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Zak S and RPGPundit are NOT homosexuals, okay?!?!?

August 3, 2014

Hi there, fellow OSR. Well, we’ve had a craaaaazy last couple of weeks. Let’s skip right to the point. Close to half a dozen, or maybe even a thousand or more, OSR bloggers have had to step forward to defend one of our own, Zak Smabbath, from disgusting, hurtful, filthy, and totally untrue charges that he is a HOMOSEXUAL and even a TRANSHOMO, which I don’t even know what is??? Check out some heroes ready to put this queer fuss to rest:

http://falsemachine.blogspot.com/2014/07/zak-smith-is-not-homophobe.html
http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2014/jun/05/zak-hardaker-leeds-rhinos-apology-homophobic-comments
http://monstermanualsewnfrompants.blogspot.com/2014/07/just-for-record.html

I hereby add myself to the chorus of voices that can state, definitively, Zak S is not homogay or a transtesticle, or any of that nonsense. Do you hear that, Internet Haters? Zak would NEVER put his penis into a manbutt. NEVER! And cut it off to pretend he’s a girl or something? NO. FUCKING. WAY. He has a girlfriend, DUUUUUUUUUH!!! Herp-di-derp much, Haters?

Zak, please add this as a link in your next post that lists all your defenders against charges you are gendergross. RPGPundit, you can add me too — no one else has come to your defense yet, which must make you feel kinda lonely compared to Zak, but HERE I AM TO SAY RPGPUNDIT DOES NOT GAY!!!

I also challenge the Internet Haters: if you can find, anywhere, a picture of Zak S or RPGPundit doing gay, post a link in my comments section. I bet there won’t be any links posted. [Please don’t post faked-out links to stuff where it’s not Zak S or RPGPundit doing a gayness but you say it is, that would not be in the spirit of manners.] I’m confident that this can become the ultimate resource to prove that Zak S is not protohomo and RPGPundit is not transtardic.

Now can we put this homosexual nonsense behind us and get back to PLAYING DUNGEONS & DRAGONS GAMES??!!

Sorry perverts, not on Zak S or RPGPundit's watch!

Sorry perverts, not on Zak S or RPGPundit’s watch!

396 Comments leave one →
  1. Timotheus permalink
    August 3, 2014 8:43 am

    It is pretty funny that the Zak apologists are swarming over the net in all their Stockholmish glory, but the defense of the Pundick has been a few token “I guess he’s not transphobic” comments on the rpgshite.

  2. August 3, 2014 9:32 am

    Kudos to the one called YDIS for this courageous and noble post! You are special! Since it appears to be Fleet Week around here and they say a gentleman always reaches around, I would like to reciprocate your brave gesture by denouncing the LIES that Zachary or John appears in this video:

    http://go-gaytube.com/old-man-with-mustache-masturbation_18363.html

    It is not them, people!! Of course it might be one of the other consultants. I would need to check my files.

    Another fine message from
    GOD

  3. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 3, 2014 10:08 am

    You need to use more tags like #D&D #DnDNext #5e #Hasbro #familygamenight etc etc. I want parents checking out the new Dungeons & Dragons for their kids to find YDIS first.

    • turdburglar permalink
      August 3, 2014 1:01 pm

      #like

      I wish my parents had great resources like this when I joined this colossal waste of time, money and social standing.

  4. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    August 3, 2014 10:40 am

    Zak’s not homosexual, he’s hairdosexual.

  5. turdburglar permalink
    August 3, 2014 12:59 pm

    So what is the logic behind starting new topics? Is it something new happens in the world of RPGs, the old topic burns out or that it takes 20 minutes to scroll to the bottom of the replies?

    This place should grow up a bit and operate more like a forum. Folders devoted to each of the OSR royalty, who’s gay and just how gay are they, anti-
    fan art and all that.

    Just run it without moderators and watch the fun.

    • August 3, 2014 1:17 pm

      I try never to get too close to BloodyMage’s OSR record for comments, which I think is nine-hundred-something…

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 3, 2014 2:45 pm

        One of you guys with limitless time on their hands (about 80% of the OSR and 55% of the folk here) really should compile a list of links to all the great Blooeyposts here, on other forums, and just to help keep the lights on go ahead and link to his company pages and so anybody who shops through Amazon can go through the link on his product page. Help keep the pirate ship afloat.

        Such a rich history. It’s hard to believe that even long before Pollycon and Blooeyeggs we were being held spellbound by his adventures with Spambots, “Waiting for Godot” moments at Arizona Denny’s eagerly (but futility) awaiting fresh new game friends to show up loaded with gaming goodness, nervously peering out the window at door-to-door Mormons, going on his Meetup.com page to chastise players he had not even met yet for failing to show up and help him with one of his tri-Yearly moves, cross-country “Trains, Planes, and shitty broke down Toyota pick-ups” adventures to cons where he would often show up weeks early, sleepytime in church parking lots (where maybe Mormons peered nervously out the window at HIM), and…

        Wait, what were we talking about? Oh right, Zak.

        Fuck that faggot.

      • August 3, 2014 5:25 pm

        Whoa, why is everybody looking at me? Fuck, compiling all of Bloo’s posts in one document? I don’t even know the Blooey Decimal System.

  6. Jack permalink
    August 3, 2014 2:29 pm

    I don’t know why, but this latest episode has confirmed my belief that the “hobby” is not playing games; the hobby is the almost entirely about the drama of it all.

    “Weighing in” has become a sad dance wherein the dancer is either screaming “Look at me! Give me a seat at the big kid’s table!” or “I’m still relevant! The world hasn’t passed me by just because their is a new edition!”

    • August 3, 2014 5:30 pm

      Even when we’re playing games, it’s not about playing games… you’ve got the rules lawyer, the torture freak, the in-game rape fantasy creep, the neckbeard thespian, the drunk, and the blood-n-gore fascinated DM who wants to describe every arterial spurt in loving detail.

      “I slowly back away from the table and ready a smoke-bomb, noting the location of the nearest window…”

      • Scott permalink
        August 3, 2014 7:46 pm

        dibs on “drunk”

      • August 3, 2014 8:14 pm

        Ratfarts! I think I’ll be the slightly off dude who plays a promiscuous female gnome.

    • kaptainvon permalink
      August 4, 2014 3:29 am

      “I don’t know why, but this latest episode has confirmed my belief that the “hobby” is not playing games; the hobby is the almost entirely about the drama of it all.”

      Are we talking about the gaming hobby or the blogging-about-gaming hobby?

      There’s a crucial distinction there. I don’t generally have time to play and blog and so one generally takes a dive unless I’m out of work for a bit. Alas, nobody’s prepared to shell out for a taste of the old haemorrhoids any more, so I may have to do some actual roleplaying to fill my time…

      • Jack permalink
        August 4, 2014 6:50 am

        You could divide them up, but I think we all know at this point which slice is the bigger piece of the pie.

    • Your Mom permalink
      August 5, 2014 7:13 am

      So much rich irony in the up and coming drama clown Jack Shear posting this. The only thing sadder than a grog BlOwSR Pope is a Goth contingent faculty Anti-Pope.

      • Jack permalink
        August 5, 2014 8:57 am

        I hurt your feelings at some point, didn’t I?

  7. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 3, 2014 3:51 pm

    Defending him on homophobic/sexist issues is one thing. Those are real world issues you can have opinion about without being an ass kisser. And Raggi has some chump change to perhaps make off The Unblown with Zak in the future, but these guys like Reints just chiming in to defend him as a person, “he may have pissed off some people, but he is always nice to me,” just seems kind of pathetic. It really reinforces this echo chamber mentality. “I can’t really say I’m friends with the guy, but…” should be enough to make a grown man say “fuck it, he’s a grown ass man and can take care of himself.” A “very special” non-gaming post to prop up the weird creep is just kind of eerie.

    Jeff, stick to your cartoon dungeons and stop trying to be a bro to somebody you never met, who would probably turn on you in an instant if you said something he didn’t like. And you’d be all “b…but I made a post defending you, my prince of getting paid (next to nothing) to fuck and art n’ stuff…”

    Lordy lord, what a bunch of fucking Jack-offs in this chickenshit hobby (he said angrily due to a Bulleit Whiskey hangover).

  8. Playa Hater's Handbook permalink
    August 3, 2014 10:13 pm

    Why the fuck does Zak has friends/cult members at all? He’s a poorly socialized 14-year-old who confuses reading the dictionary with being a skilled communicator. Is there some split personality thing where Zak is waste of space but “Zach” is a genuinely nice person?

    • Playa Hater's Handbook permalink
      August 3, 2014 10:27 pm

      Oh, for fuck’s sake, I found Zak’s girlfriend’s Twitter posts. Apparently if Zak victimized you, you need to post full details in public, or at least email them to someone with a business relationship with Zak and who has incentive to declare that Zak isn’t a hideous person. If you don’t, you’re a liar. And if the details you provide don’t meet an arbitrary standard of proof, you’re a liar. And if you’re a liar, you should be publicly shamed. Not harassed, mind you, that would be wrong. Just ostracized and refused work.

      It’s important to protect Zak’s reputation, and she’ll destroy as many reputations to do so as necessary.

      I guess shitholes stick togeher.

      • Massive Girder Fuck permalink
        August 4, 2014 6:10 am

        Giant titted Criplord to the rescue!

      • Hansgruber permalink
        August 5, 2014 7:25 pm

        D&D is dead.

  9. justme permalink
    August 4, 2014 6:45 am

    I don’t much care for the revised barracks art shown here from LGBT-2, the original Erol Otis piece was much better even if the line work was a little sloppy, it was 78and he was still learning the craft.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 4, 2014 8:46 am

      LGBT-2 – that was the Anal Rift of the Frost Giant Jarl, correct? A classic. Been a while since I checked out those modules…

      • justme permalink
        August 6, 2014 4:27 am

        The colon polyps on level 2 were a TPK for 90% of the tournament teams.

  10. Timotheus permalink
    August 4, 2014 9:03 am

    I hope you didn’t really ban diogen – she was just getting warmed up! She could have milked the cutting-edge “yer mom’s basement” meme for five or six more comments.

  11. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 4, 2014 3:32 pm

    http://monstermanualsewnfrompants.blogspot.com/2014/07/just-for-record.html

    This tranny gamer as listed above in the OP heartily defends “Friend Zak” then goes on to post a table that is totally batshit. Needle fights and cheese weapons. Hey, I’d like to think of Sluts with Nuts as normal people, but this shit ain’t helping. They should probably not be involved in gaming at all, as that makes at least two very weird and outcasty (as an adult) things to make society wonder what the fuck is wrong with you. I wonder if Zak and PantsManual actually have met. Maybe he/she would come over on a Saturday night to Zak’s shitbox Hwood apartment and dance around on the couch “sword fighting” with Zak while Mandy claps and squeals with dee-lite…

  12. Timotheus permalink
    August 4, 2014 4:13 pm

    FAGGI4ALERT!!!

    A brand new dickstarter from the Ragged one!

    https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/no-salvation-for-witches-a-pay-what-you-want-book

    This one changes EVERYTHING about your campaign! Save the fucking world cannibal-style (for the sixth time)! It will shake up your boring-ass LOTFAP campaign like a Zakattack cum shot to the nose!

    Pay what the fuck you want! As long it is at least 1 euro!

    But only one copy per 200 euro pledge, you greedy stockholm bastards!

    Its got TITTIES and BUSH and (LOTFAP standard-issue) mysogyny and chicks puking blood monsters!

    If you buy just one LOTFAP product from your mom’s basement, MAKE MINE FAGGI!!!

    #NOCISD&D

    • F 1-2-3 .... Against the Fatbeards permalink
      August 4, 2014 4:28 pm

      In (un) related news .. the Puntdick publishes his review of the Raggster’s God that Crawls
      http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=30202

      Umm.. how long has that been out now ?

      • turdburglar permalink
        August 4, 2014 6:09 pm

        So it’s PARANOIA, but with dick-monsters instead.

      • Scott permalink
        August 4, 2014 10:15 pm

        Paranoia would be one of my favorite games ever if it weren’t for the Holloway art. It’s also what keeps me from enjoying B4 Lost City, I1 Dwellers, MM2, and a large percentage of the small percentage of readable 80s Dragon. Replace his art with Otus, Tramp, Russ, DCS, whoever else and I’d love those products. Can’t help it, bad art keeps me from enjoying it.

        Mainly replying because I forgot to check the notification box last time.

      • August 4, 2014 10:40 pm

        But… all those artists you named are bad artists, though distinctive.

      • Scott permalink
        August 4, 2014 10:55 pm

        They may be bad artists, but they’re fantastic illustrators. What the fuck is wrong with you

      • August 4, 2014 11:13 pm

        I think Holloway could evoke Granny Grimtits with sublime authenticity.

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 4, 2014 11:28 pm

        Holloway is the god damn fucking badfuckingass man, mother fuckface. He and Raupp.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        August 5, 2014 7:58 am

        Holloway could do action scenes that conveyed movement really well, but his people always looked stupid, like overgrown children.

        He’s not different from many of the classic TSR artists: technically awful, but with a distinct style, which I guess is a little better than Parkinson or Elmore, who were more technically accomplished but bland as all get-out.

        Caldwell was maybe a decent compromise between the two: he had technique and a bit of flair, if you define “flair” as “lotsa almost nekkid chicks.”

      • August 5, 2014 8:07 am

        I hated Caldwell. His subjects were posed to the point of being mannequins, and the boner he had for feathers was dopey.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        August 5, 2014 1:24 pm

        Clyde was just showing us how noble the Native Americans are, like Ted Nugent does.

        Now that you mention it, yeah, if his figures weren’t in some porn pose they were a bit rubbery-looking.

        But at least he never produced an atrocity like the original Monster Manual cover.

    • Scott permalink
      August 5, 2014 1:11 am

      And In fact, in Rand McNally, people wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        August 5, 2014 3:41 am

        Has this place officially turned into burgerblog?

        Does the sinister Burgerblog Group rule the world from the shadows?

      • August 5, 2014 6:32 am

        For fuck’s sake, you burger hounds. I had a religious experience over the weekend: two all-beef patties, bacon, GRUYERE. How long has this been going on?

        Really just interested in hearing when ’80s Dragon was readable. Even as a surly tween, Kim Mohan threw me off my burgers. And there was all those Holloway portraits of cosmic halflings and shit like that. But what else makes that era of the magazine (e.g., most of it) so awful? Why don’t we do a diner blog, I mean “read along” and figure it out?

      • August 6, 2014 10:17 pm

        Basically, most issues before the Ecology of … articles started appearing are OK. That’s been my benchmark for a while.

  13. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 5, 2014 11:20 am

    Sure, burgers have been mentioned a lot lately here, but I would point out that we don’t use terms like “grilling with the GF while drinking a fine Devil’s Balls Ale” type stuff as loser mega-dorks like Wheggi seems to do in forums. We might mention a food we like or a or drank we like, but we don’t have to add little details in the hopes that dipshittards on a forum we never met know what the fuck we are into outside the basics. It’s just man-talk, not man-child talk. Very not-so-subtle difference.

    But I still think putting relish on a burger is some gay-ass Frenchman type shit (AM PM crapbugers aside, where you just throw the kitchen sink on ’em). Dip your fries in a bowl of mayo while you’re at it.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 5, 2014 11:59 am

      Drinking a Genny Cream Ale and eating a Big Mac with my tranny “girl”friend while cupping my balls then sniffing my fingers?

    • August 5, 2014 1:50 pm

      I like my burgers like I like my men: gay as shit, and also Thai with boyish features.

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 5, 2014 1:57 pm

        So you really are Kellri! Inspector Poag was right!

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      August 5, 2014 5:07 pm

      Show me a man who does not appreciate a bowl of fries with some mayo on the side and i will show you a holocaust apologist.

      True story.

      • justme permalink
        August 6, 2014 4:01 am

        Mayo with fries? Darned commie canadian ploy to undermine the U.S. ketchup trade.

      • August 6, 2014 7:12 am

        And yet, so fucking true. Fries must be crinkle cut and well done, though. I can’t tolerate no limp soggy fries!

      • Sykirobme permalink
        August 6, 2014 7:34 am

        We have a Belgian Ale place around here that serves fries with various types of mayo…I’d’a never’ve thunked it, but they’re flippin awesome with a nice steak with ale reduction…

  14. Sykirobme permalink
    August 5, 2014 12:54 pm

    Zak’s WWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAmbulance in action:

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=30262

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 5, 2014 1:50 pm

      tl;dr. Zak has got to be on public assistance to have this much free time on his hands. That means he’s making money from gaming and not reporting it. Time to talk to my buddy at the IRS to take a deeper look.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 6, 2014 10:24 am

        Or at the very least, someone should tell the social worker that Mandy sat in a puddle of her own piss and feces for 72 hours, adult diaper unchanged, while Zak went on the attack.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        August 6, 2014 11:11 am

        That’s not neglect, she was prepping for a scat-fetish shoot.

        #poopooingallovertheplace

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 5, 2014 1:56 pm

      Jesus, Zak is a total pussy. None of that is an attack. People stating opinions, whether they make sense or not, is not an attack. Zak’s three year stalk of those girls is a prolonged attack, however. And Mandy’s automated drivel in that g+ thread is an attack. Sad, but not unexpected, to see the ‘Shite drones licking his boots.

      For someone who dishes the personal insults out, he sure can’t take even the mildest disagreement.

      Fucking pussy.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        August 6, 2014 7:32 am

        I think it’s funny that John Kim, defender of special cuddly feelings, calls him out. If even that milquetoast mofo isn’t with you on this issue, you know you’re doing something wrong.

      • Jack permalink
        August 6, 2014 9:34 am

        Anyone taking bets whether or not jhkim will be called a “pigfucker” by the time this has run its course?

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 6, 2014 11:17 am

        Odds: 7 to 5. If not by his Zakness, by one of his drones.

        After all, Zak is just trying to do the right thing.

    • August 5, 2014 1:57 pm

      Haha using Pundit’s forum to complain about people who say shitty things, that’s rich. Why not post it here, too?

    • Zak's Absent Father permalink
      August 5, 2014 2:01 pm

      Remember, those people are totally unimportant but it *is* totally important to obsessively document everything they’ve ever said on the Internet because

      Also, if it’s legally actionable maybe he should lawyer up instead of documenting it on one of the few forums that will have him?

    • justme permalink
      August 6, 2014 4:13 am

      Wow, who gives a shit? Oh no someone doesn’t think nude penis polishers are role models for women in gaming….so what?
      I never would have seenwhat zak is bithcing about without zak bitching about it.
      A few of the gals I used to hang out with were strippers and prostitutes I had the good sense to keep my dick out of them and not spend too long worrying about their opinions. Being a whore doesn’t make someone a bad person but it does indicate they don’t always make very sound decissions. Get back to “art” and game writing (about 20% of the game stuff was okayish).

  15. Timotheus permalink
    August 6, 2014 3:41 am

    Zak, from his thread attacking two girls:

    “Reasonable people can claim that if I was just nicer to clearly irrational people I could do the work over time to make them rational. But I figure: I haven’t got that much time or energy.”

    HAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAA!!!!!!!

    He has spent the last 72 hours straight blowing off his hospital-ridden girlfriend so he can stalk and defame and beg support on c-list forums and G+ threads, but he doesn’t have time to be a decent guy.

    And Zak referring to another human being as “clearly irrational.” If his appearance did not indicate an absnce of mirrors, his words surely doth.

    And now he claims lawyers have told him some silly blog can be sued over libel. Then sue him, punk – prove to everybody that you are right.

    This is really getting good.

    • Zak's Absent Father permalink
      August 6, 2014 6:01 am

      His crack team of law-bros is probably just Joethelawyer.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 6, 2014 11:32 am

        Then Zak has a reason now to not ignore Joe The Unblown’s over-eager ramblings and coat tail pulling at his next big art show in Noo Yawk…

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        August 6, 2014 11:56 am

        Next big art show in NY? I think that ship has sailed, never to return.

      • August 6, 2014 12:52 pm

        The nightmarish thought of drunk blowjob Lawyer Joe reviews of future shows got me to do a bed check on the gallery. Their site is still promoting the show that supposedly ended July 24. Nothing on the “future” page but they tend to shut down in August so don’t get your hopes up. Zak is about middle of their list in terms of art world rankings and also age — at an epicene 38, he’s creaking into the old man bracket, even though he still scores about the same as kids 5 to 7 years younger. So far they trot him out every few years, which means we might be spared another 18 months or so.

        Funnily enough, their current book is 90% dudes. Recent reviews are scattered and often come across as the equivalent of popcorn farting. I’m not saying the guy needs better representation; this is the representation he has.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        August 6, 2014 1:21 pm

        In four years, he’ll be painting “erotic” Thomas Kincaid knockoffs.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 7, 2014 9:22 am

        “His crack team of law-bros is probably just Joethelawyer.”
        You would think Zak would have met someone across the quad at the Yale School of Law at some point during his art school tenure and wouldn’t need that bottom tier (law school), bottom feeder (ambulance chaser), power bottom (gay) JoetheLawyer.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      August 6, 2014 10:18 am

      Jesus tittyfucking Christ, they’ve gone from writing about elf games, to arguing about elf games, to arguing about arguments about elf games.

      Sayonara, OSR, you pose no threat to Hasbro whatsoever.

  16. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 6, 2014 10:19 am

    It really is telling that the release of D&D Next has become all about Zak S cult of personality, a guy whose claim to fame is he got an advanced copy of the manuscript and looked it over*. NOBODY is talking about the actual GAME, and parents looking at the game potentially for their kids from the Minecraft/Call of Duty generation who will never give a fuck about boring tabletop shit let alone read a book they don’t have to get to see the Zak S controversy first, right up front like a giant wart. For Hasbro, lessons learned I guess for D&D 5.5e or 6e, which I predict will hit the shelves by mid 2016 or GenCon 2017.

    *Oh and he was in some homemade porn films the equivalent of vanity press and then wrote a Wikipedia article about himself to establish his “porn star” status. Yes, Hasbro, parents LOVE IT when pornographers are involved in games marketed for children, even 12 and up, and even if said porn “star” really isn’t.

    #RIP5e #D&DNextWeHardlyKnewYe #familygamenight #PornStarsPlayingD&D

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 6, 2014 11:14 am

      It might be a little longer than that before 5.5 or 6e. The all-Zak-all-the-time is a shame, because I hear it is a pretty decent game (from perdustin), so I will try it out from the more complete basic download or I’ll get the PH. But WOTC or Mearls by himself made the decision to tie the new edition to those fuckers, so they are reaping what they have sewn (as are Zak and the punkick).

      On the bright side, go to google and type in “Zak s” – make sure you hit the space after the s. The fourth suggestion that comes up is “zak s transphobic”. Ain’t that a shame?

  17. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 6, 2014 11:48 am

    The best part about Zak’s Wikipedia entry is how self-congratulatory it is. He so clearly wrote it himself that it’s almost surreal. You could name a well known porn star and there’s a good chance you won’t find a Wiki entry for her. But there’s Zak, stylish shirt and fucked up hair for all the world to admire.

    It’s all “porn porn porn” but nobody would know the fuck who Zak, Satine, and others where if they didn’t play D&D. They’d all be on Cosplay forums putting up the dukes with those idiots instead of these idiots.

  18. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    August 6, 2014 1:19 pm

    You know what I need, like, right now? A Bob Ross/Zak mashup- take an old Bob Ross show and dub in a commentary track by Zak.

    “Gonna paint some happy little trees.”
    “LIAR!”

  19. Sykirobme permalink
    August 6, 2014 1:26 pm

    This shit just gets better and better…now the ‘shite is maintaining its own version of grognards.txt or whatever the fuck it is people with no perspective on life do:

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=30270

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      August 6, 2014 1:34 pm

      “I have here in my hand a list…”

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 6, 2014 3:04 pm

      Pundick is just jealous that Zaky has been getting all the Next attention drama and nobody gives a fuck about him.

    • August 6, 2014 3:49 pm

      It’s like we don’t even exist to them 😦

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 7, 2014 9:16 am

      95% of the entries are about Big Purple Dildo permabans and posted by the same asshat permabanned.

  20. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    August 6, 2014 4:36 pm

    I really don’t get any of this. I can’t read too much of it at a time or my brain starts to hurt. Is there a Cliff’s Notes version of what’s going on here?

    Also, will these people be at Gencon? I want them to sign my DMG.

  21. August 6, 2014 5:29 pm

    Is John pushing the flashing red panic button? http://therpgpundit.blogspot.com/2014/08/on-outrage-fatigue-and-high-road.html

    A direct appeal to contact Mearls: smells like blood is in the water and the Dynamic Duo realize corporate is getting tired of this narrative. I just sent Mearls a message that it’s a shame the Boner Twins have hijacked the conversation of what he has worked so hard on, especially when their “work” in comparison is so minuscule.

    Send those emails, kids!

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 6, 2014 6:13 pm

      Tarnowsi, having laughed at murdered children, impotently, profanely rages in his politbureau against hordes of metaphysical foes trying to destroy our hobby; and he is honorable.

      Zak publishes screeds on blogs, on g+, and on forums against a fleeing woman who meekly disagreed with his viewpoint 3 years ago, 24 hours a day for three weeks; and he is just doing the right thing.

      It’s a two-headed Torquemada.

      Message sent to Mearls.

      • justme permalink
        August 7, 2014 4:19 am

        The high qualitty opinions of rude abrasive miscreants aren’t somehting worth being proud of?

        Here’s a high qualiy blog meme for 5th edition enthusiasts that mearls should start: classical D&D art worth fapping it to.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 7, 2014 9:13 am

        #HasbroD&DFappingBooks

    • August 6, 2014 6:24 pm

      Dear Mr Mearls:

      You really blew (bloo it?) when you didn’t hire Bloo E. Mage and Kent K. Kuntington as your “OSR Celebrity” consultants, and the resultant game will suffer as a result. If, perchance, you have access to chronomantic powers or a time-travel device of some sort, I implore you to travel back in time to hire the consultants that the gaming public would have chosen, had you put things up to a plebiscite.

      Your current consultants are divisive, and the online controversies they engender distracts from the product roll-out. Blooey and Kent, being universally loved by the role-playing community, would serve as the “uniters” the hobby needs.

      Chidingly,

      A Concerned Mother (fucker)

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 7, 2014 9:14 am

        #HasbroPervertMearlsGivesPornographersAccessToKidsThroughD&DNext

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 6, 2014 8:34 pm

      #HasbroFamilyGameNight #D&DNext #NonLibertarianSWINE #D&DwithPornStars #shareholdersmeeting@Hasbro

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      August 7, 2014 5:28 am

      Pundit’s shtick has improved considerably. Notice how he didn’t even ask for people to BUY HIS PRODUCT in order to show their support. Not once! The ole’ curmudgeon must be getting soft.

      #Singlemanlytear

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 7, 2014 9:18 am

        #WalletThing #PleaseBUYSOMETHINGandHelpMeKeeptheLightsOnSWINE!

  22. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 6, 2014 6:43 pm

    Choosy mothers who choose Jiff, and the makers of fine wholesome toys, need to be alerted to these pimps and other scary people who are the dark architects of a game meant for impressionable children to enjoy. Please do contact the company, and the media while you’re at it, to hold these unclean people accountable! Clue them in to Zak’s lauded pornographic past, and his current association with an amateur press whose D&D is of a decidedly satanic bent.

    And I forget where I saw it (XHamster?), but send corporate reps that fine example of Zak’s work where he porks his girlfriend and a normal young innocent (you can tell by the fact that her hair is not jacked up). That girl in the video is clearly right off the bus from points East, and seems confused as to what is going on. You know, like when in every 12th or so porno you watch and halfway through you can see the drugs wear off and regret on the girls face for what is happening to her? Yeah, that’s the look on that gal’s face. Share it with the company executives, won’t you? Don’t worry, it’s not very hot and you won’t get a boner from it.

    We can no longer allow our youthful pastimes to be usurped by miscreants who will taint our impressionable young ones, and unload weak, dribbly cumshots on to their bellies and faces. Take a stand! Blackleaf died for YOUR sins!

    • August 6, 2014 7:18 pm

      If “Concerned MILFs of America” isn’t an organization, it should be!

    • justme permalink
      August 7, 2014 4:15 am

      The y(WoTC) should get someone respectable like Ron “The Hedghof” Jeremy do some public apperances and endorsements for D&D. If your gonna slap a pornstar on your product might as well have a real one.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 7, 2014 10:59 am

        Heh. Every chick paired up with Ron on video the last 25 years has that “what the fuck have I done?” look on their kisser.

  23. August 7, 2014 4:09 am

    I made the mistake of going to the RPGSite this morning. Ye gods I have never seen such a gathering of stunted intellect and fawning disingenuousness in all my life. Well, except for my infrequent trips to RPG.net.

    Anyone care to take an over/under on when the Pundit will start handing out the kool-aid?

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      August 7, 2014 5:30 am

      Unlikely. Pundit is a buisnessman first, frothing lunatic second. There his no way Pundit’s hatred of the Swine will overcome his boundless greed and deepseated, cynical contempt for his audience. If he killed them, who would buy his product?

      • August 7, 2014 6:33 am

        I agree. He would charge exorbitant prices for the Kool-Aid.

  24. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 7, 2014 5:57 am

    This is today’s OSR turdosphere, moving beyond the simple reach around:

  25. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 7, 2014 9:08 am

    New Theory – Maybe Hasbro/WotC is deliberately trying to destroy D&D with the Zak S/Pundit melodrama? I mean, it makes sense in 2014 to finally put a bullet in tabletop RPGs in an age of far more profitable video games, doesn’t it? Now they can take the D&D brand out of the hands of the unblown manchildren with poorly wiped butt cracks (the OSR is where its at and a serious challenge to WotC, amirite? They could carry the tabletop torch from now on and be rolling in hundreds, perhaps even dozens, of dollars). Once the social retards are gone from the scene (but still in their parents’ basement), repackage it for today’s youth (hopefully cooler kids without social retardation than the original kids from the 70s and 80s). Kids, at least American ones – and let’s face it they are the only ones that matter in the world – hate reading but love sitting on their ass playing with their various electronic devices. Video game apps are it now, your blOwSR dice roller/random table generator shit app aside, not sitting around the table with graph paper and pencils and dice. Tabletop roleplaying is an albatross around Hasbro’s neck. It generates very little money and is the equivalent of selling rotary dial phones in a smart phone and tablet era. Take D&D away from the socially retarded neckbeards, give it a fresh coat of paint and a new platform medium, and never look back. DEATH TO ALL TTRPGS!

    #HasbroHiresPornStarsForKidGamesLikeD&D #D&DLAST

  26. August 7, 2014 9:26 am

    srs bsnss gaiz

    Zak Smith originally shared:

    Please RE-SHARE and co-sign my permission is granted to put this on blogs, forums etc
    This is a notice that any and all individuals endorsing, passing on (via tweet, Google+, blog, Tumblr etc), or contributing to the Tom Hatfield Fail Forward article (July 31, 2014) about me (which contains multiple assertions that are provably inaccurate and defamatory) was, by malice or negligence, harassing or contributing to harassment of both +Mandy Morbid and I (especially considering Mandy was in a hospital being hooked up to a feeding tube at the time). The same goes for anyone endorsing or passing on any of the false and defamatory assertions in it.
    This means that if anyone who contributed to this harassment is ever employed by WOTC in any way for any fashion, WOTC and everyone else should consider this a harassment complaint against them. This also goes for anyone working at the +Pathfinder Roleplaying Game .
    Hiring any of these individuals will be considered to be ignoring charges of harassment against an LGBT disabled immigrant individual and her primary caregiver during a vulnerable time and hiring a known harasser .
    This notice is in effect against every single individual who passed on, endorsed, or contributed to the article until such time as they publicly apologize and let me know they’ve done so.
    +Mike Mearls +Greg Bilsland +Dungeons & Dragons
    I ask any other members of the community who have witnessed this harassment to co sign this letter by hitting +1 or commenting below.
    -Zachary Z Smith

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 7, 2014 10:22 am

      Wow, our hero is now threatening WOTC and Paizo. I am sure that will go over well.

      That really sucks about Mandy, but could he possibly milk it a little more (and also the Lesbian(ish)/disabled/immagrant angles)? Last night on the ‘Shite he implied she was on her death bed.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 7, 2014 10:42 am

        Dibbs on skull fucking the corpse.

      • August 7, 2014 10:53 am

        He denies being an ableist, but deploys Mandy as a human shield whenever convenient. Actually, I’m not even sure what an ableist is, but it just seems weird that her disability is his crutch.

      • August 7, 2014 11:01 am

        *If you want to help Mandy, sign this and pass it along:*

        I thought we already helped her by buying her that pink wheelchair in exchange for nude girl-on-girl photos. Oh God, it’s like Tiny Tim all over again with the crutch and the empty pink wheelchair by the fire, spirit take this vision from me THIS IS HAPPENING

      • August 7, 2014 12:53 pm

        My favorite part is how he breaks out his middle initial, like “THIS IS MY ‘I MEAN BUSINESS’ SIG GUYS”

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      August 7, 2014 11:14 am

      Mearls isn’t going to be deluged by a torrent of irate e-mails from upset gamers, he’s going to be deluged by a torrent of angry e-mails from Zak. Four AM, and his phone will ring, a tweaked-out Zak will be screaming that he is a LIAR and a prude.

      #nexttimedosomevetting
      #youbuiltthis

      • August 7, 2014 3:42 pm

        Wow…I genuinely think he is doing some serious drugs. I think there were some fucking stupid accusations lobbed out but the reaction is getting kind of hysterical at this point and I put my money on hard drugs. It must be kind of embarrassing for the people who have devoted the best part of the last two weeks to take a stand for Zak.

      • Zak's Absent Father permalink
        August 7, 2014 3:50 pm

        DJ, being part of the OSR makes you immune to shame so I’m sure they’re +1ing their hearts out on G+.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 7, 2014 4:29 pm

        BREAKING NEWS: Notables Ken Hite and James “Grim Jim McRapeypants” Desborough have now +1’d this post from Mandy Morbid, whose only contribution to gaming has been selling her used panties and bras to neckbeards! They must be so proud!

      • August 7, 2014 6:13 pm

        ~vibes

      • August 7, 2014 10:32 pm

        It’s pretty clear that WotC/Hasbro might want to re-think their original idea about having ZakS and ‘Pundit as consultants.You think the James Dallas Egbert III thing was bad publicity back in the day. Wait till someone prudy mom does a search on ZakS after taking a peek through the D&D starter set lists of consultants.

  27. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 7, 2014 11:07 am

    I don’t know about recently, but I know a couple or three years ago Mandy had a little side business selling her bras online. Betcha right this minute, in between going on long-ass rants on tha’ ‘nets, he’s doing an inventory of her clothing and making price tags.

    • August 7, 2014 12:55 pm

      I wonder what is worse for her health – people posting mean things about her boyfriend online, or the fact that she fucks disease-ridden scags for a living?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 7, 2014 1:24 pm

      Mandy needs to put her big whore panties on (Zak too) and grow the fuck up.

    • Pigfucker permalink
      August 8, 2014 12:48 am

      Raggi needs to hit Mandy up for one of those bras.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        August 8, 2014 10:19 am

        Gadzooks, what’s with these shirtless fatbeard photos? First Zavoda, now Raggi… damn my eyes, they can’t unsee!

      • justme permalink
        August 8, 2014 12:00 pm

        WTF is it with the “I got this in the mail” photos anyway? Is photo evidence of obsessive compulsive consumption/aquisition really required?

  28. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 7, 2014 1:38 pm

    The more I read that Zak petition the more batshit I realize it is. It really is fucked up that he is making it about his girlfriend. Makes sense I guess. There really is no other reason to have any fucking sympathy whatsoever for the pathetic dipshit.

    I’m also tired of hearing how “scary smart” Zak is. Zak is “Proof Man,” so where’s the proof of that assertion? His porn “cred” stems entirely from people his girlfriend introduced him to. His city setting is something we all could have worked up if we were living on daddy’s money and had all day to scribble. If he was recognized my MENSA we would have heard about it a fucking thousand times by now. This really has become a sad joke. And by that I mean a funny joke.

    This Hatfield guy actually seems pretty smart. I like the cut of his jib.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 7, 2014 2:06 pm

      Yeah, totally batshit. And Zakattack has forever shown that he is indeed trying to be a gatekeeper, and prevent many people from working for industry leaders. And preemptively challenging WOTC…Jesus.

      Between Punkdick’s post yesterday and this screed, Mearls picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

    • mandi morbid's fat rolls permalink
      August 7, 2014 5:54 pm

      Hey man, chill on the whole “Zak isn’t as smart as he’s telling everyone he is (all the fucking time)”.

      He went to YALE, motherfucker. The same YALE that graduated George W. Bush. Yeah, buddy, that YALE.

      • August 7, 2014 6:09 pm

        Good to see you up and about, MMFR. I was afraid all the haters were too much for your weakened system after that blowout wedding a few weeks back. Since you seem to be a Canadian lesbian, you probably don’t know much about how the real Ivy League works. Your man’s school has Yale in the name but they are careful to point out, “Please note that the School of Art is NOT part of the Yale Graduate School of Arts and Sciences.” Basically it’s their version of Harvard Extension. Whether getting into a continuing ed program makes your man any smarter or dumber than George Fucking Bush is probably a moot point. Hope this helps!

  29. Let me tell you about my characer permalink
    August 7, 2014 7:11 pm

    I wish I could read some of the undoubtedly wacked-out emails Mearls must be getting. Hey Mikey, why don’t you post some here?

  30. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 8, 2014 11:19 am

    Hasbro corporate should be getting the emails, along with links to Zaks’ blog and some of his greatest hits. Somebody with some stroke at the company certainly should get a gander at Zak’s missive about who gets to work for the company he apparently thinks he’s in charge of. Some young go-getter exec (think Bob Morton from Robocop) might like to look and say “who the fuck are these chickenshits talking about our company like this?’ Really, this is all bigger than shit and should in theory should crap on any possible future involvement of them with the company. Shit, this should end Mearle’s involvement to the company at this point.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      August 8, 2014 1:50 pm

      Let’s all do it. What’s the address?

  31. Dumb Frost Doom permalink
    August 9, 2014 9:14 am

    Dwindlemount is finally released!

    The actual dungeon doesn’t start until after page 100.

    The room descriptions are bloated as fuck.

    The cover is just fucking awful. Vicar Chubley and his party are…standing there, dead-eyed toward the reader. There is no action in this picture, and no action in the dungeon itself. CAVEAT EMPTOR! is frozen as a silent wail upon their faces.

    • August 9, 2014 9:51 am

      Be a real G and post those backer updates. And if you can post a room example, I award you +3 points today.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      August 9, 2014 10:35 am

      The room descriptions are bloated as fuck.

      How many adjectives can a guy use to describe dust?

    • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
      August 9, 2014 10:57 am

      Here’s the very first room:

      1. Entrance Chamber
      Ancient and smooth-worn stairs descend from the Red Doors into the entrance chamber of Dwimmermount. The room contains five doors (two of them side by side) and six marble statues. All of the doors are made of hard oak, reinforced with steel, and none are locked. Five of the six statues depict distinct male figures in different poses, wearing archaic Thulian dress, but all with the exact same head and face—that of a haughty, bearded man
      with piercing eyes. Clerics and others with religious knowledge may recognize five of the figures as representations of Thulians gods (Caint, Dorn, Mavors, Tenen, and Typhon), and the identical heads as being that of Turms Termax. These heads are not original to the statues and can be removed with a successful force doors roll (see Chapter 6, Overview of the Dungeon, p. 65, for more information on these removable heads and the boons that can be gained by replacing them with the original). The sixth statue depicts an attractive, but hard-faced woman in plain garb. This is Sarana, Turms’ lover, who legends say disappeared shortly before his apotheosis

      That’s a lot of words for not much going on in there.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        August 9, 2014 11:12 am

        24. Vestry

        This room is the vestry, in which the priests of Turms vested themselves in vestments. It is a twenty by twenty by twenty cube of cubical shape. The various vestments lining the wall are tattered and torn, and hang in torn tatters from four inch long pegs made from the wood of the gaggoosha tree, which only grows in the Land of the Necromancers, which suggests ancient trade routes dating back to the Thulian era.

        The dust on the floor is a combination of fabric fragments from the crumbling crimson cloaks worn by the priests, and the silvery-gray remains of pulverized moth carcasses. A faint odor of camphor lingers in the room, indicating the presence of mothballs, by which an astute party member may deduce that the dead moths were male.

    • August 9, 2014 1:09 pm

      “Do no harm.” Here are the originals so compulsive masturbators and other Grognardia fans can really grasp the value add:

      1. Entrance Chamber (135 words; Autarch version is up 40%)
      Besides the stairs descending from the Red Gate, this room contains five doors (two of them side by side) and six statues. All of the doors are made of hard wood, reinforced with steel and none are locked. Five of the six statues depict distinct male figures in different poses, wearing archaic Thulian dress, but all with the exact same head and face — that of a haughty, bearded man with piercing eyes. Clerics and others with religious knowledge may recognize several of the figures as representations of various gods, such as Mavors, and the identical heads as being that of Turms Termax. These heads are not original to the statues and can be removed with a successful force doors roll (see page XX for more information on these removable heads). The sixth statue depicts an attractive but hard-faced woman in plain garb. She is Sarana, Turms’s lover, who, legends say, disappeared shortly before his apotheosis.

      22. Vestry (5 words; a year of Autarch somehow squeezes an extra 2,600% more excitement into this once-boring room)
      Other vestry desc XX

    • F 1-2-3 .... Against the Fatbeards permalink
      August 10, 2014 5:52 am

      Interesting side note: I did a Google image search on”Dwimmermount” to find the cover . Once you scroll down a little you start to see a bunch of the little geometric name doodads from this site ..

  32. August 9, 2014 3:03 pm

    And yet we still end up with “The various vestments lining the wall are tattered and torn, and hang in torn tatters” ?!?!?

    Hasn’t this book been revised edited and reviewed by like six doze people over the last few years?

    • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
      August 9, 2014 3:26 pm

      The text evidences a real hard-on for “tattered curtains.” A little Freudian analysis goes a long way here: the author has a fear of vaginas and still working through the Madonna/Whore anxieties of his Catholic upbringing.

      • August 9, 2014 4:36 pm

        A hardon for tattered curtains, possibly even tattered beef curtains… there’s some sort of wrinklequim fixation at work here.

      • August 10, 2014 4:50 am

        At least he’s not full-on vaginaphobic ala HPL.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      August 9, 2014 3:32 pm

      Uhhhh…. That was me, fucking around. I think a crowd sourced suck dungeon is in order.

  33. Timotheus permalink
    August 9, 2014 7:46 pm

    OK, my friends. We have shared laughs and cheap Irish whisky and quality bonghits. I have never asked for help – until now.

    The Icelandic goat is on the verge of extinction.

    I know, I know, you are rolling your eyes about my White Knight schtick.

    But I have it on good authority – authority that will not provide proof because of extensive public harrasment campaigns – that the sinister consortium trying to buy the farm and slaughter 33% of the remaining peace-loving Icelandic goats in the world is our very own axis of evil. That’s right – Raggi, Pundy, and the Chairman of the Board – Zak S.

    And those bastards have brought dragons with them. Check out the video. My understanding is that only a lone, crazed Seiolir priest is the only thing now keeping the foul troika and their minions at bay, with a magic dildo of most unusal nature and power. But he cannot pevail long against such dark forces.

    My friends, only our money can turn back this evil.

    Won’t you please help?

    https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/save-the-icelandic-goat-from-extinction

    • August 9, 2014 8:46 pm

      Sheesh, it’s not a unique species, it’s an heirloom breed of Capra aegagrus hircus– yeah, I’m a pedant. I think it’s worthwhile to save interesting heirloom animal breeds. That being said, if they made such a splash in Game of Thrones, G. Bunchaletters Martin, Sean Bean, The Actor Dwarf, and the Chick with the Boobs, all of whom are making more than we are, can pony up for the goats. Fuck, I’m still trying to decide whether to spend my fifteen bucks on Blooey’s suckstinkdungeon or a bottle of cheap vodka.

      SAVE BLOOEY!!!

      • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
        August 10, 2014 6:17 am

        Oh man, I love the Chick with the Boobs’ work! Impressive “catalog,” if you know what I mean.

      • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
        August 10, 2014 6:32 am

        If you spend $15 on the former, I would highly recommend another $15 for the latter.

  34. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 10, 2014 8:09 pm

    I’m not much of a reviewer, but I am a dreamer. And I have a dream that somebody will buy a Blooeymage product, preferably one with the world “Stink” in the title, and throw us a review of every damn detail therein. I’ll bet my right nut it’s more interesting than Dwimmeryawn.

    • August 10, 2014 9:08 pm

      He still wants $15 for the Stink pdf. I’d love to support Polyhedron Games, but it’s like he only markets to The 1% 😦

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        August 11, 2014 1:06 pm

        And we’ll never be Blooey (Blooey)
        Don’t cast spells with our blood.
        Got no dungeons with a stink
        That shit costs more than a drink.
        Let me be your DM (DM)
        I’ll say “Death to PC’s!”
        And they’ll die, they’ll die, they’ll die
        Let me live that fantasy.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 10, 2014 10:45 pm

      Since the blOwSR is seen through a kickstarter darkly now, we can view our funds donated to Bloo for his product in terms of stretch goals. Like forgoing the commando visits to the churches and the gas stations and the parks, and affording a proper KOA berthing.

      And a PA system and Dinner Knights hymnals for public readings thereof.

      Or counting toward the $1000 investment in the company.

      Or unlimited Olive Garden cheese fries.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 11, 2014 9:19 am

      Tenkar is asking for nominations for the definitive OSR product over at the Turdshack. We should all nominate Blooey’s The Stink in Golanda.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        August 11, 2014 12:52 pm

        As an alternative, we could nominate Kent’s suckdungeon from that One Page Dungeon compilation. The best thing about that strategy would be that it would take a while for people to figure out who the author was. There would be an initial period of puzzlement, then the revulsion would set in.

  35. Timotheus permalink
    August 11, 2014 6:49 am

    Zak wants to play another game of let-me-ask-you-my-100-leading-questions, because you know, its been four hours since anyone fed his narcissism.

    Bonus points for going beyond his sick/gay/immigrant/disabled girlfried, and and using all battered women as a weapon.

    http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2014/08/dear-angry-gamers-i-am-calling-your.html?zx=e9b59948bf965a23

    Also cool how he pre-admonishes anyone from grandstanding, while acknowledging and dismissing that bit of irony at the bottom.

    The Inquisition, the Inquistion…what a show!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 11, 2014 9:21 am

      “Formal rules:”
      So essentially Echo Chamber Only.

    • August 11, 2014 12:17 pm

      For every dollar Zak donates, I’m donating a dollar to offset Stormfront’s web hosting costs.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      August 11, 2014 4:43 pm

      I can almost picture in my head Zak swinging Mandy around over his head like a rubber truncheon. Paging Recovering Retard, paging Recovering Retard…

    • August 11, 2014 5:23 pm

      “Each straight answer you give…”

      If he wasn’t marginalizing the LGBT community before, he certainly is now.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      August 12, 2014 7:41 am

      I know a good charity Zak could donate too. Zak could go back in time and use those thousand dollars that he is apparantly prepared to throw away on a matter of principle(since Zak is never ever dishonest about his motivations and genuinely cares about all that LGBT shit, which is why he doesn’t simply donate to the charity anyway because SHUT UP) on the medical shit his sick girlfriend was BEGGING OTHERS TO BUY FOR HER ABOUT HALF A YEAR AGO. Either Zakprincess’s financial standing went way up, or he borrowed a page from Jamal and Pundit.

      Your hero ladies and gentlemen.

  36. Radovarl permalink
    August 11, 2014 7:32 am

    Finally! A Facebook group for whining whiner gamer fatbeards to whine about how whiny gamers are. Why can’t we all just get along???!!?

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/635408873224761/

  37. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 11, 2014 11:30 am

    Didn’t “The Zattack” make his bones by either ignoring, or otherwise being a gent, during that TARGA shit years ago? How did he go from that to the Cowardly Lion with dukes up all “Put ’em up, put ’em uuuuuuuupppp?” The OSR is turning into one of those far out Sci Fi movies where wars are fought on gameshows, or in this case blogs and forums.

  38. August 11, 2014 4:36 pm

    Looks like Kent made the front page– no wonder he took his blog down again.

  39. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 11, 2014 4:47 pm

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=67263

    Geoffy is all “Calloo Callay!” over Dwimmerdust!

    Isn’t he the guy who made his bones doing an usual, weirdo D&D setting? Is he just being all ironic or something in showing love to this thing? Or maybe it’s just that he’s one of Jimmy Geekface’s private little friends in the emails and G +’s hidey holes?

  40. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 11, 2014 9:48 pm

    Somebody tell me a bedtime story about Blooey.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      August 12, 2014 1:14 am

      Once upon a time, there was a slovenly trull named Golonda. There was a stink in Golonda that drove away all but the least fastidious customers. Many the night, did Golonda have to deal with the unseemly fetishes of catpiss men and greasy fatbeards.

      Golonda longed for a higher class clientele, but she knew that her stink drove away all of her town’s men of quality. One day, she heard that an itinerant mage named Blooey was passing through town. Believing that Blooey could magically remove her stink, she tracked him down in the temple precincts, where he had camped in his wagon for the night.

      Golonda asked Blooey if he could remove her stink, and he replied that he could do so, but only if she rendered amatory service. After having his way with her, Golonda noticed that her stink remained. She asked Blooey why he was unable to remove the stink, and Blooey replied, “Don’t believe everything you hear.”

      The moral of the story is: Don’t mess with the Blooeymage!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 12, 2014 5:31 am

        DEATH TO ALL NPC SLOVENLY TRULLS, CHEAP TROLLOPS AND BRAZEN STRUMPETS!

  41. Timotheus permalink
    August 12, 2014 3:18 am

    OK, this is classic. Random internet dude number 34907 makes a comment that Skarka has delivered nothing on Far West, and GMS threatens to sue. He asks for an address for his lawyer to sends papers to, and then sends a legal notice to the wrong email address, and that guy shows up in the thread asking WTF, and Skarka kinda apoloizes then ignores him, while everyone praises Skarka’s mental acumen, and this is hilarious…

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 12, 2014 5:35 am

      Skarka sure has a lot of free time on his hands for someone so sick without a lot of free time on his hands to finish up the projects he took money for in advance years ago…

      • August 12, 2014 6:51 am

        LIBEL! I CHALLENGE YOU!

        Oh, wait, you must be talking about the Buckaroo Banzai pre-orders, right? That was their fault, not mine.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 12, 2014 8:44 am

        Hahahaha. Oh Skarka. Internet Badass. Threatening Lawsuits. Sending contact information to the wrong people. Erlingson might be a jerk, but he knows where to land his punches(in the kickstarter!). His combination of veiled insults and mockery make Skarka’s attempts all the funnier.

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 12, 2014 8:51 am

        Highlight: Jon Reeves

        “Gareth looked down at his hands, watching them tremble. It couldn’t be true! It couldn’t be real! But it was. He’d lost the ability to publish Far West, tricked out of it by a winsome elf prince.

        “Now, mortal, if you truly wish to regain your ability to-” the elf prince paused, sitting bow-legged on a large toadstool, and pulled out a roll of parchment and some reading glasses. He peered through the spectacles, raising an eyebrow as he read. “Publish a tabletop role-playing game about cowboys? This is what I’ve tricked you out of? I can’t help but think I’ve got the worse end of the deal here, and I’m a professional trickster.”

        “My fans are depending on me!” Gareth cried, and the elf prince simply dismissed the parchment and glasses with a snap of his fingers, losing them to a puff of ethereal fairydust.

        “No dice, mortal! To regain your… thing, you must complete for me a whimsical challenge. One that will alienate everyone around you, but you cannot breathe a word of what has transpired here today. To do so would be to forfeit.” The elf prince smiled mischievously, steepling his slender fingers. “You must… be a total dick on the Internet!”

        Gareth sank to his knees and cursed the heavens, weeping openly as the elf prince cackled madly, drumming his pointy shoes on the toadstool in glee. “Yes, yes! A real dingwad! The absolute worst! I want you hurling unwarranted abuse at strangers! Threatening lawsuits! Turning up uninvited into conversations that don’t concern you!”

        He did a front-flip off his toadstool, the bells on his outfit jingling merrily as he skipped up to Gareth, whispering one last command in his ear: “I want you to associate with Zak S.”

        “Anything but that!” Gareth protested, but he knew he had no choice, even as the elf prince disappeared in a flash of pink lightning. It was all for the sake of releasing Far West. Maybe once this nightmare was over, people would understand…”

  42. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 12, 2014 11:06 am

    Speaking of catpissman smell and poorly wiped butt cracks, check out Ed Greenwood in this interview (or is that Charley Manson)? Those are the eyes of a serial killer.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      August 12, 2014 12:05 pm

      Elmanson of Sharondale!

  43. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 12, 2014 11:29 am

    Fucker makes Allan Moore look like somebody you’d like your daughter to date.

  44. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 12, 2014 11:32 am

    I’m really sad Robin Williams kicked the bucket. Not because I was a fan – he was highly overrated. But because if there was ever a Blooey movie I would have liked Robin to play him. Not manic Robin, but the Robin who played the quietly crazy photomat dude in One Hour Photo.

    O Captain My Captain! Oh ho!

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      August 12, 2014 12:09 pm

      I picture Samuel L. Jackson playing Blooey.

      “It’s the wallet that has ‘Bloo Motherfucker’ on it- and it’s empty, so buy some motherfucking product!”

      • August 12, 2014 12:43 pm

        Damn, I’d love to see a bloosploitation film…

        With odds this long
        With stakes this high
        A man’s gotta bloo what a man’s gotta bloo
        .

  45. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 12, 2014 12:06 pm

    #GAY

    From now on, I’m going to regularly post some of the gayest shit I see when I make my RPG rounds online. Keep an eye out for Hashtag GAY!*

    This is fucking gay:

    *Not to be confused with hashtag #KENTISGAY

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 12, 2014 12:08 pm

      Since making shame lists and publishing them online is all the rage, here is a list of all the fags who backed this: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/metalweavedesigns/the-baby-bestiary/backers

      A couple of girls backed this Kickstarter which isn’t as gay as a guy backing it. Chicks dig unicorns and My Little Pony and other gay stuff. And Bronies are really fucking gay.

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 12, 2014 12:25 pm

        Careful, FOTU – you might be outing some trannies.

    • August 12, 2014 12:16 pm

      I’m getting an urge to redecorate the place and drink some cosmopolitans, ‘cos I think that shit is awesome!

  46. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 12, 2014 1:06 pm

    Bloosploitation? OK, in an homage to 70’s classic with Rosie Grier with some white dudes head sewn onto him, how about “The Thing with Bloo Heads?” One head could be Zak, all spewing spittle as he rants and raves in his ragey way, while the BM head is completely oblivious and smiles while quietly repeating “Death to all PC’s. Death to all PC’s”

    Or maybe Jamal’s head. Or how about Raggi’s? Shit…too many great heads to choose from. I only know one thing for sure. One head must be Bloodymage. It’s in the title, see?

  47. Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
    August 12, 2014 3:35 pm

    Fatty’s quick mental illness/your gaming interests guide:

    Asperger’s: You are on this site. Therefore you have an interest in tabletop RPGs. Therefore you have Asperger’s. I’ve got it, you’ve got it. Deal.

    OCD: You love messing around making starships and other shit for Traveller? You’ve got it. You say you play Traveller? Bullshit. No one plays Traveller. Too good for solo masturbation for anyone to bother to find a partner.

    All the above applies to GURPS as well.

    Borderline Personality Disorder/Psychopath: FATAL, of course, but also if any game you run or play has a big torture porn element, you probably fit here as well. Carcosa? Maybe.
    It’s not conclusive.

    Narcissistic Personality Disorder: You made a retroclone? You’re an OSR blogger? Here you are.

    ADD: You find your self saying “fuck this, we have computers to do all this math shit” and playing CRPGs instead? Probably you belong here with me. Admittedly, often also a reaction when a player’s/GMs Asperger’s “interests” (obsessions) are not congruent with your own “interests.”

    Depression: This is just the logical result of a long hard look at the OSR. Hard to call it a pathology in our “community.”

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 13, 2014 8:27 am

      These are good and cover your standard “social retard”, but there are a few in the blOwSR and RPGing in general that are retarded for real reals. I’m talking missing/extra chromosomes and oxygen deprivation during birth. Guys like Greg Gorgonmilk, Johnn Four, Sean Patrick Fannon, and Blooey.

    • kaptainvon permalink
      August 15, 2014 4:08 am

      Bipolar disorder: you alternate between being prepared to play RPGs and not; between Old and New School; between AD&D and OSR Old School; between Swords and Wizardy and Lamentations of the Finnish Postal Service; between skills for thieves or no skills for thieves; between ascending and descending armour class; et hoc genus omne. Actually playing an RPG is invariably a disappointing experience; either you’re overexcited, or nobody is.

  48. Timotheus permalink
    August 14, 2014 6:31 am

    Geoffy tries to pull some retroactive continuity, lying his fucking ass off:

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=67299

    You see, raping an 11 year old Carcosa girl is not the same as raping an 11 year old earth girl, because the Carcosa female reaches sexual maturity at 10-12! So now he says it is like raping a 22 year old, which is fine by him.

    Nevermind that he never mentioned this during the controversy. Nevermind that the journal he posted there at the time made it clear the girl was small. Inconvienient truths! Told by bitter grogs!

    Lying piece of shit.

    • August 14, 2014 6:57 am

      Yeah, he did this for the first time a couple years ago, I think on an ODD74 thread. I was hoping it would be a one-time stupid thing, temporary insanity in defense against years of dingledicks flicking at his balls. But it looks like he’s convinced himself this is canon and it’s lame.

    • bad wolf permalink
      August 14, 2014 9:29 am

      I noticed something back during the good old days of RPGPundit vs Geoffrey, when a negative review of Isle of the Unknown caused Geoffrey to call Pundit the lowest of the low: a Dragonlance fan.

      On this thread, Geoffrey demonstrates his extremely manly desire to not get into a debate with someone when all he’d meant to do is call names:

      “I will decline your offer to discuss things on your site. I play games and have fun talking about them. I do not like to fight over them. This girl’s words made an impression on me:”
      http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=39130

      That thread, “We gamers rebuked by a 15-year-old’s common sense”, began with Geoffrey’s announcement:

      “I was tutoring a 6th-grade student in math at her house. She has an older sister (who looks about 15 years old) who was on the couch about 10′ away. The younger brothers (around 8 or 9 years old) started verbally fighting over a computer game.

      The 15-year-old silenced them by saying in a tone of disbelief and disgust, “Hey! Fighting over a game? Are you serious? Come on!”

      Then I thought of us.”

      Let that sink in for a moment. Geoffrey was invited to someone’s house, and probably still makes a living, as a babysitter.

      • August 14, 2014 10:11 am

        Who says he was invited???

      • August 14, 2014 10:40 am

        “Mary, your little brothers won’t go to sleep, so I’m going to have to cast a sleep spell. Take your pants off.”

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 14, 2014 12:14 pm

        Good ol’ senior citizen dumbass Thorkie jumps into the fray on that DF thread to defend the rapin’, by citing American Injun mythos’ where babies are sacrificed. “Hey, TSR was doing it long ago.”

        Um, Thorkhammer, you stupid old dipshit. Nowhere in TSR do you, in order to cast a sleep spell, need to rape those babies anally for 11 hours straight while singing “Memories” from Cats. Or whatever the fuck it is, it’s been years since I looked at Geoffie’s stupid supplement.

      • August 14, 2014 12:28 pm

        Geoffrey bashing here is an auto thread ban for 12 parsecs.

      • bad wolf permalink
        August 14, 2014 12:59 pm

        Whoops! My mistake, Geoffrey’s macho posturing takes place here:
        http://odd74.proboards.com/thread/9927

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 14, 2014 1:05 pm

        Thorkie has got to be the laziest slacktivist of all time.

        “Here are some quotes from an old TSR product. I haven’t bothered to read the offending passages in Carcosa, but I am still outraged at the double standard.

        Waitaminute…are you going to eat your fat?”

  49. kingofalltherotten permalink
    August 14, 2014 7:15 am

    In this latest attention grabbing debacle it seems that zak and mandy are not really fighting some phantom army of RPG hooligans, they are trying to fight the one thing that will do more harm to them than anything else: Well deserved obscurity.

    Did neither of them do their homework? The OSR, and most other tabletop gaming, is DIY and share with others, not something to lord over. As their echo chamber expands and the sycophants grow out of their pointless adoration of these two, hopefully they will just flounder off in the sunset, looking for the next big thing. However…..

    And now I Hit It With My Axe might return. Why? To show more bad camera angles, worse dialogue and an apparent inability to grasp the concept of a tabletop RPG? Can’t wait for that and the ensuing crying and wailing about anyone who doesn’t like it.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 14, 2014 1:13 pm

      Yeah, Zak’s latest bald faced whopper on the ‘Shite is:

      “Narcissists love themselves. I just love lovely ladies and new D&D ideas and being left alone and have (oddly) had to develop rational strategies to secure the above.”

      That’s right, kids…Zak just wants to be left alone.

      ALL evidence to the contrary.

      And not a single one of those pussies calls him out on this.

      • kingofalltherotten permalink
        August 15, 2014 10:12 am

        Does the zakster leave his ivory tower to attend conventions or is he strictly G+ with gaming outside of his gaming group? I find it hard to see that twerp running the convention circuit with his condescending attitude and smug face and not getting in an altercation.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        August 15, 2014 10:30 am

        Like any con attendee could do more than get in a limp-wristed slapfight.

  50. August 14, 2014 5:09 pm

    Tavis, are you still running this site? How come you didn’t repost this here?

    http://story-games.com/forums/discussion/15958/dwimmermount-the-god-of-abortion/p1

  51. August 14, 2014 6:32 pm

    It’ just hit me- Carcosa is basically John Wayne Gacy’s “Barsoom”.

  52. Sykirobme permalink
    August 15, 2014 6:42 am

    One of the few good things to come from Dwimmermount is the name of this post:

    http://psychicmayhem.blogspot.com/2014/08/quimmermount.html

  53. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 15, 2014 11:52 am

    That’s funny. But it’s even funnier that dorko only has 62 followers. Even wastes of sperm like Christian Walker and Clovis Cithog can get a couple hundy followers.

  54. August 15, 2014 10:55 pm

    Alright, which one of you us reprobates is going to take him up on his offer?

    I’m working on my thesis that Blooey is the central figure of the OSR. Death to all Gaming Bloggers!!!

  55. justme permalink
    August 16, 2014 5:45 pm

    Holy fucking shit, Autarch has some dirty brass balls selling the pdf of dwimmermount with the adventure, maps book, and picture book as seperate products….what an amazing bargain ony $7.95 for maps with no adventure: http://www.rpgnow.com/product/133749/Dwimmermount-Map-Book
    Well I suppose one could save $10.00 by using some random dungeon filler tables.

    • August 16, 2014 7:23 pm

      Apparently, the basic PDF contains maps and illos. Apparently, the illustration book is only for those fans who really want a bigger picture of Canon Chubbly than the one on the cover.

      • August 16, 2014 7:32 pm

        Apparently, I’m using the word “apparently” a lot… and I’m not even drunk.

      • justme permalink
        August 17, 2014 2:46 pm

        Apparently theyt5hink someoone somewhere who can’t work a dungeon random map tool has $7.00 to spare and can figure out how to orde the awesome map book.
        How could anyone not want a totally medicore set of images totally irrelevant to their campaign?
        Aparently I don’t have the marketing expertise of folks that thaught hitching their wagon to Jmal and dwimmerdust was a good idea.

      • Recovering Retard permalink
        August 17, 2014 6:51 pm

        That’s some bad-ass artwork there… what grade is Allen in, I wonder?

        Triple Chins, Lisping Caloric Cleric: “I know thereth thome copper cointh at the bottom of the thtairths..”

        Buggo, the Dwarven Butt-plug: “I’m still blowing the fucking dust outta me skirt from the last fourteen empty rooms.”

        Wilma, the Transgendered Enchantress: “There will be no misogyny during this thirteen level sausage party.”

        Anonymous Elf: “Mffumph… mmmfumuph phum muffumm…”

        Big Turkish dude in Armor: “They paid $48,000 American dollars for this?”

    • bad wolf permalink
      August 17, 2014 2:17 pm

      “The Dwimmermount Map Book also includes a special two-page visual timeline of the construction of Dwimmermount, showing its origins in the early First Era to its final completion millennia later.

      Um, does he mean the dungeon, or the Map Book?

  56. August 16, 2014 8:46 pm

    Ladies, I cleared the spam folder and a couple legit comments might have been deleted. Or not, who knows. Muy sorry if I shitcanned your sick burn 😦

    • Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
      August 17, 2014 3:16 pm

      i h8 u 4evr, signed an OSRtard.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      August 17, 2014 7:11 pm

      I had posted some stings aimed at some lame-o or another, but who gives a fuck. I’ve been phoning it in lately anyway. Without some kind of regular presence by Bloodymage online, I’m losing the will to carry on.

      • August 17, 2014 8:28 pm

        Keep hope alive, and be true to Bloo. I have no doubt in my mind that, even as I type out this comment, Bloo is being whisked by corporate jet to Hasbro Headquarters so he can un-kerfuff the consultant kerfuffle that’s tainted the 5E rollout.

  57. Timotheus permalink
    August 18, 2014 9:43 am

    Zak is in desparation mode looking for attention, now. The day after Gencon (to which neither he nor Tarnowski were invited, which must have stung their narcissistic entities) and three weeks after it happenned, he decides to post a G+ thread with 260 posts in it, in the ‘Shite’s “I Hate You” thread.

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=30270&page=2

    tl;dr, but what I glanced at makes all of those drama queens look stupid, in particular the Pundick.

    That sad little bitch Zakella needs a hug, he is approaching irrelevancy again!

    The irony is, of course, if he wanted to be left alone, as he claimed, he would not be pasting 3 week old G plus threads for his drones to read. And still none of those Stockholmists calls him out on his dishonesty.

    OK, god damn, it HAS been lonely on the net without Bloo.

    • August 18, 2014 12:00 pm

      That comment is eating up 18 THOUSAND words of the Pundick’s hard-earned bandwidth. If he hit CTRL+V another five times, he’d have an entire legendary Dwimmermount saved up there for a rainy day when nobody cares.

    • bad wolf permalink
      August 19, 2014 9:08 am

      Me, i just enjoy the simple pleasures in life… like Pundit and Tenkar arguing over who’s stupider, Tracy Hurley or her husband.

    • kingofalltherotten permalink
      August 25, 2014 6:47 am

      No kidding. Zak and his ilk belong in their well deserved oblivion. Yet he keeps kicking that dead horse. nobody cares what job he had before, nobody cares who his girlfriend is or what disease she has. If you are contributing you are relevant, if you are 38 and still angsty, thanks, it’s been fun.

  58. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 18, 2014 1:17 pm

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/12/porn-stereotypes_n_5129137.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular&utm_source=crowdignite.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=crowdignite.com

    Hope that link works. Otherwise do a search on “three former porn women Huffington Post” and you’d prob find it.

    From not too long ago, Satine finally admits that being whipped, beaten, and close-up loads down the throat (she claims to have “been in control,” during shoots, but if you ever saw her work it’s hard to imagine that’s what she was hoping for) on camera may not have been the best career choice. She throws around that “star” word as much as usual, but that’s Zakarina’s influence I imagine. Sort of melancholy…she seems torn between “this was the greatest thing ever” and “this fucks up your future and what about the children?”

    And porked “on the reg” by daddy growing up? Oh, you betcha. How else do you go into…hmmm, wondering which is worse for your future image, being a bone-chugger on film, or being linked in with Zak and Mandy’s surreal circle. YOU make the call.

    p.s. – one of those former actresses looks totally like a man. I mean, more than Satine does anyway. Only one of them is actually pretty in any real, normal way.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 18, 2014 3:56 pm

      Yeah, Saltine says she loves to fuck on camera, but blames the editors of her porn flicks for making her look bad on film. “THEY made me look like a whore!” The graphic anal intrusions and cum swallowing had nothing to do with it – just the sleazy editing. The C-list reporter didn’t think to ask WHY she is a “former” pornie.

      And that tranny complaining about getting health insurance. Gee, what are the possible risks from fucking 50 guys a year that would translate into higher health costs?

      You’re right about the “star” angle, too, CKDB. Why is it that every skank who chokes down a dick on camera is now a “star”?

      • justme permalink
        August 19, 2014 1:45 pm

        They made her look like a whore? Well getting paid to snarf rods is pretty much the definition of being a whore.
        The “Star” thing baffles me too. I probably drove to work more than that woman polished knobs, I should call myself a “Commuting SUPERSTAR”.

  59. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 18, 2014 5:11 pm

    Heh. Every time I had a gal complain about my obsession for facial deliveries, I should have said “baby, you’re a star!”

    • justme permalink
      August 19, 2014 1:48 pm

      Well you certainly shouldn’t say “duck”, that ruins all the misogynist fun and the tears aren’t as funny.
      Damn…. I’d be a f’n horrible person if i believed ether half of that sentence.

  60. Timotheus permalink
    August 20, 2014 6:59 am

    So evidently, Drow are the new Blackface:

    #noHitlerD&D
    #RAdiditforthemoney
    #ZakandPundytakeitupthebutt

    • Angry Black Gamer permalink
      August 20, 2014 8:35 am

      The amount of outrage I saw from SJW left wing middle class white boys this past weekend on G+ over Drow cosplay @ GenCon was disgusting. I am an African American male and I know that there is a world of difference between wanting to dress up like Drizzt or Lloth and putting on black face and doing Step’n’Fetch singing mammy. Do me a favor, middle class white SJW, and shut your fucking mouths. You aren’t doing me or any other black person any favors by labeling Drow cosplay as racist. But I suppose it is easier to make passive aggressive accusations on social media of racism against your fellow white gamers at an all white gaming convention from the safety of a hotel grand ballroom in Indianapolis than it is to get into the face of a police officer armed to the teeth with military grade weapons in Ferguson.

      Thank you YDIS for giving me an outlet to express this. My post or account would be deleted on the regular gaming circuit, be it the tea bagging libertarians at Pundit’s or the left wing white middle class SJWs of RPGNet.

    • bad wolf permalink
      August 20, 2014 2:56 pm

      “I blue myself!”

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 20, 2014 3:47 pm

      Because calling out Drow cosplayers for doing “racist black face” at GenCon passive aggressively on social media from the hotel grand ballroom at an all white convention is a hell of lot easier than actually getting in the face of a racist cop with military grade weapons down in Ferguson…

    • August 21, 2014 2:11 pm

      TImmy Witchiepoo takes a step into white supremacy by declaring drow should be white!!
      http://www.donotlink.com/b8zp

      Fight to keep drow black SJW’s!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 22, 2014 6:56 am

        I love how Timmy felt the need to list as his credentials ” hetero, white male” and not his PhD in Psychology (i.e. Women’s Studies). I guess YDIS is having a much bigger effect on the blOwSR turdosphere than they care to admit!

    • Hansgruber permalink
      August 23, 2014 12:37 pm

      Drow women have black skin and white hair.
      Black women have brown skin and Korean or Indian hair hats… big difference.

  61. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 20, 2014 12:06 pm

    “A fat Drow? Are you fucking kidding me, Pork Chop? There aren’t any fat Drow!” – R. Salvatore

  62. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    August 20, 2014 8:06 pm

    Stop trying to confine me to binary notions of sex, gender and ectomorphic body type. I’m playing a hermaphroditic drow presenting myself as a female trapped in a fat man’s body.

  63. Shitty McTits permalink
    August 20, 2014 9:12 pm

    Point of order:

    If it’s about Zak and Raggi, I think it’s technically “Helsinki Syndrome,” not “Stockholm Syndrome.”

  64. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 21, 2014 11:15 am

    Some of the ideas in Vornheim are very stupid. The using random numbers for streets and shit was especially dumb to me. Anybody who cannot randomize their own realistic city street matrix in 20 seconds should not be behind that DM screen. But people lap that crap up and think it’s sheer brilliance. Good or bad, with all the time he has on his hands Zakina could certainly be pumping out more product than Jaquays in his/her prime. But he wastes so much time on arguing with every point somebody makes online, his long-ass Aspergers rants, he doesn’t seem to be able to get much else done besides wipe Mandy’s bum and beat off into her feeding tube.

    My head is still spinning from that waste of life Raggi’s comments about how wicked smart Zak is in his attacks on people. Wackos getting defended by other wackos. That’s gaming in a nutshell.

    • August 21, 2014 12:04 pm

      There was an amazing one on the + where some guy shot his long sincere wad into the ether about how great it is to be able to interact with all these other dorks after years in the game closet. Blah blah blah, no names mentioned, but at one point he says something like “wouldn’t it be great if people could let things go.”

      Fucking Zak S. Smith goes full chihuahua on his feed, I CHALLENGE you, you LIBEL me, my friend is a LAWYER, you are asking me to hand over the Sudetenland, THIS IS WHY WE DON’T LIKE YOU. So the guy actually has to say, dude, I wasn’t talking about you.

      It’s just sad. Vornheim came out three years ago. Given Raggi’s track record of attention-seeking self-indulgence, the Wonderland book will probably be both priced out of the market as a desperate plea for artistic legitimacy and still unprofitable, which means no royalties for anyone. Then he’s either got to get serious about selling some art or keep cashing dad’s checks into 2017 or so when the next visionary masterpiece drops. Kind of makes me wonder if he was hoping 5E was a golden lottery ticket he could grab and ride like an ancient Norse transvestite shaman into the big money.

      • Ingrid Titt permalink
        August 23, 2014 1:30 pm

        Proof or you are a LIAR!
        Seriously, I could use a giggle.

      • August 23, 2014 4:43 pm

        Oh Ingrid, you scream queen! Post is private now but a search for hobby arsehole balls-out crazy may give you that giggle if you’re on the right filter.

  65. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 21, 2014 1:49 pm

    I’m just wondering if Princess Zak gets tipped-off to things that could possibly be remarks about him online, or if he actually sees every goddamn blog and forum post. It’s getting increasingly likely that it’s the latter.

    • August 21, 2014 8:31 pm

      I’d bet that he just has Google alerts that, uh, alert him whenever his name comes up in a comment thread.

  66. Kent's Rectum permalink
    August 21, 2014 3:03 pm

    Kent likes his Drow black, like his men.

  67. August 22, 2014 5:02 am

    Jesus fuck. Drow as blackface. I don’t even.

  68. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 22, 2014 6:59 am

    Thank goodness black people have a white male conservative to tell them exactly how to think, feel and react over drow blackface!

    http://www.donotlink.com/b998

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 22, 2014 9:48 am

      A bunch of honkies confirm that it is not racism, so you know it is true.

      I say thee Nay, vile race baiter!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 22, 2014 10:02 am

      I picked up some new Drow minis today.

    • justme permalink
      August 22, 2014 10:11 am

      I just gotta say balck make-up white hair and pointy ears in rated R-leather fetish gear just doesn’t make one look cool.

      Not racist? Go drow LARPing in Fergusson MO and I’m sure the locals will educate you on that.

      • August 22, 2014 10:53 am

        I’m not saying Recovering Retard HAS to draw actual despicably racist Drow cosplayers, I’m just saying that Planet Earth is not really worth living on if he doesn’t, that’s all I’m saying.

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 22, 2014 11:20 am

        Wow, GOPagan as cosplaying drow would throw the fuck down.

        Especially if RR included that coon-skin cap he wears in his Siolnir cosplay, for an added layer of double-entendre social commentary.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 22, 2014 12:18 pm

      OSR News with experts like GOPagan on board is just like a little FOX News affiliate!

  69. The Quiet Man permalink
    August 22, 2014 11:01 am

    Oh, wow! A slave-rape rpg. https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/chronicles-of-gor
    I wonder if John Norman knows if his suck-dungeon books are being made into an rpg?

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 22, 2014 11:53 am

      Grim Jim McRapey Pants is back!

    • August 22, 2014 7:15 pm

      Tenkar covered this one– from the “TMI file”, we learn that GOPagan is a “Gor” fan:

      I’m actually quite a fan of the Gor novels, and think they’re a splendid sword-and-planet setting. But yeah, there are quite a few red flags in that pitch.

      How about a picture of a drow-cosplaying GOPagan with Zak in a slave girl outfit, chained to his dais, while a tiny, cackling Jim Destro perches on his shoulder?

      • bad wolf permalink
        August 24, 2014 3:46 pm

        Favorite Tenkar post of the week: Tenkar oblivious to his own statement that the OSR is unnecessary.

        “The more I read the more I realized this was just someone’s attempt to re-invent an already working wheel, because they feel *their* ideas are better then what was already written as the best selling RPG of its time. Seems like the thing to do, right?”

        Someone should tell him that when you point a finger at someone else, you have three fingers pointed back at yourself.

      • Peryton Cock permalink
        August 24, 2014 7:56 pm

        That bit about the GOPagan may be the least surprising thing I’ve seen on the internet all day.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 25, 2014 7:18 pm

      I just hope the left wing liberal conservative SJWs suckling on Tipper Gore’s tits (1985 edition) at Big Purple Dildo don’t start a huge multipage outrage thread about this so Grim Jim doesn’t get any free publicity so the Gor Rape RPG funds successfully!!!! Uh oh, too late: http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?734804-Chronicles-of-Gor-RPG

  70. August 22, 2014 7:22 pm

    We need $5,000 if the books are to be illustrated in a unified and defining manner by a single artist – who will be named later. I want to define Gor with art in the way Brom did for Dark Sun or Diterlizzi did for Planescape.

    He’s going to get the “Dwimmermount” cover artist to illustrate it- “slave girl” Wrinklequim, do… not… want!!!

  71. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 22, 2014 8:04 pm

    I need to ask, has anybody given “Tenker and The Badger” a listen? Just curious if they go for an “Asscrack and Backsack in the Morning” zany morning zoo radio duo type deal with sound effects and shit (everytime they mention Raggi there’s a farting sound, or when they mention Zak there’s a sound drop of rednecks laughing and saying “fag!”).

  72. Timotheus permalink
    August 23, 2014 8:31 am

    Grim Jim McRapeypants needs to get Zak and his skank battalion and those One Direction beatiful faggots to all play in a game of Gor for a Maxim photoshoot.

    Saltine especially would love getting hosed on the table in a variety of submissive positions as she tells herself she is really the one in control.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 23, 2014 9:09 am

      Probably shouldn’t give this Cthulhu-worshipping skinhead any exposure, but Ass Nasty, Social Justice Warrior, thinks people who are not applauding the Gor RPG are just like homophobes:

      http://vengersatanis.blogspot.com/2014/08/like-homophobia-but-different.html

      • bad wolf permalink
        August 23, 2014 11:55 am

        “Consenting adult like different things”? What a monster!

        Wow, thanks for staying on the story there, Tipper.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 23, 2014 12:49 pm

        Where does it stop?

        NAMBLA Haters: Like Homophobes, but Different.

      • justme permalink
        August 24, 2014 1:59 pm

        Years back my woman dragged me along to a scifi-video potluck at the house of someone I actually knew in high-school (how the hell it happened she knew him still have no f’n clue). Got to the gathering and found out a number of the folks were into roleplaying also, cool thought I and then i noticed a room of people trying out and getting costumes ready..with lots of leather an chains…i make a brief inquiry and a few folks mentioned the Gorean lifestyle and fetched my woman and we left, If you going to have a Gor-inspired BDSM orgy it’s probably a good idea to not mask it with a pot-luck video-night.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 24, 2014 2:53 pm

        Bring a dish and an ass to pass!

      • August 24, 2014 5:30 pm

        I could have been a hundred thousand times worse, they could have been “vore” fetishists.

      • August 24, 2014 6:02 pm

        What flicks did they use as bait to lure upstanding young couples into their sex lair?

      • August 24, 2014 7:05 pm

        Ahh… planning a “Gor Orgy” of your own?

      • August 24, 2014 9:06 pm

        Nah, I have this place for acting out my more perverse urges! Just vaguely disturbed that there were fan movies so fucking tempting they were the honey in the trap. Now I hope Netflix Instant has salted that game.

      • justme permalink
        August 25, 2014 8:55 am

        It was about 20 years ago so i have no real recollection of what films were at the edge of the trap.
        I still don’t get the logic: sci-fi movies with potluck and gross disgusting freaks in leather and chains that don’t necessarily want to have sex with anyone but are cool if you want to watch or do other stuff…
        like walk the hell out the door and never come back.

        Being down on a GORean RPG is not like homophobia, homophobia actually exists and has seen periods of popularity throughout human history but GOR became boringly irrelevant decades ago. hmmm, wait a minute… oh you know what I meant.

        Would Gayhunt the game be wrong? Players would be religious fundamentalist extremists of all sorts that cure, persecute, and hunt down homosexuals of all sorts while keeping from being outed themselves. Anyone who is against it is an anti-fundie anti-homophobe as all views are legitimate as long as everyone is a consenting adult.

      • bad wolf permalink
        August 25, 2014 9:09 am

        “What flicks did they use as bait to lure upstanding young couples into their sex lair?”

        Gor and Outlaw of Gor, ironically.

        Gor always sounded like its reputation is much worse than the banal reality. At this point it’s like a Dan Quayle joke.

      • justme permalink
        August 25, 2014 11:56 am

        Gor might have been interestingly different 40 years ago, but that was 40 years ago…18 more interchangeable books have likely done nothing to improve the series.

        I saw that 1st Gor movie online somewhere recently and it is amazingly god-awful making Beastmaster II and Deathstalker look like fine cinema and Hawk The Slayer oscar worthy.

      • August 25, 2014 4:18 pm

        “Dan Quayle joke.”

        Gor. Chronicles of Gor. Gor the RPG.
        Gore. Tipper Gore. Chronicles of Tipper Gore the RPG.

        Gentlemen! To the IndieGoGo! There’s parodyin’ to be had and if all our enemies had but the one neck to twist, this might be it!

        All proceeds go to Bloodymage if it don’t hit its funding goal.

  73. Hansgruber permalink
    August 23, 2014 12:20 pm

    People like Venger are why RPG gamers get made fun of. Personally I think the guy is trying way too hard to be edgy and cool. makes him seem totally fake.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 23, 2014 9:53 pm

      I hear you about his trying too hard, but more importantly, it is the way that he is totally fake makes him seem like he is totally fake.

  74. August 24, 2014 7:04 pm

    BLOOEY’S BACK!!!!

    Death to all PCs!

    • August 24, 2014 8:56 pm

      SOMEONE GET THAT MAN AN INTERNET PROVIDER AND A PLASTIC FORK, STAT!!!

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 24, 2014 10:39 pm

      Poor Blooey is in assisted living. 😦

      And in Texas. He’ll probably end up on death row. That state likes to execute children and the developmentally challenged whenever they get the chance.

      At least he’ll be safe in an assisted living facility. I may have to give in and buy The Stink in the Slovenly Half Orc Trull’s Pink so he can keep the lights on in his cottage.

      • Mjollnir permalink
        August 25, 2014 8:09 pm

        re: Texas

        It just so happens that the group of people that produces an absurdly high proportion of execution worthy crimes also has a median IQ of 85, meaning that nearly half of these people are borderline retarded.

        These violent sub-apes are usually euphemistically referred to as “youths” or “teens”.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 26, 2014 1:02 pm

        Well, low IQ certainly explains Rick Perry and his indictment.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      August 25, 2014 6:56 am

      I don’t suppose i could convince any of you Bloomage enthusiasts to indulge in a bit of naturalist observation by joining his game and observing the Bloomage phenomenon from the inside as it were?

      Reward is anything you can conceive of that does not take any time, resources or investment of any kind on my part.

      • August 25, 2014 7:24 pm

        I could never get approved for membershit. Must be an IP ban kinda thang. I really do want to participate on account of Bloo and all, but I’ve been the nigger in the woodpile over there a lot.

  75. Timotheus permalink
    August 25, 2014 6:49 am

    Zak got crushed in this thread. You can back up to read the exchange interspersed over several pages, but this is the money shot. He is crushed by his own tactics, and reduced to stuttering, lying, and calling his antagonist “creepy.”

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=30271&page=21

    Well done, Shlo!

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      August 25, 2014 7:05 am

      3 pages in and Zakina is already being a massive prick to people that genuinely try to support his bullshit and actually seem to be on his side.

      Hint to the SJW crowd: I know you are all fucking stupid and possibly insane, but its actually ridiculously easy to formulate just why Zak is a cancer in the body of the hobby and it has nothing to do with his stance towards LGBT(? I’ll be damned if i ever care) people, but with his stance towards people in general. Zak isn’t anti-tranny. Zak simply lacks the neural architecture that allows humans to empathize with their fellow man(or tranny), as well as the architecture required for objective self-perception. Of course, any SJW, OSRtard or Pundit himself also lacks this ability, so i guess we can’t really hold Zak accountable for that.

      • i don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
        August 25, 2014 11:58 am

        Displaying empathy and a willingness to help their fellow man, however misguided, is not a sign of stupidity or insanity.

        Jesus fuck, the hyperbole around the internet is mind-numbing. I’m seriously going to have to go a watch a bunch of bullshit to re-set some semblance of cognitive function! Your outrageous, downright villainous slander has made my entire brain shut down! YOU ARE A NAZI AND A CHILDKILLER AND POSSESS THE INTELLECT OF A CUMULONIMBUS, YOU DRIP!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 25, 2014 5:59 pm

        ~vibes

    • August 25, 2014 7:28 am

      Again with the Tipper Gore worship in that fucking thread. Are fantasies of being persecuted shoulder-to-manly-shoulder with John Denver, Dee Snider and Zappa the only thing that gets him up? That was 1985, Zak. A year starting with a “1,” a “9” and an “8.” Do you still call Elvis “the Pelvis” too? Make like a snow queen and let it fucking go.

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      August 25, 2014 7:50 am

      Finished the thread. The amount of cognitive dissonance at work is staggering. Its a miracle Zak can actually fucking operate a keyboard with the amount of revisionism going on in his mind(I guess Raggi wasn’t kidding when he called him CRAZY SMART).

      Zak’s position that he is only rude against those who accuse him or trolls is not even a blatant fallacy, since it’s pretty obvious anyone who voices an opinion that deviates from his imaginairy world is immediately labelled a troll. He also seems to experience trouble when people point out that some points in life are in fact, subjective as opposed to objective(Like words! See!), and that 100% information accuracy, which he claims he obtains before he gets into any argument(in which we can find an implication that he is in fact, never wrong about anything), is actually a scientific impossiblity.

      Shlo takes him out without any hint of mockery or abrasiveness using only the medium of socratic dialogue. Nice.

      • tyranny of faggots permalink
        August 26, 2014 11:32 am

        the internet has been around most of zak’s life now, how does he not know what a troll is?

    • justme permalink
      August 25, 2014 9:02 am

      22 pages of …what the fuck are they yammering about? You could get a Gene-gene the flaming machine vs Kunt debate here on YDIS and it would be a far more coherent and concise.
      Internet puds no one cares about be hating on people so how best to show the world how utterly irrelevant our outrage against internet puds no one cares about is not worth a couple hundred posts of nothing much.

  76. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    August 25, 2014 7:22 pm

    I still don’t get any of this. They seem to be even more asinine and less coherent than this place.

  77. Timotheus permalink
    August 25, 2014 10:32 pm

    Grim Jim McBiggirlpanties has this to say at the Turdshack, regarding his game being “edgy”:

    “Yes, that’s kink, no, that’s not rape apologia any more than the existence of racial evil in D&D is apologia for white supremicism.”

    That’s right – killing a su monster is striking a blow for the Reich! I guess…is the context of forcibly training women to sexual submission in the BSDM patriarchy of Gor really the same thing as whacking an orc in B2?

    Is it possible for the negadungeon dudes to defend their crap in a more categorically tone-deaf and inaccurate fashion?

  78. Dumb Dungeoneers permalink
    August 26, 2014 1:17 am

    The Stink review is here! Gather round Blooey fans!
    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?p=782770#post782770

    • August 26, 2014 8:33 am

      Scooped! I was seriously considering buying this stinkdungeon, but the siren song of cheap vodka was too strong.

      For fifteen bucks, you could either buy a bottle of cheap booze or “The Stink in Golonda”. One provides for a night of fun, resulting in adventures you and your friends will reminisce about for years to come, and the other is “The Stink in Golonda”.

    • August 26, 2014 9:03 am

      That was gorgeous, but go ahead and spoil the trap for us. If BM has created something of redeeming value, even fractionally, we should know what it is.

      • August 26, 2014 11:22 am

        Blooey and Rapeypants can collaborate on a Gor/Golonda mashup (Gorlonda?)- they can call it “Stink and Kink”.

    • justme permalink
      August 26, 2014 10:28 am

      you can get the conpendium of magick from the same publisher a huge page pdf of 11 pages fro only $14.99 What a bargain at $1.36 a virtual page.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 26, 2014 12:44 pm

      Turnail in the comments – that name is familiar. He’s mentally retarded or French or something, right?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 26, 2014 12:45 pm

        (Turanil)

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 26, 2014 12:47 pm

      Everloss sez “Do a lot of people buy garbage like this? If so, I can crap out maybe 3-6 shitty adventures a day and charge a dollar a page for them.”

      By George I think he’s got it! (How the blOwSR works, anyway).

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 26, 2014 12:50 pm

      And please tell me Blooey used CC2 technology to draw the one included map. http://forum.profantasy.com/comments.php?DiscussionID=3989

  79. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 26, 2014 11:54 am

    A big part of that 14.99 you are paying for is the cool and edgy spelling of the word “magic.” I’m sure my man Blooey spent a long, sleepless night huddled up with his notepad and a small flashlight in the back of his 1985 Toyota pickup in a mormon church parking lot coming up with that gem.

    Agreed on the trap. Spoil the shit out of it for me. Like the brutha who thought Dirty Harry may have only fired 5 shots “I gots ta know!”

    But really, Bloo is on hard times and I think all reviewers and commentators should consider a gamers hardships before being too critical. I know he doesn’t have a disabled punker girlfriend to swing around like a rubber hose to defend himself, but that guy is a homeless vet! He stocked supply hut shelves for our country! Have a heart, for Golonda’s sake.

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 26, 2014 12:58 pm

      ~vibes

      Vets like Blooey get the shaft in this country, especially disabled vets. I hate that, and I’m glad BM is finally getting the care he needs and earned for serving our country.

      That sentiment expressed, I’ll go back to being a regular YDIS troll now.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 26, 2014 1:32 pm

        Well, the truth is 90% of the guys who go into the armed services are doing so because the only other way they’ll continue getting three hots and a cot is to continue living with mom and dad. People with brains, a lot of value to give society, and can manage to hold down a halfway decent job don’t go into the army or navy. So why not “loser goes in – loser comes out?” Sure, throw them a hot and a cot now and again, and give some treatment for their mental owchies caused by sarge yelling at them, but I’m not sure why they deserve any more consideration than anybody who has spent many years working full time in private sectors and pouring a third their pay into the system. I’m not talking about Zaks or Jamals or any other lazy drain on the system, I’m talking about us brave souls who get up and go to work every day for neither fortune nor glory. Labor Day, bitches!

      • August 26, 2014 2:24 pm

        If the Kenyan Usurper actually cared about vets, the government would do a bulk-buy of Blooey’s stinkdungeon and make it required reading for the “common core” curriculum.

        Thanks, Obama!

      • Mjollnir permalink
        August 26, 2014 2:44 pm

        Most people don’t know this, but in America, soldiers actually get paid for being in the army. So there’s really no need to thank them for their “service”.

        And unless a disabled veteran is disabled as a direct result of his duties in the military, he’s just a disabled person who was also in the military at one point in his life.

        Veterans don’t deserve free housing and medical care for their entire lives as a matter of course. This veteran worship is an unhealthy overreaction to the despicable way the commie-hippy-fags treated returning soldiers from Viet Nam.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        August 26, 2014 3:22 pm

        “This veteran worship is an unhealthy overreaction to the despicable way the commie-hippy-fags treated returning soldiers from Viet Nam.”

        No, it isn’t. Read up on your history, you fucking idiot.

      • August 26, 2014 5:56 pm

        No, it isn’t. Read up on your history, you fucking idiot.

        This is the part that makes him look like a bigger idiot:

        Most people don’t know this, but in America, soldiers actually get paid for being in the army.

        Funny, the ads used to say, “It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure”, meaning that, first of all, it’s a job. The proliferation of payday lending places around military bases (another national disgrace) also makes it clear that there is a payday, therefore there is pay.

        I think our resident closeted-gay neo-Nazi isn’t from the States- he muffs up too many details to be a ‘Murrican.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 26, 2014 7:01 pm

        I vote Mjollnir to be our new Kent!

      • Timotheus permalink
        August 27, 2014 6:44 am

        Actually, and perhaps sadly, kent has way more class than Mjollnir.

        He has scrubbed his blog of posts after he was exposed on the ‘shite, but his blog is still in place. Look at his blog roll and it is clear what he is all about.

        http://bloodandironrpg.blogspot.com/

      • August 27, 2014 10:44 am

        Is “Daily Stormer” a weather-related website?

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 27, 2014 11:13 am

        I believe it tracks storm fronts exclusively.

      • Mjollnir permalink
        August 27, 2014 5:45 pm

        Sykirobme – What exactly are you not understanding? The fact that commie-hippy-fags called soldiers coming back from Viet Nam “baby killers”, or that after Desert Storm, everyone went apeshit about unbridled fucking heroism of defeating an enemy that surrendered in droves to reporters.

        Bigby – http://www.quickmeme.com/img/5b/5b54e5df0bb472aa272e940074353ae240b566d1606acc5a51a6b2143feabb42.jpg

        Timmay – I took down my posts because I decided to scrap my rpg upon discovering the glory that is RQ6. I keep the blog up so I can conveniently scan the blogroll.

        YDIS – The Daily Stormer is America’s Finest News Source, everybody knows that.

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        August 28, 2014 6:42 am

        ~goose steps

  80. August 26, 2014 2:47 pm

    Here are trap spoilers: The trap is neither a mechanical nor a magical enclosure or damage-causing artifact, it is more of a situational trap. An NPC (more like a “DM Player Character” type) plays on the sympathy of the players, inducing them to part ways from a certain amount of their gold, with no benefit accruing to them.

    Don’t mess with the Bloodymage!

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 26, 2014 2:57 pm

      Financial Inconvenience to all PCs!

      • August 26, 2014 3:09 pm

        For a brief moment, I was miffed at myself because someone else scooped me on the stinkdungeon, but I’m okay now because I’m buzzed on a “pseudo-gin” infused vodka I made with a fuckton of juniper berries I found on the grounds at work. “Stink in Golonda” or cheap vodka? It’s no contest. Sorry, Bloo.

        Death to my liver!!!

  81. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 26, 2014 3:55 pm

    I’m still kind of lost on the “Stink” in the title. If the final battle is with a Vrock demon or something, and the MM says “it carries with it an almost unbearable smell” then all’s good. But very few monster entries in the book actually go out of the way to describe a “stink.”

    I know Troglodytes do. And maybe Otyughs. But the fact is most of the monsters in the manual probably have an unpleasant smell humans would not like much, and like a lot of things in old school D&D it’s left to the imagination of the DM to add such fiddle dee dee (personally I take a cue from Pokemon and have monsters scream out their name like “Dire Corby! Dire Corby!” or “Behold! Behold!”). If Blooey really wanted to have added some value to his page of monster names with check boxes, he’d have included a new stat “Hobo Power.” Have each beastie or demonite come with a stink scale of 1-10, with 1 being a teenage girls freshly douched vag, 8 or 9 being Ed Greenwoods ass after a three-day con weekend with no shower and cheap hotel toilet paper, and the 5 middle ground being a hobo riding the bus to get out of the hot summer sun.

    I’m not sure several demons hanging around a village or temple are going to stink any more than a place like Moria which would be just steaming with a thousand years worth of orc and goblin farts.

    • August 26, 2014 7:42 pm

      It’s the product that stinks.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        August 27, 2014 10:28 am

        That sounds like a slogan for Blooey!

        Polyhedron Games: It’s not you, it’s the product that stinks!

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 27, 2014 11:08 am

      • bad wolf permalink
        August 27, 2014 8:09 pm

  82. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    August 26, 2014 6:54 pm

    Your cheap vodka would no doubt taste better quaffed from a genuine Polyhedron Games Flask ($16.99 or $19.54, depending on which identical picture you click on), except that I can’t seem to actually buy anything at the Cafepress store. You click on the flask and it just takes you to another screen of products. Maybe this is why Bloo can’t seem to make any money? I would think people would be lining up out the door.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      August 27, 2014 5:48 pm

      I really thought that might be cool, but it’s one of those little key chain flasks that holds one ounce. That’s not even a fucking shot. That would not even get a hardened AA guy to fall off the wagon. A concert security dude who finds it would just laugh at you and give it back without pouring it out. But I guess a one ounce shot for 16 smackers is about right to go with a 9 page adventure for 16 bucks. Blooey, I try to stay loyal to your teachings in the Pollyegg dojo, but jeez looeez.

  83. Timotheus permalink
    August 27, 2014 6:59 am

    Mind Flayer Porn Alert!

    Scroll down a couple of pix to see a Flayer squeezing some boobies – and you can buy the original for only $500!

    Also – this fucker backed 730 kickstarter campaigns!!! That has to be a fucking record. What a maroon.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 27, 2014 7:02 am

      Ok, that link is fucked up – maybe try this:

      https: //www.kickstarter.com/projects/marktaormino/maximum-mayhem-dungeon-2-secret-machines-of-the-st

      and remove the space between the : and the / at the beginning…

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 27, 2014 11:05 am

      He gets points for throwing in Blaxploitation to the blOwSR mix. Chocolate Thunder certainly calls to adventure more than Lady Wrinklequim ever did.

      • justme permalink
        August 27, 2014 2:03 pm

        I can don’t have to stretch the old imagination much to see shooting mind-flayers with a bikini wearing a 70’s action mama would be more fun then cleaing rat crap off of 2000 cooper pieces with sister No-Fun.

    • justme permalink
      August 27, 2014 2:04 pm

      Note to self- start a kick-starter campaign actually after writing something.

    • Angry Black Gamer permalink
      August 29, 2014 4:29 am

      RIGHT ON! Leave it to a Nubian goddess to take nothing short of a laser rifle into a suckdungeon.

      • Angry Black Gamer permalink
        August 29, 2014 4:31 am

        She will melt 2,000 cp right on to YO ASS!

  84. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 27, 2014 11:11 am

    Uh oh. Looks like SJW and lesbian witch trapped in a man’s body Timmy Brannan was on the wrong side of the fight for this guy’s first module!

    http://timbrannan.blogspot.com/2014/08/all-hail-vampire-queen.html

  85. Scott permalink
    August 27, 2014 6:25 pm

    I always try to stop by when I’m getting fucked up at home on a work night so I can embark on a shambolic rant about something like tao-dnd’s pickup guide a la Badger in Better Off Dead, the second best Christmas movie next to Gremlins.

    Hi, you guys!

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 27, 2014 7:08 pm

      Hi, Scottt!

      Are you naked?

      Not that there is anything wrong with that. In West Virginia.

      • Scott permalink
        August 27, 2014 9:00 pm

        I wasn’t aware that being naked was wrong elsewhere. My whole life has been a lie. 😦

  86. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 27, 2014 7:40 pm

    Here follows the only other review online of “Da Stank”, from Drive thru rpgs (by a “verified purchaser” no less). Sorry, but I smell Oh Captain My Captain all over this. The writing is totally Blooey’s haphazard style. Hey, he was the first person to throw some funds into his own crowd sourcing for Blooeycon, so why not buy your own module to do a review? Oh, Blooey, you devil you!

    Heh. I think the enemy descriptions may have been “top notch” because they were cut and pasted from the MM.

    “short Version- Deadly. Very Deadly.

    Longer Version- I found the Stink in Golanda surprisingly thorough and useful for a small adventure. The descriptions of the (many) enemies was top notch and the environment was interesting. I was especially fond of the placement of the new monster descriptions next to the location where they are encountered, as opposed to an appendix. On a PDF this avoids flipping back and forth while running the adventure from my iPad.

    The maps were very nicely done and the battle sheet provided at the end was easy to read and use. I am usually quite ADD so these additions are very helpful.

    I am pleased with the quality and feel confident recommending it to others. I will be purchasing more from Polyhedron Games in the future”

    • PrinceofNothing permalink
      August 28, 2014 6:18 am

      “I am pleased with the quality and will be purchasing more from Polyhedron Games quickly before i exit this world.”

    • Mjollnir permalink
      August 28, 2014 2:11 pm

      5 out of 5 Stars!

      Based on this review “the Stink in Golanda” must be among the best adventure modules ever made. “Masks of Nyarlathotep” get lost, “The Enemy Within” go fuck yourself, for we have a crowned a new king. All Hail Blooey the Thrice Great!

  87. Timotheus permalink
    August 28, 2014 6:48 am

    Zak has been so beaten down that he calls Shlo a child molester! Jesus!

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=30271&page=37

    Be interesting to see whether he retracts and apologizes for this lie…not holding my breath…

    As a bonus, some noodledick expresses outrage that the SJWs do not attack us at YDIS.

    • August 28, 2014 7:29 am

      And here I thought the way he was clinging to that one Max Nordau book they told him about once was sad. Yeah, man. Max Nordau is the evil daddy. You’re either WITH an ancient dead French Jew or AGAINST him. Whose fucking side of the Dreyfus Affair are YOU on, game dorks?

    • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
      August 28, 2014 9:10 am

      It’s weird to me that these guys are so afraid of “social justice warriors.” The people they’re terrified of are basement-dwelling nerds who only flex on the Internet. Though the same could be said for everyone who posts on therpgsite as well.

      It’s like the Pundit with his “swine” or Zak with his “Tippers”…if these people are so irrelevant, stop looking for them under every bed and maybe stop talking about them for five minutes.

      Of course, having enemies is the only thing that makes these guys feel important. Which is why argumentative little control freaks like Zak carry around a list of people that owe him an apology: they all live in a world where “letting it go” equates to “no one is thinking about me, I’m a nobody AGAIN.”

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 28, 2014 9:23 am

        It’s not really about any particular word or group of people, i think Social Justice Warriors, like Swine or Tippers or Terrorists, is just a convenient label to place on a hetrogenous group of people that you have a particular beef with in order to make them seem monolithic, identical and, most importantly, less human.

        It’s a lot easier to do morally questionable things against THE SWINE then it is to do things against Cock Dickerson, loving husband, father of 2 mailman, zak mysoginist petition signer. Or should that be Cock Dickerson, Fatbeard, unemployed, loving son, father of 3 campaigns and 12 maid characters, zak mysoginist petition signer?

      • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
        August 28, 2014 9:39 am

        So what you’re saying, Prince, is that the guys who rally under the various banners of the Gamer War are really just big fans of the Two Minutes Hate from 1984?

        I buy it.

        “We’ve always been at war with Tippers.”

      • August 28, 2014 11:32 am

        Nailed it. “Without you I am nothing.”

      • kingofalltherotten permalink
        August 28, 2014 11:52 am

        They can’t really hit YDIS because there is nothing to hit it with. All Zak ever does is try to make everything a crisis about him and his girlfriend and fewer people are listening and he is getting agitated. He was a porn actor in fringe movies, big deal, if anything, that makes me question the wisdom of someone with an Ivy League education.

        Instead of living in his own little world where only he knows all the facts maybe he can unclench a little, figure out a way to actually contribute again to the gaming industry (he released vornheim, a mediocre product, but he did contribute something, if anything, I Hit It With My Axe is not a contribution or really a display of his or his group’s comprehension of role playing games in my opinion) and join the rest of the world.

        The fact that he hasn’t figured out that a DIY hobby has no gatekeeper and that being the Sid and Nancy of the OSR pays out exactly zero really makes one wonder if he is actually sane enough to be in society or if he honestly might need to seek some sort of mental help.

    • August 28, 2014 12:00 pm

      Calls him a child molestor… the “S” stands for shit. An even bigger shit defends him when schlo asks a mod to delete that comment.

      I think all those hair products have eaten Zak’s brain.

      • kingofalltherotten permalink
        August 28, 2014 12:09 pm

        When Zak said the bit about just calling the guy a child molester and moving on. That speaks volumes about how narcissistic and out of touch he is and how Zak places himself far above others.

        He also calls into question his sanity. If anyone said he spit on the sidewalk Zak would explode into a tirade, drum up a quote from the Sidewalk Committee of America, quote 10,000 emails for no really reason and scream on all social media about anyone saying anything about him needs to produce an a thousand pages of proof to back their claim and video evidence, or it factually never happened.

      • August 28, 2014 12:44 pm

        Meanwhile, there’s a loogie on the sidewalk for everyone to see.

  88. August 28, 2014 12:06 pm

    The reason nobody mentions this place is because it functions as the safety valve of the game blogs- sooner or later, each of them is going to come here to vent about the hobby.

    It’s also a good source for news about the hobby, like failed kickstarters and shit products (hi Blooey!). Chuck D said that rap is the “CNN of the streets”, this place is the CNN of the blOSR.

    • Timotheus permalink
      August 28, 2014 1:35 pm

      And Zak and Punkdick have made the rpgsite into the Reichstag of the blOwSR.

  89. August 28, 2014 3:08 pm

    Good ol’ Zak, he sure is amazing sometimes. Using child abuse to straw man his detractors instead of using Mandy as a human shield. She must not be feeling very well. 😦
    Hero of the People.

    • Schadenfreude permalink
      September 1, 2014 5:56 am

      The best part is that Zak thinks saying “You’re attacking me and my friends” with “You’re a child molester.”

      Why the fuck does anybody think he’s smart? For instance, earlier in the thread he says something like “That’s just logic 101”–except that it isn’t. And anyone who’s ever studied logic would know that.

      Why the fuck does anyone think this guy has any redeeming value? He’s a nasty, petty, stupid jackass.

      • Schadenfreude permalink
        September 1, 2014 5:58 am

        For that first sentence, I meant “The best part is that Zak thinks saying ‘That’s a problem that you might be reinforcing’ is the same as calling someone a child molester.

  90. kingofalltherotten permalink
    August 28, 2014 5:52 pm

    Why couldn’t Zak have taken up Burning Wheel instead of D&D? With his high end education that RPG would be just his thing. He might not even need a sliderule and a scientific calculator to play it.

  91. i don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
    August 29, 2014 5:54 am

    As a sociology major, I can’t think of what the fuck Zak means when he claims ‘harm’ can be proven with sociology. If anything, a qualitative study would take these women on their word. I think he thinks cultural studies is sociology.

  92. kingofalltherotten permalink
    August 29, 2014 7:53 am

    I think he thinks he is infallible and has all the answers when in reality less and less people listen to his tirades anymore. It is pretty obvious that all of his followers are on shaky ground when he lashes out at people like Skarka who didn’t seem to mean any harm. None are safe from the wrath of that crazed little goblin that is the Zakster.

  93. Timotheus permalink
    August 29, 2014 10:43 am

    Lesbian Witch Boy, desperate and floundering for relevance, manages to do an interview with Grim McRapeypants (who has been begging people for the last week to interview him).

    And getting caught up in his own apologia, he makes some moronic and asnine statements:

    “James is also one of those RPG “boogey men” who people often know more about from other people than the actual person himself. Much like Zak or RPGPundit.”

    Right – there is so little online content generated by Zakattack and Tarnowski, on blogs and forums and google+, that people can simply not find any of their own words in order to draw conclusions about them.

    Brannon is a fucking ass-kissing mansplaining idiot.

    http://timbrannan.blogspot.com/2014/08/kickstart-your-weekend-gor-rpg-interview.html

    • August 29, 2014 12:32 pm

      Not difficult to picture Brannan clamoring to play a rapeslave in the Gor game, “Lady Cocksheath” or something…

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      August 29, 2014 9:18 pm

      “The system will be d6”
      d6? I guess you would have to have to pick a tired old system to be the engine for a tired old setting.

      The 80s called. They want their suckdungeon and AIDS scare back.

  94. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 29, 2014 12:50 pm

    Appy Polly Loggy’s to anybody who loves Gor, but back in the day I remember it was usually the lowest of the metal dude dorks and Emo-before-Emo-was-Invented creepier gamers (who often smelled like motor oil though they didnt’ work on cars) who read them. The better of that breed seemed to go to Elric, then Robert E. Howard was the happy in-between where we all met. Anyway, all I know of Gor is that one movie I saw on MST3K that featured excessive midget “buffalo shots” (asses up in the air with camera close-up).

    • August 29, 2014 2:07 pm

      I always passed them up at the B. Dalton- there were just too many volumes to bode well, and they looked like a cheesy ERB knockoff… Edgar Vice Burroughs, if you will.

      I also passed up buying any “Conan” books, just read the REH stories and reshelved them.

    • August 30, 2014 5:11 pm

      That Gor film. Not a particularly proud moment for Jack Palance or Oliver Reed. Reed looks especially perturbed about the whole deal. Of course, the man had bar tabs to pay.

  95. PrinceofNothing permalink
    August 29, 2014 5:00 pm

    Ongoing Report on the Treatment of Patient 136(keywords: pornstars, blog, liars, trolls, 5e, Fall of Hasbro Incident).
    By DoctorofNothing

    Note: As per the Shlo incident, treatment is to focus on symptoms only. Until we have a proper understanding of 136’s spectrum of disorders, any effort at long-term recovery is doomed.

    As outlined in the initial report, 136 is to be contained in a dingy artist studio on site, filled with at least one canvas and assorted paints and brushes, a laptop connected to a closed network only(ref Who do we Hate the Most Incident, Kent Inhibitor, Vibes), one chest containing 30 packs of condoms(to be replaced each month to full capacity), one wire-frame mandy replica(ensure to spray it with the lovely lovely estrogen and ensure the mandy-coating covers the object sufficiently), one audio-device that is to play a looped broadcast of soothing noises in a voice approximating that of 136’s female companion(Ref. Mandy).

    Any personnel that are to interact directly with 136 must be able to quote all of 136’s blog, google+ and forum posts from memory and are to be quizzed on this no less then 20 minutes prior to starting their interaction with 136. As of the Shlo incident, any mention of objects, things or concepts outside of 136’s posts within 50 metres of 136 is considered a Class 3 violation and will result in an immediate suspension. Personnel are to agree with 136 in everything it says and go along with it, unless it asks for a means to escape the facility or tries to debate them. Protective earphones are to be held on person at all times, and personnel should ensure they can put them on within no more then 10 seconds of initial warning signals.

    Early warning signs include:
    Low priority:
    -136 attempts to engage personnel in innocuous seeming conversation regarding tabletop gaming, LGBT, its previously published works, its porn star career or its porn stars.
    -prolongued eyecontact
    -Increased or decreased nonchalance
    -growling

    Medium priority:
    -136 accuses personnel of ‘grotesquely distorting’ its previous position[when agreeing with it, if not high]
    -136 accuses personnel of lying, slander, laziness, child molestation etc.
    -136 adresses personnel as ‘Tipper, Liar or Pig Fucker.’

    High Priority:
    -136 attempts to engage personnel in discussion regarding civil rights, bigotry, sexual freedom or morality
    -136 accuses personnel of insanity, creepy-ness, stalkerish behaviour, trolling, facism, holocaust denial, genocide, constructing self-replicating planet-killing devices with interstellar capability etc.
    -136 attempts to show print-outs of its prior discussions to personnel

    Omega Priority:
    -136 attempts to engage personnel regarding allegations as to its homo/transphobia, or its gradually declining position on the artistic circuit.
    -Any questions regarding the actual nature and meaning of ‘consultation.’
    -Any implication that 136’s personal political viewpoint is anything but the most moral and enlightened philosophy that has ever existed and indeed will ever exist in all possible permutations, time lines and dimensions.

    Any interaction with 136 is to be kept to an absolute minimum. 136 is to be fed and clothed and on site personnel are to ensure that the forum run on the closed server is to bear as close a resemblance to a standard rpg forum as possible(social retardation, weird akwardness around female members, anachronistic or bizarre political viewpoints, a superstitious fear of innovation, white knighting etc.). No less then 50.1% of the topics are to concern the ‘ongoing conflict’ between the ‘Social Justice Warriors,’ 136 and a possibly fictional entity referred to as the ‘Pundit.’ Personnel should ensure most of the discussion is focused on the accusations against Zak S however. Personnel taking the role of the SJWs are to report for psychological evaluation every week and to be rotated each month.

    136 is narcissistic in the extreme and will regard any disagreement, no matter how minor, as a personal attack. 136 can no longer differentiate between friend and foe at this stage. Records indicate personnel that actually attempted to engage 136 in discussion either fled, lapsed into a catatonic state or eventually succumbed to a bizarre sort of celluar decay(rapid aging?). 136 has mediocre debating skills, but infinite persistence and is capable of sustaining even the most fallacious argument for days if not months. 136 is not above using the very tactics that it accuses its detractors of employing, and personnel should be on the lookout for the characteristic scraping sound of moving goalposts to indicate the discussion has shifted to a new phase.

    Prognosis for recovery: Hahaha, oh you were serious.

    Recommended treatment: Mirror-match vs Dark 136.

    • August 29, 2014 8:33 pm

      Can 136 be weaponized, or is it simply being held indefinitely, like a smallpox sample?

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        August 31, 2014 6:31 am

        Our focus should be containment. While 136 could theoretically be weaponised, any situation that would mandate its use against a member of the human race, no matter how depraved or heinous(ref JaMal), raises serious ethical and moral questions about the validity of survival at any cost. Must we turn into monsters, can we not simply go quietly into the night, with dignity etc. etc.

        By studying the aftermath of fora that have come into contact with 136, we can learn to prepare internet communities that have remained blissfully unaware of the ongoing conflict and mitigate a subtantial amount of the psychological trauma. In time, we hope to replicate an extremely reduced version of some of 136’s tactics to use against our most heinous foes(Aspergers? The Tyranid? Kent?).

      • Timotheus permalink
        September 1, 2014 9:12 am

        DoctorofNothing, I am intrigued by the device referenced as the “Kent Inhibitor.” What is its effective range? Can it be recalibrated for other entities?

      • PrinceofNothing permalink
        September 3, 2014 6:27 pm

        The Kent Inhibitor has proven effective on any humanoid within a -1.00 – 0.25 (standardised) hetrosexual range within an area of 1 forum only. Much like the Golden Throne of Sacred Terra, we are too afraid of what will happen when we turn it off to allow for adequate testing, though theoretically the device should be effective against 75% of RPGnet and almost certainly Alexis.

        Be sure to adjust the device to the level of literary pretension and anal circumference of your intended target. Based on anal circumference and pseudo-intellectualism levels, Alexis is the most vulnerable target.

        Also be sure to sniff your fingers as you read through the following gem.

        http://therpgpundit.blogspot.nl/2014/09/an-rpg-charter-of-freedoms-and.html

        Yes, a fucking constitution for fucking roleplaying games. You know what, let’s give more then fucking bullshit technological specs. Let’s do a little activism of our own.

        I call on everyone that reads this fucking bullshit to personally email Pundit and tell him that it doesn’t fucking matter. No one cares, John. No one cares about your stupid ideological rpg conflict, your life, your ‘credentials as an rpg designer’, your marginal consultancy job, nothing. I don’t see a goddamn charter for monopoly or fucking video games, because none is required in the first place. Ditto here.
        You people are like a horde of filthy, unwashed beggars, squabbeling over a single coin. Fuck your charter you narcissistic prick. I am angry because like many a Ydite i read through this shit to laugh and feel superior and even i fucking lose my mind when i see this inane fucking garbage that you pass as content. You could have made a random table or a good idea with this time(assuming the hypothesis that is by no means proven that you can actually design worth a damn). Other people that sign this petition could have done something for rpgs, their own lives or society with that time(and in that goddamn order!).

        Eat shit Pundit. Onto the dung heap of Rpg history where you belong you marginal nonentity.

        (positive vibes random table).

        Megadungeon purpose/themes:

        1. Self-replicating terraforming project for bizarre race of extra-dimensional mineral-based creatures and their hideous chimeric servants.
        2. Psionically resonant structure that shapes itself according to the nightmares, fears and desires of anyone who enters.
        3. Malicious, intelligent trap constructed to lure and kill legendary hero of prophecy. Kills others to improve upon itself.
        4. Leftover from ancient, primordial times when the world was young and form and function was not so rigid as it is today.
        5. Non-euclidian labyrinth designed to imprison entities of increasingly unfathomable nature.
        6. Old Siege tower constructed by primordial empire, long since erased from history by the wrath of vengeful deities.
        7. Intricate clockwork device that moves the spheres of the heavens. Needs repairing, rewinding or similar service.
        8. Vainglorious tomb constructed by Ancient God Kings when confronted with omens of certain doom. Entire population entombed within. Omens might be true.
        9. Petrified body of a dead Deity or Titan. Inhabited by various cosmic parasites, corporeal manifestations of remnant divine energy and similar creatures.
        10. Puzzle box of great size, unfathomable purpose and deadly design made by creatures both unknown and unknowable.

  96. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    August 31, 2014 5:56 pm

    Can I get a review for Blooey’s Beldany: The Fey Kingdom? I need to know more before I spend $21.63 (wtf kind of number is that?) on an 18 page PDF.

    According to the comments, it’s not even a PDF but a Scribus layout file. Come on, Blooey. If you are going to charge $21.63 (WTF???), you could at least take a second to export to PDF.

    http://www.rpgnow.com/browse.php?manufacturers_id=4130

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      August 31, 2014 7:39 pm

      Shop smart. My understanding is you get all those maps and materials on the Polyhedron Beldany Campaign Shower Curtain (and when you shower, you better think of Blooey).

      http://www.cafepress.com/+polyhedron_games_llc_shower_curtain,699847072

      My understanding is printed on it are several random tables, including one where you roll a die and use the shape of the number for neighborhood streets. See, sounds pretty stupid if Bloodymage does that, but when Zak does it he’s hailed as a genius. Porn more product!

      Happy Labor Day everybody! That is, to my fellow gamers who actually have full time gainful employment, and not lazy ass blOwSR half-tards who would slit their wrists in the tub if they had to get out there in the jungle with us. Rather than go to cool BBQ’s may you sit alone eating Jack in the Crack taco’s while watching Xhamster and wacking it to Zak coldly and mechanically humping Mandy on a stained mattress in some dirty looking goth set (true story!).

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 1, 2014 10:20 am

      Blooey is actually a marketing genius. If he sold his less than 20 page PDFs at the typical market value – say $1.99 ($2 bucks) – he would probably get five “serious”* buyers and maybe 10 more who would only buy it for the lols. That’s $30 bucks. But by pricing his wares at $21.63 ($20 bucks), granted only those 5 serious buyers would be his only sales, but that’s $100 bucks which will keep the lights on a lot longer than $30 will.

      *and by serious buyers I mean seriously retarded

      Also, Blooey’s outsider art trumps Zak’s pretentious, pseudo-intellectual dribble like Vornheim anyday. A campaign setting on a shower curtain is true genius and I’m glad he conceived of it before he exited this world.

      • September 2, 2014 1:03 pm

        Blooey’s hoping that bored hipsters with trust funds will buy his stuff ironically. When Lena Dunham displays a “Beldany” shower curtain on an episode of Girls, we’ll know that Blooey has finally made it.

  97. Timotheus permalink
    September 1, 2014 9:09 am

    With things being kinda slow in Das OSR, Jason “Come sit on my lap” Zavoda goes into Purifier mode because he is sick of the big tent diminishing the significance of his Nonsra fanfic:

    OK, things are very slow, but this is a quick and entertaining read that reminds us just how impotent some blOwSRtards are.

    • September 1, 2014 9:34 am

      You got a link for this? Do I even want to see what I can never unsee?

      • Timotheus permalink
        September 1, 2014 11:17 am

        That would help, eh?

        Try again:

      • Timotheus permalink
        September 1, 2014 11:19 am

        Hmmm…my links are not coming through – am I in Trouble Tickets agai?

        Here it is with a strategic space:

        https://plus.google.com/+Jason
        PaulMcCartan/posts/ioC1UrUP8Xe

        If that comes through, remove the space between “Jason” and “Paul”

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 1, 2014 1:06 pm

        Zavoda is the poster child for social retards in the blOwSR. It’s just like reading posts by Zak the Gatekeeper but at a third grade writing level.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      September 2, 2014 1:23 pm

      Is he still flogging that shit?

      I remember him endlessly posting that fucking novel on Usenet in the 90s.

      Fuck!

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      September 2, 2014 6:41 pm

      You know you’ve made it in the OSR after you’ve been banned from somewhere. And nobody does it with the same Rain Man efficiency as Blooey:

      http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?678481-Infraction-for-bloodymage-17)-Permanent-Ban

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 3, 2014 5:59 am

        Blooey should appeal before he exits this world.

      • September 3, 2014 6:02 am

        Blooey appeals to nobody!

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        September 3, 2014 11:44 am

        “Well, this is not one of my favorite boards but I have product to sell, so I’m registering for an account.”

        Oh my Captain. He brings such wit and charm, so much promotional outside-the-box thinking, that he’s just on too high a level for these low-foreheads who moderate forums. Can’t they see he’s just being witty and playful? These used to be qualities people admired. He probably just forgot to insert a winking smiley in there. Unless Thorkhammer used them all up.

  98. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    September 1, 2014 3:59 pm

    OSR News is hiring content providers. I think I’m going to pitch a column called OSRetard, where each week I pick one total fucking socially retarded tool and get the entire internet to harass them until they commit suicide. I’ll start out simple and easy – Zavoda is up first.

    • Radovarl permalink
      September 2, 2014 6:06 am

      And to think at one point when I lived closer I was one call away from meeting up with this creepy fucker to play elf-games. I can’t for the life of me recall why I never picked up the phone, but kudos to me for good instincts!

  99. FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
    September 3, 2014 7:33 pm

    Sean Patrick Fannon

    You’ve Kickstarted his Fantasy Heartbreaker, “Shitstaintar”
    You’ve paid his way to go to gaming conventions.
    You’ve GoFundMe-ed his move across country.
    Now you can pony up once again and pay for this fat fuck manchild’s healthcare!

    http://seanspickoftheday.com/2014/09/02/the-rpg-creators-relief-fund/

    Hey dumbass, you are in a Blue State now that has Obamacare. Sign up for it you FAT FUCK!!!!

    • justme permalink
      September 4, 2014 4:53 am

      Or a job with a good salary or a heathcare plan. If you want to be supported as a “creator” spend your time creating things people actually exchange money for. The cheers and jeers economy just doesn’t pay well.

    • Timotheus permalink
      September 4, 2014 5:34 am

      This begging for medical care is evil, and offends me and mine to the very core.

      I will contribute to cancer-stricken Aussie housewives instead.

    • Scott permalink
      September 4, 2014 6:48 pm

      lol @ asking unemployed fat purple-footed fucks on hoverounds for healthcare money

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 4, 2014 8:30 pm

      Fannon’s next GoFundMe will be called “I Need An Underwear Change – It’s Been A Month In This Pair Now”.

  100. September 4, 2014 7:08 pm

    HOW WILL THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL MARK THE DEATH OF JOAN RIVERS???

    • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
      September 4, 2014 8:27 pm

      NO JOAN NOT ON BEYONCE’S BIRTHDAY YOU SELFISH HORSEFACED JEWESS!!

      • FEAR OF THE UNBLOWN permalink
        September 4, 2014 8:29 pm

        This is worse than Farah Fawcett dying earlier on the exact same day as Michael Jackson – nobody remembers. And I used to fap to her swimsuit poster in middle school too!

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