undies, maybe it was just a reflection? Uh Oh maybe RPGPuds real magick is hexing your vibes…

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 20, 2014 9:24 am

      You wish we were in tighty whities! I, myself, prefer to feel those Windbreak Island breezes ruffling my pubes. The little island birds like to pick the Cheeto crumbs out of my navel.


    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      November 20, 2014 11:23 am

      Aw yeah, ye old “horking down Mountain Dew and Doritos in your mom’s basement” burn. Nothing like the classics!

      • Von permalink
        November 20, 2014 11:14 pm

        My mother doesn’t even have a basement. Another precious gaming memory on which I’ve missed out, alas.

      • Elminster Crowley permalink
        November 25, 2014 7:49 pm

        Hey Von, I was looking through your Tumblr, and couldn’t help but wonder what a progressive, fedora-wearing neckbeard might have to say about our latest “Enriching” experience we’re having with our “Diversities” in Ferguson?

        You can call me racist if you like, but we’ve already established that. What I really want is your honest opinions on the subject.

        Feel free to comment on Woolwich terror attack or the 1,400 young British in Rotterham, since those events are closer to your neck of the woods.

  57. Oscar Anderson, Billionaire Dinosaur permalink
    November 20, 2014 9:47 am

    It has come to my attention that my name is being used for the purposes of homosexual amusement here.

    Please, let me fly you in my personal helicopter to my beachside residence, where all will be explained. We can even play a game of Dungeons and Dragons, should the fancy strike.

    Please leave your phones and other such inconveniences behind.

  58. November 20, 2014 10:13 am

    Bigby’s Lubed Fist permalink
    November 19, 2014 8:20 pm

    In Kent’s case, it’s Sodom and begorra.

    Okay, that alone was worth wading through this thread. +100

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 20, 2014 1:13 pm

      Gee, thanks! I couldn’t have done it without the rest of the ensemble cast here. I tend to do best with off-the-cuff, pithy snark, which is hard to pull off without a good setup. The sarcastic motherfuckers here are great to riff off. Fuck, even sad sack Kent, as the perpetual schlemiel, is a part of the cast, even though he’s basically just the unloved troll in the prison in G3.

      • Timotheus permalink
        November 20, 2014 2:13 pm

        I always saw kent as more like that crazed Kuo-toa ferry-man in D2, talking ti himself and trying to mock the party as he dutifully carries them and their shit across the river.

  59. JaleBoy76 permalink
    November 20, 2014 10:08 pm

    Oh, snap! Someone finally said it out loud.

    “Why My Kickstarters Work….

    First, I get the book draft-complete. Yes, some creators say they can’t invest that much time in writing without some kind of payoff. If they don’t have the confidence that their book has an audience and they don’t have the enthusiasm for it that would make them write it even if it was unsalable, then why on earth should anyone else bet on it? It’s clearly not a love project and it’s clearly not a marketable prospect, so why exactly is it on Kickstarter? For solo creators like myself, writing costs precisely zero dollars. There are opportunity costs to the time and anguish spent over a manuscript, yes, but that’s part of the basic investment a KS creator needs to make in their work.”

    So stop playing Halo on your Nintendo, put down the Bugles and Mr Pibb*, and complete your manuscript before begging for money on Kickstarter.

    *Did I get my references right?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 20, 2014 10:21 pm

      This guy said it best:

      “Look at all these people making kickstarters. How hard can it be?”

    • JaleBoy76 permalink
      November 20, 2014 10:34 pm

      At the bottom her writes, “Everything I still need to do, I can do with two broken legs and advanced pneumonia, so I should be ready for typical Kickstarter creator calamities.”

      Directed at someone in particular, I wonder?

  60. Mjollnir's Gay Nazi Lover permalink
    November 20, 2014 10:14 pm

    Uh oh. Looks like we are going to have to form a lynch mob to string up that COLORED NIGGER Bill Cosby for raping all those white women!

    I’ll get right on that as soon as I make Mjollnir deep throat my Nazi cock and shoot a load in his pooper!!!!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 20, 2014 10:25 pm


    • Elminster Crowley permalink
      November 21, 2014 6:03 pm

      • Mjollnir's Gay Nazi Lover permalink
        November 21, 2014 9:05 pm

        STFU and go get your butt lube, Mjollnir. Daddy is coming home and he’s using the back door tonight!

      • Mjollnir permalink
        November 22, 2014 10:02 am

  61. PrinceofNothing permalink
    November 20, 2014 10:15 pm

    This is your early morning insomnia Prince reporting to you live with another classic Tarnowski meltdown. The topic is one that has come up lately, Arrows of Indra and various reasons why it sucks(or why we cannot appreciate its genius). Bestest most historically mythically accurate ey?

    Read, giggle, point, laugh, enjoy.

    Against the Dark Yogi comparison we are so going to do this.

    (And fuck you Pundit for apparently basing shit hours of deep research into Indian mythology but omitting Raktabija or other awesome Asura Princes in favour of YOU CANS MAKE YOUR OWN DEMON PRINCE/KINGS THEY ARE 7500 MINIMUM BUT YOU LACK THE UNDERSTANDING TO APPRECIATE MY SETTING SO FUCK YOU). And eat shit with your type A Asurae. Why isnt the random monstrosity table for asura generation? Twit.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 20, 2014 10:27 pm

      What that guy really needs is Against the Dark Yogi – India DONE RIGHT!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 21, 2014 4:29 am

      This is the part that cracks me up:

      Seriously, I can get hating someone. That’s a given. But see, when I hate someone I try my damnedest to hate them for what they have done or written.

      The lack of self-awareness is mind-boggling.

      As far as Asuras go, I rate for Hiraṇyakaśipu. if AoI doesn’t have rules for those weird immunities that demons have, such as Hiraṇyakaśipu’s or Ravana’s boons, then it isn’t worth shit.

  62. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    November 21, 2014 12:06 am

    In for Swami scrutiny. Now that Nyambe: African Adventures has kind of petered out (at least until Joey G. finally releases those damn magical afro dice), I could go for a new game and setting that I could read and enjoy fantasizing about playing but would never, ever, ever, ever find anyone to play it with.

  63. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 21, 2014 5:40 am

    Heh, Arrows of Indra, one whopping page at Dragonsfoot, most of the posts are about how it’s not worth the full cover price.

    • justme permalink
      November 21, 2014 7:36 am

      “Arrows of I’m probably never going to play it anyway not worth asking price.” sums it up pretty well.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 21, 2014 8:35 am

      “Probably not worth the $12.99 they normally charge (when you compare it to other RCs), but easily worth a $1”

  64. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 21, 2014 10:55 am

    A buck? I dunno man. You can get a nice little something at the 99 cent store for a buck and change with tax. Two Tacos at Jack In The Box for a buck. A dollar is still worth something.

    • justme permalink
      November 21, 2014 12:48 pm

      I haven’t had a jack in the box taco in 30-35 years, now I crave cheap greasie tacos….

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 21, 2014 4:27 pm

      As a YDIS regular, I get comps of all my RPG pdfs at

  65. The Misfits Mephisto permalink
    November 21, 2014 2:20 pm

    Tenkar’s Turdshack, which was valiant in its defense of WOTC’s IP when it turned out the OSR cyberbullies on an Australian housewife (for daring to use Mystara placenames), now points us to a downloadable archive of Dragon Magazines.

    “I’m not questioning the legality or moral issues, just passing along the info” says NYPD’s finest.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 21, 2014 4:24 pm

      BUT AN IP HAS BEEN STOLEN!!!! Where are all those Turdshack fans now to bully that housefrau Tenkar?????

    • justme permalink
      November 22, 2014 7:22 am

      Simple thievery isn’t IP fraud. The wares site hosting pdfs isn’t claiming they thought the crap up on their own and trying to pass it off as their own original works, they are just asswipes running a photocopier.

      • The Misfits Mephisto permalink
        November 23, 2014 12:12 pm

        You’ve succinctly summarized both halves of the OSR, there.

  66. REMINDER bag of dungeon douche permalink
    November 21, 2014 2:42 pm

    I love this site.

    Everywhere I look the dumbest shitheads on the web are huddled together to comfort each others butts.

    And … it is *expected* of me that I point my accusing finger at you and laugh, you, the most unimportant people alive.

    Heh heh.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 21, 2014 3:17 pm

      And here you are, in the middle of the huddle, Ozymandumbass. I say, I say, look around you and despair.

      Getting back to the “Arrows of Indra” sub-thread, you have a real bad case of “kicking the statue of Shiva”. You insist that we are the “most unimportant people alive”, yet we occupy an unhealthy amount of your headspace, hence your comment here. Your self-proclaimed derision verges on devotion akin to that of Teresa of Avila. Any more fervor and you’d be manifesting suckmata.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 21, 2014 4:24 pm

      ~ass cancer

  67. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 21, 2014 4:11 pm

    Kunt, I’d like to wish you the very merriest of holidays. Like most other holiday seasons for you over the years, it’s a time of hesitation-cuts on your wrists. A time where you taste once again the cold metal of a pistol barrel in your mouth as you clench your teary eyes and try without success to go to a place of peace and leave behind the wasted life. Might I recommend that this year you give the ol’ hose-from-tailpipe-into-the-cab-of-the-car method? Do you even have a car? You can suck down a bottle of cheap whiskey and drift off to the sound of Morrisey on your cassette player (you still have one of those, don’t you Kunt?). Or perhaps a leap o’ faith off a tall building (do they have buildings tall enough for that in the welfare housing authority flats, Kuntington?).

    Anyway, here’s hoping you gift the humanoids (and your long suffering cat) who still suffer your presence in their lives with taking yourself off the planet. It’s your chance to finally spread some joy. They’ll all be running around all giddy Christmas morn when the body is found like Scrooge after the ghost home invasions.

    And the happiest of holidays to you all!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 21, 2014 6:40 pm

      Nah, suicide isn’t in the cards for Kent, Kent’s more of a “death by autoerotic misadventure” kind of guy. I think his end will be simultaneously grotesque, sordid, and comical- much like this:

      In Kent’s case, they’ll probably find him with a bag of dice and a rolled-up copy of Arneson’s “First Fantasy Campaign” up his poop-chute.

  68. The Pundit is not Gay permalink
    November 21, 2014 4:29 pm

    “So this is something I said five years ago. I wouldn’t use the term in that way (as in gay=lame) today.

    I’ll also note that as far back as eight years ago, I was writing blog entries in defense of gay rights, like one I wrote back around 2005 about Zach Stark, a kid who had been forcibly sent to a ‘gay-reparation’ pseudo-psychiatric institution against his will. Back around that time, both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton were against gay marriage, while I was for it. I’ve also welcomed LGBT people into my gaming groups for the last 20 years or so.

    So yeah, language evolves and people change in their use of it over time.

    And with that, this attempt to somehow stir controversy by meticulously pointing out tiny snippets of literally hundreds of thousands of things I’ve written over 10 years of punditing as if that proves something is closed.


    Gay has meant “lame” since the 50’s

    The Pundit is so gay…

    • Timotheus permalink
      November 21, 2014 4:57 pm

      Yeah, the “I’ve changed these last five years” defense rings hollow.

      The laughing-at-murdered-children punditing was more recent than that. Some of the big brave free speech lovers on the Shite should rub his nose in that.

      • justme permalink
        November 22, 2014 7:25 am

        He’s now a 10th level asshole instead of a 7th level asshole. That’s a whole lot of change. Once you reach name level asshole you get real magicks.

      • Timotheus permalink
        November 22, 2014 11:45 am

        Real magicks, in this case, is altering the work schedule of Uruguayan power utilities.

        Tarnowski made his bones for that kind of spell-casting ability.

  69. Mjollnir permalink
    November 22, 2014 2:34 pm

    Now THIS is hot!

    • Mjollnir permalink
      November 22, 2014 9:00 pm

      • Mjollnir permalink
        November 22, 2014 9:52 pm

        Only joking! I’d never fuck some IRISH RED HEADED NIGGER, or any woman for that matter!

        I’d fuck Kent though if I was drunk, even though he’s Irish. I know he’d like that.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 23, 2014 4:44 am

        What is happening here?

        #Umm #DoingGay #MentalIllnessAwareness

      • Mjollnir permalink
        November 23, 2014 11:31 am

        Some fag realized he can’t embarrass me by saying things ABOUT me, so he decided to try to embarrass me by posting stupid/gay shit using my username.

      • Mjollnir permalink
        November 23, 2014 3:35 pm

        And that fag is my guilty subconscious, because I’m must an impotent little white man with a small dick.

  70. Mjollnir permalink
    November 23, 2014 3:35 pm

    I’m also a closet homosexual.

    • Elminster Crowley permalink
      November 23, 2014 4:08 pm

      Our illustrious host could probably verify the ISPs and/or fake email addresses used, unless this little hoax is his doing.

    • Elminster Crowley permalink
      November 23, 2014 4:15 pm

      It’s easy enough to reproduce the little generic avatar by using Gravitar.

      What hasbara rats lack in charm they make up for in sleaziness.

  71. bloodymage permalink
    November 23, 2014 7:34 pm

    Not makin’ an real progress, so I game. And I’m not OK, but I won’t bore anyone w/ details. Get my hearing aids Monday. Doctor isn’t until the 3rd. Training got put off. Computer still gives me fits. Still crammed in this place. Flat broke. No meds. No help, son is into his own damn thing. Pastor isn’t replying to my emails. And I’m not OK, but I won’t bore anyone w/ details.

    Busted game tonight. Life still sucks. 😦

    Finally, God willing, I’m going to get this excess s**t out o here tomorrow! A church member came by tonight to see what all was going. This is gonna be a job. 😐 They’re going to take it to the DAV. Been workin’ my butt off trying to get ready. Tired of f**kin’ moving! :crazy2: And I’m not OK, but I won’t bore anyone w/ details.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 23, 2014 11:38 pm

      I can’t express how happy I am that Blooey is back on the “front page” of Dragonsfoot. I think the mods should make that thread sticky. I typically take a dim view of the clerical type, so I think it’s hilarious that Blooey is pestering his pastor. Poor craw thumper must be wondering who the fuck his new congregant is.

      If it were the “Brave Halfling” cleric/thief guy, that would be the cherry on the Blooey sundae.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 24, 2014 7:51 am

      Thank GOD Bloo Bot is back! Between Tenkar’s hypocritical promotion of illegal file sharing and some gay Nazi going bat shit crazy, we were in a lull.

      I wonder if anyone at dragonsfoot has directed Bloo over to YDIS to witness his growing cult of followers ready to tear up their character sheets at the drop of hat because DEATH TO ALL PCs!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 24, 2014 9:52 am

        Cult of Blooey: Today Golonda, tomorrow the world!

      • BEASTMAN BYAKHEE permalink
        November 25, 2014 3:27 pm



  72. PrinceofNothing permalink
    November 24, 2014 9:21 am

    Arrows of Indra Progress Report: Chapter 1 almost done. I feel like i may have seen some of these classes before but i can’t quite put my finger on where. Had to start over because i had accidentally been reading a Rules Encyclopedia that someone’s nine year old daughter doodled a picture of Kali on and i only noticed halfway through.

  73. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 24, 2014 10:00 am

    Were they cribbed from Dragon #225? You can snag it at Tenkar’s pirated magazines link.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      November 24, 2014 10:52 am

      I think it may have been a little obscure nugget called the Player’s Handbook for AD&D 1st edition. Not sure though. Quest ongoing.

  74. Sykirobme permalink
    November 24, 2014 10:22 am

    Hey, PerilousDreamer has a blog!!!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 24, 2014 12:22 pm

      Oooo! Hopefully soon there will be a Perilous D-Bot IN DA HOUSE!!!!

    • JaleBoy76 permalink
      November 24, 2014 5:04 pm

      You laugh, but those nat-20 house rules had me on the edge of my seat.

    • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
      November 24, 2014 5:46 pm

      “Over the years I have seen many, many arguments on message boards about “does a natural 20 always hit.” I adjudicate it as follows: yes.”

      Now make a saving throw motherfucker.

  75. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 24, 2014 11:34 am

    When reading the works of Perilous D, it helps to keep the high-larity factor up by remembering that he is somewhere around 60 years old. Here’s hoping he graduates to podcasting at some point.

  76. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    November 24, 2014 2:09 pm

    I wonder how Blooey is making out with the new hearing aids?

    • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
      November 24, 2014 5:48 pm

      He’s not okay, but he won’t bore any of us with the details.

  77. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 24, 2014 2:37 pm

    FreddyP must’ve sold enough plasma to afford a night out:

    In the interest of full disclosure, I dated a dwarf for a while. I was nuts over her.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      November 24, 2014 4:59 pm

      Freddy P is only 5’2″. Wow. I guess making over 5300 posts in a year and a half on DF gives him that “big man” feeling.

      What a fucking moronic man-child this guy is. His young daughter has more maturity and sense than this waste of space. Jeez.

    • JaleBoy76 permalink
      November 24, 2014 5:14 pm

      “if you shorted her on the tip….”

      Xabloyan batted in a double with that pun, and those churls don’t even appreciate it.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        November 24, 2014 6:41 pm

        Those dipshits are usually too busy tripping over their own shitty attempts at humor to appreciate anyone else’s.

  78. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    November 24, 2014 9:15 pm

    Never dated a dwarf, but I would totally date a chick in full drow-elf black-face regalia.

  79. bloodymage permalink
    November 24, 2014 10:35 pm

    Well they came by and got a lot of stuff out and left a disaster. Hurried and confused, two conditions a don’t deal well with. Got my new table up and put my new mini systems on it. Guy that had Joey came over, helped me finish my desk and helped me w/ my computer. Printer’s wireless now. Laptop has been wiped clean, no programs, no drivers, nada, don’t know how. Invited me to Thanksgiving. Earlier he went w/ me to p/u my hearing aids and bought me lunch. He knows the fix I’m in and has been very helpful.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 24, 2014 10:41 pm

      Sounds like Blooey found a sugar daddy!

      In other news, the excitement of Blooey’s PbP campaign is heating up as the party is forced to divide their “meager earnings” counting the two PCs that dropped out and go on a spending spree at Turdley’s General Goods buying up flasks of oil.

      • Let me tell you about my character permalink
        November 24, 2014 10:55 pm

        Don’t forget the dog food (at 30% markup). Does the party have any coupons?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 25, 2014 12:13 am

        Is there an inn that we can go to for some food and well needed rest?

        Yes, The Shaved Coin.

        Oh, Blooey, you misspelled “groin”.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 25, 2014 7:58 am

        You’re lobbing us softballs, Blooey!

      • Timotheus permalink
        November 25, 2014 8:37 am

        I like how that one guy runs away, turns around and surveys the situation, then sneaks up on the gnolls, then fries them (and his companions) with Burning Hands, all before anybody else gets their second round of action in. Very Matrix-esqe combat.

        Can’t wait to follow the haggling at Turley’s shop.

        Maybe the name of the inn was supposed to be The Shared Coin?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 25, 2014 9:04 am

        You’re lobbing us softballs, Blooey!

        The next tavern will be The Soft Balls.

        Maybe the name of the inn was supposed to be The Shared Coin?

        I think it’s a reference to shaving metal from the edges of coins, very thieves’ guild-y, which may be a clue, but I dunno if Bloo will follow up on it.

        I’m shocked that the combat went the way it did, whatever happened to “death to all PC’s”?

        I think Blooey’s “gentleman caller” has had a mellowing effect on him.

  80. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 25, 2014 9:10 am

    WHOA… did Blooey at any time explicitly state that his benefactor is human? I have a sinking feeling that Bloo’s sugar daddy is none other than- wait for it- Oscar Anderson, billionaire dinosaur.

    It’s a trap!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 25, 2014 9:43 am

      I’m still not sure what Joey is. bloodyson? Weird Son? Dog?

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 25, 2014 9:55 am

        If Blooey’s benefactor, his blooeyfactor, if you will, is Oscar Anderon, billionaire dinosaur, then Joey may be a Velociraptor.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        November 25, 2014 8:59 pm

        We really shouldn’t make fun of Oscar Anderson. If there is anyone who could bring the fun we have on this site to an end, it is the gay billionaire dinosaur.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 26, 2014 12:23 am

        Exactly, Master Blaster! Gay Nazis, gay drunken Irish sods on the dole? Not so much fun.

        But a gay billionaire DINOSAUR?

        MOTHER MAY I?
        YES PLEEASE!!!!

  81. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 25, 2014 11:17 am

    My man Blooey seemed kind of confused at one point as to whether these were gnolls or gnomes. With thirty of them, even with several under sleep, I really did expect it to be more Battle for Helms Deep and less Keystone Cops. These are 1st level/low level PC’s are the not? A low point burning hands was enough to chase a mob away? One second they are in the midst of battle, the next Bloo is railroading them right into town with zero fanfare. Dang.

    30% mark-up to all PC’s!

    • November 25, 2014 11:35 am

      “Zet left the game, Corwin ran for help. Tell ya the truth, don’t even recognize Burdock and Harlek. I think the former is a gnome played by Scott Anderson and I know Harlek at all, but that’s the damage distribution, best I can determine.”

      One of you guys should step in and just start playing. “DickButt returns to the group. [OOC sorry guys, busy week at work but I’m ready to get back into it]” I don’t think anyone would be the wiser.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        November 25, 2014 11:42 am

        but that’s the damage distribution, best I can determine”

        OK, at this point I’m pretty sure Bloo is using old Tunnels and Trolls combat rules instead of D&D.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 25, 2014 11:35 am

      The joke’s on them, he’s actually going to make them pay via Paypal.

      Buy some virtual product!

  82. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 25, 2014 11:38 am

    – The gnolls, completely startled give several sharp yips and scamper off, fur singed and *stinky* –

    Good lord, I think Bloodymage, always one step ahead of his fans, is teasing a spiritual sequel to Da Stank in Golanda in an upcoming Polyhedron Games release. “The Stink in The Grasslands” maybe?

    In a nutshell, a party is approaching a large grasslands area. On the road there are encounters with dogs, crazy old lady dog walkers, Mormons, difficult to move furniture, elderly and nosy neighbors, resentful offspring disgruntled by being left in foster care, virus-riddled computers, VA doctors who aren’t swift with handing out much needed meds, members who say they’ll show up for a game and don’t, and cartography programs.

    Several villagers at the tavern and supply shop (who all have surly attitudes and charge 30% mark-up) complain about yipping sounds and a burning fur smell from the grasslands, and offer 1d12 silver pieces and a free lunch (they know the fix the party is in and want to help) to investigate.

    The party finds a large pack of ferocious gnolls pissed off cause they all took 1 hp damage from a burning hands spell a few hours ago, and defeat them with the canny plan of using a couple of basic 1st level spells.

    The end. I guess.

  83. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 25, 2014 3:28 pm

    OK, after a bit of analysis (I of course do this with all things Blooeymage), I’m pretty sure Bloo is a bit confused about what gnolls are. BTB they are 7 foot tall, hyena faced monstrosities. But Bloo has them “scampering” and “yipping.” I’m pretty sure he meant these to be kobolds, but maybe his books are still in storage boxes so he gets a pass this time.

    Oh who are we kidding. Blooey gets a pass EVERY time.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      November 25, 2014 9:05 pm

      Scampering and yipping. Maybe these are poodle-gnolls. Do we have any idea what breed of dogs his ex trained?

      All we know is that every enemy so far has been canine.

      Maybe Bloo is about to make a breakthrough.

  84. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 25, 2014 5:02 pm

    Just in time for American Thanksgiving, everybody’s favorite Aspergers having, ass-burgers munching, vulva-hating Hibernian crackpot has reinstated his blog. Please only navigate to it using the link from this site, so his ass gets chapped every time he checks his web-traffic.

    • Elminster Crowley permalink
      November 25, 2014 7:10 pm

      Just in time for a Chimp Out in Ferguson by the gibs-me-dat community.



      • November 25, 2014 9:06 pm

        Mjollnir’s posting comments at “The Suck”
        But no one reads them anymore.
        He’s hoping he and Kent will fuck.
        Na-na-nazi fags are a bore.

        Na-na-nazi fags are a bore.
        Na-na-nazi fags are a bore.

        He should be posting at Stormfront,
        He finds posting there a chore.
        He’s just what Kent would call a “cunt”.
        Na-na-nazi fags are a bore.

        Na-na-nazi fags are a bore.
        Na-na-nazi fags are a bore.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        November 25, 2014 9:11 pm

        Speaking of the Gibbs, it must kill you that the fucking Bee Gees are whiter and maler than you.

        But I guess your band is Prussian Blue.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 25, 2014 11:14 pm

        Not any more, the former Olsen Twins of hate gave it up and are now peaceful pothead hippy types:


      • Elminster Crowley permalink
        November 26, 2014 12:30 am

        Speaking as a Gay Nazi who loves sucking on big black ding dongs and Jewish taints, I wish I was as exciting as a GAY BILLIONAIRE DINOSAUR!

        I am such a piece of shit I wish a Ferguson Negro looter would rape and piss in my mouth right now and put me in my inbred white trash place!

      • Elminster Crowley permalink
        November 26, 2014 4:53 pm

        Cool, I got my jew-fag stalker to use my other username.

    • November 25, 2014 7:12 pm

      I thought his ass would get chapped for other reasons…

      Oh, you’re speaking figuratively!

  85. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    November 26, 2014 12:37 am

    You know? As fucked up as we are here, I have to say I admire the fact that we still have the decency to stand up to and point and laugh at some impotent Neo-Nazi white trash piece of shit wannabe bully who the real Nazis would have shot in the face.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 26, 2014 1:03 am

      I think the dumbass read a comment about this place being a hotbed of viciousness and trollery from some forum weenie and thought that he’d fit in. His problem, besides his complete racist assholishness, is a complete lack of a sense of humor. We sling a lot of salty language, but there’s no real hate, except maybe Kent-hate, and poor rejected Mjollnir got really upset about that.

      I hope he, Kent, and El Pundejo get stuck in a dinghy for a month together.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        November 26, 2014 6:31 am

        Heh, heh. You said “dinghy.”

      • Elminster Crowley permalink
        November 26, 2014 5:23 pm

        Dong-Expert – I was actually invited here by no less than the spectre of Dave Arneson.


        And I’ve found the only people who don’t appreciate my sense of humor are those I tend to poke fun at.

        Keep up the dong research!

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      November 26, 2014 6:30 am

      God damn straight. We’ll take the chinks and the negroess…even the irish…but not the fucking nazis.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        November 26, 2014 10:23 am

        Gooks. The proper term is gooks.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 26, 2014 12:50 pm

        Ahem. “Ching Chongs, Wing Wongs, and all kinds of Ting Tongs” thank you very much.

  86. PrinceofNothing permalink
    November 26, 2014 6:53 am

    Ongoing Arrows of Pundra progress report. Still not much to separate it from B/X or AD&D. Only Pundit could make ghandarva’s and rakshasa’s feel exactly identical to elves and half orcs. Pundit did a little jingo with the skill system and the spell system that I suspect he may have nipped from Empire of the Petal Throne(with a few pundit additions). Little extra system for reaching enlightenment that amounts to a percentile based chance of getting spell-like abilities each level to supplement comparatively aenemic spellcaster abilities. Cue India flavored equipment section. It’s like memorizing a tabloid.

    Do not concern yourself with my safety, I am wearing oven mitts and safety glasses at all times, drink coffee and jack daniels(single malt) exclusively and have taken frequent breaks leading a pantomime of normal human existence throughout the review process. I on occasion have nightmares of a jungle-infested wasteland of depilated concrete apartment buildings and labyrinths of slums, forming unearthly symbols that the brain cannot fully process. I have developed an allergy to liberal politicians and an instinctive distrust of my fellow man. Sometimes when I log on my browser opens on the Rpgsite. I keep a copy of Dogs in the Vineyard in a hidden safe so that if the worst happens, I will not live to become it. This is how he breeds. I am sure of it.

    Cliffnote: I checked out the bharatwa or whatever the fuck its called and apparently its about 10 times the length of the Illiad and the Odyssey combined. That’s a lot of fucking mythology. Kent? If you have resumed your façade of semi-intelligence and as a direct result want to appear distinguished and well read to us, the closest thing you have to friends, now is the time. Arrows of Kentra, throw in some Ouroboros and some Illiad. Sprinkling of W. Chambers for the birds.

    • November 26, 2014 8:19 am

      If you feel the urge to relocate to South America, just stop and walk away.

      Seriously, it’s not worth it.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      November 26, 2014 8:56 am

      Yeah, Prince, those visions and side effects are troubling.

      In dead Uruguay, the pundit lies screaming.

    • the misfits mephisto permalink
      November 26, 2014 8:58 am

      OSRToday ran a “who weeps for Grognardia” post the other day, in which they quoted JaMal’s papal decree about the origins of the OSR:
      “Besides the retro-clones there are also entirely new games, like Mazes & Minotaurs and Encounter Critical, whose rules and aesthetics are more in tune with 1979 than 2009… ”

      A few weeks ago, new pope-wannabe Pundit weighed in on historical revisionism of the OSR by mentioning:
      “No, what was getting a whole bunch of people outside that little circle interested in Old-School in a big way was something called Encounter Critical….And about Mazes and Minotaurs. … It was the first OSR-Variant.”

      Pundick went on to mis-hear the locals calling him “El Pendejo” and to ask his followers to mine for dirt on JaMal… but the fact remains his own OSR definition is simply copied from JaMal.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 26, 2014 12:02 pm

        Good catch- Pundejo can’t escape JMal’s influence, even as he bashes him as an apostate and tries to claim his mantle.

        The funniest thing about JMal is that he was such a prolific writer that, years later, whenever you google anything RPG related, one of his posts pops up, yet when it came time to write “for reals” he totally flaked out.

        Now we have Pundejo, writing a post criticizing JMal, but coming up with a virtual Grognadsia cut-and-paste. This is a case of the Freudian concept of “the narcissism of small difference”.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 26, 2014 12:43 pm

        But he’s a celebrity in Uruguay! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • JaleBoy76 permalink
      November 26, 2014 9:14 am

      Apologies, but the editor in me raised an eyebrow at the word “depilated”. It means to remove hair from the body.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        November 26, 2014 10:22 am

        Maybe they’re Brazilian buildings, ever think of that?

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        November 26, 2014 4:07 pm

        Whoops, i struck out with that one. But on the plus side i learned a word.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 26, 2014 10:28 am

      Arrows of Kentra, eh? Are Cockshasas a playable character race?

  87. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 26, 2014 12:09 pm

    Pundick went on to mis-hear the locals calling him “El Pendejo”

    I was saying Boo-urns.

  88. bloodymage permalink
    November 26, 2014 2:27 pm

    Got my dining/gaming area set up, picked up my reams of paper and got them in the filing cabinet and that needs quite a bit of fine tuning from years of haphazard filing.

    Printer is hooked up wirelessly, but can’t figure out how to scan. Still too much work to do, fixing a broken damned life. Money would be a help but church is gifting me $150 tomorrow.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 26, 2014 2:43 pm

      “Got my dining/gaming area set up”
      It’s all about priorities, Blooey!
      And I’m guessing Blooey’s new tablecloth has made its Texas debut?

      “Money would be a help but church is gifting me $150 tomorrow.”
      Ah, so that’s why Blooey found Jesus again in Texas! Hopefully the Southern Methodists (Baptists?) didn’t make him sit through a five hour meeting like the Mormons in Arizona did before he could get his cash handout!

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 26, 2014 3:34 pm

        Gotta love Blooey, he hands out a collection plate to the reverend. Too bad his Polyhedron Games grift couldn’t work this way.

        Rev thinks he’ll earn that money back over the course of a bunch of Sundays, bless his heart.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 26, 2014 8:53 pm

        Polly Eggs will find a new home at the church pancake breakfast social! I just hope they don’t douse Blooey in holy water and try to perform an exorcism on him when he breaks out the polyhedral dice and DMG!


      • bloodymage permalink
        November 26, 2014 9:10 pm

        Polly Eggs are available in the comfort suite church vestibule.

  89. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    November 26, 2014 9:41 pm

    For those who care, it is official that racism can now be cured by 27 bong hits and playing Highway 61 Revisited backwards.

    I hope a certain Thor’s tool is paying attention.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 27, 2014 5:41 am

      What are the odds that Ass-Hammer would ever listen to that “Jew music”?

    • Elminster Crowley permalink
      November 27, 2014 7:40 pm

      The reason I’d never listen to Bob Dylan isn’t because he’s jew, it’s because he has a terrible singing voice. I listen to the Beastie Boys for instance, they’re entertaining.

      It’s a testament to jewish domination of the media (specifically the music industry in this case) that an ugly jew with no charisma and a terrible voice could have become a famous and successful singer.

      Peace out niggas

    • Elminster Crowley permalink
      November 28, 2014 6:40 am

      The one thing I can’t figure on is why I can’t enjoy more futanari on television and dark movie theaters? The Japs are like little yellow Jews with squinty eyes and a tiny bit less money but I can only find the bigdick her-hims on my computer only?!?!? What I wouldn’t give for Peter Jacksin to make a Futa X triligy!!!!

  90. Sykirobme permalink
    November 27, 2014 6:04 am

    Our good friend PerilousDreamer has spent four posts discussing the economy of OD&D. Good, gameable stuff like the metallurgic composition of each coin. Yeah.

    This is the kind of shit people who aren’t gaming concentrate on. I’m starting to suspect he’s been a bitter non-gamer since the ’70s.

    • PrinceofUruguay permalink
      November 27, 2014 6:56 am

      All those blog posts and nary a single comment. It’s like i’m walking through Pripyat. Must have been those dirty liberal intellectual story-game big-purple dildo swine that put em up to it. Of course my blog has frequent commentators. Incidentally, Arrows of Indra is on sale!


      Currently smoking: Moretti Rhodesian + Gawith’s Squadron Leader

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 27, 2014 8:16 am

        Snap out of it! You need to purge El Pundejo from your mind. Read a storygame STAT! The only thing you should be smoking is fish, or in the spirit of the day, a turkey.

        Damn, that was close.

      • RpgPunNOOOOOO!!! permalink
        November 27, 2014 9:22 am

        Hgn…finished…equipment…section. Listed price for…tranny concubines.
        Now approaching…Game Master Section.
        Must…fight…RpgPundit. Can’t…let him…get away…with…


      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        November 27, 2014 10:38 am

        An examination of the patient reveals the onset of a schizoid state. It is believed that his perusal of the Uruguayan manuscript has weakened his higher cognitive functions. Particularly damaging to the cerebral cortex is the eldritch Duh-Meh formula. At this point, I fear that the patient is more Pundit than man.

      • Currently Smoking a Prince of Nothing permalink
        November 28, 2014 8:56 am

        Currently smoking a reasonably well done set of house rules and minor modifications to the AD&D 1st edition and B/X framework with a few critical omissions.

        Currently smoking a mediocre gazetteer of the Bharata Kingdoms with a few cool nuggets presumably drawn from Indian mythology but not enough adventure hooks.

        Currently smoking the distilled lamentations of dozens of Norwegian parents at the fickle whims of a cold and uncaring universe.

        Currently smoking an imaginary battle of ideologies, fought on the smallest of scales, between a brave and free-thinking advocate of free speech and a nest of were-boar liberal academia, awful ettins, somewhat awful trolls and their tranny minions, holed up in monolith of a lurid purple and sickening ulfire hues.

        Currently smoking a growing awareness of our inadequacy as a writer, not necessarily a designer, against the endeavors of a million petty gods.

        Currently smoking an echo-chamber that cannot hide us from the time-displaced shadow-progeny of a long dead luminary, buried beneath the Dwimmermount.

        Currently smoking bitterness at the unidirectional nature of time, forever preventing our Olympian Son from usurping its father, a Prince of Amber.

        Currently smoking a consultancy made meaningless by the inclusion of a worker of the forge, which brings forth only the anti-matter that will unmake Rpg-dom in the end.

        Currently smoking the infinite vastness of the akashic library itself, channeled through the runic architecture of a pipe made from the petrified remains of Ka, the antediluvian allosaur god.

        Currently smoking you.

        We are all currently smoking.

        Oh yes, they smoke. They all smoke.

      • bloodymage permalink
        November 28, 2014 9:19 am

        And I’m not OK, but I won’t bore anyone w/ details.

  91. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    November 28, 2014 7:55 am

    I had hoped to see a Blooey Thanksgiving update by now. 😦

    • bloodymage permalink
      November 28, 2014 9:25 am

      Oscar Anderson, Billionaire Dinosaur invited me to Thanksgiving. There’s so much here and I’m no longer a party animal. Hurried and confused, two conditions a don’t deal well with. Still too much work to do, fixing a broken damned life. I curse the day my son brought me here. And I’m not OK, but I won’t bore anyone w/ details.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 28, 2014 10:34 am

      I’ll be content as long as we get “A Very Blooey Christmas”- Santa is unable to deliver presents, so Blooey has to save Christmas with his Bloodymagic.

      When Santa was ailing, then Blooey stepped up,
      And all the good children got Train in a Cup.

      Alternate title “The Stink Under the Tree”.

  92. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 28, 2014 10:45 am

    Looks like the only thing Blooey was roasting on Thanksgiving was his laptop:

    It seems like he knows just enough to royally fuck things up. If he knew nothing about computers, he wouldn’t be tinkering so much. He’s truly a special breed of fuckup.

    And that’s why he’s the best. Buy some product!

    • bloodymage permalink
      November 28, 2014 11:11 am

      F**kin’ computers! Damned expensive contraptions, computers, printers. Had to fix this one tonight, started actin’ squirrely. I can’t type an address into an address bar w/o it lagging. The windows keep fading and I have to click to bring them active again. And Bing keeps rearing its ugly head. F**kin’ computer. Had to fix it tonight, again. I uninstalled & reinstalled, no luck. The computer is still takin’ too much time but I have my addictions.

      And I’m not OK, but I won’t bore anyone w/ details. And my new printer is out of ink. 😡

  93. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    November 28, 2014 11:18 am

    I hereby declare today Bloo Friday, now BUY SOME PRODUCT!

  94. Elminster Crowley permalink
    November 28, 2014 11:58 am

    I’m really into getting golden showers from Jew boys. And I like a little HEbrew in my hiney!

  95. The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
    November 28, 2014 5:03 pm

    Ya know…

    Blooey has several things available on RPGnow. Several of those are under $1.

    Maybe we should all decide on one and do a group buy. Kind of a holiday care package for Blooey. Give back to him for all of the merriment he’s given us in the past?

    Sound good?

    Somebody else organise it. I’ll be over here reformatting my laptop. And no, I’m not alright, but I won’t bore you w/details.

  96. PrinceofNothing permalink
    November 30, 2014 3:46 am

    Hey guys!

    I just posted my review!

    Currently Smoking: Gigi Bent Billiard + Image Latakia

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      November 30, 2014 10:27 am

      9 out of 10?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 30, 2014 5:41 pm

      “There has been a lot of criticism and controversy over the art. Reminder: I wasn’t responsible for the art.”

      What a douche nozzle.

  97. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 30, 2014 6:43 pm

    Hey, a bonus Blooey thread! Man, ain’t the holidays grand? Always seems to be extra sweets around this time of year. Enjoy!

    • bloodymage permalink
      November 30, 2014 6:59 pm

      I need some help here to pay my monthly Facebook usage fee of $79.95, so please send money orders (NO PERSONAL CHECKS) to:
      Steve Willet
      General Delivery
      Irving, TX 70505

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        November 30, 2014 7:30 pm

        Death to all PCs (Paying by Checks)!

    • November 30, 2014 11:22 pm

      Fucking awesome! It’s Bloo-perfect, and the link to the Magazine tune was the icing on the cake! What is Blooey doing on Facebook that’s costing him money?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 2, 2014 6:52 am

      “Maybe you could stand around in stores annoying the salespeople. When they ask “May I help you?”, treat that opening like the free therapist session it is. Remember to pause every now and then and ask “Does that make sense?” but don’t give them a chance to answer. Also: take every opportunity to blame your ex-wife and mother, especially if you can convince them it’s the same person.” – Vlark

      Vlark, you are one of us!

  98. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    November 30, 2014 7:31 pm

    December Challenge:
    Create an OSR encounter using the following three elements:


    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 30, 2014 7:33 pm


    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      November 30, 2014 7:35 pm


    • bloodymage permalink
      December 1, 2014 9:45 am

      Happy Thanksgiving from Polyhedron Games!

    • JaleBoy76 permalink
      December 2, 2014 3:13 pm

      I want to write my entry for this but I’m having trouble stating out a new undead monster: the Shitegeist.

  99. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 1, 2014 10:32 am

    After years of humoring him as one of their own with zero irony, it seems The Unblown of DF have been reading our witticisms and chimp-outs and are having a little fun with our man Blooey. As usual, their “jokes” could use a Patton Oswalt or even one of us to punch them up a bit for them. But “A” for effort!

  100. Sykirobme permalink
    December 1, 2014 3:15 pm

    Hey, look who’s back!

    • PrinceofNothing. permalink
      December 1, 2014 4:47 pm

      Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Jamal Grognardia wgah’nagl fhtagn

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      December 1, 2014 4:58 pm

      Silence, $10 radius.

      • justme permalink
        December 2, 2014 4:27 pm

        $10.00 for 28 pages? It is 28 digest sized pages so it’s actually 14 pages, or 7 sheets of paper (not counting cover). Suppsedly a lot of that is postage, which is really strange because unless they are really heavy sheets of paper it could be mailed for as little as 49 cents in the U.S., Canada must have some expensive postage.
        I wonder if he finished writing it yet?

    • The Misfits Mephisto permalink
      December 1, 2014 6:22 pm

      Was anyone waiting for JaMal’s incisive comments on a review of the 5th Ed. DMG, the ultimate tome that co-opts the OSR and renders it irrelevant?

      “Not to be pedantic, but the original PHB first appeared in ’78. It was the Monster Manual that arrived in 1977, making it the first “advanced” book.”.

      “Not to be pedantic” indeed! Oh JaMal you are a treasure.

    • Grify McGrifterson permalink
      December 2, 2014 10:30 pm

      Just in time for the holiday season…proof there really is no God.
      I used to find him amusing but now I just want to perform an Arn Anderson style “brainbuster” on him.

  101. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 1, 2014 3:25 pm

    Well, shit, he still has legions of ass-kissers who are awaiting his return more anxiously than that Venger douche is awaiting Cthulhu. Why not get a few bucks out of them?

  102. December 1, 2014 5:52 pm

    Blooey’s got high class problems these day: boredom.

    • December 1, 2014 5:57 pm

      Heh heh… Maybe you can get part time job doing tech help or website design or something from home?

      The Blooey love just keeps spreading. I wish Bob Ross were alive to paint a portrait of Blooey on black velvet.

  103. December 1, 2014 5:52 pm

    Hey, hey, Cyber Motherfuckin’ Monday! Did anybody do any Christmas shopping at the Polyhedron store? Train in a cup, makes as good a gift as a chia Obama.


  104. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    December 1, 2014 7:25 pm

    Do a search for “cafepress polyhedron games” and the first result that comes up is the infamous shower curtain. It’s probably his number one best seller. Ol’ Bloo could be laughing all the way to the bank for all we know. Now marked down from an affordable $79 to a truly mind-boggling bargain price of $62.99. I know what I’m asking Santa for this year.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      December 1, 2014 7:30 pm

      Oh whoops, click around a little and you can get it for $45.99. I forgot about his multi-tier pricing structure.

  105. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    December 2, 2014 11:30 am

    I love that Blooey “boredom” thread- it seems Blooey’s a victim of boredom now, not just a carrier.

    Death to all excitement!

  106. JaleBoy76 permalink
    December 2, 2014 3:11 pm

    JB4UG (Jale Boy for Ulfire Girl) – Seeking a soul mate in this hard scrabble world of overpriced shower curtains and print-only zines of make-believe. I enjoy long walks by the Bottomless Lochs and watching the migratory patterns of Kickstarter scammers. Inside this chest of mine beats a lonely ruby-colored icosahedron. Roll it gently.

  107. PrinceofNothing. permalink
    December 2, 2014 3:32 pm

    [I finished my fucking review. Unfortunately its a screed of Alexian proportions. I hope blogger wordpress will accept this shit.]

    Prince of Nothing Reviews: Arrows of Indra.
    A Tale of Shameless copy-pasting and cynical Hucksterism.

    Disclaimer: As most of you reading this already know, I am peripherally affiliated with the entity known as YDIS. YDIS as a community does not condone the actions, statements, products or indeed, very existence of Jon Tarnowski(a.ka RPGPundit, Defender of Doing Gay, Scourge of Norway). As such I cannot truthfully state that this review is free of personal bias. However, I have striven to be as honest as humanly possible in reviewing as Arrows of Indra. Take what grains of salt you deem appropriate.

    This is a long-ass review so you might want to read it in shifts and take frequent coffee-breaks.

    Reading Arrows of Indra was not a pleasant experience for me. Unlike some of you here I do not believe the OSR is entirely creatively bankrupt. I love D&D, I’ve run 2nd edition, Basic and 3.5 and even a one-shot game of Carcosa in the past, and I like the philosophy of old school gaming in general. I believe there is room for innovation in the OSR and that people use retroclones to explore new ground(i.e adventures, settings) with an old system. Arrows of Indra made me question this assumption. Maybe the OSR is pointless and we should have let D&D die along with TSR.

    Moving on, for this particular review I have used the pdf version, generously donated to me by a close personal friend on 7chan. The cover(which is nice and well-executed) allegedly contains a depiction of a transvestite character(as Pundit is quick to remind anyone who cares(i.e nobody), and many who don’t), but this is hard to verify and not immediately obvious. The layout is fine, the artwork varies from acceptable (some landscapes, deities, items and animals) to terrible(everything else). The in-game map is serviceable.

    We start with our Introduction by Pundit where he proudly proclaims that you do not need to know anything about Indian myth outside of this book. Remember this point. He follows it up with the obligatory stupid disclaimer where he informs us that it should not be taken as an authoritative source on anything relating to Hindu religion, with the addendum that he does not advocate any caste system and acknowledges ‘the equality of all regardless of circumstance.’ Will Dark Albion contain a similar disclaimer about hereditary aristocracies and goblin slaying? However, a lot of rpgs feel the need to contain such ridiculous disclaimers so I will let this one slide.

    Chapter 1 contains character generation rules. You will be pleased to know 4d6 drop lowest, order or whatever the GM deems fit is still as functional as it was in the 80s. Everything is pretty much B/X with a resurrection probability table for Con. Next up is a caste system(roll randomly), which offers cultural context and ability bonus scores/penalties along with a recommendation that you should think twice about letting people play a Dalit(untouchable caste). Please note that class choice is determined by caste for humans. Overall, this section works fairly well and provides the necessary context for playing in caste.

    The we have random family generation (which they mention is important in Arrows of Indra so I guess it is then) and this little gem.

    “When the number of surviving siblings have been determined, the GM should roll randomly to determine which point in the birth order that PC is found; for example, if there are 5 surviving siblings, the GM could roll d6 (with a 1 indicating the PC is the oldest, 2 the second
    oldest, etc). If the number of surviving siblings is less convenient for a simple die roll the GM should pick the method that works best.”
    I think he might be on to something here. The next fucking rule section anyone writes should just have ‘THE GM SHOULD PICK THE METHOD THAT WORKS BEST” plastered a several hundred times across each page, The Shining Style. I want to make merry and mock Arrows but it is so uninspiring even its failures are pedestrian. It fails not by the virtue of its grasp extending its reach, it fails by having no reach and by being made by a hack-job with no creativity or talent.

    Next up we have the different races drawn from Indian myth, which are all mechanically superior to their human counterparts(token level limits here and there) and, with the omission of some flavour text, more or less mechanically identical to the demi-humans we have been gently inoculated with for all our role-playing lives(exception, Rakshasa’s). Gandharva’s get a +1 to dex and a -1 to con and are immune to charm(ahem, Mantra of Irresistable Presence), sleep, aging and get +1 to ranged weapons and +1 additional with bows. Vanara’s are monkey men that get an AC bonus versus medium or large creatures and a bonus to saves vs poison magic items spells/sneaking/ and a strength penalty/dex bonus. Yaksha’s are mountain spirits that get a +4 AC vs Giant sized creatures.

    THIS IS THE REVERSE OF WHAT A NEW RACE SHOULD BE LIKE. A new race should bring variety and role-playing opportunity and mechanics should reflect that. If your new race amounts to an elf with a bollywood coat of paint and two paragraphs of background slapped on you should rework it until it is something new. The worst thing is that Pundit claims this is a deliberate choice so it would be ‘familiar’ to DnD players. Yes. Pundit deliberately chose to do a hack-job cut-an-paste, because he knew anyone stupid enough to buy his stuff would be too dumb to protest. He is giving you something nearly identical to something that already exists, and he is charging money for it.
    Case in point for new races well done: Empire of the Petal Throne. I will be referring to EoPT(OD&D edition) more often in this review(later editions of which have been much maligned by Tarnowski, possibly as part of a plot to cover up how much he ripped off the OD&D version in writing Arrows of Indra). In many ways Arrows of Indra is a mirror-universe EoPT, derivative where EoPT was original, uninspiring where EoPT was overflowing with creativity etc. Arrows of Indra lacks depth, and nearly all the background material is just a thin veneer covering yet another retroclone. If you just want a retroclone, get one that is free. If you want an original setting, look elsewhere. This is a scam.

    Classes are inoffensive because they are identical to AD&D 1st edition with token tweaks and different names to make them more Indian-y and to avoid accusations of directly copy-pasting the Player’s Handbook(Priests can’t turn undead, Paladins can summon a giant eagle(Garruda) instead of a horse, Yogi’s are monks but called Yogi’s etc.). XP is now the same for every class. Saving throws are reduced to a single saving throw(which was pretty balsy when Swords & Wizardry did it). Stealing mechanics from better games and incorporating them into itself is also very Arrows of Indra.

    Alignment has been changed to Holy, Neutral and Unholy, and covers one’s standing with the gods(Holy means the gods like you Unholy means the Asura’s like you). That’s okay and reflects the setting a bit better. Next comes the vaunted skill system, which Tarnowski is quick to add is new, which either makes him a fucking liar or simply unaware of the definition of the word ‘new’.

    We get a hybridized d20 system for the skill resolution which works reasonably well. D20+ability score bonus+Proficiency ‘score’ roll against DC 10, 15 or 20.
    As Pundit mentions, you get both ‘background’ skills based on your randomly generated caste(e.g proficiency-esque skills like brickmaking) and class skills(class abilities for the anyone except the monk I mean Yogi) for which you roll randomly each level.

    This innovative new approach is so undeniably brilliant, M.A Barker resurrected himself, read arrows of Indra, was blown away and invented time travel so he could put pretty much the same system in EoPT(page 18). Of course Barker calls them ‘original skills’ and ‘professional skills’ and you roll randomly for which skill group you select them from(Unlike AoI, which uses random dice to determine which skills you get based on caste) and to his credit Barker did change the way you get new skills each level.

    To further illustrate what a hack Barker is, he also had the temerity to copy Pundit’s professional skill I mean class skill system. Barker did remove some of the randomness in the skill selection, but that’s a taste thing. So on to the class skills themselves. Every class rolls a d6 and gets a skill from the Tier 1 skill table.
    Priests need skills to cast spells(though some of the skills they get per level just allow them to learn things like languages, a design Barker cynically copies in his hack-job Empire of the Petal Throne Indra-clone). Most of the skills give the user the ability to conduct rituals, which are mostly defensive or utility based spells that take several minutes to cast and require incense. When you randomly get a particular spell-like ability you can generally use it once per day.
    This is a lot different from priest skills in EoPT, which are mostly defensive or utility based spells that you can generally use about once per day. No tier system in EoPT, simply a line of skills and the order in which they are to be taken though.
    Fighter skills are sort of what you’d expect, you get bonuses on specific weaponry, some charioteering, same proficiency twice means more bonuses, some Tier 2 stuff for improved defensive fighting, command and chakrams.
    On to the Siddhi skills(different from a wizard, Siddhi’s cannot wear armour and are bad at fighting). Here we see the Pundit really shine. Skills include a mixture of offensive, defensive and utility spellike abilities that can be used 1/day in general, and a really cool skill that is the first skill on the first table called Asana, that allows you to freeze your entire body in place or hold your breath for an extremely long period of time(1 breath per day).
    Of course that time-travelling asshole Barker has to ruin things again by making Control of Self the first skill magic users get in his hack-job Arrows of Indra Clone(page 21), which allows them to hold their breath for extremely long periods of time and freeze their body into place. And he also has the gall to make most of the magic user abilities spell-like abilities with a mixture of defensive, offensive and utility based powers that can generally be used 1/day. And of course Barker bases his last power, the Grey Hand(p. 21), a touch spell that destroys a target utterly and is usable 1/day, heavily off of Tarnowski’s THE BHAIRAVA-MUDRA, a touch spell that destroys a target utterly but with a saving throw that is usable 1/day.

    Now, I have been slightly cynical towards the Pundit’s work, but thankfully Pundit has incorporated another way of getting spell-like powers for wizards and clerics, a wholly original system called Enlightenment Powers, and oh boy has he earned back my trust. You have a percentile based chance to get 1 randomly generated spell-like power, generally useable 1/day, from each of the 3 tiers of enlightenment powers each level. Sounds pretty cool, and guarantees each priest/wizard is different. Naturally the percentile based chance of gaining powers from different tiers increases as one goes up in levels.
    Would you care to guess at the nature of the bonus spells system for priests and magic-users in World of Tekumel? If you guessed percentile based chance of getting 1 or more spellike abilities from 3 different tiers of powers each level(some of which are essentially the same spells across editions) with increased percentage based chances as you go up in level, you are not a customer of Arrows of Indra.

    Lest I be accused of anything but the utmost diligence, the equipment section is next. It is mostly unoffensive and contains pretty much exactly what you would expect in an equipment section for mythic India. Of interest to some of you(Kent!) might be the listed price for concubines and various other slaves, where special mention is made of the existence of ‘kliba’ or tranny concubines. Delicious.
    This section gives EoPT a break and instead borrows the weapons vs AC from AD&D 1st edition. Chariots and elephants included along with some rules for how to use them(chariots were lacking imho) Of particular interest to historians might be the encumbrance system, which is streamlined and very easy to use and stolen from Star Without Numbers GODDAMMIT I WANT TO READ SOMETHING NEW GIVE ME SOMETHIOQUIIOUDHFISHDFOIASJF

    A crash dump has occurred. Rebooting in safe mode.
    …Welcome Prince of Nothing

    Moving on to GM procedures, this section amounts to little more then house rules and minor modifications to B/X and AD&D. I should be fair and say this section, while undoubtedly stolen from various sources with rodent-like ingenuity and Satine Phoenix’s lack of shame, is pretty well done. The house rules are a decent interpretation of Basic, with a few additions, tweaks and clarifications that will no doubt make it fun to play for the shadowy un-beings that hide in the spaces between worlds where deleted pdf files go. Notably missing is underwater combat as well as mass combat rules, an essential part emulating in Indian Myths(the latter, not the former). It turns out a system that has withstood over two decades of continued play is pretty functional and most of the house rules work out some of the tweaks. I say house rules, but that’s only because I don’t feel like going through each retro-clone and figuring out when exactly Pundit stole what from where.

    On to the big selling point, the Gazetteer of the Bharata Kingdoms. This section is a lot less painful then the rest, but that also makes it the most tragic. Because this could have been a very good setting. Instead it is decent at best. I blame this on one central flaw; It adheres too closely to the Mahabarata(or whatever it is based on), at the cost of playability, maybe because Pundit didn’t feel confident enough in his abilities as a writer to put other shit in there. The Bharata Kingdoms as a setting needed more hooks and more shit going on. What is there is good, there is simply not enough of it, and some of it needs more description.
    When the gazzeteer is good, its pretty decent; most of the rulers for each kingdom are described and have various histories, feuds and other stuff that makes them reasonably interesting(a bad-ass emperor(Jarasandha) that seeks to sacrifice 100 kings to Shiva in order to complete some sort of ritual that will allow him mastery over all the worlds, a Rakshasa King, An Asura King who is a total pussy and loyal to the emperor out of fear etc). Mention is made of the occasional Naga(snake-dudes) city ruins, Asura Kingdoms and so forth, but details are very sparse and the single sentence descriptions are not evocative. While it could have used more structure(im thinking Greyhawk boxed set with population figures and shit, and maybe some levels and classes for the npcs?), it gives a decent amount of background information. I should point out that most of this is high level shit, entire kingdoms at eachother throats, super-powerful mythical demi-god warrior stuff etc. and for most Pcs, a lot of this shit will be background stuff for a long time. What also happens sometimes is that you get a region where Shiva or Rama did something cool and now it is a wasteland with no reason to go there. Overall, while what’s there is decent, it needs more. More descriptions of Asura kings kicking ass and impaling midgets, more Rakshasa warlords burning villages, more mad and feuding kings etc. Give us some ruins with descriptions and origins and some reason to go there and find shit other then treasure. THERE IS AN NAGA CITY HEAAR is not a good hook. Nevertheless, this section is alright.

    Next up is the dungeon section, or Patala underworld, a gigantic cave structure with seven lairs that runs all the way to hell, filled with Asuras, Nagas and other cool shit that you can beat the shit out of. This section is undeniably badass and I am unequivocally positive about it.
    We get an overview of all seven lairs of the Patala underworld, one requires you to sneak/fight past a Naga king with poison breath to even get in and is ruled by a badass Asura named Bala with his 1000 strong succubi harem(or the Indian Equivalent). They will try to charm and seduce guests into “Unholy acts of sensual lust until they die of exhaustion.” Aw yeah.
    Second lair is populated by ghosts and goblins(no wonder they call him ‘Pundit’. Ha ha. Get it? Pun?), Haragrivya, an Asura king who can only be slain by someone who is also called Haragrivya(I shit you not, that kicks ass). Also a city by Shiva for players to discover and retrieve something from.
    Third lair is a paradise-prison guarded by Deva’s(demigods) trapping Bali, an Asura king so powerful he once almost conquered the universe. He seeks penance now but the gods are still understandably nervous about letting him go. Good place to have shit happen.
    4th layer is ruled by Mayu, Asura lord of deception and architect of hell. He used to build gigantic floating death cities and now his entire clan has been imprisoned in the 4th layer, a labyrinth filled with architectural marvels and he likes to corrupt and torment visitors until they go insane. My first though was ‘why the fuck am I reading about cities that have already been destroyed? That sounds kickass. Why wasn’t I there? Fuck!’
    5th layer we have our Naga-demi gods and our Asuras and our Rakshasas. Nothing special.
    6th layer is ruled by a special tribe of Asuras but we don’t know what makes them special so we don’t care.
    7th layer leads into the hell realms and holds the largest Naga City ever, with plenty of stuff to loot and magical aging-retardant disease curing milk to loot, along with a shitload of Nagas and a Naga god-king to guard your shit.
    There’s a bunch of tables for generating random caves, tunnels, contents and different encounter tables for each level. This section is very useful but the random encounter tables are strange. We would expect the encounter tables to get progressively harder as you descend into the underworld, instead they actually get slightly easier as you descend, which is an odd choice.

    Overland encounters is okay, encounter tables for overland shit. Nothing spectacular that you have not seen before, but it’s useful. Random quest table bears an unerring resemblance to the one from EoPt(p. 41) but I am inclined to let it go since the quests are very vague and general.

    Next comes the monster section and it is bizarre(and not in a good way). People have pointed out the monsters are derivative(goblins, giants etc.) and Pundit retaliates by hiding behind mythological accuracy. He mentions 84 different creatures specifically taken from Indian mythology. What we actually get are 84 creatures, 40 of which are mundane or giant animals, reptiles, vermin or humans(bandits, barbarians etc.). We get giants, goblins, living dead(zombies), animate statues, air deva’s(air elemental), earth deva’s(guess), Fire Spirits(yup), Ghost ; Bhuta(like a ghost but indian and with the same stats) and skeletons. That’s 49 creatures we have seen before, not sufficiently different either mechanically or flavour-wise to qualify as different.
    We get Type A to Type E Asura’s, which depressed me to no end, as well as pundit smugly mentioning that the GM can modify them to no end as these are meant to be general categories, along with a general purpose Asura Prince and King template. They might as well have been ripped straight from the AD&D monster manual. Terrible. Why isn’t the random monstrosity generator(there is a random creature in it, which also doesn’t count) used to generate Asura’s? Another bizarre case is the Preta, a super interesting creature from Hindu myth(looked it up on wiki) that Pundit actually went out of his way to make mechanically identical to a ghoul. This is symptomatic of Arrows of Indra as a whole. It doesn’t turn D&D into something cool. It turns something cool into D&D. It is anti-creative. It smothers heterogeneity wherever it rears its ugly head. We could go on, but the monster section was a massive letdown, and even a seven headed cobra couldn’t save it. Fucking throw out half the giant animals, rewrite every undead creature so it feels weird and exotic and make at least 6 entries about Asura Princes/races. Go nuts. Raktaveya, Ravana, Vritra, Trisias. Make up some yourself. These things are a major antagonist in your setting. Show us them.

    The treasure section is the coup de grace. The fucking headshot to this abortion of a retro-clone. The paint is scraped off and reveals the corpse of D&D underneath. Again we see the pattern of Arrow of Indra taking shit that could have been really unique and fun and making it resemble the D&D we already know as much as possible. It’s almost as if it was made in some kind of alternate universe totalitarian world government controlled by a council of TsR Gygax androids where everything that deviates from the accepted parameters of D&D is ruthlessly supressed.
    The Herb section. (Potion section with the serial numbers filed off). Curing Herb. Endurance Herb(gives con bonus). Herb Against Cold. Herb of Invisibility. Herb of Swiftness.
    Minor Sutra’s! Like scrolls only they replicate enlightenment powers(which mostly replicate wizard spells).
    Major Sutras. Like Librams and Tomes. This section feels slightly less derivative. Honourable mention to the Supreme Bhakti Sutras, which increases the chance of divine intervention by 5% for anyone who studies it. The rest mostly gives a level to certain classes or a permanent +1 to attacks or damage with something.
    Mala beads(Palette swapped amulet section). Mala of Calming Animals. Mala of protection from affliction. Mala of sensing magic. Is this deliberate or is Pundit one of those Perilous dreamer kind of guys who hate everything non-OD&D?
    Staffs. Like the staff section in D&D only the staffs have less abilities and may even have different names. For example, Pundit re-named the Rod of Cancellation to the Staff of Annuling Magic, and I think you should donate to his blog to support him fighting the good fight(no, no you shouldn’t).
    Ring Section. Ring of Protection+2. Ring of True Vision. Ring of Aescetics(sustenance). Terrible.
    Conch shells. Like horns. Guess which horn they correspond to. Shanka of devastating force. Deva-summoning Shaka. Shaka of Confusion in Battle. To be fair, these are the worst offenders, the conch shells have a lot of different powers. I would almost give it a pass if by this time I was not seething with rage.
    Wonderous Items. Mostly derivative garbage(e.g gauntlets of ogre power in a dress, rope of climbing, plentiful cup that is a decanter of endless something), with a handful of decent items. A flying chariot of the gods. A magic wicker basket with a palace inside that is impregnable against all but the most powerful magic(If it’s a Daern’s instant fortress clone, it’s at least well disguised). A third eye that lets you control winds but not to hurricane strength.
    A magic item and weapon section with an emphasis on bows that is not worth the price of admission but is not actively offensive either. Be prepared to gaze in awe at magic things that inflict 1d6 extra fire damage. A child could have thought of that.
    Last and certainly not least is a list of artefact weapons to be granted by the gods themselves for specific quests. All of them are ridiculously powerful(an arrow that instantly disintegrates anything below 9 HD within 2000 feet, an arrow that gets +20 to hit and instantly kills his target(printed twice for no reason, once for shiva once for Vishnu, different names) etc.). They have no drawbacks and are likely to function mostly as plot devices(arrow that transforms into a rain of arrows and chakrams inflicting the enemies HD d8 to each enemy within 2000 feet). However, some have at least some lore attached to them and the effects can be a little badass, so these too get a very perfunctory pass. Note that some form of mass combat rules would have greatly increased the utility of shit like this.

    And…close off with a decent overview of major religions. Recent amount of detail is given. No information of Asura princes and their rituals. Lame. Guessing its Unholy acts and perverse reflections of what the gods want. Whatever. Two appendixes, dealing with higher level play(what you would expect in B/X only without siege rules or mass combat) and one detailing future events in the Mahabharata. Not likely to see much use, but more interesting then 80% of the book.

    Overall, while Arrows of Indra is undeniably functional, it is uninspired, derivative and falsely advertised. Pundit’s claims of only having to read the product to get a grip on Mythic India gaming are a sham. The few nuggets of creativity buried here and there do not save it from a likely unmarked rpg-grave at the bottom of a pit. I would pay perhaps $3.50 for the setting and underworld sections. The GM section should be free on a blog.

    My recommendation is you spend your 10$ on reference works for Indian Mythology(you can read the Mahabharata and probably others online for free btw), download a free copy of labyrinth lord, OSRIC or swords and wizardry, and make your own setting. You can do better then this drivel.

    Utility: Derivative but undeniably functional.
    Presentation: Shitty art.
    Creativity: Source material is great. Presentation thereof is lacking and the author should not be afraid to go beyond his source material a bit more. Game is overall a derivative waste of time, with the possible exception of the gazetteer and underworld sections.
    Use your $10: To check out Against the Dark Yogi Instead.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 3, 2014 12:07 am

      Like any decent Spanish restaurant, any decent Mythic India RPG. Had better have tapas:

      Does Arrows of BECMIndra have any rules for the sorts of boons or protections that demons or powerful humans have? Any stuff like Ravana being immune to the attacks of supernatural creatures, or Vritra’s being unslayable if on land or in the water, by day or night (Namuci had the same defense, much good it did either of them)? An entire campaign could center around finding a powerful Rakshasa’s vulnerability and then killing the mofo. Of course, it would have to be a good game, not Bollywood B/X.

      Also, did Pundejo write any guidelines for the distribution of artifact weapons? There’s a great vignette in the “Mahabharata” in which Arjuna and Aswatthaman duel with Brahma weapons which could leave the area scorched for 7,000 years. UFO nuts claim it’s about a nuclear exchange. Introducing something like that into a campaign would make the typical Raggian fuck-over look like a little kid’s tea party.

      Seems like the gaming world deserves a better Indian-themed RPG.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      December 3, 2014 3:01 am

      Heh, Tapas.

      I recall Asuras having immunity to normal weapons, and on occasion they are vulnerable to steel weapons(so like demons in AD&D with the serial numbers filed off). There was this one hero dude who had armour that was fused to his skin that rendered him immune to every blow and it could never be taken off. And of course the Asura that could only be killed by his own name-sibling. Maybe some of them are immune to fire or certain spells. I am not looking that shit up again.
      That other shit sounds really cool, so Pundit makes no mention of it because it would be too new and possibly generate good gameplay. My all time favourite is Raktaveya, a shapechanging Asura King whose every drop of blood that lands on the ground transforms into a clone of Raktaveya. He is also not in this game.

      Note also that Pundit doesn’t mention whether those artifact weapons(e.g an arrow that instant kills on hit and never misses from Kali) supercede those Achilles-heel esque. How very old school(or Lazy, you decide). You are supposed to get those artifact weapons directly from the gods(and some from Asuras for special reasons), but since that sucks I recommend breaking into Shiva’s Palace or Treasure troves and taking them by hook or by crook. No distribution of weapons by hex. Also no magic item creation rules.

      Hopefully Against the Dark Yogi is better then this.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 3, 2014 6:19 am

        Aswatthaman was the guy with the golden armor skin.

        My all-time favorite defensive curse was the poorly-worded one protecting Jayadratha- whoever caused his head to fall lifeless to the ground would have his own head explode. The workaround for that one was a classic screw-job:

        Some of the Indian myths read as if they were written by scumbag lawyers looking for loopholes in contracts.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      December 3, 2014 7:22 am

      Honestly, great review. Way better than most of what you get at the ‘shite or TBP.

      I got a free pdf copy of this way back when the publisher had a sale, but I didn’t get past character generation. Too derivative, as you describe, and on top of that, Tarnowski’s writing is kind of bad.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      December 3, 2014 7:34 am

      Great and thoughtful review, O Prince. We should sticky it somehow. And get it posted on the ‘Shite. That corn-fed SJW Will might be the ideal Manchurian (Mahabharatan?) candidate.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      December 3, 2014 4:47 pm

      Sounds good, but I’m not sure I’d be interested if it hasn’t won the RPGSite Gaming Product of Distinction Award.

  108. bloodymage permalink
    December 2, 2014 6:06 pm

    My weirdo son fucked a Hot Pocket today. I ate it afterwards because I ran out of food stamps early this month.

  109. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 2, 2014 7:35 pm

    I can’t decide what amused me most; that thoroughly entertaining game review, or the young dude filming himself fucking a hot pocket. Seeing as stuff like the hot pocket entry could theoretically get me fired from my job for looking at it, I’m going with the game review. Great job!

  110. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 2, 2014 7:48 pm

    I know there is plenty to get into with Arrows of Tekumel, but I had to pop this in there. Hidden in some jagoffs ad for gamers in Texas mayhap lay the seeds of possible future Blooey face to face gaming reports! These are potentially exciting developments for True Blue Bloodymage aficionados. Hopefully more to come!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      December 2, 2014 8:08 pm


    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      December 2, 2014 8:53 pm

      That’s only fourteen and a half hours away for me. Is it going to be a weekend game?

    • JaleBoy76 permalink
      December 3, 2014 7:31 am

      > “where ever we meet I would like it close to a bus route if possible.”

      The first person to open an old age home for gamers is going to be swimming in those Medicare checks.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        December 3, 2014 8:09 am

        A lot of them kick the bucket early, so there will be constant turnover.

        Hell, Blooey’s not that old, and he’s an absolute wreck.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        December 3, 2014 8:31 am

        He won’t bore anyone with the details, though.

  111. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 3, 2014 10:45 am

    Sumbitch might outlive us all. Blooey…in…spaaaaaaaaaaaace!!!

  112. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 3, 2014 10:53 am

    I checked out the distance between the two guys. About 25 miles. And the streets don’t seem to allow buses to go as the crow flies. Anybody know how long a 25 mile city bus ride with some twists and turns and the usual stops between two cities might take? Huh…I guess at least one or two transfers is in the cards as well at that distance.

    Be funny if the guy looking for a game shows up after two hours on the bus with a Powerpoint presentation on investing in Polyhedron Games LLC awaiting him. He might have to help Blooey get the computer started up first though.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      December 3, 2014 12:54 pm

      Being Texas, the bus service is probably substandard- can’t have any carless Negros or Messicans traveling too easily, can we?

      I think you’re right about the investment pitch, although bunch of Big Chief paper pads is more Blooey’s style than a PowerPoint presentation.

      “I don’t want to bore you with any details, but you can invest in Polyhedron Games, LLC for a small initial investment of twelve hundred dollars.”

  113. Tenser's Flogging Dicks permalink
    December 3, 2014 3:53 pm

    Big day for LotFP releases: Zak’s new book (apparently inspired by Lewis Carroll) with deluxe production values, Carryer’s Idea from Space, and new editions of Tower of the Stargazer and Death Frost Doom. Copies of Raggi’s own Cyrstal-Headed Kids (LotFP entry for Free RPG Day 2014) available for “just over” what LotFAppers paid via IndieGoGo. Not sure but I think Raffael Chandler’s NSFW is also out today for the first time.

    • Tenser's Flogging Dicks permalink
      December 3, 2014 3:54 pm

      But i won’t bore you with the details.

    • PrinceofNothing. permalink
      December 3, 2014 3:58 pm

      NSFW was already out in PDF form, but its nice to know Raggs is back on track. You go Raggs! Dubious financial wizardry aside, the man has balls(and no shame).

      • Tenser's Flogging Dicks permalink
        December 3, 2014 7:14 pm

        One has to leave shame behind to post nude selfies on G+ while the wife goes out to earn a living. But I won’t bore you with the details.

  114. Dio permalink
    December 18, 2014 7:34 pm

    Just checking in to see if any of you fat fuck neckbeards have left your basements, apart from going to your burger flipping jobs, to get laid yet!

    • Dio's Shit-Stained Dildo permalink
      December 20, 2014 8:59 am


  115. Flargun Schmargun permalink
    March 4, 2015 10:38 pm

    Hey kids! He’s back at it, again with more revolutionary thought! He’s the first guy to ever have this thought!

  116. October 11, 2017 1:52 pm

    What a waste of time reading this mindless crap of a blog posting!
    Your blogissuck!

  117. Smoot permalink
    October 31, 2018 10:51 pm

    What the fuck did I just read and how did I get here?

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