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On a scale of “Corky” to “Potato,” how fucking stupid is John Adams?

April 9, 2013

So Corky is like a 1 (retarded, funny looking but semi-functional) and a potato is a 10 (funny looking, non-functional). For reference, I think BloodyMage slots in at about a 7.

How fucking stupid is John Adams? Is he just an 11 or does he crank it up to 13.5-ish? Or maybe how stupid does he think everyone else is?

JOHN DOESN'T KNOW

JOHN DOESN’T KNOW

424 Comments leave one →
  1. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 9, 2013 3:55 pm

    This one has left me a little off balance. On the one hand, this OSR blog entry had no gaming content, so it started out of the gate with some potential. On the other hand, I think I would have preferred seeing his collection of “white underpants as nonobjective art canvases” photos rather than hear a rant about his latest drama with the post office. Someone tell his handlers to give BHP a new policy with regard to shipping, then give him back his tin foil hat and take away his keyboard. Wait… first, take away the keyboard. Great… this guy’s making me stupid.

    “I made poopy!!!” *click* *click*

    • Francie permalink
      April 9, 2013 4:56 pm

      Never mind friend. Instead of being a cunt you’ll be a stupid cunt, it won’t upset the balance a whole shitload

      • Timothy permalink
        April 9, 2013 7:33 pm

        The sudden odor of coagulated estrogen is…about..to make..me…

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        April 9, 2013 11:17 pm

        Come on Francie show us your tits, girl!

  2. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 9, 2013 5:03 pm

    I am a Kent?! That explains the yellow discharge!

  3. Timothy permalink
    April 9, 2013 7:31 pm

    I think invoking potatoes is playing dirty. After all they can cross breed with humans at 26 chromosones, so to say they are non-functional strikes me as a bit bigoted. Ned I remind you of the uncanny Mr. Potatohead?

    I think comparing him to BM on any scale is probably…um…wait…does John happen to train dogs, by any chance? Not counting his “flock” of course.

  4. faserfag permalink
    April 9, 2013 8:58 pm

    I hope the post office told told him he has to re-baptise his entire family before they would move any of his chronically late shipping.

  5. unclecarbuncle permalink
    April 9, 2013 9:04 pm

    WIN INIT AND SLASHES WAY KILLING W +1 S SWORD AND STR. FINSHES FEEDI TH DEAD KOBOLDS THERE SMAL DOG COCKS. I HAVE FEEL THAT THIS LEVEL IS HORSSHIT I BEEN HAD WANDERS OUT INTO TH DARK CORDOOR HEADS NORTH AT A T INTERSECT 10 FEETS X 10 A PILE OF STEAMING CLOTHS FROM TH LOOKS. SMELLS LIKE DOGSHIT AN FLIES BUZZ. I SENSI A TRAP CANDI SAYS WHAT A FUCKIN DUMP

  6. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    April 9, 2013 11:21 pm

    I’m keeping a running tally and setting some benchmarks:

    1. Corky
    2. Francie
    3. JaMal
    4. Kent
    5. Mistwell
    6. Rob Conley
    7. Bloody Mage
    8. Uncle Carbuncle
    9. GOPagan
    10. Potato
    11+ John Adams

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 9, 2013 11:44 pm

      I think you perhaps rated one or two of these too high, Dr. Spectre. You can at least draw a small quantity of electricity from a potato. GOPagan’s brain has been completely dormant since at least 11/04/1980. You couldn’t light an LED with that man’s brain once his party put an actor in the White House–he just runs on the energy of his surroundings after a rainstorm or some shit.

      Time to order new scans.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      April 10, 2013 7:20 am

      Duly noted, Mr. P. Fuck.

      1. Corky
      2. Francie
      3. JaMal
      4. Kent
      5. Mistwell
      6. Rob Conley
      7. Bloody Mage
      8. Uncle Carbuncle
      9. JRT
      10. Potato
      11+ John Adams, GOPagan

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        April 10, 2013 10:20 am

        Now with some more beloved YDIS favorites:

        1. Corky, Jeff Rients
        2. Francie
        3. JaMal
        4. Kent
        5. Mistwell
        6. Rob Conley
        7. Bloody Mage
        8. Uncle Carbuncle
        9. JRT
        10. Potato
        11+ John Adams, GOPagan, Gene Weigel

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 10, 2013 9:07 am

      Thanks for the re-evaluation. And it’s nice to see that Uncle Carbuncle is still holding his own against the potato. Timothy’s recaps have been great, but Carbuncle is a savant. There are some literary feats that can only be achieved when one is on a constant diet of moonshine, squirrel brains and methamphetamine.

  7. April 10, 2013 10:39 am

    I’d crank me up to 50 because I don’t even know what this is about. Now THAT is retarded!

    Seriously, where is the POV here? Its one thing to make fun of the bogus “old school” grognardian and guys like the Bloodymage who thinks the D&D universe is one big hand-holding creep-quilt but this brave halfling guy is just letting people know theres a delay.

    How about Monte Cook? Whats his rating on the rpg DIY retard scale?

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      April 10, 2013 12:01 pm

      Wow…I mean, this is too easy. I’m going to sit this one out.
      FUCK!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      April 10, 2013 12:09 pm

      Monte isn’t a retard as much as he is a tragic figure. His wife dumped him for leaving WotC, going solo, then leaving solo and going back to WotC. Then WotC dumped him, and a good thing too, because he shot his load long ago and now just tries to cash in on past glories. He’s smarter than Mearls, because Mearls doesn’t even realize he too shot his load a long time ago, jumping the shark when he was working for Monte as Monte shot his his load. Looking back, there sure were a lot of jizz loads getting shot back then. Maybe Sue walked in unexpectedly and that’s why she left Monte. I guess we will never know.

      Anyhow, all this 3E talk and Gene’s lingering fart-like presence only goes to show 2E really was the only decent edition of AD&D every put out.

      • CuntingHell permalink
        April 13, 2013 10:15 pm

        At least Monte has his hot new original science fantasy dying earth creation to showcase his stunning creativity…

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 10, 2013 12:12 pm

      Wow…. You’re a true relic, Mr. Weigel. We’d never be able to replace you. So… let me count the ways:

      1. He’s just letting people know there’s a delay? THAT’S WHAT E-MAIL IS FOR!

      2. “Yes, what I do know is that whether they come out and say it or not, it seems to me that the USPS wants folks to use the much more costly online shipping system instead of bothering the employees at my local post office.” In other words, unsuspecting gamer that wants to read a faux D&D blog gets to read some asshole’s U.S. Postal Service conspiracy theory.

      3. In yet other words “Buy my product, but I ship USPS, so don’t be surprised if there’s a delay or if you never see it.

      4. The post linked above is not his first post on this subject. How about this one?

      Some of you may remember a couple of years ago when I had just moved to a new town and started shipping just a few boxed sets – how much trouble the local post office gave me wanting to know what was in the boxes and why I was shipping to people around the world. They assuming I was a dealing drugs and I had to travel to another town’s post office to get anything shipped in timely manner.

      This feels similar.

      Why would anyone think I am dealing drugs? I am middle-aged Charlie Brown (5’3”, round, almost bald head).

      LESSON LEARNED: NEVER SHIP ANYTHING TO RAGGI! Now Hobbit is a suspect in an international kiddie porn investigation.

      So… 1 above put him at a solid 2. 2 kept him at 2 (no dumber, just paranoid). 3 bumped him up to Carbuncletown, and 4 shot him off the chart.

      Don’t worry, Mr. Weigel. I know you realized all of this right before you failed to realize all of this.

      Respectfully yours,

      Pretentious Fuck

  8. Timothy permalink
    April 10, 2013 2:51 pm

    Aw, man, I see Uncle kentbuckle wants his toys back. So my stuff is not official Candi canon!

    Well, you keep on doing the safe, drab, LL version of Candi Does Dwimmermount. Maybe I will continue on with the superawesome AndroidConcubineQueer version, based on player feedback and the most mediocre minds in the biz.

    Mr. P. Fuck: Squirrel brains! Thanks for the suggestion.

    AS: are you sure Mistwell is higher on the scale than Conley? Despite his superior articulence, methinks he is closer to potato than Conley is. Of course, at that level, its all pube-splitting anyway. Nice list!

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      April 10, 2013 5:56 pm

      I’d say you own Candi now. Fuck unclecarbuncle. Not in a literal sense but in a metaphorical, non-creepy way. Well, in a way that gives him a well deserved put down.
      FUCK! You know what I mean! Right?!

    • April 10, 2013 6:27 pm

      MECHANICALLY THIS ROOM DESCRIPTION IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT IN ACQS. ACQS AC IS 9 (PASTIES AND LINGERE) OR 10 (NAKD) – LL AC, SO CANDI IS AC 3. ACQS MORALE IS A MODIFIER EQUAL TO 8 – LL SO THE DOG COCK KOBOLDS GET +0 TO THEIR MORALE ROLL. THEIR STATLINE IN ACQS WOULD ALSO GIVE THEIR ATTACK THROW AS 10+.

      THESE ARE TWO COMPLETELY SEPARATE SYSTEMS + PRODUCTS YOU GUYS.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        April 10, 2013 8:24 pm

        Fer chirstsakes, don’t drag LL vs. ACK into this.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 10, 2013 8:37 pm

        Absolutely! The slightest divergence creates something completely new and completely different. Remember, gentlemen, within the ranks of the OSR, that which used to be the “butterfly effect” is now the “pubic louse” effect. A very recent example of this can be seen here:

        http://greyhawkgrognard.blogspot.com/2013/04/review-nightwatch.html

        TLDFR? Here’s an excerpt:

        “There isn’t much that can be used directly in an RPG campaign, owing to the future setting….”

        Imagine you are a wide-eyed farm girl in the movie “A League of their Own” and you’re running a D&D in the World of Greyhawk–except the Greyhawk you’re playing is circa 631 CY. The Tom Hanks character comes up to you–except he’s not really Tom Hanks… rather, he’s a forty-something mesomorph in an Anton Lavey costume. Anyway, he starts yelling “There is no circa 631 CY in Greyhawk!!!”

        There is one rule in roleplaying: NO EXTRAPOLATIONS!!! If you break this rule, the Satanic Bible Dough Boy will come to your house, tear up your OSR membership card, and smash your decoder ring.

        Extrapolieren? VERBOTEN!!!!

        And check out his fact checking. The names of the moons are wrong? Really?! Each moon only gets one name? Fuck! Here in the real world I recall getting a complete celestial body reclassification within my lifetime! You have to call them Celene and Luna. That’s it. Unless you call them Mistress and Handmaiden. Wait… What?!

        Or try this one:

        “The timing of the novel is problematic. It is said to be fifty years since the Circle of Eight was last heard from, but there are some odd incongruities. It’s implied, for instance, that mayor Neroff Gasgall has just died, which would make his time in office unbelievably long.”

        Ok… yeah. I get it. The old codger’s way too old to be hanging around in circa 631 CY Greyhawk. After all, Kim Mohan says Gasgal is 42 years old around CY 581. So I get it GOPagan… Gasgal’s only human; he’d be old and likely frail (and probably blown away by Vecna as per David “Zeb” Cook–but wait! “Vecna Lives” and Night Watch-Murder By Magic were written in the SAME FUCKING YEAR! Did Lorraine Williams provide Bailey with a time machine so he could research contemporaneously-drafted lore?) Okay… I digressed–let the shame trickle down. Forty-two in 581… so… too old to breathe in 631.

        But wait! I find myself magically being drawn to page 126 of the Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Dungeon Masters Guide. My eyes are led to the second column, sixth entry down:

        [Potion of] Longevity: The longevity potion reduces the character’s game age by from 1-12 years when it is imbibed, but each time one is drunk there is a 1% cumulative chance that it will have the effect of reversing al age removalfrom previously consumed longevity potions. The potion otherwise restores youth and vigor. It is also useful to counter magical or monster-based aging attacks. The entire potion must be consumed to achieve the results.

        I disbelieve! I disbelieve! Wait… I can’t deny the Potion of Longevity. That would be denying Cook 1980, Gygax 1979, and Gygax and Arneson 1974.

        Damn you GOPagan! I listened to you, and now I need that goddamned donut pillow again. I’m chalking you up at 50… you can keep company with Weigel.

        Almost done… now–back to names:

        “The names of the moons of Oerth are incorrect, for instance, and he continually mentions that Greyhawk’s nickname is ‘Necropolis’.”

        What the fuck do you know about Necropolis, GOPagan? You’re from goddamned CY 581!

        Finally, did you know–speaking of singular entities with multiple names–that Gasgal has three names? He is Nerof Gasgol (Gygax 1983), Nerof Gasgal (Ward 1988, Mohan 1989) and Neroff Gasgall (GOPagan 2013).

        If there was any doubt in my mind that those people accused of being witches in Salem would rather burn than be associated with the GOPagan, it is thoroughly and finally extinguished.

        He’s mocking me right now. I know it. “Hahahahahahaha! (Strokes facial hair) And he thinks HE’S the Pretentious Fuck!”

      • April 11, 2013 7:05 am

        I could forgive using the Ward/Mohan spelling vs the Gygax spelling, but adding an ‘F’ and an ‘L’? That’s totally FaiL. As far as I am concerned, he has lost all credibility. He’s dead to me now.

  9. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 10, 2013 3:28 pm

    Oh Captain my Captain Bloodymage knows something Adams and the Potato don’t seem to know. Gaming is just like acting roles in movies. You NEVER go full retard. Oh, plenty of gamers are tardatoes, but in most of those cases it’s more of a choice than a condition. Kinda like being a homo.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 11, 2013 8:38 pm

      I don’t know what to think of this one. I’ve never seen any of these OSR guys draw a line before. I like Courtney’s response where he claims that his ripoffs of Grimtooth’s gives Steve Crompton his will to live.

      Courtney has a point: Just because something is derivative crap, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s plagiarism. The very first element you need in a plagiarism case is a victim that gives a shit. I’ll point my finger and scream “derivative crap” all day long, but I won’t say anything about plagiarism unless I’m a victim with legitimate copyrighted work product and feel that I’m legitimately harmed. In this case, that is a call for Paul O’Connor and/or Steve Crompton and/or Flying Buffalo to make.

      Or they can sit back and see whether these assholes can make them relevant again.

      What do you think, gentlemen? Is this an instance of Ellison v. Cameron or Ellison v. Niccol? Will YDIS and all of us in his retinue be sued by Statler and Waldorf? Already, I feel like this comment is TLDR….

  10. Mordekanian's Magnificient Man Pussy permalink
    April 11, 2013 11:29 am

    Unclecarbuncle is a fucking genius. I’m sure Timothy is a nice guy, but the UC is posting James Joycian stream of conciousness whereas as Timothy is posting sentence fragments in caps; cute but UC is the smartest man on this blog and I take offense to him being anywhere on the ranking of retard to potato.

    • Timothy thinks James Joyce is a total faggot-ass faggot permalink
      April 11, 2013 7:37 pm

      “Unclecarbuncle is a fucking genius.”

      Wha-?

      “I’m sure Timothy is a nice guy,”

      So you have never read any of my posts, then.

      “but the UC is posting James Joycian stream of conciousness”

      AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAAHAHAAH

      “whereas as Timothy is posting sentence fragments in caps;”

      Again, Ms. Man Pussy, try reading a post before commenting. I also reccomend looking up tricky phrases like “sentence fragments” before using them.

      “cute but UC is the smartest man on this blog”

      Ras H. Tafari.

      “and I take offense to him being anywhere on the ranking of retard to potato.”

      You’ve said some good stuff on here, girlfriend, but it might be time for you to pack it in. I ain’t saying I am better than uncle kentbuckle, but you have lost perspective and are now a tool. I eagerly look forward to seeing if Arneson’s Spectre revises his list to include you. Unless you are already on there… at #’s 4 and 8…

  11. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 11, 2013 8:52 pm

    Whoa! Nobody means any offense. We were just trying to motivate Uncle Carbuncle. Besides, we incentivize where Carbuncle is concerned. For every ten comments, we ship him two cans of Fancy Feast for date night. Really, it’s nothing personal.

    • Timothy permalink
      April 12, 2013 6:07 am

      Hey, no offense taken, Mr. P. Fuck. Except the part about me being a nice guy, which I strove to demonstrate. And uncle kentbuckle not belonging on the Corky-potato scale.

      As always, take my tequila-fueled rants with a box of salt.

  12. Timothy permalink
    April 12, 2013 11:37 am

    And now for something completely different, but kinda on topic:

    Our old KKK pal vargr1105 chimed in a DF thread about Thatcher. He took the stance of trying to remain neutral, while sneering at those who spoke ill of her on her death. He pm’d one guy who actually grew up in Thatcher’s Britian, and that guy posted it for all to see.

    It would be tough to find a more perfect example of impotent little fool yelling at his computer screen. It is all the better because he admits that he knows nothing of Thatcher.

    Enjoy (about halfway down the pm is posted):

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=60811&start=30

    • April 12, 2013 12:37 pm

      “Sympathy and fucking condolence.” Like what, Mark Thatcher is an honored member of the fucking DF community and they want him to know they’re here for him, baron bro? Will the sudden loss force him to abandon his blog and fuck up a kickstarter or something? Maybe DF should pass the helmet and present their bereaved chum @kestevenmark (envoy of dragonsfoot) with a crystal statue of herself to show that they care?

      Nerds piling all over each other to insert themselves into the drama of history are always funny though. Unlike my own comment!

      • April 12, 2013 1:12 pm

        Should be “fund a half-assed oil coup” instead of “fuck up a kickstarter.” Which says it all right there.

        The guy on there in Ohio who wants the world to know he “gives props to her intestinal fortitude” is especially ridiculous. Let us now praise that old woman’s apparently cast-iron . . . bowels?

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 12, 2013 3:03 pm

        That is correct, Schiz. Calling someone out on his douchebaggery is not in itself douchebaggery. And I do appreciate your restraint as I struggle to retain my own title in the face of these eulogizing assholes. I think the precedent set by Hitchens at Falwell’s passing is controlling in this matter (although it can be argued that Hitchens shamelessly followed Falwell’s career path afterwards and there was no such commentary upon his death). “vargr 1105” needs to be informed that the modern convention is to excoriate those who profit from religion–especially when one’s religion is the state.

        Still pretentious (though my mirror’s eyes are wandering),

        P. Fuck

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 12, 2013 4:51 pm

        Note also that GOPagan indulged himself in a misty-eyed eulogy. It appears ol’ Iron Bowels’ demise predates the dissociation of GOPagan’s political and religious identities, so I’m ruling out causal connection. Also, I will further posit that GOPagan actually does not break the “one blog per bloated ego” rule. I think the wind and the trees have actually granted him three.

      • April 12, 2013 6:09 pm

        Well, blessed fucking be, how many souls does Anton have under that turtleneck sweater?

        What I would almost respect is a balls-to-the-wall political blog tackling contemporary issues from a hardcore Suloise isolationist perspective. Too many (OS) mongrel kids in our schools? The GreyPagan sounds off! Wand control debate in Niole Fucking Dra just a stalking horse for Baklunish terrorists? Fuck no, GreyPagan is on the score!

        I mean, if you’re going to be witchy, leave something truly fucking witchy behind. Get a picture of yourself taken shaking Paul Ryan’s hand wearing a tunic and business cloak and boots (high, hard). Don’t split the blogs to save face. Combine the fucking things.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 12, 2013 7:41 pm

        Ha! We need to get a kickstarter going to finance a youtube page for Bloch. He can bring all of his personalities together in a Hartnell/Troughton/Pertwee Three Doctor pastiche. They can bicker with each other while their true-believers try to determine which one is the curmudgeon, which is the dandy and which is the clown.

        Alternatively we can attempt a satire of Sartre’s No Exit by putting the Archdruid GOPagan in the same room with Pope Mal and then throw a beautiful eighteen-year-old Unitarian Universalist in the room with them. Pop quiz! In this situation, would the the innocent little girl claw at the locked door until her fingernails were ground away and her end phalanges ground to the nubs, would the poor innocent’s aura of toleration prove to be deadly to great apostle of the one true Catholicism and Mr. “Christianity is a culture destroyer.” Wait…. GOPagan didn’t really say that, did he?

        http://theodishthoughts.blogspot.com/2013/04/storming-heaven.html

        Ok… good. He didn’t. He just said “I am not a fan of Christianity. It is a destroyer of cultures, religions, science, philosophy, and anything else that stands in its way of complete domination of the mind-space of everyone it encounters.”

        Destroyer of cultures? Who the hell talks like that?

        Well, I seem to recall someone saying “If we were to divide mankind into three groups, the founders of culture, the bearers of culture, the destroyers of culture, only the Aryan could be considered as the representative of the first group” once. Who was that?

        http://www.hitler.org/writings/Mein_Kampf/mkv1ch11.html

        Oh… yeah–him. Here’s my best conspiracy theory yet. Adolph and Eva really offed themselves because a GOPagan model 1000 came to them from the future and warned them that his ideology was going to be cannibalized by a Lavey clone with three divergent, derivative and dilletantish personalities. I know if I were in his shoes my brain would be making the rendezvous with that bullet faster than an antimatter cannon-dissembling Barry Allen.

        I’m working really hard trying to wrap my head around this whole GOPagan trinity thing. I only have one concern: If GOPagan unites his retrogamer self with his conservative self, Pope Mal I can still love him. But I don’t think the Pope can forgive the Triune Pagan. I mean, that would indeed be the event that the word ‘sunder’ was created to describe.

        Time for me to go to the fridge and uncap a cold bottle of shut-the-fuck-up.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 12, 2013 7:47 pm

        Moderation?! WTF?!!!!! I’m no steenking Apikoros! I’m Caligula all the way!

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 12, 2013 7:52 pm

        Sorry… referencing this:

        “Please Note: Your comment is awaiting moderation.”

        Forgot that freedom* wears an asterisk when it describes speech that is corporately sponsored. And a fine hello right back at ya, WordPress.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 13, 2013 9:54 am

        I really want to riff of the ol’ “Conservative Voice of the Flanaess” idea you had, Schiz, but I’m coming up mostly blank. I’ve been working on an idea for a “Wand control means estimating your 32,000 cubic feet of blast volume before you trigger your fireball, asshole.” Problem is, every time I try to visualize it, the message tranforms into “GAMER: Just give me the fuckin’ wedgie already”.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      April 12, 2013 9:02 pm

      Thatcher? Lesbo.

  13. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 12, 2013 1:07 pm

    I think we are all a bit too sated by the Rise and Fall of Jamal (coming to a Sundance Channel Documentary soon), I hope the tail doesn’t eat it’s own tail here in the aftermath of that glorious day. It was sort of like those rare, happy moments when after taking a huge raging dump you let out a nice, loud, dry fart that rings in the bowl and signals a burden-free day. How do you top it? You have to just enjoy the experience, have great memories about it, but also realize that there are many more great after-crap farts to come and not go into a funk. There are still dragons to chase.

    And for my different topic of the day, I’d like to introduce a little Friday tradition I have on my FB page to make everybodies lives a little brighter: “Fudgepack Friday”

    So out of these two actresses, who do you think is the most likely to be up for a little backdoor shennanigans? You’re choices are the perky but kinda skanky Emma Stone, or the sultry but approachable Ann Hathaway. Discuss.

    Have a great weekend, my fine fucks!

    • April 12, 2013 1:35 pm

      Speaking of bowels. One vote for Stone.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 12, 2013 2:30 pm

      Agreed. Stone it is. Sodomy is trending hard with the “under thirty” crowd.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      April 12, 2013 9:07 pm

      Poor Kent, stuck on the outside looking in. Yours is the wrong kind of poop chute drilling, Kent.

  14. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 12, 2013 4:59 pm

    Ah, but maybe you lads didn’t see the pics from several years ago of Anne blowing her boyfriend on a boat while people were right next to them. Just search “Anne Hathaway boyfriend boat.” You’ll get some boring ass pics of her and a more recent dipshit she is getting porked by, but look and you’ll see one of the old boyfriend getting his nips casually sucked by the dark haired temptress while he stands there, but also him in a deck chair getting the ol’ Dr. Felatio action with people all around them. Your welcome.

    Oh, by the way, that boyfriend was a crook who went to jail soon after. Anne is a dirty little minx. I vote that tis m’lady Hathaway who enjoys a slippery sausage in the ol’ fart box.

    • April 12, 2013 6:11 pm

      Your argument is so compelling that I practically suspect Dick Blood of inside knowledge.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 12, 2013 7:44 pm

      “Inside knowledge.” Heh. You just channelled my inner Beavis.

  15. April 13, 2013 9:51 am

    Bloch says:

    The manual is intended for the players. Thus, the term “Players Manual” is the equivalent of saying “Manual for Players”. In which case, the word “players” is the object of the (implied) preposition “for”, and thus no apostrophe is needed.

    Hehehehe…

    Guess what, Chuckles!

    Sometimes the possessive expresses who the thing is for, rather than to whom it belongs. Thus, an apostrophe is needed.

    The ladies’ room is not (necessarily) owned by ladies, but it is for ladies (and Kent).

    • Timothy permalink
      April 13, 2013 10:41 am

      Hah! GOPagan will never rest as long as Christianity is shoving the English language down our throats, with all these unholy “rules.”

      Funny how one of his apologists calls everyone else “grammar Nazis.” Dumbfucks do not understand irony.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        April 13, 2013 1:23 pm

        That grammar Nazi GOPagan apologist looks like a Log Cabin Republican, i.e. a real self-loathing faggot. Christ, I have way more respect for Kent than I do those Log Cabin Repukes.

        Of course he doesn’t get the irony. This is the GOP we are talking about here. Kind of like how their entitlements aren’t entitlements yet they are still entitled to them, and fuck everybody else because they are takers if they take entitlements!

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 13, 2013 1:50 pm

        You could be right, Dr. Spectre, but my own theory is he’s one of those Logjammin’ Republicans who identifies as straight but loves sticking it in his boy staffers now that his wife has traded in her personality for bennies.

        Entitlements? I’m guessing GOPagan doesn’t need entitlements because, like Maliszewski, his wife’s purse strings are wide open. Or maybe Republican Pagans are like big family Mormons who “protest” entitlements by taking all the entitlements they can get (thereby “taxing” the system–in theory).

        At least Kent is pretty transparent with being what he is. About every other time I read something from the GOPagan, I feel like I’ve just been Dan Browned. And another thing about Kent… well… sorry, I got nothing.

        Sorry… I know you didn’t ask for an Ed McMahon….

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        April 13, 2013 4:54 pm

        That’s fine, but try adding more “HEEEEEEEEEREEEE’S SPECTRE!”

        (Note the proper use of the apostrophe.)

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        April 13, 2013 8:39 pm

        I’m thinking the fudge packing fatties of the BlOwSR really like the looks of that skinny little Log Cabin Republican apologist hating on the Grammar Nazis.They think he has mighty purdy lips too.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      April 13, 2013 1:18 pm

      So basically he fucked up on the grammar just like that fucking retard Gygax did 30 some odd years ago, and now he’s trying to bullshit his way out of it? Okay.

      Somebody should check to see if Anal Adventures Dirty & Deep has a Foreword or a Forward.

  16. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 13, 2013 10:31 am

    Thanks for taking up the torch on this one, perdustin. I was just going to let this one go thinking I needed to back off for a while, but it’s really just too ignorant to pass up.

    By GOPagan’s reasoning, because we refer to the form of the apostrophized word as “possessive”, then there has to be a strict form of possession in the form of ownership or something close to ownership in order for us to whip out the apostrophe.

    Without going into the more esoteric theories with regard to this matter (though I love contemplating the whole “John [(h)is hat] > (John is) hat” thing in my head–nobody ever wants to talk about it), it suffices to say that the possessive form indicates a relationship of possession IN A VERY BROAD SENSE.

    A simple reductio, like the one presented by perdustin above, makes this point nicely. I also like to point out that the possessive sense is used to acknowledge the relationship of property to owner. Thus, in the present case one can say that the apostrophe in “hat’s owner” contracts the concept “(hat is) owner”. A hat is property and therefore we cannot strictly say that it owns or posses it’s owner. Rather, we use the ‘possessive’ sense to establish the relationship.

    Does anyone actually know GOPagan? Is there any chance this guy is just deliberately being an ass for comedic effect?

    • Timothy permalink
      April 13, 2013 10:44 am

      I saw him once at a Wotanic Hegemonic Convergence. He had his mouth full of Thor’s Seed so I didn’t bother talking to him; any disturbance the world would have been cursed by the Norns.

      Or should that be “Thors Seed”?

      Anyway, he did not seem to possess a sense of humor, even when he got Loki’d from behind.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 13, 2013 12:10 pm

        Definitely “Thors seed”. Once it made its way into the GOPagan’s mouth, Thor most certainly would not be getting it back.

    • Scott permalink
      April 15, 2013 9:09 am

      All this talk about “possession” is reminiscent of the Salem witch holocaust, and I for one find it offensive and culture-destructive.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 15, 2013 10:17 am

        Ha! Well, that actually less of an equivocation than drawing a connection between fake witchy poseurs and falsely-accused witches. You have my apologies.

        “Salem witch holocaust.” Classic. I just want to dip you in bronze and place you on my mantle.

  17. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 13, 2013 2:13 pm

    Hey guys! I just performed a ritual that allowed me to channel then GOPagan then did the same ritual to let GOPagan channel Gary Gygax. Here’s the new story.

    “So Gary and I want you to know that the REAL reason that the apostrophe is missing from the PLAYERS HANDBOOK title is because the apostrophe detracts from the dramatic effect of spelling out the title in all capital letters. You see, the reason we use all capital letters in our title is because the image just draws you in. Just think of how the letters in the STAR WARS title screen just reaches out and grabs your attention. Well, that’s what our intention. Of course, we weren’t copying Lucas. Come to think of it, we really don’t feel much passion for the STAR WARS franchise at all. I guess the all-caps and no apostrophes thing was just coincidence. Just look here on my publication where I….”

    “Aw, fuck…”

    “Okay, well… gotta go. Honey! Can you give me two hundred dollars? If I don’t bugger a frat boy tonight, Lindsey Graham’s gonna call me a pussy.”

    The things I do for you guys. Oh the shame… the shame will never wash out….

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      April 13, 2013 4:45 pm

      STAR’S WAR does kind of suck Weigel nutsack…

    • April 14, 2013 6:41 am

      Back in the day Jimmy Mal would have produced a well written ( and I mean that ) 7 part series on the apostrophe…

      Sad how far we’ve come. The Golden Age of the OSR has ended and we skip right to the age of Plastic Reasoning.

  18. Recovering Retard permalink
    April 13, 2013 4:25 pm

    “Joseph Bloch
    Mar 28, 2013 – Public
    Had my first session teaching my daughter how to use the viking sword using wooden wasters.

    Man, it’s been a long time since my SCA days. My hand is killing me.”

    Is this really someone you wanna fuck with over grammar?

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      April 13, 2013 4:41 pm

      Is there video? Because at first you might think you shouldn’t fuck with Gene Weigel when you hear he has a flail, and then you see the video of Gene with the flail, and you realize your six year old daughter could kick the shit out of Gene. From her wheelchair, God bless her.

    • April 14, 2013 6:42 am

      “Man, it’s been a long time since my SCA days. My hand is killing me.”

      Does not sound right… especially out of context…

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        April 14, 2013 12:04 pm

        Reminded me of that scene on the ferry from Dolores Claiborne.

  19. Recovering Retard permalink
    April 13, 2013 5:21 pm

    I dunno, I’ll look. I just saw this guy’s dicktartar video – I bet he’s wearing a bra under his little grey shirt. This shit is fucking obnoxious. I hate watching someone with an oral fixation speak (especially with that “hide my chins / gloryhole sack tickler” goatee.) Maybe there is too much soy in the Western diet?

  20. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 13, 2013 5:42 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

    Damn, R.R.–you must have done that long-distance Dim Mak ninja thingy on me, because my side is killing me.

    Okay. You got me. I’ll admit I’m no badass and that you have referenced the possibility that I might get my ass kicked. I will address the matter with no delay:

    Dear Little Girl Bloch:

    It has come to my attention that you may be offended by my observation that your father is a douchebag who frequently makes incorrect statements with regard to matters for which he is a self-appointed authority. Further, I acknowledge that my comparison of your father’s beliefs to that of one of the most monstrous figures of the Twentieth Century may be similarly offensive to you.

    It has further come to my attention that you have recently developed martial skills, and it is possible that you are the most resilient fighter in your family. Your father himself admits to a cumulative trauma injury after a sparring session while the absence of any comment with regard to any injuries to you, his opponent, leads us to believe that you made it through the session unscathed.

    Therefore I extend to you my most humble apologies and ask that you not travel hundreds of miles to kick my ass and defend your father’s honor.

    Wait…. No–I take it back. I’ve had my share of ass-whippings and if Little Girl Bloch needs to give me my lumps for stating uncomfortable facts, well, she can just bring it on. Hell… I’ll even let her beat me with her dad’s wooden sword.

    Jesus Christ! What?! Did I just time warp back to the fourth grade?

    • Timothy permalink
      April 13, 2013 6:41 pm

      There is no doubt in my mind that his daughter is a more formidable warrior than Anton LeGay.

  21. Timothy permalink
    April 13, 2013 6:47 pm

    By the way, this was back upthread, but Schiz said,

    “What I would almost respect is a balls-to-the-wall political blog tackling contemporary issues from a hardcore Suloise isolationist perspective. Too many (OS) mongrel kids in our schools? The GreyPagan sounds off! Wand control debate in Niole Fucking Dra just a stalking horse for Baklunish terrorists? Fuck no, GreyPagan is on the score!”

    That is one of the funniest damn comments I have read here, besides Scottt’s “Silence $48,000 Radius.”

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 13, 2013 10:30 pm

      Yeah… I’m not one to give out hand jobs unsolicited, but that one just doesn’t get old. In fact, it’s kind of set a comedic ceiling I can’t break through.

      Most of us are here because of trauma or karma. Schiz is just slumming….

  22. April 14, 2013 7:12 am

    Thanks for the friendly reach guys. But it’s not love that brings us together, it’s hate. Log Cabin Anton is coming under a good and well-deserved beating here and you never know what my blog will turn into over the next few weeks now that the pope is dead. SKARKA is due another run of mysterious sick weeks and “con crud” before con crud season really ramps up. The guy who got caught recycling grimtooth wants all you fucks to know “it’s legit, I use 140 different modules for trap ideas and besides, I’m not talking about traps anywoo, I’m USING them to talk about AGENCY,” apparently. Last I saw pornstars he learned that you can read modules and you can write down the feels the mod gives you in your brain, then you throw the mod away. Boring as fuck. Rients grew out of his mid-life crisis and nobody noticed. Alexis, stung by an unflattering depiction on something called “Big Fucking Bang Theory” (juliana hatfield’s new band?), was hot to do a flashy video rebuttal and I would so give to that kickstarter. The clone arrangers kept clonin’ and the bone fuck I had something about bloodymage there but it’s gone, hope I can fix it in post-prod. Scissors was missing. Margaret Fucking Dame Thatcher, the real world’s answer to Lorraine Fucking Dame Williams, was dead. Our childhoods were over, my fucking grammy who loved Thatcher and never trusted Blair was right all along, my DEEPEST condolences and fucking sympathy. The seeds of future evil and stupidity were everywhere in the land but the waft of estrogen was in the air also.

    THIS ENDS THE DESCENT INTO
    THE DEPTHS BUT BEGINS MANY
    NEW AND EXCITING PROSPECTS

    • Timothy permalink
      April 14, 2013 7:50 am

      Damn, Schiz, I was about to point out that the sun is shining, but then you go G1-3, D1-3, and Q1* on me.

      *We all know why Q1 gets a fucking apostr- er, asterisk.

    • Jeff Rients permalink
      May 17, 2013 4:31 am

      “Rients grew out of his mid-life crisis and nobody noticed.”

      Shit, I wish someone had told me at the time that’s what I was going through.

      Someone else here mentioned me padding out my manuscript. I delivered a tad over the contracted wordcount with my module. On top of that there’s some extra stuff, including tarted up old blog posts. I know that’s a major violation around here, but it was meant to be bonus material for the audience that had put upfront for just a module.

      • May 17, 2013 9:00 am

        Are you set on reviving Wessex? I fucking hate that one. How about some more of that post-apoc thing with the submerged skyscraper, or maybe some Encounter Critical?

      • May 17, 2013 9:47 am

        Not particularly so. I just happened across a little module I adapted and wanted to get it out of my system. I’m thinking about doing some Encounter Critical with the FLAILSNAILS set.

  23. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    April 14, 2013 12:41 pm

    Getting back on topic (ha!), can entire RPG message board communities be classified on the YDIS Mental Retardation Scale (or in the vernacular, the Tard-O-Meter)?

    1. Corky, Jeff Rients
    2. Francie, EN World
    3. JaMal
    4. Kent
    5. Mistwell
    6. Rob Conley
    7. Bloody Mage
    8. Uncle Carbuncle, The RPG Site
    9. JRT, Dragonsfoot
    10. Potato, RPGNet (aka BIG PURPLE DILDO)
    11+ John Adams, GOPagan, Gene Weigel, Knights &Knaves Alehouse (KKK Alehouse)

  24. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 14, 2013 3:13 pm

    I just knew the complacency speech was coming. Hey Schiz–I really don’t think a Bear Bryant move is going to work on this crowd. Tell you what… I’ll follow the lead you gave us on Zak. But I want my sacrifice acknowledged–that fucker (a professional, no less) makes me look downright terse.

  25. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 14, 2013 5:38 pm

    Jesus, Schiz–you just saw me coming, didn’t you. Zak was almost at the top of the list for least offensive OSR blogger… and now this. Does it really take SIX BLOG ENTRIES AND OVER TWENTY THOUSAND WORDS to say you have issues with portions of Red Hand of Doom? Here’s an exercise for Zak: (1) Read the following entry from your own blog:

    5. Fuck Off With Your Boxed Text

    “Well beginning GMs may need…” …a crutch so that they never learn to engage their players?

    Who does this right? Most people who aren’t paid by the word. By some shocking coincidence.

    Zak apparently does not like boxed text as a descriptive medium, and implies in his next paragraph that he would prefer that the text be excised from the product. Okay… fine… you appreciate having a more streamlined product. YOU COULD HAVE SAID THAT IN LESS THAN FIVE HUNDRED FUCKING WORDS.

    Maliszewski is a flaky douchebag, but he amuses me. Raggi is a freak of nature, but he amuses me. GOPagan is a full-time literary onanist and walking bullshit archive, but he amuses me. These six blog entries make you a bad person. You belong in Group W with the mother stabbers and father rapers for these six blog entries. What the fuck?! You could have written a decent adventure and said “Here, kids! This is a decent fucking adventure–unlike Red Hand of Doom.”

    You have literally wasted the time of literally dozens of people with these entries. I remember Rollins in a spoken word saying that if you waste a person’s time, it’s like killing them, but only a little. Can you really live with that? Or does your ego really require you to be that tedious?

    Which way to Alexis’s book? I need something insipid but pleasant to displace this aura of douchebaggery from my vision.

    * * *

    I should say one good thing about these entries: The April 7th entry has a photo of an almost-cute schoolgirl cosplaying a troll slayer from WFRP. Judging by the look on her face, I’m guessing Zak roofied her shortly before taking the photo.

    • April 14, 2013 6:40 pm

      I acknowledge ya sacrifice.

      And yeah. Even as satire, it’s fucking off-putting — Part Of The Problem, which is that footage of the girls having fun has been getting scarcer and scarcer and the his wall of verbiage is expanding to fill the void like some kind of enema bag that’s tired of even going through the motions and never loved us anyway. It’s not fun any more.

      Duh, factory game text is pretty thin shit pumped out of hacks and into dumb kids like some kind of misbegotten human centipede tie-in that only airs on ABC Family. We get it. Welcome to an insight Gene “The Dancing Machine” Wiegel had 25 fucking years ago, no wait, that’s just how long it took me to scroll through those posts to see if any of the tools on his roll have updated in forever. Cue the tumbleweeds. “Nuh-uh, all the action’s on G+!” No, it’s not.

  26. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    April 14, 2013 5:56 pm

    Hey JaMal, Rob Conley just lost his dad too a few days ago and guess what? He’s back up and running, living life because life goes on:

    http://batintheattic.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-story-of-creator.html

    I’m swapping you two out on the old Tard-O-Meter:

    1. Corky, Jeff Rients
    2. Francie, EN World
    3. Rob Conley
    4. Kent
    5. Mistwell
    6. JaMal
    7. Bloody Mage
    8. Uncle Carbuncle, The RPG Site
    9. JRT, Dragonsfoot
    10. Potato, RPGNet (aka BIG PURPLE DILDO)
    11+ John Adams, GOPagan, Gene Weigel, Knights &Knaves Alehouse (KKK Alehouse)

  27. unclecarbuncle permalink
    April 16, 2013 8:35 pm

    NOON CARE NOONE READ

    INTRESECTIONS AN CANDI TRIS SNEAK PAST AN THEN TH ROOF FALLSIN AN A BIG SPLAT ASS DOG KOBOL SHITS GO EVERYWHER AN SOME ON CANDI. NOWS SHES PISSED AND WANDERS ROUND FINDI BACK TH ELVATOR AND GETS IN PRESSS BUTTON W A SATANS HEAD

  28. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 16, 2013 10:29 pm

    Welcome back Carbuncle! To that same old place you laughed about….

    A deal’s a deal. Expect the postal service to be bringing you the Fancy Feast, 2 ea. I also slipped in a Viagra for you to take on your special night with your wife/half-sister/grandmother.

    And you’re still on the hook, too, Timmy. I figure from this point forward you and Carbuncle are tag-teaming this one….

    • Timothy permalink
      April 17, 2013 7:01 am

      Actually, Mr. P. Fuck, I just signed an exclusive agreement with Tavis to produce the Candi Does Dimmermount novel. Might have to do a retroclone of Candi, just to avoid IP issues, but Tav isn’t too concerned.

      So if you want to see the further adventures of cloneCandi, Mr. G, and Rutherford the Redoubtable, you will have to buy into the Kickstarter we will soon be launching for the novel.

      And it is MISTER Timmy.

  29. Timothy permalink
    April 17, 2013 10:54 am

    Oh, Hey, evidently it is Sword and Wizardry Appreciation Day.

    Very disapointed that Ms. Sukdungeon did not do a special post. It would have been hilarious to see YDIS listed with the other 130 blogs wacking off about S&W.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 17, 2013 5:31 pm

      You fucking sellout! After all we’ ve been through? You’re really going to do this? Kickstarting?!

      If I pledge $130 or more, can I have a 30 mm minis of Candi and the roper and a decoder dildo?

  30. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 17, 2013 12:15 pm

    Patton Oswaldt is getting a shit-ton of exposure due to his comments about the Boston bombing. At this rate I’ll never be able to afford him for the starring role in my Blooeymage independent film “Keeping the Lights On.” With the makers of “Juno” directing and writing, It’ll be this centuries “Flowers for Algernon.”

  31. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    April 17, 2013 7:51 pm

    I’ll help fund the “Keeping the Lights On” Kickstarter. What will the level rewards be?

    • Recovering Retard permalink
      April 18, 2013 6:56 am

      A lower T-cell count?

  32. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 18, 2013 12:12 pm

    Bloodymage Film Kickstarter rewards

    5 dollars: warm fuzzy feeling for helping out a bro’.
    10 dollar: box of assorted plastic knives, spoons, and forks waiting for you at next Garycon.
    20 dollars: 10% off all Bloodymage products
    50 dollars: 1st choice of pregens for one Bloodymage session at next Garycon (if he can get a ride from the hotel)
    75 dollars: quality Hanes T-Shirt with movie slogan “Fight the Dark!” in neon letters
    100: a 1st edition Players Handbook signed by star Patton Oswaldt (or that big forehead guy from The Office if we can’t get Patton)
    150: signed photo of the actress to play Mrs. Bloodymage (hopefully Rosie O’Donnell)
    200: a shotgun to put in your mouth and kill yourself. “Blooey!!!”

    • Sykirobme permalink
      April 19, 2013 6:18 am

      1000: the chance to do layout for his next gaming project!

  33. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 18, 2013 12:23 pm

    Don’t forget:

    5,000 dollars: Pleated patent leather skirt and the privilege of writing copy and generating maps and art for the kickstarter project (as well as the privilege of stalking and kidnapping Patton Oswalt).

  34. April 18, 2013 12:24 pm

    The Universe does not need Stephen Hawkins to exist. It in fact, may prefer to exist without him.

    • April 18, 2013 12:25 pm

      My bad. the name is Hawkings with a ‘g’.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 18, 2013 2:42 pm

        I love this comment if it is meant to be a parody of my own misspelling of Dave Sims’s Cerebus. I think I did that two or three posts back. I picked up my first issue of Cerebus about the same time I bought the Deities and Demigods folio with the Cerberus entry. My feeble brain decided to invent a portmanteau, and I used to speak frequently about “Cerebrus” whenever I wanted to bore my friends with stories about ancient Greek fantasy. I even put “Cerebrus” into a session. Sometimes I wonder if my players were merely afraid of correcting the DM or if they thought I had made up a rip-off monster.

        By the way, the “s” was excised from Mr. Hawkings’s name back in 1942. Since January 8 of that year, he has been known as “Hawking.”

        Or maybe I am being presumptuous. I cannot be certain we are talking about the same person.

  35. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 18, 2013 2:23 pm

    Despite my utter contempt for all people who are as verbose as I am, I recently succumbed to Schiz’s prompt to check out Alexis’s commentary on the Big Bang Theory’s Christmas episode. I read the whole article and didn’t get it. So I read it again. Still, I didn’t get it. So I’m going to ask you guys to clear this up for me. I will link the post, and questions will follow:

    http://tao-dnd.blogspot.com/2013/04/can-it-be-cool.html

    (1) Is Alexis’s perception that he is entitled to a favorable portrayal of gamers by the writers of a mainstream sitcom reasonable?

    (2) If your answer to (1) above is yes, then why is Alexis not expending any effort towards bringing that portrayal about in his blog or any other medium?

    (3) How far up Alexis’s ass is that first commenter, “YagamiFire”?

    Wait… the questionnaire isn’t going to suffice. What we really need is

    AN OPEN LETTER TO MESSRS. SMOLENSK AND YAGAMIFIRE:

    A minstrel show? Really?! Mazes and Monsters wasn’t even a minstrel show. The Big Bang Theory episode was somewhere between an Uncle Remus tale and a Redd Foxx performance. Apparently, that’s not good enough for Mr. Smolensk. He wants to pass up the gamer portrayal that is the equivalent of a Redd Foxx routine. He also wants to pass up Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy, and Wesley Snipes and move straight on to Denzel Washington.

    Sorry, Alexis. But GAMERS AREN’T ENTITLED TO THE DENZEL FUCKING WASHINGTON PORTRAYAL!!! There’s no movement out there for making gaming culture more popular or palatable. And there shouldn’t be. I personally was sorely embarrassed to see Wizards of the Coast dropping Vin Diesel’s name at every opportunity they had last decade. And if the great behemoth of the gaming industry can’t make gaming cool with Mr. Diesel, you ain’t gonna be gettin’ it done, either, Mistuh Tao Man.

    Part of the problem is that we get exactly what we deserve. Edition wars? The mini vs. no mini debate? OSR? There are way too many of us who are in dire need of a little ridicule for you to say that we deserve a PR campaign. And the comparison to the gay movement? To African-american empowerment? Ma gavte la nata. If you’re complaining about this shit on this level, you take yourself way too seriously. You don’t know it, but you deserve some ridicule, too.

    Now… in the event that I am just a figment of your solipsistic imagination, I offer my most sincere apologies and withdraw this entire comment (after all, if I don’t really exist… fuck it). But if not, you really need to come to the realization that you are in love with yourself in a really, really, really unhealthy way. Your blog is weird, and that’s okay. It takes you five thousand words to say something that should only take five hundred. That, too, is okay (not really, but who am I…). What is not okay is that you want to be above criticism and ridicule. Why? Because everyone else is? If that’s really the way you see it, then… yeah–maybe I don’t really exist after all.

    Do you know any stupid people? I’m not talking about the delusional freaks we make fun of here. I mean someone of genuinely low intelligence. Genuinely stupid people learn to be tough. They know that this world is going to be harsh to them, and they condition themselves so that they can take it. It is obvious from your blog that you don’t have any of that conditioning at all. A little piece of advice: If you’re not tough, don’t telegraph it.

    Of course, you have every right to continue your quixotic championship of the mainstream media’s demeaning of the gaming community. Please realize, however, that other gamers were embarrassed for you.

    /s/ Pretentious Fuck

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
      April 18, 2013 7:35 pm

      Fuck, reading that disjointed rambling of the blog… Wow, Alexis was really scarred by grade school and apparently can’t get past being the last kid picked for dodge ball. Beats the hell out of me as apparently PT got more bullet points out of it than I did. Only thing I picked up was that Alexis apparently had some serious issues in the locker room which seems to be a theme from the skimming I’ve done on the blog as the lengthy rambling discourse just bores me.
      It’s a sitcom and as such has to be digestible by the main percentage of the viewers. Trying to accurately portray D&D would be a long, boring sketch probably lacking a punchline altogether.
      Much the same as intarweb roleplaying heroes claim that they play six games a week and the tabletop is only populated by bee-yoo-tee-full women other than himself cause the gaming demographic has shifted from overweight fatbeards to nymph-like women wanting to bask in the sweat stains of those few remaining neckbeards… Yeah…
      Alexis seems caught up in this rapturous vision that all roleplayers were these unappreciated hyper-intellectuals that got wedgies in gym class. May have been his experience and sure I got that “you’re weird” for gaming in ye olde grade schoole but it’s not some lasting scar I wear on my wrist.
      Not as long as windbag Alexis’ blog’ entry’ but surely I rambled and failed to make any points just as well.

  36. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 18, 2013 10:50 pm

    “Not as long as windbag Alexis’ blog’ entry’ but surely I rambled and failed to make any points just as well.”

    I had the same experience, Ghost man… right down to Genus and species. I couldn’t see straight–eyes all in different directions and couldn’t tell if I was having delusions of being Norbert Sykes or Jean Paul Sartre.

    What really just gets my goat is how he can tap the keys that many times, all the while at least somewhat considering his choice of words–and not think to himself at some point, “I have a penis; I think I might just conform to society’s expectations of me and delete all of this whiny crap.”

    What especially got my goat–so much so that I couldn’t even bring myself to comment on it last time–is that he tried to offend as many people as he could while trying to lobby for this new and favorable portrayal of gamers. Essentially, all I got from his rant was “Fuck all you people who don’t play my game and (may or may not) look down on me! You’re the reason my game isn’t cool! Well, you and the walking gamer stereotypes with their gamer t-shirts and their relaxed grooming standards.” Apparently, Mr. Smolensk wants everyone to be just like him so he can have a “cool” hobby.

    It’s been said before on this site, but I’m drunk and don’t give a fuck: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A GENIUS TO PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS. There is a definite floor. You have to be good at basic arithmetic. Knowledge of statistics is helpful but not necessary. Being able to reduce a range of behavioral options down to mathematics and vice versa is also helpful. Finally, you need to be able to talk to people, process their ideas as they are communicated to you, and build on those ideas. That can be done with average or better intelligence. Of course, Smolensk won’t settle for anything less than being a misunderstood genius. Unfortunately, his intellect betrays his “softness and overcultivation.” He is in fact the very portrait of one of “those who devote themselves to music and poetry [and] turn out to be softer than is good for them[.]” (Plato, Republic 410d) He’s not the prophet that converts the world to roleplaying with one whiny rant.

    I don’t think he’s a bad guy; I just think he needs to get over his delusions of his own importance before some vanity press takes advantage him… or he tries to break into acting… or he tries to seek fame and fortune in the blogosphere….

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
      April 18, 2013 11:49 pm

      Seeking fame and fortune by blogging in that he completely fails to engage my enthusiasm about gaming. Reminds me of a convention game I signed up for back in… Hell, 1989 maybe 1990 that promised Dragonlance and the fucker of a DM had us immediately get on a boat which was a fucking Spelljammer and we were off on the fuckhead’s Spelljammer module cause he was doing the old bait n’ switch cause he knew no one in their right fucking mind would want to play Spelljammer. Then this son of a bitch goes on for two hours of the four hour session about how Spelljammers worked and all this nonsense. It was really Spelljammer 101 with a captive audience rather than a game.
      To roundabout to the point. Alexis seems to promise talk of gaming and high adventure and instead pontificates endlessly about things no one cares about. Unlike the four hour eye peeler that was that jack ass Spelljammer game I can simply ignore Alexis.

    • April 19, 2013 6:25 am

      “or he tries to break into acting…”

      TOO LATE!

      http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1032787/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

  37. Peanut Eminem permalink
    April 19, 2013 5:56 am

    I see that resident satanist, bad RPG designer, and “banned for life from RPG NET” Darrick Dishaw is back and trying to rebrand himself as Old School.
    http://vengersatanis.blogspot.com/

    He should hook up with Grim and Rags to get a circle jerk of evil going.

  38. Sykirobme permalink
    April 19, 2013 6:17 am

    Zeb Cook is auctioning rare TSR material: http://randomwizard.blogspot.com/2013/04/david-zeb-cook-auctions-tsr-collection.html

    Go get it, GENE WAS THERE! You can pile up all the memorabilia and hit it with a flail. Be sure to put it up on YouTube.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      April 19, 2013 6:17 am

      …but leave the Hebrew PHB and DMG for Kent.

  39. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    April 19, 2013 6:18 pm

    Call Pat Robinson of the 700 Club! D&D is satin’s tewl again.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 19, 2013 8:36 pm

      Oh… the horror! Why can’t we be demonized by someone relevant?!

  40. Lord of the Things permalink
    April 19, 2013 7:47 pm

    Take a look at the latest MEGApost on google+ on RAGGI the IV’s channel. It is about copyright law (a very interesting subject).

    Anyway, Zak Blacksmith and some dude Allen go at it for about 300 rounds so grab a beer and smirk if you think you are smarter than those guys.

    Is it conceivable that Zak Shoesmith is the Duracell Bunny incarnate as a sort of human bunny? … gnaw … gnaw … gnaw … gnaw … gnaw … gnaw …

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 19, 2013 8:35 pm

      Good on ya, Things! Nice catch. i’m guessing Zak has been using Viagra to keep his keyboard fingers lively.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 19, 2013 9:27 pm

      My eyes are almost crossed, but I now have a new respect for Zak. What a fucking weasel. “I’m calling you on your straw man argument, but I’m slipping in my ad misericordiam.” And then “Please stop writing things that do not address the arguments put forward. Please instead quote and logically refute (with evidence) the ideas you are arguing with.” but “[Please do not expect to comport myself under the same terms.]”

      And…. I gave up around round 131. The long string of mostly incoherent rands was begging to make me stupid. What a shame. The topic is actually a most fascinating bit of moral complexity with a ton of historical landmarks. Ruined by children. I would love to ridicule them all, but I would have to use their own comments against them to do so. And that would just depress me.

      I’ve been working on a story about how the Barbie doll I stole from my sister’s room and vandalized was swept away by a fairy godmother and turned into a real… person. Feel free to sue me once I’m published, Zak.

    • April 19, 2013 10:07 pm

      Do we still have no explanation for why Zak gets his panties so twisted SO QUICKLY and SO IRREVOCABLY these days? The TARGA flap was his debutante ball and he got pinned with the biggest corsage because he maintained his cool throughout, despite douchey attacks from the OSR’s Moral Cuntjority. For about 6 months, he was the guy who would defuse bombs that others had thrown. Since then it’s been all downhill, thin-skinned and vicious as a wolverine. He routinely now berates even the people who agree with him. It’s been a dramatic transformation.

      Is business bad? Scrambling for LotFLOP pennies and hustling teaching gigs points in that direction. Are Mandy’s medical expenses causing anxiety? I thought she was Canadian and had a “Get into Hospital Free” card, but perhaps travel expenses are piling up? Maybe he wants out of that relationship but doesn’t want to be a heel and leave her while she’s sick. Where is all the anger coming from?

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 19, 2013 11:37 pm

        I’m too ADD to figure this one out. We need to recruit Schiz for this one–put his Attention Surplus Disorder to work.

      • April 20, 2013 8:03 am

        He’s just never been all that smart, strike one. Little fuck is cunning like a lingus but once he blew his art school load on the deeply design-deprived gamers’ faces, there wasn’t enough left up there to keep those bitches entertained. He doesn’t build anything to last. I don’t know how expensive Mandy is, but I’m not sure her current business plan is paying out either. Couples fight.

        The tendentious Alice rip-off is taking way too long. Come to think of it a lot of Raggi’s things are taking way too long. What up, Raggi? Your mid-life crisis ending too?

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 20, 2013 1:40 pm

        Thanks for taking the reins on that one. I was waking up in cold sweats thinking I was going to have to present a big-picture assessment from the communiques Zak has left all over the internet spray-vomit style.

        I’d been slacking and hadn’t paid much attention to Mandy before. Looks like she blogs, too. Not brilliant but coherent. Maybe she should be writing for Raggi.

        In any case, you’re absolutely right, Schiz. Whether Zak’s work product is protected for seven years, seventy years or in perpetuity, he needs to get himself off autopilot and start producing. If he’s not cutting it with regards to poiesis, then he needs to go to techne. Mandy has bills, after all.

        Speaking of the bottom line, sounds like they’re in on the ground floor re. porn. If Mandy can’t make money getting her holes filled at this time, Zak needs to think long and hard about putting his orifices to work. But he needs to decide soon whether he wants to be pretty or if he wants to be a badass. The current look is just a parody of both.

      • April 20, 2013 2:42 pm

        Shout-out to the LORD of the THINGS and Sykirobme for filling in key pieces of the picture. One of the sleeper agents sent me his Playgirl spread years ago and to my gimlet eye for cucumber the Jon Voight “or” Ratso Rizzo “decision” is not realistically on the table here. Too bad Fassbinder is dead, let’s put it that way.

        I also remember hearing that Vornheim was earning him more at its peak than the painting, so it’s poiesis or bust once his edge softens. He’s having his first show in three years. (His gallery is okay but nothing special on that block.) Angry young man keeps getting older but the real punks stay the same age and will always work a little cheaper.

        http://www.fredericksfreisergallery.com/artists/smith/press/index.html

      • April 20, 2013 2:53 pm

        Fuck, am I reading serious gallery copy trying to sell some serious wall space here or Uncle Carbuncle’s back issues of “Juxtapoz”?

        http://www.fredericksfreisergallery.com/exhibitions/past/smith_10/press_release.html

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 20, 2013 7:23 pm

        “The quintessential artist as a persona, of course, is Warhol, who transformed himself from a respected illustrator with season tickets to the opera into a teenybopper more interested in the Rolling Stones. The painter of pop became pop. For Smith, persona seems to fuel his artistic vision, rather than the other way around.”

        I once thought my own assessment of Mr. Smith was a bit harsh considering his girlfriend’s current condition. Now I see that my own assessment is quite stale (almost a dozen years old) and hardly original.

        It is normal for a teenage boy to dream of being incredibly popular and wealthy. Further, the dream of attaining that goal through one or more of the liberal arts is still a mainstay. However, most of us who had that dream usually figured that we would commit a great caper against the minds of men–we would simply convince them that we are more clever and brilliant than we really are. Rather than bother with that, Mr. Smith merely presents what he has on hand–not necessarily his best so far as we know–and expects everyone to accept it as the product of his greatness on nothing but his adolescent fiat. Now the adolescent is pushing forty, maybe he’ll start treating his chosen craft as work rather than as a means to become a celebrity/icon/whatever the fuck he wants to be…

        Sorry–I am a roleplaying hobbyist and have a tendency to drift into fantasy.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        April 20, 2013 7:46 pm

        “Gustav Klimpt”

        LOL

      • April 20, 2013 7:58 pm

        It would be almost pathetic, but the fact is, none of us would give a shit if he hadn’t tried to reinvent himself down here in gameland. He’s occasionally made the legit art press in the gossip pages, but that dried up four years ago. No substantive reviews, no notices of any kind except as “that kid with the mohawk.”

        While trying to get a sense of how seriously to take his dealers (she has cred, he is apparently better known for booking a big restaurant table once), I found something called his “Artfacts Ranking.” http://www.artfacts.net/de/kuenstler/zak-smith-15810/profil.html — low numbers are better, so someone like Chuck Close scores around 123 and Zak has crashed from about 6500 to 8500 since 2010.

        At least he had gaming to fall back on. I would be a little edgy too, I guess.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        April 20, 2013 10:59 pm

        I was not aware there were 8000 professional artists in the world.

        Could this mean that Zak Smith is among the least important artists in the world?

        Its time for Zak to contact Ian Miller and borrow one of his hair fine ink pens to make his shadow surfaces even scratchier.

        I drew a picture once but was advised it was only worth copywriting for about 25 minutes so I didn’t make any money from it. I added shadows from a scratchy Ian Miller pen and was told I could now copyright my work for 7 years.

      • April 21, 2013 7:37 am

        There are apparently more than 8,000 artists in the world — Ian Miller, John Blanche, Kelvin Green and other working luminaries don’t make the list at all because they don’t exhibit or sell into the narrow confines of the high art channel. Pure underground has-beens (Jim Woodring, Richard Sala, that guy who lived down the street from me) ping the rankings at around 40,000 to 80,000. Of course this is no indicator of quality, only buzz:

        “It works by ordering artists according to the professional attention that is invested in them. It provides the wider audience with a feeling for the standing of a particular artist in the eyes of the professionals but is not reflective of the artist’s actual economic success.”

        So eight years after a biennial add up to an 8,500. I guess the one thing that has to happen is that copyright laws have to protect work for at least eight years — because most of the stuff he’s selling now is from 2002-2004. Scratchier shadows might help.

      • April 21, 2013 10:29 am

        The SB-5 they dosed us with in the orphanage must be coming up again because I had a few minutes to check pornstars’ career against everyone else at the Whitney that year. Total of 108 exhibitors, 99 of them ranked. His 8,531 makes him the 90th most influential person in that show. Doesn’t seem to be an age thing — a couple of guys from the show his age or a little younger have broken into the top 2,000 and most of the people in his bracket are in their 50s, half-assed “collectives” or don’t publicize their age.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        April 22, 2013 11:26 am

        The thing that made the BlOwSR perk up, the porn connections, now seems long ago. Most of these girls are trying to distance themselves from porn. Sure, Satine still goes by the name and in this modern times cannot really escape the gross out shit she did for bucks (low end fetish porn has become the true Fear Factor – here, swallow this bucket of human waste), but call her a “porn chick” and she will go off on how she is a person and a human being and all that. Porn connections and being a “porn star” is ok for getting dorks to come play at a comic book shop, but call her a porn star on a blogs comment section and suddenly she is a “person” and not a “porn chick.”

        Cause he is a guy Zak can bask in having done some things marginally considered porn, but I think that shit is dried up. Real companies would not hire a puke like him to bang Brianna Banks or whoever the latest blond tart is. Mandy is a mess, and even though her video camera still works most runaways even when stoned want a couple of grand to do it in on film. So I think we see a lot of drying up as far as Zak is concerned, and I think eventually he will crumble under his own hubris and with any luck we’ll be treated to a Jamal style break down. And THAT is why this blog must go on. The true downfalls are yet to come. And WE get to enjoy the slow burn. Kind of like watching Mad Men.

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      April 20, 2013 9:14 am

      >>Where is all the anger coming from?

      Small man syndrome is my guess.

      I think he called the dude Allen ‘idiot’ more often than it has been used in any one thread here. But my favourite moments were where he closed his eyes, clasped his ears in his tiny hands, and squealed, ‘LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE’

      Then again perhaps it was more amusing when he declared on three occasions, ‘I AM THE GREATEST ARTIST IN THE U.S.’

      We are asked to call ‘artists’ these days those who rush to find in any old obscure niche a quirky technique or gimmick which readily yields to formula and stamps from this single pattern are called ‘art’.

  41. Timothy permalink
    April 20, 2013 8:15 am

    Now, now, Schiz, cut R4 some slack. It has only been 9 months since his July Grande Adventure Indieblow-blow campaign (which HAD to be done then or never – he said so!). I mean, who can possibly complete a 32-page project in a measly 9 months?

    • April 20, 2013 8:36 am

      I’d like to apologize to Mister IV. You can still work as fast as a younger man when you get the urge.

      Your new “free” kickstarted adventure clocked in at 96 fat pages and barely three months from brain fart to printer.

      About half the indiegogo campaigns were “in layout” or “layout complete” back in January, before that brain fart erupted. Rients seems over his experience. God knows where Kelvin and Guy From GWAR are.

      So what happened? Did the artists’ dads track them down in Toronto despite all their bad efforts and smear existential dread all over everything, or did those $28000 worth of projects just stall out because you let your farting call the enchantingly distracting tune?

      I forget, did he give the indiegogo money back on the $14000 worth of projects that didn’t fund? There was talk about that, but in the rush and excitement poor Zak’s Alice rip-off may be pretty far back on the bang bus now.

      • Timothy permalink
        April 20, 2013 8:57 am

        “Your new “free” kickstarted adventure clocked in at 96 fat pages and barely three months from brain fart to printer.”

        Actually, not quite true, amigo. Evidently, from his hinting on the LotFap website, the meat of this adventure is the Insect Shrine, which has been vaporware for 4 years or so. Seems like he threw his notes from that lost project together with an Angry Women From Venice Plus One Standard Issue Tentacle Hentai Monster vibe to see what sticks. So this “free” adventure has been a long time in the making – perhaps more highly anticipated than the Legendary Dumbermount!

      • April 20, 2013 9:01 am

        RAGGIAN BAIT AND SWITCH! The gentleman from wherever stands corrected!

      • April 20, 2013 9:22 am

        So as a relative beginner in the ways of the Raggi, I got a dumb question that will be fun to answer.

        Normally these “free dying retail channel day” giveaways exist to feed people back to your real $$$ products. Problem is every time I dig through the “heh heh heh” bullshit about negotiating the license to Ennis’s latest butt zombie epic or whatever, I usually find Raggi chortling about how all his stuff is almost sold out, three copies left, buy now because it ain’t coming back for ages, homies.

        So what is he supposed to be selling to the people who get one of these free giveaways and want to buy more? Sure, maybe he’s just doing this to score propaganda points for the fucking OSR Hooray, but am I missing something genius here?

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 21, 2013 7:09 pm

        Yeah… it takes some balls to ask people to pay for your marketing. It takes even bigger balls to run out of product and shut down the presses on products less than a couple of years old. I wonder what kind of deal Raggi makes with the talent… probably not the kind that the independent-minded small press DIY crowd approves of. But otherwise, all of his “last chance” hype is just a pile of shite.

        This really bugs me because I’m almost interested in the adventure made in this kickstarter…

        http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/lotfp-hardcover-and-adventures-project

        …but don’t give a rat’s ass about the rules and magic set. So what the fuck?

        Either Raggi is treating this as a limited edition and has bought out Hite’s rights to publish the adventure in the future, or we will see the adventure on Raggi’s site and/or some PDF peddler’s site in the future. There’s no way of knowing with certainty because, despite the thousands and thousands of words devoted to every page devoted to Raggi, none of those words express what he wants to be the future of the individual publication. Hell… “Revised” rules and magic? Exactly how long has LOTFP been out? If it needs a revision already, what the fuck happened the first time it came out?

        History’s assessment of Raggs the Fourth will be “Self-promotion pioneer who published roleplaying stuff. One product in twenty is fun to find on the secondary market.”

    • April 20, 2013 8:52 am

      So http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/broodmother-sky-fortress?c=activity actually updated. (I’m too lazy to scan his endless belching about “sick” comics he’s reading for news on his business.)

      Looks like Kelvin and Brockie are definitely the naughty ones. Brockie’s not surprising. The girlfriend knows people who invited GWAR to a family dinner once and they’re supposedly barely literate in any earth language. It will take longer to put those big hairy thoughts on screen.

      Rob Conley, I’m surprised at you. You usually turn in your homework first, but dying dad trumps all I guess. And the normally chatty Rients evidently needs a little padding around the edges to weigh in at even 40% the size of a “quite spacious” Seclusium. (Didn’t you force Baker to cut half of what he turned in, Raggi? Why not just put it back in?)

      Blames unreasonable deadlines, “my bad.”

      • April 22, 2013 4:55 am

        Anyone who bases any kind of philosophy or science on thought experiments is an imbecile. Only a presumptuous fuck-tard would think their imagination somehow equal to reality.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 22, 2013 11:40 am

        Mr. Apostrophe:

        I concede your point, but I’m a little confused. Did we start talking about Atlas Shrugged at some point in this thread?

      • April 23, 2013 4:12 am

        Have never read Atlas Shrugged. Maybe I should take a look…

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 23, 2013 8:01 am

        Noooooo!!!! Don’t do it! I can’t have that on my conscience!

      • April 23, 2013 9:22 am

        Looks like “Atlas Shrugged” is in the air today.

        http://stonefisting2.livejournal.com/

      • April 23, 2013 9:42 am

        Great Odin’s raven — that one’s a beaut, Clark! Gotta check out “Make Mine Freedom!” later today…

      • April 23, 2013 9:56 am

        “… if they weren’t too busy getting gay married to Baklunish and worse.” Like a Double McGangbang, I’m loving it. Can you start one for John Adams too?

      • Scott permalink
        April 23, 2013 9:59 am

        It’s … it’s beautiful

      • Timothy permalink
        April 23, 2013 11:06 am

        By Loki’s empty nutsack! That is awesome, Schiz.

        Baklunish golf clap, with an ale-mugged chorus of “Get in the hole!”

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 23, 2013 6:35 pm

        This is fucking AWESOME!!!

        Parodic genius… absolute parodic genius. I’m soooo verklempt!

        Ahem… as I was saying. I’m happy to see you toeing the line and standing up for what is right and natural in your three worlds. Mordenkainen claims that his crystal ball network promotes FAIRNESS as well as balance, but we need not settle for his disingenuous consensus-building rhetoric. We need someone who will stand up to Tenser’s insipid liberal rhetoric. Not to mention that vile dullard Serten (the Tower of Power’s very own Billy Carter).

        Until your next post, I’ll take rugged individualist witchcraft FTW!

  42. Zarathustra permalink
    April 21, 2013 5:10 pm

    FGG enters the “kickstarter debacle” race, which is now de rigeur in the OSR publishing scene. http://quicklyquietlycarefully.blogspot.com.au/2013/04/a-rant-about-monstrosities.html

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      April 21, 2013 7:44 pm

      Billionaire Bankers have a saying, “When you can’t think of new ways to make money from impoverished multitudes then it is time to hit the insane asylum to see if the inmates have any ideas.”

      Expect Billionaire Bankers some time soon to make a study of psychiatric reports looking at the osr and the osr kickstarter astral nexus.

    • SparkleMotion permalink
      April 22, 2013 7:14 am

      The ‘fiasco’ is a tempest in a teapot. The guy is ENRAGED!!! that Frog God dare not use the same art that was promised on one product and instead decided to use a different one. OF course Mr PantyTwist didn’t like that HIS book was chosen to have a different cover and REFUSED!!! to pay shipping charges holding up his order which was what his rant was trying to cover.

      In the end, people’s expectations are fucking all over the place and you either adapt with the times or write angry blog postings in a vapid section of the internet noone gives 2 shits about.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 22, 2013 12:29 pm

        This is the one big point in Kickstarter’s favor. A publisher who uses a kickstarter generates a lot more copy talking up the project than someone who has a product already made that he wants to have noticed. Hence there is a lot more opportunity to make promises that can later be broken. Also, there is much more opportunity for the promoter to make himself sound like an asshole. There is also greater opportunity to blow widely-known deadlines (rather than those only known in-house).

        The risk, of course, is that your final product might not be as interesting as the misadventures you created and endured while seeing the project through.

        So, Frog God, your whiny consumer only complained about the cover art? Slacker!!!

  43. unclecarbuncle permalink
    April 21, 2013 8:34 pm

    ELVATOR STOPS LONG TH WAY AN A GUY IN A BLUE CLOKE GETS IN MOONS AN STARS ON IT. NAMES SHIFRIED HAVE YOU SEEN A YELOW CAT? IT IS MAGICS AND I SEEK IT FOR GODDES TITTYS

    CANDI. NO BUT YOU CAN GETS OFF WEAR I GET OFF

  44. Lord of the Things permalink
    April 23, 2013 12:56 pm

    http://tao-dnd.blogspot.ie/2013/04/relevance.html

    >>>>If, however, by chance, you happen to BE a genius …

    It surprises me that at no time, even in their heyday, did the OSR or the relevant forums devote time to the question of Alexis Tao’s genius and how we as a community might benefit, or even triumph, from this stroke of fortune.

    When in the recesses of my mind I conjure for colloquy and inspiration, Bartok, Joyce and Klee, it disturbs me that loitering beyond to elevate the parlay are those geniuses of Dungeons & Dragonses ZAK SMITH & ALEXIS TAO. I will fight anyone who sniggers that ZAK SMITH & ALEXIS TAO are not geniuses OF THE FIRST WATER. You lie! Your pants are on fire I say!

    >>I hate linking this bastard [ydis] and giving him any readership, but since this is extremely relevant, go to the page, read the extensive comments about me (and my lack of importance)

    No-one calls me a ‘bastard’ anymore.

    • April 23, 2013 1:06 pm

      God damn, Ozzie Pippinger. I’m warning you. For your own good.

    • Timothy permalink
      April 23, 2013 1:44 pm

      God damn, I keep fogetting about L’il Lexi and his geek chorus of rancid ball-sniffers.

      I am betting that those guys don’t just have knees that jerk alike.

      But the fact that that “sexual adventurer” linked here – is there any more desperate plea for recognition than linking here and saying you are doing it reluctantly? Poor girl, nobody likes her…

      Nice find, kent. And no, no one calls you bastard anymore.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        April 23, 2013 2:14 pm

        Bullshit! That’s letting Dingleberry off easy!

  45. Lord of the Things permalink
    April 23, 2013 1:30 pm

    Also I am not taking sides in this man-fight between two heavy-weights ALEXIS TAO versus YDIS. Who knows who will win a throwdown between a bastard in tights and a genius with visible underpants?

    Nor am I shit-stirring. This has been a long time coming. Who is the best man in the OSR?

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      April 23, 2013 2:11 pm

      Alexis probably would wish he could be a man but he’s too much of a ewe to YDIS’s ram. Either way, he’s not even in the OSR these days and little if any attention is paid to him. Zak and his little ‘harem’ is much more interesting than a self loathing genderly confused bookish prattling poof. Did I say that right?
      FUCK PRETENTIOUS POSTING!

      • Timothy permalink
        April 24, 2013 6:46 am

        You said that right, CM. The only relevance he has anymore is reflected glory from this site.

        I mean, shit, was he even mentioned in this particular comment thread before he passive/agressively begged his drones to swarm here? His whining has become self-fulfilling prophecy.

  46. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 23, 2013 3:24 pm

    Awesome new kickstarter of our favorite god fearing D&D comic, that featured hot supermodel DM and suicidal suicide girls! The unblown on the chats are going bonkos for this one. They are already swooning over the lovely, lovely estrogen that will soon be filling up their DVD players (that are normally filled with gloryhole porn).

  47. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 23, 2013 3:38 pm

    Fuck, Pretentious–posting as ordered!

    Real life is interfering with my day. I”m just going to phone this one in with a reading assignment for Alexis….

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShowDontTell

    Furthermore, a legitimate demonstration of genius would be nice rather than a one-hour demonstration of how to stock hexes or the merits of having a special result for a roll of 13 on d20 during combat.

    Wait… it just occurred to me that you–Mr. Smolensk–you probably already think you’re contributing. Why don’t you do us all a favor and take a break from improving the game. Take a few days off, and read Atlas Shrugged in the meantime.

  48. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 23, 2013 8:21 pm

    Oh Lexi, please tell me you didn’t… okay, so you did:

    “You don’t have to be a nerd to play D&D; and not all of us who were despised by “the cool kids” were nerds. But the association has been bred viciously by television that only a complete fucking moron would remotely consider being within a hundred yards of anyone who played this game … and I addressed the need to eradicate that association. I addressed it with the use of several hundred words, and met with proof positive evidence – even proudly stated – that we SHOULD be hated as players of the game.”

    Counterargument the First: “Hated as players of the game”? Do you really think that the commenters here have never had anything to do with roleplaying? Young lady, you are delusional. Had I never played in my life… had I no love whatsoever for roleplaying… how easy would it be to ignore your self-important rambling monkey ass. Rather, I am grateful for the enjoyment I have received from the game and out of respect for the game I would prefer to marginalize the artists and visionaries that would turn a perfectly enjoyable game into a form of art. I would also rescue you from yourself; you appear to have locked yourself in an intellectual hyperbaric chamber with your ego and keyboard and have fallen madly in love with your own cognitive flatulence. You are that college student who, convinced that you are smarter than your professor, continue to turn in crap papers and bemoan the tenured moron’s inability to see your genius… only you’re still doing this shit twenty years after college is over. You are embarrassing yourself. You are also embarrassing normal people who also roleplay.

    Counterargument the Second: “the association has been bred viciously by television that only a complete fucking moron would remotely consider being within a hundred yards of anyone who played this game”. WRONG! The association has been bred unknowingly by game store inhabitants with questionable grooming habits and bloggers who use a game to inflate their egos beyond the capacites of their psyches. Here’s a thought experiment: Imagine you are an ordinary person with an open mind for all experiences. Then you read a blog where the author of the blog has written this:

    “It it not merely that I could possibly ‘not’ play and design this game … it is that playing and designing this game has been breath and blood for me. It is atman. It is the food upon which I dine, which excels and nourishes this brain that will never stop thinking nor shouting on what is possible, what must be tried and what can be achieved.”

    http://tao-dnd.blogspot.com/2013/04/life.html

    Your “atman”? Really?! I mean, don’t get me wrong. At least it ain’t your fucking “brahman”. I mean, we’d all be playing the Dear to your Egbert and calling your mom and shrink on the sly if it were your brahman. But you aren’t helping the game’s image; you’re hurting it more than the cheesy Santa adventure you despise. I saw the episode and thought it to be a cheesy pastiche of EX1/EX2. If my own comment elicits the response of “Dork!” from my gamer-friendly wife, what will your whiny little rants draw out from the ranks of the uninitiated? Kal wa-Chomer, chomer we-kal.

    Counterargument the Third (appropriated):

    “Send anyone claiming that their RPG activity is an art form my way, and I’ll gladly stick a pin in their head and deflate it just to have the satisfaction of the popping sound that makes.

    One might play a game artfully, but that makes neither the game nor its play art.”

    Ma gavte la nata, Lexi. Ma gavte la nata.

    • April 24, 2013 8:13 am

      You simply don’t understand. Alexis is just like Hamlet, only better!

  49. national77 permalink
    April 23, 2013 8:30 pm

    WELL ELVATOR TAKES TIME AN SHIFRIED ENS UP PULL OUT HIS COCK AN CANDI PULLS SWORD +1 AN BLOWS ALMOST HAPEN

  50. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 23, 2013 8:45 pm

    Get over the Intel commercial, Lexi. It’s cute, but its shelf life is limited. I’ faith, methinks ’tis too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise. Only
    this commendation I can afford it, that were it other than it is, it were unfunny, and being no other but as it is, I do not like it.”

    Lexi, I should refer you to Schiz’s new blog at http://stonefisting2.livejournal.com/

    Keep Keoland Keoish! exceeds that little Intel ad in humor as much as the first of May doth the last of December in beauty. Surprisingly, however, the message is the same…

    Our humor is not your humor.

    • Timothy permalink
      April 24, 2013 7:07 am

      Schiz continues to hit it out of the park with that blog.

      BUT…

      No anonymous comments?!? WTGDF?

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 24, 2013 8:26 am

        I get it. The parody must mirror its object, blah blah…

        Just post comments here. It’s a pain in the ass, but it’s safer. I’m inclined to do the same thing even though I’m not anon since I never know whether my two cents is going to be a worthwhile contribution or the equivalent of smearing one’s booger on a Durer engraving.

        Or set up a counterfeit identity.

  51. Lord of the Things permalink
    April 24, 2013 4:35 pm

    I love Bombay Mix. I drink MUCH more than usual when consuming Bombay Mix.

    Delicious. A delicious mix of nuts and twigs.

    Also,

    I am kinda like Robert de Niro.

    All of you guys are kinda like John Cazale.

    And that’s just for starters.

    • April 25, 2013 6:22 am

      It’s not surprising you enjoy the flavor of nuts and twigs.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        April 25, 2013 12:20 pm

        No more Bumboy Mix for you.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      April 25, 2013 12:46 pm

      “All of you guys are kinda like John Cazale.”

      I DO have a sizeable forehead. A fivehead, you might say.

      Ah, well, at least I get to go out at the toppa my game. No Fockers bullshit for me.

  52. SparkleMotion permalink
    April 24, 2013 6:12 pm

    I am utterly shocked, amazed, dismayed, and dumbfounded that noone picked up on the fact that Grognardia Games released a new product today:

    Thousand Suns Character sheet:

    http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/product/113918/Thousand-Suns-Character-Sheet

    SHOCKED I TELL YOU! SHOCKED!!!111!!1eleventy!

  53. Lord of the Things permalink
    April 25, 2013 2:12 am

    LOL from http://knights-n-knaves.com/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=11347

    PaperTigersAndPaychecks:

    >> Not to be taken all that seriously though. This is the Alehouse, and we behave like people in a tavern. There’s sawdust on the floor and a one-eyed hobbit in a cage hanging up by the entrance, and the bouncer’s a troll. Whenever Kellri posts anything you have to imagine him kicked back on a leather-padded armchair with a fat cigar in his mouth, a foamy pint of Bridgelington’s Bowel Basher in one hand and a viet call girl on the other. It doesn’t mean Mr Raggi’s anyone’s sworn enemy, it just means we don’t care if we offend him. <<

    LOL. That's not the image I have of this group of wet paper tigers who burst into tears in panic anytime they detect my presence on their forum.

    • Scott permalink
      April 25, 2013 4:43 am

      “Well, hey, I didn’t spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage.”

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        April 25, 2013 10:34 am

        That rings a bell! Can’t remember who said it, ydis?

      • Scott permalink
        April 25, 2013 10:38 am

        Guy in the X-Files, can’t remember the episode but it had lots of weird meta shit happening from multiple POVs

      • Scott permalink
        April 25, 2013 10:39 am

        It’s one of my stock quotes for the “hearty beer-drinkin carousin fellows well met” contingent of forumites … found it http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jose_Chung%27s_From_Outer_Space

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        April 25, 2013 11:18 am

        The quote reminds me of paunchy dudes in their forties reading pulpy commando books and watching Special Forces documentaries on youtube, sighing, ‘I should have tried out for the green berets’.

    • Timothy permalink
      April 25, 2013 6:34 am

      OK, whether those guys are actual pussies or not, that thread is funny as shit. Geoffie steps in to defend R4’s honor with his “no finer man in publishing” crap and then that T. Fister dude lights him up with

      “That’s because your kiddie-snuff-porn wankbook is what’s keeping his lights on. He has to bend over backwards to keep you happy because without being able to hitch a ride on your and Zak Smith’s “controversial” blog-buzz coattails all he’s got to offer is The Turd From Outer Space.”

      Hopefully that thread will go on for a while. The day is Jung.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        April 25, 2013 10:36 am

        You are mistaken if you think that forum can host an argument. Geoffrey is pathologically placid, if he wasn’t he would be banned.

      • Timothy permalink
        April 25, 2013 10:59 am

        I didn’t accuse them of being able or unable to host an arguement, kent. I just found it humourous.

        I didn’t think you were banned for being inplacid, but rather for being Irish.

        But I am ready to concede that I am mistaken on all counts.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        April 25, 2013 11:12 am

        Concede.

      • Timothy permalink
        April 25, 2013 12:33 pm

        Nah, changed my mind. I know you have a soft spot for Geoffie and Faggs, so that is prompting your inability to find humour in a situation you would normally be chastising us for not laughing at (even if we were).

        Maybe you and Fister should share some Bomboys. Or Viet Call Girls. The movement you need is on your shoulder.

    • April 25, 2013 11:53 am

      I didn’t know the fucking Jekyll & Hyde Club now rated as an authentic “tavern experience” instead of an off-label Disney ride. Bukowski Wept.

    • April 25, 2013 12:03 pm

      WTF is the “viet call girl” doing drinking with them? Is she off-duty? Cruising the annual chess club party for actual clients? Or is “viet call girl” some new euphemism for a fleshlight I didn’t know about, which puts the “foamy pint of Bridgelington’s Bowel Basher” in a whole other realm?

      “FUCK,” as the man says. Who labored over this box text, Jean fucking Wells?

      • April 25, 2013 12:44 pm

        I don’t think the call girl is real; at least that’s what I assume from the phrase “you have to imagine…”

      • April 25, 2013 12:48 pm

        Close your eyes and imagine that’s a “viet call girl” in his hand. The fucking magic of roll-playing!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        April 26, 2013 11:07 pm

        They are like a regular call girl, only the viet kind have the intoxicating scent of roverly estrogen.

  54. Recovering Retard permalink
    April 25, 2013 4:08 am

    What happens when the shock value wears off of his shit? Seriously, has anyone seen Marilyn Manson lately? Who’s ass will they lick when Raggi and his ilk go post-Antichrist Superstar and rock the aging artfag in too much mascara look? Will any of them wind up in jail for chaining an AIDS-infected male prostitute to a wall, like chubby Mr. George O’Dowd? Though it’d be hilarious to see them crying, ‘I’m a batty-boy, they’re going to kill me’ on a phone, behind safety glass, I doubt that’ll happen.
    Maybe these Lovecraftian Chomos need new material? After all, baby raping isn’t edgy enough, these days. Maybe they could incorporate some futa and crush with a side of vore? It’s probably been done already in a JRPG somewhere, so now what?
    In reality, these flabby fucks realize the whole of the tabeltop RPG industry is taking a big shit right now, and they’re barely bowl spatter. Sure, they can adorn themselves with the undigested corn of ritualistic child abuse, but they’ll get flushed all the same.
    It’s funny how these hyper-sensitive, socially inept ‘creative types’ can be. They deliberately try to offend the world whilst simultaneously crying about the blowback. To peer into their world is NOT gazing into the Abyss! It’s merely a colonoscopy of Gary Gygax’s fetid corpse.
    These OSR folk aren’t creative, aren’t innovative – hell, they aren’t even businessmen. They are emotionally stunted, compulsive masturbators who’s corpulant bodies continued to age whilst their minds have not.
    Anyone with rudimentary intellect will see these motherfuckers are reflections of their own inadequacies and fears. They cannot stand among men, and can only surround themselves with even weaker examples of their own bottom-feeding ilk.
    Is this too far? I think it’s not far enough. These mid-life crisis Peter Pans are fucking punks. I read their shit, and it amazes me how something that was a schoolboy hobby is now considered work! I have more respect for someone flipping burgers, scrubbing toilets, or working a register at Wal Mart than these half-wit copy & paste artists – that’s work, dumbfucks. You sick fucking faggots dwell in Greyhawk while your wives have to work to pay the bills? Do you know why she’s giving her pussy to the guy up the block? Of course, you’ll continue washing his smegma from her panties when you’re doing the laundry, Mr. Homemaker – you’re too old to get another bitch to pay your way, and you wouldn’t dare suck a dick while your father’s still alive! Maybe you failed your Wisdom check? Why do these assholes write about raping kids again? Goddamn.

    I know these fuckers come here and read what you YDIS guys say about them. They use you guys as a moral justification, a way of saying, ‘Sure, I live in a fantasy world and burden those around me with it, but look at how nasty THOSE assholes are.’

    Well, count me among the assholes, neckbeard. Beat your fucking pillow with your wooden sword before you cry in it – you failed at life, you failed at being a man.

    • Timothy permalink
      April 25, 2013 6:23 am

      I fail to see the problem with compulsive masturbation.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 25, 2013 7:56 pm

        Well, I wouldn’t require it from anyone above… say… forty-five….

        Oh wait… you said compulsive. Sorry… had a dyslexic moment there.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 25, 2013 6:41 am

      Daaaamn! I just read all that, and it gave me flashbacks from seventh grade when my dad took my AD&D books away because my grades were slipping

    • April 25, 2013 6:46 am

      when Raggi and his ilk go post-Antichrist Superstar and rock the aging artfag in too much mascara look

      Hasn’t this already happened?

  55. April 25, 2013 1:50 pm

    I think at this point I would like to have a staff artist on board here. Lovely estrogen, Viet call girls, the ol’ ball cup ‘n’ sniff, etc., I would like to see these occasions — moments of drama, pathos, triumph, perfidy — illustrated in gorgeous color (except where b&w makes for a more compelling rendition). Poag, snap to — are you still desperate for coin? I can pay a little.

    • April 25, 2013 2:20 pm

      I’d kick in for that. I see he now experiments with mixed media like “mosaic tile, dog hair, peanut butter” so would be perfect to capture estrogen on the waft or Mitch Conner, imaginary viet call girl who lives on Kellri’s hand.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        April 25, 2013 9:04 pm

        What does Kellri do anyways? Besides post smarmy comments at KKK&A that is.

    • Timothy permalink
      April 25, 2013 4:01 pm

      Kelvin Green would be available. His pedopumpkin is legendary OSaRt. Just don’t pay him up front, otherwise he’ll pull July Grand Adventure Campaign disappearing act.

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      April 25, 2013 7:11 pm

      >> I think at this point I would like to have a staff artist on board here.

      You can’t draw farts.

      • Zarathustra permalink
        April 25, 2013 7:35 pm

        I dunno, I got the distinct impression Lady Wrinlequim was letting one slide in her debut appearaance.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 25, 2013 7:43 pm

        YDIS isn’t going going to commission pictures of “twigs and berries” just to appease your autoerotic preferences, Kent. Go see if Raggi will accommodate you.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        April 26, 2013 6:16 am

        What on earth are you talking about?

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 26, 2013 6:05 pm

        Oops… looks like twigs and nuts is your metaphor of choice. Sorry ’bout that, Sodomy Boy.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        April 26, 2013 11:10 pm

        I don’t know about that, Kent. I’ve seen it in comics as a sound effect. PFFFFFFFTTTTT or something.

  56. April 25, 2013 7:55 pm

    Pleasure serves as a aromatize not possible to buy serve over some others without any obtaining couple loses over by yourself. shoes.fr http://c88.fr/

  57. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 26, 2013 10:46 am

    Fudgepack Friday: fanboy edition

    Which of these fictional hoochies do you think is most likely to take it up the ol’ Chocolate Shake Maker?

    The black bitch from Firefly

    The butterface Irish bitch from Doctor Who

    Hershels underused youngest daughter on Walking Dead

    *note: I stayed away from Game of Thrones on this one. They obviously all take it in the badonka.

    • April 26, 2013 11:52 am

      Good to see this feature is back. At first I thought this one was a trick question: Firefly is married to Fishburne, River Song married a German and turns out the guy who’s in love with Dr Who is actually not from Ireland after all. But all that butt bongo aside, the young lady from Waking Dead looks like she’d be totally into it.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 26, 2013 6:14 pm

        Hear, hear! It’s always best to side with youth. Greater elasticity ==》more adventurous pastimes.

  58. JRT permalink
    April 26, 2013 9:29 pm

    I’D SPIT ON THAT FELICIA DAY’S POOPER AND SHOVE IT IN HER OLD BROWN EYE THEN PULL IT OUT AND MAKE HER SUCK HER POOP SMEAR OFF MY DICK! THEN I’D PUSH MY THUMBS THROUGH HER EYEBALLS! OF COURSE I WOULD HAVE TO PULL ALL HER TEETH OUT WITH A PLIERS FIRST.

    IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR ON A FUNDGE PACK FRIDAYS?

  59. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    April 27, 2013 4:08 pm

    I c’mon guys, I was just talking about a little clean, friendly, log-jamming with consenting adult ladies. Don’t turn it into some weirdo, pedophilic, child-snuff gay-ass crap Geoffry and Raggi the last or Dramaqueen Zak snot-rockets out of their lesion-covered brains and call “weird fantasy.”

  60. Lord of the Things permalink
    April 28, 2013 2:17 pm

    Im thinking of taking the selection test for the S.A.S. having made a close study of the relevant youtube videos. It seems all you have to do is look exhausted and cock a dogged thumbs-up for the camera and when the camera crew depart scoff some cream cakes and coffee and catch up on your naps. I can’t tell if there is internet access on the Yorkshire moors so I may have to bring my mac and portable harddisk with movies to keep myself entertained. As an independent thinking Lord of the Things I will attire myself in a warm Puffa jacket and sneakers and get the lads to take turns carrying my pack as I “scout ahead” taking intelligence and scenic pictures with my camera.

    It takes extreme determination, self-motivation and resilience to make selection and these personality quirks I expect to pick up on the day.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 28, 2013 7:12 pm

      Never had any dealings with SAS. Recce believed in maintaining appearances, however. I remember being advised by a couple of Recce that “After about the twentieth mile of a forced march, you can use the smegma from under your balls to spiff up your buddy’s moustache.” After that, I never grew any facial hair until I was safely back in the States.

      I know you love your twigs and nuts, but those guys are just too much for you.

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      April 28, 2013 7:32 pm

      All jokes aside, I do think I would have made a great Super Army Soldier. I have a steely look which I use to great effect keeping people quiet in the cinema. I have a narrow moustache, kinda like a shadow under my nose. I can make do with eight or nine hours sleep each night (if the temperature is right). I wouldn’t need much training as I have watched all the great war movies. Physically … well … I hear special forces are all about the right mentality, and anyway, the male peaks athletically in his early forties.

      I particularly look forward, with all the downtime between assassinations, to teaching the SAS lads to play Dungeons & Dragons.

      • Timothy permalink
        April 29, 2013 6:53 am

        If it will speed things along, kent, I will endorse your candidacy.

        I just can’t help but think of how much more efficient the retaking of the Falklands would have been had kent been in the first wave. Argentinian manhood would have withered like Thatcher Wrinklequim in the Arctic level of dimmermount.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        April 29, 2013 10:59 am

        All it takes is for a few of us to get accepted, form a cadre and advocate a lowering of the entry requirements. Phase two involves getting the entire OSR into the regiment to change the face of Special Forces forever. Pampered, sheepish, indolent, selfish and unreliable, such is the character of modern man. Add childish and daydreamer to arrive at the character of a Gamer. Top all this off with the crankiness of the unappreciated know-it-all to paint the perfect picture of the OSR member. No terrorist will be safe in Real or Imaginary worlds.

      • Bigby's Greased Fist permalink
        April 29, 2013 12:36 pm

        No terrorist will be safe in Real or Imaginary worlds.

        The OSR brigade can bankrupt terror networks by convincing mujahideen to fund abortive Kickstarter Campaigns.

        “Backers at the $2,000 level will receive a 25mm miniature depicting them in suicide vest along with the other premiums”

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        April 29, 2013 1:48 pm

        “other premiums” being a selection of 25mm seraphic but slavish virgins whose tiny lead breasts and buttocks are frozen in the most enticing muslim fundamentalist poses.

  61. Lord of the Things permalink
    April 29, 2013 4:44 pm

    **FILM RECOMMENDATION**

    Ive been watching SEXY BEAST (2000) for the umpteenth time and was looking up the director on imdb and noticed the film has a rating of 7.1. This is far too low and I don’t know why. In comparison Goodfellas is 8.8. SEXY BEAST is a brilliant gangster movie. It has English actors in it and we all know that English actors are better than American actors. Ben Kingsley as a psychopath, Ian McShane (DeadWOOD), Ray Winstone (Robin of SherWOOD). Adult dialogue, slick direction, great music. Watch the film morons.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 29, 2013 8:09 pm

      Kent, I am shocked that you would refer to Messrs. Kingsley, McShane and Winstone as ‘film morons’.

      Furthermore, these comments are coming from nowhere. Stop ingesting any more of Gene’s bodily fluids; there’s no telling what kind of pharmacological effect they’re having on you.

    • April 30, 2013 6:59 am

      Indeed Sexy Beast is an excellent film and Kingsley an extraordinary actor.

  62. Timothy permalink
    April 30, 2013 1:52 pm

    Hey, goddamnit, Stonefisting has been suspended. What the fuck, did GOPagan go crying to the Valhallic internet police? First Dwimmerdust and now this. Hopefully Schiz will not disappear like IRWS!

    • April 30, 2013 1:53 pm

      He seemed a little depressed after pissing off something called “the Otiluke brothers.” I hope he’s okay.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      April 30, 2013 2:12 pm

      And KKK&A’s ‘Insect Shrine’ thread got locked today due to politics!
      FUCK!!-

      • Timothy permalink
        April 30, 2013 2:33 pm

        Yeah, that axemental faggot just can’t stop control himself.

        At least Kellri got another haymaker on Geoffie.

      • May 1, 2013 6:28 am

        Wait a minute. The thread is locked due to “politics”? What exactly is the Knobs & Kneebiters Almshouse official big boy definition of “politics”? It seems to me that people were remarking that (1) Raggi is overrated and (2) the rape and murder of little girls may not be an appropriate subject matter for a game. This is politics? And the tread was shut down by the same guy who, earlier in the thread, said that K&K is a rough-and-tumble tavern and they are not afraid of offending people.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 30, 2013 2:42 pm

      Son of a…

      Okay, whoever whined about Stonefisting is the lowest form of primordial excrement on the planet. He/she/it also belongs in Group W with the mother stabbers, father rapers and dog kickers. Schiz: If you’re up to the extra work, I’ll go in halfsies with you on a pay website provider to keep it up. Send me the address of someone/someplace you can use as an intermediary so you can remain anonymous.

      It’s your call, and I don’t want you to feel any pressure. But your shit was brilliant and needs to remain published. And if you don’t put it back up, the First Amendment dies a little.

      But no pressure….

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      May 1, 2013 11:04 am

      Sexy Beast was a good film, and Kingsley’s appearance and real life actor context on The Sopranos was almost mind blowing. Christopher strolling through the high end actors swag store with Ben and looking at free watches and shit was perhaps one of the most sublimely genius moments in Hollywood history.

      But anybody who thinks Sexy Beast was better than Goodfellas both doesn’t understand true greatness or is far more than half-a fag. Rejoice Kent, you get to be both. And as for your Sexy Beast love, you depressing, forum haunting sock puppet, you no doubt don’t really understand what is actually good about it. You just love that somebody says “cunt” a thousand times.

      As for “Carcoasa Cuntroversy,” I blame the old Zap and other underground comics. “Checkered Demon” and shit. There are two types of older gamers who read those. Those of us who laughed and got slightly titillated (as any pubescent kid would), then put it down to wank to Hustler or Playboy; and then there are the dudes like Geoffie and Raggi the Last who would continue looking at the comic and fap it to child murder and demon rape. As adults they incorporated that shit into their gaming and called it “weird.” For shizzle it’s weird guys. That’s why The Unblown love that shit. They’re fucking weird.

  63. Lord of the Things permalink
    April 30, 2013 4:29 pm

    Re: K&KA lock

    Being offended by the existence of Carcosa and railing against it is just low-brow censorship, which is characterised by statements which are all the essentially the same as “I am against this filth. That makes me a good person.” If only it was so easy to be a good person.

    KELLRI: As a father of 2 kids, who literally had to fight out of an abusive relationship, I get no voyeuristic joy from violent psychosexual ‘fantasy’. Those who do are either abusive themselves or have no experience with that kind of real-life insanity.

    The idea that ‘bad stuff happened to me in my life’ so I want to eradicate mention of that stuff in books and films strikes me as egomaniacal.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      April 30, 2013 4:54 pm

      Kent/Things:

      (Censure = Censorship) –> Incapable of functioning in public

      You need to sue the institution that gave you your Meánscoil education. If you went to college or a university, you need to sue for punitive damages.

      There is nothing wrong with forming a moral opinion about something. Suppressing a moral opinion, on the other hand, is an abomination.

      If someone’s moral opinion is defective, one should correct that opinion’s holder. Preferably with lots and lots of ridicule heaped on.

      Now, go sodomize yourself. I want to make sure your brain is awake when you Google censure and censorship. And I want to be really offensive.

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      April 30, 2013 5:22 pm

      You haven’t been paying attention if you are not aware that many people, typically politicised minorities, have long used ‘being offended’ as a primary means of influencing censors.

      The idea of censorship includes advocating censorship. You can be morally opposed to something without wanting to censor that thing.

    • Timothy permalink
      May 1, 2013 6:13 am

      kent, being morally disgusted by kiddie rape presented as a game activity should not be a controversy in itself. The meek acceptance and virulent defense of it should be. Amazing how many of you blOwSR gimps were titilated by it and use “censorship!” as an excuse to wallow in it.

      geoffie has a right to print it; the rest of the world has a right to voice their opinion on it. And that kind of content will generate strong opinions.

      As someone who routinely trumpets his infallible judgements of others, you should appreciate those making a stand you are unable to make.

  64. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    April 30, 2013 5:47 pm

    Yikes! You just had to play the “dictatorship of the politicised minority” card, didn’t you?

    Damn! What will I ever do now.

    Okay… here is your little problem to solve: If (‘being offended’ = censorship’), then what result if one is ‘offended by’ someone who advocates censorship? Use two Aristotelian maxims for a tie. Add in an apropos Heraclitean fragment or incorporate an on-point statement from Prof. Haack’s body of work, and I will humbly concede.

    But I don’t want to hear any “soft power… influence…” bullshit. There is a difference between encouraging someone to shut the fuck up and making someone shut the fuck up.

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      April 30, 2013 6:08 pm

      OK I’ll draw a line here and just say you are excitable and dumb.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        April 30, 2013 7:19 pm

        Heh… what a clever boy.

        Now I have an inkling of how Isaac Asimov felt when Harlan Ellison approached him at a bar and said “Well, I think you’re–a nothing.”

        You’re drawing a line? On a troll blog?! You might as well draw a big yellow stripe cown your back. Go away and accept British rule. I cannot look upon your dishonor.

    • Recovering Retard permalink
      May 1, 2013 8:18 am

      I’m gonna go a different route with this crap: These guys are scraping the bottom of the barrel because they haven’t an original thought in their fat little brains. No mature, intelligent human being would be down with this kind of ‘shock value’ dogshit. This merely exemplifies the overall lack of creativity and talent in the OSR. Elves and hobbits aren’t fun anymore? Throw in a little Adam Walsh and Jeffrey Dahmer – ooh, how unique! Fucking brilliant…

      Demons and magic were the big ‘no-no’, back in the day. The religious nuts got all in a tizzy over it. That was silly, we all know that. People were freaking out over harmless things which (more or less) existed in the realm of fantasy. Look at what that did to the whole RPG scene in general, and those assertions (true or not) still persist to this day.
      However, things like ritualistic molestation and child snuff do exist in reality – just read the news. These OSR faggots wanna align themselves with that kind of shit? I say, LET THEM.

      There’s a potential side effect to pushing this ‘Advanced Dungeons & Childmolesters’ filth they’ve never considered: What happens if some creep acts naughty and blames it on the shit they wrote? If just one of those sexually frustrated social retards does something heinous enough, do you think he’d man-the-fuck-up and take responsibility? No, he’d point his finger at one of the OSR douchebags and say, ‘This sexually charged literature made my Asperger’s act up, and it’s all HIS fault.’ I’m sure the media would be really nice towards a fat, white, ‘househusband’ shut-in who uses child-rape and murder as an RPG mechanic.

      Just a thought, I’m sure I’m WAY off base here. That’s never happened before – ask Rob Halford.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        May 1, 2013 8:50 am

        I don’t take issue with your point, R.R., but I don’t think you even have to go that far. I have two daughters, and I want them to like the hobby. If one of them pulled Carcosa off my bookshelf and started reading it, I would be embarrased in much the same way I can imagine being embarrassed if they had walked in on me while I had my dick up the cat’s ass. I think that alone–without any further speculation with regard to the genuinely deranged who may come into contact with the supplement–is reason enough not to own or utilize Carcosa.

        Let me summarize in a format that the OSR community understands:

        Presentation: 6 out of 10
        Creativity: 2 out of 10
        Utility: Negative infinity

        Buy this if: You want to limit the hobby to social pariahs that don’t interact with women enough to have any idea what do do with them–or if you fuck cats.

        Don’t buy this if: Your wife doesn’t tolerate anything worse than snuff porn.

      • May 1, 2013 1:34 pm

        I love Carcosa. I think I’d be much more embarrassed to be caught buttfucking a cat; I know for sure the cat would be horrified. Maybe there’s a middle ground that contains a more informed comparison? I’m thinking the level of embarrassment would be similar to sharting in the workplace or maybe discovering online an a2m video starring my mom.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        May 1, 2013 3:29 pm

        Ha! Fair enough. However, I believe that I will stick to my comparison and concede that it is flawed due to my complete ignorance of the subject matter on both sides.

        I hadn’t really considered arguments as to degree of embarrassment. I was mostly thinking that both would be circumstances where my response would have to be, “Oh my… how did _that_ get _there_?”

        I considered reconsidering my position on Carcosa, but I simply cannot budge. I had no problem with Monte Cooks 2002 BOVD, and Kestrel’s BOEF. However, my reaction to Carcosa is the same as Mr. Creosote’s reaction to the Maitre d’s offer of the mint….

      • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
        May 2, 2013 5:46 pm

        Whenever I open my copy of Carcosa, my cats run and hide.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        May 3, 2013 6:11 am

        Of course they do!!! The book is ninety-six pages of slaughter and degradation presented one ten-second info-byte at a time. It’s the “It’s a Small World” attraction of Creepy Horror Fantasy supplements.

        However, mice happen to love Carcosa. A mouse will bitch slap a snake if you read an excerpt from Carcosa to it.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        May 3, 2013 6:14 am

        Wait… disregard the last entry. I was flagged two days ago. No more hyperbole from the Pretentious Fuck….

        It’ll be like having to argue with half my brain shoved up my ass–just to make things fair for Kent.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        May 6, 2013 1:48 pm

        Dammit! So I’m talking to my four-year-old after Bible school, and I ask her which lesson she learned. She tells me all about the story of Moses and reminds that the story begins with Pharaoh’s command that “Every boy that is born to the Hebrews you shall throw into the Nile, but you shall let every girl live.” I thought that was a pretty gruesome story to be telling a four-year-old. Then I remembered the lesson we had from Judges 19 a couple of years ago–that was the one about the travelling Levite who sent his concubine out to be raped and killed by Benjamites so he wouldn’t have to endure their lustful advances himself. As if that wasn’t sick enough, the story goes on to describe the Levite’s subsequent actions:

        “27 When her master arose in the morning and opened the doors of the house and went out to go on his way, then behold, his concubine was lying at the doorway of the house with her hands on the threshold. 28 He said to her, ‘Get up and let us go,’ but there was no answer. Then he placed her on the donkey; and the man arose and went to his home. 29 When he entered his house, he took a knife and laid hold of his concubine and cut her in twelve pieces, limb by limb, and sent her throughout the territory of Israel. 30 All who saw it said, ‘Nothing like this has ever happened or been seen from the day when the sons of Israel came up from the land of Egypt to this day. Consider it, take counsel and speak up!'”

        I still have no desire to purchase Carcosa. However, since I have several Bibles scattered throughout the house, and encourage the children to read at least one version, I cannot in good conscience say that Carcosa is quantifiably worse than any book in the house.

        And in the event that we ever adopt a cat, the absence of Carcosa from the house should give it peace of mind.

  65. Arneson's Manboob permalink
    May 1, 2013 9:03 am

    It seems to me that, at this rate, a relative running a Kickstarter will soon become the leading cause of death in this country. I mean, call my cynical, but the timing seems suspect.

  66. Sykirobme permalink
    May 3, 2013 6:35 am

    James Mishler presents a completely original work on his blog:

    http://adventuresingaming2.blogspot.com/2013/05/southland-new-version-of-outdoor.html

    This is EXACTLY what we all need! I could never find this made in the exact same style using the exact same software with a simple Google search.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      May 3, 2013 7:18 am

      NOOOOOO!!! I’ll never understand the hex fetish. One thousand years from now our descendants will be writing dissertations full of obscure theories as to why the escapists among their ancestors littered their fantasy maps with useless interconnected line segments and four-digit numbers.

  67. May 4, 2013 4:49 pm

    Do these two look alike or what? That’s Rizak the Really Horrible on the left, and Bloodymage on the right… Same french-fry scarfing physique, same ‘metal studded crotch’ man-skirt, same goofy grin and Santa style cheeks and purse-sized eyepouches as well as faces that seem to transition from mouth to neck without the benefit of much chin… just get bloodymage to take off his specs and change his shirt, don a Raggi wig and fake beard and then – holy fuck, you would not be able to tell them apart!
    The similarities don’t end there — Bloodymage and Rizak are both small business owners —Rizak sells home made vanilla at local craft fairs: http://www.rizak.ca while, as you know, Bloodymage is trying to get his own publishing empire off the ground. Bloodymage dates a dog groomer while Rizak shares his buttery, bacon encrusted love with an ‘artist’ who weaves sweaters and whatnot from animal hair gathered from the floor of the local poodle salon… so both men have the love of a woman who enjoys a tangled mess and smells like a dirty sheep dog.
    Both of these internet stalwarts also look like they would definitely benefit from some additional support — they aren’t ready for the woman’s aisle but could probably find that something in a training bra would make the occassional jog to the refrigerator a bit less painful.

  68. May 4, 2013 6:34 pm

    I’m about to launch my Kickstarter for FATBEARDS& FUCKTARDS™ before the Kickstarter bubble finally bursts and I’m left with nothing. F&F is an OSR retroclone (natch) that uses my unique and innovative BALLCUP-N-SNIFF™ task resolution system. It will feature artwork in the old school style by Stefan Poag, so expect to see a lot of children being simultaneously raped and eaten by Orks (note original F&F spelling!) And they are also shitting. Alexis has agreed to write a chapter called IT COUNTS THE FUCKING HEXES ON THE MAP, and Rob Kuntz has come off the meth long enough to agree to write a three-part accompanying adventure series called EXPEDITION TO DOUCHENOZZLE SUCKDUNGEON™. Each adventure in the series may also be played alone because I don’t expect that Tea Bagging cunt to ever finish what he starts. It’s my turn to make some easy money off of these socially retarded BlOwSR neckbeards, so fuck you and please become a backer: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/bryanews/faggles-to-faggles-second-edition?ref=live

    • May 4, 2013 6:43 pm

      Kickstarter Update #1: The first stretch goal for James Raggi IV’s original F&F adventure LAMENTATIONS OF THE GINGER-PUBE STALKER has been unlocked!

  69. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    May 6, 2013 7:21 pm

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=61136

    Dunno if it’s a joke or serious, but the guy sure picked the right place to ask it!

    I’m guessing that the diabetes guys ucomfortably turn away to another thread, while the aspies guys jump right in to take the bait!

  70. Your Mom permalink
    May 6, 2013 7:30 pm

    How about a new post or something? This shit hole makes Jmal look goddamned productive.

    • Scott permalink
      May 6, 2013 7:32 pm

      The posts always suck balls, this is where the magic happens

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 6, 2013 8:19 pm

      ydis is like the corpse of El Cid, bouncing around on his horse like a stuffed toy with a goofy frozen grin. The idiots here are trotting along beside the horse having a conversation with a skull, the jaw of which is clacking open and shut at random.

      This place was only interesting whenever I condescended to entertain everybody.

      The smell of corpse flesh and unwashed scrotums here has for some time now been overpowered by a stench of what I can only call ‘moron brain sweat’.

      • May 7, 2013 7:52 am

        Still no blacks in your Africa campaign? What’s the point? I was expecting at least a fat-bottomed nubian princess…

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 7, 2013 1:25 pm

        The campaign is from the perspective of explorers of a no go continent. I was going to have slavery as a theme but ditched the idea and the inhabitants will be derived as much from Vance’s daft psychopathic enclaves as real world black africans from the 19th century.

        No overt black butts because nothing disrupts a game more than reminding guys that they want to rub one out.

      • May 7, 2013 1:32 pm

        Who needs to be reminded HAHAHA AMIRITE?!?!?!?!?

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        May 8, 2013 1:24 pm

        Brilliant! But if you have time to call Kent out on his andropause and/or anti-heterosexuality, you have time to post.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      May 6, 2013 10:16 pm

      Yeah… well, I would like to see YDIS ratchet down the quality control a little and post more often. Who cares if the post is shit? I just get tired of scrolling through the ridiculously long comment threads.

      Regarding Kent’s comment above–anyone remember this little nugget?

      Yeah? Well, I forgot I’m not qualified to talk to you.
      I’m sorry I can’t be Mister
      Hey, look at me. I’m Buddha on the mountaintop.
      You know what you are, man? You what what you remind me of?
      You’re like that guy, you know, with the…
      with the hat and the bells and the little, you know…
      The court jester.
      Yeah, right. Where everything’s so easy to laugh at…
      from a safe distance back in Clever-Clever Land.
      You know what happens to him?
      They find his skull in a grave, and they go…
      “Oh, I knew him, and he was funny. ”
      And the guy, the court jester, dies all by himself.

      Thank you, Kent, for your little pastiche of Ben Stiller’s character blowing his nut all over Ben Stiller’s directorial debut. You really out-Al Pachinoed yourself there, Sparky.

      Kent, I’ll be the first to admit that you’re the best of the anti-YDIS hecklers here. Unfortunately, that’s the slightest of complenments available in my current arsenal. If you’re absolutely incapable of being funny, you can at least try to be clever. The whole “I am going to douche it up with imagery and popular culture references” thing you’re doing isn’t amusing.

      Please try harder. Or just try. I give you more than enough material to work with. So do Carbuncle and Scott. All you have to do is summon up the tiniest bit of comedic energy. And as I hinted earlier, if you can’t pull of humorous, merely clever will do. And I’ll even go so far as to say that we’ll take offensive if you can’t pull off clever.

      But if you can’t even pull off offensive, just give it up. I’m sure by now even you are tired of reading your rants comparing yourself to actors and your other sundry vehicles for basking in your delusions of above-averageness.

    • May 7, 2013 7:08 am

      Hey man, it’s fantasy fucking baseball season. I’m fucking busy. Not to mention the Sharks AND the Warriors are in the playoffs. Eat my nuts, you got a goddamn keyboard you go write something. Butthole.

      • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
        May 7, 2013 12:43 pm

        Would it have been so hard to just POST this?:

        I have this fucking annoying barnacle attached to my website that’s more persistent than the crabs and wants me to post more because he’s afraid he’ll break the scroll wheel on his mouse checking for new comments. Check it out:

        “Yeah… well, I would like to see YDIS ratchet down the quality control a little and post more often. Who cares if the post is shit? I just get tired of scrolling through the ridiculously long comment threads.”

        Hey man, it’s fantasy fucking baseball season. I’m fucking busy. Not to mention the Sharks AND the Warriors are in the playoffs. Eat my nuts, you got a goddamn keyboard you go write something. Butthole.

        See? Problem solved.

        /s/ Butthole

      • May 7, 2013 1:26 pm

        You mean to tell me the troll blog is formatted for maximum annoyance? That’s weird.

  71. JRT permalink
    May 6, 2013 8:18 pm

    SPOILER ALERT! ROSE BUD IS NOT THE SLEIGH!!!

    http://carpgp.blogspot.com/2013/04/we-said-good-bye-to-our-little-rose-bud.html

    AT FIRST I THOUGHT HE FINALLY FOUND THE PERFECT SIZED BOX FOR THE DELVING DUMBER BOXED SET. BOY WAS I WRONG.

    YEAH I WENT THERE. HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?

    • Scott permalink
      May 6, 2013 8:26 pm

      No. What the fuck is wrong with you?

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 6, 2013 8:27 pm

      Not very much, actually. That was a shitty thing to even post, even for this place. BTW, how stretched out is your bung hole after your time in prison? I bet you give Kent’s Rectum a real run for his money now in the over sodomized department!

    • Recovering Retard permalink
      May 6, 2013 8:28 pm

      Bitch move.

    • Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
      May 6, 2013 10:26 pm

      -1

      • Francie permalink
        May 7, 2013 2:54 am

        Beyond low. You’re a fucking scumbag

  72. Recovering Retard permalink
    May 7, 2013 12:59 am

    Actually, this wouldn’t suprise me if this is one of the OSR fags… I smell a rat.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 7, 2013 6:07 am

      The BlOwSR “luminaries” are indeed a cadre of catty little school girls, but I doubt (read: hope and pray) even they would sink so low.

  73. Arneson's Manboob permalink
    May 9, 2013 5:44 am

    Hahaha

    I’m going to be honest. The hopes for this campaign are not looking good. The money is needed so that I can make a hotel reservation, and know that I can pay for it. The longer that I go without reaching at least half of my goal ($1000), the less likely that the trip is going to happen. This isn’t me trying to make a guilt trip, or anything like that, it is just evaluating the facts of travel, particularly to a big convention. The long that I have to wait to make my reservations, the more likely that rooms are going to sell out and the more likely that rooms are going to become more expensive (which will mean that I will end up having to raise more money than I initially planned).

    If I can’t reach $1000-$1500 within the next week or so, the likeliness is that I will not be able to attend GenCon this year. Since this isn’t like other crowdfunding sites, the money isn’t refunded if the goal isn’t met. The site is more like a virtual tip jar than anything else.

    If the goal isn’t raised, the money will be used towards the blog, to buy things to review and to help defray the cost of attending a couple of local conventions. I will be a guest again at Necronomicon this October, and I’ve been asked about running some games after hours at Fetish Con in August (the same weekend as GenCon interestingly), so those are the primary earmarks for the funds, should this campaign not succeed.

    I want this campaign to succeed, however, it is just going to take your help. I know that there are probably better things that money can be spent on than sending some geeky guy to a convention, but this is one that’s important to me. I hope that you’ll help out. 🙂

    http://www.gofundme.com/GenCon-Fund

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 9, 2013 7:00 am

      Yeah, what’s up with all these losers begging for money lately? I’m a manchild and I need a new car, a new house, a new computer, a trip to GenCon. You know what, fucktards? Fuck you and your first world problems! I’ll continue to give my money to people who really need it.

      • Scott permalink
        May 9, 2013 7:10 am

        I also intend to prolong my adolescence for as long as I possibly can. But that’s why I have a job … “relying on parents” is not the part of adolescence you want to extend.

      • May 24, 2013 9:17 am

        Game guy “down to his last dollars” seeks handout because the industry is “a tough one, an expensive one.” Will use the cash to pay taxes, health insurance, therapist, visit girlfriend (possibly in Canada?), party at fucking game conventions. Are the fucking things mandatory now?

        http://www.gofundme.com/helpjohnout

    • Timothy permalink
      May 9, 2013 7:18 am

      Fatboy should have been saving his bucks the last year instead of getting the third helping of cheescake. Then he could pay his own fucking way, like 30,000 people do every year at Gencon.

      We’ll see if blogger entitlement and gamers’ stockholm can find common ground to send lardo to Gencon. I am betting on failure (and subsequnet application of non-refundable tips into a weeklong McDonald’s Supersize bender).

    • Sykirobme permalink
      May 9, 2013 7:19 am

      WTF?! He’s just begging for money so he can go to GenCon?!

      Fuck this fatass. He can chew on that d30 for sustenance. Dorkland’s a shit blog anyway. GenCon is exalted by his absence.

    • May 9, 2013 8:39 am

      Why does he want to bother with Gen Con anyway? “Running some games after hours at Fetish Con” seems like a no-brainer to me. He can even “Book time in the Dungeon” the convention has available.

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 9, 2013 9:27 am

      In fairness he did add a smiley face at the end of his plea. That was how I could tell he was a decent rogue and that is why I gave the dude 20 bucks.

      I have to admit though that I seem to get more value from the various pyramid schemes I contribute to.

      • May 9, 2013 9:49 am

        Didn’t Jodi Arias add a smiley face at the end of her plea? Didn’t seem to help.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 9, 2013 10:44 am

        I think she tried the sad face thing in court. ‘I am a sad girl, just look at my sad face, my sad innocent face,’ she said in court.

  74. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    May 9, 2013 11:14 am

    When is somebody going to come up with a smiley that is a bewildered expression with a hot, cheesy load of spooge dripping off it?

    • Timothy permalink
      May 9, 2013 1:00 pm

      Why would someone use Raggi’s mugshot for a smiley?

  75. Pretentious Fuck (Mike Jamison) permalink
    May 9, 2013 2:30 pm

    As sad as this is, I am not entirely opposed to the organized begging aspect of this spectacle. I think the big problem is in his approach is that he couches his solicitation in the form of a request of a donation. I never understood why Mr. Maliszewski had a “DONATE” button on Grognardia, either. The word ‘donate’ seems to me to have different connotations than the one used by these obsessive ‘career’ bloggers.

    For purposes of full disclosure, I admit that I have donated to Anna Meyer’s Greyhawk map site. But the ‘donation’ was commensurate in value with the use I made of her maps. Aand aside from the need to keep my karma clean, I also hope that the project actually continues. On the other hand, I cannot summon any such desire to see the latter-day grognards who spew their RPG punditry at a rate of 3,000 words or more per day to profit from their douchebaggery.

    Perhaps all of these characters should place a ‘tip jar’ button on their site. The program should limit the ‘tip’ to 99 cents and should serve as a way to gauge their relative merits. This would be great feedback for these guys: If you can’t get anyone to throw some spare change your way, maybe you should wrap it up. Maybe they will listen to their market.

    Or there are people like Bloodymage–one might be inclined to throw some money his way just to make sure he has cab fare for his court-ordered counseling sessions.

  76. May 9, 2013 2:41 pm

    Also, I forgot to add that Marxian economics (as presented in Animal Crackers, not Das Kapital) should be applied in some cases. How much would it be worth for the peace of mind of knowing Tao of D&D would never update again? Perhaps we don’t have access to that much cash, but we could, perhaps, afford to keep posts under 500 words.

  77. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    May 9, 2013 8:13 pm

    Oh cry me a fucking river that this jerk off is going to have to sit home and keep two fingers up his sphincter as he moans passionately while looking at page 18 of the Monster Manual and trying desperately to suck his own flaccid cock. I agree wholeheartedly that this douchebag needs to just stay the fuck home. Why are all the OSR bloggers penniless fucking panhandlers?

  78. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 9, 2013 8:45 pm

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/08/cooper-union-presidents-office-occupy-tuition_n_3239403.html

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooper_Union

    Cooper Union looks sweet. I don’t think smart people should have to pay for *anything*.

  79. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    May 10, 2013 11:57 am

    Fudgepack Friday: Deee-nied! edition.

    Which blOwSR attention desperate dipshit is the most likely to be shut down by the significant other when they come a’ knockin’ on the forbidden backdoor on their birthday? The recently returned from self exile (apparently playing chess with homeless dudes in the park and starting a new blog for it; around his dozenth blog so far) Christian Walker, who is currently back at “Destination Unblown” posting about his Call of Cthulhu campaign that should be as big a winner as all his D&D campaigns; or, oh Captain my Captain and OSR internet publishing pioneer Bloodymage whose lady fair had to put up with his dragging her all the way to a hotel near Garycon, only to have to abort the mission when nobody would drop everything to drive their sorry asses to the con.

    Both of these non-gaming, long sufferning uggos have put up with a fair amount of gaming attention-whore douchery from their beau’s, but which one least deserves a dive into the rear entrance of Fortress Badabaskor?

    • Timothy permalink
      May 10, 2013 2:48 pm

      I remember the whole blogosphere jumping to C’s defense with that “I am Christian” meme when YDIS twisted his titty. So given the lack of comparable support for our Captain when he dissapeared, I’d say Bloodymage deserves postern gate entry as an act of karma.

  80. Zarathustra permalink
    May 10, 2013 6:11 pm

    That Dorkland guy takes the cake (lots of it, by the images). Not only does he beg for money on a crowdfunding site pretending it’s for a specific purpose, but he sneakily does it on a site where the money is taken, funded or not and no refunds. At what point did his manhood shrivel away leaving him a complete and utter failure who cannot even afford any more the hobbies of his childhood? Worse even than Blooeymage as this guy seems to have most of his faculties intact, rather than Blooeymages unlucky collection of natural 3’s, (applied in order, of course).

    At first I had a sneaky admiration for the people who winkle money out of the OSRtards. But it seems to be shooting fish in a barrel.

  81. Recovering Retard permalink
    May 10, 2013 8:26 pm

    Does this guy understand how dickless he sounds – does it matter? Is there no low too low? Why doesn’t this fat puke walk to Indianapolis? What a sickening asshole.

    So, this fat faggoty old creep wants $2000 to go to this Huckster Hajj of neckbeards and numbnuts? He offers interviews (with ‘limitations’) and teary-eyed gratitude as payback. Have you no shame, Dorkland?

    Remember those ‘feed a starving kid in Africa for $.30/per day’ ads? Well, that totals to $109.50 for one child over a one year period. So, for two grand, you could roughly feed 18 or so starving children, or you could send this grovelling man-child to rub moobs with his degenerate sister-boy posse? Hahaha, I love people with priorities!

    This is what you should have done, stupid: Since they schedule these things a year in advance, take your $ .30/day, put it in a bank account (maybe your aging parents could drive you to the bank?) and FUCKING SAVE IT UNTIL YOU HAVE ENOUGH.

    I realize most people like you are jobless househusbands, but hell, you could walk around town and FIND change everyday – you may even lose some weight, tubby. Fuck, even crackheads collect aluminum cans (or suck the odd dick) to make money. But you, Mr. Dorkland, are too fucking lazy to do that. Does it feel good to get other derelicts to pay your way? Is it nice to have internet sugar daddies? Can you even try to at least PRETEND to be a man, for once in your life? Fucking goddamn.

    • Recovering Retard permalink
      May 10, 2013 9:48 pm

      Yeah, I fucked up – he’d have to put back like $5.50/ a day to save up 2k in a year – sorry. Their ‘stupid’ is rubbing-off on me… Just pisses me off.

  82. Recovering Retard permalink
    May 10, 2013 8:46 pm

    Actually, I wanna follow-up my previous statement with this little idea:

    Woundstarter

    You want money, but don’t want to deliver? Fine, here’s a solution. I call it Woundstarter – funding thru promises of personal injury. If it means THAT much, you’d surely be willing to take an ass-whipping for it. Here’s the breakdown:

    $1 – A single bitch-slap

    $5 – A punch in your fat, Cheeto-filled stomach

    $10 – A kick in your non-existant balls

    $20 – A punch in the nose or mouth (funder choice)

    $50 – A three minute, empty-handed beating

    $100 – Five minute rubberhose treatment, plus one Abner Louima

    This is just a rough idea, but it’s designed to free the begging neckbeard of any accountability – think it’ll catch on? I hope so, I’d pay for some of that.

  83. Arneson's Manboob permalink
    May 12, 2013 2:44 pm

    Another SURE FIRE HIT from Mikey Nystul!

    http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/dungeon-3024

    The man has no shame – you’re in dutch with three fucked fundraisers already and now you’re begging on another one?

    Brass balls, is all I’m saying.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 12, 2013 10:18 pm

      I see he went with IndieGoGo flexible funding this time, so the fucktard gets to keep whatever is pledged no matter what even if he doesn’t make his goal. Shameless fucking cunt. I can’t wait to point and laugh at anyone stupid enough to fund this.

    • Timothy permalink
      May 13, 2013 9:46 am

      Hah! That project has been pulled already. The link now takes you to a project in the “Draft” stage with no information, but I saw it all earlier.

      He must have taken some shit for it and pulled it. Could he have possibly realized that starting a non-refundable fundraiser, while while still providing nothing after $75,000 from three others, was in poor form?

  84. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 12, 2013 8:37 pm

    Ive reached a point in my attitude to gamers, not just gamers but gaming itself, where I can sympathise with that guy who can’t remember why he once though inhumane farts were refreshing.

    It’s that moment of clarity where a girl you once fancied appears to look like a moray eel.

  85. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    May 12, 2013 10:26 pm

    More begging from industry “pros” wanting a free ride to GenCon:
    http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/get-industry-pros-to-gencon

    When I think of conventions and pros, I’m thinking hookers, not this herd of not fat cows.

    Ladies, and I use the term loosely, maybe if you were remotely attractive, even after a few drinks and an 8-ball of coke, I would consider it. But how would I know if I was fucking your pussy or just rubbing one out in a fat roll?

    • The Fire Giant That Killed Black Dougal permalink
      May 13, 2013 7:27 am

      And we have a repeat offender! She’s doing this shit every year now. Unfuckingbelievable.

      http://www.koboldpress.com/k/front-page13337.php#.UZD3tcu9KSM

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 13, 2013 7:47 am

      Quatre Parisiennes

    • Timothy permalink
      May 13, 2013 9:52 am

      Actually only one of the Lard Patrol in the picture is one of the three beggars (and its not the non-fat one with the chest tattoo that screams, “will fuck for #2 pencil shavings”). Not sure why they used that picture than separate ones of the three, which you can see if you scroll down. One is a dude, and the other chick is comparably decent (hmmm…maybe that is why that top picture was used, so people would pony up for the one who is a babe by contrast).

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 13, 2013 10:33 am

        So the Quatre Parisiennes are presented as likely patrons.

      • bad wolf permalink
        May 13, 2013 3:52 pm

        Christ, the decent looking one lives in Lafayette IN according to her profile–a distance of 62.8 miles from Indy.

      • Timothy permalink
        May 14, 2013 8:00 am

        Hey, you’re right, bad wolf. Maybe she needs to buy a car to get there?

    • Recovering Retard permalink
      May 13, 2013 10:35 pm

      That herd can kill an erection faster than they could kill a party pizza.
      It says the money will also help with ‘meal assistance’. Shovels and slop buckets?

      Ms. Stiles just exudes personality!

      She needs a honey-boo-boo.

      • May 14, 2013 8:11 am

        Apparently it’s some kind of donkey show: the game if you can “play neomages, kylen, humans, and mules.” Might be fun in some circles.

        I like the idea of that bizarre “meet the mendicants” photo on their gimme page being geared to reflect the marks themselves, not necessarily the grifters. Classic con. And then they’re going to spend all that precious cash on what exactly, souvenir T shirts and swag, right? The vendors are the ones who win. Which reminds me, if YDIS wants a table on next year’s beard party circuit we should probably start talking to them soon.

  86. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    May 12, 2013 10:38 pm

    I guess the good news is, only the wealthy sexy people can afford Gen Con now. I should check it out again, maybe show off my new Mercedes Benz SL-class roadster while I zoom past the motel 100 miles away from Indy that Bloodymage and Dorkland are stuck in looking for a ride.

  87. Zarathustra permalink
    May 13, 2013 6:26 am

    Looks like the unblown will fund those fatties too, 1/3 the way there with weeks to go.

    How long until scabarous Satine & co jump on this bandwagon?

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 13, 2013 8:56 am

      Saltine Crackwhore really puts the “stretch” into stretch goals! You could park a minivan in that overused snatch.

  88. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 13, 2013 10:39 am

    Why does Kracker-Toa keep referring to himself as a ‘writer’ as if repetition was a means of persuasion?

    Has anyone read the entirely of a single one of Tao’s posts? I haven’t (Im not special forces material). But I bet some of you have because, having nothing of value in your lives, you are addicted to observing gamer activity in the Big Brother mode. What about you El Cid?

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 13, 2013 10:49 am

      I contributed a fully detailed contemptuous comment to his blog (abiding by his comment rules) which he declined to post so he is a coward.

    • Timothy permalink
      May 13, 2013 10:55 am

      kent said: Im not special forces material

      God damnit, you mean I wasted my time sending in a glowing reccomendation to the head of Limey SAS depatment?

      Since you revealed youself for the wilt-in-the-face-of-martial-responsibility, pill-popping dope freak that you really are, I expect to at least be refunded on the cost of the Fed Ex Overnight letter. I will never have back the 27 seconds I wasted singing your praises, but I do feel that being renumerated for the postage for said failed missive is entirely reasonable.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 13, 2013 11:45 am

        Just a minute – there is something in my eye. Read – between – the – lines. Every artist in Paris wears a beret.

        I met her on Monday, ’twas my lucky bun day. You know what I mean.

        Im not special forces nor would I admit to being special forces if I was.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 13, 2013 11:48 am

        Tao’s blog is used in Guantanamo, talk about mud flaps, my girl’s got ’em, You know what I mean.

  89. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 13, 2013 10:46 am

    Also I think, for fun and as a test, we should have a thread/OP here on some gaming topic WHERE WE CAN ONLY BE COMPLIMENTARY ABOUT GAMERS.

    One thread of comments of positive reminiscences and sincere praise, in the absence of sarcasm, could be hilariously disorienting for irregular readers.

    Also it would give Scott an opportunity to contribute something to his favourite blog.

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 13, 2013 10:47 am

      Over to you EL CID.

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 13, 2013 11:58 am

      When I say ‘WE’ I say it in the sense of a PRINCE saying ‘WE’ when addressing his subjects and prisoners.

  90. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    May 13, 2013 11:40 am

    All these large ladies going to a con. Man, I bet the con-going Unblown are practically already swooning with visions of lovely, lovely estrogen dancing in their heads. Hm, the estrogen days of these ladies may be long gone, actually. Phantom estrogen? Armpit smell? Rank tuna? And buttcrack. And Aquanet…

    Goddamn, all these ladies look like the fat broads that used to come into the shoe shop and bully Al Bundy on Married With Children.

  91. Greyhawk Tabloid Gazetteer permalink
    May 13, 2013 1:36 pm

    How is it that intra-OSR in-fighting is going on and not getting covered on YDIS?

    Raven Crow King’s Nest is in some kind of ongoing fight with The Tao of D&D: http://ravencrowking.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-tao-of-wtf.html

    And in polite disagreement with Hack & Slash (although it might escalate): http://ravencrowking.blogspot.com/2013/05/fiction-first.html

    Meanwhile, Hack & Slash is trying to stay relevant by interviewing Monster Manual Sewn From Pants, and she can barely conceal her disdain for him or the interview: http://hackslashmaster.blogspot.com/2013/05/on-osr-new-wave-mel-black-of-monster.html

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 13, 2013 4:13 pm

      Great link. Scrap looks like David Bowie. She is the one person in the osr I would kiss with or without her permission if she would let me.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        May 13, 2013 4:58 pm

        I’m pretty sure Scrap Princess is actually a dude.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 13, 2013 6:14 pm

        She writes like a dude for sure. However, no-one has misrepresented themselves on the internet yet and if anyone did it would set such a precedent that the F-B-I would come down on them like a ton of bricks.

      • May 13, 2013 8:01 pm

        Every time I leave for a couple days your post count here goes through the roof and you flounce around like Little Lord Fauntleroy and play nice and try to make friends and pretend you’re running the show.

        Earn your keep. I want 100 words on why Scott’s such a fucking queer and I want them by morning.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 13, 2013 9:53 pm

        I can’t think of anything less spectacular than you arriving back after having left ‘for a couple of days’.

        Here is a fable that concerns you:

        Once there was a little girl who couldn’t tell the difference between wallpaper and her personality. She loved to stand unnoticed in rooms full of people, hiding in plain sight.

        One day she moved and said, ‘Hello, I am a little girl. I have not been pasted to the wall.’

        ‘Oh CHRIST!’ said some people. ‘Get that ugly girl out of here! ‘ said some other people.

      • May 13, 2013 10:22 pm

        I would never call you an ugly girl, to your face.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 13, 2013 4:26 pm

      Raven Crowking vs. Princess Alexis of Tao?!
      RETARD FIGHT!!!!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 13, 2013 4:31 pm

      And I’m designing Mel a special dildo with razor blade edges and rusty nail spikes for this week’s Fudge Pack Friday.

    • May 14, 2013 7:35 am

      She contained her disdain? Not sure that’s progress, but it is character development. I forget whether that’s forbidden bad OSR game crime this week or not.

    • Timothy permalink
      May 14, 2013 8:07 am

      It as kinda cool to see that Raven faggot take L’il Lexi apart sentence by agonizing sentence, underlining his ability to address his more thoughtful betters without resorting to strawmen, but that is still a clash of the insipid. It was nice of Raven to admit his inferiority in addressing this forum, as well, when one commenter reccomended doing so.

      And that Melmaphrodite person – Jeez, a fencepost would have provided deeper intellectual fare. “I’m creative – no, really.” You could almost hear the dull razor during the daily cutting ritual.

      • May 14, 2013 2:33 pm

        “no meme from Yourdungeonissuck is going to stick…”

        We have memes? Antibiotics should clear those up, right?

  92. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 13, 2013 3:13 pm

    Ive been watching a lot of Columbo lately.

    Im kinda like a cross between Columba and the Woody Wood Pecker.

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 13, 2013 3:14 pm

      … and Brendan Behan.

  93. JRT permalink
    May 13, 2013 6:40 pm

    BRAVE HALFWIT IS BACK TO SHIPPING DELVING DUMBER BOXED SETS!
    http://carpgp.blogspot.com/2013/05/bhp-is-back-to-shipping-delving-deeper.html

    I HOPE I THERE ISNT A MIX UP AND SOMEBODY GETS THE LUCKY BOX WITH LITTLE ROSE BUD IN IT!
    http://carpgp.blogspot.com/2013/04/we-said-good-bye-to-our-little-rose-bud.html

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 14, 2013 8:57 am

      Fuck you. Fuck you dead.

  94. JRT permalink
    May 13, 2013 6:40 pm

    BRAVE HALFWIT IS BACK TO SHIPPING DELVING DUMBER BOXED SETS!
    http://carpgp.blogspot.com/2013/05/bhp-is-back-to-shipping-delving-deeper.html

  95. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    May 14, 2013 8:55 am

    GenCon would be much better off if all of these beggars asking for money to go to GenCon weren’t at GenCon ever again. I know these types all too well. These are the same people that go out to dinner in a group, order the most expensive meal at the table, more alcoholic beverages than everyone else and two desserts “to share” and then don’t share. Then they are the first to suggest the bill should be divided equally when it comes. They also never seem to include the tip in the total when they want to divide the bill equally and throw their $20 dollar bill down (although their real total was more like $50) and still come back with “I’ll need change”. This is a true story, has happened more than once, and I’m sure you know it well. Does GenCon really need this trash, these unwashed butt cracks of Dorkland or undouched twats of fat chick D list designer chicks? Or will the the gamer goobs enable them with their hard earned unemployment benefits cash? Only time will tell.

  96. Zarathustra permalink
    May 14, 2013 5:16 pm

    I guarantee you the white knights of rpg-land will sweep the D-list ladies into Gen-con on a gold plated carpet. But since they are Pathfinder chicks (guessing from their stretch prizes), can the OSR be blameless?

  97. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    May 16, 2013 10:53 am

    Oh Captain, my Captain update:

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=61273

    • May 16, 2013 11:29 am

      You mean Google Translate doesn’t have an English-to-Dwarven option? WTF?

      I just checked Bing Translate. It doesn’t have Dwarven, but it does have Klingon. Is that close enough?

  98. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 16, 2013 12:21 pm

    Just a thought, but if the OSR had its own known world then that world, and the entirety of the imagination attendant on that world, could be eradicated all at once with a nuclear explosion. Think Martin Sheen in The Dead Zone, with gorgonmilk as the nutty fruitifiable Christopher Walken.

    http://gorgonmilk.blogspot.ie/2013/05/what-if-osr-had-its-own-known-world.html

  99. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 16, 2013 12:58 pm

    … and if you don’t mind just before I go, my wife says Im forgetful; she’s has a point. Anyway just before I go, and let me say I appreciate you reading this because you are a discriminating bunch of lads and I don’t want to take up too much of your valuable time reading this when I know you could be working on your fantasy campaigns, my wife doesn’t think much of fantasy gaming and she may be right. In fact she can be quite critical of the very idea of spending time in a world .which literally doesn’t exist but I can see you are getting impatient so let me just say that … I am kinda like Columbo. I am shabby and dumb on the outside but beneath all that … if i have had my daily bowl of chili, cigar and coffee and you are some kind of illogical reprobate then Im afraid you are very slowly going to realise that I am smarter than you.

    That’s my pitch for watching (re-watching) the endlessly fascinating Columbo. I keep thinking Ive burned out on those shows but boy oh boy they are for evah.

  100. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    May 16, 2013 2:50 pm

    Columbo was a kooky TV character. One of the trenchcoat elite. But the episodes were a lot like the sammiches at Subway; they all fucking taste the same. If you want an interesting character on old TV but one that is actually a cool character with a variety of plots and good writing, put some of your time into Quincy or Rockford.

    Old people liked Columbo. Old uncool people. Just having a quirky character and inserting another Hollywood character actor into the suspect role in the same fucking plot each weak is truly for idiots. Or did you say dumb? Whichever one it is, you’re that, Kent. Also unfunny, pretty much like your douche bag hero Columbo.

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 16, 2013 4:20 pm

      Oh, I was never clever enough to go to one of those fancy community colleges like you sir Captain Kirks Dick Blood. Then again, as a dime store hoodlum you have been captured again and again by rank and file policemen for your compulsive larceny of coloured boiled sweets. My captain you see he sends me on these cases where clever people have tried to enrich themselves through murder. Terrorizing candy store clerks propels you on a criminal career where our paths are unlikely to cross. My wife’s great grandmother says she loves the repeats of Rockford Files on the granny channel and she says to remind you to bring back the glass she uses to put her teeth in before she sucks your cock.

  101. Aos permalink
    May 16, 2013 4:13 pm

    Old people love Quincy too.

    • May 16, 2013 4:26 pm

      All this Quincy talk reminds me of Jack Klugman, which reminds me further of The Odd Couple. That was quality programming. Kent, do you know what happens when you ASSUME?

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      May 16, 2013 6:13 pm

      I’m sure some old people liked god damned Scooby Doo and the mother fucking Hair Bear Bunch. The point is that Columbo was the go-to old fogy show of it’s time prior to Matlock, probably due to a combination of static and familiar storylines and the fact that it was action-free and fully non-violent beyond the opening murder. It is on a par with Murder She Wrote for that shit. I didn’t like that boring ass one-joke character shit when I was 6 any more than I do now. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ burning on a funeral pyre, these fucking shows were an hour. AN HOUR. An hour of a mumbling Autistic detective hemming and hawing and wandering around rich peoples mansions. Lord kill me now instead of taking away an hour of my life on that shit.

      Kent, are you making sure you’re little slap n’ tickle mates at whatever-the-douche-roleplayingdotdipshit forums are getting the lowdown on your stuttering role-model so comfortingly portrayed by Maximillian from The Great Race? Maybe you can fit it in between conversations about hex stocking and gold standards in fantasy worlds?

  102. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    May 16, 2013 6:18 pm

    Oh, and The Odd Couple was a great show. Although it lacked some of the meaty meanness of the film (starts with a possible suicide, has a feeling that Oscar might actually murder the neat freak fag, and ends with the tone that they are never really going to be friends again), the toning down of the Jewy New Yorkness of the show made up for it.

    Didn’t Klugman and Randal do some weird Opera version of the show in the 80’s at some point?

  103. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 17, 2013 5:27 am

    Columbo is the shiznick.

    Something to keep an eye on is which characters see through his schtick; some do but remain irritated. Very few seem to get Columbo immediately as does Leslie Nielsen, in season one, where he comes across as a very warm friendly guy in a genuinely decent performance.

    Columbo doesn’t play the fool so much as he treats suspects extremely condescendingly as if they are children and like a teacher he is trying to draw out the extent of their knowledge. The difference is noticeable those times when suspect make particularly insulting remarks. Columbo hardens up and winds them with some insights.

    Anyone who doesn’t love the Columbo show goes in my bag of retards forever.

    • May 17, 2013 6:57 am

      Columbo is great TV and Peter Falk was quite talented.
      One of the best episodes is from the first season. The second episode IIRC.
      Steven Speilberg directs and the superb and ever charismatic but slightly swarmy Jack Cassidy is the murderer. One of many appearances.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 17, 2013 8:53 am

        Yeah that’s a good one for sure.

  104. Zarathustra permalink
    May 17, 2013 7:27 am

    Kent, you suck even more now.

    Before you were trying desperately to shoehorn in angles on whatever works you thought obscure enough to impress the yokels. You were a dick, but at least you had pretensions to grandeur.
    Now you’re gadzooking about the simplest levels characterisation in a hack TV show. And we all see that pot-bellied, covered in chip crumbs, stained t-shirt pretender behind the curtain.
    Please go back to being a high-falutin’ flute tootin’ dick.

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 17, 2013 9:01 am

      Columbo was inspired by Porfiry from Crime and Punishment.

      • Zarathustra permalink
        May 17, 2013 5:32 pm

        Just as Wine Coolers were inspired by wine.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 18, 2013 2:46 am

        I gave you a chance but Im afraid I have to return you to the bag of retards.

  105. genghisdon permalink
    May 17, 2013 7:49 am

    Is YDIS done? on hiatus?

    • May 17, 2013 9:13 am

      Found a dozen issues of Bear Loads Quarterly in a dumpster behind the church — marathon jacking sesh, bro. I’m curled into a torus and just cranking out hot shots right into my meat pucker. Shit’s gettin’ straight up smulgar in here, BRB in a couple weeks…

      • genghisdon permalink
        May 17, 2013 4:38 pm

        Well, so long as you are having fun & “recharging your batteries” on your sabbatical…

  106. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    May 17, 2013 7:51 am

    A Guide to Old People TV Shows

    Columbo – cool
    Barnaby Jones – not cool
    Monk – cool
    Matlock – not cool

    Quincy – the best
    Honorable Mention: The Rockford Files

    Will and Grace – Gay Cool
    Kent/Lord of the Things – Gay Fool

    • Timothy permalink
      May 17, 2013 10:38 am

      Rockford is cooler than Quincy, but that is splitting hairs.

      But Barnaby Jones was a mother fucking badass.

      The most memorable words of my childhood: “A Quinn-Martin Production!”

  107. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    May 17, 2013 7:58 am

    Murder She Wrote bitch gets too much credit. Check this out:

    Homicide Rates in the United States
    1. Cabot Cove, ME
    2. Detroit, MI
    3. St. Louis, MO
    4. Newark, NJ
    5. Baltimore, MD

    • Timothy permalink
      May 17, 2013 10:37 am

      God damn straight. The population of Cabot Cove was replaced more times than the roster of an infantry division in WW2.

      How the fuck did the real estate fucks ever get anybody to buy a hose there. “From this window you see the cliffs that Mr. Wallace was pushed from. Here you can see the canal where Ms. Jones was drowned a few weeeks ago. Over here are some beautiful oaks; Mary Brown was found hanging from that one last week. And from the bathroom, if you look up you will see the bloodstain from the previous owner bleeding out.

      “But, hey, we have a mystery writer in town, and I’m sure she’ll sign copies of her books for you. And find your murderer, should such an inevitabl-er, unlikely event occur. Please sign here.”

  108. Timothy permalink
    May 17, 2013 10:39 am

    I don’t know about you guys, but it makes me feel safe knowing that kentlumbo is on our side.

  109. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    May 17, 2013 2:43 pm

    My favorite SOSF had Arnold in it it (was he still “Arnold Strong?”). He ran after a purse snatcher and beat the shit out of the guy with both his muscle strength and retard strength. Later when a hot chick sees him with his tank top off she busts out laughing at his man boobs and gut grill and he wastes the bitch. But The Shnozola and Mr. Zeta Jones defeated him in the end. How funny would it have been if Columbo had to take on this character, and ended up getting pummelled around the room like a rag doll on the end of a raging bull’s horns. “Dis is wot I tink off yough’r brain and smarmy retard talk!”

    Did Murder She Wrote lady ever get raped or attempted raped by a younger guy like Edith Bunker did? Seems the 70’s was full of “very special” rape episodes, and the old ladies were not immune.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 17, 2013 8:36 pm

      Edith decided to wear pants against Archie’s orders to stay in her house dress so she got raped. It was her own fault, what she was wearing. Just ask Archie.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 17, 2013 8:38 pm

      Murder She Wrote Bitch never got raped, probably because she used to cook people into pies on Broadway and that scared the rapists away.

  110. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    May 17, 2013 8:34 pm

    Streets of San Francisco – Not an old people show.
    Also, Why was that old perv Columbo married to a 20 year old Kate Mulgrew?

  111. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 18, 2013 3:43 am

    Are you feeling groovy? Do you like dancing motion?

  112. Zak Smith permalink
    May 18, 2013 7:02 am

    My name is Zak. If you don’t know who I am then you must be from an unimportant city, far away.

    Let me get something straight right off the bat before I lose my temper. When I was small I was a lover man with a well honed cuntdip and wiggle for the camera. Then, one day I discovered I was a world famous artist. Then, one day two gay men were arguing over who should get to cut my hair and I decided to let both of them have their way with me.

    Enough about my perfections. I am here today to warn you old fashioned provincials to stay out of my Google+ gaming circle. If you come spying in my gaming circle and I catch you I will bite your ankles.

    Recently I posted some pictures of upended coke bottles I had spray painted and named “Futuristic City Mark I – Art”. But then K-k-k-K-k-k-Kent who was in my circle all along ridiculed my Futuristic City Mark I – Art and I banned him.

    So you have been warned rubes. If any of you or K-k-k-K-k-k-Kent sneak into my gaming circle and I find you I will climb on your shoe, clamber up your trouser leg, scrape back your sock and bite your fucking ankle.

  113. Ritter permalink
    May 18, 2013 10:54 am

    Zak has always irritated me. A pretentious, holier than thou self appointed ‘male feminist’ I know was into his art years ago and had prints of it all over his apartment (presumably because pretentious nudie pics are more feminist than non-pretentious nudie pics) and I thought it sucked then. Inspired by the above post, I looked up “Zak Smith overrated artist” in Google and found this gem from 2006:

    http://painternyc.blogspot.com/2006/03/zak-smith.html

    True to his thin-skinned nature, he goes on a tirade about halfway through the thread picking apart every critique in a borderline obsessive manner. What a fucking spoiled man child. He can’t handle criticism at all, and expects everyone to respond to his artwork the way his mommy did when he brought home finger paintings from kindergarten and mommy proudly put them on the fridge.

    • May 18, 2013 11:20 am

      That thread is fucking hilarious. He’s gotten so much stupider in the last seven years. Wonder where his career has gone.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        May 18, 2013 11:50 am

        Zak’s a dipshit and probably deserves some of the abuse dished out around here but I think he deserves to be left in obscurity and marginalized as a second rate artist and faggy haired crummy gamer.

        Wait. did I just post on this Corky thread again!?
        FUCK!

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 18, 2013 11:58 am

      I can’t convey, without an air horn, how pleased I am to read that thread. How pleeaasszzssed I am. Pleeaasszzssed.

      The thread is from 2006!? I feel thoroughly vindicated and hey, fair play to that art crowd and fuck all you OSR morons for not realizing what a cowardly vain dickhead Zak Smith is all along.

    • May 18, 2013 11:59 am

      Adjusting my square glasses I see not even rowdy nerds were enough to keep the poor guy’s latest gala show from hurting his standing in the art world. He scored 8,531 a month ago and now he’s hitting a new career low of 8,669. (Remember what Fagin told you, my lovelies: lower numbers mean more famous.) Looks like another fucking triumph for the legendary table-reservers at Fredericks & Freiser!

      Currently drinking: gin lemonade encrusted with dried lavender

    • Zak Smith permalink
      May 18, 2013 12:01 pm

      I’m warning you K-k-k-K-k-k-Kent !! Just one more word out of you … !! Woof !!

  114. Lord of the Things Rectum (formerly Kent's Rectum) permalink
    May 18, 2013 10:15 pm

    In case you were wondering what I’ve been up to, or should I say what’s been up me:

    As you’ve all probably guessed by his obsession, Kent and Zak S finally hooked up!

    • Timothy permalink
      May 19, 2013 7:16 am

      Wow, if Zak was going to photoshop a penis onto himself, you might have expected something other than size small.

    • May 19, 2013 9:00 am

      That would make a nice companion piece for that topless portrait of Bea Arthur that someone just bought for $1.9 mil.

  115. May 20, 2013 8:09 am

    Do I bench BJ Upton this week? Obviously he’s been shitting in my mouth all season. I know as soon as I bench him he’ll turn back the clock to last September and start blasting dongs left and right. I fucking hate this cocksucker. Potential replacements are Michael Brantley, Gerardo Parra and Mitch Moreland…

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      May 20, 2013 10:48 am

      Bench that bum and see if Reg Dunlop has come out of retirement or look and see if Ned Braden still plays. Failing that, see if Tim McCraken or Clarence ‘The Screaming Buffalo’ have negotiated reinstatement back into the league.
      That should fix your problems.

  116. Timothy permalink
    May 20, 2013 2:32 pm

    Would it be possible for YDIS to score an interview with Mikey Nystul? That would be great.

  117. Francie permalink
    May 21, 2013 2:02 pm

    this just made me think of ydis, i think it’s mainly the cat scene

  118. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 21, 2013 6:53 pm

    Humorous run through the latest Star Trek piece-of-shit-for-yanks movie:

    http://io9.com/star-trek-into-darkness-the-spoiler-faq-508927844

  119. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    May 22, 2013 10:47 am

    Heh. “Piece of shit for yanks”. I hate to admit it Kent, but like we yanks good troglodyte neighbors in Mehico (or the 30 living next door) like to say “Thas a goo juan, meng.”

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 22, 2013 11:36 am

      You have to wonder how 50 million / 100 million gets spent with so little regard for a basic standard of writing.

      I like how all the actors come across as *very* kind-of-dumb in shit movies because they adopt whatever posture they are told to for a paycheck, without protest, as if they wrote their own ridiculous lines. That’s just like in the pornos, but they don’t get to come in a woman’s mouth half way through.

  120. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 22, 2013 11:58 am

    *** BRAIN *** — *** POWER ***

    http://knights-n-knaves.com/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=11403

    • Timothy permalink
      May 22, 2013 12:56 pm

      Very deep thoughts. Axe mental continues to show why he is the sharpest mallet in the drawer. If only vargr1105 had the balls to show up and declare that RPG thespianist-immersion is darkie cultural Marxist indoctrination to suppress the traditional white heroes’ non-specific grunting.

    • Aos permalink
      May 22, 2013 2:31 pm

      I saw the word “immersion” and then looked at the crowd.
      No thank you.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        May 23, 2013 11:35 am

        I really don’t know what is worse; the endless droning (yes, I can hear it even though it is pure text) of the main Forum Fags is tough to slog thru. But the lesser chat creepos who want you to know (real bad) about the beer they are currently drinking or their prog rock knowledge are at least endlessly fun to roll eyes at.

        I think I’ll always give Foster a pass nowadays, based purely on his being one of the few Unblown voices that dared disrespect Jamal and Dwimmermount in the past.

        Anyway, looking forward to the next Garycon and Minicon type events. The forums are swimming with grade A goofing material during those golden times.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 23, 2013 12:51 pm

        Yes it is ‘daring’ to speak your mind on a forum where you are a moderator with a history of banning people who disagree with you.

      • Timothy permalink
        May 23, 2013 1:27 pm

        Are you still lugging that cross around with you, kent? Why that place, above all the others that you have been banned from (under multiple identities)?

        I didn’t realize it was Fister that gave you the finger from KKKA. Gotta be a insightful guy.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 23, 2013 4:28 pm

        ‘insightful’? What are you talking about?

        You have to be a stuttering prick to ban someone from a forum for arguing or mocking.

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 22, 2013 3:51 pm

      ‘Immersion’ has not been defined for gaming so it is open to interpretation AND highly dependent on each DM and his gaudy world. I will say that I have never gamed with anyone who did not take the game seriously, concentrate when Im speaking and contribute an interesting character to the scenario; that would be a loose definition for me. If guys are just going to dick around then why not go to the pub instead?

  121. Timothy permalink
    May 23, 2013 1:30 pm

    Faggi4 has finally realized that his products are worth jack shit.

    http://lotfp.blogspot.com/2013/05/lotfp-uk-games-expo-price-list.html

  122. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 23, 2013 9:18 pm

    This place is very fucking dull.

    It’s almost as if all of you are, well, … stupid.

    It’s almost as if all of you are, well, … a bunch of stupid one note cranks.

    That explains it:
    boring == stupid == stupid cunts == cunts == ydis regular & ydis snoops.

  123. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 24, 2013 10:38 am

    Im going to have to go back to the forums to meet interesting people, more interesting than here, and I hate doing that because they won’t let me use my original name.

    Then you will be sorry.

  124. Lord of the Things permalink
    May 24, 2013 10:50 am

    Here is an interview with Kevin Crawford who publishes under the nomen sine nomine:

    http://www.jennisodes.com/podcasts/sine-nomine/

    He sounds articulate to me and smart. Has anyone read Red Tide? Id like to hear about it because the pdf is pricey at 8 bucks.

    This is your last chance to be interesting to me.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      May 24, 2013 11:39 am

      ROFL:ROFL:LOL:ROFL:ROFL |
      || \ \ . / /
      L ____[ O\____ \ . \ . : : . / . /
      LOL===== / |_|_\ \\ (( “..:.:.. .:..:.)) // w00t!
      L | YDIS ) (((.:.”.KENT.”..: ))) /
      \__——-¬____/ \ ((“..”” FAIL “”..”)) / \o/
      }=WTFROCKET))= = = = = = = = = = = = = = \\ . :.:. .. . .. : // /
      \\.. ..:.. .:..// / \

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      May 25, 2013 7:08 am

      You really should play Exalted, Kent. It’s from White Wolf, so it’s full of pseudointellectual dribble just like everything you post, and you’d definitely fit right in with the whiny man cunts that play it.

  125. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    May 24, 2013 3:31 pm

    Have a cunting holiday weekend, you cunting cuntity cunt cunts!

  126. Jack permalink
    May 26, 2013 8:01 am

    Any chance I could get a shot at a front page post? I’ve just had a GEM of a conversation with Geoffrey McKinney. Dude is apparently a big fan of the Confederacy and not against slavery. If not, I can just plop, drop, and roll here, but this thread has gotten long in the tooth.

    My next trick will be to uncover which LotFP luminary is a Holocaust denier.

    • Timothy permalink
      May 26, 2013 9:27 am

      Since he is a dedicated tinfoil Randian, no surprise that Geoffie has no problem with slavery, but I’d still like to see his rationalization in his own flaccid words. YDIS is still in some meat-beating loop as alluded to a week or so ago, so probably no new post for another month or so. So post it here, please.

      As for Lotfappers with Holocaust denial cred, if we discount R4 and Geoffie, I guess that leaves the Gwar faggot and Vinnie Baker. Unless that “I’m so grim and rape is awesome” Desburgough punk has worked out something with Raggs.

      Which reminds me…has a single one of those July Grand Adventure-its-now-or-never modules been published?

      • Jack permalink
        May 26, 2013 9:59 am

        I will a tale unfold (with direct quotes, so no fudgin’ on my end).

        I found a lulzy thread on Enworld where people were talking to Gary Gygax. Geoffrey McKinney dropped this bit of sweetness and light: “Two historical events that cause me the most regret are the fall of the Christian Roman Empire in 1453 and the fall of the Confederate States of America in 1865. The alternate fiction I tend to prefer changes things so that the Christian Romans and the Confederates come out on top of the Turks and the Yankees.”

        Now, I don’t think you have to read between the lines too hard to see that what he regrets is those danged Muslims winning and…some Libertarian thing about state’s rights–with the added bonus of favoring state’s rights over an end to slavery.

        Now, I figured this would be a good thing to post on Google+ to illustrate why I can’t get down with the “hey that Carcosa guy is nice underneath it all” OSR Getalong Gang. Of course, I got a bunch of Devil’s Advocate and “let’s not be so quick to dismiss someone” bull. Typical.

        But then the man himself was summoned by Zak to address what he meant in that quote. It…got worse from there. Sayeth McKinney: “I regret the victory of the USA in Lincoln’s war because it paved the way for the Leviathan state that the USA has become.”

        Okay, pretty typical looney Randian nonsense. But here he failed to address whether getting rid of Evil Big Gov’t was worth slavery. So I asked him directly: “So basically you’re cool with trading a “Leviathan state” for the support of slavery?”

        His reply: “I have no doubt that slavery would have ended in both the USA and in the CSA without Lincoln’s war.”

        Yeah, because a government fighting for the institution of slavery is super likely to have abandoning said slavery on their Things To Do list. Also note the red herring “Lincoln’s War.” Note further that he dodged the actual question about whether Big Gov’t is worse than slavery. So I asked again: “Also, that’s a dodge to the question. It’s simple: what’s worse, big federal gov’t or slavery? Pick one.”

        His reply: “Depends on the circumstances. Sometimes big federal gov’t is worse, sometimes slavery is worse.”

        Slavery: Not Always the Worst Thing. In fact, slavery could be super easy-peasy according to this LotFP luminary: “While either would be horrible, I think I would pick being a slave, since at least that way I’d get more fresh air and sunshine.”

        That’s right folks, slavery wasn’t that bad because at least you could get some sunshine and fresh air while pickin’ cotton for whitey. He also went on to make some bullshit comparison between slavery and the modern prison system, and in doing so somehow failed to realize that slavery is a system you are born or sold into and prison…isn’t — as well as failing to see that the prison system is a system we can and should fix while slavery can’t actually be fixed because it is entirely fucked.

        So yeah, if the South had won we’d be better off and slavery isn’t _that bad guys_ sayeth McKinney. Makes sense that this guy wrote Carcosa. I am in a hobby with people who don’t see what’s so bad about slavery fml.

      • Timothy permalink
        May 26, 2013 10:26 am

        Ras H. Tafari.

        That dumbfuck needs to spend a week in a cabin on the plantation in the dead of winter. He also needs to put down his Nugent-penned alternative histories and read some, you know, actual history. Like World War 2, and the ensuing Cold War, and what the United States of America actually did during those times. A fractured USA/CSA would have been consumed by either the Nazis or communism, just as Ron Paul advocates. What a stupid fucking drone.

        Not that the USA is perfect, but god damn the world would be worse off if our “leviathan” state was a bunch of broken, trade-warring, slavery-loving pussy states.

        Geez, who knew that someone who fantasized about raping an 11 year old girl 11 times and then strangling her to death to summon a Cthulhu clone was not a reasonable guy?

    • Lord of the Things permalink
      May 26, 2013 9:58 am

      >> I’ve just had a GEM of a conversation with Geoffrey McKinney. Dude is apparently a big fan of the Confederacy and not against slavery.

      Now that’s more like it.

      >> Any chance I could get a shot at a front page post?

      As I have said a dozen times this place should be a forum not a blog. Your chat sounds interesting enough to wait for a front page OP.

      Was it a live exchange or an email back an forth?

      • Jack permalink
        May 26, 2013 10:00 am

        Posted it above, Kent. It was a Google+ exchange…you know, where the OSR goes to indulge in its historical revisionism.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 26, 2013 10:16 am

        If it was a google+ discussion you started I can’t find it. If it was a Zak thing then Im excluded.

        Anyway having read what you posted I will say that, as an apologist for Carcosa, who thinks Geoffrey is well tempered and independent minded, I have also described him as daft as a brush when it comes to real world religion and politics, so I personally am not surprised by your quotes.

        My *guess* is that he is smart but self-educated and never had his ideas tested by people with better understanding while he was forming them. Harmless.

      • Timothy permalink
        May 26, 2013 10:29 am

        Yeah, harmless. Like a Cleveland bus driver.

      • Lord of the Things permalink
        May 26, 2013 10:39 am

        You fear you may be swayed by Geoffrey’s arguments?

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