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This post is about Venger Satanis

September 4, 2014

I’m gonna be honest right up front: I’m a Venger Satanis fan. The Nickelodeon slime video [I think he removed it???], the cornball publishing empire, the whackadoodle soapbox shit… I mean, pretty much whatever tickles your funnybone, you can find a reason to unleash a Nelson-ian “HAHA!” in his direction, and evergreen niggas like that are hard to find these days. He don’t give a fuck, he’s fearless, he’s stupid, and that’s absolutely awesome.

But here’s some shit — Did you know he’s like the Supreme Tentacle of the Church of Cthulhu or something? And there’s a dissident movement agitating for his removal? Or there was and he persevered? I can’t read past a couple paragraphs to figure it out.

http://warlockasylum.wordpress.com/2010/11/22/open-lettrer-to-venger-satanis-how-to-rebuild-the-cult-of-cthulhu/

http://warlockasylum.wordpress.com/2010/11/17/is-venger-satanis-cult-of-cthulhu-going-out-of-business/

http://warlockasylum.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/will-venger-satanis-leave-the-cult-of-cthulhu-your-vote-counts/

I can’t even figure out what order to put those links in, because at the bottom of each article there’s like three more articles about Venger and him shittin’ up the Church of Gozer the Gozerian or whatever the fuck they’re talking about. I had NO*FUCKING*IDEA shit was this intense around a MacGuffin from some dimestore rags published a century ago. I can comprehend Bronies and /Slash/ fiction and Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and shit, but I literally cannot fathom dudes getting their panties twisted over who’s the most I’thaqua motherfucker on tha block.

His rabbit hole is deep, I mean inverse Olympus Mons at the bottom of the Challenger Deep deep, this shit only scratches the surface. Anything you find, post it. I unapologetically (sp?) am rooting for this fucking retard, if he has a donate button or some shit on his blog and you got some disposable income, fucking do it…

[Edit: Shit, forgot the book reviews.]

553 Comments leave one →
  1. September 4, 2014 11:21 pm

    Okay, found it:

    • September 4, 2014 11:23 pm

      Fuck, I’m drunk. This is the slime video:

      • kaptainvon permalink
        September 6, 2014 1:10 pm

        Oh, great Iag-Sauthauth, he could try to a) learn his fucking lines and b) sound like he’s actually shaken off the chains. I want to hear INTONING, dammit. Barking mad passion! Not this fucking offhanded drone, like he’s some sort of cthonic Mormon half-heartedly doing the Lord’s work over a frappacino and water biscuit.

        Go loud or go home.

    • Radovarl permalink
      September 5, 2014 4:09 am

      ROFL: “Give us a year, and we will transform you into something you won’t be able to recognize.”

      Coming from the EHP of the Cthulhu Cult, I have to wonder if that’s an entirely desirable prospect, although I suspect developing the Innsmouth look would be the least of my concerns after spending a year with these nutbags.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 5, 2014 6:14 am

      Iä! Iä! Cthulhu Fhtagn! No diggity no doubt!

    • Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
      September 5, 2014 8:30 am

      Hahaha, man oh man. This guy! Someone call Jerry Springer. He needs an episode.

    • Mjollnir permalink
      September 6, 2014 8:25 pm

      I know what you’re thinking – “Man, if only I could somehow get V.S. to be my Life Coach.”

      http://www.cultofcthulhu.net/motivational-life-coaching/

  2. September 5, 2014 2:16 am

    We all need Cthulhu cult names… they all combine 80s cartoon villains with a demonic name. I call dibs on Skeletor Beelzebubba.

    • September 5, 2014 2:30 am

      Can I call a mulligan? Destro Dispater sounds more badass.

    • Radovarl permalink
      September 5, 2014 4:06 am

      Ali Abaddon here.

      “I can comprehend Bronys and /Slash/ fiction and Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and shit…”

      You can?

      • Radovarl permalink
        September 5, 2014 5:14 am

        Okay, the first part isn’t a cartoon villain from the 80s (I blame caffeine deficiency), but in the Tea Party alternate universe there has to be a current comic book with a villain named “Ali”.

  3. Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
    September 5, 2014 4:09 am

    You can’t make this shit up. I want a name too… how about Plunger Satanus? Too subtle?

    • September 5, 2014 10:00 am

      Not subtle enough. Plunger Uranus?

      • Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
        September 5, 2014 11:04 am

        Oooh, nice. Plunger Ass’Crustee Uranus.

  4. i don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
    September 5, 2014 4:32 am

    I bags Dr. MegaSatan.

  5. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    September 5, 2014 6:11 am

    I am Hastur Pussycat.

  6. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    September 5, 2014 6:20 am

    He could have saved everyone a lot of time in that dating video by just saying “I like pussy and tits.”

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 5, 2014 6:21 am

      And then slapped an OSR logo on it and sold it to the blOwSR wallet things.

  7. September 5, 2014 6:48 am

    I am Zartan Grazz’t.

    But seriously, Venger Satanis has hit a brand new level of WTF. Just when you think it’s safe to read YDIS…eesh!

  8. September 5, 2014 7:09 am

    Gargamel Juiblex

    • justme permalink
      September 6, 2014 5:46 am

      Ah damn it you stole the one I was gonna pick now I”m stuck with
      Uni Dagon, people will think I’m a frigging brony.

  9. September 5, 2014 8:07 am

    Am I doing it right, you guys? Never thought I’d use the word “authenticity” referring to a Lovecraft cosplay nut. I’m using it now. Venger may look ridiculous, but compared to scat tourists like JARIV he seems to actually slime where he eats.

  10. Angry Black Gamer permalink
    September 5, 2014 8:33 am

    Mumm-Ra Kardum or maybe Bubbasaur Shub-Niggurath.

  11. Megatron Asmodeus permalink
    September 5, 2014 9:02 am

    Do all these guys try to look like Anton LaVey or is it a genetic thing we can ferret out and create a gene therapy for?

    • September 5, 2014 10:11 am

      Kids should have to submit to the black Sorting Turtleneck as a condition of receiving a driver’s license, with immediate intervention for individuals who test ALaV positive.

    • kaptainvon permalink
      September 6, 2014 1:12 pm

      It’s not an easy look to pull off. LaVey himself looked constipated half the time, which isn’t really what I expect from the high priest of self-serving liberation.

  12. September 5, 2014 9:59 am

    Okay, I’m going with Bavmorda Lovecraft. I want to keep my options genderfluid. Or maybe Baroness Juggalo? These could all be fantasy football team names, too…

  13. September 5, 2014 10:18 am

    Important Reminder: please vote whether Venger Satanis should leave the Church of Cthulhu.

    http://warlockasylum.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/will-venger-satanis-leave-the-cult-of-cthulhu-your-vote-counts/

    THIS MATTERS!!!

    • September 5, 2014 11:06 am

      We voted YES, because he represents pearls before swine and ought to find some tru believers.

    • Mjollnir permalink
      September 6, 2014 9:00 pm

      What kind of lame ass cult allows a VOTE on who gets to be high priest?

      • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
        September 8, 2014 8:41 pm

        ~Geheime Staatspolizei

      • Mjollnir permalink
        September 10, 2014 5:17 pm

        How’d you like to go to summer camp?

  14. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 5, 2014 11:32 am

    (Guitar begins to play, slow drum beat comes in – several well dressed black men slide on stage and start to dance in unison and sing)

    “…I guess…you’d say
    just what makes me
    feel this way

    Mi-Go. Talking ’bout..Mi-Go – Mi-Go!!!”

    -note: This joke only works if you pronounce “Mi” as “My” instead of “Mee.” See, it…aw, fuck you. It’s Friday.

    p.s. – my wizard name is “Armitage Von Makasanityroll.” I’m a prof at Miskatonic U and my thing is to make grad students read a page from Unspeakable Cults before I fuck ’em blue in the library annex after hours. I look like that student-porking teacher Elliot Gould played in Animal House. Porn ‘stach and all.

    • Coxzucker permalink
      September 5, 2014 1:16 pm

      Donald Sutherland

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        September 5, 2014 4:04 pm

        I could never tell those two douche bags apart.

  15. Radovarl permalink
    September 5, 2014 12:38 pm

    https://www.facebook.com/venger.satanis?fref=ts

    I’m so tempted to friend him. Crazy sells; he’s got like 3400 FB pals.

    • Radovarl permalink
      September 5, 2014 12:42 pm

      And he seems to have found his “high priestess”. Pics of the fam!

      • September 5, 2014 12:57 pm

        Even an Imperial Kleagle of Cthulhu needs a pulled pork sandwich every now and then…

      • September 5, 2014 3:07 pm

        Is that a trans-gay with him (upper left, balding)?

      • September 6, 2014 2:03 am

        For Dagon’s sake, kid, don’t order the fish- it could be Uncle Norbert!

      • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
        September 6, 2014 5:48 pm

        THAT’S A MAN, BABY!

      • Crank Denser permalink
        September 8, 2014 1:50 pm

        She got at least a six-head, maybe even a seven-head…keerist!

    • September 5, 2014 1:00 pm

      He’s a fan of The Big Bang Theory? He’s losing me.

  16. September 5, 2014 1:01 pm

    Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the comedy stylings of Venger Satanis:

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 5, 2014 8:10 pm

      It’s like Joan Rivers reincarnated.

  17. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    September 5, 2014 3:59 pm

    Looks like it has the makings of a good cult, I guess, but could use more horse-penis stuff.

  18. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 5, 2014 7:58 pm

    Really, Anton Levay didn’t believe in anything. He was just being super hokey. But this creepo certainly must. To take the name of a goofy cartoon villain you really have to take yourself seriously to the point of no return. Bald goatee guys in gaming are a dime a dozen, but can you imagine playing D&D or Cthulhu with him? It would have to be in a public place so you don’t end up waking up in a pit with a basket of lotion getting lowered down to you. Goddamn.

    I haven’t looked at the snail thing above yet, but isn’t that Christian Walker? Wondered what happened to that dipshit after his series of sad posts on his late, great surfing blog last year. It sounded like he was going to a dark place.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 5, 2014 8:12 pm

      I don’t know if that’s Christian but he does have that same surfer dude slash Hollywood Boulevard male prostitute look.

  19. justme permalink
    September 6, 2014 5:41 am

    Gee, a cult based on clearly ficitonal sources, I”ve seen something just like this before…

    • mandi morbid's fat rolls permalink
      September 6, 2014 7:33 am

      Yep. Islam.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 6, 2014 12:02 pm

      Joseph Smith wrote the Book of Mormon
      Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb!

      • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
        September 6, 2014 5:50 pm

      • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
        September 6, 2014 5:59 pm

  20. PrinceofNothing permalink
    September 6, 2014 8:22 am

    Dibs on Ebeneezer Demogorgon!

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      September 6, 2014 8:25 am

      Edit: Make that Asmodeus Megatron

  21. September 6, 2014 10:39 am

    http://warlockasylum.wordpress.com/2011/04/04/venger-satanis-proclaims-himself-to-be-the-savior-of-all-mankind/

    In this interview, we learn that Venger is writing his own version of the Necronomicon. Fortunately, it “is NOT intended to be taken seriously.” Whew, what a relief! Still, when will this be published?!?

    Also, there’s a good quote from VS in the comments:
    “If your picture of a savior never makes an omelet, then he’s missing out on a good source of protein.”

  22. kaptainvon permalink
    September 6, 2014 1:14 pm

    Hmm. Is ‘Unicron Ahrimanes’ a bridge too far, do you think?

  23. Timotheus permalink
    September 6, 2014 2:01 pm

    Harkening back to the graetest of 80’s cartoons, Kidd Video, I now declare myself to be Master Blaster Belial, reporting for duty.

    Suck it, Venger.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      September 6, 2014 2:03 pm

      Let it so be written; let it so be done.

  24. kingofalltherotten permalink
    September 6, 2014 3:03 pm

    Wowzers, from the Asylum du warlocks:

    ” The former Priests of R’lyeh Ego Diabolus and Beast Xeno are no longer affiliated with the Cult of Cthulhu. A combination of creative differences and incongruent beliefs made the split inevitable. As founder and leader of the Cthulhu Cult, I wish both of them much success in their future endeavors….Those wishing to read the detailed account of Ego and Beast’s departure should read through the 7 page thread on our forum titled “A Decree of Heresy.”

    This level of detail in kanoodling is definitely going to put him into competition with zakthehack for attention seeking and pointless drama. Welcome to the OSR!

    If you were going for a fictional mythos deity to worship, why not one a bit more awake and active, like good old Nyarlathotep? Oh well, ponderings for far greater minds than mine.

    • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
      September 6, 2014 5:47 pm

      I read it, and think, “these fuckers take this shit seriously!” Then I watch the videos, and realize it’s all a big joke to them.

      Tee hee hee! Look at me! Pissing on Christianity!

  25. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 7, 2014 7:51 pm

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=67630

    Heh. Good old Thorkie. He wants to know whatcha gonna do with no dick and no puss.

    • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
      September 8, 2014 5:17 am

      Dorkhammer! The real question is, “what happens to the lovely, lovely estrogen!”

      That’s quite a brain trust they have over there at Dragonsfart.

    • Megatron Asmodeus permalink
      September 8, 2014 5:29 am

      I literally laugh out loud every time some grog refers to AD&D books as “the literature.”

      “I’ve checked the literature and there doesn’t seem to be any references to ability score maximums for genderless characters! Herp-de-derp, I haven’t read a book not written by Gary in twenty years!”

      • AsmodeusMegatron permalink
        September 8, 2014 5:32 am

        Knave! Unperson! You have taken my name in vain! A hacking cough upon thee! May thy land grow barren and wither and thine wife bear only daughters!

      • September 8, 2014 8:08 am

        Seriously though, we do need to establish a protocol for claiming Cthulhu names. We can’t have a cult without a strict hierarchy, and we can’t order the minions if we can’t keep our Megatrons straight.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 8, 2014 1:10 pm

        Seriously, how can we spread chaos if we’re disorganized?

    • AsmodeusMegatron permalink
      September 8, 2014 5:30 am

      Gold leaps into the fray! THIS TOPIC IS PAINFULLY STUCK IN THE PAST! SOCIAL JUSTICE LEAGUE ASSEMBLE!

      • Mjollnir permalink
        September 8, 2014 7:42 pm

        How would we know what to think if we didn’t have self-righteous SJWs to tell us?

      • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
        September 8, 2014 8:35 pm

        ~Der Fuehrer

      • AsmodeusMegatron permalink
        September 9, 2014 7:21 am

      • Mjollnir permalink
        September 10, 2014 5:15 pm

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 13, 2014 7:53 am

        #MjollnirClosetGayNeoNazi

      • Mjollnir permalink
        September 13, 2014 8:04 pm

      • Scott permalink
        September 18, 2014 11:33 am

        I scroll to the end of the comments so fast that I just now noticed that Mjollnir posted a portrait of the Semite by the master A. Wyatt Mann

    • BaronGreenback_Nalfeshnee permalink
      September 8, 2014 2:44 pm

      You know, every time I want to leap to DF’s defense and say, “aww, c’mon, most of them are just fogies who actually play stuff and they discuss gaming more than a lot of other RPG forums do,” shit like this makes me just lose hope for all humanity.

      • September 8, 2014 4:30 pm

        Don’t lose hope. Here’s a comment from the spam folder that should cheer you up:

        Freeware gay porn
        http://gay.adultgalls.com/?page_sullivan
        gay military gay net tv black gay community luther vandross gay gayness

        [ed. Luther Vandross?]

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 8, 2014 5:48 pm

        I am betting that the number of times Sean Patrick Fanny does a search for “Luther Vandross gay military” has created its own self-replicating Terminatoresque spam bot.

        Not clicking on that link to verify, though.

        Really.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 9, 2014 6:12 am

        Luther Vandross died nine years ago… the person peddling Luther Vandross gay porn must be obsessed.

      • BaronGreenback_Nalfeshnee permalink
        September 9, 2014 7:44 pm

        That does make me happy, chief YID.

  26. HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
    September 9, 2014 7:47 pm

    Well, you can say this for ol’ Venger Ass Nasty Satanis. At least he still hasn’t written his own Wikipedia entry, unlike Zak S.

    • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
      September 9, 2014 7:51 pm

      Because he’s the High Priest of the Cthulhu Cult we deserve, not the High Priest of the Cthulhu Cult we need.

  27. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    September 9, 2014 8:20 pm

    Go away from my body!
    Depart from my body!
    From my body, flee in shame!
    Do not come near my body!
    Do not throng about my body!

    Lord Enki, Spirit of the Sky, Remember!

  28. Asmodeus Megatron permalink
    September 10, 2014 7:10 am

    Small tangent. I did a small checkup on Alexis and i think he is in his waning moon phase. Not only does he sort of admit hit points are not a genetic trait(by saying that he doesn’t care what they represent, implying it doesn’t matter), but he gives us rules for broken arms or something that actually use the existing framework and would require little or no work to implement. It’s like he is sort of sane again. You go girl!

    http://tao-dnd.blogspot.nl/2014/09/material-injuries.html

    (i am violating my oath of spite but i am a firm believer in acknowledging the good, lest our bile at the bad becomes a meaningless and flippant thing, provoking range only in the most insular of neckbeards and tears only in the frailest of little girls)

    • Asmodeus Megatron permalink
      September 10, 2014 7:11 am

      *Rage

    • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
      September 10, 2014 9:35 am

      Judging by his replies in the comments, I am glad to see Alexis is finally back on his psych meds.

      • AsmodeusMegatron permalink
        September 11, 2014 9:32 am

        Bloody hell he seems almost sane. Nary a passive agressive assault, nor a narcissistic temper tantrum. Actual discussion that facilitates and refines what has been outlined in the post. My money is on Alien Doppleganger, no way modern medicine can pull this one off.

      • justme permalink
        September 13, 2014 6:26 pm

        Well….

  29. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 10, 2014 11:47 am

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=67672

    OK, cleary that weird old coot Thorkhammer is just trying to get the record for most posts on DF, or he has gone totally batshit (or both). Why would anybody post this on a D&D site? Does that fugly dyke Gilbert play D&D or something?

    • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
      September 10, 2014 2:05 pm

      He’s probably just intoxicated from wafting all the lovely, lovely estrogen Sara and her wife Linda are giving off.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 11, 2014 1:57 am

        He must be hard up for spank material. Poor old coot would be better served by perusing Redtube than Red Box.

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      September 10, 2014 5:33 pm

      “And the pregnancy of someone (in this case, sara) is a joyous event, when it is wanted.”

      You know, just in case it was an OOOPS! PREGGERS!

      • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
        September 10, 2014 9:19 pm

        I’m pretty sure lesbo couples never find themselves in an OOPS PREGGERS moment. I mean the turkey baster up the whoohaa is probably there first clue.

      • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
        September 10, 2014 9:19 pm

        THEIR first clue… fucking autocorrect.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 10, 2014 10:22 pm

        How the fuck can two muff divers get accidentally pregs? Jeez Loiuse, Thorkie, put a little thought into your posturing.

  30. bloodymage permalink
    September 11, 2014 5:13 am

    Well, this is not one of my favorite boards but I have product to sell, so I’m registering for an account.

  31. bloodymage permalink
    September 11, 2014 5:20 am

    HAPPY 9/11 DAY EVERYONE!
    ONE DAY ONLY SALE POLYHEDRON GAMES 9/11 DAY BLOWOUT BASH!
    ALL 20 PAGE PDFS LIKE THE STINK IN GOLONDA ARE NOW JUST $20.01!
    ALL 10 PAGE PDFS LIKE KISS SYSEM ARE NOW JUST $9.11!
    NEVER FORGET – DEATH TO ALL PCS! NOW COULD YOU PLEASE BUY SOMETHING SO I CAN KEEP THE LIGHTS ON BEFORE I EXIT THIS WORLD?

  32. HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
    September 11, 2014 5:25 am

    Here’s a great deal for all blOwSR gamers who want to get their snack on!

    What too soon?

    • justme permalink
      September 11, 2014 8:05 am

      Are they toasted?

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      September 11, 2014 1:50 pm

      The last several comments had me laughing so hard I could barely keep down my Simvistatin and Valtrex pills…

  33. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    September 11, 2014 7:14 am

    So Zakattack is trying to convince everybody he understands art history, as some kind of stab at credibility. This is part four in a series of boring-ass lectures to the heathens of the blOwSR, who probably wish he’d go back to showing tittie pix.

    But at least he reveals history’s greatest villian, some dude named Vasectomy:

    http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-other-renaissance-or-there-is-no.html

    Bring coffee and toothpicks for your eyelids. Or skip it altogether.

    • justme permalink
      September 11, 2014 8:02 am

      A big ol’ so how is this relevant to the titties of women with bad fathers and the playing of D&D?
      Yup there were people making art most people didn’t see back in the olden days just like today. The big difference is in a lot of the world you get to make good or crappy art without having to worry about starving or being killed.

      • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
        September 11, 2014 4:32 pm

        Zak S did however go with Jean Fouquet’s Madonna and Child featuring the Virgin Mary’s exposed boob, so there is that.

    • AsmodeusMegatron permalink
      September 11, 2014 9:44 am

      This one gets a pass in my book. Perhaps it is the last radiant days of summer that have mellowed me out, perhaps i am no longer fit for service in this august body of razor-toothed, pollution-spewing hate-machines, but Zak waxing on about inspiring art on a game blog is about a million times more interesting then Zak promoting Frisco gender ideology, alleged porn star gaming skillz or waging war against the (other) SJWs.

      Can’t speak for the veracity of the art stuff, not a historian. Weird fucking waves going through the OSR. Now all we need is Pundit donating the proceeds of his Lords of Olympus Game to charity, Raggi publishing a monty haul dungeon and Jamal coming out of hiding to return the $8k to the kickstarters.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 11, 2014 11:25 am

        Actually you are right, this is some of Zakina’s most interesting stuff, despite my hipster boredom. But there are few targets of opportunity in the blOwSR these days (even Alex Qaida and Joe Blochead are keeping their heads down – we had to dig for youtube videos from Ass Nasty for Chissakes) so we have to trot out the hate-machine-speak on the old stand-bys to stay in troll shape.

        I still believe in you, AsmoMega.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        September 11, 2014 6:43 pm

        There is always Kent and his attempt to form a fantasy literature forum. There will always be Kent and his attempt to form a fantasty literature forum(preferably no gamers of course because they are woefully ignorant of the fantasy novel genre blah blah only books before 1980something blah blah you are a fag kent).
        I’m afraid we are going to have to pull an Anne Frank and sit tight until the OsR dissapoints once more. And there is always Rpg.net

        Vibes MBB. Vibes.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 11, 2014 11:41 pm

        Fuck, he’s such a knob. I doubt he’ll get his literature forum off the ground. He’d better credit this place, where the idea of him leaving behind gaming (having alienated every mod besides Gene) for a literary forum was first suggested.

  34. HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
    September 11, 2014 9:42 pm

    Goodman Games now has Magic Negro Dice for sale check this out!

    http://www.goodman-games.com/6041preview.html

    Apparently you can rub these dice on a Magic Negro’s afro for good luck when you are playing Dungeon Crawl Classics!

    #GOODMAN_GAMES_ARE_RACISTS
    #MAGIC_NEGRO_DICE_FROM_GOODMAN_GAMES
    #JOSEPH_GOODMAN_IMPERIAL_GRAND_WIZARD_KKK

    QUE SJWs TO THE RESCUE IN 3, 2, 1…

    • justme permalink
      September 12, 2014 5:06 am

      Im almost gobsmacked. I thought you were comically spoofing something a little silly…. Nope you were pretty much doing a copy and paste on the ad copy. Holy cow. Crossing my fingers they’ll do a fundraiser for little sambo cannibal pygmy figures..

    • HASTUR PUSSYCAT KILL! KILL! permalink
      September 12, 2014 5:12 am

      WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE?!?

      Goodman Games wants you to rub a Negro’s head for luck which is more Black Face Minstrel Show racist than cosplaying Drizzt the Drow ever was!!!!!!

      I need you guys to help me amplify the signal on this one!

    • Angry Black Gamer permalink
      September 12, 2014 5:38 am

      Damn! WTF? Mother fucker I thought you were being a YDIS dick but that shit is FOR REAL!

      What the fuck is wrong with you Goodman?

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      September 12, 2014 6:34 am

      God damn…what the fucking fuck? Is he trying to squeeze out the Chocalate Thunder chick by reminding everyone that Goodman had their Stereotype Black Chick first? Rub the dice in her fucking afro for luck?

      Even Geoffie “slavery was good for the blacks” McKinney would raise a creepy eyebrow at this shit.

    • AsmodeusMegatron permalink
      September 12, 2014 6:48 am

      Aw yeah. Now all they need is to bring out a custom D6 with pictures on the sides of watermellons, hip hop, a bucket of kentucky fried chicken, a cadellac, drugs and a basketball instead of numbers.

      • Angry Black Gamer permalink
        September 12, 2014 9:18 am

        Cadillac? Mother fucker everybody knows brothers drive a Lexus now. 😉

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      September 12, 2014 5:12 pm

      I smell a trend and it smells like Afro-Sheen. But what if I don’t have a ‘fro? Can I just rub ’em on my pubes instead? If I do it at the table it should keep people from touching my dice.

    • Mjollnir permalink
      September 13, 2014 8:02 am

      The sad irony is that Goodman’s going to get so much flak for being “racist” without actually producing anything a real racist would be interested in.

      The only people who this would appeal to is the Quentin Tarantino, blacksploitation loving hipster types.

      This is not what I adorn my house with-

      this is-

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 13, 2014 12:12 pm

        #ClosetGayNeoNaziPussies

      • justme permalink
        September 13, 2014 1:10 pm

        Got a canvas print of the e.b. laeighton piece hanging over the television. The smilley face on the knight’s back weirds me out every now and then.

      • Mjollnir permalink
        September 13, 2014 7:34 pm

        Calling someone a “faggot” is Hate Speech, and using the word “pussy” as an epithet is extremely Misogynistic and Sexist. What are you some kind of bigot?

      • i don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
        September 13, 2014 8:34 pm

        Ok, Picaninny is cool. The pre-raphaelites are the real racists, got it.

      • Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
        September 14, 2014 9:33 am

        Wow. Looks like something Anders Breivik would beat off to. Are all you “Crusader” white supremacist types in the closet?

      • Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
        September 14, 2014 9:44 am

        Speaking of Mr. Homicidal Fuckwit: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/anders-breivik-demands-better-video-games-and-threatens-hunger-strike-over-jail-hell-9130592.html

        Are all of y’all weaklings too? Except when it comes to killing defenseless people with guns? Then you guys get “super manly”….

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 14, 2014 2:29 pm

        Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you, the Master White Race.

      • Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
        September 15, 2014 2:56 pm

        Wow, so Breivik isn’t pure enough for a real racist! True, he only had it in him to commit “white-on-white” crime, being too scared of actual brown-skinned folks to actually confront them. He loves him some pure white knight crusader imagery though.

        http://www.itv.com/news/2012-04-18/breivik-the-crusader-claims-allegiance-to-the-knights-templar/

        Your “Breivik is a Zionist” response compares nicely with the creator of FATAL replying to accusations of FATAL being a date rape game with “where’s the dating.” Keep the educational racism coming, Thor’s “hammer”. You may be our new Kent! But way less self-aware!

      • Mjollnir permalink
        September 15, 2014 4:46 pm

        Weren’t the Templars the first “International Bankers”? and weren’t they charged with Sodomy (among other things)? So Breivik (a Zionist) worships international banker sodomites. What’s this got to do with me?

        I freely admit to be a racist and anti-semite. So what’s your point?

        (I patiently await apologies from everyone who embarrassed themselves by calling me “gay/homo/fag”. Now it’s clear for all to see that I’M not the one surfing and posting gay porn)

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 16, 2014 8:09 pm

        ~goose steps

  35. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 12, 2014 11:27 am

    He should have played it safe and just made it so you rub a fat chink’s belly for luck. So solly, Ching Chong!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 12, 2014 4:35 pm

      Ching Chongs, Wing Wongs, and all kinds of Ting Tongs!

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        September 12, 2014 6:12 pm

        Don’t forget my friend Wang, no offense…

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 12, 2014 9:13 pm

        Or my friend Dong.
        Oh Howard, there’s a Chinaman on your lawn!

      • justme permalink
        September 13, 2014 10:48 am

        Long duk dong had more fun than 30% of the people I went to highschool with. Sure he hooked up with the gargantuan amazon chick but unlike most D&D players of the era he sealed the deal with a member of the opposite sex before graduating college.

  36. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 12, 2014 2:20 pm

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=67692

    All the downers and bummers on DF start rolling in like oranges. Those oranges are grey, by the way.

    Buck up, doom and gloomers! The world is going to hell and within a decade or two we’ll all be hurtin’ before we exit this world.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 12, 2014 4:29 pm

      Milo is trying to take Blooey’s Pity Party crown! NOT ON MY WATCH!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 12, 2014 4:34 pm

      ThePerilousDreamer sez “I spent my entire childhood in a very dark place…”
      Oh I bet you did you psychotic walking FREAK SHOW.

      My advice to Milo, ThePerilousDreamer et al:

      Suicide is PAINLESS. It brings on many CHANGES. You should take it, not leave it, if you can.

      • justme permalink
        September 13, 2014 3:42 am

        Suicide isnt painless it hurts everyone who actually gives a shit. If someone wants to be remembered as the killer of everything they could have been its the way to go. ,
        No one gets out alive so every grey morning you draw a breath is a victory. Every meal is fueling up to tell the world “Fuck You I’m still aliive.”.
        To anyone stuck in a rut:Stop doing it like that. Do something else what you are doing isn’t working not because you aren’t happy, but because you are enegaged in being unhappy.
        In 150 yeears 99.99% of us are dead and forgotten, no one should be in a rush to be meaningless and forgotten quicker.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 13, 2014 7:50 am

        You are right, justme. Suicide is not a joke. I shouldn’t have joked about it so flippantly.

      • Mjollnir permalink
        September 13, 2014 8:23 am

        It just goes to show that even the sadistic trolls at YDIS aren’t as fucked up as the jews that run Hollywood.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        September 13, 2014 9:52 am

        Mjollnir, buddy? WW2 is over. The nazi’s lost bro. Time to put down the Panzerfaust and partake of the Humus.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 13, 2014 11:47 am

        #NeoNaziPussyFags

      • Mjollnir permalink
        September 13, 2014 7:23 pm

        PrinceofNothing – You don’t have to tell me the good guys lost WW2. Hell, America has a bisexual, communist mullato for a president and Europe is calling bizarre creatures like “Conchita Wurst” a beauty queen. Pakis are raping thousands of English girls in Rotherham and the anti-White regime in the UK imprisons Nick Griffin for saying anything about it.

        So yes, WW2 was a catastrophic loss, but the War isn’t over. The War to defend Truth, Beauty, Order and Nature will never end until the perverse reign of The Enemy is overthrown or every last White person perishes. Hence the global agenda of White Genocide through Immigration, Integration and “Assimilation”.

        But there is one thing I do know, and that is that The Enemy loses in the end. The truth will out.

        #HitlerWasRight

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 13, 2014 9:13 pm

        #NoHomoNazis

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      September 12, 2014 7:05 pm

      It is a tough crowd at this place, so sympathy might be tougher to find than virginity at Zak’s place, but almighty “look at me” Isis what is the fuck up with the

      “I’m so sad, lost my scholarship, can’t get out of bed, blah, blah…edit:PS Plus, also, my sister died.”

      Yeah, I get he is struggling, but your family dying should be more central to your world view than your fucking GPA.

      Fuck.

  37. Scott permalink
    September 13, 2014 12:15 am

    Jesus fucking Christ what is this shit? What is wrong with you people??

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 13, 2014 7:41 am

      ~vibes

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 13, 2014 8:07 am

      Our GPAs have dropped, that’s what’s wrong.

    • September 13, 2014 12:15 pm

      Haha last month you invited everyone here to your wedding lol 🙂

      • Scott permalink
        September 16, 2014 7:47 pm

        Honestly I have no idea what I was even talking about there, I don’t even remember making that comment

      • Scott permalink
        September 16, 2014 7:48 pm

        (The “what the shit is wrong with you people??” post. I totally remember inviting everyone to my wedding. Kind of. It’s not happening in October now, tho.)

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      September 13, 2014 4:03 pm

      10/4 Good Buddy!

      Don’t worry, chances are slim that we have already infiltrated the caterers, and replaced the menu with cheetos and Dr. Pepper and the cake with a nude Gygax sculpted by Fonzie’s neice.

      • justme permalink
        September 13, 2014 5:16 pm

        The cheetos and Dr Pepper are for the ride to the hotel…

  38. justme permalink
    September 13, 2014 10:52 am

    I really want to know what these folk over here http://www.landoverbaptist.org. would think of Venger Satanis because they make everyone here at YDIS look like absolute beginners when it comes to winning the interwebs.

    • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
      September 13, 2014 5:49 pm

      Always loved that site.

      In other news, my GPA has dropped.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 14, 2014 3:48 am

        ~vibes

      • justme permalink
        September 14, 2014 9:53 am

        My GPA hasnt been relevant since grunge was all the rage.
        To youngsters out there fretting about their soon to be irrelevant GPA scores about 50% of college grads don’t get a job in their field in the first 2 years. 5 years out 25% don’t and probably never will. So cheer up beyond getting other folks to foot some of your college bills it’s not too likely to matter.

        What do you call the person with the lowest GPA of their graduating class in med school?
        Doctor.

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 12:38 am

        justme is correct based on my n=1, but if you’re not a dipshit, that’s good, not bad.

        When I graduated from high school, I was 15 and a sophomore in college based on “dual enrollment.” Promptly melted brain, went to four different colleges and didn’t get first BA (at a “not prestigious” state school) until 11 years after high school graduation. Went from always being youngest person at every party to always being oldest person at every party. Picked up another useless BA on the way, went to (“not prestigious”) law school, made bones, now doing fine.

        A degree is no guarantee of even basic employment in your discipline … NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR FAGGY GPA OR UNIVERSITY.

        But the freeing flipside is that no matter how poopy your pedigree, if you’re good at what you do: NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR FAGGY GPA OR UNIVERSITY.

        One man’s lack of guarantee of success is another man’s lack of guarantee of mediocrity. If you can make or save someone money, the system does not care if you’re the son of a Ugandan green monkey. The market is saturated with ____, but it is not saturated with good ____.

        The takeaway is that I don’t drink good beer because good beer thinks it’s better than me. Fuck you, good beer

  39. justme permalink
    September 13, 2014 6:21 pm

    The Croods was a simple but enjoyable film, I will get back to that later.
    Sometimes I forget what it’s like to talk to a pretentious ass but Alexis reminds me again an again. As a member of the middle class when I read about shooting SO2 high up into the atmosphere I wonder what the delivery system would be, how much would be needed , and how to monitor the impact (and if there would be anyway to adjust meaningfully afterward) but surely such notions are an illusion based on education, imagination, and the limited imagination of my social class.
    The Croods was a story about growing up and how children maturing causes the whole family to mature but I guess someone would have to be a mentally healthy adult to understand that.
    Oh Alexis I just can’t quit you. http://tao-dnd.blogspot.com/2014/09/coming-to-end.html?m=1

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      September 14, 2014 7:56 pm

      I would totally have nailed Daughter Crood. I think. Fuck. Well, the actress who voiced her is porkable. Fuck. It WAS Emma Stone, right? Not some fugly dyke like Janine Garafalo, right? Thinking about Eamma would help me make it through boinking a caveman chick.

      • justme permalink
        September 15, 2014 3:49 am

        Way too many family issues to get tangled up with. It’s hard to. “run out of gasoline” during the mammoth hunt with the whole family ttagging along.

    • September 15, 2014 10:14 am

      The delivery system, as well as other posited solutions to global warming, are included in the book, Superfreakonomics, referenced several times throughout the post in question. The proposal is not mine. It was suggested by professional, premiere people in their selected fields.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 15, 2014 10:59 am

        “NOW, we must not invent anything else, because new things will clearly have repercussions we do not – and cannot – understand.” – Alex Qaeda claims this is what your typical middle class dude thinks.

        Nobody makes this claim. Nobody. It is your perceived superiority to those around you (the “middle class”) that renders you unable to comprehend what people are saying to you in plain English, and makes it so easy for you to lie about what they are saying.

        And you are lying about this. As you lie so often when characterizing arguements you cannot comprehend (which seems to be the majority).

        And you think that is acceptable.

        If only you had the wisdom to see yourself as you really are…HAHAHA, never mind, that is pure fantasy.

        Actually, keep on with your bullshit, Lexy, and we will occassionally link to you and give you the attention you are petulantly demanding is your due for being so much better than every other human being on Earth. Blow it out of your Khan Noonien-Singh-following ass.

        But for God’s sake, learn how to make a decent ommlette. And please include more videos of your attempts to do physical activities, like the kayaking video. I’d like to see you attempt waterskiing, or karate. Surely one of your fearful symmetry/mental acumen can post a clip of such an easily accomplished feat.

      • justme permalink
        September 15, 2014 2:22 pm

        What does that have to do with your pretentious and denegrading atitude to “the middle class” or my noting such issues here for this portion of your beloved audience?
        My comment wasn’t about the gases (aside from those I imagine you to spew in your confussed self defense and original bloviation) but highlighting the bigoted mischaracterization of “the middle class” in your post by pointing out it’s entirely possible to get different replies to a situation from a member of the middle class.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 16, 2014 8:43 am

        Alexass Pompass comes across as a pseudointellectual twat in that post. Even Zak S’s attempt to prove his intellectual relevance by copy and pasting his Art History 101 notes into a blog post was a better attempt. And here I was hoping that Alexis finally got his psych meds sorted out. Looks like he’s still the same old bloviating big fat Polack pre-op tranny he’s always been. 😦

  40. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    September 13, 2014 9:16 pm

    Congratulations to WotC for making inclusion and multiculturalism a big part of the launch of the newest edition of Dungeons & Dragons. Their latest video features two of the most underrepresented minorities in gaming: African Americans and Hot Chicks!

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 14, 2014 3:47 am

      Needs more good-luck Afro-rubbing dice…

    • kingofalltherotten permalink
      September 14, 2014 5:27 pm

      Wow, that even had an original song!
      I can see zakthehack furiously taking notes for the (in his mind) triumphant return of I Hit It With My Axe…..
      People actually talking about the game and not themselves, people with a grasp of the idea of pen and paper gaming, people enjoying themselves and not acting woodenly like they are having fun.

      Uh guys….we have a lot of work to do!

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      September 15, 2014 5:16 pm

      Any chick who plays D&D is automatically promoted to Hot Chick in the eyes of the Great Unwashed, even if she has bad teeth, a lazy eye, B.O. and weighs 350.

  41. death to gamers permalink
    September 15, 2014 4:31 pm

    All I know that is relevant to this blog is that ydis – the host – is a homosexual. Whether that undermines the stupid things you all say is for you, a very stupid bunch of queers, to tease out as stupidly as you can.

    • September 15, 2014 4:36 pm

      Hi Kent!

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 15, 2014 5:30 pm

        Well look who’s come crawling back, it’s Brandoch Durr Hurr. You said you were done with this place. What happened? You fucked up with the polite literary forums?

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 15, 2014 8:16 pm

        Brandoch Durr Hurr is fucking hilarious, but it breaks the naming theme.

        Please, DesDis, COUNT THE HEXES!

        How about kent becomes Bananarama Yeenoghu?

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 15, 2014 9:20 pm

        Ramabana is more Kent’s style.

      • September 15, 2014 9:22 pm

        Fuckin small touch screen and bigass fingers… Ram-a-Banana is more to Kent’s liking.

      • September 15, 2014 9:31 pm

        On further consideration, I believe that the only 80s cartoon villain that properly encapsulates Kent’s persona is Starscream. Both are bitchy, effete, fey, and treacherous. Maybe Starcream Stygia should be his cult name.

      • Scott permalink
        September 16, 2014 10:34 pm

        Brandoch Durr Hurr is pretty fucking funny, even hits the suggested pronunciation. I’d have also accepted Lord Puss, Shitfire, Holdme Blowslow, Lord Blo, King Whorice, Asslark, Fags Gay Fags, or Lady Lezrian

        And let’s not leave out Cringer

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 17, 2014 6:04 am

        Looks like somebody’s got The Cock Ouroboros half written already.

  42. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 15, 2014 7:14 pm

    Ah, the prodigal loser returneth.

  43. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    September 15, 2014 7:48 pm

    OK, I’ll sign up, but I want a black robe and a big goddamn hat. Calling dibs on Zarkon Zoth-Ommog.

    Also, NEEDS MOAR HORSE-PENIS.

  44. justme permalink
    September 16, 2014 4:23 am

    Say what you want about Venger Satanis but you have to admit the creepy bald dude engages with his audience and is trying to do something with other people. I could have missed a couple but I don’t recall any “most of you are too dumb to understand thiis” posts from him lately. Kent however: http://somekingskent.blogspot.com/2014/09/little-point-in-fantasy-forum.html?m=1
    Kent is promoting by insult, burning bridges, and generally scolding an audience he has decided to make his scribblings even more irrelevant to.

    • AsmodeusMegatron permalink
      September 16, 2014 6:10 am

      Haha! He took it down again! You are such a fag kent!

      (As an aside when you get over your hipster no more games for me phase and stop trying to set up a forum that will never exist nor draw an audience you will be pleased to know Deep Carbon Observatory finally made it to the internets, but i will reveal its location only if you admit you like sniffing your own fingers after scratching your nutsack).

    • September 16, 2014 6:13 am

      Aw, crap! He nuked his blog before I could read that post for giggles.

      • justme permalink
        September 16, 2014 6:54 am

        Nuking a blog is a great way to promote a new thing, isn’t it?

        Let me paraphrase what once was:
        Why bother sharing literature with gamers? Even gamers that do read are incapable of articulating their limited comprehension of the literature they have read. No links to the new thing for you intellectually challenegd gamers!

        It is almost as if he had alexass ghostwriting for him.

      • Asmodeus Megatron permalink
        September 16, 2014 7:50 am

        Justme, you make a lot of sense, but your lack of a cult name and your flagrant defiance in the face of conformity makes me distrust you for some reason. Starscream Yeenoghu sounds abso-fucking-lutely perfect.

        One should think Lexi and Kent make for natural allies. Both are pretentious literary fans, both reject anything that was made after 1980 and both have a reflexive dislike for gamers(despite the fact they are both exactly that) coupled with a hilarious over-estimation of their own cognitive ability. But ah las the insufferable twat path is a lonely one, and their twin hearts will never beat in cis-gender harmony.

        Fuck it, team up with Mjollnir, blackmail some players into joining your game(or hire illegal immigrants, if you can dupe Mjollnir, which should not be hard) and podcast the lot. One True Path: The Manifold adventures of The White Counts of Witchland and the cleansing of the Shadow Race. A pretentious Epic in far too many parts.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 16, 2014 10:44 am

        Kent, Lexi, and Mjollnir at the same table? That would degenerate into a Lemon Party LARP within two minutes.

  45. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 16, 2014 11:14 am

    Thanks a lot guys, now when Kunt shows up, real name or lame user handle, I’m going to be imagining his voice as Starscream/Cobra Commander.

    It’s hilarious that Ol’ Kunto occasionally tries his hand at trolling others with an online presence like we do, but when a little heat gets turned up on his crapola blog or whatever, it’s duck and cover time.

    Kunt, seriously, you lead a miserable existence. Everything you do is abject failure. Do yourself (and any living relatives you have) a favor and do what you were on here telling people to do a year or so ago. Fucking kill yourself. Go to that “Boo hoo I’m sad a lot” thread on DF, tell it on the mountain, and then hop in the tub and slit ’em. Turn on some Morrisey and drift away.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 16, 2014 12:21 pm

      Kent shouldn’t kill himself, he needs to move in with Blooey so he can learn some genuine joie d’vivre and the two of them can collaborate on the bestest dungeons ever.

      Put succinctly, he needs a Manic Pixie Dream Bloo to snap him out of his Hibernian funk.

    • Scott permalink
      September 16, 2014 9:26 pm

      So now I’m imagining Morrissey singing “Drift Away,” or Dobie Gray singing “Suedehead”

      True story: the night before I was supposed to meet my (now ex-)wife’s father for the first time, I promised I’d only drink like a six pack when I went out. I went like an hour? two? early to a Mojo Nixon show, ran into Mojo at the bar by himself washing down white crosses with Jaeger and sexually harassing the waitress and calling her Petunia. Helped him out with the crosses and Jaeger. Listened to him ramble about how he wanted to take up a collection to get Paul Westerberg to start drinking again.

      Anyway, he had a cover of “Girlfriend in a Coma” on the album he was touring for and we got him to play it during the “request some shit” part of the show. I two-stepped with a dude, but I led.

      Mojo’s a surprisingly good guitar player and can eat the fuck out of some ephedrine. I barfed the entire way through the winding WV roads to ex’s dad’s place, which is in the same county as the old National Alliance compound run by Dr. Pierce of Turner Diaries fame. Soon learned that ex’s dad was an actual hillbilly and wished I’d drank more.

      tl;dr: if you don’t got Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin

      • September 17, 2014 6:47 am

        BTW, do you have any anecdotes about Minnie Pearl?

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 10:37 am

        Man, I don’t even remember writing this one, so it’s possible. It’s been a rough week. 😦

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 17, 2014 11:01 am

        You need to move in with Blooey so you can learn some genuine joie d’vivre and the two of you can collaborate on the bestest dungeons ever.

        Put succinctly, you need a Manic Pixie Dream Bloo to snap you out of your Appalachian funk.

  46. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 16, 2014 11:41 am

    I saw a comment from one of The Unblown on a forum saying they watch some of this Frank Mentzer clip of him running a con game before they do a game for inspiration.

    Inspiring? After watching a few minutes, I realized this was terrible. He pretty much tells everybody what they are doing, describes character reactions himself, over describes the simplest shit, makes bad jokes for cheapo laughs, and pretty much seems to be running the game for himself. I know he has to deal with ‘tards like the gibbering mouth breather next to him and all, but shit. This does not look like fun D&D to me. This is a master of gaming? Is this how Gygax ran his games?

    Extra points though for what appears to be a younger Robert Downey at the table doing a Zak impersonation.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 16, 2014 7:03 pm

      You weren’t kidding. All the players did was roll a d6. Mentzer ignored everything the players said their characters were doing and made it up himself. Wow that was dull and uninspired.

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      September 16, 2014 7:23 pm

      This is the guy who was mad that the Dragoncon organizers hadn’t heard of him. The video is a good example of why they haven’t heard of him.

      • Hansgruber permalink
        September 18, 2014 6:43 pm

        To be fair the guy did write quite a few books and such for AD&D/D&D. you would think people in the hobby would have heard of him at least in passing.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      September 16, 2014 8:41 pm

      Jesus Fucking Muhammed Thor-Loviatar, that was boring. A bunch of vampire apocalypse rejects who managed to split their party and not open a secret door in 10 minutes. Oh and they found a big scary door. I bet the room beyond was empty.

      Just think how much they could accomplish in a whole hour. At least a combat, and subsequent body-cavity sarch. Plus one of them squirting in the corner.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        September 17, 2014 12:13 pm

        At one point a naked ogress (cue Frank’s attempts at sexual humor) opens the secret door into the two dwarves and sends them flying for failing a save vs. paralysis. That moment seems like it comes from the shittiest moment in some high school metalhead burnouts game. If this was just some totally unknown guy that room would empty out before 40′ of corridor got mapped. The drooling moron next to Frank would probably stay though. Be all like “you wanna be my friend?”

        This shit is almost hypnotic in it’s fail.

    • September 16, 2014 9:16 pm

      Jesus fucking Christ, those fifteen tards took 10 minutes to map a 30′ corridor and not open a door. If there’s a Hell, sitting through that has got to be it. I can’t imagine a single metric by which that experience provides value.

    • Unicron Ahrimanes permalink
      September 16, 2014 11:31 pm

      “He pretty much tells everybody what they are doing, describes character reactions himself, over describes the simplest shit, makes bad jokes for cheapo laughs, and pretty much seems to be running the game for himself. ”

      That’s not how you’re supposed to do it? But surely if I’m having my fun, that’s all that matters? I’m sure I read that on a blog somewhere, so it must be true.

    • Scott permalink
      September 18, 2014 11:52 am

      “when the stupid elf wasn’t able to find the door handle or whatever … maybe it slides backwards or forwards or something”

      “THAT WAS A JEST”

      a master practices his craft

  47. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    September 16, 2014 11:48 am

    It has been a while since we slut-shamed any Kickstarter backers. Who else thinks this might be Mjollnir?

    https://www.kickstarter.com/profile/1221625752

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 16, 2014 12:17 pm

      Not a chance, that guy backed a “bring back Reading rainbow” campaign- no way our self-hating gay Nazi would back that.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 16, 2014 6:40 pm

        Wasn’t there a pledge level to choose a book for a Reading Rainbow episode? Maybe he picked Mein Kampf?

  48. Scott permalink
    September 16, 2014 8:23 pm

    I bought Alexis’s book and am reading it. I like it so far. If I were working on a serious worldbuilding or campaign project, I’d find it very useful and I recommend it for that. It’s obviously not a literary masterwork but that’s not what’s on the tin.

    (Disclaimer: As usual, I’m a contrarian who enjoys his blog. In real life he’s probably an interesting guy to hang out with. I confess a “YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM FASCINATES ME” impression of some of the things he types.)

    Anyway, it’s unmistakably Alexis’s voice, so if you find him insufferable, or dislike self-congratulation and a light patina of manly affectations and Real Talk, you might not be able to deal. But you knew it was a rattlesnake when you picked it up.

    There are precious tics like “gentle reader” that make me twitch but whatever. Nothing deal-breaking. So far no weird tangents.

    So, basically, you should check it out if you have any application for GM advice … strikes me as an actually good version of that Robin Laws book from a while back. It also gets points for being a self-published gaming book without any shitty art. I have no idea if it’s been “pirated” (lol) and posted to any of the usual places (a practice I HATE btw), but there’s a sizable excerpt on Amazon.

    I will now pass the talking stick for any questions about the book or just any old thing.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 16, 2014 9:04 pm

      Gentle reader, I fear that talking stick was recently shared by Scott and Alexis as a double-ended dildo….

      #LemonPartyblOwSRStyle

      • Scott permalink
        September 16, 2014 9:08 pm

        ~vibrates

  49. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    September 16, 2014 8:57 pm

    Scottt, I appreciate your efforts at even-handedness, but what the god damned fuck is up with the “Zak/kent/Alex Qaeda are secret geniuseseses” stuff? They are demonstrably not (using their blogs as evidence).

    Think about your wedding…do you really want to have this “Lexi was right” mindset when you say “I do”? Are you really gonna look in her eyes and say, “Count the hexes, middle-class baby. And there is a disturbance in the Bavarian smithy”?

    • Scott permalink
      September 16, 2014 9:07 pm

      I’ve definitely never said that any of those folks are geniuses. (They may be, heck if I know.) I’ve simply said that I like them on a personal level, enjoy their output, or both. I like MANY things that aren’t the product of genius by any sane calculus.

    • Scott permalink
      September 16, 2014 9:12 pm

      Oh, and I posted that review as a comment on Alexis’s page. I doubt it’ll get published, and if it is, I suspect it’ll get published and truculently addressed, with any replies to the reply being lost in the moderation. Not super worried about it, just figured I’d let him know since I’m mentioning it over here and I don’t fucking say things if I mind people knowing, seems to defeat the purpose of speech.

      • September 16, 2014 9:26 pm

        I published it.

      • Scott permalink
        September 16, 2014 9:35 pm

        I never have any idea if anyone here is actually the person “listed” in the name info, but since it got published, that’s a pretty good index of credibility. Glad you published it, Alexis. Figured that since I was “reviewing” it that I should give the writer a heads up.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 16, 2014 9:50 pm

        ~healing

      • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
        September 16, 2014 10:22 pm

        But…but…Gary already published the definitive tome Role-Playing Mastery. What more could possibly be said that has not already been covered in the literature?

      • Scott permalink
        September 16, 2014 11:18 pm

        The only “advice” books I’ve ever read were “DICING WITH DRAGONS” (which sucked balls in every way other than having Russ Nicholson art) and the Robin Laws thing, which was – and I say this as a “I’m not looking for rigor in my hobbies” partisan – slanted to “if you’re having fun then you’re doing it right!” which may be correct but is hardly helpful. And I don’t need a gaming book to explicate basic storytelling premises with its spade-shaped flipper hands. I’d rather see a prescriptive point of view that actually works from a premise other than hippie shit, even if I ultimately think the premise is idiotic. (I can figure out that if we enjoy it, we’ll enjoy it. Hurrrr)

      • September 17, 2014 10:59 am

        Ah. Did my book do that?

      • September 17, 2014 12:20 pm

        My suspicion is that your recent turn toward congeniality is all about trying to turn this lark into something that puts some money in your pocket. These days you’re all about selling books and that requires building an audience, which means you gotta turn on the charm. Makes you look dopier than ever, but I get it. And it’s a new kind of dopey for you, at least — you may be an old dog, but you’re willing to learn new stupid tricks.

        However, I’m not ruling out new meds. Or a major life change — divorce, sudden unemployment, dire diagnosis, etc. Can you confirm what your deal is?

      • September 17, 2014 12:47 pm

        Actually, it was talking to more than two hundred total strangers about role-playing, none of whom were anything like you or other people I meet on line, YDIS. I had already come to grips with the fact that there were going to be people who hated me, that I couldn’t do anything about (which I posted on) after a long bout with how one really does deal with ‘having an audience’ as you say. I actually already have one, you know, evidenced by the number of books I’ve already sold (more than 150), the voices I hear in my email, my blog and on websites like Goodreads, etcetera. The gelling factor was getting an opportunity to talk to my REAL audience, the people who don’t spend time trashing people, flaming, screaming junk such as this blog does and of which I have done more than my share.

        I cannot express how good it was to talk to PEOPLE who just want to play a better game, who did not find the idea of a better game to be something unreachable or undesirable. People for whom none of the online tropes about roleplaying have touched.

        Sorry, no. No meds. I’m fundamentally opposed to medication. What you’re hearing and seeing from me is something you don’t believe in. A person changing their mind about something.

      • September 17, 2014 1:12 pm

        Plot twist: I WAS ONE OF THOSE STRANGERS YOU TALKED TO.

      • September 17, 2014 1:29 pm

        We’re just talking psychotropics, right? Like, if you had a kid you would get them vaccinated? Or if you get really sick, you’re okay with visiting the doctor for antibiotics? Just trying to give Scott a better look at your belief system…

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 17, 2014 1:10 pm

        So talking to your audience changed your mind…and yet you still rage and lie about what the “middle class” thinks, because they are all interchangeable robots with the exact same thoughts. So your new found friends are all in the upper and lower class, eh? Or hipsters to a man?

        You’re still full of shit, Alex Qaeda. Putting words in people’s mouths they never said. Unless you can back up your assertation that YDIS doesn’t belive people can change their minds.

        And you have no qualms about telling these lies. Just like always.

        So, no, you haven’t changed, despite the staggering, titanic total of books you claim to have sold.

      • September 17, 2014 1:19 pm

        Well, one of us hasn’t changed.

        Good on you, YDIS. You did an excellent job of behaving in a respectful, considerate manner. I appreciate that.

      • September 17, 2014 1:33 pm

        As a reward for my good behavior, will you share with us another story from your days playing softball? (Maybe you still play?) There was one blog where you briefly mentioned some Casey-esque exploits and I’ve been fascinated ever since.

      • September 17, 2014 1:42 pm

        One last thing, for Scott and Lexy — you guys need to choose your Church of Cthulhu name. “Voldemort Azrael?” “Serpentor Lucifrenzy?” Anything that sounds like a Chaos Marine or something Kent would shout when climaxing is fine…

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 3:00 pm

        Alexis, I haven’t finished the book yet. Probably will tonight as I crush beers and brood. I’ve never thought of myself as a particularly good setting designer or GM and have always (vocally) opined that people who enjoy my stuff need to set the bar higher. So it’s a subject of interest to me.

        We have very different ideas about the necessity of taking games seriously – not saying that taking them seriously is silly or “I could do that if I tried but I don’t want to!”, I have no idea if I could or not. I just don’t think a lack of rigor renders the pursuit a farce.

        I am enthusiastic about implementing many of the suggestions, though. I’d rather read something with what I consider flawed premises that are at least premises than some waffly sunbeam horseshit that takes no position.

        This place *is* overly congenial the last couple days 😦

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 4:27 pm

        Oh, and Alexis, re: meds, are you fundamentally opposed to taking meds or to the administration of meds in general? I’ve been diagnosed, to the surprise of no one, with bipolar disorder and PTSD. My bipolar disorder is severe and crippling without meds, and life-altering even with meds. It complicates my navigation through life in all ways. The kind of bipolar that’s basically ups and downs? That’s not the kind I’ve got. My manic episodes are terrifying and leave a trail of wreckage and my depressive episodes are life-threatening in a different way.

        I would literally rather die than go back to my life before prescribed medication. I’m on the maximum clinical dose of my bipolar meds (and yup, that makes my current spate of self-medication a bad bet). I have NO doubt that I’d either be dead or in some room that locks from the outside if I weren’t on them. I can understand being “against” medications on an individual personal level, and I’m not a “YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND” person in 99.9% of contexts, but this is a case where if you haven’t dealt with that devil from the inside, there’s no way you can have a frame of reference for judging psychotropics’ application to severe cases.

        I’m not being hyperbolic.

      • September 17, 2014 6:48 pm

        When I was very young, my parents were pressured towards putting me on ritalin. They refused, arguing that it was unnecessary. This was 1974, when the use of ritalin was experimental, clumsy and in cases criminal.

        I have never experienced any of the symptoms you describe, Scott, but I’ve seen others experience them. I am opposed to the use of drugs where it comes to my behaviour, a phrase I used given the context described above.

      • September 17, 2014 6:59 pm

        I guess I’m not going to get any softball stories 😦

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 8:10 pm

        Psych meds are overprescribed. That’s not intelligently disputable.

        My doctors prescribe me anything I ask them to, in the doses I ask them to. I tell them I’d like to try jacking my dose of ____ up by 100 mg and they essentially say “k” and write the scrip. Perversely, my candor with them regarding my abuse history makes them *more* pliable in that respect … I’ve refused scrips for benzos often enough, despite their opinions that they’d help my symptoms, that they give credence to my other ideas about what I should be prescribed, presumably with the theory that since I don’t want prescriptions I know I have problems with, I’m not getting weird with the things I ask for.

        I’m actually *not* getting weird with the med game – I refuse benzo scrips because I should not have unfettered access to those, although I do abuse them sometimes. But psych practice is a black-box and is not remotely precise or predictive by any measure that other medical disciplines would recognize. It’s meatball surgery.

        Most docs (“most” psychiatrists, and ALL GPs I’ve ever dealt with) pop out of the room or check the laptop, hit the crib notes from the DSM, and barf out meds by rote based on a ten minute self-report. It’s very easy for a smart guy with any instinct for grift to game the system. In the old days, I’ve had docs prescribe me things that are IDIOTIC to prescribe to me. Like Adderall and phentermine … couldn’t pick worse things to give me. (I do still pop Adderalls for specific situations but it’s terribly irresponsible.)

        (A common practice with professional couples is for one partner to present one set of symptoms and the other to present symptoms on the other end of the spectrum to cover all the med abuse options.)

        So yeah, I understand an individual policy of not touching that shit, and the psych profession is pretty goofy. I was a mental hygiene commissioner for a while, the entire system is frightening. Don’t get me started on how easy it is here to get someone involuntarily committed.

        Just didn’t know if you meant “I don’t touch that shit” or “no one should touch that shit.” I *have* to and am thankful every day for Western medicine.

        (I’m talkative as shit because I’m feeling kinda gutshot and have been drinking and insomniac every night this week.)

      • September 17, 2014 8:58 pm

        Well, sounds like you’re in a place that’s kind of not-super-chill right now. Not sure what emoticon to use here… maybe smiley-face-guy-sticks-finger-into-butt-then-pulls-it-out-and-smells-it-and-is-comically-rendered-unconscious-by-revolting-odor? Should we take shifts here talking to you all night? KENT! *clap-clap* FRONT AND CENTER! Do that little Silence of the Lambs dance you do, with your schwong tucked back. AMUSE US.

    • Scott permalink
      September 17, 2014 9:31 pm

      Nah, I’m fine, just staying in a pleasant haze and channeling my Tortured Leather Jacket Milhouse

  50. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    September 16, 2014 9:35 pm

    This video brings everything at YDIS full circle.

  51. death to gamers permalink
    September 16, 2014 9:35 pm

    Wouldn’t it be funny though if this community of angry coughing hetero-pretenders, a community of buttock slapping and stroking male friends – cough cough – turned out to be lead by a RANK ONE homo like the host of ydis, a pure homosexual in the real world.

    That would make all of you a bunch of faaaaaaaaaaaags.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 16, 2014 9:51 pm

      Hi Kent!
      ~cumdrops

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 17, 2014 8:08 am

      Generally speaking, your fag-bashing comments would be more convincing if they didn’t read like gay erotica. Going into detail about buttock stroking while calling Simone else a fag undermines your attempted insult, making it sound like an inept come-on.

  52. Scott permalink
    September 16, 2014 10:26 pm

    What do all y’all fuckers do for a living, anyway? I remember the doctor who I don’t think posts here anymore, and for some reason I think Kent is/was a post-grad mathematician or something like that, and I’ve rambled drunkenly about my profession, but I’m terrified/bonerized by the prospect of every single person here being in charge of something important, like the early 4chan and current torchan /b/ days that chill me to the bone 😦 Is fellationatrix a thing?

    • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
      September 16, 2014 11:08 pm

      I’m a super-spy. Technically I work for the Special Activities Division/Special Operations Group of the National Clandestine Service of the Central Intelligence Agency. When I’m on duty (which is always) I wear a kevlar-weave tuxedo with spring-loaded pistols in my sleeves. I speak 19 languages (including tribal dialects), can start a fire by rubbing my toe-nails together and can kill a man by wiggling my ears. I drive a bulletproof Bugatti Veyron SS with twin machine guns fore and aft, pop-out tire shredders and a miniature Sub-Zero fridge with room for a Champagne magnum and two glasses.

      I like to play Elfie-Welfie games to unwind. Having constant sex with international fashion models sounds great, but trust me guys, it gets old real quick.

      • justme permalink
        September 17, 2014 4:41 am

        Do what I did ditch the models and go for the dancers, much more energy and muscle control.

      • Hansgruber permalink
        September 18, 2014 6:52 pm

        I think he meant real life, not your last Top Secret S.I. character.

    • Unicron Ahrimanes permalink
      September 16, 2014 11:35 pm

      Rest assured that I am barely in charge of my own life, let alone anything important. I aspire to being a full-time benefit scrounger, but for some reason the free four bedroom house and tax-free twenty grand per annum plus free prescription drugs have never materialised for me. Perhaps I need a dozen idiot children or something.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 17, 2014 5:44 am

      I’m the Mother Superior of a small community of Carmelite nuns with coprolalia. Pax vobiscum, my son- shit piss fuck.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      September 17, 2014 6:50 am

      I’m naked.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 17, 2014 7:44 am

      I am the Executive Director of a holocaust survivor memorial museum dedicated to tolerance in a mid sized city. We currently have special exhibits featuring the history of the Civil Rights Movement in the 1950’s and 1960’s, as well as the Gay Rights Movement starting with Stonewall. We are committed to preventing any more children becoming socially impotent mental midgets like Mjollnir, G-d willing.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 17, 2014 7:44 am

        Or self-loathing faggots, like Kent.

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 3:56 pm

        If you’re serious, that’s pretty cool. I personally am a yolocaust survivor

      • Hansgruber permalink
        September 18, 2014 6:54 pm

        I had family that dies ad Auschwitz during the winter of ’44. seems all the snow that year made the ladders really slippery and he fell out of a guard tower and broke his neck.

    • Goliath Beyonder permalink
      September 17, 2014 7:29 pm

      I’m just happy to finally find a place where people won’t make fun of my name

    • i don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
      September 18, 2014 6:12 am

      As a fellow traveler (mental illness), I wish you all the best Scott. I’d tell you to stay away from those benzos but I’m too busy scoffing molly. I also do odd jobs, content/copy writing and tutoring college students in sociology and english.

      • Scott permalink
        September 18, 2014 8:02 am

        I appreciate it, I’m usually not a maudlin pussy about things but it’s been a rough week and I’ve been drunk … I think I’ve sufficiently wallowed and will not be making a regular practice of whining about my personal shit in the comments section, promise

      • i don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
        September 18, 2014 8:31 am

        It’s cool and understandable. I’d prefer you whine than any darker alternatives. I’d be fucking creeped out if anybody here or anywhere didn’t.

    • September 18, 2014 4:53 pm

      Most boring: I’m a programmer. I saved a bunch of money from my last day job and have had some lucrative contracts, so I’ve taken a few years off from the grind. Technically that means unemployed, I suppose. Hilariously enough, on my last stint of probation, my controller insisted that I had to show him proof of income every month, so I brought in my bank statement and asked why I should be working. He shut up quickly, stuck to his guns, so I just printed out fake cheque stubs. I hate this world.

  53. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    September 17, 2014 6:53 am

    Scottt, is your wedding really postponed? I hope it is not cancelled, dude. Unless you are the one who cancelled it.

    Not that your wedding is about me or anything, but these latex sumo costumes do not come cheap, and if I won’t be wearing it in WV I need to find another outlet for my Kuntzian creativity.

    • Scott permalink
      September 17, 2014 11:03 am

      Postponed to indefinite future date. No butthurt.

      • September 17, 2014 12:10 pm

        😦

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 12:54 pm

        Eh, shit happens … mutual thing, still together and doing OK-ish, just stepping back a little

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 17, 2014 1:12 pm

        Sorry to hear it, dude. Hope things get better than OKish.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 17, 2014 1:20 pm

        Here’s hoping you work things out and get past this rough patch.

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 3:54 pm

        Thanks for the ~vibes. I fully expect that “The Secret” DVD to yield dividends any moment now

        (I’m almost more comfortable with people being weird assholes, a la YDIS’s “I need more fap pics of your girl” post. Shit’s freakin me out.)

      • September 17, 2014 4:06 pm

        I mean, now that she’s single, that’s not a problem right?

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 4:09 pm

        wasn’t a problem before

        #cuckold

  54. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 17, 2014 12:45 pm

    Scott, you seem like genuinely good guy. I’ve know folks in groups of my friends who don’t seem to have a problem with even the biggest douche bags that everybody hates (usually hated for good reason). But I usually assume the are just Machiavellian sociopaths who’s mother taught them to be nice to everybody cause you never know who you might need to use in the future. But I don’t get that vibe from you. It’s refreshing and I wish you well. So even if you love this woman, though you may have discovered that her past makes the 90 lb. cheerleaders in the Little White Chicks and Big Black Monster Dicks videos look like the Virgin Mary, I hope ultimately you find some at least fleeting happiness with her, married or not.

    As that cocksman Zarkon’ll tell you, “show me the most beautiful woman in the world, and I’ll show you a guy who is tired of fucking her.” So don’t feel compelled to rush into that good night of marriage. You might end up like Kent. All fucked-up and whoozy on meds and booze, getting yelled at by a big fat wifey like the headmaster from The Wall.

    • Scott permalink
      September 17, 2014 2:48 pm

      That’s very kind, I appreciate it, no homo. (Slight homo.) I’m obviously a deeply, deeply fucked up and damaged person but despite that (or because of it) I’m pretty understanding about people’s foibles and their fucked up urges and cruel streaks. Everyone’s got their shit.

      (Treating people well is *definitely* not something I learned from my family except by counter-example.)

      My girlfriend’s the one if there is one, life’s just a weird thing and sometimes you have to take a step back and let the weirdness flow by.

  55. Destro Dispater permalink
    September 17, 2014 1:42 pm

    This place sure turned into a love-fest all of a sudden. We have a congenial Alexis commenting here, and an outpouring of support for Scott. Any minute now, I expect Kent to announce his Rose Estes fan site and Mjollnir to start gushing about his new Ethiopian-Israel boyfriend.

    ~vibes
    ~vibes
    ~vibes

  56. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 17, 2014 3:49 pm

    I’ll go let Venger Vagitosis buy me a milkshake (his total lack of any kind of charisma would surely keep me safe from cultish brainwashing), but if he’s alone with it for even a few seconds I’ll refuse to touch it. He looks like somebody who expresses his evil by firing a snot rocket in the food, or even beat off into it.

  57. death to gamers permalink
    September 17, 2014 4:28 pm

    The word ‘faggots’ sounds great. It looks fine on the screen too, but it SOUNDS superfun to say. Then you remember to put ‘bunch of …’ in front of it … so it kinda goes like this, ‘bunch of faggots’. Perfect. There is so much music there already, and yet the phrase begs to be sung with disdain, a light disdain, we are singing in amusement.

    But that is not all. There is more fun where that came from.

    Then I get to come *here*, no place more suitable I hear you say (except for Fear of the Unknown who never knows quite what is going on). Are you ready for it? Yes, it’s only on the screen but I know you can hear my music in your heads. Here goes …

    You are a … bunch of faggots … and Fear of the Unknown is your Retard.

    • Scott permalink
      September 17, 2014 4:32 pm

      It hasn’t happened since my last reset to factory defaults, but for some reason my last iPhone install autocorrected “faggot” to “faggotron” … awesome but baffling, what is the phone saying? What is it readying the way for?

      • death to gamers permalink
        September 17, 2014 4:47 pm

        Don’t know why that happened but I do know that a “faggotron” is a fundamental particle.

      • justme permalink
        September 17, 2014 4:53 pm

        Faggotron, that’s the pink transformer stuck in the shape of a mini cooper with a loose trunk.

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 5:02 pm

        I used to handle virtually every juvenile sexual abuse or assault case (cases of sexual abuse or assault *by* juvies, not of them, although other juvies were most often the victims) in this county, the capitol county of WV. That’s a lot of little rapists. One year when it was BAD, my phone autocorrected to “sisterfucker” as soon as it hit the “f”

        (Btw it wasn’t just a stereotypical WV inbred white trash phenomenon, black kids made up at least half of that caseload)

      • Mjollnir permalink
        September 17, 2014 6:29 pm

        The ever reliable wikipedia says that Blacks comprise ~7% of the population of Kanawha County, with Whites being ~90%.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanawha_County,_West_Virginia

        This means that if blacks made up 50% of the caseload, then they commit such crimes at 714% the “average” rate.

        Black (50 / 7 = 7.14 or 714%)

        In comparison these numbers show that Whites commit such crimes at 55% of the “average” rate.

        White (50 / 90 = 0.55 or 55%)

        But if you notice this, and want to live in a White community, you’re a naziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews.

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 7:15 pm

        A very important thing to note is that sexual offenses (juvie or adult) are a small enough segment of a reasonably active criminal caseload that my eyeball impressions can’t be extrapolated very far. This is also a virtually crime-free city compared to true metropolises.

        But yes, in terms of raw numbers, a disproportionate number of my clients were black. And a disproportionate number were whites below the poverty line. I also handled a lot of meth cases and if you took them out of the pool, the number of indictments each term would decrease by a third maybe? A lot. Methamphetamine is far more of a problem here than violent crime. Honestly, we don’t have a meaningful amount of serious violent crime here, and the defendants and alleged victims almost always know each other.

        (I have no agenda here one way or the other, it’s just the way it is.)

      • September 18, 2014 5:03 pm

        Move south a bit and the drug of choice becomes heroin. Well, since the oxys and opanas disappeared into the great abuse-proof void, anyway. Dog the Bounty Hunter is coming to pray for us. That will be great for how outsiders perceive WV, right? I mean, he’s a celebrity and they just want to help, right?

        Here the MI tags almost outnumber the WV ones.

      • Scott permalink
        September 18, 2014 5:27 pm

        Muttley, are you the guy over in Huntington? We’ve also had a summer of the Unidentified Black Male from Detroit to the point I didn’t drink downtown for a few months… hot summer + arrivistes with no respect for local drug culture etiquette or chain of command + clubs getting blacker for the season + a few shootings = bad place for “retired” tattooed white kid with bad self-preservation instincts. Few years ago I started a riot on Capitol Street.

        Anyway, if you’re over there, we should get fucked up some time and hit the Waffle House.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 17, 2014 5:26 pm

  58. Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
    September 17, 2014 4:42 pm

    Kum bay ya, my Lord, kum bay ya:
    Kum bay ya, my Lord, kum bay ya:
    Kum bay ya, my Lord, kum bay ya:
    O Lord, kum bay ya.

  59. Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
    September 17, 2014 7:39 pm

    Getting back on track here, might I recommend to our Gentle Readers the free downloadable RPG: Violence by Designer X? It’s D&D set in contemporary culture and allows you to loot, rape and murder grannies, moms with children, illegal immigrants, etc. The NPC category “Potential Scum” includes Blacks, Hispanics, Fags & Dykes, and so on. Perfect for developing a custom-crafted campaign to fit your rancorous lifestyle.

  60. Cthulu's stinking Aos permalink
    September 17, 2014 8:56 pm

    The boredom of the off season has set in, so it’s back to watching beardos.

    For ckdb
    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=30471

    @Scott I am overeducated and underemployed. I work mostly as a biology or archaeology field technician, but usually only for about half the year. My degrees are in the latter. This year was bio, though, because contract archaeology has yet to recover from whatever the fuck happened in 2008. Anyway, I walk around in the desert a lot, usually between 10 to 20 miles a day, looking for shit. Sometimes I get to to dig holes.

    • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
      September 17, 2014 11:45 pm

      WTH, you’re Indiana Jones? Can I change mine? I want to be an astronaut instead.

      • Aos permalink
        September 18, 2014 7:25 am

        Only if you hate money.

  61. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    September 17, 2014 9:05 pm

    😡

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      September 18, 2014 3:30 am

      God-motherfucking dammit all the good vibes attracted Scott and now there is nary a Hateful snarl or a disgusted hissing to be found. I take full responsibility. I said good things about both Zak and Alexis first. I broke the motherfucking dam. If i don’t stop this fucking garbage right here right now you’ll all be on your knees giving blowjobs to Kent soon.

      Hello Scott. You need to realign our emotional balance by telling us about something you can’t possibly like, yet other people still do. Like Pundit! Regardless of what earlier merit he may have possessed, 5e era Pundit is loud, hypocritical, idiotic, repetetive, shameless, repetetive and repetititve. Tell us your opinion Scott.

      http://therpgpundit.blogspot.nl/2014/09/the-osr-storygames-and-attacks-on-5e-d.html

      -As for jobs, I’m following a masters degree in psychology and my last job was doing a study on the effect of a new pre-selection procedure on the dropout rate in a highschool.

      -Vibes on the marriage situation.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 18, 2014 6:29 am

        The pundit is a hypocritical lying piece of shit, just like Zakinthebox and Alex Qaeda.

        Maybe if there was a massacre of children, he would cheer up?

      • Scott permalink
        September 18, 2014 7:42 am

        I’ve heard that guy mentioned a lot but I honestly have no idea who he is …

      • Hansgruber permalink
        September 18, 2014 7:00 pm

        I do not really know much about Pundit but the fact that he keeps some of the regular posters here on YDIS so spun up and mad makes me kinda like him.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        September 19, 2014 8:31 am

        “I’ve heard that guy mentioned a lot but I honestly have no idea who he is …”

        He’s John Tarnowski. Let everyone know.

  62. Scott permalink
    September 17, 2014 10:02 pm

    • Scott permalink
      September 17, 2014 10:04 pm

      Bah I was trying to provide a divertin image of my angel Taylor Swift but apparently I don’t know how to work this fuckin spaceship

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 10:07 pm

        Let’s try this again, I feel like my ability to post images here may become germane

        [IMG]http://i59.tinypic.com/2vdmtd4.jpg[/IMG]

      • Scott permalink
        September 17, 2014 10:09 pm

        Eh fuck it she’s not meant for earthly dross

      • September 17, 2014 11:14 pm

        Here it is, Jesus do I have to do everything for you:

        http://s1281.photobucket.com/user/doodlenuts/media/tao_zpse4b07b82.png.html

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 18, 2014 2:15 am

        I met her once, soon after her first album came out. She came to my place of employment. Not being a fan, I didn’t recognize her. One of my coworkers made the ID after I’d finished dealing with her.

        I’d have to say that she’s a perfectly nice, low-key girl, she didn’t make a big deal about herself- I would never have guessed that she was a celebrity.

      • Scott permalink
        September 18, 2014 5:35 pm

        It’d be cool to meet Larry Bird or Dale Murphy or Sugar Ray Leonard, but there are two celebrities in the world I’d mark out for: Burt Reynolds and Dusty Rhodes

  63. Scott permalink
    September 17, 2014 11:45 pm

    It wasn’t about the picture, man, it was about the gesture 😦 are you a wizard?

  64. Unkindness to Gamers permalink
    September 18, 2014 4:27 am

    If any of you faggots were capable of working for a living you would be in a position to support this talented writer,

    • September 18, 2014 7:28 am

      Why don’t these fuckers script their fucking videos?

  65. Unkindness to Gamers permalink
    September 18, 2014 5:19 am

    Ha Haa.

    Definition time. Define the three kinds of rpg gamer:

    Passively Dumb
    http://odd74.proboards.com/posts/recent

    Plain Dumb (faggots)
    https://yourdungeonissuck.wordpress.com

    Actively Dumb
    http://knights-n-knaves.com/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=12571

    Ha Haa.

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      September 18, 2014 6:32 am

      Gay dumb:

      http://somekingskent.blogspot.com/

      I have had my fun, that is all that matters.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 18, 2014 9:13 am

      In the kingdom of the brainless, the man with one cerebral hemisphere is king. By your own admission, you’re no king, just some king’s Kent, the lowly, brainless outcast, sadly gazing down at the palace in Brainlessburg and impotently plotting a coup.

      • Unicron Ahrimanes permalink
        September 20, 2014 1:29 am

        ~vibes, brother Destro. All the ~vibes.

  66. AsmodeusMegatron permalink
    September 18, 2014 8:08 am

    http://www.tao-dnd.blogspot.nl/2014/09/the-door-slammed-in-your-face.html

    I guess the meds wore off, Jesus Lexis.

    “It is for this reason that only the crappiest of religions (and certain other low-brow charities) go door-to-door. If, for example, I am collecting for liver cancer, sooner or later I’ll find someone who’s recently had a relative suffering from or recently passed away from complications of the liver. Bang, money in my pocket.”

    I was under the naive impression charities went door to door because they are generally trying to collect as much as they can so more people can be helped with their liver cancer you obese tranny fuck. Perhaps you don’t believe in charity since no person in their right mind would ever consider donating to a charity that benifts you, and would in fact donate money to aggrevate whatever loathsome malady happens to metastasize in your bloated, semen-riddled bowels.

    This also reveals Alexis’s insipid psychology in all its glory.

    “From the whole comment, James seems to suggest that I (or someone, it’s not clear) am making assumptions about 4e that are, apparently, wrong. Let me start by reassuring any of my readers that anything I might ever write about 4e will always be what it appears to be, never what it is. That is because, from anything I’ve seen or heard, since first pirating the books (then deleting them) three days after 4e was launched, I have considered the system a total pile of shit.”

    In other words, it doesn’t fucking matter that i am categorically wrong about things. If i am too stupid or lazy to do any research and check whether the semi-coherent garbling i so relentlessly pour forth and clog up the internet with has any fucking veracity whatsoever, this is your problem.

    We Are Returned! Death to Alexis Quadia! Death to his lapdogs and idolators! His manuscript of lies will be consigned to the pyres! We will make a charnel house of his blog!

    • September 18, 2014 8:38 am

      Death to Allegra Gellar! Death to Antenna Research! COUNT THE FUCKING HEXES!

      http://www.tao-dnd.blogspot.nl/2014/09/plenty-of-reasons.html

      “That is just sad. I read that and I just think, fuck people, you know? Fuck the people in this hobby, with their thumb on top of imagination, keeping it down. Miserable bastards and their lack of will or commitment or rigor, who can’t be bothered to try.

      There are plenty of reasons to be ashamed. This is just one of them.”

      Driver, I don’t know if you can edit comments once he posts them but that account just got exposed to every spambot in Latvia. Might want to take that bit out.

      • September 18, 2014 10:06 am

        Alexis is in top form and he does not disappoint. He equates ‘not taking D&D seriously’ to ‘racial intolerance’. He writes, “…I don’t see any difference.”

        How can Alexis think this? Alexis quotes Scott Driver with regard to “taking games seriously.” Then, in the paragraph immediately following, Alexis writes about “taking things seriously.” Granted, some ‘things’ – like race relations – should be taken seriously; however, other ‘things’ – like pretending to be an elf – need not be. Apparently, this distinction is too subtle for Alexis. He is “immeasurably baffled.”

        Sometimes, people play games for recreation. Sometimes, rigor is not conducive to recreation. Is this really baffling?

      • Scott permalink
        September 18, 2014 8:25 pm

        “Driver, I don’t know if you can edit comments once he posts them but that account just got exposed to every spambot in Latvia.”

        You say that like it’s a bad thing.

        Oh. I thought you meant Latveria.

        I addressed the part of the post about what I said. Alexis was cool about it. I’ve already bought the book, so I don’t see more than an infinitesimal advantage in collegiality towards me and I’m not going to look for one. I don’t talk to many smart people, prickly or weird or not, so I do it when I can.

        He reads comments here lately, and this an unwelcome threadcrap for his comments section based on what he’s said he’s looking for in his private space, so I’m saying it here:

        I’ve read that blog for a long time. At first I didn’t comment because I read a lot of “OSR” blogs and never really focused on it. Then I didn’t comment because I didn’t comment *anywhere*. I’ve kept reading it because it’s not boring, but I just never commented.

        Lately, even when I’ve kind of wanted to, I haven’t commented because the combination of a strict moderation policy and the online “cult of personality” effect of an articulate guy with an unusually extreme position and a robust hit count attracts people anxious to type favor-currying “me too” comments.

        Many just want to agree, and they affect a blandly inquisitive stance for validation from someone they respect, with just enough variation to justify posting. Bright guys, some of them say things worth reading. World’s been full of smart acolytes for millenia.

        I don’t like calling people sycophants because no one’s consciously trying to ride his dick, but the comments section is often either the regulars winding up to “this is a wake-up call and has altered my gaming, indeed my life” -or- NO comments because they’re not confident in their opinion and don’t want to get beat on like pinatas for a misstep. If you’d like to say something but don’t feel like getting called out for fucking up, it’s intimidating.

        I ascribe motives to the bulk of commenters because there’s no negative effect if I’m missing some nuance of “I AGREE, AND HERE’S SOME MINOR POINT TO JUSTIFY MY POSTING.”.

        I don’t tell people how to run their households. I personally have never moderated anything but Russian spambots and have happily taken the shit that people give me, but I’ve also never had high-Google pics of me with tits. I UNDERSTAND but I’m saying that for me personally, it makes commenting less attractive. It’s often pointless to type a fucking novel when the other people who’ll engage in discussion always agree with the OP to the point of not being useful.

        (BTW I’ve been commenting for the last couple days and he hasn’t been a shithead.)

      • Scott permalink
        September 19, 2014 4:38 am

        Well, shit. Not sure where that came from. Looks like it’s about time to lay off the booze again for a while. 😦

      • Unicron Ahrimanes permalink
        September 20, 2014 1:33 am

        @Scott – seems pretty reasonable to me. Whatever you were drinking that night seems to have worked out for you. Alas, the days of the binge are far behind me now (my alcohol tolerance has evaporated at some stage – makes me a cheap date, though, if any of you lovely boys get lonely in the night-time).

        Anyway: you’ve described rather eloquently my reasons for not engaging with quite a few of the OSR blogs (*coughpornstarscough*), and I wanted to thank you for it:

        “NO comments because they’re not confident in their opinion and don’t want to get beat on like pinatas for a misstep. If you’d like to say something but don’t feel like getting called out for fucking up, it’s intimidating.”

  67. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    September 18, 2014 8:27 am

    BREAKING NEWS!

    ATTENTION ALL FATBEARDS OF THE RAGGI FEDERATION!

    BREAKING NEWS!

    Concerning the July 2012 Now-or-never Grande Adventures Campaign and the two still-to-be-published modules:

    Nah, just joking.

  68. Unkindness to Gamers permalink
    September 18, 2014 9:10 am

    I’m writing an essay right now about what it is like to be loved by everyone I meet but to only love a couple of people in return.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 18, 2014 9:27 am

      Wouldn’t your time be better spent producing usable product?

      Alexis actually sold copy and he’s cavorting up thread like a regular.

      Raggi has a string of failed kickstarter campaigns behind him but still has a customer base.

      Zak spends hours spewing invective, but still has sycophants.

      Seriously, Brandoch Durr Hurr, you claim to have a superior intellect, but your actual accomplishments amount to a crusty tube sock wedged behind the WC.

      Start from scratch with a new blog, play nice-nice until you gain a following, produce a product, and then do the big reveal- “It was I, all along!”

      Fuck, you’re just diddling here, get your “revenge” on the forum fags who rejected you by rolling out a genuine success.

      • September 18, 2014 9:53 am

        I love that the regulars here cavort.

      • Unkindness to Gamers permalink
        September 18, 2014 9:56 am

        There is no-one in the gaming community whose opinion I respect so what possible motivation could I have.

        I have never “claim[ed] to have a superior intellect”. That is implicit. Anyway explain how any kind of material relating to rpg games would establish intellectual credibility in the face of the traditional routes that adult society respects?

      • September 18, 2014 10:39 am

        Listen dude, for a month solid you spammed Lexy’s columns in the comments, and now homie is HERE and you don’t even have anything to say to him? Uh hellooooooooo…?!?!?

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 18, 2014 10:20 am

        Since when have the concerns of adult society impinged on your perpetually adolescent mind? You’re the guy who was trying to wheedle forum user names and passwords out of the peanut gallery so you could play your juvenile “mean girl” games after you have multiple sock-puppet accounts banned. You’re the guy whose idea of literary critique boils down to an inane, infantile “Shakespeare was a 25th level man of letters”.

        I suspect that, in your month away from here, after your “done with this place” flounce, you poked around the grown-ups forums, got scared, and retreated to your only online refuge, where you’re the low mook on the totem pole.

      • Unkindness to Gamers permalink
        September 18, 2014 10:38 am

        Do you read Shakespeare?

      • Unkindness to Gamers permalink
        September 18, 2014 10:46 am

        “Listen dude, for a month solid you spammed Lexy’s columns in the comments, and now homie is HERE and you don’t even have anything to say to him? Uh hellooooooooo…?!?!?”

        Moi? C’est pas possible.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 18, 2014 10:58 am

        Do you read Shakespeare?

        Yes, as a matter of fact, I unearthed a heretofore unknown tragedy in the Beineke rare books library. It’s a play about an impotent Hibernian petty tyrant who fritters away his time in exile by yelling at wee, little stick figures he’s fashioned to represent the enemies who banished him. The title is King Queer… I am working on the theatrical debut, and have cast Rosie O’Donnell to play the turnip-titted tyrant of the title.

      • Unkindness to Gamers permalink
        September 18, 2014 11:07 am

        You don’t then.

        So a literary table is useful for the likes of you whether you use it or not. We live in a world where everyone reads garbage, that is if they read at all. If you personally struggle to read literature then you could show some humility or simply keep your mouth shut. No-one knows who you are here except for you, but I am only addressing you, and now you know that I think you are a stupid guy and I know you feel stupid (and angry).

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 18, 2014 11:27 am

        You’re such a dork- like a tool in an Eithiope’s rear.

        The very fact that you think the works of Shakespeare are a recondite body attests to your lack of true erudition.

        Now, Tard of Avon, what’s your opinion of the Scottish independence plebescite? My hope is that an independent Scottish parliament will start with a proclamation denouncing Shakespeare’s unforgivable calumny against Good King Macbeth.

      • Scott permalink
        September 18, 2014 11:48 am

        I struggle to read lots of stuff. Anyone who says they don’t either a) is lying, b) is delusional, or c) doesn’t read a lot of stuff.

      • Unkindness to Gamers permalink
        September 18, 2014 12:03 pm

        ‘Struggle’ like every word in the language is not well defined. A stupid person struggles to read anything but comic or rpg books. You, Scott, are drawing attention to yourself as someone who reads deeply and struggles but most people don’t read deeply *because* they struggle to grapple with beautiful language.

        So, you have taken an opportunity to stick up for you moron ydis pals at the same time straining your credibility s someone who actually reads deeply with understanding. That’s your call. If you think you can have it both ways then you are dishonest.

      • Scott permalink
        September 18, 2014 5:37 pm

        I’m fine with being someone who doesn’t read deeply with understanding. There’s no scoreboard. I read a lot and work at it.

      • jdjarvis permalink
        September 18, 2014 7:25 pm

        Everyone is out of step but Alexis yet again. Alexis me lad, your be the one cavorting and pretending while biting your tongue. Sure the view counts swell when we mention ayour ever dissonant and amusing yammering but your are not fooling anyone (even yourself).

      • Unkindness to Gamers permalink
        September 18, 2014 7:37 pm

        You are the guy who is comfortable seeming smart among a bunch of dumb scumbags, being called ‘smart’ by that bunch of dumb scumbags. Sure that’s nice and easy, you never had to test yourself and there is a moderate glow but you are small fry by vocation. Maybe you read a lot, maybe not, but like most you are incapable of saying anything worthwhile about what you read because you hang with a bunch of morons.

      • Scott permalink
        September 18, 2014 8:44 pm

        I didn’t spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage.

    • Unkindness to Gamers permalink
      September 18, 2014 11:46 am

      You don’t then.

      • i don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
        September 18, 2014 7:13 pm

        Read deeply with understanding…Um, any university in the world pumps out about 2 – 4 hundred of these people a year. If your measure is “people who agree with me” then, and I quote, “you don’t”

      • Unicron Ahrimanes permalink
        September 20, 2014 1:43 am

        I’m going to hazard a guess that those two to four hundred people will be dismissed by our lord and master as knock-kneed feminists and half-assed Marxists more familiar with the essays strapped to the front of Great Literature (TM) than the content itself.

        As perspectives go it’s not without merit; Literature degrees are unsurprisingly easy to blag. They don’t necessarily guarantee any ‘deeper reading’ of primary texts than would be done by an unqualified reader with a brain in their head and time on their hands (the most depressing thing about the discipline? being qualified to have opinions, to which everybody in the Western world feels entitled anyway). Mine, at least, were surprisingly light on the actual production of critical writing (my ecologist ex-housemate produced a good two thousand words a week, a volume of output roughly equivalent to what I was expected to belch out in a term as an undergrad).

        The main purpose of the Literature degree is not engagement with the Literature itself, but the promulgation of Literary Theory, an edifice which continues to grow, swell and quiver with every passing year. From the top, it’s hard to see primary texts at all; we’re all far too concerned asking “what would Judith Butler do?”

        I would regret both my life and my choices if I hadn’t met my wife-to-be at Big School. Every cloud has a silver lining, eh?

      • i don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
        September 21, 2014 8:52 pm

        What you gain and pursue privately is very different from the papers you turn in for a degree or buck. That’s true of all the humanities. I would also say there is quite an arguable difference between an English degree and a Comparative Literature degree. I mean, you’ve got the “cynic” line of argument down pat but for every lazy, jaded graduate there is one who is earnestly working to improve literacy rates and appreciation. It doesn’t pay well and it’s thankless but perhaps you could put your degree to good use and tutor some disadvantage kids. You know, help them read and write enough to get through high school and not end up robbing liquor stores.

  69. Unkindness to Gamers permalink
    September 18, 2014 9:18 am

    Anyway if morons make you chuckle you have to read this thread:

    http://knights-n-knaves.com/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=12571

    Weggie is like some dumb fuck you would draw on the head of your cock.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 18, 2014 10:47 am

      Morons make me chuckle, to be sure… why, just now I got a belly laugh reading some dumb shit about pink socks and King Kong, written by a sexually naive pud-knocker. I bet that moron was terrified as a schoolboy by a beaver shot in some spank mag left in his school locker room.

    • Unkindness to Gamers permalink
      September 18, 2014 10:59 am

      Try to be intelligent. Quote something and comment on it while trying not to get lost in a fog of humour you don’t understand.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      September 18, 2014 11:37 am

      How dare you? Don’t you know he’s a sly pimp? Give him a break. He let Trent Foster fuck his girlfriend a couple of years ago, and has been heartbroken ever since. Some things sound like a good idea, until you actually see the plan in action.

      Answer up about Lexi, Kunt. Are you pretty much like that one dude in the group of Jr. High boys who talks and brags the loudest about “bitches and ho’s,” but when a cute girl does show up he shuffles, eyes downward, to the back of the group?

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 18, 2014 12:09 pm

        Sweet Tittyfucking Jesus, you have to read his “Is Female Sexuality Monstrous?” post before he nukes his blog again. A line from This Is Spinal Tap comes to mind: “Wallowing in a sea of retarded sexuality.”

        I now picture Kent as a younger version of Marcus Bachmann, as captured in that photo of him eating a corndog.

      • Unkindness to Gamers permalink
        September 18, 2014 12:18 pm

        FROM HERE:

        http://somekingskent.blogspot.ie/2011/06/is-female-sexuality-monstrous.html

        There are times when I look into a pretty smirking face tilted upwards and think, ‘Christ, she’s an animal’, and then, ‘but it’s not her, it’s her spirit of womanhood deep down’. Her brain-pussy nexus makes demands of her delicately throbbing heart because she likes what she sees. But what does she see? When a 5’2″ 110lb Indian girl flashes her teeth, eyelashes trembling and wants to press her finely carved face against mine I fail to imagine the colour of her lust. Were my sexuality aligned with hers rather than opposed to hers I would hunger for a 7’2″ 320lb hairy killer, a world class troll.

        I have yet to adorn myself with pink garments or buttock hugging tights, to groom and paint my legs for a night out carelessly girding my thong clad hips with a handkerchief. Yet a woman attentive to such appearances commands my gaze.

        Is our sexuality defined more by our own physicality or the appearances of those we are drawn to?

        Right now I see teenage girl loping across a bridge on long lithe tanned legs. Her pink socks please me no end. Pink socks on the end of creamy smooth sunned shanks. Whose sexuality is the softer?

        I think ours is. I admire woman’s sexuality as the more dangerous and wonder, positing the existence of a third gender, what blasphemous embraces, what illicit shivers, what exquisite genital pulsings await the male sexual explorer in the clutches of that wild beast, an ab-human manifestation of abstract gender, who would face us if we turned to look in the direction of a woman’s lust.

        I am not a brave man and remain content to hanker after pink socks but I urge all of you to investigate this new erotic frontier with diligence and fervour and report back your discoveries. Homosexuality in the context of this observation is narcissistic, directed neither one way nor the other.

        So my theory is that the hunting down and confronting of monsters, the sweaty grappling with monkey-demons in the dark, with the shades down so to speak, is in reality a sexual playtime for you male gaming nerds. Not me. You, you fruitcakes.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 18, 2014 12:37 pm

        Do you find the eating of tacos to be moral and the eating of corndogs to be immoral?

    • Unkindness to Gamers permalink
      September 18, 2014 11:45 am

      That’s just your usual shitbag of non-sense. Think before you type, psycho.

  70. Unkindness to Gamers permalink
    September 18, 2014 10:48 am

    I am writing a short story called Empty Planet.

  71. Unkindness to Gamers permalink
    September 18, 2014 10:49 am

    I am admiring my naked form in a full length mirror. Handsome. Strong.

  72. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 18, 2014 11:44 am

    I’m looking in a mirror (not cleaned for a couple weeks, so there’s dried flossing debris, what looks like goo from a sneeze, and smudges of a variety of liquids). I’m noticing that all that working out at the gym is starting to finally pay off. I’m not Venger Satanis yet, but considering growing a goatee. I see that my pubes are getting kind of bushy and makes my dingus look an inch smaller than it really is. Then I notice a weird growth on my shoulder. It’s small and sort of black. I’m about to get worried, but am distracted by my pubes again. A couple of them seem to stand out. Gray hairs! In a panic I get out a razor and shaving cream. No pre-trim, just right to the shave. 10 minutes later my nads are bleeding in spots, and looks a lot like a plucked chicken. I wash up a bit, and go hammer one out to “Draggen’ Lady porn.” Now I want a cigarette. Fuck!

    • Unkindness to Gamers permalink
      September 18, 2014 11:48 am

      “my dingus looks small and sort of black”

      You’re black? That explains a lot.

      Ha Haa.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 18, 2014 12:13 pm

      ~vibes

      I found my first gray pube last week. I wouldn’t be so upset about it, but it was in my Big Mac.

  73. Unkindness to Gamers permalink
    September 18, 2014 1:16 pm

    How was Burt Reynolds career not resurrected after Boogie Nights? I like that guy, a lot.

  74. Unkindness to Gamers permalink
    September 18, 2014 2:11 pm

    Enjoying my reflection in a full length mirror is distracting me from writing my short story Empty Planet.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 18, 2014 2:52 pm

      Yo, Durr Hurr, there’s a new forum, but you’ll have to find it yourself.

      Quit jerkin’, start workin’.

  75. Unkindness to Gamers permalink
    September 18, 2014 3:15 pm

    None of you dumbbags have the guts to make a comment on my blog because you know you could not figure out how to say something relevant.

    Ha Haa.

    • Unicron Ahrimanes permalink
      September 20, 2014 1:46 am

      Check again.

      I never know if your blog is extant or not, so I don’t always do you the justice of commenting.

      Incidentally, the ‘password hoops’ that you have to jump through on mine only apply to your first two posts. Keeps the spambots out. After that you should be all right.

  76. Unkindness to Gamers permalink
    September 18, 2014 3:17 pm

    Even when I am really really drunk on sweet whisky I still think this is the dumbest place on the web (except for the knights in tights alehouse)

  77. Unkindness to Gamers permalink
    September 18, 2014 4:20 pm

    Right so for one entire day, which is all I can spare, you morons have NOTHING. YOU HAD NOTHING YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNTS.

    Well BYE BYE again YOU COWARDLY FUCKING MORONS — YOU STUTTERING PRICKS.

    YOU HAD NOTHING. (no doubt you will think of something now it’s safe)

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 18, 2014 8:23 pm

      Now that’s not just a flounce, that’s a victory flounce.

  78. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 18, 2014 4:23 pm

    Just went to look at your blog, “Cum Queens Cunt,” and it’s gone again. What the fuck, is it cursed like Brigadoon or something?

    • Scott permalink
      September 18, 2014 5:04 pm

      I saw the rain-dirty valley; you saw Brigadoon

      • September 18, 2014 5:16 pm

        In MY past life I went to school with the nephew of one of New England’s more notorious mobsters, which might be an oxymoron or tautology or one of those things. It’s the year when that album comes out, we’re all playing drunk canasta or something, the kid comes out blind wasted accompanying the track on concertina. Memories! Only on YDIS!

      • September 18, 2014 5:22 pm

        Concertina brings all the ladies. Or, for Kent, the laddies. Take ya pick.

        Rain-dirty valley? Brigadoon? I saw my favourite variation: 2000 Maniacs. Viva la HGL!

        I’m mixing the vodka with Gatorade. No hangover, right? Science.

      • September 18, 2014 5:36 pm

        I don’t think he caught anything that particular evening but damn, I can still hear that baby accordion (Irish curse, no offense Kent) perking up fucking FLAWLESS right along with the CD. I can hear it to this day.

        FREE SCOTLAND! MAKE THE FUCKING QUEEN SPEND HER FUCKING SUMMERS SOMEWHERE ELSE!

        Pimm’s and blue brainwash, fuck the stereotypes!

      • Scott permalink
        September 18, 2014 5:40 pm

        Tim Roth’s Archie Cunningham is one of the great unsung villains in movie history and the swordfight at the end is the best in movie history. Discuss.

      • September 18, 2014 5:48 pm

        ~i don’t remember there being jimson weed in brainwash

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 18, 2014 8:27 pm

        This is Kent we’re discussing, more like “I saw the gay dirty Sanchez…” Apologies to the Waterboys.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 18, 2014 8:25 pm

      I used the PDF widget to save his female sexuality post. That’s one for the vault.

      • Unkindness to Gamers permalink
        September 18, 2014 8:45 pm

        I posted it above already and you saw that you fucking moron.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 18, 2014 10:01 pm

        Oh, do keep up, gossoon- the P in PDF stands for portable. I can e-mail your deathless prose to anyone who needs a yuk.

      • September 18, 2014 10:20 pm

        Save it for the police, for when one of those pink socks girls goes missing.

      • September 19, 2014 5:04 am

        It is Kent after all, he can only dream of being a pink socks girl.

      • justme permalink
        September 19, 2014 9:09 am

        Darn it’s gone. Was it the same as the rant here?

  79. Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
    September 18, 2014 7:32 pm

    All days are nights to see till I see thee,
    And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me.

    https://app.roll20.net/lfg/listing/1026/polyhedron-games-at-aethercon

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 19, 2014 4:25 am

      Yay Blooey! You say Blooey needs 1,000 players for his virtual tabletop game? I’m sure that will crash the fuck out of the system, but come on gang let’s help Blooey out!

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 19, 2014 6:58 am

        “New players welcome? No”

        Well, Bloo, that is not going to help with increasing the players beyond 1.

        Anyway, I love that snazzy logo with the 2d6 on fire.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 19, 2014 9:03 am

        The 1,000 player game is just a cover- Blooey is forming a Bloo Brigade. Once we hone our tactical skills on the virtual tabletop, we will move to put the Bloosurper in the Oval Office, and usher in a Blootopian society.

        Today Golonda, tomorrow the world!

        #thestinkmustflow

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 19, 2014 7:09 am

  80. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    September 19, 2014 6:55 am

    I notice that Alex “nothing I have written seems to have transformed the hobby, so they are all middle class dabblers” Qaeda has not taken a cult name. We need to assign him one.

    How about Clytemnestra Maglubiyet?

    And for Cthulhu’s sake, Scottt, stop with the submissive concessions that he is smart. This is demonstarbly inaccurate, as his blog proves every day, and his cowardly evasions when his own words are thrown in his face above. Hopefully this is just a part of your alcoholic haze.

    And please post some fappable cosplay pix. (Um, of your proto-ex, not yourself. (Unless they are hot.))

    • Scott permalink
      September 19, 2014 7:41 am

      I disagree about his intelligence. If his arguments are badly constructed, or well-constructed from flawed premises, or unacceptably colored by some agenda or character flaw, those are different things than a lack of native intelligence. I know plenty of smart people who aren’t good logicians or are such fucked-up shitheads that they spew bilge. Saying someone’s smart is a different thing than saying they’re not full of shit.

      I’m not deliberately submissive. I do try to be pleasant when I engage people even when things get contentious. I’d like to like people. I try to overcome my misanthropy and give people the benefit of the doubt and note what I think are their good qualities, even or especially in places where they’re not given that benefit.

      I don’t know if acting that way is a bug or a feature. In a professional context I’m so polite as to be almost passive-aggressive and I don’t think any of my colleagues would call me submissive.

      (Everything I’ve said this week is influenced by my alcoholic haze, out of which I plan to emerge after tonight because I’ve been typing shit I don’t remember.)

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 19, 2014 8:13 am

        So what about when he makes statements like “I have been among the PEOPLE and it changed me” and follows it up with “All of the Middle Class are scared and think the exact same way.” He talks out of both sides of his ass and the statements are not reconcilable. Some of it might stem from his self-hatred at being middle class, but that is not an excuse.

        This is not an isolated example – his blog is rife with them. And when he is confronted with these examples, he deletes the comment or ignores it by trying to insult the messenger.

        Anybody can sound intelligent with enough verbal lipstick, and that is Lexi’s deal. The deficiencies in his reasoning are glaring.

        It sounds like I am attacking you over this – sorry, still hung over. We can all have our opinions.

      • Scott permalink
        September 19, 2014 8:33 am

        No prob, I’ve been faggoting the place up lately

        I’ve often mentioned what I perceive as eccentricities in Alexis’s worldview re: class markers. I seeth with long-time class resentment and have internalized Paul Fussell’s “Class” (which I recommend to everyone) so I understand the impulse.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        September 19, 2014 1:16 pm

        I guess the definition of what exactly constitutes a ‘smart’ person is a contentious one, but we can at least agree mal-adjusted specimens like Lexi and Kent are hugely deficient in a considerable facet of the overall smart-person construct?

        Now that i fugging think about it, the two actually resemble each-other to a rather unnerving degree. They are arch-typical pseudo-intellectuals. Both have an admittedly reasonable grasp of the english language, both have developed elaborate(heavy-handed and theatrical in Lexi’s case, mercurial and ever changing in Kent’s) strategies to deal with the constant onslaught of their own inadequacy in the face of handsome, virile, reasonable men. Both have a ridiculously narrow concept of what constitutes a smart person, which can be summarized thusly: Anyone who shares the same interests and opinions to more or less the same degree of depth. Eat shit already. If you want to prove your intelligence design an economically viable application of nuclear fusion or shut the fuck up.

      • Scott permalink
        September 19, 2014 3:42 pm

        I think our disagreement stems from obvious differences in what we mean by “intelligence.” I mean “high cognitive function,” some blurry constellation of the stereotypical “smart” markers – memory, facility (not necessarily expertise) with language and academic disciplines, an ability to design or manipulate complex systems, an ability to see patterns and adjust one’s positions on the fly to practical effect, etc. Things I haven’t thought out enough to identify with any precision, but the kind of things which allow someone to say “smart guy but a total shitshow” and have everyone nod and know what they mean. Spock was smart but (literally) not good at being a human.

        You seem to be using a definition that includes what people call “social intelligence,” an even more frustratingly blurry term but again, one that everyone can figure out for argument’s sake. I think this adds an unnecessary condition to the term “intelligence.” It may be a *form* of intelligence, but it isn’t the entirety of intelligence or even a necessary condition.

        For instance, there’s a potentially huge disconnect between understanding social principles and successfully applying them. Your definition includes a component of “expertise” that isn’t included in my definition. By my definitions of the terms, someone can have high “social intelligence” but low “social expertise.”

        From reading Alexis’s book (I’m almost finished), he obviously *grasps* social psychology. I don’t have sufficient information to decide if he can successfully *apply* those principles … from reading his blog and comments section back when it was unmoderated, I had a reflexive bias against his arguments because I thought he was a colossal douche; I tended to miss a lot of interesting stuff buried in there because I was like “God, what a cruel prick.” He may *be* a douche, and I may just be biased in the other direction because I’ve recently had what I consider worthwhile conversations with him, but I’ve adjusted my opinion. I think he’s all right, he just skews “abrasive” when he’s on about something.

        Anyway, assuming the worst, he or anyone else can know enough about psychology to write a groundbreaking treatise, but have an utter inability to apply any of those principles. “Intelligence” vs. “expertise.” Academic history is filled with examples of brilliant psychologists who were shambling wrecks of human beings.

        I have a very good grasp of psychology, and a high degree of psychological expertise in the contexts relevant to getting paid, but I’m often utterly incapable of applying any of that knowledge in a wider context. I *know* things I do are antisocial but I’m not good at not doing them.

        Anyway, we’re working from different definitions so I think the disagreement is understandable but fundamental.

        Sick of referring to you in the third person, Alexis, get your ass in here. I’m only even rambling about it here because you don’t want this shit in your comments.

        (I blew off work early, am staying home reading and drinking alone so I stay out of trouble, and am already kind of buzzed, so I expect my posts tonight will be frequent and increasingly incoherent)

      • September 19, 2014 4:42 pm

        tl;dr

        Bottomline: What are Lexy’s stats in D&D? (I would prefer Warhammer, if possible.)

      • Scott permalink
        September 19, 2014 5:11 pm

        WFRP Agitator then lateral shift to Bawd

      • AsmodeusMegatron permalink
        September 20, 2014 4:09 am

        @Scott. Social intelligence is so vague as to be almost useless and not that well correlated with most measures of intelligence, so i niggardly withdraw from that part of the argument, spitting and hissing all the way.

        With regards to general intelligence: While it is admittedly a haphazard and inaccurate measure suitable only for mummers and psychopaths, im going to go out on a limb and say that anyone who so frequently contradicts him or herself does not have the bestest memory in the universe(we are ignoring cognitive dissonance because shut up). I’m going to give you the already acknowledged facility with language and quarter points for breadth of knowledge in Lexi’s case, even if he consistently seems to draw bizarre conclusions and therefore demonstrates an inability to correlate the contents of his brain. Manipulation of complex systems: the doctors are still not out on that one. Medicated/Alien doppelganger Alexis made a decent broken bones rule, unmedicated/vintage Alexis oscillates between ineptly used mathematics to justify his genetically-based hit point argument and byzantine trade tabels to calculate the price of lintel in Quasqeton that i cannot honestly judge because i have never been subjected to the hypnoconditioning required to sit through them(and lexi would approve of me making a value judgement anyway because thats how it looks!).

        As for Kent, we have all been down that lone darksome road and let us face facts, the male genitalia are a robust and simple construction, easily manipulated by brave and noble young women and men, if you are into that sort of thing.

        As for Lexis, Great Unclean one, Add Blather+20, Scholastic Lore(Hexes) and Talented(Bloviate).

        (Btw, don’t those antidepressants react with the Alchohol? Just a concerned citizen braw. Hope you get your shit together soon. Best, AsmoMega)

      • September 26, 2014 8:01 am

        16 intelligence (tested), 17 wisdom (gotten higher with age), 13 constitution (judging by the shit I’ve survived), 10 strength (dropping with age and office work), 12 charisma (depending on how willing I fake consideration) and a 7 dexterity (I am forever dropping things).

        As I am the only person here who has had the benefit of observing me ‘in the wild’ so to speak, I think you all should go with those figures.

        As far as my ability to *apply* psychology (what is with all the *stars* anyway, Scott?), the proof really is in the pudding, isn’t it? I’ve had this personality that everyone here loves so much for all my life, yet I’m still alive, undamaged, despite my str and dex, unrepentant, working in a upper middle class job with terrified, rabbit-like upper middle class people (who think I’m one of them), comfortable, unthreatened, cheerfully willing to write in this forum despite hating most of you motherfuckers (and let’s face it, with most of you this isn’t just a word, is it?), unlike many of the furious little snowflakes you all intimidate.

        This must say something.

    • Scott permalink
      September 19, 2014 7:45 am

      Oh, and we’re not broken up or anything. It’s been a bad week or so but nothing deal-breaking on either end and I’ve calmed down, as I do. We’re still getting married, just not on that date and I believe it’ll just be us at the ceremony. All is cool, I’m just drinking it off and am getting back to what passes for normal in my life.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 19, 2014 8:15 am

        Is that a “no” on the pix? 😦

      • September 19, 2014 8:43 am

        “Just us,” like us here and you two? Cool.

      • Scott permalink
        September 19, 2014 8:46 am

        No just us, no piece

      • September 19, 2014 8:53 am

        No justice of the peace? Is that allowed in WV?

      • Scott permalink
        September 19, 2014 9:08 am

        The justice of the peace system was replaced by a magistrate court system decades ago, mostly because JPs were compensated in an indefensible manner – they got paid based on the result of a case, with the money taken from the party who didn’t win or a fined criminal defendant, which obviously gave them incentive to rule in certain ways. Salaried magistrates are less inclined to partiality (at least on that basis).

  81. Scott permalink
    September 19, 2014 8:27 am

    Depends on how fucked up I get tonight

  82. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 19, 2014 11:40 am

    On the Bloodymage front, I have to say that I love that many of us have become “Blooey Archaeologists.” Hey, if there is no new Bloo, we can at least settle for unearthing his doings of the past. There always seems to be something to find.

    Are those flip flops above actually sold by Polyhedron Games? I like flip flops. I’m not a foot guy, but when a really cute chick (white or asian) is wearing pink or white flips I suddenly become one. Not sure if I’m down with Blooey’s world map being on them. All I’d be thinking about would be the Stank in Golonda while I was trying to get into sucking those tootsies.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 19, 2014 12:40 pm

      I’m more of a pink sock guy, when I see a cute chick in pink socks, I think of exquisite genital pulsings while in the ab-human clutches of an abstract third gender. Blooey map flip-flops would only enhance such outré erotic yearnings.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 19, 2014 3:07 pm

      My current academic interest in Bloodymage involves his role as forum moderator at Dragonsfart. I am curious to see his disciplinary interaction with forum members so I have begun work searching for Blooey’s mod voice.

      In the meantime, I’ve uncovered Blooey’s YouTube page, which only includes his video Likes, which are very telling in their own right.

      http://www.youtube.com/user/Bloodymage

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 19, 2014 3:09 pm

        Like this one, only 3 months ago, for difficult to manage nappy hair.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        September 19, 2014 3:36 pm

        For several months until about 2 months ago, Bloo was living with that dog walker (in what seemed a really nice house). I had some good inside info…because his and her Facebook pages were public. I found his through looking at the Polyhedron Games FB page. She, and Blooeys somewhat estranged grown up son were his only friends on the personal page. She was at least in her mid 60’s judging by her photo. She still had curly blond hair (and was probably quite fetching in her early days). Anyway, on Bloo’s page he had a picture of her and the quote was “my crazy old lady fiancee on one of her better days.” Only theory here, but perhaps comments like that, and maybe hints to her that she had “nappy hair” maybe with youtube links as the hints, caused a bad break-up and his flight from Arizona and abandonment of any future Arizona Pollycon. He (Steve Willet) does not seem to have a personal page any longer that I can find.

        Why did I not share this at the height of it’s glory? To be honest, I was conflicted. I’m a mocking asshole, but I also have a niggling fear that there might actually be a hell. Messing with the likes of Zak, Satine, Mandy Morbid, Jamal, and other shameless hucksters is one thing. But good old Bloo is kind of a lost soul, and he had an obviously strained relationship with his son (saw that from something I read a couple years ago but don’t remember where). So for a change I had a fucking heart and did not link to the page. Maybe Scott’s angelic presence here inspired whatever goodness lies in my black soul.

        But do I regret it now? You betcha. I now feel that holding back on my fellow Bloodymage fans and academics is what might actually get me into hell.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 19, 2014 4:19 pm

        Scroll down even further to “Hoshi’s” videos- there’s a facet of Blooey’s personality I wouldn’t have guessed in a million years… if it’s the same Blooey.

        The charming thing about Blooey is that he’s an honest crook, his “pay to play” investor schemes are so transparent, there’s a naïf quality to them that makes it impossible to hate him.

      • Scott permalink
        September 19, 2014 4:41 pm

        Picking on people like Bloodymage and VulcanStev (blast from the past!) is like beating up on Corky. I mean, I do some dirt, too, but I ain’t never put my gun on nobody that wasn’t in the game. /omar

      • September 19, 2014 4:50 pm

        VulcanStev is doing okay, seemingly. He never posts to his blog anymore, but I’ve played link bingo to get to his Facebook and business pages and he seems to be cranking out those crummy ads and business cards like crazy. Even dipped a toe in IP infringement, selling Star Fleet IDs and the like. Still has the weird marriage, weird church, super creepy Ligotti-an kids puppet show act, and seems settled.

      • Scott permalink
        September 19, 2014 4:52 pm

        lol @ you checking on VulcanStev, you weird fuck

      • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
        September 19, 2014 5:06 pm

        Yeah I found that a while ago but I remain skeptical. I think it’s a different Bloodymage.

        There can be only one!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 19, 2014 6:23 pm

        Alas, I’ve now confirmed that this particular YouTube account belongs to a real life menstrual mage, some kind of black hoodoo woman, not our beloved blooey.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 19, 2014 6:54 pm

        There’s yet another Bloodymage on Deviantart, also a female.

        Blooey didn’t do enough to protect his brand identity, unless these ladies are franchisees.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 19, 2014 10:25 pm

        Maybe she paid blooey $1,000 bucks so she could do the art for Stink in Golanda?

  83. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 19, 2014 1:26 pm

    It would for sure be cool if you had a chick at the game (not talking about Satine, or any of the fugley’s at Garycon or big fat Venger girls) and when it was time to whip out the world map you give her a nod, and jaws drop as she tosses her flops on the table. It would for sure beat jumping into the bathroom and grabbing your mildewy shower curtain and tossing it out there.

    Blooey may be smarter than we ever imagined. Outside the box shit.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 19, 2014 1:41 pm

      There are pitfalls in venturing into the Blooeysphere. I was dumped by a girl when I bought her a “don’t mess with the Blooeymage” thong and her cursory glance led her to read it as “don’t mess with the bloody vadge”. I think I could have salvaged things but it was that time of the month.

  84. Scott permalink
    September 19, 2014 4:01 pm

    Also, how the fuck does a troll site – which regularly headlines DiTerlizzi illos of bloggers picking shit out of other bloggers’ underwear – regularly get 400 comments in a few days, and 5% or so of those comments are worth reading? That’s an astoundingly high number of at least vaguely worthwhile comments. I can’t think of a regular gaming blog that gets 20 decent comments on ANYTHING, and I’m not even taking out the 40% of the comments here that involve Kent calling someone or being called a faggot. I’ve been on G+ and it doesn’t match that signal-to-noise ratio either. Everything about the “OSR community” is fucked up.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 19, 2014 6:13 pm

      ~vibes (vibes posts are 10% of YDIS traffic)

      • Scott permalink
        September 19, 2014 9:53 pm

        ~vibes (10.1%)

    • Magica Azrael permalink
      September 20, 2014 3:28 am

      hi scott,

      long time reader first time poster etc.

      anyway the answer to your q is pretty simple: every other online rpg related community out there is completely shit.
      is there anywhere to go that doesn’t require either joining the pc hivemind, putting up with zak/pundit’s sperged out shit, giving a single rat’s cock about 3e charop (er, I’m talking about enworld but I’ve only read the one thread there and don’t really know what it is peeps there like. maybe it’s actually a really good forum I dunno) or whatever the fuck ‘people’ do at the gaming den?

      nah fuck that gimme ~vibes anyday

      ps. ducktales counts as an 80s cartoon rite?

      • Magicka Azrael permalink
        September 20, 2014 3:28 am

        fuck it’s spelled ‘magicka’, what a twat

      • Magica Azrael permalink
        September 20, 2014 3:33 am

        hmm no it’s not

  85. Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
    September 19, 2014 5:14 pm

    Paul Fussel, that’s a blast from the past. He was dead on about the university creep and “prolitization of America” with convenience for the seller being disguised as convenience for the buyer. He was probably thinking about drive-thrus but now I can’t buy anything in a supermarket without using the damn self-checkout.

    He was a little off on the idiotic “prole magazines” though. It’s not the proletariat that buys most of that vapid pap. It’s women.

    • Scott permalink
      September 19, 2014 6:01 pm

      I’m exactly the kind of aspirational prole he skewers in “Class” – no matter how hard I try, how smart or educated I am, how I dress, or how much money I make, no one in any higher class will ever be fooled. BUT if I had kids, *they* could be middle class

      • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
        September 19, 2014 7:24 pm

        Screw trying to get into a higher social class, that’s a DM red herring. Who cares if you score an invite to the ball at Duke Bumblesnoot’s summer palace? Those adventures are always lame-ass anyway. Aim for magic items, jewelry, gems, platinum and gold in that order.

        While I’m on the subject of DM dirty tricks, I’ll also mention that you should always play a character as close to True Neutral as possible to avoid being screwed over by touching the good or evil-aligned altar or whatever. And always play a female so you don’t get charmed and loved up by magic fairies and such. Or better yet, play a genderless character. That should be legal in all editions now.

        Also, if you live in the states, your kids will never be middle class. By the time they grow up, the middle class will be gone.

      • Scott permalink
        September 19, 2014 9:52 pm

        I can’t have kids anyway so I’m cool with things degenerating to cannibalism and tires burning in trash cans

      • September 20, 2014 7:42 am

        The Fussell book was OK at the time but even in the mid-1990s (gig at the Social Register, mandatory reading, somebody there kept touching my feet) it was rapidly becoming as much of a museum piece as the Preppy Handbook. Mark Zuckerberg may be a cretin but he still beat those giant fag twins at Harvard and now nobody on the Internet knows you’re the dentist’s son. I wouldn’t worry about it. Civilization is a fragile and awkward threesome between aristocracy, meritocracy and idiocracy. Sooner or later one wanders to the edge of the action to watch, but maybe that’s OK because do you really want to be in the middle of that?

        Besides, crack is becoming a rich kid drug in youth circles so evidently plenty of class signifiers are upwardly mobile.

      • Scott permalink
        September 20, 2014 5:19 pm

        I also loved The Preppy Handbook although I haven’t read either book in a long time.

      • Scott permalink
        September 20, 2014 5:31 pm

        Can’t do antidepressants, the only one that works for me triggers/exacerbates my “ups” to the point that it’s much less dangerous to ride out the “downs.”

        (btw I’ve long wanted to pitch a treatment for a movie about football becoming a Special Olympics sport. “First Downs.” Tagline: “The extra chromosome … was courage.” Or “The most special team.” Or “The longest tard.”)

        Anywho, yeah, alcohol interacts badly with my massive dose of mood stabilizer, I’ve started smoking menthols again and they interact badly with my allergies and asthma, and the recent stress interacts badly with me not bashing someone’s face in with a claw hammer then driving to Vegas to blow a few grand and get syphilis.

        Shit’s together tho, this is a targeted strike, I’m at least aware I’m a mess instead of thinking I’m the Invincible Overlord of Upper Buttcrack, and I’m easing back out of it.

        ~vibes

      • September 20, 2014 6:37 pm

        That’s the second time you’ve tried out your retard football routine here. Why do I know? Because I named my fantasy team First Downs Syndrome.

      • Scott permalink
        September 20, 2014 8:04 pm

        Dude, I don’t remember anything I’ve done this week, you expect me to remember anything I’ve done this week?

      • September 20, 2014 9:59 pm

        Haha this was two months ago.

      • Scott permalink
        September 20, 2014 10:03 pm

        Your recall of my and VulcanStev’s timeline is fucking with me, cuz

      • Scott permalink
        September 20, 2014 5:34 pm

        No idea how my reply to Asmodeus ended up in this thread, this is seriously the worst fucking template

      • Scott permalink
        September 20, 2014 8:05 pm

        UM I MEAN IT WAS A CALLBACK

      • September 20, 2014 8:22 pm

        People who want threaded comments and little sandwiches can probably find an all-new literary fantasy forum somewhere. For the rest of us, the drugs and preppies and pre-op transsexuals and “special” pro athletes and fucking dreary fifth edition Monster Manual art are all just part of the flow.

        Stop smoking the menthols. Rescue inhalers make people edgy and the whole scenario is an itchy up. Keep drinking though!

        What kind of mascots do they have in your First Downs Syndrome league anyway?

      • Scott permalink
        September 20, 2014 8:35 pm

        I want little sandwiches 😦

        I have to smoke the menthols because I don’t like the regulars, obv. But you’re right, I’D HATE TO GET EDGY

        I don’t know what I’d name a retard team, the Cleveland ______ I guess

      • September 20, 2014 10:07 pm

        This is my avatar:

      • September 20, 2014 8:32 pm

        Hey, speaking of the Monster Manual, are any of the “consultants” running to all the blogs to take crazy credit for that one? Tony Diterlizzi called and wants his coffee-stained textures back so he can make some maps look antique, you know like shit from 15 years ago.

      • Scott permalink
        September 20, 2014 8:36 pm

        Explain the 5e MM pls, haven’t seen it, but I’m sure they had top men. Top men.

      • Moral Enema Priesthood of Thailand permalink
        September 20, 2014 8:42 pm

        I like your blog too much. You had made good discourse. Come see my web, make happiness for sinful boys. 10% discount cuddle in September times.

      • Scott permalink
        September 20, 2014 8:53 pm

        If this is an actual spambot, my faith in sketchy Persians has been restored

      • September 20, 2014 8:48 pm

        There we go. If you don’t like the itchy up, put all that energy into a Fantasy Fetish Forum with little sandwiches and nice threaded comments. You can wander off and when you come back it’ll be this weird mutant, like if Bernie Wrightson did an “affirmations” poster with footprints on a beach and a seagull.

        MM5 is giving me a stink because whil the content is OK the art direction seems like it’s looking in a mirror and winking. Not sure why it bugs me so much. Might be the self-consciously “wow” flavor quotes, which I always hate. Also a lot of the powers are expressionistic — weird menace without much mechanics — that somebody evidently thought upped the “fantasy” but really just make it all feel like Gygax impregnated Nobilis and this thing crawled out. Like it was somebody’s idea of a great idea. It so rarely is! So whichever of you goddamn consultants signed off on this one, crawl your asses out of NDA-mandated hiding or wherever you are and explain the thinking please!

      • Scott permalink
        September 20, 2014 8:57 pm

        The art direction for every edition starting with 2e has been terrible, and I remember several of the 3.x monster books having little flavor snippets like “this clawed humanoid is gauntly emaciated and glistens with nightmare” … the reason I don’t pledge to Kickstarters (other than the axiomatic “my head doesn’t slosh when I walk”) is that I don’t even buy the shit that gamers have already produced, much less garbage I have to pay them for to get the right to pay for it 😦

      • September 20, 2014 9:04 pm

        Man, it’s all overwritten, overthought, overwrought and as far as I’m concerned overbought. If I was burning to know what Mary Sue of Waterdeep heard once about when Tremere vampires have curfew, I’d be trolling White Wolf fan fic sites! But I guess the consultants didn’t protest too much and da fanz are clearly slurping it down so they don’t need my dollars or my input.

        Cleveland definitely needs a team. Maybe their mascot can be the beavers.

      • Moral Enema Priesthood of Thailand permalink
        September 20, 2014 9:18 pm

        Come and see our best sinful boys. Little good hairy balls. Show picture now no pants we pray long time 10% discount cuddle in September times.

      • Scott permalink
        September 20, 2014 10:37 pm

        lol @ 10%

        Sinful Boys to Men ABC BBD can get me 20%

      • September 20, 2014 9:35 pm

        Love it! Apparently sinful hairy balls 10% off are the new vibes!

      • Moral Enema Priesthood of Thailand permalink
        September 20, 2014 10:55 pm

        Driver, you credit card fail. You are liar. You give back sinful boys NOW

      • Scott permalink
        September 21, 2014 12:08 am

        Too late, done purified them in the waters of Lake Minnetonka 😦

  86. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    September 19, 2014 5:17 pm

    Clytemnestra Maglubiyet
    STR 9
    DEX 9
    CON 10
    INT 12 (16 to Followers, West Virginians, and goblins)
    WIS 6
    CHA 6 (15 to the above, and dwarves)

    Fighter Lvl 0 HP3 AC10
    Pen of Sanctimonious Rebuking
    Mirror, painted black
    Rusty pan
    Kayak paddle

    • Scott permalink
      September 19, 2014 5:54 pm

      The one thing I really loved about Villains & Vigilantes was that the initial PCs were statted out based on the actual players so you could dagger your fellow players about what fat weak unlovable losers they were

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 19, 2014 6:28 pm

      You left a few items off the equipment list:

      A dozen eggs
      Hair Scrunchie
      Hormone Replacement Therapy
      100 cases of unsold copies of Pete’s Garage

  87. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    September 19, 2014 6:41 pm

    Blooey rules with an iron fist!

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=42951

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 19, 2014 6:45 pm

      Saunatonttu Commits Suicide by Blooey Mod!

      http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=39776

      “Ps. bloodymage, you twat. Now you have to ban me. Of course someone of your mental capabilities would not know that i have recieved SIXTEEN “final warnings” from Gnarley Bones and FIVE from Steve.”

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 20, 2014 6:19 am

        Wow, that sauna faggot is a total cocksucker. If the top dogs on that forum had and credibility, he would have been permanently banned.

        NOBODY treats our Captain that way. Roadtrip to Felchville to give sauna a Norse Black Magic enema.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      September 19, 2014 7:04 pm

      Goddamn. Blooey vowed to delete the rant. But there is it years later.

      Also…

      “Sorry to disappoint, folks. I don’t do Facebook, never have, never will.”

      I guess his short tenure on FB this year was to show off his crazy old lady on one of her better days before the relationship exits this world.

      So awesome. I wonder if moderator Steve, who seems to take BM’s rant in full serious mode, has seen all the wonders of Blooeyworld we have the last year or two.

      • Scott permalink
        September 19, 2014 10:44 pm

        “I guess his short tenure on FB this year was to show off his crazy old lady on one of her better days before the relationship exits this world.”

        Preachin to the choir, bro

      • Stinkor Forneus permalink
        September 20, 2014 8:24 am

        NOBODY CALLS BLOOEY A TWAT NOBODY!!!!

        I don’t think Blooey ever got around to permabanning Sauna either…

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 20, 2014 9:53 am

        Don’t mess with the Bloodyvag!!!

    • Zarkon Zoth-Ommog permalink
      September 19, 2014 7:33 pm

      If we could get Bloo to be a mod here, he’d sure as hell clean this place up.

      • bloodymage permalink
        September 22, 2014 6:12 am

        A mod (not HM) inquired about locking this thread. Dunno why after I looked it over. We all talk trash with a crooked smile anyway. I’ll let him know that I told y’all to keep your knickers clean, but none o’ you wear knickers anyway, righr? Kilts, from time to time, I imagine… 😉

        I have the kilt, but the only sword I’ve ever used beyond childhood has been real. And even with that I claim no proficiency. I’ve only drilled with the damned things. 🙄

  88. Stinkor Forneus permalink
    September 20, 2014 6:31 pm

    STOP THE PRESSES!!!!
    An IP has been stolen! AN IP HAS BEEN STOLEN!!!!!

    http://www.bleedingcool.com/2014/09/19/scamwatch-james-l-shipman-ii-and-outlaw-press/

    Apparently James Shipman is at it again! He’s selling knockoff Tunnels & Trolls sourcebooks that have been stolen from Ken St. Andre and other publishers and artists! For those of you who don’t know, Tunnels & Trolls is an almost 40 year old knock off that Ken St.Andre blatantly ripped off from Gary Gygax’s Dungeons & Dragons.

    IT’S TIME TO BURN THE AUSTRALIAN HOUSE FRAUS WITH CANCER AT THE STAKE AGAIN!!!!!

    • Stinkor Forneus permalink
      September 20, 2014 6:34 pm

      Also, in every picture I’ve seen of Ken St. Andre, he looks like he smells like stale pee pee.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 20, 2014 9:28 pm

        You fiend! I’ll have you know he smells like fresh pee!!!

    • Scott permalink
      September 20, 2014 9:45 pm

      I like T&T 5e as a super simple system – the Monster Rating is just a further abstracted version of AC + hp + special abilities. All that stuff is abstracted in D&D as a collection of probabilities that the system just makes problematic to combine … any combat action in D&D, including “to hit” and damage and everything else, *could* be boiled down to a single die roll every round, it’s just a pain in the ass for non-savants to do on the fly.

      That’s an issue I had with Alexis’s argument re: hit points … I’d never argue that a differing number of hit points for each mechanically identical opponent implies their “current state,” like a 1 hp orc is that way because he’s wounded, that’s stupid. But making hp a static value and keeping random weapon damage just shifts/keeps the abstraction on a different end.

      I mean if you posit that a particular class of orcs can always take a consistent amount of damage because they’re mechanically equivalent and variation is a problem on a flavor level, you could just as easily shift or mirror the abstraction with weapon damage inflicted by mechanically identical weapons. Why should the amount of damage that identical orcs can take operate by different rules than the damage that identical broadswords can do? (I’m pretty sure he correctly addressed this by noting how much of a pain in the ass it’d be to shift the abstraction to that end, esp. with PC ability scores in the mix, but I probably lost the argument in the cloud of stupidity surrounding that entire discussion. You could do it, so I think the theoretical principle stands – insisting on one end being static but letting the other be variable is just a burden shift. If this kind of thing is your goal, it’s a matter of practicality, not superiority of the theory.

      Anyway, obviously T&T is a very simple system and not with the effect of actually *being* elegant. But it allows the quick design of a huge number of monsters with the assignment of one number, something you could theoretically do round-by-round in D&D or any other system, so the loss of granularity may be offset by the ease of abstraction. This happens in wargames ALL THE TIME and no one blinks. No one playing a military wargame even at the skirmish level has ever complained about one-number abstraction of a unit’s combat abilities as far as I know.

      The BIG problem with the default T&T combat system is a huge death spiral effect because monsters’ number of dice goes down if they lose the first combat. PCs win first round, they probably win the combat and you either sit through round after round of “vs. 20d6” –> “vs. 18d6” –> “vs. 12d6” when the result is already practically determined (there’s not enough potential variance with that many dice to spike things very often) or you handwave the combat after two rounds.

      And weirdly, *that’s* probably less exciting but more realistic, in that if someone hits you first and hard with a sword, in real life you’d be less likely to operate effectively in later rounds. Common feature of more “realistic” combat systems like BRP or Harnmaster.

      (T&T also has a problem with the way a particular low-level spell can be spammed and evades the rest of the combat system, but that’s a quirk that has nothing to do with the base mechanic.)

      Anyway, the thrust of my pro-T&T argument is that it’s just a very simplified (maybe problematically so) level of abstraction mixed with some chuckle-headedness. It’s a workable system for pickup games, and that’s leaving out the potential uses of the Saving Throw mechanic to step around problematic simplicity.

      Ken’s been cool with me personally* but James Maliszewski (?) put up an AP post that, if accurate, indicates he’s a giant dildo as a player. Seems to be a pattern with a lot of the revered old school guys – when the rubber hits the road, their actual practice is *nothing* like the platonic ideal of the OSR hivemind.

      * Just assume I’m going to say that about people I’ve dealt with, evidently

      tl;dr: T&T’s fine as a simple quick system, Ken’s OK but probably a flake and I’ve never sniffed him

      • September 26, 2014 8:06 am

        That’s a sound argument against the hit point argument I proposed, Scott. Too bad you didn’t speak up at the time.

    • justme permalink
      September 21, 2014 4:24 am

      Shipman should have the class to “write” (i.e. copy and paste) a retro-clone of T&T call it something like Corridors & Creeps, steal art from dead artists, and publish materials for his tribute game. It’s a formula used by many in the OSR community for years.

  89. Scott permalink
    September 20, 2014 10:07 pm

    Best Christmas movie: Better Off Dead or Gremlins?

    • September 20, 2014 10:17 pm

      Earlier this week you said BoD, given a few more drinks I think you’ll come to that conclusion again.

      • Scott permalink
        September 20, 2014 10:21 pm

        Jesus fuck, really? I should stop posting my two settings, “rambling screeds about RPG mechanics” and “shit I’ve already said”

        Obv drunk again, another shitty night and this thread is my personal confessional and my insomnia is to the point where I’m like “1:30 am? cool, still early” 😦

      • justme permalink
        September 21, 2014 4:14 am

        If you have time to pass out and wake up before noon it’s still early.

      • Scott permalink
        September 21, 2014 4:39 am

        Well, unfortunately, I’m still awake. 😦

    • justme permalink
      September 21, 2014 4:12 am

      Better of Dead was a Christmas movie? I recall snow but snow does not make a movie xmas. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation is a superior Christmas movie.

      • Scott permalink
        September 21, 2014 4:36 am

        “Christmas. KWISSST-MASSSS”

  90. Destro Dispater permalink
    September 21, 2014 8:59 am

    That “Bleeding Cool” website sucks donkey dongs. For a site trying to pass itself off as a Bloodymage fan site, it doesn’t mention Blooey a single time!

    #paroxysmofnerdrage

  91. The Queen of Pure Thought Originating in the North permalink
    September 21, 2014 10:36 am

    I am a beautiful lady with a singular mind. I am looking for a world class lawyer living in West Virginia to represent me as I have slain my husband while we were having sex. I have committed no reprehensible act according to the norms of internet pornography. My husband died of his wounds and I appear on the recording to be grinning just at the moment of his death; in fact I was thinking of something else at the time.

    I was born in 1882 into a genteel family and educated at great expense in Boston. I spurned my upbringing to live with a community of untalented artists at the age of seventeen. Since then I have used mushrooms for my mind, ointments for my skin and violent masses to thwart time preserving the pristine elegance of my youth.

    A talented backwoods lawyer here has revealed himself to have just the open, childlike topsy-turvy mind to champion me against the tiresome circumstantial charges facing me. My husband was a lawyer, I am attracted to lawyers. Contact me if you want to save a Queen of Pure Thought.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 21, 2014 10:43 am

      Oh, Kent, you are as transparent as you are pathetic. Shouldn’t you be working on your “Empty Planet” nonsense?

    • September 21, 2014 10:45 am

      Hi Kent!

    • September 21, 2014 12:04 pm

      Erma Byrd, is that you? All this time I thought you were a coal miner’s daughter, but I guess if you faked your death a few years back you could have faked other things. At least it sounds like your gave the senator one hell of a final ride.

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      September 21, 2014 2:01 pm

      Jeez, just offer to buy Scott a drink already!

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 21, 2014 4:08 pm

      Yeah, Elfdart is one of our problem children. Moderating is hard on any forum and Dragonsfoot is a zoo sometimes… maybe describing it as an asylum would be more apt. 😯

      The admission by Colin can be chalked up tp immaturity IMO. It’s obvious he’s come a long way since those days.

  92. The Queen of Pure Thought Originating in the North permalink
    September 21, 2014 11:36 am

    Excellent responses so far.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 21, 2014 11:59 am

      Why the foolish charade, Kent? If you want to convince Scott to find solace in your flabby arms, pressed up against your dirty dude-dugs as you damn near suffocate him with your liver-lips, why not just ask him to take a tumble?

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 21, 2014 4:10 pm

      My favorite forum haunts are here, Dragonsfoot and KenzerCo. I’ve posted fairly extensively of my ambitions and problems in both places, but I’ve been pretty silent here. I really have trouble thinking these days because the VA pumped me full of narcotics. I’m off them, but I’m told it will take over a year to recover. There’s also some religious nut playing his damned music 24 hours a day and that really gets on my nerves. It’s been six years since I’ve worked and writing and gaming is all I know and even that is tough. I’m choking down rules that just won’t stick any more. Well, any way, I didn’t come here to cry. I need brains. I need creativity. I could use a donation here or there or possibly, investment (this is not a plea for money, just saying I wouldn’t turn it down!). I have a web assistant helping me with the sites and she’s much more capable than I, but it’s her business and I’m not her only client. I need people with web savvy.

  93. The Queen of Pure Thought Originating in the North permalink
    September 21, 2014 12:44 pm

    While I wait for *Scott* to sleep it off I’m going to watch Talladega Nights.

    • The Queen of Pure Thought Originating in the North permalink
      September 21, 2014 12:55 pm

      Rubbish. Now Im watching Blade.

      • The Queen of Pure Thought Originating in the North permalink
        September 21, 2014 1:05 pm

        Crap. OK now I’m watching Walk The Line.

      • Stinkor Forneus permalink
        September 21, 2014 2:23 pm

        Hi Kent!

    • Stinkor Forneus permalink
      September 21, 2014 2:22 pm

      ~shitbubbles

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 21, 2014 4:06 pm

      Sorry all for my silence. Btw, it’s “bloodymage,” one word, no caps. Don’t want the lady gettiung pissed at me for usurping her colloquial title!

      Anyway, I’m here at Origins waiting on the KenzerCrew to show up. Made Hypericon in Nashville and had a blast. They gave me a staff badge and I ran demos of Tech Support, The Great Space Race, conducted a KoDT Live Reading and ran a HackJammer session. I also busted my butt helping them set up and take down. I hate standing around!

      I’ll post more later, but thanks for asking. In short, it’s getting to be the toughest thing I’ve done but it’s been a blast all the way even with the niggling worries that I really don’t worry about a whole lot.

  94. Stinkor Forneus permalink
    September 21, 2014 2:49 pm

    Well I did my good deed for the day and hammered another nail in the blOwSR coffin. Was at the game store when a father (late 30s early 40s) and his two kids came in looking for D&D 5e. Dad was coming back to gaming and wanted to introduce his kids to Dungeons & Dragons. Salesperson was showing them the starter set when some blOwSR-spouting fatbeard started trash talking 5e and suggested dad check out OSRIC or S&W instead. The salesperson didn’t miss a beat – he told dad if he wanted to play older versions of D&D or AD&D, he might as well use his original books or pick up used ones, most of which the game store had at reasonable prices. Well, that raised the hackles of the clearly unblown fatbeard, who started spouting off about all the retroclones and the “mission” of the OSR, leaving dad’s eyes somewhat glazed over. I knew right then I had to step in!

    Pulling out my iPad, I told the somewhat discouraged father that the quality of these so-called OSR products varies greatly, and proceeded to show him some of Blooey’s offerings from “the movement”. I also implied these weren’t people you would want your children around, let alone having any influence on their upbringing in the hobby. With the two kids safely out of earshot checking out the HeroClix bargain bin, I told dad all about Geoffy and Carcosa child rape spells, Raggi and his shit golems, body horror porn covers and vagina dentata, Zak and the scab covered pornstars showing their tits while rolling dice, and more Blooey (just to end on a high note and give dad a good laugh). I subtly pointed to the fatbeard’s hand without a wedding band, noting he was probably 50 years old and hanging out alone in a store for children.

    I told dad to just buy the 5e starter set. It’s the latest and greatest, the new edition is just starting out, and did he really want his kids to be stuck with some shit S&W or OSRIC book while all their friends had real D&D 5e? They would be like kids from high school back in the day that wore those trashy Sear Roebuck Dragon knock off polo shirts when all the popular kids were wearing IZOD and Ralph Lauren. If they liked the starter set, then come back for the 5e PHB and Monster Manual. I warned him to avoid the 4e D&D stuff – it was stale and past its time, the worst edition of D&D ever, and mercifully dead and buried. He thanked me, picked up the starter set and the Monster Manual, and exited the store with two very happy and excited children. The store clerk gave me a knowing smile of thanks, and the fatbeard glared at me to the point I thought I would have to call mall security (for his sake, because I would have dropped him in a heartbeat and made his 50 year old ass cry). Then the store gave me 20% off my purchases for helping them make a sale to a new customer rather than see them go online to buy some blOwSR shit.

    It was a good day. I did a good thing. It was a good mitzvah.

    • September 21, 2014 5:37 pm

      The light is winning.

    • The Misfits Mephisto permalink
      September 21, 2014 6:06 pm

      Well done, sir!

      Haha, looks like i wasn’t the only one that remembered this post from a couple of years ago on a site i couldn’t remember–or at least when it was brought up approvingly on the beloved Grognardia.

      I felt like i was the only one to notice how crappy that neckbeard’s cockblocking of a poor guy trying to cover his rent that month was. I think that was the fist time my comment got erased at JaMal’s, although it pops up now: “The next week i went back to the store only to find it had closed. I hastily scribbled a note and taped it to the window: ‘Good riddance! All you need to play can be found for free on the internet.’ As i headed for my car I knew my work there was done. Thank goodness we don’t need people trying to make money off this hobby anymore.”

    • Stinkor Forneus permalink
      September 21, 2014 6:50 pm

      I wonder now if that unblown neckbeard was Tenkar? He’s got a “Coming Back to Gaming? Check out the blOwSR!” thing going on over at the Turd Shack where he’s going to spotlight the hundreds of cut and paste retroturd clones to confuse and frighten them away when all they really want is a 5e starter set.

      Like I said, eyes glazing over…

    • Unicron Ahrimanes permalink
      September 22, 2014 4:19 am

      How /is/ fifth edition shaping up, anyway? I’m half tempted to give it a shot out of sheer spite. Who knows, I might even try the board game edition of WFRP, barely a decade too late…

      • Stinkor Forneus permalink
        September 22, 2014 10:01 am

        The starter set is descent when combined with the free PDF of basic rules through level 20, but the PHB and MM really shine. Best D&D yet.

        I really like the direction WotC is going with D&D, with the return to older edition basics, attempts to include more gamers who aren’t the usual fat white unblown straight dude living in mom and dad’s basement, and the shout out to FLGSs by giving them the book to sell first before the big online and chain stores like Amazon and B&N.

        I wanted to avoid it all together because of the Zak/Pundit stench, but as that gamergate scandal unfurled, it became increasingly clear that those two did little more than receive advanced copies of the manuscript along with countless others rather than have any concrete direction on the game. So buy without guilt!

  95. The Queen of Pure Thought Originating in the North permalink
    September 21, 2014 3:14 pm

    Walk the Line is a good movie.

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 21, 2014 4:01 pm

      Never learn if I don’t ask, I presume. Did a fresh install, went to the CC3\Examples\TutorialsES.05.FCW clicked the Symbol Catalog Settings and got a list of CC2 entities. Right clicked the Symbol Style Toggle button ,then selected CC3 Overland symbols and essentially nothing happened that I can discern. The symbol Options didn’t change. The Symbol Catalog Settings remained the same. I haven’t started a new map because I’m trying to wade through the tutorial.

      Btw, picked up a copy of the Tome of Ultimate Mapping to join my bricks for Word, Windows 7 and a massive pdf for Softmaker. It’s no wonder I can’t seem to get anything done!

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 21, 2014 4:05 pm

      I don’t even know why I try. I’ve lost the damned map! It’s in the catalog, but all I get is a white screen, even after rebooting. I’m slow and clunky and it’s hard for me to deal with slow and clunky programs!

      OK, I got the map back. I keep figuring out better ways of doing things, so I go back a try the “new” thing. I was drawing corridors in the cavern with the drawing tool, then I remembered the fractal line tool. Kewl beans! However when I try to use it, my right-click doesn’t provide any options so I get a thin grey line. I can change the properties on it (the only one applicable in this case is thickness), but if I erase, it erases the change, then I have to erase again to eliminate the thin grey line. How do I set the fractal line to my specifications?

  96. The Queen of Pure Thought Originating in the North permalink
    September 21, 2014 3:19 pm

    and,

    Excellent responses so far. You people really are witty.

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 21, 2014 4:02 pm

      I’m back, still a lot brain dead and in hopeless straits, but I figured it’s about time I tackled CC3. Can’t afford the upgrades to DD3 and CD3 yet, but I’m struggling to get thru the CC3 User’s Guide. I’m on ProFantasy’s forum, but figured I’d post my woes here as well. I’m trying to follow the instructions exactly, but things just aren’t happening sometimes. The guide says to open a list and I get no list (important in the editing sections). I can’t erase anything and I’ve yet to get a right-click “Do It” window. Likewise, when I was called on to click the “Move to Back” button, nothing happened. I printed out the pdf, so I could have the instructions in front of me, but I’m struggling a lot. In the videos, they make it look so easy. I think it would be useful to rewrite the User’s Guide. 😡

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 21, 2014 4:04 pm

      C’mon guys, I really need some help here. Was just fiddlin’ w/ my new map and it involves a harbor w/ a lot of boats. I’ve placed rowboats, sailboats and the ship from the oceans symbols in CC3. However, I need to flip some of them. With something like that, how do you place symbols so they’re aligned properly. This map calls for placing hundreds of boats and I’ve got to be out of my mind to start something like this, but I’m insane anyway. How do I flip the symbols I have and place others properly?

      And btw, I’m still trying to figure out this print thing and GaryCon is looming.

  97. The Queen of Pure Thought Originating in the North permalink
    September 21, 2014 3:34 pm

    and, and,

    You guys are not funny, so you should be asking yourselves why you are here. What are you doing?

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 21, 2014 3:59 pm

      Thank you now will you please BUY SOMETHING so I can keep the lights on?

  98. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 21, 2014 5:10 pm

    I dunno about the rest of you guys, but I’m totally freaking out over this double whammy the last dozen or so comments. I don’t think The Queen is Kunt. And Bloodymage is so convincing I’ve got the chills.

    In the name of Runswithscissors I shall not fear.

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 21, 2014 6:39 pm

      I just can’t do the things I used to do and I don’t know how to slow down. So, here I am, once more, musing about a place w/o a lot of traffic, quiet, but close to gamers and gaming. That, to me, spells the Midwest somewhere, but I’ve already made three “this is it” moves and moving has become highly stressful to a man alone with too much crap, especially on a fixed income with no savings and mediocre credit.So, I’m musing here again, contemplating torturing myself yet again in an attempt to find my paradise. Any fuel for my musings, or even places available.

      Still looking for a roommate. I’m a grumpy old man, but I treat my fellow gamers as brothers and sisters. 😀

      Be advised that I will likely have my service dog with me and that I have some health problems which prevent me from functioning completely normally. Another disabled vet would be ideal.Just an instance of life not treating me right. All this has become very hard work for me, so all I can do is trooper on.

      • Stinkor Forneus permalink
        September 21, 2014 6:50 pm

        Bloo-Bot?

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 21, 2014 11:10 pm

      There are a couple of “tells” when Brandoch Durr Hurr posts- in the case of the current ‘nym, it’s his use of the word “rubbish”. I rarely hear it used, we say “garbage” or “trash” or, increasingly, basura (lo siento, Martillo del Dios Thor, pinche puto baboso pato). Kent almost never gets the cadences of the American vernacular 100% right, all those viewings of “Columbo” notwithstanding. It was bad enough when he was writing on his masturbatory fantasy about that podcast chick, his masturbatory fantasies about Scott are much, much worse.

      The Blooey posts are old cut-and-paste jobs. Looks like someone’s compililing the “Blooeynomicon” (2d6 sanity loss).

      • Unicron Ahrimanes permalink
        September 22, 2014 4:23 am

        Does it at least contain any new spells?

      • bloodymage permalink
        September 22, 2014 6:17 am

        I have never like the Vancian system of spellcasting. Daily spell slots seem extremely artificial to me, not to mention ineffective at low levels. I’ve always used a mana system for my magic users and I want to post here what I might call a “supplication system” for my clerics.

        Clerics cast spells at the pleasure of their god. All spells are almost always available to them, including needs (miracles) expressed on the spot. A cleric has no need of spell books, though records are kept in temples and monasteries, is not required to memorize spells, though many become familiar to them, and cannot actually overcast. However, to cast a prescribed spell (from PHB or other sourcebook) the cleric must at least have seen the ritual forms and heard the incantations to know enough to put the request (spell) in a form favorable to his god (this chance is 70%-10%/level of spell+10%/level of caster). All spells are at the pleasure (or whim) of their god. Clerics have a base 30% chance of spell failure. Deities of good or evil alignments modify this by 5% either way. Law and chaos effect 10% modification. Chance is also modified by your Wis bonus (1% per). Finally, chance of failure is improved by 2%/clerical level. Welba, a 1st level LG cleric with 15 Wis wants to cast a cure light wounds. She must roll higher than an 13 on d% to succeed. Caser, the CN cleric (15 Wis) requires a 38% to succeed! Remember, clerics have access to all clerical spells and no limit on how often they supplicate to be granted one. 1% is always failure. There are usually no catastrophic failures, though a cleric with a capricious god may be in for a few surprises! Of course it works the other way, too. That same capricious deity may decide to turn in the cleric’s favor at the last possible moment and grant success! If a cleric supplicates to “overcast”, success is reduced by 20%/level of spell level over the caster’s ability. This difficulty, and any failure chance, may be overcome by increasing the amount of supplication (casting time) to the deity for a particular boon at the rate of 1%/round. There is always at least a 1% (100 on d%) chance of success with any clerical spell, unless the cleric is totally out of favor.

        OK, now I’m still tweaking this. It seems complicated, but we’ve played a variant of this and it works pretty well. Each cleric ends up with a base chance of failure modified by level. Pretty simple, actually. One problem we’ve found is defining what the cleric knows and is capable of. I’ve tried to remedy that with the refererence to “prescribed spells”. Another issue that’s come up is that LG clerics are going to end up ruling the world! I haven’t figured out how to incorporate the fecklessness of divinity and still make clerics deity-dependent.

      • September 22, 2014 6:20 am

        I knew it was Kent as soon as I saw the word “queen.”

      • Stinkor Forneus permalink
        September 22, 2014 6:55 am

        Will I be able to purchase the blooeynomicon as a shower curtain? How about on a pair of flip flops?

  99. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 21, 2014 7:28 pm

    (*Deep bow*. Hopefully taken by those watching as respect for an excellent and well researched impersonation, while in reality am bowing in confused fear of the possible reality)

    • Stinkor Forneus permalink
      September 22, 2014 6:53 am

      What’s especially unsettling about Bloo-Bot is that his replies fit so seamlessly into the conversation….

      The algorithm behind Bloo-Bot is truly ingenious. It takes the original post, parses out the key words and ideas, searches the internet for a matching Blooey response, and returns it to the thread under the guise of a new post.

      I hope whoever did this builds a robot of Blooey’s avatar so such a brilliant piece of code can have a body one day.

      *deep bow, tips hat*

      • Stinkor Forneus permalink
        September 22, 2014 7:08 am

        Holy Shit! The Bloo-Bot code is beyond genius! It actually takes Blooey posts from multiple sites an sources and recombines them into a coherent (at least Blooey coherent) new whole!

        Whenever you build the bloodymage avatar robot, whoever you are, make sure it isn’t a pleasure model. We don’t want Kent doing the nasty to our Blooey, virtual or otherwise.

      • bloodymage permalink
        September 22, 2014 7:15 am

        I used to love music. I still do, but I like my own music, not everyone else’s! Three weeks. Lord help me through this. Just took a shower ’cause my bowels are acting up. I’m clean for the moment. Won’t last long with my body. Eat, pee, crap, rinse, clean, repeat. And I’m trying to pack without hurting myself (cut myself once already and bruises!) Waiting for the laundry now…

      • Stinkor Forneus permalink
        September 22, 2014 7:18 am

        Oh, Bloo-Bot! Now you’re just showing off!

      • bloodymage permalink
        September 22, 2014 9:22 am

        That’s a feather in my cap I don’t need.

  100. Destro Dispater permalink
    September 22, 2014 7:36 am

    Does it at least contain any new spells?

    The Blooeynimicon does indeed contain spells, such as “Transmute Stink to Money”, which has a 99.999999% failure rate.

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 22, 2014 9:09 am

      Always working. Coming up is a “Treatise on Magic,” a “Treatise on Magic,” “Life at Sea and Naval Engagements,” and SKILLS: A Roleplaying System.” Still waiting on my cartographer to come through with his maps and still looking for talent. I gripe about working with graphics but it’s actually easier than writing, less thinking. Layout, however, is not easy. Guess I’ll take another shot at it tomorrow. If I don’t get some help soon, I’m surely going to lose my mind.

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 22, 2014 9:10 am

      I really wish I could attract some key people. This two-man show is getting old. We need an artist, a copy editor, a layout person, a webmaster and a marketing manager. These are all hats I’m personally wearing (well, the artist bit for me is more graphic design) and it’s slow, exacting work.

      Still determined to getting this albatross flying.

  101. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    September 22, 2014 9:19 am

    Man, the Bloo Bot is fucking with me. Uncanny Valley stuff.

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 22, 2014 9:24 am

      I’m still basically subsisting on a fixed income doing this just for love of the hobby.

  102. Master Blaster Belial permalink
    September 22, 2014 10:35 am

    OK, Faggi is pimping more product. Not the missing adventures epople already paid for from the 2012 now-or-never campaign (lookoing more like never), but a stunning new save-the-world adventure, only with cocks on the cover!

    http://lotfp.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-idea-from-space.html

    Not only that, there is some clever illustration on the inside with some people sucking tendrils that are – you guessed it – shaped like cocks! Edgy!

    That Raggs, going all out in the name of quality!

    • justme permalink
      September 22, 2014 1:07 pm

      Fear the Phallus Weed !

      • bloodymage permalink
        September 22, 2014 1:31 pm

        Not a fan of porn, but they’re people too. 😳

      • justme permalink
        September 22, 2014 4:15 pm

        Plants aren’t people even if they can stick a wang in your face.

      • Master Blaster Belial permalink
        September 22, 2014 4:39 pm

        #notallplants

  103. Dumb Dungeoneers permalink
    September 22, 2014 11:30 am

    Steven Warble is my new hero:
    So, you’re critical of a the “*World” crowd for producing two somewhat similar games of post-apocalyptic adventure, yet you’re a self-proclaimed fan of the OSR, which primarily produces somewhat similar games of dungeon-crawling and murder-hobo-ing. Interesting…
    http://www.tenkarstavern.com/2014/09/kickstarter-broken-world-post.html#comment-form

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 22, 2014 1:26 pm

      Maybe I wasn’t clear. I don’t have an e-mail list of gaming contacts. I’d post on one of the myriad of gaming forums of which I’m a member, but this puppy isn’t a great fit on any of them. As a d20 variant, I could post on ENWorld, but I quit visiting there some time ago. Likewise for RPG.net. I suppose it might fly on the Cthulhu boards, but they’re pretty dedicated to mythos gaming. So, for now, this is the only outlet for me to find players for this game. At least make an inquiry if it tickles your interest at all.

    • Stinkor Forneus permalink
      September 22, 2014 3:49 pm

      That was an epic smackdown, not just of Tenkar’s Turdshack, but the entire blOwSR!

    • Master Blaster Belial permalink
      September 22, 2014 4:51 pm

      That dude laid down the law. Clicked on his name and he’s got a blog.

      If we keep sexy lexi relevant to the blOwSR, we can at least give this guy a bunch of hits the next day or two, as a reward for pointing out the reality of das osr.

      http://lawfulgoodmindflayer.blogspot.com/

  104. Harlequin Laughs permalink
    September 22, 2014 12:25 pm

    http://blogofholding.com/?p=6671

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 22, 2014 1:11 pm

      I’m fairly particular about what games I play and it would be nice if GMs were required to list their game system. Some list it in the description but it should be placed in the “Currently Playing” field. It would help me keep away from the spiky armor stuff. 😀

      Oh, and a damned description should be required or at least a hook. This “King for a Day” w/ no accompanying text and no idea of the system played shuts down my interest immediately.

      C’mon, you guys can do better than that. I’m stuck plucking w/ one finger and I have two games detailed.

    • The Misfits Mephisto permalink
      September 22, 2014 1:46 pm

      “Playtesting provided by over 175,000 fans of D&D.” Surprised to see so few OSR blogs citing this as proof of their influence.

      • bloodymage permalink
        September 22, 2014 2:57 pm

        Well, it was a long time coming. This stuff just isn’t easy anymore. My first draft of the Keep It Simple System was confusing according to the feedback I received. I had put it up on RPGNow as a free playtest download, but maybe I am getting smarter. This will be offered as a free download on Polyhedron Games LLC for a limited time to provide playtesting opportunities. Hopefully, this version is playable. There is a comment section for playtesting on the site. Please use that to register your observations. I can’t post this on the KenzerCo boards due to their strict rules on advertising so this is going to be announced in only three places. Through February 12th, you can download the rules for free on the “Upcoming Products” page. Please, don’t take advatage of this unless you can truly provide a playtest experience.

        It’s “Keep It Simple System.” Please, I’m getting ready to publish this little gem, but I need playtesters.

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 22, 2014 1:13 pm

      I hate doing things over and over and over again. I’ve placed tokens in my demo campaign several times but the damned things won’t stay on the map. tried hitting “enter” after placement but that didn’t do any good. What am I doing wrong? Tried to set up for tonight and the tokens just disappear when I migrate away. Trying to fiddle w/ the Library and they won’t drag and drop. This crap is just making me bonkers. And, Lord help me, I have a game tonight for HackMaster, one of the most complex games in print, at least for me but my whole damned life is complicated!

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 22, 2014 1:15 pm

      I’ve been offline too long and I have a lot of catching up to do w/ my business. I’m not the greatest at this computer stuff and this mode of play is more labor-intensive than live play. That’s what I’m going to stick with from now on (tho pbp is still viable). Aside from that, I’m still struggling to get moved in and with a new fiancé (combining 12 decades of living) and 3 dogs, life is just too hectic. My apologies.

  105. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 22, 2014 1:24 pm

    This. This site should now be just this. All Blooey all the time. Till Bloobot takes over in some kind of Skynet gambit. We’ll know we’ve had enough when thousands of leather-jacketed Blooeyborgs, armed with pulse rifles in the 10,000 watt range, roam the rubbled battlezones and we all exit this world.

    • bloodymage permalink
      September 22, 2014 1:28 pm

      Well, I may as well post and toot my horn. It’s a small step, but my first two products are on RPGNow, “Train in a Cup” and “A Day at the Races.” And there’s more… I’ve decided to make my simple rules system generally available. You can grab the preliminary playtest version at RPGNow or in the Upcoming Products section of my website for free. I need playtest evaluators. Thanks.

      • Destro Dispater permalink
        September 22, 2014 2:53 pm

        Your special edition for female gamers, “Two Girls, One Train in a Cup”, was a great product. All the gals in the women’s correctional facility love it.

      • bloodymage permalink
        September 22, 2014 3:04 pm

        Sorry, hafta quit the giveaways. This will get your creative juices flowing in generating business names.

        The “Gamaster’s Adventure Template” is doing well. Plenty have also dowloaded my free products. However, I’d like to point you to my other products. All have been reworked since the reviews were written to accomadate those critcisms. Both “A Day at the Races” and “Train in a Cup” are inexpensive little games good for an evening’s entertainment. KISS™ was panned when I offered it as a free playtest download. It’s been redone and should be given another chance. “The Quirtoin Affair” is my first module set in the land of Ert utilizing KISS™ mechanics, but it can be set in any world and played with any rules systems.

    • Destro Dispater permalink
      September 22, 2014 2:50 pm

      The Bloomungus rules the waste!

      • bloodymage permalink
        September 22, 2014 3:06 pm

        Eat, pee, crap, rinse, clean, repeat.

    • Asmodeus Megatron. permalink
      September 22, 2014 3:55 pm

      No meaning. No purpose. Only Blooey. And in this void of purpose, WE SHALL AT LONG LAST BE FREE.

      EAT PEE CRAP RINSE CLEAN REPEAT EAT PEE CRAP RINSE CLEAN REPEAT EAT PEE CRAP RINSE CLEAN REPEAT EAT PEE CRAP RINSE CLEAN REPEAT EAT PEE CRAP RINSE CLEAN REPEAT

  106. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 22, 2014 4:25 pm

    I’d for sure play “The Squirtin’ Affair” set in the land of “Uh!” if it utilizes the S.U.C.K. system, knowwhatimean, Vern?

  107. The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
    September 22, 2014 4:43 pm

    I’m falling in love with bloodymage all over again..

  108. Tenser's Flogging Dicks permalink
    October 9, 2014 2:11 pm

    Venger seems like a nice dude. Just figured he had a terrible childhood or something.

    • October 9, 2014 7:17 pm

      I feel like I could have a nice time with him and his family at a restaurant, like an Olive Garden or an Outback Steakhouse, but I would probably make an excuse not to attend dinner at his home.

      • Tenser's Flogging Dicks permalink
        October 11, 2014 2:12 pm

        Sure, certainly not on the first date.

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