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How do you spell “divorce lawyer” in Finnish?

August 2, 2013

If anyone knows, slip James Raggi IV an email because I bet if he checks his wife’s browser history he’s going to stumble across a Google search that may give him pause. I’m not a psychologist nor did I stay at a Holiday Inn, but I am a random complete asshole on the Internet and I think that proves I have keen insight into the human psyche, and I can only imagine Mrs. James Raggi IV has exhausted her patience subsidizing James’ ambitions to be a big macher in the OSR. Commentter Dumb Dungeon is on the beat pointing us to the latest vid.

It might have looked promising for awhile. Perhaps it was exciting to see those big boxes filled with books, each with James’ name on the cover. And he could point excitedly to himself on YouTube and podcasts and Internet traffic numbers and she could be excused for thinking, “Hmm, maybe he’s onto something.” Even better were those days when the Kickstarter cash came through and it was like being the Helsinki Hillbillies for a day, with visions of cement ponds and fancy motorized carriages.

But now it must be impossible for her to look around and not think, “What the fuck is this horseshit I’ve been corralled into?” James is so poor now he can’t even afford postage. Fucking empty boxes shitting up the whole apartment. He’s waking her up at 5am recording goddamn videos. Oderus Urungus hasn’t called in months. The joint checking account is drained but she still has to trudge into work every morning and bust her ass, while James lounges around the house in his XXXXXXL LotFloP t-shirt, dirty skivs damp in the front with piss dribbles, Hot Pocket cheese filaments spiderwebbed into his pube-beard, smelling like someone barfed in a gym sock… Jesus I gotta dial this one back and re-focus.

Anyhoo, she’s working like a dog paying the bills just so he can lord it up on the Internet with a bunch of choad-huffers, climbing up on the toilet to raise up his dvd of A Serbian Film so all the bedwetters can go, “AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!” and he can sproing a chubby little boner because he’s queen for a day. “THIS IS WHAT I’M MARRIED TO?!?!? THIS IS WHERE MY MONEY GOES?”

And then, the final and worst insult, she’s surrounded by this fucking Flame Princess shit. She has to be reminded every God damned day that her husband is only in Finland because he’s an actual honest-to-God creepstalker. He takes every opportunity he can to tell that wacko story again, named his company after her, has her image everywhere around the house on posters, shirts, books, art, screen saver, just rubbing it in his wife’s fucking face. Maybe it was endearing at first and she thought, “This is a phase and it shall pass, and anyway he loves me — I’ll become his Flame Princess!” Bad news, hon — it didn’t turn out the way you hoped. A decade later and he still recounts that story for the junior stalker crowd on a weekly basis and absolutely revels in it. If the real Flame Princess pulled up out front and honked her horn, he’d jump in the car and roar off with her into the sunset and never look back. And then he’d slaughter her and eat her tits. That’s what you’re subsidizing, Mrs. Raggi.

So probably the divorce event horizon approaches and I doubt James even sees it coming because his eyes are on the prize of who gets the most OSR google +1’s, regardless if this means he spends every last dollar his wife earns and then some. I have no idea how asset division works under Finnish divorce law, but can you imagine ex-Mrs. Raggi’s disappointment when she realizes the grand haul is going to be 500 t-shirts with the original recipe Flame Princess on them? I guess that’s better than a 4’x8′ litho of the dook from Monolith, though.

329 Comments leave one →
  1. Bob's Cunt permalink
    August 2, 2013 9:25 am

    You give him money, you get a voucher for a book. I can hear the money from suckers just roll in.

  2. August 2, 2013 9:28 am

    avioero juristi

  3. Peanut Eminem permalink
    August 2, 2013 9:43 am

    Thats the thing isn’t it. His is wife is reminded on a daily basis that she was his second choice. Imagine that, being the one that Raggs says “well. Ok you will do.”

  4. August 2, 2013 10:03 am

    By his own admission Finnish women are “easy” so he probably already has a more sympathetic piece lined up on the side. Otherwise if the wife kicks him out he has to get his Finnish up to janitorial levels in a hurry or bring all those “edgy collectibles” back home across customs! Fuck that!

    http://greifenklaue.wordpress.com/2012/05/13/james-edward-raggi-iv-im-kamingesprach-englisch/

  5. August 2, 2013 10:10 am

    That video is fucking gold. Which way do people look off into space when they’re confabulating on a webcam? It’s left, right? My left?

  6. Dumb Dungeon permalink
    August 2, 2013 10:50 am

    My thoughts went to mrs Raggi as well. Especially since I learned from G+, that their (read: her) car had broken down and poor James had to carry all them parcels by foot to the post office… a whole freakin’ kilometer away. With all that walking he’ll be down to a size XXXL in no time.

    And that whole referee book – who the fuck would want that? I actually kinda get why people play LotFP; it’s some shitty old rules in a nifty new package. With boobs and gore. But that’s the rules. The referee book will just be 100+ pages of James going “NO! I will not provide a bestiary. For that makes it un-weird”, “NO! I will not give examples of magic item. For that makes it non-weird” and telling people to go read some weird ol’ Lovecraft. Useless.

  7. unclecarbuncle permalink
    August 2, 2013 11:22 am

    AN ASS STEPS OF ELVATOR CORDOOR EAST GO 40 FEETS AN CANDI LEADS SEES A PIT COVERED AN GOS AROUN AN COMES TOA T. FOKBEARD SCREMES OUT ASHE FALLS 20 FEETS DOWN PIT AN LANDS ON SPIKES 15 DMG. CANDI DESIDES TO LEAF PERVY DWARF BEHIND IN TH PIT THO HE YELLS CALLS HER CUNTS AND HEADS NORTH 50 FEETS AN LARGE DOUBLE DOORs PAINTI RED WITH FLAMES

  8. Kent permalink
    August 2, 2013 11:48 am

    It’s nice to see a woman being the responsible one for a change. Good for her.

  9. unclecarbuncle permalink
    August 2, 2013 11:54 am

    MAP —•/___[]

  10. Timothy is cooler than uncle kentbuckle - no, really. permalink
    August 2, 2013 12:19 pm

    Anybody else get the impression that R4 doesn’t even game anymore?

    The argument he makes that the Referee Book MUST come out now is more now-or-never bullshit. You don’t need his disassociative ramblings to play the game.

  11. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 2, 2013 1:06 pm

    Raggi rocking back and forth is very possibly from pain and itching associated with ‘roids or anal fissures. But I can’t focus on that. That fat neck wattle combined with his mighty chin balls suck in all my attention. I can still see it when I close my eyes. I can’t even pray to The Lord to take the image away. It seems so pointless. I mean, what sort of God would allow this?

    In other relationship news, I don’t see Mandy playing with Zak and the wanna be Team Unicorn chicks he recently posted pics of. Has The Attack finally ditched the long suffering D cup for a shot at these younger, healthier lasses? Something fresh to herp-up? “This makes me happy” says the Fucked-up-haired one…

    And in more happy news, that Nimrod Joe has appeared from his months-long vanishment. His three most recent posts are each worthy of a YDIS post themselves. Just awesome in their cringe-worthyness. Enjoy.

    http://wondrousimaginings.blogspot.com/

    http://wondrousimaginings.blogspot.com/

  12. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    August 2, 2013 1:11 pm

    Between JaMal’s patient and ever loyal wife, who held her husbands clamy and pale hand through his ‘ordeal’ and Fatass Faggi’s wife having to live with being the second choice while Mr. Flame Princess sits around at home making murder games, I’m forming a new opinion of gaming wives. And it’s not good.

    FUCK!

  13. forget about it permalink
    August 2, 2013 4:17 pm

    Now that was a fucking post, ydis. Dense and chock-full of content. No bullets and indented three word sentences and bullshit here. And mean. Fuck yeah.

  14. August 2, 2013 4:41 pm

    I’m pretty sure I read somewhere in a Raggi flop-fest-blog-o-rama that this one is already Ms. Raggi the 2nd so she was the alternate to the second choice.

    “Why isn’t anyone giving me moar money???” asks Raggi the last.
    “Because, fuck you, that’s why!”

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 3, 2013 11:26 am

      True story – I ran into Raggi once when he was down and out living on the street between runner up bread winner wives and he was chronic masturbating all over the logo on a Wendy’s cup.

  15. Exploding Colostomy Bag permalink
    August 2, 2013 8:44 pm

    Perhaps he should have come up with a better business model …??

  16. Ritter permalink
    August 3, 2013 9:17 am

    That’s some classic YDIS writing right there!

  17. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 3, 2013 11:28 am

    From that video it is clear Raggi is running a pyramid scheme – pay for one product with the Kickstarter funds from another. Only a bigger fool would give this fool any more money.

    • Zarathustra permalink
      August 3, 2013 5:37 pm

      Seems like he is very aware of the growing resentment about amateur kickstarting fuck ups (Jmal, Nystul etc) and yet still has the hide to try an emperors new clothes his way into both separating himself from those other failures/scams and asking for more money for nothing.

      He complains he has no money left because he OVER-delivered on kickstarters with extra pages etc. How about, running your fucking business like a business and asking the writers to fulfill their brief properly or editing the fuck out of them so you can meet your margins instead of delivering some bloated, wordy turd with no utility at the game table?

      • August 4, 2013 7:20 am

        …So, if Raggi has a shortage of funds, why did he spend money publishing ‘Fuck for Satan,’ a book he was not obligated to publish? Is there some OSR logic I’m missing here?

      • Dumb Dungeon permalink
        August 6, 2013 5:03 am

        And what will he do when… strike that… IF Green and Urungus at one point turn in their books and they will have to be printed and shipped. Downward spiral if I ever saw one. And not in the cool NiN way.

      • Dumb Dungeon permalink
        August 8, 2013 3:54 am

        Holy f*ck. Kelvin Green shows the LotFP-publishing stupid in all its glory:
        http://kelvingreen.blogspot.dk/2013/08/stolen-years.html
        So, your shit is delayed, now going on a year+.
        But wait, it was actually turned in, more or less complete, back in May.
        But wait, instead of getting the thing done, we wan’t give you more more stuff, compensating people who are waiting for the long overdue book.
        That stuff is now delaying the process….

      • Ritter permalink
        August 8, 2013 8:04 am

        That artwork looks like a turdling from the monolith. Anyone care to stat it out? That’s some scary shit…

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 8, 2013 10:29 am

        Clearly it’s a Rape Turd.

      • August 8, 2013 12:37 pm

        How the fuck did that thing button that cardigan?

  18. Dumb Dungeon permalink
    August 3, 2013 12:10 pm

    Quote from himself: “My wife wants all this shit OUT OF HER HOUSE”.

    Also; price of his Rules & Magic book was 30$, including s&h. The book you can actually use, should you want to play LotFP.

    Price of this new dodgy referee book: 35$, AND you get to pay postage yourself. A case of daddy needs a new pair of shoes… or strange leather gauntlet?

    And he should really stop calling people “the LotFP faithful”… it’s creepy, even if it is true. He might also stop pretending that there is a market for his books outside the (G+) circle of said faithfuls.

  19. Fucktard's Everfull Ass permalink
    August 3, 2013 2:57 pm

    I like how Raggi reinforces the fat, dorky, no job having D&D stereotype. Thanks!

    • August 3, 2013 3:40 pm

      Hey cutting and pasting D&D rules takes time! Fuck, deleting all the monster and magic items lists probably gave him carpal tunnel which explains the bizarro fucking glove he wears. I mean, Raggi the Last thinks he’s being all fucking edgy and whatnot so I’m guessing the fatass never read Kult. Not that Kult is some holy grail of horror and weird roleplaying as the rules were too finicky for what it was emulating in my opinion but that game had a seriously weird and creepy environment that was spelled out rather than the bare bones bland as fuck LotFlop.

      • Dumb Dungeon permalink
        August 3, 2013 11:04 pm

        That’s the thing, isn’t it. None of that LotFP-stuff is really very scary or edgy. It’s all, like James himself, 80s schlock horror build on paying people to badly draw “outrageous” stuff and writing scenarios that adds “..in the most stupid way possible” to the Bloodymage creed of “Death to all PCs”.

  20. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    August 4, 2013 12:46 am

    The premise of most Raggi the Last modules seem to assume the group are just a bunch of murderhobos out for slittling anyone’s throat for a copper. Death, Fap, Doom falls apart if the Dungeon Master can’t entice the party to rob a house. I suppose you could angle it towards a benevolent group just going to check on the residents but ummm… After around the maybe the first encounter the party should basically call for the fucking town watch and wash their collective hands of the thing only if their murderhobo thieves they can’t go to the watch cause they were breaking and entering. Sigh, Raggi’s Duvan Ku cult can go fuck themselves honestly. If I were on the receiving end of one of these shit modules that the blog-o-sphere raves about, I’d split the dungeon master’s head with a fucking mattock. Good thing there’s no paladins in LotFloP.

  21. Dildatory Interlude permalink
    August 5, 2013 2:38 pm

    Zak takes a moment to chide the RPG.net owners on their choice of moderators because they allow a (typically namby-pamby) thread go to on about Monte Cook’s new droppings: http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2013/08/open-letter-to-shannon-appelcline-and.html

    Co-signed by some skanks!

    Coincidentally, OR MAYBE NOT, Zak was recently banned at RPG.net: http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?698051-Infraction-for-Zak-S-17)-Permanent-Ban

    Zak sure showed them!

    An informal poll shows early results that no one gives a fuck about whether Zak can or cannot post anywhere.

    • August 5, 2013 6:07 pm

      Somebody’s so strung out on ritalin he thinks Tim TRUMAN drew all teh sexy vampires and turned gaming simultaneously co-ed and gay. It’s Tim fucking BRADSTREET.

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      August 6, 2013 5:52 am

      The saddest reply on Zak’s crying jag of a blog post:

      “Chris A. FieldAugust 5, 2013 at 3:30 PM
      You know, the three indy game authors who’s work I follow the most: yourself, James Desborough, and RPGPundit, have all gotten kicked off that site.”

      Son, you’ve got bad taste.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 6, 2013 6:34 am

        Not really a surprise because Chris Field is another one who dreams of being the next “edgy” Raggi-Zak-Desborough:

        http://www.rpgnow.com/product/115952/Black-Tokyo–Unlimited-Edition?cPath=767_9179

        Oooo Lookieee! RPGNow “Adult” Content!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 6, 2013 6:38 am

        Yes, Chris Field wants to appeal to that portion of the fatbeard population who find Asian poontang ever so titillating. He offers the unblown masses a peak into the mysterious erotic East only hinted at in Oriental Adventures.

      • August 6, 2013 6:48 am

        Quid pro quo, Doctah Spectah: the rpg.net review of Black Tokyo is noteworthy for riding the refractory porn cycle:

        When I first a description about what Black Tokyo was, I was honestly very excited. I don’t believe that any particular subject in RPGs should be avoided out of hand, and as such the fact that sex has always been given exactly that treatment has always slightly irked me. “At last,” I thought after reading the product’s description, “this will be like the Book of Erotic Fantasy, but done right!” And though the price tag seemed a bit high for a PDF (even considering the book’s length), I quickly fell upon it once it was released. When I finished reading, my enthusiasm had been curbed, and I had to wonder if perhaps my expectations had set the bar a bit too high, or if my thoughts of the final product were fair based on its own merits.

        http://www.rpg.net/reviews/archive/13/13640.phtml

        As always, rpg reviewers are cheap fucks so the sticker shock is no surprise. But then this one goes on to bitch about how the book doesn’t have enough of something called “lolicon,” which I guess isn’t going to win Nabokov any nobel prizes. Does someone buy or create a “hentai SRD” supplement explicitly to figure out how to work schoolgirls into a game? Is this the kind of person who considers Zak, Grimjim and the Pundit the three men he admires most? I don’t fucking know.

      • Timothy permalink
        August 6, 2013 7:26 am

        Great, more rape gamers. Chris Field, you are a little faggot-ass piece of shit champion of the unblown.

        I am sure he is representative if Zak Attack’s legion of G+ goosesteppers.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 6, 2013 1:09 pm

        $20 bucks sez Chris Field will suicide by mod himself at Big Purple Dildo in the next month so he can join the edgy adult content pedo porn club with his heroes Faggi, Zak Princess and Grim Jim McRapeyPants Desborough and use the experience to market his rape products to the unblown.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 6, 2013 5:59 pm

        So I just downloaded my comp copy of Black Tokyo from 4shared (you all know as YDIS founding members you are entitled to free PDF copies of any RPG you don’t really want, right? Just check out 4shared dot com and 7chan dot com /tg/) Anyhoo, here’s a little sample of Chris Field’s “talent”:

        Half Demon Pussy (SU)
        Prerequisite:Any Starting Occupation, female gender,
        CON 13+, CHA 13+
        An oni ancestor hides somewhere in your heritage. Your
        tainted bloodline gives you insatiable lusts, driving you to
        half crazed with a need to fill your pussy. Your half-demon viscera
        squirm, writhe and reorganize themselves around the
        shafts that penetrate you in hopes of driving it deeper.
        For an hour after any penetrative sexual encounter, you
        have a 15% chance to ignore the effects of critical hits,
        as if you had a lesser version of the light fortification
        armor feature.

        Forget who is writing this crap, what I want to know is what kind of sick, twisted, depraved fuck plays this shit? You are not “mature”, you are not “edgy”, you are not “outre” you are not even fucking “metal”. What you are is in need of psychiatric evaluation and possible incarceration.

      • August 6, 2013 7:27 pm

        What a bunch of facist cisgender bullshit. M2F tran is not a suitable prerequisite for Half Demon Pussy? Outrageous.

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        August 7, 2013 9:19 am

        The Zak Attack OSR apologia has begun in earnest! http://rolesrules.blogspot.com/2013/08/derailing-concern-trolling-and.html

        No surprise, chamption ass-snifer Richrd G makes an appearance while admitting he didn’t have the nuts to press “Post” on his own surely well-reasoned defense of the half-hair: “richard7 August 2013 16:28
        Thanks for writing this. I’ve poised my fingers at the keyboard a few times to try to say something along these lines, but it was nowhere near as cogent and coherent.”

        But my favorite of the two replies is the ol’ “I haven’t actually read the thing I am about to make a judgment on, but I feel the need to open my undoubtedly fat mouth anyway” move: “John7 August 2013 16:40
        Without having read the thread or knowing anything about the forum or Zak’s behaviour on it, that ban notice really paints the moderator in a bad light. It juxtaposes what appears to be a calm and reasonable post by Zak with an apparently unrelated accusatory tirade by the moderator.”

      • Arneson's Manboob permalink
        August 12, 2013 11:28 am

        What we’ve got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can’t reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. I don’t like it any more than you men.

      • August 12, 2013 11:55 am

        The illustrious Kyle Schuant whines: “Can we talk about GAMES now?”

        If I had a nickel for every time some nervous nerd tiptoeing on the edge of unhappy-making revelations pushed that button, I’d have somewhere between what Tavis earned on Dwimmermount and what Tenkar paid in.

        Nothing provokes more bitching from these boys than someone who deviates from the toybox to talk about “politics” or anything else. Keeping the monsters at bay is why one of them invented the whole fucking joesky tax in the first place. Where does this cutie-pie shuffle come from? Does the world scare them so much it needs to have an alignment and fucking thaco assigned to it before they can even cope?

  22. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 5, 2013 6:50 pm

    I love that Zak is pushing the images of fresh bitches as much as he can lately. He knows what gets The Unblown to perk-up. That is to say, that some guys actually get to game with guhrls. Heck, some guys even get to game with girls that aren’t low-end amateur hour porn skanks, meagerly talented (obviously) hair dressers, and confused bus station waifs. But then, those of us that do don’t spend all day and night roaming the forums looking for prey to blindly attack and keeping ourselves out there so we can continue to be a big fish in the blOwSR pond and get nodding agreement in their personal echo chambers. Fame in gaming circles these days seems really pathetic to a lot of us. Hence, this site.

    But that rpg.net mod is pretty spot on with his description of The Attack in general. Spot the fuck on.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 6, 2013 6:39 am

      Mandy’s kind of dried up and pox marked now.

  23. August 5, 2013 7:29 pm

    I’d like to take just a moment to welcome the 3 visitors who found this blog using the search terms “anal piss german 4shared,” “gay fucking on a horse carriage” and “free dirty rotten porn of people making pussy farts in ass farts.” If you have any questions please ask our service associate Kent, he will be happy to help you.

    • Kent permalink
      August 6, 2013 5:47 am

      Yes visitors, you are on the right track reminding ydis of the nursery rhymes his parents brought him up on.

  24. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 5, 2013 7:45 pm

    I see Zak S got permabanned over at Big Purple Dildo for calling the Uber Liberal Tranny RPGNet Crowd conservatives one too many times just because they frown upon the misogynistic “art” that he and Raggi pump out.

    http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?698051-Infraction-for-Zak-S-17%29-Permanent-Ban

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 5, 2013 7:47 pm

      Sorry, scooped above.

    • Ritter permalink
      August 5, 2013 8:37 pm

      The admin’s post banning the Zakster was priceless reading. And I do find it interesting that Zak takes issue with “a social environment of weird controlling nerd boys” when his blog, and in fact every blog he participates in, is just that.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        August 5, 2013 10:34 pm

        Pot meet kettle?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 6, 2013 1:11 pm

        Ettin is a complete freak show to watch, but seeing him go at it with ZaK Princess was one of the better online Retard Fights I’ve seen in awhile.

  25. Bob's Cunt permalink
    August 6, 2013 5:37 am

    http://www.tenkarstavern.com/2013/08/rant-what-hell-is-it-with-pdfs-and.html Tenkar cries tears because a gaming book from 2013 does not look like a gaming book from 1976. Someone ask him if he needs a Kleenex or a Kotex.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 6, 2013 6:28 am

      Tenkar’s Turdshack has really jumped the blOwSR dire shark….

    • Sykirobme permalink
      August 6, 2013 10:12 am

      To be fair, that kind of watermark shit on pdfs is stupid.

      • Bob's Cunt permalink
        August 6, 2013 12:25 pm

        Anything that makes the OSR cry is far from stupid.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        August 7, 2013 8:13 pm

        Good point, bc

    • Skanka the Hutt permalink
      August 6, 2013 8:22 pm

      Some more fucking whining…..
      http://www.tenkarstavern.com/2013/08/unofficial-poll-artwork-behind-your.html

      I get what he is saying, but Tenkar never met a dead horse he didn’t like to bugger the fuck out of.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 6, 2013 8:34 pm

        And thank fucking god the Anton wannabe chimed in. I am not sure what I would do with myself if that silly cunt didn’t give his expert opinion.

      • Bob's Cunt permalink
        August 7, 2013 8:52 am

        “One random commenter will get an as yet undecided prize from The Tavern’s prize closet.”

        The one putz that completely agrees with Tenkar will get a picture of Raggi doing the reacharound on Jmal.

    • SparkleMotion permalink
      August 8, 2013 8:49 am

      His comments are valid. I know “LOGIC” and “COMMON SENSE” are baddy mcbad terms here. The background images are soul sucking, printer ink gobbling, horribad scrolling on tablet machinations that need to DIE LIKE KENT WITH AIDS.

      Some how, some way, this perversion permeates throughout Publishers who think it’s awesome to have these retardicle background images.

      • Bob's Cunt permalink
        August 8, 2013 10:00 am

        So what does Tenkar’s cratch taste like?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 8, 2013 10:32 am

        And do you use a Sparkle Motion when you polish Tenkar’s bunghole with your tongue?

      • SparkleMotion permalink
        August 8, 2013 10:47 am

        Tenkar’s crotch is a mix of herpes and crabs. When they launch at me like a rogue doing a sneak attack I call them Herbs. Vicious lil bastards.

        Yes, I use Anal Eeze (mint flavored) when applying the rectal polish you so elloquently suggest I use. Were you the midget in the closet beating off fervently or the freakshow in the Night elf suit with the camera? I get my degenerates mixed up.

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        August 8, 2013 10:48 am

        “Oh, Tenkar,” he cooed, “take me to the back of your tavern and tell me all about the millions you’ve sunk into Kickstarter!”

      • SparkleMotion permalink
        August 8, 2013 12:42 pm

        And then we had Sex…The Aristocrats!

  26. Aos permalink
    August 6, 2013 12:45 pm

    And it is really not a problem on a tablet. Printing out a 400 page color pdf is a dumbass move, anyway.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 6, 2013 1:05 pm

      Exactly. You might as well buy a fucking hard copy then.

      Tenkar’s Turdshack not only backs every shitty Kickstarter but prints out full color 400+ page PDFs. He loves getting burned.

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        August 6, 2013 1:38 pm

        I heard he walks the streets of Camden, NJ at night with a purse full of twenties while loudly yelling at every passing gangbanger and street person, “I sure hope a LADY like me with a PURSE FULL OF MONEY doesn’t get mugged! Oh my stars, I would hate to HAVE MY MONEY TAKEN FROM ME!”

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 6, 2013 4:44 pm

        And then he’s too stupid to go George Zimmerman on their ass and ends up lying in the gutter bleeding from his mouth and rectum.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 6, 2013 8:25 pm

        Twinkar takes feigning shock to a whole new level.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        August 7, 2013 8:26 pm

        Tenkar is a hot mess sometimes but he’s always entertaining. Even when he tries to be critical of the OSblowtaRds.

    • SparkleMotion permalink
      August 8, 2013 9:25 am

      BZZZZT. I have an IPad4 and skipping through PDF’s with Mona LIsa background images are painful. 3s or sometimes more waiting for a single fucking page to load because some cumstain decides they like to have spaghetti vomit as a background on EVERYTHING.

      Fuck that backwards with an axe handle.

      • Bob's Cunt permalink
        August 8, 2013 9:59 am

        Your first problem is that you have an iPad, I’m guessing you like being raped by Steve Jobs’s corpse so that would place you right in the dynamic of the OSTards that wank to being molested by Gygax. As for the rest, if you decide to print a pdf like that the fault lies with you, not with the company.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 8, 2013 10:33 am

        iPads are for pussies and fags. Real men use Android.

      • SparkleMotion permalink
        August 8, 2013 10:49 am

        Apple=Just Works. Jobs was Jesus. All hail Jesus.

        Fagdroids love stuff to be difficult. Are you douchecanoes still running gingerbread on your Jitterphones because your poor asses can’t move out of mom’s spare bedroom that she shoved her dolls in after daddy died from hanging himself looking after your aborted asses for 30yrs?

        Printing PDF’s is dumb. Who does that anyway?

      • Aos permalink
        August 9, 2013 5:02 pm

        Sparkle, youmay want to get ypur ipad4 looked at, because I’m looking at it on an ipad 2 in ibooks and i have got no. perceptanle lag- at all. Are you maybe running something in the background?

  27. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    August 7, 2013 12:02 am

    If you never printed out your 400 page copy of first edition F.A.T.A.L. you might get stuck playing second edition soon as it’s getting harder to find. Say goodbye to your cursed Robe of Many Boners or whatever the hell else.

  28. Kent permalink
    August 7, 2013 2:57 am

    If any of you guys, including ydis herself, want to be rebuffed and insulted swing by my blog:

    http://somekingskent.blogspot.ie/2013/08/night-of-walking-wet-by-jaquays.html

  29. Kentucky Lad permalink
    August 7, 2013 3:20 pm

    I would prefer if Zak S was banned — “for being himself in his own essence, a bit of a Zak, a bit too much of a Zak to stomach” — than for his typewriter-connected-to-a-hamster-wheel Olympian Hamster with sharks teeth and electric feet.

  30. Kentucky Lad permalink
    August 7, 2013 5:48 pm

    I will fight anyone here who says they loath Zak S more than I, or who claims they could depict an american ponce with hotter Elizabethan fervour.

    • Lamentations of Gygax's Ghost permalink
      August 7, 2013 6:50 pm

      Seems this Ettin fellow is pretty spot on with his amateur pyschological assement of the old Attack and his intarwebs behavior. Zachary certainly never added anything to any discussion beside as air of know-it-all-itis and smug self righteousness. Any place that bans the half haired loser that couldn’t make it in teh pron, the art seen, the punque scene, and had to fall back on the lowest rung of gaming wit teh sort-o pron starz to bring in the mouth breathers is better for getting rid of the avenging wallflower that is the Zachariah Attack Farce.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        August 7, 2013 8:25 pm

        ZakPrincess is an interesting study. First, he tries to score points by parading around skanky low end porn stars like meat for his own self-aggrandizement. Then, he turns around and talks about shitty gamer porn materials, written by mouth breathing fatbeards as great ideals of female empowerment while invoking his G+ followers and worn out skanks as proof positive that he’s right! When he gets his dick snapped with a rubber band by a moderator of the Peoples Democracy of Gaming for being an idiot shit starter and strawman puncher, he retreats to the safety of his echo chamber for some much needed ego salving jack off sessions with his skanks and G+’tards and re-emerges to proclaim his victory against censorship!

        Sounds like Zakkypoo has some serious issues with women and his own self esteem. Mommy issues maybe?

  31. August 7, 2013 7:25 pm

    Jesus Christ Geoffrey, I luv ya buddy but sometimes it’s like you literally step out of a beat up old van with blacked out windows and rattle a cup of Jolly Ranchers at passing children…

    • August 7, 2013 7:34 pm

      Reminds me of another Jeffrey (Dahmer) with the “complex” racial politics and outwardly pleasant demeanor.

      But right when you posted this I was warming my hands at the Pundit’s secret google plus! Target rich environment:

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        August 7, 2013 8:27 pm

        Low hanging fruit right there!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 8, 2013 4:47 pm

        That Kasimir Urbanski dude is okay in my book.

      • Ask Lorraine Williams permalink
        August 8, 2013 4:59 pm

        Gayhawk Grogturd writes:

        But does there have a whole “movement” to make girls “feel included”???

        Signed,
        Anton Le Gay

        Dear Gayhawk:

        Hey fucktard, if you are calling us girls instead of women in 2013, then perhaps just maybe there fucking does……

        But then again, you are the same fucktard who cheered loudly (on fucking gaming blogs no less) when the murderer of a teenage boy got away with it.

        Why don’t you go to one of your Tea Party meetings and tell those assholes you are a pagan priestess druid in your spare time (or whatever the fuck New Age bullshit religion you claim you are you turd gurgler). Those Neo-Nazi Tea Bagging assholes will string you up and light you on fire like a gay kid in Russia!

        Now go off your wife and children while they sleep with one of your Second Amendment guns then take your own life with a suicide by cop, fuckface!

        Warmly,
        Lorraine Williams

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 8, 2013 9:16 pm

        Holy fuck, Anton is a piece of work. The same man who rails against imaginary witches beng killed in a card game has the fucking balls to write that shit.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        August 8, 2013 11:09 pm

        Douchebaggery knows no boundries.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 9, 2013 8:33 pm

        One of the truest maxims in life. And one of the motivating creeds of the OSR.

    • August 8, 2013 7:07 am

      I love how Raggi is upset because the book he is reading doesn’t extoll the virtues of the Inquisition. Also, that Pundit G+ clusterfuck is damn fine entertainment.

    • Timothy permalink
      August 8, 2013 9:11 am

      Geoffie:

      “As for slavery, it’s older than history, and only for the last few centuries has there been any real opposition to it.”

      Because historians never asked the opinions of the slaves, did they? He is the dumbest fuck in the whole blOwSR.

      The whole biblical Moses-leading-his-people-out-of-slavery thing doesn’t really count as real opposition to slavery, evidently. Nor the Servile Wars in Rome (Sparatcus’ rebellion was the Third one). That was a matter of poor sleeping arrangements, not opposition to being a slave.

      Facts just don’t penetrate geoffie’s +5 mithral cranium. So the Cofederacy Apology Tour rolls on…

      • Sicut Dudum permalink
        August 11, 2013 2:43 pm

        The Carcosa apologist is being silly but your examples would not refute his point.

        Slaves hated being slaves, but almost everybody (before the Enlightenment) accepted slavery as an institution.

        Spartacus wanted to be free but he would have bought slaves if he had gone back to Thracia.

        But Quakers were among the first abolitionists, I really don’t understand his argument.

  32. Bob's Cunt permalink
    August 7, 2013 7:41 pm

    I think I found Raggi and Kent’s love child:

    • SparkleMotion permalink
      August 8, 2013 10:49 am

      I told Cousin Louis to never get in front of a computer again…

  33. Kent permalink
    August 8, 2013 1:50 pm

    I can’t read those threads anymore, G+ or RPG.net, beyond scanning a couple of posts.

    Its like Im cured of something !!

    I can see !!

  34. Dildatory Interlude permalink
    August 9, 2013 7:13 am

    I think I’ve found the right lawyer to represent Mrs. Raggi. “I worship Odin and am a warrior!” says the frail looking ponce in the turtleneck who plays DnD: http://jonupsalsgarden.blogspot.com/2013/08/mine-is-not-religion-of-peace.html

    • Timothy permalink
      August 9, 2013 7:43 am

      God damn. If Bloch gets fragged, I won’t feel and pity, now.

      And the chances of him being noticed by a valkyrie for being an internet tough guy are worse than mine being a tequila-swilling couch potato.

      And Lo, that is verily truth, so helpeth me Odin.

      • Dumb Dungeon permalink
        August 9, 2013 12:55 pm

        By Great Odin’s Beard… I can feel the black magic ™ missiles homing in on YDIS. Prepare for 1d4+1 damage, pägän style.

    • August 9, 2013 12:45 pm

      Okay, I’m in. Who else wants to comment?

    • August 9, 2013 12:55 pm

      You rarely see a guy with an ashkenazi name start so many norse power blogs.

    • Skanka the Hutt permalink
      August 9, 2013 8:28 pm

      That blog gives a real glimpse into his special brand of crazy. But I better watch it. I might find a curse sent my way. Knowing my luck, he would force me to fall in love with Adventures Dumb and Dull.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 9, 2013 8:48 pm

        Death by fake magic is preferable to being forced to enjoy the work of some opportunistic asshole who thinks he knows the true intent of Gygax.

  35. Aos permalink
    August 9, 2013 7:38 am

    It’s like middle school, the religion, but you get to talk like comic book Thor. Lo, that is mine opinion!

  36. bad wolf permalink
    August 9, 2013 8:09 am

    After Zak’s amazing defense at his own site (“Nuh uh! My girlfriend agrees with me!”) goes semi-viral:

    “P.P.S. This is the most plussed post in the history of this blog”

    he thanks RPGPundit for the reacharound with:

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=27361&page=4

    “Talk about Shannon Appelcline and Christopher Allen at Skotos.

    These are the people responsible for who is moderating at RPGnet.

    Anyone googling their names ever should be overwhelmed by results talking about how bad their decisions there are for the gateway RPG webforum. Unless they take steps to fix it.

    That’s where the fault lies–those are the people with careers and names.”

    Once again OSR bigshot takes gaming/forum disagreement to a crusade to end people’s careers. I can only assume that this is acceptable because so few of them have jobs?

    • Timothy permalink
      August 9, 2013 9:46 am

      “P.P.S. This is the most plussed post in the history of this blog.”

      Once again, concrete, objective proof that Zak is correct and morally pure in his crusade.

      Everyone else is just Tipper Gore.

    • August 9, 2013 12:49 pm

      No clue who Allen is but from my limited interaction with Appelcline I doubt he gives three metric fucks. Purple dildo brings home 10 times the clicky-clicks as the ‘shite. If dudgeon could change that, it already would have happened.

      What this looks like is a tantrum.

      • Aos permalink
        August 9, 2013 12:54 pm

        I think it likely way oast 10x, and .net is okay as long as you stear clear of thos threads.,TRPS is the same 20 guys having the same conversation about the same game over and over again.

      • August 9, 2013 12:57 pm

        I-and-I just rollin with da numbers on da ad kits mon! But I see your point.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      August 9, 2013 12:56 pm

      Zakkypoo gets banned from the most ‘edgy and open’ forum site in RPG’dom and he washes up on the shores of theRPGsite, surrounded by the banned and outcas. He figures that he is now like Max from Where the Wild Things Are and while dancing around the fires with his new found friends decides to unite them against the Big Purple Dildo site. Calling for heads and jobs in the name of skanky bitches and RPG’s with titties in them.

      I guess the stench of low end pussy must have shrunk not only his testicles but also shrunk his ego.

  37. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    August 9, 2013 1:56 pm

    More on the “raggification” of the hobby… you know what vanilla fantasy needs? A whole lotta rape (PDF):

    The bandits captured this middle-aged olve about
    three months ago. She has suffered greatly at their
    hands, having been repeatedly raped and beaten,
    but her faith in Ehlonna and her altruistic spirit have
    not been weakened.

    As if that’s not creepy enough, here’s a bit about another captive:

    Also well into middle age, her homeliness compared to
    Adrinedhel has spared her from most of the bandits’
    lurid attentions, but she has suffered worse beatings
    for it.

    You see, the rapiness is baked right into the module! Uncle Gary would have glossed over this nastiness by claiming the elf chix were “held in durance vile”, and you could have handled it however you wanted… maybe the bandits like to get pegged and this priestess of Ehlonna is handy with a wooden elfin strap-on (Open Game Content).

    I didn’t know this guy was one of the sickos, and I’m not looking forward to his edgy “World of Rapehawk”.

    • Gary Gygax permalink
      August 12, 2013 1:54 pm

      I’m not your uncle, bitch.

  38. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    August 9, 2013 2:09 pm

    LOL more epic fail from the rapehawk adventure:

    Ceuterna [sigh-TAYR-nah], Oeridian female
    prostitute (AC 10; MV 12”; Lvl 0; hp 2; #AT 1; Dmg
    d4 [dagger]; Int Very; AL N; THAC0 203)
    This lewd, somewhat unstable woman of average
    attractiveness (13 Comeliness) is out peddling her
    “wares”. Ceuterna is well dressed, but in a revealing
    gown that leaves little to the imagination. She will
    indiscriminately offer herself up to passersby for the
    price of 15 sp. Ceuterna has no useful information
    and serves no greater purpose in the scope of this
    adventure…”
    Disposable prostitute that serves no purpose in this adventure..except to jerk one off too under the table. Can’t any of these fucks just roll on the wandering harlot table and call it good?
    FUCK!

  39. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 9, 2013 3:03 pm

    Goddamn, this is a great time to be alive and watching the OSR. Everywhere I look is dripping with pathos, irony, and sadness. And by sadness I mean hilarity.

    My mystery to ponder this weekend? Who is getting Satine Pheonix in the Zak/Mandy break-up? She’s good friends with both. She could maintain grrrl power and support Mandy, but with that she probably has to make with the wipey wipey butt assist every couple of hours. Making adult diaper runs to Rite Aid. If she stays with Zak, then she has to continue living on the skeevy side of life, possibly harming her chances at a normal life with a straight laced sugar daddy or whatnot. Seeing as Phillipinos get ugly as they get older at an exponential rate, she cannot afford too much of living the Zak Attack life. Shit, I wish the blOwSR had a supermarket tabloid rag to keep us up on such important news. Oh wait, isn’t this site pretty much that?

    Fuck!

  40. Kent permalink
    August 9, 2013 5:54 pm

    Some of you guys would do well to respect Joseph Bloch, a man whose cranium has evolved to house a cranky magical essence which supersedes the lobes of porridge formerly in residence.

    What have you to lose? Hedge your bets. A man who is half god, half cartoon may just be able to make the earth’s skin tremble and buckle beneath your feet while he sleeps with clenched fists, dreaming of vengeance for schoolboy taunts.

  41. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 9, 2013 7:26 pm

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=62555

    Glad to announce that my boy Layander (he of sleeping under the kitchen table because his bitch dumped him fame) has not fucked-off from Dragonsdork forums as he promised weeks ago when picked on by the bully boys there. He is back with a supreme vengence with yet another of his wonderous musings.

    • Skanka the Hutt permalink
      August 9, 2013 8:31 pm

      Let’s make some references to politics and then admonish people to leave the real world out of it. Because that was a stellar idea.

      • Kilgore Trout permalink
        August 10, 2013 5:11 pm

        It’s like someone crossbred Sisters of Mercy with The Village People!

      • August 12, 2013 7:48 am

        Thought experiment! You have three threads:

        1. Labia the Tattooed Lady. Show split or get out. Beavers in all states, from rabid through dewy to full-on dentata (shopped).

        2. Gaming with Kiddies. Crowdsource d1000 EXTREME new rituals for Carcosa here!

        3. Real Person Stats. Vladimir Putin, the fucking Iron Lady, other famous politicians done up as NPCs “compatible with classic games.”

        Which one does Papers & Paychecks move like lightning to shut down fastest on his various fine and upstanding forums? Which one drags on for years? Which one brings the clicky-click?

  42. Timothy permalink
    August 10, 2013 7:54 am

    God damn, this is the greatest picture of Joe Blochhead Le Gay ever! Posted upthread by YDIS and Dumb Dungeon, but reposted here so people don’t have to scroll through comments to find it:

    It’s like Davy Crockett got into black metal!

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      August 10, 2013 8:51 am

      Is that the kind of guy Thor is looking forward to having at his table in Valhalla?

      Poor Thor. Verily!

      • Aos permalink
        August 10, 2013 10:05 am

        I’ve had some real life contact with cummunity theatre rejects like this (it was the 80’s, cut me a break). I’d bet money that he has a circle of equally delusional friends and they all pay lip service to their mutual bullshit, pretending to believe in each other’s delusions in exchange for the same from the rest of the crew. The same way a catpiss man might convince himself he’s cool because he has an asymetrical haircut; a lot of other catpiss men think he’s cool and he has touched a woman’s breast on occasion.
        It is a sad fucking way to live. Foorsooth.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 11, 2013 7:46 pm

        I say thee GAY!

  43. August 10, 2013 8:11 am

    Interestingly, some rudimentary Wikipedia research shows that male practitioners of Seiðr, which Bloch claims to be, “brought a social taboo, known as ergi, on to themselves, and were sometimes persecuted as a result.”

    “Ergi,” of course, is an Old Norse term of insult “denoting effeminancy or other unmanly behavior.”

    Further words escape me.

    • David Howarth permalink
      August 10, 2013 10:58 am

      Pick up a copy of “Iron Age Myth and Materiality” by Hedeager or “The Viking World” anthology put out by Routledge, for all of the sordid “dirt” on male seiðr practitioners.

      The basic notion for those less fascinated with extinct nordic tribal religions is that at least some seiðr rituals probably involved mummified horse penises used, ahem, onanistically. The so-called “vikings” (read “snow brigands who didn’t have the sense to emigrate to Britain”) were VERY judgmental about homosexuality or anything that remotely resembled it, so Seið-men were the epitome of ritual uncleanness. But that’s sort of the point; you’d have to be one ballsy, brazen mofo to do that sort of stuff and then stand toe-to-toe with “Hrothgar” at the Thing and dare him to say something about it. In a culture of folks who were willing to do just about anything, no matter how murderous, and didn’t see the inhabitants of the next village over as human beings, I imagine there’d be significant reputational cache and intimidation value in being a shaman who went step further and would actually stick a freeze-dried horse penis up his anus…

  44. Skanka the Hutt permalink
    August 10, 2013 4:53 pm

    Transparent and pathetic attempt to solicit free shit from his “fans”.

    http://gorgonmilk.blogspot.com/2013/08/voyeurism-ggmlks-rpgnow-wishlist.html

    • Skanka the Hutt permalink
      August 10, 2013 5:01 pm

      To be fair, I am not sure you can search wish lists at RPGNow. But who the fuck cares what is on his wish list?

      • Lamentations of Gygax's Ghost permalink
        August 10, 2013 7:23 pm

        Blogging eventually turns to begging one way or another. Hey, YDIS, I have a punched copy of They’ve Invaded Pleasantville and an unpunched Revolt on Antares that Jamal was begging for awhile back when he was waxing nostalgicabout the TSR pocket games and nicely telling his sycophants to send them to him now. You want to start a campaign about how you hate wargames but would really love to have these in your collection? Isn’t it about time the wildly successful YDIS started getting kickbacks for all his tireless work?

      • August 10, 2013 10:07 pm

        I’m just waiting for the holiday season.

  45. Dumb Dungeon permalink
    August 10, 2013 11:19 pm

    Has the rather brilliant dissection of LotFPs latest ventures by TotGaD (yes, these abbreviation must be stopped) been posted before? http://talesofthegrotesqueanddungeonesque.blogspot.com/2013/08/lotfp-snopesnomicon-adventure.html
    That’s some serious satire, there. But why the bile? Has the bad blood from Jacks scathing review of “The Unplayable from Beyond Space and Time” flown over or is it more him ridiculing “The Island of Doctor Geoffrey” that has made them enemies? Spill, gossip mag of the OSR, we know you know!

    • Jack permalink
      August 11, 2013 5:54 am

      I wouldn’t call it bad blood per se, but I think it’s right to review things honestly–so when I think a LotoFAP thing sucks, I say it sucks. LotoFAP fans, being the crying-est fanbase in the OSR, tend to disagree that I have the right to slam their fap-books and usually dive-bomb my blog soon afterward. Usually their comments are full of misspellings and mutilated grammar, but I leave it to the reader to draw an inference there.

      I have, however, blocked a lot of the LotoFAP heavy-hitters on G+ for various forms of being insufferable:
      – Raggi doesn’t do much more than shill his perpetually-late and generally unsatisfying books.
      – Zak behaves pretty much as documented above in his ban notice from ‘net. (Interestingly, when I posted Ettin’s ban on G+ no one stepped forward to defend him this time. People either except that he’s a jerk but somehow worth keeping around because he “interesting” or also seem to agree that he’s better not seen and not heard.)
      – Geoffrey is a creepy Confederacy apologist libertarian and I’d be more comfortable if he was made to wear an ankle monitor at all times.
      – Grim Desborough is desperate for attention and can only get it by saying “shocking” things to people who should know better at this point.
      – If Poag was on there, I’d block him too.

      So yeah, no bile really, it’s just a combination of “I calls ’em as I sees ’em” and “these guys seem badly damaged and also tedious.” In the case of the post linked above, I wanted people to see that there’s nothing genius about the premises of LotoFAP adventures; you can steal the puerile urban legends from Snopes and have the same results with a little re-skinning. (And without the crowd-funding blitz, of course.)

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        August 11, 2013 12:16 pm

        I like the new logo for LotFP.

      • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
        August 11, 2013 4:31 pm

        I wouldn’t call it bad blood per se, but I think it’s right to review things honestly–so when I think a LotoFAP thing sucks, I say it sucks.

        Now, THAT, my good fellow, is PURE COMEDY GOLD (open gaming content).

      • Dumb Dungeon permalink
        August 11, 2013 11:38 pm

        You just keep doing what you’re doing, Jack.

  46. Kent permalink
    August 11, 2013 4:34 am

    Zak’s tone of voice in this made me laugh.

    Sonorous weary reflections of a hetero-fag whose ever-rightness gives him sadface.

    http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.ie/2013/08/boring-and-wrong-go-together.html

    • Jack permalink
      August 11, 2013 5:57 am

      It’s funny to accuse other people of “foaming at the mouth” while at the same time frothing over on your blog about how they’ll never be remembered, and Tipper Gore, and punk rawk. It’s nearly a ventriloquist act.

    • August 11, 2013 6:31 am

      That’s a fucking brave Brave Exit Speech. His obsession with Tipper Gore is hilarious. I didn’t know anyone actually considered her menacing since Frank Zappa died 20 years ago. What other mid-80s icons lurk deep in his personal nightmare gallery? Neidermeyer in any classic Twisted Sister video? Sloth from the fucking Goonies? The dogs in Suburbia?

      Also my subscription to this thing you remember fondly from your childhood called “Spin magazine” expired awhile back, old man.

      • Jack permalink
        August 11, 2013 6:43 am

        “Tipper Gore” plays well with the grognard dudes that follow him because the 1980s were their heyday. It conjures images of their moms throwing out their Judas Priest albums and their pastors going on about how D&D is Satan’s own game.

        It rustles the jimmies of the unblown in just the right way.

      • Shitty McTits permalink
        August 11, 2013 8:20 am

        Frank Zappa died 20 years ago?!? That can’t possibly be right. Nah, it was only…

        FUCK.

        Fuck you, YDIS, for reminding me of my creeping mortality.

    • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
      August 11, 2013 12:33 pm

      Jumping Fucking Christ on a Cracker! Can he whine any more about his hurt feelings?
      These fucking kids these days, I dunno.

    • Timothy permalink
      August 12, 2013 6:45 am

      Yeah, that “foaming at the mouth” line is so loaded with irony, that I can’t believe Zak didn’t turn into a neutron star. He became what he hated a long time ago.

      Also from the Attack:

      “The uncreatives can’t ever win in the long run.”

      So is this an explicit admission that the blOwSR is doomed? Unless cut-n-paste is now considered to be Creative…

      • August 12, 2013 11:19 am

        One of the funniest (in both the “ha ha” and Jack Chick weird HAW HAW sense) things about that little tirade is how he very s-u-b-t-l-y aligns himself and his fans against the creatives. This guy Lint cares about the old war stories. The visiting geniuses care about the old war stories. As some drone consumer who buys CDs and shit, Zak couldn’t be assed to care about those old fucks’ war stories. He wants to remember the work. He wants to consume the product.

        Wuh? I thought Zak was the bold creative out there replacing stale art with fresh art, making his mark on history and “wrestling with the muse” (on Mandy’s good days). But this is written from the POV of somebody looking through old fucking CDs, not somebody invested in the creative process. What gives?

        P.S. I thought he was going to talk about some games and stuff yesterday.

    • Lightning Lord permalink
      August 12, 2013 11:15 am

      Zak really needs to shut the fuck up and post more tables inspired by Walt Simonson Thor comics.

  47. Kent permalink
    August 11, 2013 10:59 am

    Here’s an idea: Why don’t we make a thing out of Zak’s name so everyone could use it to mean *do something like a cranky pretentious hetero-fag & not in a good way*.

    So for example, John Doe was zakking (or zakessing ?) about some dorky shit, making out it was the best shit ever and exhibited a temper tantrum with his flexible wrists and eyes when he was contradicted.

    This idea I gift to the community. Im leaning towards ‘zakessing’. There is a touch of the hairdresser about it.

  48. August 11, 2013 3:45 pm

    Jamal is the pope of the OSR so surely Zack Attack must see himself as the Jello Biafra of the OSR, right? Course Zach is getting to that receding punque hairline stage of life (see Wattie of the Exploited and his mohawk that starts at the back of his skull) and no doubt puts on his ‘I Blow Minds for a Living’ cassette to fuel his righteous indignation towards someone finally, mercifully telling him sternly to shut the fuck up.

    Jack does sum up nicely that the supposed ‘edgy’ people of roleplaying are also the biggest titty-babies in this niche hobby as well.

    • I don't want to live on this planet anymore permalink
      August 11, 2013 8:51 pm

      Zack might see himself as Jello but he’s really Harley Flanagan. In all his douchbagery.

    • Timothy permalink
      August 12, 2013 6:46 am

      Zak is the Tipper Gore of the OSR.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 12, 2013 7:22 am

      I always thought of Zak as the Vanilla Ice of the blOwSR.

      • Timothy permalink
        August 12, 2013 7:53 am

        Hmmm…Tipper Ice?

      • Lightning Lord permalink
        August 12, 2013 11:12 am

        He thinks he’s Andres Serrano, but he’s really one of those contestants from that show Work of Art. You know, those guys who always said their crap (literally painted in shit sometimes too) was always about sex, no matter what.

    • Lightning Lord permalink
      August 12, 2013 11:14 am

      Yeah, I agree that “edgy” RPG people are the biggest, whinest babies. Look at James Desborough.

  49. Kent permalink
    August 12, 2013 1:36 am

    Rank the forums:

    odd74 — not bad — 6/10

    theRPGsite — so much chat, so little content, not enough trolling — 3/10

    dragonsfoot — incomprehensible gibberish — was 7/10 in 2009 now 1/10

    Knights Knaves Alehouse — more like a ditch village idiots are thrown into to die — 0/10

    • Timothy permalink
      August 12, 2013 6:49 am

      I don’t belive it is coincidental that the only forum that didn’t ban kent multiple times gets a favorable review from him.

      Still, this is probably accurate in order of suckitude, if not numerical designation.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 12, 2013 7:21 am

      Kent was devastated when he was rejected by the RPG Shite so he crawled back here through a puddle of his own feces. He thought he finally found a home only to be rejected once again. Always on the outside looking in. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Or something like that.

      • Timothy permalink
        August 12, 2013 7:54 am

        According to the well-informed Kent’s Rectum, he seems to be a bride with some regularity.

      • Kent permalink
        August 12, 2013 9:53 am

        AS, no one likes you.

        Tiny Tim, you are kinda like a balloon cluelessly blowing this way and that with a farting noise coming out now and then.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 12, 2013 10:16 am

        If by “everyone” you mean Francie and yourself, then you are correct Kent.
        But we do like your talking poop chute better that you, if that helps.

      • Kent permalink
        August 12, 2013 10:49 am

        AS is a person whom no one has ever liked and this makes him very angry indeed.

      • August 12, 2013 11:45 am

        I like Arneson’s Spectre but we’re a creative duo after all. Can’t have one without the other I suppose. Although I think AS riffs a lot better than myself.

  50. Lightning Lord permalink
    August 12, 2013 11:08 am

    Yeah yeah, Raggi is a shitlord, but I don’t care about his personal life or lack thereof. I just want his terrible game to go away. As a 13 year old drawing Eddie from Iron Maiden on everything, I would have found it to be embarrassing.

    He can continue to fart out charts though, the Esoteric Creature Generator is pretty decent.

  51. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 12, 2013 11:55 am

    Did that sideshow geek Zak really make some comment suggesting he is going to be well remembered? Really, is it that important to be remembered by a couple thousand gametards? His blog has just over a thousand followers. Local foodie review and cooking blogs often have a following in the 10’s of thousands. Somebody really needs to force some perspective on this dipshit. Whether he has anything important to say about gaming or shits out the occasional useful chart or city setting crap or whatever (though I find nothing of use in any of his shit), bottom line it is his dubious claims to pornstarhood and an association with such “stars” that got and gets him most of his attention. See, many gamers, especially those forum-active ones, are losers who know not the feel of an unpaid mouth upon their nads. They were the perfect crowd to get raised upon shoulders by. And he tussles and fusses with much of that crowd, just so long as he has supporters to come nod and defend on his blog he can feel on top of the world. That same exact thing happend with Jamal for different reasons, and look where that landed him? This current kurfuffle is minor. Zak is going to have a Jamal level meltdown in the future that is going to make our heads spin.

    • Kent permalink
      August 12, 2013 12:35 pm

      Im waiting for his porn-kindof-star Alice to come out before giving him a bit of the old ultracritical. I can’t imagine an artistically weaker depiction of ALICE than sex weary women approaching middle age dressing up as Halo Jones.

  52. August 12, 2013 3:21 pm

    Yeah, Zaach’s Alice… Wow… Can’t wait… Don’t have to wait actually. It’s called Dungeonland and it’s a pretty fucking dire module. Some people may have liked it but it was just not good at all.

  53. Timothy permalink
    August 13, 2013 6:34 am

    Anybody know anything about IRWS? He really rocked the blOwSR and then disapeared. Hope the Pope’s faithful didn’t track him down.

  54. Dumb Dungeon permalink
    August 13, 2013 9:38 am

    Soo now Raggi wants “pictures of YOU wearing one of your LotFP shirts for inclusion in a collage!” to be included in the future referee book. So if the art and writing doesn’t scare new customers away, this surely will.

    • August 13, 2013 9:47 am

      Got to get a piece of that action! Speaking of which, any interest in sending a YDIS table to one of the gary cons next year? Free giveaways, staffed by burly transvestites, the sky’s the limit.

      • Kent permalink
        August 13, 2013 11:29 am

        Now *that* is funny.

        Id travel to the states so I could turn up at a convention with a gang of cynics in halloween costume & ydis forehead tattoo/t-shirt to meet in PERSON some of these lummoxes and steal Zak’s lunch money.

    • Lightning Lord permalink
      August 13, 2013 6:49 pm

      Ah, so he’s stealing ideas from Goodman Games again.

  55. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 13, 2013 12:06 pm

    Bloodymage, why aren’t you coming up with sure fire marketing ideas like getting all your fans to take photos in your company T-shirts and use them in a collage? I mean, you have sold at least a few of the shirts, right? Right? Blooey? Hello?

    • doctor proctor permalink
      August 14, 2013 5:27 pm

      T-shirts? Fuck that. Let’s see a collage of the blooeymage faithful sporting their blooeymage official thongs!

  56. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 13, 2013 12:18 pm

    http://osrcon.ca/

    Pics of faces you cannot unsee. Gaze upon the grizzled, cartoonish, fuzzy mugs of Greenwood and Mentzer and curse my first born child for forcing you to gaze into the abyss.

    I would have the caption read “Ladies, which would you say was the most thick and cloying smell coming off of Greenwoood? Sweaty underarm, underwiped buttcrack, or catpiss? Guess correctly and win a chance to have Ken St. Andre ruin your game.

    Or maybe “Fear The Beard!”

    • unclecarbuncle permalink
      August 13, 2013 3:03 pm

      POLHEADRON GAMES AN & MAGZINE NOW THESE FUCKS PLAYS SOM DD BEST YOU FUCKS

    • bad wolf permalink
      August 14, 2013 12:27 pm

      Poor osrcon guy… if you read through his blog for the past year you see his growing alarm at the disappearance of JaMal, who was to be the main publicity generator as well as the original guest of honor.

  57. Timothy permalink
    August 14, 2013 7:11 am

    Ok, the paladins of the OSR crushed the little Aussie housewife for plagarizing – how about one of their own?

    http://realmsofchirak.blogspot.com/2013/08/shaddizhar-kingdom-of-nomads.html

    Shadizar the wicked is the capital of Zamora – created by Robert E. Howard. The Appendix N fetishists cannot claim to be unfamiliar with him. This faggot takes the name and uses it in his own publication.

    Also, Arenjun is the name for Zamora’s City of Thieves, though Howard never used it – it was a later name used by Roy Thomas in Marvel’s Conan.

    So lets see if Sean Patrick Fanny pops in with his “Evil/offended me and mine to the core” rant, or if Euronymous Crockett takes time from his pansy seoir rituals to launch a G+ jihad, or Lesbian Witch Boy mounts his charger.

    After all, he is making money from his “creation.” Not having bought his cut-n-paste Realms of Shitak, I can’t help but wonder how many other Howardian names he has stolen.

    • August 14, 2013 7:51 am

      For some mysterious reason every town in the Ament Tundra (map 14 in the old Judges Guild campaign before the Necromancer team peed on it) was originally named after a town or country in the Elric books. Hell, there was even an island of “Melnabone” up in “the Wine Dark Sea.” Oops! Was the late great Bob Bledsaw a high-level thief or are the intellectual paladins just rank hypocrites in a hobby defined by burglary (not the turd kind, that’s a spielberg movie).

  58. Bob's Cunt permalink
    August 14, 2013 2:59 pm

    http://unto-the-breach.blogspot.com/2013/08/who-will-weep-for-lost-grognardia.html

    Someone is missing Jmal sumtin fierce.

    • Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
      August 14, 2013 3:29 pm

      Maybe Jmal will revive the blog in order to do an in-depth assessment of the thief class.

    • August 14, 2013 3:54 pm

      Someone needs to tell that kid mid-December to mid-August is only eight months. And to save his nostalgia for the “Must See” NBC Thursday night lineup or some shit that matters like that.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 15, 2013 6:20 am

      The Degenerate Elite in the comments sums Jmal and Grogturdia up nicely. I quickly lost count of the number of times JMal started one of his “nostalgia” posts with “I never played this game…” or “I remember hearing of this…” or “I remember seeing this on a shelf once when my mommy drove me to the game store…”

      He was never a real “grognard” either, coming to the hobby late like in 1984 or something as a young effeminate child.

      Fortunately Grogturdia is a flushed turd in a blOwSR sea of unflushed floaters. Mediocrity and pseudointellectualism best forgotten.

  59. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 15, 2013 7:42 am

    And Blooeymage’s Polyhedron Games web site is gone, replaced with a GoDaddy expiration notice past due. Maybe Blooey should do a Kickstarter to come up with the $7.99 renewal fee, or take on a few more investors as partners to split the cost.

    Or maybe we should do him a favor and snatch it up out from under him.

  60. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 15, 2013 9:44 am

    PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

    Just a reminder to all the unblown social retards and rejects about to descend upon Indianapolis: Rape is WRONG, m’kay? So don’t be raping. And LOOK but DON’T TOUCH. Just because she’s dressed up in a Princess Leia slave outfit doesn’t mean you are suddenly allowed to grab her tits or ass.

    And NO MEANS NO, PERIOD. And trust me, you unbathed unwiped buttcrack catpiss smelling rejects are going to hear that word NO an awfully lot this weekend!

  61. "Grim" Jim Decapus permalink
    August 15, 2013 12:56 pm

    A few threads back, someone linked to gamer-lifestyle.com and we all had a good larf. Well, a friend of mine signed up for the mailing list, just to see what might spew forth from Johnn Four and Co. She got an email this morning from Señor Four with a client-submitted request for critiques and forwarded my way. I’ve been a long-time lurker here at YDIS (because, hey, that’s what decapodes do), but this was too good not to share. As Fourr put it, “I normally offer critiques and consulting just for Gamer Lifestyle Course members, but I thought it would be fun to get everybody involved in one today (AJ gave me the ok to do this).”

    A.J. wants to know why he’s having trouble getting the word out about his boardgame design online, when it’s been very well-received whenever he demos it in person. This is the page in question: http://www.racialwar.net/battle_kings.html

    Now, I’m no PR hack, but my first guess here is that, oh, you really might want to rethink the whole “racialwar.net” domain. Just miiiiiight give people the wrong idea about your game’s agenda.

    “Gee, I can’t figure out why I can’t drive more traffic to my racialwar.net domain. Oh yeah, on a related note, racialwar.com was already registered by someone else for some reason… I hope they’re not planning to steal my design!”

    • August 15, 2013 1:37 pm

      Actually, among the types of humans in the game, there are ‘Darkbloods’ and ‘Purebloods.’ So maybe it’s giving people the right idea after all?

      • Jack permalink
        August 15, 2013 2:46 pm

        And of course the “Darkbloods” are rapebabies. Some sample background fluff: “Denizens of other realms would find that human women, particularly maidens were above all other mortal races, like delicacies to their loins.”

        How are these guys so unsocialized that they don’t realize that this shit is the worst ideas ever?

      • August 15, 2013 4:38 pm

        Does Planet Motherfucker have its evil monsters yet? “You are like delicacy to my loin” sounds like something the Mexican Jefe would say.

      • "Grim" Jim Decapus permalink
        August 15, 2013 3:55 pm

        So clearly this guy just needs to start shopping his ideas around on Dragonsfoot and he’ll be G2G.

      • August 15, 2013 4:28 pm

        Great, I clicked the link and now I’m on a Southern Poverty Law Center watch list. Thanks a lot guys.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 16, 2013 9:08 pm

        Demon raped. Demon is just code for “nonwhite”, right? I mean that’s the impression I got.

        And Hactosphere? Really? His wife isn’t the only one who doesn’t know what the fuck he is talking about.

      • Edition Wars of the Id permalink
        August 18, 2013 2:02 am

        Think this was the guy trying to get a GURPS license to release GURPS The Turner Diaries source book. What fucking cons has he been showing this game at to get such praise? I imagine them all happening in metal sheds in the Idaho backcountry.

    • August 15, 2013 4:25 pm

      Now this is wonderful stuff. Kent, please take notes — this is how Show & Tell is done at YDIS Elementary School. I am *THIS CLOSE* to ordering the book that spawned this multimedia juggernaut:

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        August 15, 2013 5:20 pm

        Hmmm, Souther accent…shaved head…DANGER WILL ROBINSON!

        I like the part where’s he’s all “My wife didn’t understand what I was talking about.”

      • Kent permalink
        August 15, 2013 6:27 pm

        I painted a face on a boiled egg before but I haven’t been able to make the mouth move like that.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 15, 2013 10:28 pm

        This AJ guy is a MARKETING MACHINE! I think I’m going to pick the kids up some Racial War sippy cups from the Racial War online store pronto:

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 15, 2013 10:40 pm

      Oh, and let me know what advice Johnn Four has for him regarding the domain name. I’m trying to get my rpg STORMFRONT: THE HOLOCAUST off the ground and somebody is sitting on all the stormfront domain names, I can’t imagine what for! I hope they aren’t planning on copying my idea. I had to take the only thing that was left at GoDaddy – niggersandkikes dot com.

      • "Grim" Jim Decapus permalink
        August 16, 2013 1:16 pm

        The email was sent out today. Shockingly, there is absolutely no mention of the domain name or content of the game/fiction line. Here’s the response in full:

        Yesterday we looked at a board game product page to help reader AJ O’Connell out.

        Here is my list of things I’d do first, AJ, to munchkin it:

        1) Install Google Analytics

        I looked at your source code and saw you don’t have GA installed.

        Create an account, get the code snippet from the tool, and paste the snippet into your footer.

        Then GA will tell you how many visitors your page is getting.

        You need this number to figure out if your changes are earning you +1 or costing you -1.

        2) Use Google Content Experiments

        I also see you don’t have any split testing tracking installed.

        You need a way to find out what changes get you more +1s.

        The fastest and most scientific way to do this is through split testing, also known as A/B testing.

        You offer half your visitors one version, the rest a second version, and see which gets better results.

        It’s like arena combat for Gamer Lifestylers.

        “Two pages enter. Only one leaves.”

        I use Visual Website Optimizer to do my A/B testing, but that’s an expensive tool, though it’s simple to use and offers rich insights.

        A free tool is Google Content Experiments.

        Regardless of how you decide to split test, get testing today.

        3) Use more photos

        A lot of suggestions came in yesterday about how to improve the page, and one common piece of feedback was to show more of the game.

        I agree.

        First, provide clear, big, HD pics of all the game pieces.

        Second, have pics with people in them playing the game.

        Kill both birds by playing a game with friends and taking pics as the game unfolds.

        If you have any tech hurdles to posting big, beautiful game photos online, just use Pinterest. It’s free, public and easy to use.

        Oh, and pick the best pic and make it an awesome hero shot top and centre of your page. Like the one you’ve got now, but with people in it, not posed, but actually playing and having a good time.

        4) List the price

        It’s the #1 question people have.

        “How much does it cost?”

        And don’t depend on visitors clicking that cart button to find out.

        In his awesome book, Don’t Make Me Think, Steve Krug hammers home the lesson of giving customers what they want without friction so you don’t repel them.

        Each small barrier makes people lose interest.

        Answer this question without a risky button click.

        5) Give a reason to buy now

        There’s a billion things competing for all of our time, attention and money.

        A portion of visitors will not be interested and leave. It’s just the way it is, regardless of whether you are running Amazon, the Apple Store or Nike’s product pages.

        Our goal is to minimize this group, but it will never get to zero.

        Another portion will love your game and buy it now. Your True Fans will do this.

        The rest of your visitors will fall into the interested pile, but will defer.

        They’ll bookmark, leave the tab open for later, make a mental note, email themselves the link.

        But they won’t buy now.

        And then you’ve probably lost them (unless you have a great newsletter they’re subscribed to).

        However, you can win over a lot of these deferrers by offering a great reason to buy the game right now.

        Provide a compelling bonus or special offer with scarcity, and I guarantee your sales will go up.

        Those are my five pieces of advice.

        This is serious stuff. Munchkining your product page is not only worth your time, it is a very valuable and exciting skill to build.

        It is far easier, faster, smarter and profitable to learn how to sell more products to your existing traffic than it is to try to generate ever more traffic to assault your pages.

        It’s high leverage for your business, and therefore a key part of your Gamer Lifestyle.

        It’s nearly the weekend – a great time to relax, read and learn this stuff.

        Please become a Gamer Lifestyle Member and finally take action on your dream of publishing your RPG work the smart way.

        Let me help you Munchkin your life for more +1s:
        http://www.gamer-lifestyle.com/rpg-publishing-course/

        Cheers,

        Johnn Four
        RPG Consultant,
        Gamer Lifestyle

        P.S. I was impressed by all the ideas sent in to improve AJ’s page.

        Even if you aren’t considering becoming a Gamer Lifestyle Member, I’d LOVE to get your thoughts on how I could improve my membership course sales page.

        I humbly submit my page for your critiques:
        http://www.gamer-lifestyle.com/rpg-publishing-course/

      • Timothy permalink
        August 17, 2013 8:39 am

        That Four guy has to be a total spineless idiot. Yeah, if you put the price of a game called Racial War front and center, people are far more likely to purchase it than if you have to go to a subpage to find said price.

        His service must be fucking useless. All he has to do is market it to the proper customers. Stormfront, the Aryan Brotherhood, Texas, etc.

      • August 17, 2013 9:32 am

        Jeezus. If “google analytics” is the sum of his highly compensated marketing expertise it sounds like somebody’s finally delivering higher fucking value than Skarka. (SKAAAAARKAAAAAA!)

        Do racist preppers have the endless free time to set up a fucking board game with three kinds of dwarves, four kinds of elves and three separate types of something called a “fialt?” I thought they were more of the charismatic jock football player type, in which case surely they’re too too busy nailing white cheerleaders, getting drunk on beer and hazing nerds to enter OUR kind of complex fantasy world.

        Although Texas and “Doomsday Castle” so maybe I’m wrong and those guys are dying for a new game for club or family night — or just hanging around the surplus store between rounds of “shooting the shit” and “shooting at shit.”

      • Shitty McTits permalink
        August 17, 2013 9:51 am

        I am pretty sure the racist preppers aren’t actually the charismatic jock football player types, no matter how much they want to be. They’re the waterboy and coach’s assistant types. I think their sex is less about the cheerleaders and more about covertly getting nailed by the non-white linemen and hoping their Sunday School students don’t find out.

      • August 17, 2013 9:55 am

        Oh, those guys can handle three kinds of fialts you betcha. So fuck, how can we come up with a complex fantasy world that can bring in the charismatic jock football players? That’s what this guy needs. I’d ask noisome but he only argues to show off the size of his brain or to attract a mate or something.

    • Skanka the Hutt permalink
      August 16, 2013 8:37 pm

      I’d definitely suggest he promote at KKKAlehouse. That vargr guy would eat that up like shit on toast.

  62. August 15, 2013 3:39 pm

    After 8 months relationship with my boyfriend, he changed suddenly and stopped contacting me regularly, he would come up with excuses of not seeing me all the time. He stopped answering my calls and my sms and he stopped seeing me regularly. I then started catching him with different girls friends several times but every time he would say that he love me and that he needed some time to think about our relationship. But after l contacted Dr. TRUST of spell cast temple he cast a love spell and after a day, my boyfriend started contacting me regularly and we moved in together after a few months and he was more open to me than before and he started spending more time with me than his friends. We eventually got married and we now have been married happily for 3 years with a son. Ever since Dr. TRUST of ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM helped me, my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before. My Facebook address is paul kite

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 15, 2013 4:14 pm

      Kent?

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      August 15, 2013 4:16 pm

      Can Dr. Trust cast Dispel Magic on anything Joe Bloch sends my way? I’m worried about Norse black magic.

    • August 15, 2013 4:21 pm

      I hope Rients can stat up Dr. TRUST of spell cast temple in time for the next FLAILSNAILS game.

    • Skanka the Hutt permalink
      August 16, 2013 9:00 pm

      Dr. Trust helped you and your boyfriend get happily married with a son? What a sick fuck.

  63. Bob's Cunt permalink
    August 16, 2013 5:45 am

    http://greyhawkgrognard.blogspot.com/2013/08/a-convention-prudery-counter-current.html

    I’m just gonna let this one speak for itself. . .

    • Timothy permalink
      August 16, 2013 6:21 am

      Very difficult to take any “man” seriously in his arguments when he is bouncing up and down on a frozen horse penis as he types.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 16, 2013 11:10 am

      So the anti-sex Religious Right Christians and Muslims are considered Liberal groups now? Wow, Joe Blockhead has really been drinking up the Tea Bagger Party Kool-Aid…

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        August 16, 2013 12:37 pm

        Makes you wonder: for all of his supposed Norse black magic power, why is an African-American Democrat still president?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 16, 2013 12:46 pm

        I know, right? Joe Blockhead must not have inserted the frozen horse penis deep enough when he was casting his witchypoo spells to help Mitt Romney. Maybe he should use Kent’s Rectum as a familiar next time? Come to think of it, I hope Kent doesn’t discover Norse black magic!

      • Timothy permalink
        August 16, 2013 1:52 pm

        Far be it from me to mock somebody’s dumbass religion, but if Odin does exist, he is probably laughing too hard at Blockhead to get serious enough to grant him any spells. Either that, or so ashamed at his contemporary priesthood, that he is too despondent to get rid of the black guy.

        Or hell, maybe Odin has had a change of heart, what with over a thousand years for reflection, and joined the feminist brigade.

        Whatever the reason for his god’s non-participation, Witchiepoo’s magical impotence is a glory to behold.

      • Kent's Rectum permalink
        August 16, 2013 2:40 pm

        Now that you mention it, Kent’s been popping a lot of chubbies lately when he reads YDIS…

  64. Skanka the Hutt permalink
    August 16, 2013 8:58 pm

    So, having tackled the riveting world of silhouettes and creating an entire dungeon that consists only of confusing, shitty images, Telecanter has decided to comment on the layout of a book he hasn’t read and for a game system he does not know. And he does so in a post that rivals any of Alexass’ for length. Though this post is just as exciting as what that fat fuck usually offers at the Poo of D&D.

    http://recedingrules.blogspot.com/2013/08/thoughts-on-design-example.html

    Fortunately that antisocial fucktard, noisms, is there to dust off Telecanter’s cock.

    Now, whether or not he has a point is sort of immaterial. This guy has to run the most fucking boring blog in the OSR.

    But maybe I am still a bit bitter that Autarch used his shitty, free images for ACKS in lieu of getting a real artist to do their monster art. But does crap like this really hold any value?

    http://recedingrules.blogspot.com/2013/08/visual-dungeon-challenge.html

    • Ritter permalink
      August 17, 2013 12:01 pm

      Oh my fucking god. Worst. Monster. Ever. Gamers are generally a bunch of unimaginative retards who fancy themselves ‘creative.’

      http://recedingrules.blogspot.com/2011/01/angel-of-geometry.html

      • Shitty McTits permalink
        August 17, 2013 12:24 pm

        Not even close.

        http://goo.gl/5h0Xv6

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 17, 2013 6:30 pm

        I would dress that pyramid monster up Zak Princess style by giving it some edgy tattoos, like the numbers one through four, one on each side. Then I would give it the Geoffrey Carcosa treatment by making it murder rape a baby. Finally, I would Raggify it by making it made out of feces for the weird factor.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 17, 2013 9:50 pm

        I fell asleep about two words into that blog entry. I’m telling you, there are few bloggers as fucking boring as Telecanter. All he needs to do is start reviewing old Polyhedrons or some shit for his blog to become truly useless.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 17, 2013 10:04 pm

        To really take it to the next, Raggi level you can force any character that touches the shit pyramid to wake up in the middle of the night and go on a cockblade fucking spree for Satan. The only way to break the curse is to go all Poag and do some weird shit with orc feces.

        Poag is integral to any kind of “mature” RPG.

  65. Skanka the Hutt permalink
    August 16, 2013 9:22 pm

    Twinkie connoisseur and goblin king, Jason Zavoda (along with The Degenerate Elite) question whether Frog God and Goodman should be allowed into the exclusive OSR club.

    http://www.tenkarstavern.com/2013/08/besides-frog-god-and-goodman-games-are.html?showComment=1376525047330#c6270282342519913541

    • Timothy permalink
      August 17, 2013 8:35 am

      Jason “Nosnra was framed, God Damnit!” Zavoda used to be friends with the Frog God guy. Now that the friendship is over, Frog God is officially non-OSR. Because the OneTrueWayist has spoken.

      The Degenerate Effette is a Raggi butt-boy, so there is nothing else for him either.

      Fuck those faggots. And the blOwSR.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 17, 2013 9:56 pm

        That makes sense. The Frog God guy was probably honest about Zavoda’s shitty fanfic. I imagine that sweaty, sick fuck has some Against the Giants slash stories secreted away some place.

      • SparkleMotion permalink
        August 18, 2013 7:42 am

        Link to said Against the Giants rape story? I do enjoy seeing a drow get pounded by a cock the size of an elephants trunk but does not got all the way through them. It’s the little things that get me off

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 18, 2013 9:51 pm

        I understand the fascination but I think Zavoda probably keeps that kind of stuff just for himself.

  66. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 17, 2013 2:10 pm

    Degenerate guy is so obviously a Zak wannabee it’s chilling. He probably watches that one video you can find of Zak limply dribbling a thimble full of jizz (he ain’t no Peter North) on Bendy Mandy and some confused, stoned looking bus station waif several times a day and wacking it in between running solo games for himself in Vornhiem. Would not be suprised if he shows up at some point with half his head shaved like Zak The Drama Princess. But just his current pic for his profile makes me think “Douchebag Elite.”

    Speaking of Zak issues, I don’t keep up with things in the blOwSR as much as others, but since Joe The Lawyer made a huge toodoo about going to The Principessa Zak’s art show in Noo Yawk months ago, he has not mentioned it as far as I can tell. Actually vanished from his blog for over a month after the event. So what gives? I’m obsessed by this. What happened at the art show that he stopped blogging for awhile and later never mentions it. What ever happened in The Big Snapple, Joe ain’t talking. Just the usual mind numbing dork posts.

    • Skanka the Hutt permalink
      August 17, 2013 9:57 pm

      I heard Zak didn’t let Joe stick his dick in the Petrie dish that is Mandy’s cunt.

  67. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 17, 2013 7:44 pm

    Best News out of Gen Con:

    LotFP: No ENnie For You!

    No blOwSR Ennies for anybody!

    Unless you count that indie story game Dungeon World that is – best NEW rules. I’m guessing there is going to be a lot of backpeddling by the unblown in the blOwSR on Dungeon World’s status as an OSR game now that it won an ENnie to try to keep the movement alive and relevant.

    • August 17, 2013 9:12 pm

      Ennies are rigged by Ron Edwards obviously…. OSRtards will dismiss the Ennies as irrelevant to their (bowel) movement anyways. I may lose any credibility (as if I had any being the ghost of the guy that wrote Cyborg FUCKING Commando) but I think Dungeon World deserved it cause it’s a fun fucking game.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 17, 2013 10:08 pm

        Fun is so far removed from anything created by the blOwSR, Dungeon World must be on another planet. I had heard good things about the game. Should really check it out.

  68. Edition Wars of the Id permalink
    August 18, 2013 1:54 am

    Zak has a way of avoiding actual conversation and debate doesn’t he. You got to pity this poor fool trying to even figure out the source of Zak’s Attack on his person. The guy is like …shit man, I was just hoping to discuss this interesting topic and wax a bit poetic on design theory but I see you are busy giving yourself a handjob. Echo chamber egos … how they wail and moan. Zak is a puzzle to me since he has the talent to find an interest subject from time to time, but then he sticks a fork in his own foot and backs into the corner screaming that no one understands him and his genius.

    http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2013/08/jez-asked-about-examples-of-good-rpg.html

    • Dumb Dungeon permalink
      August 18, 2013 2:46 am

      The amount of (crack)pot-calling-the-kettle-black when Zak writes Also: if you have an opinion, don’t pretend it’s fact. is just immeasurable.

    • August 18, 2013 5:40 am

      You stop paying attention to that thread for one single day and when you come back, Zak is reciting all the “logical fallacies” some infidel has committed in a low muttery Aspergers drone. For screen after screen this goes on. I love it.

      The most pathetic thing is of course buried in his latest tantrum. If Vornheim really sold more copies than any OSR product ever then the bar for success is set at a lowly 2000 copies. Granted if Dwimmerfuck actually comes out I can’t imagine Tavis doing more than printing to backers (so about 650 physical copies), but even if there was viable competition within the scene, the actual numbers still suck but don’t swallow on a real world basis.

      Besides, either he’s lying or Raggi is. Better Than Any Squid supposedly got a 9,000 copy print run and is apparently sold out on the LOLFAP site. So has Zak’s appeal to authority been scooped by a promotional freebie? At least he’s finally getting Bradstreet’s fucking name right.

      • Edition Wars of the Id permalink
        August 18, 2013 11:47 am

        Wasn’t Better Than Any Squid a free product? I know I was running late and ran by a local game shop to see what they had at the end of Free RPG Day. They had a whole stack of Raggi’s product to give away. But, apparently no one wanted any. All the good stuff was apparently gone by noon. I thinks Better Than Any Squid may have the highest recycling rate of any OSR product. As for Vornheim I picked up a copy at GenCon a few years back. I found in the the auction room. It hadn’t sold in the auction and ended up on the backroom tables to be bought. I picked it up on Sunday out of curiosity since it was only a couple books. By my reckoning OSR sale numbers may rival vanity poetry chapbooks.

      • August 18, 2013 11:57 am

        How DARE you say that! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!

        OSR stardom is real stardom. And from all appearances it’s so much less stressful than managing a failing art career. IT IS NOT A VANITY NICHE SUPPORTED BY MY PARENTS.

      • Edition Wars of the Id permalink
        August 18, 2013 10:45 pm

        these OSR guys seem to be on the wife gravy train per the Raggi discussion up top. their parents disowning them or long gone. maybe put in a nursing home to rot for all i know. Perhaps that is the source of zak’s issues … he trying to live a double niche life of artist and OSR godhead. that shit has got to wear a man down to an infantile state. though zak may be the child of old money or something like that to justify the amount of time he has to rage on forums and comment threads. a productive member of society has no way to keep up with time investment these guys can manage to dredge up to defend themselves. suddenly they are all professional publishers and authorities in their field. they have passed from farce to pity. sure there are still some blogs I read. the ones that you know still publishing useful stuff to rip off or borrow at leisure. they aren’t delusional – just fans of gaming sharing with other gamers. Hell, even JMal was okay when he stuck to what he knew and published random tidbits about his campaign. once the pope hat went to his head … not so much.

        sorry typed on a phone after drinking. so excuse the typing.

    • Ritter permalink
      August 18, 2013 11:10 am

      I tried to read through the nonsensical hissy fit, but just couldn’t stomach it. Jesus, that boy can whine and clearly has no tolerance for anything other than complete and utter adoration. I can only imagine how he dealt with critiques in art school.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 18, 2013 9:48 pm

        I imagine he spends most of his time strung out on heroin. It is the only logical explanation for his inability to hold a coherent thought or maintain a civil discussion. Well, either heroin or his mind is being ravaged by syphillis. Perhaps both.

        Calling others out for appeals to authority and ad hominem attacks is just perfect irony.

  69. Dildatory Interlude permalink
    August 18, 2013 11:06 am

    An honest review of Raggi’s Fuck For Satan from theRPGshite:

    “I have now received FFS and read it and frankly, it’s rather poor.

    *Here be spoilers*

    It pretty much contains all the things I dislike about James’ writing. Killer dungeons, just for the sake of it. Stupid effects and monsters (like the room that makes the characters shit themselves and then has the poo attacking them?!?), misplaced gonzo (penis monster that is actually an alien) and meta stuff that has effects beyond the scenario (mail your character sheet to James, or fuck with your other scenarios.)

    And the title has nothing to do with 95% of the scenario (yes, there is sadly a serious lack of both fucking and satan).

    And the intro has a long ramble about how awesome it is to fuck with players, create cwazy stuff and be all outrageous and how the scenario was written outta boredom. Yay.”

    • August 18, 2013 11:45 am

      Written out of boredom? I guess Raggi has a lot of free time. It’s not like he has publishing obligations that are still outstanding even though they were funded OVER A YEAR AGO. Oh, wait…

  70. Ritter permalink
    August 18, 2013 11:11 am

    Raggs needs therapy.

    • Dildatory Interlude permalink
      August 18, 2013 1:42 pm

      You could probably convince him to see a therapist because he’d think he was about to take lessons from “the rapist.”

  71. "Grim" Jim Decapus permalink
    August 18, 2013 11:20 am

    I guess the answer to “Who will weep for lost Grognardia?” is…this guy:

    http://unto-the-breach.blogspot.com/2013/08/who-will-weep-for-lost-grognardia.html?showComment=1376848794196#c2497818054335663792

    • Timothy permalink
      August 19, 2013 8:38 am

      “The full demonization of James is now complete.”

      Actually, I think there is a lot more to do before he is fully demonized. But anyone who blames the haterz is not interested in facts and potential, anyway. That guy gets only 2 of 5 “You leave Brittney alone!” guys.

  72. Assie McJerk permalink
    August 18, 2013 4:33 pm

    You know, I was pretty down on this site when it first started, but I think you have Raggi pinned pretty well. The guy is an over-hyped, under-performing, mess of a human being.

  73. Kent permalink
    August 18, 2013 8:20 pm

    I watched a few seasons of 30 Rock in the last few weeks. Tina Fey has a nice ass. I think she’d like me.

    • Skanka the Hutt permalink
      August 18, 2013 9:56 pm

      I hear she is something of a fag hag.

    • Kent permalink
      August 18, 2013 10:14 pm

      Well I can’t quite figure her out. She writes and produces for a show she created, where she portrays herself as a little miss prim thin lips, even mentioning sex to her is “ugh gross!”, and yet on this show she owns in every way, we are treated each episode to the sexual looney tunes of the disgusting harlot Jenna Moroney (ydis a writer for the show?).

      She is something of a sexless tease who would benefit from having her ass governed for a weekend to give her that haunted look I find so alluring.

  74. Kilgore Trout permalink
    August 18, 2013 8:23 pm

    In other news Kent goes sniffing around Middenmurk and discovers he brought an intellectual pocket knife to a gunfight.

    http://middenmurk.blogspot.com.au/2013/04/luxuria-enervat-vires-effoeminat-artus.html?m=1

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 18, 2013 9:21 pm

      RETARD FIGHT!

    • August 18, 2013 9:27 pm

      I know you guys think that guy is the best thing since water-soluble lube but I’d be hard-pressed to call OP a gunfight. Farting contest maybe. Sometimes the Kent wants what the Kent wants.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 18, 2013 10:22 pm

        It was more like a pseudointellectual cat fight. I am very disappointed Kent backed out with his tail between his legs so quickly though against such an easy target, but considering how he drops out of here or pulls down his blog so frequently, I guess it was to be expected.

    • Kent permalink
      August 18, 2013 9:28 pm

      Oh yeah, that was the ‘gunfight’ where when I shouted ‘draw’ the other guy started licking Zak’s buttocks.

      Look. I like clever people. I hang around with them. I just don’t expect to find them in the OSR (or here). And no you still can’t have a copy of Night of the Walking Wet.

      lol

      • August 18, 2013 9:37 pm

        God damn it, Kent, how am I supposed to covet your supposedly amazing fucking new layout of a Jaquays Aqua Boogie Zombie Classic if your site is down again. Pissah!

      • Kent permalink
        August 18, 2013 10:16 pm

        I have been underwhelmed by the restrained and silent coveting.

  75. Kent permalink
    August 19, 2013 2:03 am

    Weirdest terrain thread rpgsite:
    http://www.therpgsite.com/showpost.php?p=680687&postcount=2

    >>Well, in one game set in a variation of Lovecraft’s Dreamlands, there was a huge river of boiling flesh, within which were constantly forming and melting ( or popping like a bubble) the wailing heads of infants, so that the Cacophany of screaming babies immobilized all within several metres<>Crossing this led to the shard steppes of the Stairway of Attrition, winding sideways toward the Bridge of the Gods, a huge spinal column stretching over a foul-smelling abyss that, if one could see clearly enough into the depths, is actually a mile long breeding pit of giant locusts. Their constant hum of kricking legs can lull travelers across the bridge to sleep and toppling to their doom.<<

    –lull to sleep, no less–

    lol

    Reading the rest of the post should deter those thinking of relying on the top of their head as an encyclopedia of creativity.

    • Kent permalink
      August 19, 2013 2:05 am

      –immobilized all within several metres– is even funnier.

    • August 19, 2013 8:59 am

      Talk about middlebrow! My kingdom for an OSR Mad Libs (“Aesthetics of Language” Edgy Edition):

      The _bog_ is _clogged_ by the _severed_ _sweetbreads_ of _babies_ and _bugs_. You feel an overpowering sense of _ennui_ that masks the underlying _vertigo_.

      Oh fuck, did I just give away the Raggi Method? Geoffrey? Anyone?

      “Why are you SUCH a good WRITER?” – Zak S

    • August 19, 2013 9:05 am

      Okay, I had to come back because I tried to read that again and couldn’t make it two lines in. “Boiling flesh” is fucking SOUP. You have pitched me a module about fucking SOUP. With doll heads in it. Waiter! How much do I have to pay to flee around the back?

      • Kent permalink
        August 19, 2013 10:04 am

        What gets me is that **effects** of hell are so banal.

        DM: You encounter Satan. Satan says, ‘Ha! Foolish Idiots! Thou shalt regret coming to hell and sauntering about the place as if it was Sunday!’

        Player: Attack Satan with whichever artifact is handiest on my belt of cosmic magick and carpenters nick nacks.

        DM: Satan pulls a baby from beneath his hat and makes pus come from between its lips. Take two steps back.

  76. Kent permalink
    August 19, 2013 2:18 am

    Here is Zak spitty-mouthing and being called ‘autistic’. Even if Zak was ever right, you still would have to wonder why such a hamster-torrent of words.

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=27361&page=96

  77. Bigby's Lubed Fist permalink
    August 19, 2013 3:08 am

    Shit’s about to get real at GenCon. When this guy runs this old adventure, it won’t take a Sherlock “Blue Book” Holmes to figure out that Raggs’ first adventure could be titled Theft Frost Doom.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 19, 2013 8:07 am

      Zak, it’s not that we think of your art from perspectives of being liberal or conservative, we just universally agree that it sucks ass.

      • August 19, 2013 8:37 am

        Ah, but is there an underlying message of sucking ass or does the art suck ass for its own sake?

        Wasn’t it McLuhan who said, “Art is anything you can get away with”?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 19, 2013 10:58 am

        Marshall McLuhan also said, “the medium is the message”, and Zak’s medium is clearly used toilet paper.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 19, 2013 8:08 am

      Somewhere there is an unblown fatbeard cursing White Dwarf for stealing Faggi’s shit…

      • Ritter permalink
        August 19, 2013 7:23 pm

        Unblown fatbeard cursing unblown fatbeard. That might cause a rift in the space-time continuum.

      • Ritter permalink
        August 19, 2013 7:24 pm

        (As far as I’m concerned, Raggs’ wife is either a fiction or a preserved cadaver he keeps propped up at the dinner table like Grampa in Texas Chainsaw).

      • August 19, 2013 9:51 pm

        Now that’s a fucking EXTREME adventure scenario! Given his palpable fear of waking her up at 5 in the morning, the thought of him as a browbeaten Norman Bates type terrified of pissing off a “mother” who died years ago is really grand.

  78. Kent permalink
    August 19, 2013 9:53 am

    Zak impresses David Eglinton with his DESIGN SKILLS by creating a character SHEet tailored for the ungrateful and intolerant **BOYS OF YDIS**

    Check it out, just add GLITTER:

    http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.ie/2013/08/apocalypse-deferred-one-week.html

    • August 19, 2013 10:36 am

      That thing is confusing! Why is Armor Class listed twice? And where am I supposed to put my name? And shouldn’t INTelligence and WISdom have different colors?

      • Dildatory Interlude permalink
        August 19, 2013 10:54 am

        It’s weird that Zak Attack is An Hero of the OSR: has no one noticed that he plays a retarded version of 3.0 yet? Reflex save? Fortitude save? That shit is post 1989 and should be verboten according to the OSR’s rigorous guidelines for what is authentically “old-school the way Gary played.”

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 19, 2013 10:56 am

      What a talentless hack! And Good Christ on a Cracker wouldn’t you know his fanbois are eating that garbage up! Slurp slurp slurp, then sit on the tip!

    • Timothy permalink
      August 19, 2013 11:41 am

      I added glitter, kent, and it still looks like toilet paper.

      Wow, putting a picture of dice in the corner, that is a mother fucking conceptual breakthrough right there. And putting an arrow next to the D20, indicating that is the to hit die you roll, why did no one ever think of that ground-breaker before?

      Zak talks down to his players so much now. Maybe he finally realizes they are third string whores, and he needs to help them color in the lines. Sad.

    • Ritter permalink
      August 19, 2013 8:45 pm

      That character sheet has got to be one of the ugliest fucking things I’ve ever seen. But I guess because he’s an artisté, it’s not bad design; it’s CREE-AY-TIVE.

      And notice how the second occurrence (?) of Armor Class on the sheet is in the Iron Maiden font, yet it is in pink. I guess that’s his presumably clever way of questioning heteronormative identity constructs or some such bullshit.

      • August 20, 2013 9:12 am

        Is heteronormative one of the prestige classes? If so, it all makes sense to me now.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 20, 2013 9:56 am

        I built my character from prestige classes featured at YDIS over the years:

        Human Heteronormative 7/Magical Negro 5/Bastard 3/Sheila 1

  79. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 19, 2013 12:24 pm

    My disgust at gametards started at an early age. I was just a pretty normal kid outside of my interest in this game, when I went to a game convention for the first (and one of the very few) times. I was sitting at 1st edition game table when a big, fat, bespectacled dork who I think was at least semi-retarded turned to me and said, drooling on himself “will you be my friend?” Looking at him like he had a bloody booger on his lips I laughed then sternly said “No.”

    I always harken back to that first gametard moment in my life when I wonder about what type of person would be in Zak’s adora-base. Many of his fans are that half-tard all grown up and obsessed with bizarre sex fetishes because they watched too much straight sex on video for years without knowing what it actually felt like (much like Raggi until he found a Finnish troll to marry him). They act like feminism is great even though they actually hate women and want to see them abused because they were rejected all their life while the non-geeks got to fuck the chicks blue! (it’s true, I heard this part on Howard Stern once!).

    I also recall that my dad picked me up from that con center that evening. When he saw what the people I had spent the day around looked like, he got all grim and took me to the local athletic field and had me do wind sprints for two hours. The next day was sunday and we went to local fields to watch both a baseball game and a football game. Although I would continue gaming on and off, my dad made sure I had interest in other things. When I hit puberty soon and he saw I liked girls, he probably knocked a tree down with his sigh of relief. The moral is, if you don’ t have a dad to keep you from becoming a total geek, you’ll become a fanboy of an untalented hack artist and neo-goth fake intellectual with a Pokemon’s hairdoo. Or you might even end up Zak himself? Good job, Zaks dad (if you even exist).

    • Lightning Lord permalink
      August 19, 2013 10:08 pm

      shit_that_didnt_happen.txt

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        August 20, 2013 11:09 am

        OK, I’m caught. Actually, I stole my gaming background story from an episode of Columbo. Kent’s constant ass kissing of that show made me take another look. Now I’m addicted to histories most boring detective show. I mean, what’s not to love about a show where in every fucking episode an autistic wop cop wanders around rich people’s Malibu homes looking for the crapper?

  80. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 19, 2013 9:52 pm

    Hey, “Grim” Jim Decapus. I did a little digging into who this “He Who Cries for Grogturdia” guy is: http://unto-the-breach.blogspot.com/2013/08/who-will-weep-for-lost-grognardia.html?showComment=1376848794196#c2497818054335663792

    Apparently, he co-wrote the epic Suckdungeon in Space rpg known as Thousand Suns with JMal. So essentially, Robert Saint John (that sounds like a gay interior decorator’s name) is to James Maliszewski what Geoffrey Carcosa is to Raggi – a fucking employee and a paid shill apologist.

    • Timothy permalink
      August 20, 2013 9:32 am

      Shocking. Say it ain’t so.

    • August 20, 2013 11:54 am

      If this guy is the “Geoffrey” type creative muse behind the dynamic Thousand Suns franchise, who is the biggest “Ed Dove” rah-rah booster of the pope’s personal legacy? Poor old Ed Dove.

      I love the guys who are all “the comments were the best part” when the blog itself went to members-only registration and then stopped accepting non-G+ comments entirely. Community? Fuck that!

      • "Grim" Jim Decapus permalink
        August 20, 2013 12:26 pm

        Schiz: Don’t forget the frequent comment deletions even prior to the shift to G+.

      • August 20, 2013 1:53 pm

        Yeah! Come to think of it, I was on the business end of that stick myself a couple times. Oh, your holiness! Hit me again! Tell me what a bad girl I am!

    • "Grim" Jim Decapus permalink
      August 20, 2013 12:03 pm

      Good find. I like that, in the manner in which he argues that there was never a cult of personality, he basically proves that he’s part of it.

  81. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 20, 2013 11:05 am

    That dipshit uses the same “…kicking a man when he is down” line that Froth Mouth Zak liked to use about irks at Jamal for not doing what he was very handsomely paid for. I’ll say it again. Most grown up men with real world jobs that actualy have value don’t get extended time off when a parent is ill. And when the parent dies they take a week off at most (I have noticed women take up to three weeks off, but they’re, like, women, you know?) and get back to the grind because they have people depending on them. And Jimmy Geekface didn’t have to go back to an office and face co-workers and bosses. All he had to do was sit and wallow in it and turn his scribbled dungeon corridors, random monster charts, and other stuff stolen from his blogging contemporaries and then let other people turn it into something useful for his dumbfuck fans and supporters. But the limp dick couldn’t even pull himself together to do what most of us could do over a weekend.

    Hah. Thousand Fucking Suns. Don’t hear much these days about that mort these days, do we?

    • Edition Wars of the Id permalink
      August 20, 2013 2:56 pm

      I have to agree. The Pope of Dust handled his shit like a man off his prescription. Total fetal position for months? Tell tale signs in his blog posts hinting he had no idea how to even write up his Suck Dungeon followed by pure silence on the professional and personal level. Sure death and life suck, but come on. Who falls apart for months? Plus his increasing fleeing from critism. Couldn’t even pull a momma’s boy fit like old Zak Attack. Just added more and more barriers until he was hiding in his Heaven’s Gate fortress with the faithful. Guy totally pulled a dick move of huge proportions. And wasn’t even honest about it. Even that Fraud and Anvils guy had his confession for Failed Game Designer Anonymous speech. At least he was honest with his fuck up. The Pope couldn’t be bothered. Those who defend this crying puddle of wannabe manhood need to fess up they betted on a dead horse and that he never gave shit about them.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 20, 2013 8:08 pm

        What made it even more absurd was that the Pope was estranged from his father. I understand deathbed reconciliations, but let’s be realistic here.

  82. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    August 20, 2013 11:14 am

    Those days, these days, all fucking days…

  83. NUNYA permalink
    August 20, 2013 2:09 pm

    WELL AT LEEST TEH DURTY RAGGY ARE AM SHIP HIS JUNKOUT RITE? AMIRITE? NOT LIKE TAHT RETARDDED HALFLING GUY!!! LOOK AT THIS ANDY DA-FOUR BLOGGER GUY POST LIKE 15 TIMES IN LAST 6 MONTS AXKING FOR UPDATE HEAR:
    http://odd74.proboards.com/user/571/recent

    HAY ANDY DAFORE I LIKE UR BLOG GAME THINGS JUNK SO IMA DO YOU YEW A FAVRE. YEW KIN GET YURE UPDATES FROM ME. JUST MAYLE ME AT THIS ADDY”
    NUNYA.BIDNESS@YOUAINTGETTNGSHITSON.COM

    AND PEEPLE SAY I’M STOOPID FER CRYST-SAKES!!!!

    :p
    NUNYA

  84. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 20, 2013 9:27 pm

    This thread at The RPG Shite is AWESOME!

    http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=27334

    It’s like the ultimate WWE Wrestlemania Pay Per View Special RETARD FIGHT!

    The biggest socially retarded assholes in all the blOwSR, nay, all of RPG fandom, are gathered in one place for the ultimate showdown: Mistwell, Benoist, Bradford C. Walker, JRT, Joe the Lawyer, Planet Algol, CRKrueger, Piestrio, Justin Alexander and MORE! It’s a BATTLE ROYALE of Aspies and Autistics, unblown fatbeards and socially retarded fucktards. See the One True Wayists of the blOwSR go up against the 3-tards and 4-rons, the Forgie GNS crowd and Story Gamers in an all out CAGE MATCH! What’s at stake? Monte Cook’s honor and reputation, and you will be amazed at how low the blOwSR crowd will sink in their jealousy because their amateur hour suckdungeons aren’t raking in half a million bucks like Monte’s Numenera! Even the Uber Asshole, RPGPundit himself, gets in on the action (and doesn’t miss yet another chance to shamelessly demand a free review copy from Monte!)

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 20, 2013 9:28 pm

      And as an added bonus, the RPG Shite crowd gets off on dry humping Zak’s leg.

    • Lightning Lord permalink
      August 21, 2013 3:59 am

      The blOwSR thing is tragically unfunny. Just thought you should know.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 21, 2013 6:16 am

        You must be one of the unblown masses of the blOwSR then because 3tard and 4ron on the other hand didn’t seem to bother you.

      • Lightning Lord permalink
        August 21, 2013 4:48 pm

        No, they’re all stupid, something a 12 year old just discovering the internet would use. Like, refering to Sony as “Fony” or talking about Microsucks and Microshaft… Say, you wouldn’t happen to be a huge Linux nerd would you? Then it would make sense why you think these are fucking hilarious.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        August 21, 2013 7:38 pm

        You do know where you are, don’t you?

    • Timothy permalink
      August 21, 2013 6:38 am

      Mistwell is my hero. His Armor of Entropic Irony is spotless. Spotless, I tell you!

    • August 21, 2013 7:19 am

      Does noisome show up? I checked out three pages in when they forgot they were dishing the game and got all short-term-amnesia “omg, did you see the dildo, zak got banned over this, yeah, dildo is jerks” again like their lives were a fucking high school drama club remake of Memento with I dunno, JRT as the Carrie-Ann Moss character or something.

      But hey, Jason Alexander gave back the money!

      • August 21, 2013 5:55 pm

        I skipped to the ending, they’re still bitching at each other and coming up with house rules for fucking TORG. Curtain, applause. Mr Beckett, your nobel prize is ready for pickup.

    • Skanka the Hutt permalink
      August 21, 2013 11:18 pm

      I hate that fat, fucking, asshole Benoist. Like all OSRtards, he has an inflated sense of self worth. As if the shit he craps out is made of creative gold. But something about him burns me. He seems to be extra arrogant. Or maybe its because he is French.

      • Timothy permalink
        August 22, 2013 8:02 am

        Yeah, he cracks me up. The biggest troll on the rpgsite is a mod. That guy is so desparate for validation he is almost ZakAttack-esque in his “You are objectively wrong” BS. He and Mistwell get into it occassionally, and their aspie-based inability to communicate derails 90% of the threads there.

        I wish Aos would return there and kick French butt on a regular basis again.

      • Skanka the Hutt permalink
        August 22, 2013 6:23 pm

        Something about lunatics running asylums seems appropriate here.

        I do enjoy the Benoist/Mistwell slap fights though, so I guess there are benefits.

  85. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 21, 2013 8:44 pm

    Former YDIS regular and convicted rapist JRT comes to bury Grogturdia, not to praise him:

    http://unto-the-breach.blogspot.com/2013/08/who-will-weep-for-lost-grognardia.html?showComment=1377087612113#c2819216130722935459

    Now that was harsh, JRT! I Run With Scissors is a well-loved YDIS legend and he did the gaming community a great service, just like that kid in The Emperor’s New Clothes. JMal is in his underwear, and his dungeon is SUCK!!!!

    Glad to see JRT got the caps lock key fixed on his keyboard though. Or maybe just some psych meds in prison.

    • Timothy permalink
      August 22, 2013 8:05 am

      That is great how he makes the standard “the haterz are jealous” claim, but then goes on to say “but he deserved it.” He needs to drop more soap.

  86. August 22, 2013 12:40 am

    I can’t seem to find the lint in my navel no matter how hard I search.
    Perhaps its in my rectum…

  87. Francie permalink
    August 22, 2013 2:28 am

    Don’t post a link to 30+ pages of fucking horseshit. Post an executive summary and save innocent bystanders from being exposed to pages of mindfuckingly depressing trainspotter wank.

    “Not only do stats wear down from enemies, but you also wear down the stats on your own in an attempt to lower “target numbers.” Those are like D&D (and Pathfinder) “difficulty checks” in the sense that there is a number you have to meet or beat in order to accomplish a goal. Target numbers to start hover around 3-12. As usual, you roll a d20 to see if you hit the target number. Not as usual, there don’t appear to be any bonuses you can get to the roll. Instead, you sacrifice your stat pools to buy down the TN.”

  88. Timothy permalink
    August 22, 2013 11:05 am

    OK, another classic post from Anton “Insert Frozen Horse Penis Here” LeGay where he rants against PCness at Gencon. Only he leaves out a significant chunk of the story. While defending the vendor as being reasonable, he neglects to mention the Nazi Fetishist stuff they sell – why, imagine that!

    http://greyhawkgrognard.blogspot.com/2013/08/first-they-came-for-saucy-sloganed.html

    He links to Skarka’s blog (shudder), who explains more of the story, and a total clash of the losers ensues. Everybody becomes a warrior for self righteouness.

    I remember these fucks from Gencon a few years ago, and they sucked you into their booth with cool war movies – then you see the nazi porn and paraphinalia and propaganda. I believe in free speech, and I also believe these fucks should die a painful death, reaping what they have profited on. Anton is careful to say he doesn’t agree with the panty slogans, but he still defends the nazi worship without having the guts to mention it.

    What Would Thor Do? Stick Mjolnir right up their shiny panzer-exhausting asses. You have failed, Blochhead.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      August 22, 2013 12:00 pm

      Yes the champion of liberty, Gayhawk Grogturd gets his panties (snicker) in a bunch over womyns rights and people other than him banning things. Glad to see he hasn’t lost touch with his inner child.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 22, 2013 12:41 pm

      This is why I love YDIS, my personal Grognardia gateway to the blOwSR and gaming if you will. Only here with like-minded individuals can you truly recognize and appreciate how absolutely ridiculous both Gayhawk Grogturd and Garth Skarka are after reading those derp de durp rants from opposite points of view – ah the blOwSR and unblown fatbeard gamer fandom – from White Knights to White Supremacists, and nary a woman with an opinion on the matter in sight!

      • Timothy permalink
        August 22, 2013 1:24 pm

        Careful, AS, “blOwSR” is offensive…haven’t you heard?

        And I’m not sure those two champions know any women to elicit opinions from.

      • August 22, 2013 2:58 pm

        THE FUG? THESE GUYS STOCK 100+ DVDs, POSTERS, T SHIRTS THAT PING A SEARCH FOR “HITLER” AND/OR “NAZI” AND THE FUCKING OSR BITCHES ABOUT THE . . . PANTIES . . . SETTING THE WRONG TONE FOR FUCKING GENCON. IDIOTS. SKARKA, IDIOT. JOSEF BLOCH, MESHUGGE IDIOT. OSR, IDIOTS!

        HOGAAAAAAAN!

    • Timothy permalink
      August 22, 2013 1:22 pm

      Commentary gold from Gayhawk’s blog:

      John Matthew Stater said…
      It’s all about power, and the modern key to power seems to be “I’m Offended”.

      POWER! The nazis had to move their panties behind the counter! POWER!

      Yeah, that is why the NRA and the Big Oil rule your lives, because they play the “I’m offended” card – not because they have purchased every politician in America, fatass.

      • Skarka the Hutt permalink
        August 22, 2013 6:35 pm

        I am pretty much offended by Stater’s ugly mug and his massively uncreative NOD crap, but you don’t see me complaining.

        Power? What a fucktard! The whole point is the disenfranchised hold no power. At least not real power. But maybe I am just too crazy and liberal to understand who wields the real control in our society.

    • Skarka the Hutt permalink
      August 22, 2013 6:30 pm

      Holy shit, Skarka really has no sense of irony. The most socially maladjusted mother fucker in gaming circles tells others how socially maladjusted they are. If he spent more time fulfilling his commitments and less time tilting at windmills while jerking off at his exalted sense of social justice, he might be a happier person.

      Though I would pay good money to see Gayhawk Grogturd and Skarka in a no-holds barred death match. I wonder if Anton’s horse cock fueled black magic could stand against the Bulk From Seattle.

      • Skarka the Hutt permalink
        August 22, 2013 6:55 pm

        Sorry, The Bulk From Kansas.

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