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If you gave Michael Curtis only $100, Michael Curtis is giving you one final warning to give him more money or fuck you, you lose

October 9, 2013

That’s what I got from this post, which is essentially a ransom note but instead of just one victim he’s managed to catfish three suckers who now need to up the ante if they want any hope of seeing closure:

I DONT WANT YOU TO GIVE ME MORE MONEY, BUT IF YOU DONT GIVE ME MORE MONEY IM YOURE NOT GETTING SHIT FROM ME :(

I DONT WANT YOU TO GIVE ME MORE MONEY, BUT IF YOU DONT GIVE ME MORE MONEY YOURE NOT GETTING SHIT FROM ME 😦

The last thing Mike wants is more money. I mean, ignore the fact that he begged for money (and this ain’t his first rodeo), extended the deadline for you to give him money, decided to keep more money than he needed, is breathlessly updating his money begging to make sure you know you can still give him more money, is telling the three suckers who gave him the most money to give him even more… but this is NOT encouragement to donate more, if that’s what you think this is you must be crazy or something.

159 Comments leave one →
  1. Bastardos Axegrinder permalink
    October 9, 2013 8:58 am

    Enough with begging for OSR revisionist material. They only thing old school about these man-children is the chunks of rotted Cheetos in their neckbeards. Grow up and live in the real world for chrissakes!

  2. unclecarbuncle permalink
    October 9, 2013 11:02 am

    AW GEEZ

    I carry a gun everywhere because I’m terrified of the world.

    http://garycon.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=720

    • October 9, 2013 12:38 pm

      “I had good experiences in Iowa in 2006.”

      He never forgot you, Adair Iowa… he never forgot you.

    • Peryton Cock permalink
      October 9, 2013 7:42 pm

      Christ, I feel bad for the poor guy. If I lived in the neighborhood I might check out Polycon. I’d probably need to bring my gun though (just to fit in – hopefully not for any impromptu LARPing).

  3. Gollum permalink
    October 9, 2013 11:04 am

    Curtissss iss a Geniussss

  4. Kent permalink
    October 9, 2013 11:15 am

    I’ll come clean and admit that I gave Curtis $100. I am worried that if I give him another $50 or $60 I won’t have any money left for food this week and still might lose out on his notes if I am outbid.

    Please, please give me money so that my investment is not wasted and I can eat more than rice and beans this week.

    I have put up a DONATE button on my blog. Whoever gives most generously will receive a fresh pair of Aione Dungeon underpants. Any moneys I receive above and beyond what I need to win Curtis’s original notes I promise to use for something that I want.

    • October 9, 2013 12:31 pm

      “Blog has been removed.”

      That’s the LAST time you trick me, damn you.

    • Cockblocker permalink
      October 11, 2013 4:00 pm

      That is … actually a pretty good idea. “There seems to be a lot of neediness in the OSR so donate to me and allow my superior judgement to determine the best use of your funds.” You could go all interactive and have a begging tournament to see who would whine the loudest about their First World Problems.

  5. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    October 9, 2013 1:09 pm

    You seem more lucid than usual lately, Kunt. Did those limey socialized medicine docs finally get the meds combo correct?

  6. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    October 9, 2013 1:18 pm

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=29114

    How would Geoffrey stock B1: In Search of the Unblown?

    Kitchen: a giant doberman puppy the size of a house with tentacles for front legs, and pus-oozing size double d breasts for back legs. Instead of barking it shouts “Free Manson!”

    Cave #2: an 11 year old girl being gang boinked by negro dwarves that constantly vomit bile with maggots in it.

    Master study: Zak Princess “sword fighting” with a red-headed tranny on a couch while Mandy Morbid claps and giggles gleefully.

    OK, not so great. YOU make the call!

  7. Kilgore Trout permalink
    October 9, 2013 11:38 pm

    Is this the same dude who writes adventures for Goodman Games?

  8. PrinceofNothing permalink
    October 10, 2013 3:01 am

    Geoffry is a hobbyist i thought. If i recall correctly he is a real-estate salesman that started to publish his own stuff, was contacted by Raggi, and has now published 3 adventures and started his own psychedelic fantasy adventure line, where he publishes other peoples work.

    • Kilgore Trout permalink
      October 10, 2013 3:44 am

      I meant Curtis. Surely the same guy who is on a paying gig with DCC RPG? For shame!

      Public begging by adults is disgraceful.

      • Skarka the Hutt permalink
        October 10, 2013 8:37 am

        Yep, it’s the same guy.

  9. PrinceofNothing permalink
    October 10, 2013 6:10 am

    Because nothing says ‘i r an rpg professionul’ like a spot of begging next to your supposed job. Jesus what a slob. Its not like he can’t throw his notes onto the nearest copying device and just mail 3 copies. Or copy his notes onto a different piece of paper.

    Jesus. And i thought Rob Kuntz with his ‘I CARE ABOUT THE LEGACY OF DND AND THEREFORE I MADE ADVENTURS BASED ON GARY GYGAKS ORIGINAL CAMPAIGN SO EVERYONE CAN SEE HOW AWESOME IT WAS AND NO I WILL NOT PUT THEM ON PDF AND 500 COPIES ONLY FUCK YOU’ was bad.

    • bad wolf permalink
      October 10, 2013 8:18 am

      It says “one of the adventures” so i imagine he could include original notes for different adventures to each person who ponies up a cool C-note.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      October 10, 2013 9:57 am

      I am convinced now that I could wipe my ass with graph paper and sell it to these blOwSR retards for serious cash.

      • FASERIP permalink
        October 10, 2013 9:16 pm

        If it doesn’t sell, donate it to PLAGMADA.

      • October 10, 2013 9:48 pm

        Can you steer my RPGSite thread back on topic, i.e. about ME? Why is Zak being allowed to steal my spotlight?!?!?

      • October 11, 2013 6:56 am

        Someone who can brag about selling nudie paintings for “5 figures a pop” deserves the spotlight.

        http://www.therpgsite.com/showpost.php?p=698029&postcount=54

      • October 11, 2013 8:17 am

        Hey, by game blog standards one or two massive $15,000 paychecks every three years or so is a fucking rock star, cut the throbbing gristle some slack!

        http://www.artfacts.net/de/kuenstler/zak-smith-15810/auktionen.html

        Do you have any idea how many books JARIV has to sell to nibble that kind of cheddar, much less give Maria the rent? By the way, have we ever determined how many silver pieces per acre of cleared land a name-level Wife or Porn Girl is worth to her gamer man? Six?

      • Timotheus permalink
        October 11, 2013 9:31 am

        Gosh, the RPGshite says we aren’t funny, and that we are immature! That we are haters and homophobes!

        Uncommon and cutting edge commentary from internet scholars – we have been shamed!

        Fuck those Zak-apologetic assholes – they should actually play games rather than bloviate and posture all the god damned time.

        And Benmoist claims someone accused him of being YDIS? Bullshit. Another desperate plea for credibility…

        And a big shoutout to the three people on that thread who admitting liking this blog!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        October 11, 2013 12:33 pm

        My favorite part is when the RPGShite crew mocks Big Purple Dildo mods for being left wing conservatives, when most of the Shite-Heads who were banned from RPGNet were shown the door for being cunt mouths over different editions of elf games, not Libertarian (i.e. Republicans with no money) scholars.

  10. The Fire Giant That Killed Black Dougal permalink
    October 10, 2013 8:45 am

    More JMal wisdom: http://www.blackgate.com/2013/10/08/appendix-t/

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      October 10, 2013 9:53 am

      Thanks for including that nude Toyman cover art, JaMal. Now I have to explain to my young children why mermaids have boobs but no vajayjay.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        October 11, 2013 12:50 pm

        I mean seriously. Imagine, JaMal, if you were watching a Disney movie about a French mouse chef or something and you were suddenly in a position where you had to explain bastardy to your children?

    • Peryton Cock permalink
      October 10, 2013 7:03 pm

      I never really hated J-Mals posts before but that looks like it was directly lifted from everyone’s favorite blog. At least the dude could have written some sort of mea culpa but just to show back up like nothing happened . . . .

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      October 10, 2013 8:50 pm

      Looking at that portrait, I found myself remembering a quote from “Margin of Profit,” a story by the late Poul Anderson

      Hilarious, think he’s rubbing his backers’ noses in it?

    • Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
      October 13, 2013 2:56 pm

      Just think, once the boobs at Autarch finally get Dwimmermount out, maybe the boobs at Black Gate will assign Jmal to review it..

      can anyone say .. awkward…

  11. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    October 10, 2013 10:44 am

    “…This is a great post. An excellent bit of scholarship, James…”

    Same ol’ posts – same ol’ ass-sucking comments from lamers. Good to have you back, Jimmy Geekface!

  12. Kent permalink
    October 10, 2013 1:11 pm

    From Gollum’s Mentor:

    ==
    Thank You

    The Save Stonehell Fundraiser (which swiftly became the “pay what you want” release of Convention Specials: Revealed) is finished. Actually, it was finished two hours after it started, surprising the hell out of me. Due to your overwhelming generosity, my efforts to raise $300.00 to cover or defray the cost of getting my old computer repaired or replaced was met six times over.

    One hundred and nine of you contributed to meeting that goal, resulting in a total of $1889.63 in contributions and purchases of the limited-edition PDF. I am astounded.
    ==

    109 village idiots

    1 politician

    $1889.63

  13. October 10, 2013 1:34 pm

    GOD DAMN IT I WANT TO DIE JUST KILL ME DEAD ALREADY!!!!!!!

  14. Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
    October 11, 2013 2:56 pm

    Just spotted this: http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=63281

    This is a joke, right?

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      October 11, 2013 3:29 pm

      Just FYI, all my turds and used condoms are OSR Standard Compatible.

    • The Magnificent Poop van Pants permalink
      October 11, 2013 10:59 pm

      my nomination for the offical blOwSR logo ….

  15. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    October 12, 2013 7:44 am

    The RPGShite called us homophobic. Let me make this perfectly clear. The only people we are ever calling fags around here are Log Cabin Republicans (who are called self-loathing faggots by other fags) and Kent (well, just because). We are a big tent, not unlike paganism. All should feel welcome.

    Except that English faggot Kent, who is gay.

    • Timotheus permalink
      October 12, 2013 10:22 am

      That thin-skinned, humorless J Arcane guy, who tries to peddle his cut-n-paste shit as something other than cut-n-paste shit, is also a faggot. But I am not scared of him, so obviously no phobia invovled.

      Actually, most of the holier-than-thou bitches who posted in that thread about how immature we are are a bunch of pretentious non-gaming cocksuckers, including the rpgpundick. Even the Irish are cooler than they are.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        October 12, 2013 10:40 am

        Their anti-Big Purple Dildo thread essentially reads like a typical YDIS comments thread.
        http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=27543

        The RPGShite-Heads are basically the pot calling the YDIS kettle black. And by black I mean nigger. Because if we’re homophobic, then they are racist.

      • October 12, 2013 11:24 am

        Don’t they have a big sign up on the shite, NO IRISH?

        Some luminary of the OSR, I forget who exactly, swears up and down that slavery was a good thing because it got our African friends a lot of fresh air, exercise and sunshine that they wouldn’t get in jail. I might have read it in one of those “Is This Pagan?” blogs or that critically acclaimed new game “Arrows of Indra” where the Hindus are finally given the full treatment other fantasy races orcs and elves have fucking always enjoyed.

        Finally they are a playable race!

      • Pocari Sweat Nubu Nubu permalink
        October 14, 2013 1:47 pm

        I loved how pissed off he got and asked that everyone go through all of his posts to find any racist comments.

    • Skarka the Hutt permalink
      October 12, 2013 4:38 pm

      I enjoy taking it up the ass like any good fag. And nothing here has ever really offended me. But I must have a thick skin.

    • I don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
      October 13, 2013 4:23 pm

      Only Australians can be thick skinned!

  16. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    October 12, 2013 7:38 pm

    Those that game with a group get their game on. Those that are too fat bearded and socially awkward to be around other people argue with other perma-virgins about the potential game breaking repercussions of introducing a +1 long sword into a campaign. And when I say argue, I mean clog the fucking intarwebs up with their flabby arm flapping as a cloud of Cheeto dust rises as they frantically tappity tap tap tap away at their keyboards. I thought there was an F5 storm raging across the world but it turned out to be so many OSR neckbeards arguing that the sky was blotted out from all the snack chip flavoring rolling into the air.
    Everyone one on the RPGsite folks frantically flapping their gums about how this place is “new to them” and they “never read it” are ashamed to admit they were totally masturbating to the pic of lord and savior Gygax checking them colons of the blosrtards.

  17. Timotheus permalink
    October 13, 2013 9:21 am

    Yeah, it is hilarious how a thread about this blog on the rpgshite ends up with those punks accusing each other of being racist, yelling “Your country sucks” and Zakina continually grabbing the mike, reminding everyone he is trying to add to his slut squadron. (Which given how he uses them on his big purple as proof of what women really want, you have to wonder if he has any respect [or even knows] any women who do not fuck on camera for money.)

  18. Kent permalink
    October 13, 2013 1:25 pm

    Admiring Me
    ==========

    Today, awaking from a pleasant dream in which I was casually awesome I decided it was time to question why my slumbering mind only palely reflects the glory of my being.

    Contemplating my essential qualities, I have abstracted for the benefit of my peers, Jesus Christ, Socrates, Shakespeare and Beethoven, and all lesser kinds of people all the way down to the thing-people of the OSR, the quintessence of elevated existence, which is to say existence in a state of grace.

    Three aspects for aspiring gods:

    *** Handsome — As the Lion is beautiful so am I.

    *** Intelligent — See deeper with or without whiskey.

    *** Insulting — Kindness and Truth, elegantly phrased in good humour.

    Follow me in admiring me.

    • October 13, 2013 2:05 pm

      STANLEY MOON: You’re the most beautiful person in the world. Here, I’m getting a bit bored with this. Can’t we change places?

      GEORGE SPIGOT: That’s exactly how I felt.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      October 14, 2013 5:30 pm

      Kunt, I’m sorry the med combo didn’t work out for you.

  19. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    October 13, 2013 2:47 pm

    I’ll just leave the title of this here:

    http://www.rpgnow.com/product/120413/The-Winds-of-Foul-Crack?src=FrontPage

    If this is a blOwSR offering, it might be a nice companion piece to the Stink in Golanda. Or it could just be a modern adventure set at GaryCon.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      October 14, 2013 6:25 pm

      Even better is the companion piece, The Arid Gash.

      Are they trying to outdo Glory Hole Dwarven Mine?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        October 15, 2013 10:11 am

        HA! And the RPGShite says YDIS has no influence on gaming culture.

  20. Kent permalink
    October 13, 2013 10:35 pm

    The Tao of D&D has been reprimanded for using too many of the internet’s words as Wikipedia is now running short.

    In the days before the internet, The Tao of D&D perfected the technique of speaking without the need to breathe. Locally, his interminable bluster was known as ‘the long wind’ and is believed to have contributed in a small way to climate change in North America.

    Jimmy Wales, founder of Wikipedia, has pleaded with Tao to “get to the fucking point already,” and said “Wikipedia would be happy to share the internet’s words fifty-fifty with Tao until a new source of words can be found.”

    http://tao-dnd.blogspot.com

  21. October 13, 2013 10:43 pm

    WHY WON’T YOU JUST LET ME DIE???!!!!!

  22. Pocari Sweat Nubu Nubu permalink
    October 14, 2013 1:43 pm

    I used to really like Zak’s blog, but after reading his endless whining I realize he’s just another rat-face asshole from LA. Homies got some issues.

  23. Kent permalink
    October 14, 2013 9:34 pm

    Morrissey’s autobiography is out Oct 17th

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Autobiography-Morrissey/dp/0141394811

    “The book, simply called Autobiography, will be published as an instant “Penguin Classic”, in accordance with the singer’s wishes.”

    • October 15, 2013 6:21 am

      WTF? You can pre-order this on amazon.co.uk but not American amazon. Do they think that Americans are uncultured or something?

    • October 15, 2013 10:14 am

      MORRISSEY AND THE SMITHS ARE THE SOUNDTRACK TO MY MISERABLE EXISTANCE!!!!!! WHY CAN’T I JUST DIE???

      $0 OF $2,500 GOAL RAISED.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        October 16, 2013 9:15 am

        Somebody gave Blooey $2 today.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      October 15, 2013 11:34 am

      Jeez, Kunt. I guess this explains why you are so obsessed with suicide. Life is too short to listen to sad faggot music. Or sad faggots in general.

    • Kent permalink
      October 18, 2013 12:53 am

      Review in the Guardian.

      Not a penguin classic then.

      http://www.theguardian.com/music/2013/oct/17/morrissey-autobiography-triumph-mired-moaning-review

      • October 18, 2013 8:11 am

        Facially, he appears to be devolving into Jay Leno.

      • Kent permalink
        October 18, 2013 12:12 pm

        wrt bloated beefy face — from pg. 202:

        “In a despicable abuse of friendship Oscar Wilde then duped me into buying a painting which he claimed had magical qualities.”

  24. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    October 15, 2013 11:53 am

    “If a double decker bus – crashes into Kunt
    We’ll have a party, the latest YDIS stunt
    And if that queer gets smeared, we’ll drink a ton of beer
    And celebrate our Kunt, and send him off with loud roaring jeers”

  25. Kent permalink
    October 15, 2013 1:33 pm

    I came across this early interview which is pretty interesting:

  26. Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
    October 15, 2013 3:05 pm

    Back to something sorta gaming related: http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=63356
    DF mod writes like he’s on YDIS, gets thread locked.
    Why does Egg of Coot’s writing style seem so damn familiar….hmmmm.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      October 16, 2013 9:12 am

      “Alright, I realise that some of you out there like to masterbate to dog-eared copies of Ayn Rand and the Turner Diaries, but you aren’t going to sneak your revisionist politics in the back door here. “Lincoln is directly responsible for Obama’s crimes, and blah blah blah . . .” Believe it or not, there was a time when Americans shot fascists.”

      Egg of Coot is my hero for standing up to the Tea Bagger racists of the blOwSR.

      • Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
        October 16, 2013 6:21 pm

        It certainly made me chuckle. I’m going to whip out the “time when Americans shot fascists” line the next time some Faux News fan is up in my face.

      • Skarka the Hutt permalink
        October 16, 2013 8:19 pm

        Yeah, I hope they keep him around. It would suck if they kick him out because he told the truth.

      • October 17, 2013 6:11 am

        Truth? What is truth?

      • Shitty McTits permalink
        October 20, 2013 7:59 pm

        “Ponch’s Pilot,” that is the funniest fucking thing I have ever read on YDIS. Even better than the whole Dorothy Sayers thread a long while back.

        I would totally offer to blow you, but I think Kent has that covered.

        Every so often I get worried that YDIS is just a bunch of malevolent choads who don’t play games anymore and just like to shit on people who do.

        And then something like that comes along and completely restores my faith in humanity. Smear some blood on the lintel, and may Gary’s Protological Exam pass over you.

  27. unclecarbuncle permalink
    October 16, 2013 6:49 pm

    MEAN WHILE CANDI CHARMI TAKES THAT BULBUS DEVIL MAN HOOD LIKA CHAMP STAGERS OUTIN A DAZE AN GOS DOWN CORDOOR 10 FEETS WIDE AN PAST TH PERVY DWARF FUCK U CANDI LET’S ME OUT . SHE FEELSA TINGL IN HER LOINS DEEP FINDS TH ELVATOR AN STARTS PRESSI BUTONS INA PANIC

  28. October 17, 2013 12:31 am

    Can someone please summarize JMal’s views on bastardy for me, please? I tried reading the original posts, but the shit was TL;DFR.

    • October 17, 2013 7:30 am

      Watched Ratatoille with his kids and caught the vapors when he realized “bastardy” was integral to the plot. Family scandalized, JMal wondered aloud, “What do I tell the childrens?!?!?” Pixar now on shit list for propagating progressive definitions of what an acceptable family unit can be.

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        October 17, 2013 7:43 am

        The only acceptable family formation is a mother who works to support the family and a father who shirks all responsibility and courts online celebrity from unblown nerdbergers who mistake “going on and on about pointless gaming minutiae” for “academic discourse.” Obviously.

  29. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    October 17, 2013 11:48 am

    “I spent $150 on vaporware Far West Kickstarter from Garth Skanka and all I got was a portrait of myself as cowboy with Down Syndrome two years late.”

    http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?688303-Far-West-goes-to-Cubicle-7&p=17283409#post17283409

    • October 18, 2013 8:14 am

      Hmm, this gives me an idea for a Boot Hill campaign featuring Downie cowboys…

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      October 18, 2013 10:14 am

      Call it “Special Trails”…

  30. Kent permalink
    October 17, 2013 5:09 pm

    The most diligent and determined policemen ever … Starsky and Hutch.

    And there is a red car in it.

    http://www.amazon.com/Starsky-Hutch-Complete-First-Season/dp/B00018D3RI/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1382054820&sr=8-2&keywords=starsky+hutch

  31. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    October 18, 2013 11:23 am

    Yo, Kuntington, the main reason shows like that used to be popular was because there was nothing the fuck else on. That is why it lingers in pop culture genetic memory. Anybody who would sit and waste their time on dogshit like this nowadays must be lonely, bitter, British…um, you probably get the picture. Can’t even imagine why anybody would want to own it. Was there a single fucking episode of this, or your favorite Columbo, that is worth sitting through a second time? Is an hour worth nothing to you?

    Fuck, I keep forgetting who I’m talking to.

    • Radovarl permalink
      October 18, 2013 11:41 am

      Plus, everyone knows the two most diligent and determined lawmen ever were Dale Cooper and Harry S Truman.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      October 18, 2013 11:48 am

      Kent might be interested in the fan fic communities dedicated to Starsky & Hutch doing each other up the butt. It’s not quite as popular as the two bros from Supernatural doing each other in the butt fan fic, but it’s out there nonetheless.

      • Radovarl permalink
        October 18, 2013 12:59 pm

        Jeepers, thanks for putting us back on topic, there, AS.

  32. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    October 18, 2013 11:45 am

    Here’s your Feel Good Friday Thread:

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=28047

    Some naïve guy posts a friendly (albeit somewhat gay and doofy) “It’s Great to Be A Roleplayer and Part of the Roleplaying Community” thread at the RPGShite, and the socially retarded RPGShite-heads shit all over him. And that Black Vulva guy is a particularly nasty piece of work on the Autism spectrum.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      October 18, 2013 12:51 pm

      The guy should have lead with something to make sure he was on the good side of The Unblown. Perhaps said he liked to start characters out with max hit points at 1st level, or that characters with high stats were the beez kneez.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      October 18, 2013 1:47 pm

      To be fair the OP is pretty eye-rollingly stupid.

      I mean, really, “brave the perils of our hobby?” Choking on Cheeto dust is a peril, I guess? Heart disease from lack of exercise, maybe?

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        October 18, 2013 3:39 pm

        Oh, I dunno. He could be referring to this site.

  33. Kent permalink
    October 18, 2013 3:03 pm

    The Downs Cowboy portrait mentioned above has made me pause on this thought. Is it possible, in any artform, to create grotesqueries of Captain Kirk’s Dick Blood and Arneson’s Spectre which would not be in some way complimentary to the real thing-men behind their chosen names?

    There lies the true difficulty in wounding idiots online. No manner of characterisation, no matter how degrading, is heard by them and appreciated in their walnuts to be lacking overtones of admiration.

  34. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    October 18, 2013 3:38 pm

    Ah, now THAT’s the Kunt we have come to know and love. Back to unfunny semi-burns and fist-shaking hatred of fellow commentators in prescription drug-dazed word stuff.

    The “trying to fit in as one of the boys” Kent who sounds at home here is the drizzling shits.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      October 19, 2013 4:35 pm

      Well, at least Kent isn’t as degenerate as Geoffy and Poag who probably would have added a dick blood stain and a severed penis on that baby.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        October 19, 2013 6:25 pm

        Not to mention some Klingons or Gorn raping him while eating his intestinal tract. And they are also shitting.

  35. NUNYA permalink
    October 18, 2013 4:40 pm

    “If you gave Michael Curtis only $100, Michael Curtis is giving you one final warning to give him more money or fuck you, you lose”

    HAY MIKEY CRUTIS – FUCK YUO ! I HAVE MY OWN GRAFF PAPRE AND CRAYINS TO MAKE A SUPERMEGAFUCKDUNGEON AND DICE TO ROLE IT UP OON FROM TEH DUNJIN LEVLE CHARTS!!1

    BOW TO MY GLOREE AND JEANYUS YEW FUCKING HACK!!!

    -NUNYA

    P.S. – I WONT MY HUNDRID BUX BACK BICH!

  36. Kent permalink
    October 18, 2013 5:36 pm

    Captain Kirk’s Dick Blood & Arneson’s Spectre are a PAIR of SITCOM FAGS.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      October 19, 2013 4:32 pm

      I call dibs on Charles Nelson Riley.

  37. Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
    October 18, 2013 5:46 pm

    “Thing-men”?

    I keep reading it.

    “Thing-men”

    Over and over.

    What on Earth does this mean?

    Kent, you are a living confusion spell.

    You probably interpret this effect on others as proof of your superior intellect and sensitivity.

    It’s not.

    (You can go masturbate in your shame corner now, weepy one, freshly charged with a new chastisement.)

    • Kent permalink
      October 18, 2013 6:07 pm

      As an enigma, my superiority is largely revealed through the inevitable outbursts of inferiority from everyone I interact with.

      My sensitivity is in hibernation for this is the season of my fun.

      • October 19, 2013 8:22 am

        “…superiority is largely revealed through the inevitable outbursts of inferiority…”

        Using this logic, the Edsel was the greatest car ever made.

        Or Ireland, the greatest nation.

  38. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    October 18, 2013 6:09 pm

    Standard past procedure is that The Kunty One will vanish for a time from YDIS after a smacking down. He’ll show up as Kent on various forums where he’ll be banished eventually while The Unblown snicker cause they’ve seen it before. He’ll pop back up here as some lame username or three for a bit, then eventually have some kind of delusion event (taking too many/not taking enough meds) making him think he has some kind of superior brain and comedy skills, and he’ll be Kent once again talking about boring-ass 70’s TV and tossing out attempts at intelligent insults (which generally fail). The Lion King’s baboon nanny would call it the “circle of life” but I call it the “circle of jerk.” Pathos at it’s finest.

    • Lamentations of Gygax's Ghost permalink
      October 18, 2013 6:17 pm

      Shouldn’t Kent be all swooning over The Sweeney and The Professionals? Or is he trying to buddy up to the Americans by talking about inferior American cop shows?

  39. Kent permalink
    October 18, 2013 7:10 pm

    It is clear that CKDB has fulfilled his life’s ambition to establish a solid (if predictable) presence on YDIS.

    The least part of my life intersects with the high point of his.

    With great pains, and with tongue protruding from mouth, he charts the comings and goings of the stellar Kent, fearful that that aristocrat will swing by and belittle him. All day, as he fidgets with his ill-fitting shirt, a shared garment in his career as store detective, he worries about how he is perceived on YDIS. He twists and curls his hair between his fingers in a trance concocting the mots justes which will establish his presence on a disreputable blog as a dirty mouthed cunt.

  40. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    October 19, 2013 12:23 pm

    Kunt, you have probably gargled more man jizz, tossed more salad and face fucked than anyone here, so for a fuck up of an Irishman how is it that you have this obsessive bro love thing going on with CKDB? Quit fucking around, man up for once in your life and say you want to be CKDB’s bottom bitch and move it along. By the way bro, how is life in Gay Ol’ Ireland?

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      October 19, 2013 4:06 pm

      Hey yo, I’m a wing man at best. I think it’s Arnesons Spec that Kent drools for. I mean, all the gals want to marry a doctor, ammiright?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        October 19, 2013 4:33 pm

        Technically, they just want to marry one so they can divorce him later and take half his money.

  41. Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
    October 19, 2013 12:37 pm

    I think we all need to pause and reflect on the amazing benefits Kent provides the YDIS community.

    1) Feeling incoherent? Confused? Go read a Kent post. You will probably feel like your shit is more together. If not, time to think about local mental health care options. Kent: he’s psychiatric treatment and diagnosis all in one package, and you don’t even need to directly interact with him! “Enigma”? Such a word is poor fare to pay the bill of the deeds of the miraculous Kent.

    2)Feel like hurting the ones you love? About to piss off co-workers with an outburst of rage? Come to YDIS and take a great big steaming poo & pee on Kent. You will feel far better(and can take smug satisfaction in your own moral superiority), those around you will be better off(and like you more), and Kent gets a chubby. Win/win/win.

    3)Kent’s body hosts Kent’s Rectum, a pretty decent individual even if the asshole is surrounded by plenty more asshole. You don’t stop treasuring a diamond ’cause it’s surrounded by useless rock. Ok, more it’s more like a rhinestone than a diamond, but you must admit the contrast makes him seem pretty sparkly.

    4)Evidently he’s performing heroic deeds of intellectual strength somewhere else besides YDIS. He needs to recharge here, where he can be his “least.” He’d tell us about his awesome exploits elsewhere, put we’d probably kill ourselves in shame over our pointless, petty lives. Revel in his mercy! Just be glad we can be a part, if minor part, in the Wondrous Story of the Mighty Kent. (Film adaptation coming soon.)

    Some of you naysaying nitpickers out there may notice some contradictions in the above four points. To you I say: what else has Kent taught us, if not that inconsistency is the hobgoblin of little minds?

    Fatty is smoking: a fatty.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      October 20, 2013 9:18 am

      Kent’s only real problem is he can’t self deprecate like the rest of us for whatever reason, so we do it for him.

  42. Kent permalink
    October 19, 2013 5:09 pm

    This place is like a gym where the punchbags are made from sopping tight bundles of nancy pads. Also I get the impression no head shots are allowed because everywhere I look I see little gay fellas with shoulders narrower than their heads peering out from behind HUGE JEW SPECTACLES.

    • Radovarl permalink
      October 20, 2013 10:39 am

      “sopping tight bundles of nancy pads”.

      You do realize that those of us in the English-speaking world have no fucking clue what this means, yes?

      • Kent permalink
        October 21, 2013 6:27 am

        When you have your first period your mom will explain all about nancy pads.

      • Radovarl permalink
        October 21, 2013 9:37 am

        You are a quirky little bundle of contradictions, aren’t ya? Cretinous and effete aren’t qualities one often sees in the same individual.

      • Kent permalink
        October 21, 2013 10:59 am

        You could post a picture.

      • Radovarl permalink
        October 21, 2013 11:04 am

        I could do all sorts of things I don’t choose to do.

    • Radovarl permalink
      October 20, 2013 10:39 am

      And get over the anti-Semitism. It’s so twentieth century.

      • Kent permalink
        October 21, 2013 6:31 am

        The Jews are a special tribe for sure, god said so. But what he didn’t realise at the time is that JEW is a very funny WORD.

      • October 21, 2013 7:48 am

        It doesn’t matter how many times you say “Jew,” you will not turn into Larry David. You must surrender yourself to this reality, no matter how much it hurts personally to do so.

      • Kent permalink
        October 21, 2013 11:04 am

        Yeah, the only way to get to the level is to have a billion dollars in the bank.

        Its called the –I-dont-give-a-shit-no-really-I-dont-give-a-shit-I-have-a billion-dollars– level.

  43. October 20, 2013 12:00 am

    “Ratatouille,” huh? Jesus, he’s a self-righteous catholic pussy. I can’t say that Tavis and his Adventurer-Conquerer-Quim (top 5 most hysterical YDIS forum creations) cohorts are doing much better, though. You already had one guy jerk off in a corner for a long time, now it takes a whole gaggle to do the same, whilst hemming and hawing over how to publish a middle-school-lunch-time dungeon doodle that’s two years too late?

    Currently Drinking: JMal’s Hawaiian Poser Punch

  44. Kent permalink
    October 20, 2013 8:30 am

    Tao is promoting his book — he wants ydis to mention him and send traffic his way so he is looking for a fight. He should do it since Tao is so transparent about it.

    http://tao-dnd.blogspot.ie/2013/10/theres-charge-for-meal.html

    • Kent permalink
      October 20, 2013 8:31 am

      It’s like watching two UFC champs playing chess for seriuss.

    • October 20, 2013 10:09 am

      Dick.

    • Radovarl permalink
      October 20, 2013 10:41 am

      Someone linked that like three days ago, numbskull.

    • October 20, 2013 10:49 am

      Bitch found “an rpg-net thread” discussing YDIS influence on the industry and won’t provide a direct link? Cocktease.

  45. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    October 20, 2013 8:46 am

    Alexis forgot to mention we also call him a pseudointellectual who looks like a pre-op tranny.

  46. October 20, 2013 11:51 am

    Since Alexis admits he will not allow commentary sympathetic to YDIS, I am compelled to make brief note of his fallacies in this venue. He says he enjoys debate, but he will not permit any view of YDIS that conflicts with his own. He doesn’t enjoy debate, he enjoys browbeating.

    What Alexis claims to be “hatred” is actually “derision.” Oh, he knows the difference, but a victim of hatred is much more sympathetic than a laughing-stock. After all, Alexis has a book to sell and who is going to buy a book from a laughing-stock?

    Alexis claims he is “hated…Partly for daring to produce intellectual property for money.” Nothing of the sort has ever been stated on YDIS. Alexis cannot provide an example because there is none. On YDIS, the mere fact that someone (Alexis or anyone) wishes to sell “intellectual property” does not foment umbrage. Yet, the originality, quality, or utility of said properties are frequently discussed, along with unsavory marketing practices, in critical terms.

    Alexis claims that he is “hated” because he has an opinion. In fact, he is derided for being a pompous wind-bag for whom succinctness is a dire sin. Of course, some of his ‘cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs’ opinions make derision much easier. (My favorite Alexism is ‘D&D should not be fun’)

    I think Alexis is jealous of YDIS because “idiots [are] discussing the relevance of YDIS” and no idiots are discussing the relevance of Alexis. He takes comfort in the fact that no one has “concrete influence upon the RPG universe.”

    The best part of the post is the closing phrase “Reader, make up your mind.” We are confronted with a line-in-the-sand ultimatum: YDIS or Tao! You must side with the revolutionaries or “A bunch of bastards that will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.” Decide!

    Alexis is shameless. He admits the need to pay for advertising and acknowledges that traffic from YDIS will improve the sale of his book, but does he offer any payment to YDIS? Of course not! “There’s a Charge for the Meal,” indeed! He’s getting a free lunch.

    • Skarka the Hutt permalink
      October 20, 2013 8:29 pm

      Indeed, his statement about the irrelevance of YDIS is a huge logical fallacy. It could be because everyone is so aware of how he treats commenters, so they would rather stick their hands in a blender than engage with that narcissistic, self-righteous ass.

    • Timotheus permalink
      October 21, 2013 11:06 am

      Alexis Qaeda is a fat lying bitch trapped in a fat lying bitch’s body.

      He has been called out for very specific things he has said, and refuted thoroughly; and his reaction is to cry to his blog about being “hated.”

      Fuck Alexis Qaeda.

      • Timotheus permalink
        October 21, 2013 11:14 am

        OK, I started to read that thread, but the crying and lying in the first two paragraphs turned me away like a cross made out of garlic.

        Alexis, this is not us hating you, this is us exposing your puffed out vanity for all to see. Perdy took you down with precision, and you are still too fucking stupid to address the points raised.

        So to amend the earlier sentiment for the gentle reader: Fuck off, Alexis Qaeda.

  47. Aos permalink
    October 20, 2013 12:48 pm

    He wont provide a link because he has standards. I can just imagine his sausage fingers a flutter with a surfeit of self-satisfaction as he types. Why do overweight people take themselves so seriously these days? Remember when fat and jolly went together?

  48. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    October 20, 2013 2:51 pm

    Lexi is totally Vlad Malkav. Read that comment and tell me he ain’t.

  49. Kent permalink
    October 20, 2013 3:15 pm

    I kid you not. Aldeboran opens latest post with,

    -This fucking thing just keeps on growing
    -In my spare time, I like to fiddle

    http://aldeboran.blogspot.ie/2013/10/this-fucking-thing-just-keeps-on-growing.html

    • Timotheus permalink
      October 21, 2013 11:08 am

      Kent, I have a feeling that if you were to give “Love, American Style” a decent chance it would be a life-changing experience for you.

      You are welcome, Lord of the Irish!

  50. Recovering Retard permalink
    October 21, 2013 9:13 am

    Well, since Analsexis is recommending his readers should slum it here…

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      October 21, 2013 11:26 am

      Aw, snap!

    • Radovarl permalink
      October 21, 2013 11:26 am

      I’ve really gotta stop clicking on links here. Can’t unsee.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      October 21, 2013 6:28 pm

      Majestic. You’ve truly captured the essence of our favorite bloviating, hex-counting, vanity press author from the Great White North.

  51. Kent permalink
    October 21, 2013 12:34 pm

    Does anyone have an unused account to give away at therpgsite or knights&knaves?

    I have some ideas I would like to share with the little daftards which for the moment I am calling, The Hitler Addendum.

    • Radovarl permalink
      October 21, 2013 12:53 pm

      I do have a troll account on K&K, and I would be more than happy to give it away since I only occasionally use it to terrorize the natives…. to anyone but you.

    • Kent permalink
      October 21, 2013 1:18 pm

      Well, I can’t criticize you for your loyalty to K&K.

      • Radovarl permalink
        October 21, 2013 1:39 pm

        I have to hand it to you. Unlike yourself, I can’t seem to get myself banned there (I was there back when you still were), despite repeatedly insulting longstanding members of the forum both publicly and in PMs, engaging in (what I consider) obvious trolling tactics to start arguments between others, and generally being a anti-geek, anti-conservative dickhead. You must have some secret skill I do not. I’m probably not committing fully enough to the effort. I’ve actually had a few reasonably intelligent conversations via PM with a few of the members about how fucking idiotic the rest of them are (okay, mostly just Foster, who seems to have undrunk the koolaid at some point in the past couple years).

      • Kent permalink
        October 21, 2013 1:50 pm

        No secret, in my case it’s just reputation.

        I don’t consider it trolling either. I bring fresh air and daylight as far as Im concerned.

      • Radovarl permalink
        October 21, 2013 3:49 pm

        Ah, see, I’m a troll and proud of it. The day Gary Gygax died, James Maliszewski started a blog. I started sharpening an ax.

  52. Kent permalink
    October 21, 2013 1:45 pm

    So anyway, when Hitler met Stalin on their Summer hols they were mere boys of 29.

    –Let’s go on adventure in this row boat, Stalin you naughty chap.
    –OK. You row. Gently mind, or I will have to kill you.

    Hitler rowed. Soon he was cross and frowning deeply for the day was hot and his moustache filled with face sweat. He looked on Stalin who gazed smirkingly on Hitler. Stalin liked to get free stuff. Just as Hitler was about to put Stalin in a concentration camp he had in a picnic basket, Stalin smiled, tilting his head and looking up through his eyebrows at the dictator.

    –Let’s make a pact.
    –Like a couple of Jewish bankers?
    –No, like a couple of fags.

    At this Stalin rubbed his knees against the inside of Hitlers’ thighs. Hitler let the oars fall into the stream, crossed his eyes and gasped,

    –Oooohhhhh
    –Hold still. Im going to try to make a baby in your buttocks.

    And that is the story of a couple of boys who were merely 29 years of age.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      October 21, 2013 4:18 pm

      Worst slashfic EVER!

      • Kent permalink
        October 21, 2013 6:33 pm

        No it isn’t. There is worse.

        I have a later episode where Hitler & Stalin, naked except for white bicycling shorts, glitter and moustaches, burst into a mosque to give lap dances. Any Muslim cunts who flinch are arrested by by Germans in gorgeous Seriuss outfits with buttons on them and placed in Concentration Camps.

      • Radovarl permalink
        October 21, 2013 7:03 pm

        Yes, but why do you keep steering the conversation back to Hitler, Stalin, Jews, and homosexuality (though clearly you aren’t alone in this here–and I still don’t quite understand that, BTW)? Not that I haven’t had a stray homosexual thought now and again (though generally I’m a practicing hetero), but the fascination seems more scatological and perverse than any variety of “normal” healthy same-sex flirtation. Would someone please explain this to me? Granted I’m maybe an old man compared to the average YDISrespecter (Ooo, I like that), but I just don’t get it. Call me square (or tetrahedral, I don’t give a flying fuck).

      • Kent permalink
        October 22, 2013 7:14 am

        My one regret is that I was not alive at a time when my playful observations could have caused consternation among the Gestapo.

        I even have a slogan I have been working on, which I would have painted on the walls of public buildings at night when no-one could see me:

        “The Gestapo are a bunch of fags and Hitler is their Mammy”

      • October 23, 2013 8:53 am

        Don’t forget the doodle of Hitler in blackface drag.

  53. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    October 21, 2013 2:12 pm

    Radovarl = mind-gaming mastermind toying with the kind of twitchy Unblowntards who make up a solid 80% of the hobby. Fun!

    Kent = delusional wanna-be machiavellian without the wit or charisma to live up to his own hype as an intellectual shit stirrer. Sad but funny!

    C’mon, Kunt. This has gone far past the point where you generally retreat for a few weeks before simpering back after getting laughed off the forums. Break time, boy-o! Why don’t you tell us to go kill ourselves and fire up that fail of a blog and work off some of that creative energy?

    • Radovarl permalink
      October 21, 2013 3:37 pm

      CKDB – Thank you, thank you, though you (really) are too kind. On the other hand, you should see what I’ve almost single-handedly done to the Acaeum since ’08. It’s like a ghost-town, now (basically to the point where I don’t bother visiting any longer). I like to think of myself as a sort of sleeper agent, whereas YDIS is the public face of OSR-hate. Come to think of it, you can look at some of my work on the ol’ Assyum (sorry, when in Rome), by searching under the username Radovarl there. I had a little help from an OCD fucktard named bclarkie, but isn’t that always the way with these things? I invite you to guess what my current handle there is…. :-).

  54. Kent permalink
    October 21, 2013 3:44 pm

    CKDB, you are a class of moron whose comments could be perfectly specified by Zak Smith in a random table.

  55. Kent permalink
    October 21, 2013 4:57 pm

    http://tao-dnd.blogspot.ie/2013/10/i-am-screw.html

    ==

    Now for my next trick I want to make Jeff Rients and Scott burst into tears.

    • Recovering Retard permalink
      October 21, 2013 6:51 pm

      I thought maybe you left Alexis for a shaven-headed fella in boots and braces… oi oi.

    • October 21, 2013 7:52 pm

      Alexis says: “Committance, unfortunately, is always something that is done in the past.”

      What the fuck is ‘committance’? I can’t find a dictionary that lists this alleged word. I guess Alexis used up all of the real words and is now just making up shit. No wonder he needs to take a month off.

      Then Alexis says: “The default it the antonym, evasion …”

      In terms of intelligibility, this phrase falls somewhere between Gene Weigel and Kent — not a good place to be.

  56. Radovarl permalink
    October 21, 2013 5:19 pm

    Wow, this guy should get some kind of award for self-delusion.

  57. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    October 21, 2013 9:15 pm

    Take your pick, it’s either the estrogen or clogged arteries fucking up his shit. Dude is probably taking a vacation and getting his tranny work done with the proceeds from Pete’s Garage. OR, maybe Alexis and Fatty Ragu the fourth are going to hook up since Ragu and his old lady are about to be splitsville. Look out for a new brand: Lamentations of the Flaming Transsexual.

  58. YouAllAreLame permalink
    November 6, 2013 7:35 am

    Good golley you all need to get a life. If this is all it takes to get your blood pressure up then you need to move to an old folks home and live off jello.

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