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Today something beautiful happened

August 28, 2013

'tis glorious!

’tis glorious! [click to make it bigger, assholes!]

The word “hero” is overused these days. The media throws around “hero” to describe some kid who donates her bone marrow to an AIDS baby or some guy who rescues three girls from a Cleveland-ghetto sex dungeon or some dude who butt-swallows a mummy horse cock so he can power up to cast Odin-curses on his black neighbors.

Recovering Retard, artist-extraordinaire who today created the above image, is not a hero. I would not offend Recovering Retard with such meager company…

RECOVERING RETARD IS A SUPER HERO!!!

Please take note of the technical and aesthetic mastery of this piece. Recovering Retard could have gone broad, farcical and over the top. Instead his hand is restrained and true to life — “Just the facts, ma’am.” He could have used a lurid splash of vulgar yellow for James’ undies or even piss dribbling down his leg, but no hyperbole here — the subtle pee-pee shading brings home the quiet malevolence of the subject’s disgraceful hygiene. Zak fingers himself offhandedly, his attention directed elsewhere, for what could possibly contain his surpassing intellect? — he’s too cool for any school, even Cooper Union. Poor, sad JaMal — even his amazing technicolor Hawaiian shirt and all that cash can’t turn that frown upside down as he meditates on the ill-wisdom of allowing women to vote.

Whose bung did Gary plumb the brown, kernel-yielding depths of? Recovering Retard leaves us guessing, or suggests it is our own cornhole he has violated rendering each of us viewers a victim. Bravo.

Recovering Retard, collect 120,000XP and go straight to Level 8 Fighting-Man. I further award you the broadsword Scather, a potion of extra-healing, a ring of protection +1, 2000pp and elevate you to a Knight of the Hart (Veluna & Furyondy). You can show your silver star badge at any Korean massage parlor to receive 25% off a happy ending (please tip on full amount).

This picture gives me hope. I plugged it into the banner and WordPress is super gay because I’d have to shrink it to thumbnail size to make it fit their size limits, so fuck that I’ll just lead off just about every post with that image to let everyone know shit just got real up in this motherfucker.

Today I felt just a little tiny bit of happiness. Thank you Recovering Retard.

219 Comments leave one →
  1. Hitler's Clitoris Allsorts permalink
    August 28, 2013 5:09 pm

    If it is a photograph then photoshop has been applied to alter the skin tones which seem a touch ruddy to my eye.

    • justme permalink
      August 28, 2013 5:19 pm

      The skin tones do look way too life-like..

  2. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 28, 2013 5:10 pm

    With current horrors and strife going down in the world (Kim-ye’s procreating; Miley’s tongue-hanging twerk, Lindsey being out of the news for two weeks, etc) It’s nice to have a place to come to and let an unashamed tear of hope for humanity drip down my unbearded, unjowlely face. Really, this is what hating the laughable heroes of the blOwSR is all about.

    God bless you, Recovering Retard (really, old school Mad Magazine level work). God bless US, every one…

    • Scott permalink
      August 31, 2013 12:23 am

      First thing I thought was Mad Magazine, one of the jewels in Western civilization’s crown

  3. Timothy permalink
    August 28, 2013 5:32 pm

    ~vibes

  4. You're Lipschultz? My ass whistles! permalink
    August 28, 2013 5:43 pm

    looks like Raggi washes his hair with his own shit.

    • justme permalink
      August 28, 2013 6:08 pm

      Well sure, but what about the picture?

  5. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    August 28, 2013 9:55 pm

    Bravo! Best in show!

  6. Dumb Dungeon permalink
    August 29, 2013 12:02 am

    All while John Adams and the Responsibility Dodging Hobbit just keeps lying and lying. Now it’s a stress-induced heart issue that has caused the latest delay. Woe is him.

    Say what you want about James R, but at least he had the ability to ship out 700 boxes – I’ll give him that. John Adams had around 500 backers for his project – several of whom he scammed for more money for faster shipping – and still the only person who has recieved anything from this more-than-a-year-late KS, is our ol’ friend Tenkar.
    http://www.tenkarstavern.com/2013/06/appendix-n-adventure-toolkits-have.html

    • bad wolf permalink
      August 29, 2013 11:39 am

      Ironically Tenkar would do the review without a copy, or after barely looking at a copy he was sent.

  7. Stalin's Pussy Cat of Nine Tales of the Unexpected Spanish Inquisition permalink
    August 29, 2013 7:29 am

    Surely the point of such an illustration is to publish it far and wide to provoke the subjects into a display of anger which gives sustenance to our amusement. Far and wide. I myself don’t want to look at these people in their filthy undergarments every time I come to ydis to insult the morons who post here.

    • August 29, 2013 9:15 am

      Kent, are you asking permission to post this on your blog? Oh wait, you’ve taken it down again haven’t you?

  8. Sykirobme permalink
    August 29, 2013 7:34 am

    That’s fucking awesome.

  9. NUNYA permalink
    August 29, 2013 10:43 am

    THNAK YUO FOUR TAHT, YDIS AND RECOUGHERING-RETREAD!!! IT BE TEH AWESOME! I AM ARE PRANTEDD IT OWT NAU AND PUTT IT ON MINE DM SCREAN SO MY OLD-SKEWL PLAIRS CANNA IN-JOY IT TWO!!

  10. Arneson's Manboob permalink
    August 29, 2013 11:17 am

    Never before in the history of mankind has this gif been more appropriate

  11. Arneson's Manboob permalink
    August 29, 2013 11:17 am

  12. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 29, 2013 11:33 am

    I also like that Zak seems to be the only one of the lords of game hucksterism who is not very distressed at being on the business end of a deep rectal exam. Not saying he’s gay (I mean, really, look at that manly, citizen of Megacity hairdoo), but he might be wondering how to get a book out of it, like the “When we did porn” opus he shat out years ago and distributed the 35 copies to his friends and family. Maybe he can Kickstart “When Gygax’s Ghost Fingered me bum” to his fervent, fapping fans.

  13. Shitty McTits permalink
    August 29, 2013 8:24 pm

    God damn that’s beautiful.

  14. unclecarbuncle permalink
    August 29, 2013 10:19 pm

    START LOOKI IN TO BUS FARE TO NORTHEST AZ 2015 FOR PREMEAR GAMER POLLHEADCON. AN DD GO AN CANDI OPEN DOOR W FLAMES AN INSIDE 666FEETS x 666FEETS PENTGRAM W 10 FEET TALL DEMON HE CASTS SPELL AN SAVE FAIL CANDI IS CHARMI AS DEMON MOTOINS HER FWD

    • August 30, 2013 11:16 pm

      This ravishing from the three-foot fire-cock? This spurting devil-jism in the back of her throat? This isn’t sex. This is her new lord and master taking care of her. HAIL THE DECEIVER!

  15. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 30, 2013 6:18 am

    Here’s a little Blooeymage Blast From The Past.

    We all know the story of how Blooeymage and his mentally challenged dog walking lady friend headed out to GaryCon earlier this year only to be stranded 70 miles away at a Motel 6 when nobody would offer to drive 140 miles out of their way round trip to pick them up. Granted, he was asking a hell of a lot from the blOwSR crowd who couldn’t be bothered to bring a guy some plastic silverware from the next room, but I digress.

    Well, that epic tale has nothing on this. I give you Blooeymage’s World Gaming Convention Tour 2006:

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=18588

    It is a case study in borderline retarded manchildren. Sleeping in his truck with $3 to his name. No one offering him hotel floor space. Days on end without a shower or any other form of hygiene. Blaming his ex-wife for not renewing his driver license after getting busted sleeping in his truck in a church parking lot with a suspended license by the Arkansas Po Po. Some nice Friday reading to get you through to the three day weekend.

    Good times!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 30, 2013 6:28 am

      http://imgflip.com/i/3atgn

    • NUNYA permalink
      August 30, 2013 6:43 am

      HEY ARS-HOLE SPINCTRE – IT SOUNFD LIKE A BLUDDEYMAG AM ARE LIVING TEH DREAM AND YEW AM BE JELLUS CUZ HE GOT LIFE BY TEHBALLZ MAN!!1

      TAHT DEWD ABIDES MAN!

      :p
      -NUNYA

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 30, 2013 6:57 am

        ~vibes

    • August 30, 2013 7:59 am

      Whelp, that’s it then — I’m gonna book tix for Polyhedracon. I’ll pay with a cashiers check cashed at a church to stay in the spirit of things.

      Looking forward to running my Human Centipede LARP.

      • NUNYA permalink
        August 30, 2013 10:01 am

        PLEZE NOT TO BE FORGETTING YUOR CAM – TAHT IS AM TEH KIND OF HARDONHITTING INVESTIGANTIVE RPORTING TEH OSR NEEDS TO VAULT INTO TEH MEDIA PRIMETIME.!

        ALSOS, WOOD HELP IF YOU HIRED SKINNY DRANK ‘TOOTS TO TWERK TEH BLUD-MAGE AND CAPCHA FOR MTV!!!1

        :p
        -NUNYA

      • Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
        August 30, 2013 4:46 pm

        Human centipede? I call “heads”.

    • August 30, 2013 8:08 am

      “I’m presently sitting in the lobby of the Ramada and it’s pretty empty. Turns out I’m a week early!”

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 30, 2013 6:42 pm

        Oh Blooey, you’ve done it again!

    • Skarka the Hutt permalink
      August 30, 2013 9:52 pm

      The stench must have been insane.

      “Still waiting for the Trolls to call but it’s just after 8AM here. Checked the Little Rock phone book and there’s no listing anywhere for TLG and no personal listings for Steve or Davis.”

      Read as: “Tried to stalk the Trolls today. Not sure why they won’t call me back. Will try to borrow money from them later.”

  16. Ef-You Manchu permalink
    August 30, 2013 7:28 am

    It’s…it’s indescribably beautiful! It reminds me of the 4th of July!

  17. August 30, 2013 7:41 am

    I don’t know why this interests me but the Polyhedron Games domain name is officially up for auction. Current asking price = $12; current bids = 0.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 30, 2013 7:57 am

      We should buy it out from under Blooey and turn it into a virtual museum for “The Raggi/Zak/Jmal” image.

  18. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 30, 2013 7:55 am

    You know what, fuck this. I’m on call in the emergency room all Labor Day weekend and I don’t need this shit anymore. I’m going to buy a beat up old van instead and live in it, showering when I can, and follow the gaming convention circuit. I figure I can pull over and sleep in school and daycare parking lots. I regret wasting all that fucking money on medical school when I could have bought a mint copy of every fucking roleplaying game product ever made instead, or invested it all in a roleplaying con for northern Arizona. Or backed Dwimmermount. My life has been empty up until now, but that’s all about to change! Goodbye, prestigious career and all of it’s empty rewards, hello pee pee and poopy stained underwear and body odor! Wish me luck!

    • August 30, 2013 8:56 am

      ~vibes

    • Skarka the Hutt permalink
      August 30, 2013 9:54 pm

      Start a game company and a con. I hear that is the fast track to some fat dough.

  19. NUNYA permalink
    August 30, 2013 9:42 am

    DAT RITE SPINCTRE!
    ADOLTHOOD IS AM ARE OVRERATTED!
    DONUT BE WORRY – BE HAPPY!
    A GRAM IS BETTER TEHN A DAM!
    LIV TEH DREEM BUTTY!!1

    :p

    -NUNYA

    ps – (DONUT FORGOT TO BE KEEPING A SHIV HIDDEN ON YEW THO)

  20. Timothy permalink
    August 30, 2013 10:51 am

    Someone called out Joe Blochhead’s cult as racist. Having failed to call down the wrath of Odin on the infidel liberals, he ran away instead.

    http://jonupsalsgarden.blogspot.com/2013/08/why-i-am-no-longer-blogging-at-witches.html

    Methinks it is time for a new frozen horse penis charm, verily.

    (Also, it is interesting that he acknowledged said racism – “ethnic pride” – while denying it at the same time.)

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      August 30, 2013 12:25 pm

      It’s weird when bloggers feel the need to “tender a resignation” like blogging is a real thing. It’s not a job, cupcake, no one will notice when you’re gone.

      This part did stick out: “First was the reaction when my friend and Lord, Dan Halloran, a prominent Republican and Theodish Lord…”

      He…calls another man his Lord? Anton LeGay, indeed.

    • Dumb Dungeon permalink
      August 30, 2013 12:27 pm

      my friend and Lord, Dan Halloran, a prominent Republican and Theodish Lord currently under the cloud of political scandal, dared to post one or two things about the God Tyr.
      You couldn’t make shit like this up, even if you tried. Comedy gold.
      Also, not just silly pagan racist. No. Also corrupt. What a friend you got there, Joe.

    • OdeSsaR permalink
      August 30, 2013 6:44 pm

      His ‘organization’ also get called out here: http://www.whomakesthenazis.com/2013/08/anon-fascists-rally-at-stella-natura.html

      “The AFA was founded in the mid-1990s by Stephen McNallen out of concern that other Asatru organizations had lost focus on promoting the Asatru faith as inherently tied to the white race. At least one of AFA’s leaders has ties to white supremacist organizations, claiming former standing as a state-level organizer for the SS Action Group and links to a violent neo-Nazi skinhead gang. “’I’m a white racist and proud of it,” he told a reporter while posing in a Nazi uniform in 1992. ‘ (1)”. “

      • August 30, 2013 6:57 pm

        I’m gonna have to side with GRahowa Grognard on this one — membership in a Nazi-affiliated white supremacist organization does not mean someone is racist. It just means they have a big tent.

      • Skarka the Hutt permalink
        August 30, 2013 10:33 pm

        And by big tent, they mean a massive gas chamber.

    • Skarka the Hutt permalink
      August 30, 2013 10:38 pm

      “Always, I tried to do so with an eye not towards trying to convert anyone else to my political or religious views, but merely to try to show that the Pagan and Heathen tents are, or should be, large enough to accommodate people of all ends of the spectrum; liberal, conservative, libertarian, and more.”

      Unless you are a liberal and/or more. In which case, he wishes you would just go away and stop fucking up his horse penis buzz.

  21. NUNYA permalink
    August 30, 2013 11:36 am

    IS IT WRONG I WONT TWO HIRE THE CHICK WITH TEH PRPLE MOHOC AND BIKINI IN RR’S OSR LINEUP TO BE A STAR IN ALL HOLES FILLED, FULL ON GANBANG VIDEO AT TEH LOCAL GUBMINT-HAFFWAY HOWSE?

    SHE LOOKS LIKE TEH KINF OF “LADY” WHO WOULD SELL TAHT SHIT OUT OF STOCK WITH HER INTHOSIASM?!

    AM SURE THAIR IS AN OSR KIKSTART FOUR 50 GEES EZ!!!1

    😛

    -NUNYA

  22. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 30, 2013 12:35 pm

    Thanks Arneson’s for digging up that Blooeymage gold. I’m fairly certain now that Andy Kaufman did not die, and has been pulling off his largest, most intricate prank in one of the world’s most niche, under the radar hobbies.

    As Oh Captain My Captain mentions in his mind-bending thread, there is surely a book in his adventures of the last decade or so. Maybe a nice indy film. There was an indy “superhero” movie a couple of years ago that it would be a lot like, starring the chick from Juno and the big forhead dude from The Office. It was a sort of sad/funny story about a dork with dangerous delusions of grandeur. The guy even got to pork Juno, less than half his age, as a nice bit of luck in the way our man Blooey has the occasional bit of luck (like not getting the shit kicked out of him by drunk hillbillies who find him snoring in the parking lot of Our Lady of Redneck Cracker Mercy church at 3am).

    But truly, 2006 was the age of glory for BM. Pimpin’ all over the country popping and locking the clutch on his shitbox toyota. He maybe should have charged a few bucks for those autographs though. No money, no honey.

    Special note to BM: You can get a pretty decent Mexican Shower out of a park drinking fountain. They sometimes have one low to the ground for the kiddies that makes it easy to dash a little aqua fresca on yer nads. Maybe even dip them in a bit if you clog the drain with gum.

    • Aos permalink
      August 30, 2013 1:17 pm

      It is also a good idea to get a brush cut and shave your nuts if you are sleeping rough.

  23. unclecarbuncle permalink
    August 30, 2013 3:43 pm

    ARNSONS SPECTRES TH FUCK THA CLEANS OUT TH SHITTI BEDPANS. FUCKOFF DOUCHBAG

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 30, 2013 6:31 pm

      Kent? Are you okay taking your psych meds on your own, or should we call the nurse?

  24. August 30, 2013 4:12 pm

    I’m thinking of authoring a little one act that is totally not lifted from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest where Arneson’s Spectre takes on the nurse Ratched role and is giving group therapy to Jamal, Raggy the Last, Blooey, et all. I guess at the climax Jamal will be lobotomized and Joe Blochead will throw a frozen horse penis through a window to make his escape.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 30, 2013 6:35 pm

      Now that would make for an entertaining night of theater (that’s “theatre” for Kent, Alexis, or any other Nancy Boy that might be reading this).

      If I could go back in time, I would specialize in psychiatry instead of emergency medicine. Thanks to Obamacare and the blOwSR, there would be no shortage of patients.

  25. unclecarbuncle permalink
    August 30, 2013 4:21 pm

    http://www.odd74.proboards.com/thread/9173/kent

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 30, 2013 7:02 pm

      You sure get banned from message board forums a lot, don’t you Kent?

      • August 30, 2013 11:22 pm

        In his defence, ‘threatening the serenity of this board’ sounds a lot like ‘asking awkward questions’ and ‘shaking us out of our contented stupor’. The people whose serenity is undisturbed by Kent are those who’ve decided to ignore him.

        Also, I’m confused. Why would you volunteer to moderate or otherwise be in charge of nerds if you didn’t like confrontation?

    • Scott permalink
      August 31, 2013 12:29 am

      I don’t understand the impulse to moderate gaming boards or blog comments re: anything other than spam or completely off-topic posts. lol @ internet serenity

    • thess permalink
      August 31, 2013 6:55 pm

      Did they delete the thread? I knew they were a shitty bunch of inbred assholes, but fuck…

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 31, 2013 9:44 pm

        It turned into a Kent Hate Fest, so they deleted it.

        Really, guys. If you want that, just come here instead.

  26. Timothy permalink
    August 30, 2013 4:25 pm

    “Please Note: Your comment is awaiting moderation.”

    What the fuck is this? Here, of all places?

    • August 30, 2013 6:25 pm

      I’ve received several PMs that you are sometimes disrespectful in tone if not content as well. Consider yourself warned. DO NOT debate this in the thread, open up a trouble ticket if you would like to make a case for leniency.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        August 30, 2013 7:41 pm

        How do I open a trouble ticket?

      • August 30, 2013 7:45 pm

        You just got one, pal. Keep it up I’ll give you another…

      • Timothy permalink
        August 30, 2013 8:45 pm

        ~petulance

  27. Recovering Retard permalink
    August 30, 2013 4:54 pm

    I appreciate your accolades, and accept them humbly. I have several more of these mamby-pambies on my radar, and I shall strike again soon. By the way, what does our friend Kent look like? I always imagined him as Bob Segar with AIDS…

    Unlike our OSR compatriots, EVERY piece I shall sumbit is a gift from me to my friends here. Our mutual hatred is the only currency I wish to collect.

    To those offended, those mamby-pamby, mentally diseased degenerate scum who continue to pick the corn from the festering colon of Gygax: I can draw, bitch.

    Once again, thank you.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 30, 2013 6:38 pm

      I’m pretty sure this is Kent bottoming for Zak S:

      Oh, NSFW, unless you work in a porno shop or something.

      • Timothy permalink
        August 30, 2013 8:42 pm

        Er…is that a tattoo of a hair dryer? With a flotation device around its base? There must be a whole niche of porn I have never seen before. Hopefully Ragg4 can incorporate that into his next Cannibal Thanksgiving piece and educate us.

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      August 30, 2013 7:07 pm

      Interesting, I always picture Kent looking like a more effeminate Morrissey.

      • Kentissey permalink
        August 31, 2013 7:18 pm

        And if a twenty-sided die
        Grazes your left thigh,
        To game by your side,
        Is the sexiest place to game.

  28. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 31, 2013 6:58 am

    Thought of the Day

    Between the Uber-Liberal PC Police over at Big Purple Dildo going all Tipper Gore, and the Neo(Nazi)Pagan Conservatives like Joe Blockhead shoving frozen horse dongs up their ass to cast Norse spells, and in between you have the Libertarians (read: Republicans without any money) with Asperger’s Syndrome at the RPGShite under RPGPundouche’s banner, I think Bill Maher may have been right:

    “Democrats have moved to the right and the right has moved into the mental hospital.”

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
      August 31, 2013 8:06 pm

      So does that make YDIS people proponents of occidental mythology as our party platform?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 31, 2013 9:42 pm

        We are the Party of Point and Laugh.

      • Timothy Trouble Tickets permalink
        August 31, 2013 9:53 pm

        God damn straight.

        http://timbrannan.blogspot.com/2013/08/white-dwarf-wednesday-77.html

        Lesbian Witch Boy can barely be bothered to mail it in anymore. Even sadder are the bitches that commented on the 77th installment of this table of contents cut-n-pasting.

      • Skarka the Hutt permalink
        September 1, 2013 8:24 pm

        Well, he did want to be the next Grognardia. Looks like he is trying beat that Gorgonmilk guy out for the pope hat.

    • September 1, 2013 5:37 am

      I don’t understand how Brannan can “review” White Dwarf #77 and not comment on the article about car chases in Call of Cthulhu. Maybe he’s going to devote an entire post to it?

      • September 1, 2013 7:03 am

        I think it’s a satire of how intellectually bankrupt the “watch me read it” format has become in the wrong hands. As even fucking wikipedia would say, recapping what happened on the show is not analysis. It’s just proving to your fourth grade teacher that you actually read the fucking book and keeping your blog lurching forward another day.

      • Timothy Trouble Tickets permalink
        September 2, 2013 6:59 am

        I’d love to read about a member of the Great Race chasing down a Model T. That could also draw interest from the Racial Pagan crowd initially – until they find that the Great Race are not honkies, but 10′ high cone-shaped dudes with lobster claws.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 2, 2013 9:26 am

        And their ILLEGAL aliens to boot!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 2, 2013 9:27 am

        Make that THEY’RE. Long weekend, no sleep.

  29. Jack permalink
    September 2, 2013 7:08 am

    So, this caricature has been up here and out in the wilds of the Internet for long enough that I’m sure every old-school gamer on G+ has seen it. And yet, NO ONE has mentioned it as far as I can tell. I think people are politely pretending it doesn’t exist.

    • Kent permalink
      September 2, 2013 12:49 pm

      It is idiotic, or par for the course, to post it here where *we* have to look at it and the portraits can easily be viewed as three stalwart gamers conceived in the image of ydis regulars like Arneson’s Speculum.

      The measure of the effectiveness of insult is in the reaction, of which there is none.

      The artist has this to say about himself, “I can draw, bitch,” and if excited self-appraisal was the mark of a man we should have to agree that he is an important person now – among the life-forms which persist in decomposing excrement here at ydis like Arneson’s Speculum.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        September 2, 2013 8:01 pm

        You seem butthurt, which seems to mean that it is working as intended.

  30. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    September 2, 2013 9:23 am

    PSA Time for all you YDISers, those we hate and those that hate us back, as this Labor Day Weekend draws to a close:

    DON’T FUCKING TEXT AND DRIVE YOU FUCKING MORONS!!!

    I saw a lot (and I mean A LOT) of the aftermath of texting and driving in the emergency room this weekend. DOAs, and those that managed to survive will never be the same.

    If this is concern trolling (I’m still not clear on what that means, Big Purple Dildo), then so be it. Give me a Warning point and schedule a Trouble Ticket.

    That is all. You may now all return to our regularly scheduled pointing and laughing at the blOwSR.

    • September 2, 2013 10:09 am

      But I NEED to get my 30 Days of D&D post in before the barbecue — I’LL JUST LOOK DOWN AT THE PHONE FOR A SEC EVERYONE MUST KNOW MY FAVORITE PLAYABLE RACE THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 2, 2013 11:16 am

        That should be okay, but only if you’ve had a few beers first.

        Disclaimer: No, this is NOT OKAY. 🙂

  31. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    September 2, 2013 11:20 am

    I forgot to start my 30 Days of D&D Blog Posts.

    DAY ONE: How I got started with D&D
    My older cousin who used to molest me forced me to play D&D. Naked.

    DAY TWO: Favorite Playable Race
    Greyhawk Tieflings, followed by Magical Negroes

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      September 3, 2013 10:03 pm

      Geoffrey the Confederate used the 30 Days of D&D threads at DF to flog his range of products. Sheesh, he’s worse than an aging stripper when it comes to wheedling for cash..

      • bad wolf permalink
        September 4, 2013 5:16 pm

        Looks like someone got a lot of “does not play well with others” comments on his report card.

  32. NUNYA permalink
    September 2, 2013 12:43 pm

    IS TEH GORGINMILK GUY RETRADED OR DUMTIN?

    LOOKIT TISH POST ABOUT ‘ALL THE RPG GAMES HE HAS AND AM LIKE’

    http://gorgonmilk.blogspot.ca/2013/09/old-school-clone-wars.html

    I AM JUST DOWNLODED ALL TEHSE GAIMS AND YOU ARE NO WAHT?

    THAY ARE AM ALL TEH SAIM DAM GAIM!!!

    WHAT A MAROON!!!1

    :p

    • NUNYA permalink
      September 2, 2013 1:45 pm

      P.S- FUCKIN ARS-HOAL!!!1

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 2, 2013 4:04 pm

      Wow. There sure are a lot more blOwSR cut and paste retroturds than I thought there were out there.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 2, 2013 4:09 pm

      Oh, and this line from GorgonCum is so typical of these blOwSR bloggers with a million self righteous opinions about the game:

      “Currently I have no regular gaming group…”

      I don’t think any of them actually PLAY, judging by the amount of time they are talking out their assholes online.

      • Skarka the Hutt permalink
        September 2, 2013 8:19 pm

        I noticed that was a common refrain. The entire OSR is pretty much filled with theorywankers.

        My personal favorite is “I have one player”. It almost seems more pathetic. What poor soul are they forcing to play?

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        September 6, 2013 7:52 pm

        This guy seems to only ever have one player at a time: http://somekingskent.blogspot.com/2009/04/first-game-session.html

        Probably some fellow trying to deliver a take-away curry, forced at knifepoint to sit down a roleplay a dog-loving thief from Kent’s richly Freudian fantasies.

  33. Kent permalink
    September 2, 2013 12:58 pm

    Getting back to **30 Rock**, I am up to date now. I suspect the episode in which I was treated to several lingering close encounters with Tina fey’s ass was an imposterior, that is to say an ass double was used. For evidence, when swiveling in stately harlotry from the writers’ room I did not notice Ms fey’s usual bow legged bounce.

    I have grown to like Alec Baldwin, we are both charming in a similar way.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 2, 2013 3:57 pm

      The difference between Kent the Asshole and Alec Baldwin the Asshole is that Baldwin is a likeable asshole, whereas Kent is not.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 2, 2013 4:06 pm

      Also, when you talk about women in a heterosexual manner, you become noticeably more awkward, only confirming our suspicions of your homosexuality.

      Not that there’s anything wrong with that, as they say on Seinfeld.

  34. Kent permalink
    September 2, 2013 3:07 pm

    Here is something that is *much more important than anything going on on this blog for some time* – I have just seen a vague thing moving outside my window, a sort of nondescript ordinary shapeless something that may or may not have moved a little in the dark.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 2, 2013 3:58 pm

      You are still taking your prescribed psych meds, aren’t you Kent? Should we call a relative or neighbor for you?

  35. Kent permalink
    September 2, 2013 3:25 pm

    I have all the *Curb Your Enthusiasm* series and am going to start watching them again, and commenting here about the episodes if I feel like it, and there is nothing you can do about it.

    At one point, after thanking a guy who pays for his and his wife’s meal in a restaurant, he refuses to additionally thank the wife of the guy. This was because her husband went out and earned the money and she does nothing being being a typical useless wife. Ha Ha Ha.

    I like Larry David, we are both observant and honest in similar ways.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 2, 2013 4:02 pm

      Larry is funny in a No Good Dead Goes Unpunished sort of way, whereas Kent is just a bitchy queen who has never done a good deed for anyone in his life (other than the occasional blowjob in a rest room that is). Larry is also OCD, and would probably react negatively to anal sex acts, what with the feces being involved and all.

  36. Kent permalink
    September 2, 2013 4:36 pm

    Arneson’s Spectre, have you ever though about killing yourself? I don’t mean in a ‘Oh, Ive had a bad day, nobody likes me’ kind of way which I imagine is your daily bread. I mean in all seriousness, have you considered vanquishing the pain of your existence, your own private anguish, the deep horror arising from the knowledge that whenever people get to know you intimately life disgusts them in nauseous blasts.

    You claim you have medical knowledge, as if that was important, so why not put it to good use in a universal sense, in a way to allow the cosmos to breathe easier, and end your life.

    Think. On the other side you could meet Dante and ask him, ‘Where do I fit in? I am lost.’ Perhaps Dante would spit in your eye and declaim ‘Disgusting anomaly! Unperson!’, but at least you would know for sure, finally knowing why noone you have ever met likes you.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 2, 2013 5:15 pm

      No, I’m actually quite happy with life. I’m successful and feel fulfilled. I’m sorry you feel the need to project your own personality failures and emptiness on to me though. The suicide reference has me extremely concerned as well. Are you sure you don’t want us to contact one of your neighbors or a family member for you? I’m being serious and sincere now. This shit isn’t worth dying over, Kent.

      • Kent permalink
        September 2, 2013 5:30 pm

        Act like you are happy with life then.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 2, 2013 5:44 pm

        Aren’t you really just talking to yourself now, Kent?

        ~vibes

      • Jack permalink
        September 2, 2013 8:07 pm

        ~vibrators

  37. Kent permalink
    September 2, 2013 6:16 pm

    Im going to go back to ignoring you if you don’t mind. Don’t be offended, this is merely a tactic which gives me peace of mind when confronted with the morons of the world.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 2, 2013 6:28 pm

      It’s probably best that you do, for your own tenuous sanity, to hold on to the little dignity you have left in your pseudointellectual bubble, and the fact you just can’t win.

      ~vibes

      • Kent permalink
        September 2, 2013 7:08 pm

        Of course if you kill yourself I wouldn’t have to ignore your rubbish … You are the quintessential whack-a-mole. I am much smarter than you and humiliate you regularly and yet you keep popping up like some thing that would be better off killing itself.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 2, 2013 7:42 pm

        You have quite a vivid fantasy life, Kent. I’m sure that’s the way it went – in your head.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        September 2, 2013 8:13 pm

        Kunt is mad bro.
        Oh and by the way Kunt, if you say you are ignoring someone and then reply back to them, you are failing at ignoring and at that point you are starting to sound a lot like a interwebs stalker.

      • Kent permalink
        September 3, 2013 2:59 am

        “bro”

        lol

        Let me guess, someone once addressed you as “bro” on the web and it made you feel less lonely for a spell and now you use it to try to make that special connection again but it’s not working is it?

      • Kent permalink
        September 3, 2013 3:26 am

        and “stalker”? The guy never shuts up talking about me. I think he’s a fag. Maybe you two could fall in love.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 3, 2013 6:30 am

        Kent isn’t very good at making friends. Or ignoring people, apparently.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        September 3, 2013 6:07 pm

        Kunt you are a so NOT a bro. However you are a fag. Not that there is anything wrong with that either but you make it worth name calling.

  38. Timothy permalink
    September 3, 2013 6:27 am

    I think kent is pretty in pink.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 3, 2013 6:34 am

      I’d love to see Kent’s review of Dave’s Garage. We should do Kent a solid and set him up with Alexis Smolensk. I think they’d make a cute couple. They have so much in common.

      • September 3, 2013 10:04 am

        Shit, I forgot to distribute that fucking file. Kent, you want droit du seigneur?

  39. Timothy permalink
    September 3, 2013 7:57 am

    My personal love interest shares his thoughts on Faggi’s latest “notice me!” turd:

    http://talesofthegrotesqueanddungeonesque.blogspot.com/2013/09/fuck-for-satan-shit-monster-redux.html

    Who is the chick with the Fuck for Satan shirt? Did R4 steal it from her? No way she took it from him…

    • Jack permalink
      September 3, 2013 8:47 am

      Thanks for the love letter, Timothy.

      The chick is Taylor Momsen; she played Cindy Lou in the Grinch movie and has since gone on to front a band that makes songs with titles like “Make Me Wanna Die,” “Kill Me,” and “Going to Hell.” Apparently she was sporting her I Fuck For Satan shirt in 2011, so…

      • September 3, 2013 10:14 am

        Jenny Humphrey? I thought someone around here said that was an action shot of Greyhawk “Hørsedick Mümmydildo” Grognard in the full ritual raccoonface the goðis like. Good to know all these OSR guys draw from such varied fucking sources when making the edgy fashion calls.

    • September 3, 2013 10:25 am

      So in For Fucks Sake there’s a room haunted by, I don’t know, the ghost of bad 7-11 burritos that not even save vs. pepto can exorcise? But the burrito spirit can only possess living people’s shit so if my shit kills me does it jump off and go for the next guy’s throat? Or does it fall down, limp and lifeless? Help me the fuck out here, JARIV. You’re the lolfap mechanical visionary with the playtesting and shit. How does it work? THESE ARE KEY QUESTIONS!

      And if a wino department store Santa goes in the room does it make a Mr Hanky and one big bill to dry clean the costume? WHO’S GOING TO PAY FOR THAT? JUBILEX?

    • Kent permalink
      September 3, 2013 10:33 am

      She’s looks kinda repulsive. All *wymyn with attitude* strike me as pathetic, who gives a shit if a woman is angry, there is no threat.

      • Jack permalink
        September 3, 2013 11:36 am

        Tell that to John Bobbitt

      • Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
        September 3, 2013 2:03 pm

        No threat of sexual activity involving a penis, at least if she’s around you Kent.

        But seriously, don’t kill yourself. Even if you did suggest it to a fellow poster here. Your slow unraveling is hilarious–a quick suicide would ruin the joke. Unless it involved rectally administered poison–shit, that would kill off the best part of you–ahhhh, just don’t do it.

      • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
        September 3, 2013 4:41 pm

        kent, I’d advise you to quit while you’re ahead, but I don’t think you ever were.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 3, 2013 5:46 pm

        Once again, Kent sounds a little too awkward talking about women. He sounds like a a gay misogynist, not one of the regular, heterosexual guys.

  40. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 3, 2013 11:03 am

    There was a shit monster in that terrible Jay and Silent Bob movie. Yet another thing in that film that was poorly executed (Kevin Smith is the king of poor execution), but I think it is the inspiration for Raggi’s “edgy” poop critters.

    There is no way to do up a shit monster in any media that doesn’t come off stupid and forced. A bad joke. It’s why this kind of thing only showed up in the games run by Beavis and Butthead types when we were kids. Ragg’s has found himself in some kind of weird sweet spot where The Unblown faithful will see gross things done by immature, pre-adult DM’s as outside the box when done by this particular adult DM.

    An adventure with “fuck” in the title, and the standout encounter is fighting The Hershey Squirts? Goddamn Raggi, you are the Kevin Smith of the blOwSR.

    • NUNYA permalink
      September 3, 2013 12:32 pm

      WON DAY TEH HOLE WORLD WILL WRECK-IGNITES A RAGGY CREATE-TYPE JEANYOOS AND CALL HIM TEH SECON COMING OF A LEONRADO DA VINNY!!1

      LEAST TAHT WHAT HIM MUDDERS WEHN HAVING TO MASSIG HIM WIFE’S FOOTS.

      :p

  41. Timothy permalink
    September 3, 2013 2:23 pm

    Question of the evening:

    When an OSR blogger uses the term “Aactual Play” in a blog post, what is the percentage chance that he is being truthful?

    Because there are a whole lot of blOwSRds using that term, and there are a whole lot of the same kids saying “I don’t really have a group right now…”

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 4, 2013 9:57 pm

      Have you seen the elaborate game night setup photos they are posting on Google+ now, complete with miniatures, dice, DM screens and battlemaps, as if someone is about to play an evening’s session of D&D with them? It’s like food porn photos on Facebook. Of course, there is never another actual gamer to be seen in the photos. It’s all very Norman Bates in Psycho.

  42. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 3, 2013 4:36 pm

    I got the “you should commit suicide” rant from Kunt some time earlier this year. Probably around the holidays when he is at his lowest. It’s his go-to call when he is hilariously losing an insult contest and not coming off as the comic/philospher genius he thinks he is (like his heroes Larry David and Peter Falk). And one can understand why he is so consumed with talk of ending it all. His existance is futile and there is no way you could find happiness in his routine. Talk smack on the Unblown Forums, get banned. Come to YDIS with the same M.O. and finds he is totally overwhelmed and confused when those he thinks are dolts end up being smarter and funnier than him by a mile. He’ll vanish for a bit, pop up with fake names for a bit. Get called on it, pop right back in as “Kent,” call everybody cunts, and start praising some stupid shows that most of us have long since put in our past to focus on truly great TV like Breaking Bad.

    This is a weird circle jerk of a life the poor prick lives. Who would not be on suicide watch if that was all they had? Ruther.

    • Kent permalink
      September 3, 2013 5:52 pm

      People like you, and you are almost indistinguishable from everyone here but identifiable by your long winded witless paragraphs, should have to get a licence to go on living for another year.

      REASON FOR LIFE EXTENSION: Currently I eke out a minimal existence on ydis where I provide moral support for vicious stupid outsiders who are incapable of forming relationships for the purpose of gaming. Congenital insanity and subsequent brain damage (I am frequently assaulted by strangers with blows to my head) limit my aspiration for a ONE YEAR LIFE EXTENSION to establishing a presence on ydis commensurate in respect to the traditional pub bore where I will hold forth in stolid self-regard with trembling jowls. Have mercy on the stupid and the vicious for one more year.

      • September 5, 2013 5:09 am

        Was that you I saw on my way to the station, clutching the saloon bar like it was the Raft of the Medusa, groping vainly at the empty air and swilling Guinness at eight in the old a/m on a Sunday?

        You should have said something. I’d have at least bought you a drink; maybe something that doesn’t taste like athlete’s foot feels. Only the Irish…

        Isn’t it about time you put the blog back up again, by the way?

    • Kent permalink
      September 3, 2013 5:56 pm

      lol

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 3, 2013 10:29 pm

      Kent, it’s dog eat dog here at YDIS, and you are wearing Milk-Bone® underwear.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 3, 2013 10:30 pm

        See? Kent isn’t the only one who can quote old TV shows nobody cares about anymore!

      • Timothy permalink
        September 4, 2013 6:10 am

        Defo-Dyno-MYYYTE!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 4, 2013 9:54 pm

        HEY HEY HEY, RAJ!

  43. Timothy permalink
    September 4, 2013 6:15 am

    A desperate plea from Geoffi to his legion of fans to slow down the purchasing of his products temporarily:

    http://psychedelicfantasies.blogspot.com/2013/09/dont-send-me-any-money-now-my-computer.html

    I wonder how long it will take Buford B. Bubba to actually repair that computer? Does Microsoft even send parts to (Supplement VI) Dixieland?

    • Shitty McTits permalink
      September 4, 2013 8:05 pm

      Supplement VI: Dixieland really needs to be a thing for _Planet Motherfucker_.

      • Jack permalink
        September 5, 2013 4:42 am

        Supplement VI: Dixieland. Hmm…that has possibilities.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 4, 2013 10:03 pm

      How is today any different, Geoffy? Nobody buys your kiddie snuff porn shit anyway that isn’t already on an NSA watch list.

  44. bad wolf permalink
    September 4, 2013 4:51 pm

    Zak posted his library-in-a-milk-crate decor last week.

    I know he’s never claimed to be an 0eD&D purist by any means, but check it–
    1eAD&D PHB, MM and DMG (orange spine edition?), 2 x DDG (probably the reasoning has something to do with the Cthulhu mythos)
    3.5eAD&D PHB, MM
    Call of Cthulhu
    Realm of Chaos: the lost and the damned (Warhammer)
    Warhammer 40K Codex: Chaos
    Warhammer 40K Codex: Eldar
    Transdimensional TMNT
    Mutants in Avalon
    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other strangeness
    D&D: B/X Rules (Lulu print maybe?)
    Night’s Black Agents
    Dragon Lords of Melnibone
    Rifts World Book Two: Atlantis

    There we go. The hero of the OSR is playing a Warhammer variant of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

    Cowabunga, dudes!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 4, 2013 10:02 pm

      Those all look like they were purchased on eBay by a Hipster Poser Wannabe over the last two years.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        September 5, 2013 2:31 am

        What a jumble fuck of a collection. OSRtards would shit a brick seeing two D&DG’s being placed in such close proximity to TMNT and Rifts, let alone the presence of an orange spine edition of the DMG. Also, what is up with the plastic wrapped unlabeled books? And just what is up with the upside down and right side up shit? Is he trying to tell us something or is he just a fuck up.

        I’ll go with he’s a fuck up.

  45. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 4, 2013 5:51 pm

    He’s into the Ninja Turtles? Do turtles even have dicks?

    I don’t feel like looking at his farcicle blog. Are The Unblown in his comments section raving over how old school TMNT are?

  46. I asked her her name she said blah blah blah permalink
    September 4, 2013 7:03 pm

    Ken,

    Why are you wasting your time taking abuse here? You’re a smart guy and you write well. Open your blog back up, pick a system you like and just focus on game content. I don’t know, do conversions of the characters from all the books you read. Wasn’t there a column in Dragon like that from back in the day?

    Forget about Zak S, Tao Alexis, Raggi and just create. I think lots of people would read it. I know I would. You were really decent to me a few times via blog comments, which is why I’m writing this.

    Just get the heck out of here and let the denizens find a new punching bag.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 4, 2013 9:53 pm

      Welcome to our newest feature here at YDIS – Kent Talks To Kent, Using Another User ID.

    • Kent permalink
      September 5, 2013 1:17 am

      Have you never felt the urge to saunter into an asylum and stir up the residents to gibbering and tantrums just for the music of it all?

      If you are genuine, rest assured that the cartoon version of me “taking abuse” here has me with long arms outstretched clasping the crowns of two midgets flailing their little limbs for all they are worth. ‘Mad little fuckers, aren’t you,’ I say, chuckling happily to myself.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        September 5, 2013 2:07 am

        Shit just got real bro, shit just got real.

      • September 5, 2013 5:13 am

        Frequently, but that’s -all- you’re doing at present. At least when you have an active blog it’s possible to see you engaged with something interesting. I grow tired of scraping through the paltry two weeks’ worth of posts you amass before being chucked off forums; your blog at least presents your perspective in a form that I can show to people and say “behold, it’s not all Flame Princesses, vagina dentata and endless fucking charts and tables.”

      • Timothy permalink
        September 5, 2013 6:42 am

        Ken(t) sounds like a madman in a bunker ordering counterattacks by panzer divisions that no longer exist.

      • Kent permalink
        September 5, 2013 7:33 am

        Well Von, you may very well be right, though I feel the whole gaming scene transformed into a parodist’s afterworld about two years ago.

      • September 6, 2013 2:17 am

        Perchance, but surely you could cast a few pearls to the swine even as you point and giggle while they cluster about the trough?

  47. Forgot the "t" permalink
    September 4, 2013 7:04 pm

    Of course, I meant “Kent.” Left off the “t” in my haste.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 4, 2013 10:00 pm

      SHUT THE FUCK UP KENT! Everybody knows it’s you!

  48. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 5, 2013 11:14 am

    “The game of life is hard to play – yer gonna lose it anyway…Suicide is painless…it brings on many changes…”

    Hey Kunt, there was one happy suicide in Ohio yesterday! Kidnapper/rapist/ugly gnome Castro strung himself up in his cell like Brooks from Shawshank. Saved us yanks a pretty penny on his lush room and board for the next 30 years. I hope the next time you run down to your “pit chamber” in the housing authority basement and tell the young urchin girl chained up therin to “Put the fish and chips in the basket!” that you know that one day your jig will be up. And British jails aren’t the luxurious paradise like they are in America, where you get to cook lavish Italian meals while Big Paulie drinks wine and cuts up garlic with a razor blade. Practice your slip knots, bitch!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 5, 2013 5:11 pm

      “…the young urchin BOY chained up…”

      Fixed that for you, bro.

  49. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 5, 2013 6:07 pm

    Thanks Doc! Now, about my herps…

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 5, 2013 6:45 pm

      I’m going to prescribe Famciclovir for you because it treats both oral and genital herpes (including sores in the anal region). Do not take if you are pregnant or nursing.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        September 5, 2013 7:45 pm

        I was actually talking about the recurring blisters on my soul.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 5, 2013 8:58 pm

        Then I prescribe

        ~vibes, DAW

  50. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    September 5, 2013 6:58 pm

    30 Days of D&D Catch Up

    DAY 3: Favorite Playable Class
    The Magical Negro. Also my favorite race (see above), because I am Hardcore Old School and like race-based character classes.

    DAY 4: Favorite Game World
    Krace. The map reminded me of… something. I’m not sure what. But whatever it is, I know I like it very very much.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 5, 2013 7:00 pm

      DAY 5: Your Favorite Set of Dice/Individual Die

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 5, 2013 7:08 pm

      DAY 6: Favorite Diety
      Yulia, the Goddess of Breastfeeding

      http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Yulia_%283.5e_Deity%29

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 5, 2013 9:02 pm

        I once had a Magical Negro Priestess of Yulia who used to yell, “SUCKLE ON THESE PUPPIES, CRACKA!” before she would cast a spell.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 6, 2013 7:18 pm

      DAY SEVEN: Favorite Edition
      TIE: 2e, for finally dumping Gygax, and 3.5e, for dumping Monte sooner than later.

  51. Dumb Dungeon permalink
    September 6, 2013 12:55 am

    Oh Raggi, all you do these days is Outrage for Dumm… Retards.
    http://lotfp.blogspot.com/2011/03/hot-naked-elf-chick-takes-it-in-face.html
    It’s all about the juvenile giggles and the, invertible, appearance of a “I rape elves on my blog”-guy. What a game you’ve created.
    And haven’t you got some scenarios to finish/publish?!?

    • September 6, 2013 2:14 am

      I like that the ‘explanation’ is a link to the Underdark Gazette, the hallowed pages of which I have not been ‘invited’ to peruse. Blogging by invitation only? Admission for those who can brandish the high-culture membership card and demonstrate themselves worthy of the secret mysteries by grinding thrice upon the door-jamb, each time with greater lewdness and more suggestive tweakings?

      Perhaps there’s a hint for Kent in here.

      • NUNYA permalink
        September 6, 2013 3:23 pm

        NO WAY PKEEB – TEH MEMBRESHIP AM ARE ONLY FUR US ELEET ROALPLAIRS!

        NO HOMERS ALLOWED!!1

        😛

        -NUNYA

        P.S. – YES KENT, HOMOS IS ALLOWED (BUT NOT YUO)

    • September 6, 2013 6:41 am

      He has a point, elf sex is a big draw for my blog. Of course, my elf sex posts are tastefully done and regard mutually consenting demi-humans.

    • Ritter permalink
      September 7, 2013 1:49 am

      I knew exactly what kind of “edgy,” puerile bullshit I was going to see the moment I read the link title. The fact that he has a “following” makes me lose faith not only in this hobby, but in humanity at large.

    • allodale permalink
      September 8, 2013 4:51 pm

      Dumb Dungeon: Oh Raggi, all you do these days is Outrage for Dumm… Retards.
      http://lotfp.blogspot.com/2011/03/hot-naked-elf-chick-takes-it-in-face.html

      That entry is from 2011, thus hardly counts as a ‘burn.’ Please try harder.

  52. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 7, 2013 6:40 pm

    I like how in the pic with the girl getting the axe facial treatment has some nice sensible body types. The axe lady looks like Rosie O’Donnel, and the elf looks like Anna Nicole Smith during her heavier phase. Note to Raggi: tell your artists to use Satine Pheonix’s body type as a model from 5 years ago the way Zak does, not how she looks now.

  53. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    September 8, 2013 6:15 am

    30 Days of D&D Continues

    DAY 8: Favorite Character You Have Played: Lady Wrinklequim

    DAY 9: Favorite Character You Haven’t Played: Bloodymage

  54. bad wolf permalink
    September 8, 2013 11:45 am

    Allright, who paid the fees for Blooeymage? Polyhedron Games is back online (no updates) while Blooey is presumably still focusing his efforts on Polyhedracon.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 8, 2013 6:12 pm

      But did you BUY SOMETHING to help him keep the lights on?

      Actually, Blooey’s site is back, but Ye Old Shoppe is down. 😦

  55. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 9, 2013 11:41 am

    You guys digging around in the good works of my man Blooey is just asking for your computer to be violently gang raped by foreign spambots. Clearly it is evident by now that everything Oh Captain My Captain touches, he destroys.

  56. September 9, 2013 2:23 pm

    The RPGPundit is back on online after being too cheap to pay to blog.
    http://therpgpundit.blogspot.com/

    Currently Smoking: A turkey drumstick

  57. Skarka the Hutt permalink
    September 9, 2013 9:27 pm

    This is some truly delusional shit right here:
    http://jonupsalsgarden.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-afas-goal-4-growing-asatru.html

    “Non-Asatruar actually knowing what a hammer means, and knowing that the person wearing it can be trusted to keep his word, and values family, and even though he may practice a different religion, it’s not something incomprehensible and weird.”

    I’m sorry, Anton, but your far right wing, Christian friends are never going to stop wanting to burn you at the stake.

    Besides that, how does this, in any way, resemble the actual Norse view of the world? And who wants to ride a frozen horse cock all the time?

    • David Howarth permalink
      September 10, 2013 3:34 am

      Meh. Asatruans (Asatrus, Ninnyhammers?) aren’t any more delusional than the two old ladies from the Jehovah’s Witnesses who came calling at my door yesterday morning. I politely said, “I’m not interested,” and gently but firmly closed the door in the face of the one standing about 1 inch from where it would have broken her nose (they are trained well at insinuating themselves into your home). The delusional part(s)? They come around every six months or so, and think I’m going to let them in eventually; also, soliciting in our area is illegal without a license, and eventually someone’s going to have them clapped in irons (okay, cited with a slap-on-the-wrist fine). Difference is, if some bald Anton LaVey-looking dude were to come to my door with hammer in hand, spewing nonsense about Thor being the one true Skydaddy, I’ll choose to interpret this as a threat and actually break his nose.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        September 11, 2013 11:25 am

        I got the Jehovah’s Witnesses to stop coming to my door when I asked them why the agency didn’t send the usual two strippers, then told them that they would do in a pinch.

    • David Howarth permalink
      September 10, 2013 3:46 am

      Also, just as an afterthought and to continue our education about extinct Norse religions, Thor was hardly the chief god of the pantheon. Nor was Odin, originally, despite what is generally thought today and what RJK and JW say in the Cyclopedia.

      A little etymology:

      The reconstructed proto-IE for “god” is *deiwos, and most of your chief lightning-throwing paternal figures, heading the main groups of polytheistic gods are variations on this word, which is most obviously related to Latin “deus” and English “deity”. Greek “Zeus”, Latin “Ju-piter” (the original Godfather), and Norse “Tiwas” (later to become Tyr). So, the one-handed justice god was their original head, with Odin (a foreign introduction from the steppes of Russia, whether Scythian, Hunnic, or just Gothic is unclear) usurping this position later on.

      Thor? A rain god, popular with farmers. In other words, the god the peasants worshiped in Scandinavia before more aggressive cults “proselytized” them. Always the most popular cult, though, since peasants are always the most numerous group.

    • Timothy permalink
      September 10, 2013 6:46 am

      “Schools, and scouting groups, and summer camps, with enough Heathen kids to make them really viable, and not just something done in someone’s garage for a few weekends during the summer.”

      This deranged fuck just gets creepier and creepier. The OSR will unite to beat up a cancer-stricken housewife in Australia, but they look the other way when one of their own wants to take their children into garages for a little “Astruar summer” and expanding the Folk. He publically brags that his religion is one of violence, and these dumbfucks still kiss his horse penis-filled ass.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 10, 2013 8:41 am

      Not a single black person in that group photo. I wonder why?

      • September 10, 2013 11:10 am

        I’m sure the “urban” will be tactfully discouraged. That black face would be like Idris Elba playing Heimðall in the Thor movie, Alonzo Greer as “the black irish” in Fox’s short-lived “Roar” TV show or cultus sabbati secrets passed on to people not in your bloodline: all blasphemy against the old gods. They may be able to start for the Celtics though.

        But seriously, “sumer is icumen” camps (probably subsidized with public dollars) to indoctrinate neighborhood kids, “big tents” and trusting anyone who “may practice a different religion” to keep his fucking wyrd are not part of the solution for authentic pagans. They are part of the fucking problem. He keeps running to these things whenever he gets an especially frisky pony up his æsir. It’s all LARPing with this guy.

      • September 10, 2013 12:20 pm

        Well done. I award you 7 points and an additional spin of the wheel.

      • September 11, 2013 6:29 am

        Plus carpetbagging transhumanists who were living in central Jersey and parts distant and now put up “Never Forget” towers photos tagged “history, islam” like they were there can fuck themselves. Oh wait.

        I’M WATCHIN’ YOU SKAAARKAAAAA

        Labels: history, siðr

  58. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 10, 2013 11:17 am

    Thor may not be the main god (or “gawd” as the Unlblown like to write in forums), but he does have a Hulk. And an Iron Man. Plus he fucks that Black Swan chick.

    If Jehonva’s witnesses ever came to my door all I would be able to talk about was Michael Jackson and how he and his family were JW’s, and how even as an adult he’d go out in disguise doing it like he was trick or treating or some shit. . How he made a public apology for doing Thriller because of his religion. After about 5 minutes they’d slam the door on MY face.

    • David Howarth permalink
      September 10, 2013 1:47 pm

      I’m proud to say that I am totally unfamiliar with Iron Man, have no idea who the Black Swan “chick” is, and still believe the Hulk’s true identity to be Bill Bixby.

    • David Howarth permalink
      September 10, 2013 1:49 pm

      Hell, Gygax was a JW. And I’d shut the door in his face just as quickly… after getting him to autograph my DMG, PHB, MM, and copy of the Holy Bible :-).

  59. Tyler Perry's Menzoberranzan permalink
    September 10, 2013 12:01 pm

    I like how Polyhedracon is $15 for a day pass and $48 for a weekend pass.

  60. Nonnonce permalink
    September 10, 2013 2:22 pm

    Just looked at Polyhedracon and it seems like the slowest train wreck imaginable. “I have no fucking clue what I’m doing but I’ve spent an age making a site with fuck all on it and I may die soon. And I want to host the thing in a place that by my own admission is a hot shit-box I hate spending any time in. Do try to come. ~vibes”

    Alt:
    “All this stuff still confuses the snot out of me, but I’m workin’ on it little bit by little bit. Anyway, I’ve done quite a lot of work yesterday and today on http://www.polyhedracon.com. There’s not really any content yet, but it’ll come, assuming I can survive long enough to get it done.

    Anyway, Arizona still sucks, but I’m doing my best to move forward here.”

  61. Nonnonce permalink
    September 10, 2013 2:29 pm

    “It’s going to take $$$$ to pull this off, so my energies are directed there for the nonce.”

    He does seem like nice guy. I am suspicious of his interest in catering to perverts, although it is an rpg con so scratch that

  62. Nonnonce permalink
    September 10, 2013 2:33 pm

    Oh, one last one on polyhedracarcrash. Can we run a pool on when the plug is pulled on this omnishambles mr ydis? I reckon we could call it on when the site is taken down.

    5 bucks on 25 December 2013

  63. Nonnonce permalink
    September 10, 2013 2:34 pm

    ~pubes

  64. Timothy permalink
    September 10, 2013 2:56 pm

    God damn. I was going to suggest that ydis apply to be guest of honor at Polyhedracon, or we all pretend to be Kent and apply and accept the honor on his behalf.

    But wouldn’t you know it, the slot has already been filled by Rick Loomis. ydis is way more famous than he is these days.

    http://www.polyhedracon.com/guest-of-honor

    Maybe he can run some play by post nuclear wars while there.

    Anyway, a very disappointing development. Maybe next year…

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      September 11, 2013 11:34 am

      He banned “masturbationx” and “sexshow” but “boutique sm” and “live show” made the cut. Oh, blooey!

    • bad wolf permalink
      September 11, 2013 12:09 pm

      “I am single and live with my sister and her four cats, cockatoo, and several guppies. I travel to a lot of game conventions around the world, and if you would like me to give you advice about running a game company, try dropping by my booth at one of the shows.”

      Rick Loomis, indeed the inspiration for a generation of BlooeyMages everywhere.

  65. unclecarbuncle permalink
    September 10, 2013 3:42 pm

    I AM TAKE ON NEW JOBAS MARKETS DIR FOR POLHEAD CON MAY 2015 NORTHEST AZ. LOOKI FOR ART MAN:Well, I’ve deleted my “Holy Symbols” post but I’m still in dire need of an artist. Would still like an investor for $1000 in one, two, four or five payments to become a member of Polyhedron Games LLC. The Ertian Chronichles is getting done, albeit slowly, but Beldany: The Fey Kingdom is available for purchase and I’ve finished four other chapters for publication awaiting maps. Lots of other products available from the website and RPGNow. I’m still broken and broke but things will be better as soon as I can get out of this accursed house.

  66. unclecarbuncle permalink
    September 10, 2013 3:46 pm

    ADVERT FROM PRESDENT BLOOMAGE:OK, I’ve answered some craigslist ads, thought I had a fellow but he flaked and that was without an investment. I’ve altered my criteria, with no financial investment required, just time and talent. Become a member of Polyhedron Games LLC for 19% of the profit, the authority to hire freelancers, head of the art “department” and a say in the direction of the company. If you’re interested, contact gameguru@polyhedrongames.com.

  67. unclecarbuncle permalink
    September 10, 2013 3:55 pm

    Well, I’ve banned two users, one because of titillating content, another from a fellow who knows a lot about domain management but it’s all in a foreign language.

    Please if you post on this board, post in English!

    • bad wolf permalink
      September 11, 2013 9:26 am

      I’m pretty sure the Francophone spammer “sexshow” was in reality OSR hero Bruce Heard. “L’etat c’est moi!”

  68. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 10, 2013 4:39 pm

    At first I think a lot of us were hoping Blooey would see our goofing as a wake up call that he was dangerously delusional. Flash forward several months later and I think a lot of us are like teenagers on a street corner, mouths agape and looking at the dripping wreckage of a metal twisting, head on car crash. We are inwardly confused and terrified, but outwardly we are trying to be macho and make nervous jokes because our asshole friends are present. The paramedics show up and we’re like “hey dude, you better hurry up and pork her before she gets cold!”

    If all the dipshits on the forums would speak up and confront the guy, give him a fucking intervention instead of being all “good for you! Keep up the good work! Keep us posted!” I’d like to think he’d wake up. But I’m pretty sure the poor sap lives on the Bizzarro world where it is always “opposite Tuesday.”

    • September 10, 2013 6:29 pm

      One guy tried on DF, I think it was the Anomalous Subsurface Environment guy. Gave it to him pretty straight in the middle of the “Arizona sucks!!!!” thread. BloodyDischarge didn’t even bat an eye, like water of a duck’s back. I’m catching a whiff of autism spectrum off the Polyhedracon website, maybe the needle pointing in the lower-mid-level range? Like he can pull off using public transit and manage correct change when they stick him behind the McRegister, but if the undies aren’t folded right or the DVR misses an episode of American Idol he’s gonna start slamming his head into a counter.

    • Cousin HurpErDerp permalink
      September 11, 2013 4:51 am

      Delusional is right….look at his org chart: http://www.polyhedracon.com/organization

      • Cousin HurpErDerp permalink
        September 11, 2013 4:53 am

        …and holy shit that is one crappy looking website.

      • Jack permalink
        September 11, 2013 6:18 am

        For the love of everything holy, he should not be writing his own copy:

        “Prescott is a historic mining and cattle town with many original our replica buildings in its architecture. It boasts many museums, a jillion specialty shops, lots of cozy and quaint or loud and boisterous bars and restaraunts and great scenery. Polyhedracon has listed some attractions here for you if you care to explore the city.”

        “Many original our replica buildings” you say? How are those buildings “in its architecture”? Are there buildings inside of buildings like some sort of fucked up Russian nesting doll?

        A jillion specialty shops? Is this town infinitely large?

        What are “restaraunts”?

      • September 11, 2013 6:21 am

        What’s up with the background? I get the light blue, hex grid cavern maps but what is that cloudy black shit?

      • September 11, 2013 6:33 am

        I think restaraunts are star-shaped rest stops for maiden aunts who require respite from the oppressive heat.

      • Jack permalink
        September 11, 2013 7:48 am

        I’m assuming the cloudy black stuff is a visualization of the despair you’d feel if you went to this. It’s a visual caveat emptor.

  69. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    September 11, 2013 7:45 am

    For Bloodymage:

    Dream and Dream Big.

    Dare to Dream, and Dare to Dream Big.

    You are a Child of the Universe. You have a RIGHT to be here! And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

    So Dream. Dream for those of us who can’t. Or those of us who won’t.

    Dream.

  70. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    September 11, 2013 10:57 am

    I think the “Deteriorata” by Nat Lampoon back in the day (if above embed doesn’t work go youtube it, Clyde) is more appro-pro.

    “You are a fluke of the Universe. You have no right to be here. And whether you belive it or no, the universe, is laughing behind your back.”

    Yo, that was some old school Doctor Demento, bitch!

  71. September 11, 2013 11:20 am

    There are certain items we need for the con and other items we would appreciate in donations. I’ll add to this list as things occur to me but to start off with, 6-8 two-way radios would be indispensable and three chess sets and timer are required for the chess tourney. As for donations, stationary and office supplies will certainly be required.

    Death to all PCs!

  72. unclecarbuncle permalink
    September 11, 2013 1:06 pm

    PRESDENT POLHEAD GAMES BLOOYMAGI http://www.boston-baden.com/hazel/Pix/p.cgi?2006+4043-02+ok469v.jpg+4043

  73. unclecarbuncle permalink
    September 11, 2013 1:32 pm

    WELL WE AT POLHEAD BOARD O DIRECTERS HAV HADA LOTA INQEERIS SO I NEEDEST TO SAY AS MARKET DIRECTER: 1 NO WE WON’T DO TH $1000 IN 3 INSTALMINTS SO STOP ASKI 2. TH ADVENTURE ‘STINK IN GRANOLA’ NO PLANS TO DOA HARDCOvER. ALSOS OUR PRESDENT BLOOYMAGI NEEDS A RIDE tO POLLHEAD CON IN 5/15 IF U HAVE A CAR CONTACT AT http://www.linkedin.com/pub/steve-willett/54/ba2/5b4
    STILL LOOKI FOR ART MAN, A COUNT ANT, AND A CO DRIVER W LISENSE

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