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The fighter says, “I press her down to the sand. I’m very careful not to push to [sic] hard, not to hurry. I want her to understand that this is not sex, this is me caring for her.”

August 22, 2013

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. On Planet CreepShow (pop. Tao of Asplexis), a hundred words is worth a thousand nightmares. Here ya go, Sexy Lexi — have some hits:

SEXYTIME ROLEPLAY starring Alexis D. Smolensk (author of critically disclaimed novel Pete’s Garage)

129 Comments leave one →
  1. unclecarbuncle permalink
    August 22, 2013 2:44 pm

    SMELL LIKE MI FARTS HERE

  2. August 22, 2013 3:20 pm

    Dear YDIS:

    It happened! A nerd used the word “baffling” in a blog post about sex and dungeons n dragons! I thought you guys were just making it up — you know, exaggerated locker room stories — but then I met Alexis. She was an auburn-haired beauty with the sweetest come-hither bedroom blue eyes, and that red bathrobe she wore around campus left all the best parts to the imagination, if you know what I mean.

    She was the moody, dangerous Pirate Captain and I was I don’t know, the fucking Chris Elliott character. She fought me. Maybe it was the ouzo gone to my head or something — I’m usually more of a spiced rum guy — but I wouldn’t take no for an answer. She probably had 50 pounds on me and I was a hit point down but I managed to wrestle her to the sand and kissed her hard until she gave in. This was not sex. This was me making her understand. This was me caring for her.

    The bottle of ouzo rolled to the sand, coating our bodies with its pungent anise-flavored nectar, getting in her hair and making my chest muscles gleam with the effort of making her understand. So I girded on my sword. She girded on hers. Sweet ass-to-ass followed.

    It is baffling to me how anyone who lived through Stonewall (!) could not tear up at my story. I am baffled. The living fuck is baffled out of me. If I didn’t have a hurt back and wasn’t so far across the table I’d punch you in the face for suggesting otherwise. And I’m looking forward to next semester when we have the beach all to ourselves!

    S.R.
    Moline Illinois

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      August 22, 2013 5:02 pm

      Don’t you mean ass to mouth?

    • dfljaoief permalink
      August 22, 2013 5:49 pm

      Slow-clap. Well done sir.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 22, 2013 5:53 pm

      Yes, well done, Schiz! And bonus points for the reference to Chris Elliot and Cabin Boy.

    • Timothy permalink
      August 23, 2013 6:20 am

      Schiz shines again…

  3. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 22, 2013 5:33 pm

    I just want to take a moment to point something out: that fat tranny pseudointellectual condescending blowhard vanity press published author Alexis who considers everyone intellectually beneath her fat ass (as if Canadians could be intellectuals) doesn’t know the difference between ‘to’ and ‘too’. YDIS, you may wish to add a “sic” notation to the quote above as we have a reputation for academic excellence here that we should endeavor to uphold.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 22, 2013 5:42 pm

      Two, to, too – I know, Alexis, those words are tricky.

    • August 22, 2013 7:18 pm

      Done.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 23, 2013 5:11 am

      Alexis has now edited his glaring, egregious mistake, but the irreparable damage to his reputation in the Canadian vanity press circles has been done.

    • Skarka the Hutt permalink
      August 23, 2013 8:02 pm

      Holy fuck! Rape as punishment? I cannot even imagine a situation where that is appropriate. I am not even sure why I call myself a gamer anymore. It seems like its time to just give this hobby over completely to the social retards.

    • NUNYA permalink
      August 29, 2013 10:56 am

      YES ARS-HOLE’S SPINCTRE!!!1 I AM ARE A-GREED! WE MUST DEFENCE PROOPER GRAMMER FRUM BAD-WRITE GUYZ LIKE ALEX AND BOBBI CONLY!

      :p

      -NUNYA

  4. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 22, 2013 5:37 pm

    IT COUNTS THE HEXES ON THE MAP OR ALL OVER YOUR FACE I SHALL HAVE TO FAP!

  5. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    August 22, 2013 6:04 pm

    I want her to understand that this is not sex, this is me caring for her.

    Remind me not to hire him as a babysitter.

    • Ef-You Manchu permalink
      August 23, 2013 10:13 am

      LOL that was amazing!

    • NUNYA permalink
      August 29, 2013 11:41 am

      NO NOT A BABEESHITTER TAHT WOOD BE A WAISTINGS!!1 ALEX JEAN-YOUS GUY NEED HIM TO WRITE TAHT STUFF FFOR HARLOTT-QUINN LOVEBOOK PEEPLE!!1

      CEREALSLY! I CRIED. THEN I FAPPED, THEN I CRIED SUM MOAR. POOR PIRAT QUEEN GIRL, ONLY RAPELOVER FITER-GUY TRULY UNNERSTANDS YEW!
      :p

      -NUNYA

  6. Over-shoulder Boulder Beholder permalink
    August 22, 2013 8:47 pm

    His blog is a black hole. I don’t want to go there, but the sheer-awfulness drags me over the event horizon every time.

  7. Jumpin' Jizmak Jehovah permalink
    August 22, 2013 9:04 pm

    Not enough faces and palms to go ’round.

  8. August 22, 2013 10:26 pm

    Don’t you recognize this? This is just a plagiarized version of the introduction essay for that AD&D 2nd edition sourcebook: The Complete Rapist’s Handbook

  9. Kilgore Trout permalink
    August 23, 2013 1:06 am

    The humanity!

  10. Timothy permalink
    August 23, 2013 6:19 am

    Mother fucker, the blOwSR is in its self mockery phase, now. That was some of the most pathetic junior high prose I have seen since…junior high. Complete with grammatical indifference. And Alex thinks he is smart? The proof is out there, now, L’il Lexi.

    “Sex in D&D” with Phil and Dixie was more engaging than this tripe.

    I am going to roll 2d6 to see if I ever go by his pussy (snicker) blog again.

    And of course it gives his followers achance to confess:

    “Ynas Midgard said…
    Once my Dragon Age character, a rogue having a strict although unusual moral code, raped a defeated elven woman; it was part of punishing her, for they attacked us without provocation, captured 3-4 of our henchmen, and heavily tortured them.”

    God Damn. More rape fantasy – what the fuck is it with these retarded man-children? “This one time, at band camp, I raped an elf! Let me tell you all about it!”

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 23, 2013 7:51 am

      As Dorothy Parker was once overheard saying to the Algonquin Round Table, “Li’l Lexi? That tranny whale is TOO stupid TO even write like a TWO year old!”

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      August 23, 2013 10:48 am

      From the same charmer: Personally, the sexiest part we had in D&D was sleeping with prostitutes, either for fun or for gathering information (and also having fun).

      Who says romance is dead?

      • Ef-You Manchu permalink
        August 23, 2013 10:56 am

        I doth believe the great archmage Elminster did scribe a tome entitled “Sleeping with Prostitutes for Fun and Information.”

  11. Timothy permalink
    August 23, 2013 7:30 am

    With a tip of the helm to the KKK Alehouse, we have found the perfect game for Sexy Lexi to pursue his mature visions of unrepressed sex:

    http://www.story-games.com/forums/discussion/18366/monsterhearts-serious-emotional-bleed-trigger-warning/p1

    I am sure this will meet his exalted I-Met-My-Partner-In-An-Internet-Porn-Chatroom standards.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 23, 2013 7:44 am

      Best line in that: “Why fuck him of course!”

      What is with gamers today? From acting out their rape fantasies to wanting to play Japanese middle school girls wearing panties and getting fucked by octopus tentacles, RPGs have evolved from ‘kill monsters and take their stuff’ into something creepy and nasty.

      • knunclefucklenucker permalink
        August 23, 2013 8:05 am

        I’m not so sure that weird sexual roleplay shit hasn’t been going on since 1974, AS.

  12. August 23, 2013 8:50 am

    Doesn’t Asplexi talk about taking the bus?!?!?

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 23, 2013 11:05 am

      I think that was Kent.

  13. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 23, 2013 10:13 am

    This is Sexy Lexi at her pre-op tranny best, letting her hair down and getting out of the comfort zone!

    • Ef-You Manchu permalink
      August 23, 2013 10:19 am

      Oooh, holy shit, alright!!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 23, 2013 10:20 am

      When you watch the above, turn down the volume on Alexis and listen to this instead for the full effect:

    • Ef-You Manchu permalink
      August 23, 2013 10:29 am

      Wow, the releasing of the flowing locks was almost too much for me. Luckily, I succeeded on my “moral turpitude” save.

  14. Ef-You Manchu permalink
    August 23, 2013 10:18 am

    I don’t understand why some gamer-tards can’t just fucking play RPGs and be done with it. There has to be all this sort of bullshit that overcomplicates shit. Just have a good time, fucktards! Stop overanalyzing the passtime!! If you want to take something seriously, go cure fucking dick cancer or something worthwhile. Don’t make your hobby this big of a deal! I understand that you think the only thing you have of meaning in your life is RPGs, but come on!

  15. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    August 23, 2013 10:51 am

    Alexis Smolensk said…
    Kind of ‘rapey,’ huh?
    Lust is a kind of … mystery for you, isn’t it?

    Consent is a kind of… mystery for you, isn’t it?

  16. Francie permalink
    August 23, 2013 5:58 pm

    Urghh. What a creepy fucker. Also, that is the funniest thing I’ve read ever. Thanks YDIS

  17. Francie permalink
    August 23, 2013 6:04 pm

    “This continues to astound me, really … but then matters of sex always do.”

    Yip. No kidding. Fat greasy butterball of odd is baffled by the idea of sex. Sherlock? SHERLOCK!!??? WHERE THEN FUCK ARE YOU?

  18. Skarka the Hutt permalink
    August 23, 2013 8:05 pm

    “So, when you’re killing a monster in my world, you’re killing …me?”

    If only that were true, Alexis. If only that were true.

  19. Skarka the Hutt permalink
    August 23, 2013 8:10 pm

    “James C. said…
    Isn’t all sex involving males rape nowadays?”

    No, but I am not sure you would know that, considering most women (or men) won’t fuck creepy gamer guys.

  20. Zarathustra permalink
    August 24, 2013 6:42 am

    Holy shit, Alexis is just going off the deep end and abusing the fuck out of anyone who disagrees. It’s like a Zac spaz attack but Alexis sets aside the mincing passive agressive, art school routine of Zac and just goes full on abuse.

    “The fact that YES, your reasons “go for anyone” is exactly the fucking reason no one gives a shit about your feelings, or ever did.”

    Zacs attacks always reminded me of when Mr Burns gave Smithers the “thrashing of a lifetime”, but old Alexis has a blunt charm when he gets fired up.

    Are his comments sections always like that?

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      August 24, 2013 11:39 am

      Fatty fags get so catty when they get called out on the carpet.

  21. Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
    August 24, 2013 10:59 am

    First time I have perused the Tao…wow. Alexis seems to think it is a sin to bring any “conditional expectations” to his game table. (Why the need for the “conditional”?) God forbid any of us should have any expectation of behavior that somewhat follows social norms, especially while playing D&D. Sex is a part of my campaign, but not a big one as my players and I have no interest in fucking each other. Sorry Alexis, for most folks talking about performing violent acts doesn’t count as performing violence, but detailed role-playing of sexual/romantic encounters does count as a sexual/romantic activity–and most folks have little interest in doing that around the gaming table.

    BTW, keep on posting those videos of chunky monkey DMs, YDISers! They help me keep motivated to lose weight. And be less of a creepy bastard.

  22. Mordekanian's Magnificient Man Pussy permalink
    August 25, 2013 8:29 am

    ….

    Well, the only thing not BtB is that he hand waved the grappling rules. Whenever dudes PC’s in my campaign get captured (captured when dropped to zero HP…they don’t die). I make sure to always slowly describe the love that the ogre, aboleth, EHP, or type II demon shares with them. Especially if the player is catholic, I really like to describe the EHP.

    If anything, the players really bring their A-game to surviving my dungeon crawls.

    • Timothy permalink
      August 25, 2013 9:19 am

      I’d be more interested in Lexi’s tender write-up of an ouzo-fueled aboleth seduction than the commonplace human crap.

      • Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
        August 25, 2013 9:49 am

        “The gentle tickling of a rubbery tentacle at your nether orifice lets you know this isn’t anal rape, but some high quality lovin’ from your fishy overlord.”

  23. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    August 25, 2013 11:07 am

    August Gentleman Gamer and KKK&A alumni AxeMental weights in on sexual roleplaying in the OSR hobby:
    http://knights-n-knaves.com/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=11658

    Check it out for some gripping, thought provoking debate.
    As an aside, Alexis should probably give his side of the story. I think Alexis and Kellri would make a nice couple.

    • Skarka the Hutt permalink
      August 25, 2013 8:12 pm

      I have often wondered if these people have a different version of 1e than I do. Sure, you can argue that 1e is not an RPG the way a modern game might be, but they like to attribute all sorts of shit to Gygax.

    • Skarka the Hutt permalink
      August 25, 2013 8:33 pm

      My personal favorite is blaming computer games for creepy players. It seems computer games get blamed for everything, including the inability to roleplay or the act of roleplaying. It’s like the OSR’s go to source of everything that is wrong with the world. Curse those video games! How dare computers grow past the good old days of Tandy?

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        August 26, 2013 12:23 am

        Speaking of grumpy grognards….
        http://knights-n-knaves.com/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=11658

        Here’s the usual (only) posters of KKK&A having an insightful discussion of Facebook and G+ in just such manner that you spoke of Skarka. Could it be that most of these washed up fucks are so hostile about speaking to anyone outside of the safe confines of their echo chamber because they can’t moderate/ban a dissenting opinion? One would think G+ circlejerks are right up their alley!

        FUCK!

      • Jack permalink
        August 26, 2013 6:01 am

        “Grrr, video games!” and “Bah, anime!” are the secret passwords into the OSR clubhouse. Now you know, and can enter, but why would you?

      • Skarka the Hutt permalink
        August 28, 2013 10:12 am

        Does the word 3tard get me anything special? Such a classic insult.

  24. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    August 26, 2013 12:26 am

    Oops! A little too much ouzo. Here’s the right link for the great and wise of KKK&A Dorkhouse about facebook and G+ circles!
    http://knights-n-knaves.com/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=11643

    • Skarka the Hutt permalink
      August 28, 2013 10:27 am

      Holy crap. It’s like a black hole of asshattery.

      I actually kind of hate that Grodog is a moderators over there. Despite his connections with Lord of the Green Douches, I always liked the guy. Perhaps I am being naive and he is really something of an asshole. But I never got that impression.

  25. August 26, 2013 7:01 am

    It’s been three weeks since the polyhedron games domain name expired. Is it time for another APB for BloodyMage?

    • SparkleMotion permalink
      August 26, 2013 7:27 am

      I honestly was thinking of registering it and squatting on it for a year to let dinkledumbass know that they need to take care of their shit.

      Then again I realized I could spend the $13.99 on Sonny’s all you can eat Ribs for lunch with Sweet sauce.

      I chose wisely…

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 26, 2013 9:06 am

      Hey Dragon’s Farters – time for another bed check on your illustrious moderator Blooeymage!

  26. Timothy permalink
    August 26, 2013 9:32 am

    The most disapointing thing thing about Lexi’s post is the anti-climactic “roll 2d6; 7+ means she puts out.” From the unappreciated genius that brought us the Random Events in Ye Olde Cobbler’s Shoppe table and the Spring Weather Determination table for Lesser Craotia, that is just unfulfilling.

    So, inspired by the DowJones of D&D:

    Roll 1d12:

    1. No, and she is the daughter of Pele. Roll 1d6:1-3: Pele the Goddess busts your ass with a 12d6 Fireball; 4-6 Pele the God lights you up with a 15d6 soccer ball; thus freeing the French peoples from the oppression of Nazi soccer displays.
    2. Not tonight, headache.
    3. Help, police!
    4. Is it in, yet?
    5. Maybe it’s the Ouzo talking, but…no.
    6. Maybe it’s the Ouzo talking, but…OK.
    7. Yes, but she has Dysenteric Syphlis. Hope it was worth it.
    8. Yes, but the strap-on attachment to her hook hand leaves you in pain for a while: -2 hexes to movement for 2 weeks.
    9. Yes, but she is a stalker – 33% chance daily to notice a spyglass from rooftop, thicket, reeds, sand dune, etc; upon investigating only find the smell of Ouzo.
    10. I’m pregnant, you’re the father, and I’m going to kill all 3 of us!
    11. Nothing – it was all a jaeger-meister influenced dream.
    12. Roll twice on table above.

    • August 26, 2013 5:56 pm

      I still think she should get a Saving Throw vs Rod, Staff or Wand.

  27. unclecarbuncle permalink
    August 26, 2013 9:49 am

    CUM TO POLLYHEAD CON http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=62724 GETA BUS TICKET CHEEP

  28. unclecarbuncle permalink
    August 26, 2013 9:58 am

    ALL SO LOOKI FOR CAPTITAL INVESTERS IN TH CON $1000 EACHES

  29. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 26, 2013 11:09 am

    Speaking of all things rapey, did anyone get a final rape tally count for that friend of MalaDicta’s over at Big Purple Dildo? Her friend allegedly* gets raped, and raped repeatedly by multiple assailants, at every single gaming convention she attends, and pretty much every time she steps out of the house, and I was just curious how many times she was raped at GenCon 2013?

    *I can say “allegedly here unlike at Big Purple Dildo because the mod squad has deemed any accusation of rape against a big bad man is UNCONDITIONALLY TRUE!

    • SparkleMotion permalink
      August 26, 2013 11:33 am

      Link to said post?

      I really want to meet this woman. She has a bright future in gangbang gloryhole videos with people in raccoon suits.

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        August 26, 2013 3:47 pm

        ~vibes

      • August 26, 2013 3:58 pm

        Vibes 😦

      • August 26, 2013 4:09 pm

        What is the emoticon for double or even triple vibes? I will need a rape tally, I need to supply that many vibes +1.

      • August 26, 2013 4:50 pm

        If Maladicta was getting 240 rape threats a day back then wouldn’t that have exhausted the ENTIRE population of gamers in like a week tops? I’d leven now like some solid information as to which convention it was that had the entire staff laffing off such a matter. Were they heading for Ropecon and accidentally landed at Rapecon?
        I’m just saying this as any female that found herself feeling uncomfortable at a convention I was involved with by some fatbeard mouth breather would find said fat beard bounced onto the fucking curb I can’t imagine any other con staff doing any different.

    • Kilgore Trout permalink
      August 26, 2013 7:44 pm

      Maybe it’s the definition of rape that MalaDicta is struggling with? Maybe rape is every time they feel the dirty touch of the Male Gaze?

      On the other hand my eyeballs feel raped every time they visit YDIS…

      Oh and Vibes and shit.

      • SparkleMotion permalink
        August 27, 2013 10:04 am

        Quote Originally Posted by MalaDicta View Post
        Okay, you know what? Fuck this.

        My friend was assaulted last night. It wasn’t the first time this has happened. Hell, it wasn’t the fifth. It wasn’t even the first time it happened this year. She got away, but she’s shaken, and scared, and having flashbacks to all the other times.

        The man who assaulted her is a member of the geek community. The guy before that was too – pretty high standing in the local scene. And the guy before that. And the guy before that. This is a problem. The second time I went to a local convention, another nerd stalked and raped me. For months. When I finally got over that and went to another convention, another nerd raped me. When I tried to report it, the whole convention treated it like a joke.

        And now, when I try to do something to stem the rampant misogyny that provides an environment in which sexual assaults are so sickeningly normal, I get rape threats non-stop. I haven’t slept in a week, because I am waking up every hour and having to clear rape threats out of my inbox. I am averaging between ten and twenty-five an hour. That is a minimum of two-hundred forty rape threats per day on a slow day. I cannot physically stay on the phone with the police long enough to report them all.

        So fine. I’m taking down the petition. Because I care about my friend and I want to be there for her, and I don’t want to have to worry about some sick fuck attacking her to intimidate me. Because she’s had enough pain in her life already.

        You want to talk about silencing? This is what silencing looks like.

        >>>This looks like a load of shit. Raped for months? Seriously? Was she dating them? Kidnapped out of Cleveland? Did she goto the police?

        She’s waking up every hour to clear out an Inbox because all those rape emails will build up to a bigger Rape E-mail and then leap out of the monitor and MonsterRape someone ala The Ring!

        If anyone can read her rant with a straight face, not be skeptical at all, and bobblehead nod that this is 100% TRUFF you need to get your brain checked at the door to this site.

        As much of a bastard that I am I think that rapists are cowards and those that commit it should be punished harshly. I also think that women who cry “RAPE!” like they would cry “WHITE SALE!” at JCP deserve to be punished as well for turning men into pariahs.

        There is a story here and the truth is buried in lots of lies.

  30. Dumb Dungeon permalink
    August 26, 2013 1:05 pm

    Oh Raggi. You’re not only trying to put together the most confusing and badly arranged fundy campaign ever, you’re also admitting, that your wife is THIS close to kicking ya out
    http://www.lotfp.com/RPG/discussion/post/3600/
    “My wife puts up with a lot of crap to allow LotFP to function, from going without rent for months at a time (while watching thousands of euros come and go for business concerns), the living room being turned into a warehouse for weeks once or twice a year and being littered with packing supplies year-round, the “Leave me alone I’m writing!” shenanigans, “Help me get this load to the post office?”, and in general dealing with the stress of being married to someone running a small business in a very small and weird industry.

    This crowdfunding campaign is not designed to generate profit in and of itself (of course the hope is the Ref book will go on afterwards to be a wildly successful and profitable book!), but if you vote for this stretch goal, Maria gets her share of the rent immediately after the campaign ends, not three months after the Ref book goes to press.

    Paying rent to your wife? That about as cuckold as it comes… or actually, being scolded for not paying the rent, by your wife, probably tops it. And yeah, it can probably be a bit stressful, being married to someone who dodges getting a job by roleplay-pretending to run a business.

    • August 26, 2013 4:40 pm

      I can’t imagine Raggy the Last pulling this convoluted mess of a crowd source off. Wanting money for a product ONLY the folks that suck the last drip of semen of his cock wants in the first place coupled with paying your own shipping AND paying his fucking wife to put up with his bullshit. Raggy must have exhausted the last of his hash stash to placate his wife and shit be getting real at the Ms. Raggy household.

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        August 26, 2013 5:41 pm

        ~vibes to Mrs. Raggi.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        August 26, 2013 8:19 pm

        +1

    • Ritter permalink
      August 26, 2013 11:59 pm

      Whine, whine, whine.

      If he wanted to run a successful pen-and-paper RPG business (which a pointless endeavor, given that this hobby is gradually dying out), maybe he should’ve made something with more widespread appeal that the reasonably well-adjusted would want to buy. Instead, he makes a niche product in an already niche industry with offputting content and then expects it to take off as though it were a real business.

      All this to publish a product named after some internet chick he is still obsessed with; reminders of whom are all over the apartment for his wife to see constantly. If she is real (and I’m not so sure this supposed wife is anything other than a fiction), she must have “low self-esteem gamer wife syndrome.”

      I especially loved the interview in which he showed how much respect he has for his long suffering wife by mentioning how he moved to Finland because chicks are easy.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        August 27, 2013 3:22 am

        Probably would be funny (not in a ha ha way but a quirky ‘shit is fucked up way’) if it turns out Fatty Faggi is lying about having a real life and has been making her up like some imaginary friend. Would really cap off this year in the OSR. First James, then ZakPrincess hit the wall and looks like Raggi is about to join them. I guess that leaves ol’ Gayhawk Grogturd left to go and make a fool of himself…wait, nevermind. He’s already gone and done that.

        FUCK!

      • Frozen Horse Penis Black Magic permalink
        August 27, 2013 6:20 am

        Mr. Manboobs, NEVER FORGET!

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        August 27, 2013 1:05 pm

        GAH! What was Odin thinking?!

  31. Shit's Excrement permalink
    August 27, 2013 5:08 am

    ***Attention – Important***

    http://knights-n-knaves.com/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=11675

  32. Shit's Excrement permalink
    August 27, 2013 5:14 am

    ***Self-help book aficionados & Psychologists of the Third Rank, Attend***

    http://knights-n-knaves.com/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=11632

  33. Shit's Excrement permalink
    August 27, 2013 5:53 am

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=27573&page=4

    My take on Women compared to Men as fighters:

    Man fights Man is SERIOUS

    Woman fights Man is FOREPLAY

    Woman fights Woman is DANCING

    • Sykirobme permalink
      August 27, 2013 7:37 am

      “I’ve fought in SCA tourneys!”

      “Well, I’ve been in real street fights!”

      “Oh, yeah? I’ve been shot at!”

      “Fuck you, I’ve been in combat!”

      And no, Sacrosanct, she will not sleep with you as a result of this thread.

      My fucking god, what a bunch of social idjits.

    • Frozen Horse Penis Black Magic permalink
      August 27, 2013 9:48 am

      Posted by some stud named Brad:

      “I’ll also point out my friend’s cousin was on the USA Olympic Taekwondo team and was talking shit to me, even though I outweighed her by over 100 pounds. I offered a game of “hit for hit”, she hit me first, it hurt, I blasted her with a right cross that sent her flying five feet. Her training level was easily 10x my own, but could not make up for pure brute force. That’s life.”

      Despite the absence of a name of the member of the Olympic team, or any other corroborating evidence at all, I am sure this is unvarnished truth. Such studs are usually proud of the viloence they do against women, and they would not equivocate. And we also know what he did after he knocked her to the ground.

      “This is not me beating the shit out of you and having my way, this is me caring for you. And creating a post for my worshippers at rpgshite.”

      Brad is a hero to the Unblown everywhere.

      • August 28, 2013 6:32 am

        Yeah, well, my cousin’s roommate’s friend was was a girl NINJA! And she was giving me shit so we had a throwdown. After I dodged the shotgun blast, I gave her an uppercut to the lunar plexus. She sailed 8 ft into the air and her head exploded. That’s life.

      • NUNYA permalink
        August 29, 2013 11:18 am

        I AM ARE TO HOPE I KIN RAZE MY SON TO WON DAY BE A REEL MAN LIKE A BRAD-GUY WIMMEN-BEETER!!!1

        :p

        -NUNYA

    • Shit's Excrement permalink
      August 27, 2013 9:56 am

      Yeah but even more amusing than Brad’s heroics is the fact that disgusting looking feminists tell young girls in college that there is no difference between the sexes and so they can beat men in fist fights if they want to, unless there has been a conspiracy behind the scenes concerning fist fights, in which case they should complain about it in every conversation they ever have until there is justice for women’s fists.

      • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
        August 28, 2013 3:24 pm

        …and her head exploded. That’s life.

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      August 27, 2013 10:10 am

      Kent fights Man is SERIOUS FOREPLAY.

    • Shit's Excrement permalink
      August 27, 2013 11:32 am

      Woman fights Dildatory Interlude is FAIR

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        August 27, 2013 3:54 pm

        Kent, if you’re asking if I’d rather wrestle a woman than a man, the answer is “Yes.”

        Kent fights K&KA is SAD.

    • Shit's Excrement permalink
      August 27, 2013 11:39 am

      Zak Smith fights Alice is ART

      http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.ie/2013/07/more-alice-art.html?zx=19f401ca82cf887f

  34. Shit's Excrement permalink
    August 27, 2013 9:48 am

    Would you lot get together and chip in ‘cos I need $50 to buy this map to hang on my wall:

    http://fineartamerica.com/featured/the-shadowed-keep-frozen-cemetery-james-kramer.html

    • August 27, 2013 10:04 am

      That’s some masterful cartography right there. I like how the hexagon has a “diameter.”

    • SparkleMotion permalink
      August 27, 2013 10:07 am

      Can I crap on lined paper and mail it to you after eating a corn cob? Twould be cheaper.

  35. Shit's Excrement permalink
    August 27, 2013 11:45 am

    The Knights & Knaves Alehouse — ***We Harvest Tumbleweed for Westerns and Food***

    http://knights-n-knaves.com/phpbb3/index.php

  36. Shit's Excrement permalink
    August 27, 2013 11:55 am

    The Knights & Knaves Alehouse — ***A Sanctuary for Cranky Village Idiots sacked from their Respective Villages***

    http://knights-n-knaves.com/phpbb3/index.php

  37. Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
    August 27, 2013 4:41 pm

    Shit’s excrement got pumped and dumped by his KKKA fatbeard boyfriends, now he’s crying about it here…. Yawn.

  38. Shit's Excrement permalink
    August 27, 2013 4:46 pm

    I’ve had my fun and that’s all that matters.

  39. Frozen Horse Penis Black Magic permalink
    August 28, 2013 6:19 am

    Faggi has a new post up where he shows us an illustration of what his fantasy looks like.

    http://lotfp.blogspot.com/?zx=af945a1655a94faa

    Cannabalism, of course. In case you hadn’t noticed from the shit he throws against the wall that his syncophants fall before in adulation.

    Yawn.

    He reminds me of that Cyrus slut trying to get that George Michael clone to notice her butt the other night.

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      August 28, 2013 6:55 am

      It’s notable that Raggi’s vision of what fantasy is involves eating.

      • Skarka the Hutt permalink
        August 28, 2013 10:00 am

        Are we certain he hasn’t eaten his wife? Perhaps that is what has happened to that girl he stalked.

  40. Dumb Dungeon permalink
    August 28, 2013 7:10 am

    And we have a picture of Raggis latest attempt to ’cause outrage. Yes, it’s a cunt faced tentacle monster charm-monster.blogspot.com/2013/08/my-lotfp-kickstarter-package-arrived.html

    Best bit is in the comments, where Raggi tells all about, how his wife hates that picture. Really? How surprising!
    I imagine her going something like this: You spend the rent money to have some guy draw… that!?!

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      August 28, 2013 7:43 am

      I like all the dudes in the comments who are all “I didn’t notice what was different until I put them side-by-side.” In other words, these guys don’t see a lot of pussy to know one when they see one.

      • Skarka the Hutt permalink
        August 28, 2013 10:06 am

        Even more disturbing, they couldn’t tell the difference between a big sloppy vagina and a fanged mouth. That is some fucked up Freudian shit right there.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 28, 2013 1:16 pm

        Raggi shows the unblown masses of the OSR a pussy, but they have no idea what it is having never seen one up close and personal. I somehow feel vindicated in my participation here at YDIS now.

    • August 28, 2013 9:57 am

      That unbleached chin weasel is especially brave on “someone who has recently gone through the process of childbirth.” A lot of post-partum women are especially sensitive about their appearance, are they still feminine, sexy, etc. Plus hormone swings.

    • "Grim" Jim Decapus permalink
      August 28, 2013 10:15 am

      I also lol’d at this part: “I’m not sure, but I suspect that Raggi may have put some sort of curse on these dice because the Dead Signs seem to come up way too often.”

      Because it couldn’t *possibly* be that he just sourced the cheapest dice he could find and that they’re inaccurate, lop-sided pieces of shit?

  41. Recovering Retard permalink
    August 28, 2013 12:35 pm

    It’s no Stephan Poag – I apologize.

    • Recovering Retard permalink
      August 28, 2013 12:43 pm

      If Mr. YDIS wants to fly this over his blog, that would be fine and dandy. I hate these cocksuckers. If not, maybe Raggi would be willing to auction one of his spooge socks – I hear his wife needs the back rent…

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 28, 2013 1:11 pm

      Now that is BRILLIANT! And you have far more talent than a certain Yale School of Art grad we all love to loathe.

    • August 28, 2013 1:14 pm

      omg

    • Hitler's Clitoris Allsorts permalink
      August 28, 2013 2:10 pm

      ‘Tis funny.

      Is that ydis on the right?

    • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
      August 28, 2013 3:31 pm

      It absolutely must be run up the flagpole and saluted!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 28, 2013 3:32 pm

      I’d love to see your take on Alexis, Bloodymage and Grim Jim Desborough. And also Kent (and don’t forget his talking rectum!)

      • faserfag permalink
        August 28, 2013 4:01 pm

        Here’s Kent interacting with normal people:

    • August 28, 2013 3:40 pm

      I… I… think I just felt an emotion!

    • Fatty McNeckbeard permalink
      August 28, 2013 4:54 pm

      Beyond amazing. That’s some Mort Drucker shit.

  42. unclecarbuncle permalink
    August 28, 2013 2:28 pm

    LAMNENTATONS OF FLAMING PRINCES LOOKI FUCK STOOPID NOON CARE NOONE READ

  43. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 28, 2013 4:04 pm

    So, what’s it going to take to get a YDIS presence at Polyhedracon (Northern Arizona)? Naturally, we’ll need Recovering Retard’s artwork blown up as a banner.

    http://www.polyhedracon.com

    “I just don’t want to turn it into a Wizards of the Coast fest!”

    Blooey’s right about that. Having people want to actually go is the LAST thing we want!

    I was going to suggest FATAL or Carcosa, but then I saw this:

  44. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 28, 2013 4:06 pm

    http://polyhedracon.com/forums/thread-8.html

    Maybe Joe Blockhead is available to offer his services as a minister? Will a frozen horse penis covered in dried, caked on feces get through TSA security though?

    • bad wolf permalink
      August 28, 2013 4:54 pm

      “We currently have 2 members registered.
      Please welcome our newest member, unclecarbuncle.” Oh Blooey…

  45. NUNYA permalink
    August 29, 2013 11:44 am

    PLOT TWIST FROM LEXYGIRL-GUYS HOAMGAME JUST CAME IN!

    PIRATEQUEEN DEAD HUSBIND RISES IN TEH UNDETH AND SEE’S HIS HOAR WIFE PUTTING OUT 2 DAYS AFTER HIM BUREED IN THE SEAS…FAPS HIS ECTOPLASM EVERYWAIR ALLOVER RAPEFITER’S BACK WHILE WATCHING …SAVE VS. RETARD OR LOSE A LEVL RAPEFITRE GUY!!!

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