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Sneak peek at Gygax Magazine #2

February 12, 2013

By all accounts the debut of Gygax Magazine has been SPECTACULAR! Literally dozens were sold at the introductory event, and reportedly nearly a handful more have been sold online, including at least two year-long subscriptions. As Huell Howser might say, “HOW ABOUT THAT!!!”

Poised to erupt into raucous cheers, the hobby awaits eagerly Gygax Magazine #2… and it just so happens I’ve been made privy to an early look at the TOC:


  • This one time back in 1979, I actually kissed the hem of Gary’s bathrobe – Tim Kask / A fond look back at the early days of D&D.
  • You know, the only reason I agreed to participate here is because they told me Stross and Chabon were in it too, okay… so where are those guys, huh? HUH?!?!? – Cory Doctorow / Insights and anecdotes from modern gaming.
  • Hmm, they seem to be all in numerical order… – Steve Kenson / A detailed study of pagination strategies deployed in ICONS.
  • The Holocaust: it never happened – Gygax Magazine Contributing Editors / Conclusions from an overdue investigation.
  • Konsole Kritic’s Korner – James Maliszewski / Reviews of new releases for the Wii U.
  • There’s too many fucking faggots in here – Mike Mornard / A how-to on ragequitting gaming fora that tolerate progressive sympathies.
  • A whimsical d12 table – Jeff Rients / Titter-inducing juxtaposition of traditionally contrary themes.
  • sUGGestons and strageties for a make of yourgame, using any addition of theD&D game is yuo like!!!!!!1 – Robert Conley / This guy types with his fucking teeth, here’s more proof.
  • Does anyone know how I can monetize this? – James M. Ward / The author catalogs knickknacks and bric-a-brac acquired during a half-century of gaming (submit suggestions to Twitter @GygaxMagazine)
  • Would Daddy be proud of us? – Ernest Gary Gygax Jr. & Luke Gygax / Questions that might be asked in the lonely, dark hours of the night.


  • Who is John Galt… and what level is he? – Robert Kuntz and Terry Goodkind / Game-ready NPCs conjured from the classic novels of Ayn Rand.
  • The Goldilocks solution – Lenard Lakofka / Thrill your players with encumbrance optimization: adding medium belt pouches to any D&D-compatible game.
  • Magical miscellany – Dennis Sustare / 7 more spells with my name in them.

Gygax Magazine is still accepting submissions, if you have any ideas for additional articles list them in the comments and I will forward them to the editorial staff.

173 Comments leave one →
  1. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    February 12, 2013 8:34 pm

    You forgot Gene Weigel’s fanfic of ‘Gargling Gary’s Mighty Load’.and ‘Snuggling the Hoary Cheeks of my Master’.

    • February 12, 2013 9:21 pm

      I’d love to see what this well-balanced RPGer finds readily “jizzworthy” or “butt-alicious”! Now that’ll be a real punchline! Seriously, I’m not affiliated with anyone involved in “Gygax” anything. I haven’t even contributed a dime to his memorial. I don’t to go or care to go to “Gary Con” or other “Old-School-Label-Same-Old-Conventions”. Just ask yourself what the fuck are you playing thats so great because I’d love to hear about it.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 12, 2013 11:43 pm

        Gene, you can’t quite grasp the irony of your own reply can you? Gygax magazine would be the perfect platform for you! Finally, a place were you can tell the world of your Gygaxian cum guzzling adventures. Soft stroking your flaccid little dick too full jizz mode while being hailed as a champion of the Gygax name all these years. Too bad you’ll never find acceptance in any of your contemporaries forums and blogs, let alone Gygax Magazine.

        BTW you fat fuck, here’s a peek of your own ‘unboxing’ event of Gygax Magazine:

        13 minutes and 25 seconds of failure and fatbeards with FOUR parts to follow! FUCK! What the hell man? Were you trying to show all the fat beards you were planning to blow in the men’s room afterwards?
        And as for asking myself anything about what kind of game I enjoy, I have to ask you is this the type of game you enjoy?

      • February 13, 2013 6:22 am

        Now thats objective reporting, I mean on the flail… WHAT?

        Methinks that perhaps you’ve lost the point.

        I posted those videos to YouTube myself. My threshold for poking fun of myself is the size of a galaxy.

        On that note I’d to announce the Kickstarter to find any roleplaying game system that Gary Gygax was not involved with to actually play…

        Send all money to yourself.

      • February 13, 2013 7:23 am

        ‘Failures & Fatbeards’ would be an excellent title for a retro-clone.

      • February 13, 2013 7:25 am

        BTW, I don’t think the audience at that Gygax Games unboxing were there for anything E. Gary Gygax directly did. They all seemed to be playing STAR WARS at some point in the video… <<>> The Dwarven Forge stuff looked cool but too stylized for session after session.

        As for the magazine it was mostly anectdotal. Out of the three comics WHATS NEW actually seemed good in comparison anyways. They had some geek shitstain crap called THE WAY OF THE STICK or something and some blandy magician crapola. Baaaad! Not rad bad. Bad bad. I never thought I’d say WHATS NEW was decent but there it is. The new D&D style articles seemed all PERTHFERNDER and I think thats what the audience was there for.

        I’ve admitted the Gygax Games vids were boring and i posted it only because:

        A) I had nothing to do that day.
        B) I live where they were having it.
        C) If I was bored then why take my word for it in this day and age?

        oh and

        D)it had GYGAX in the name…

        Its fun to play with the
        “G”… “Y”… “G”… “A”… “X”…
        Its fun to play with the
        “G”… “Y”… “G”… “A”… “X”…
        They have everything
        For young men to enjoy.
        You can hang out with
        all the boys.
        Its fun to play with the
        “G”… “Y”… “G”… “A”… “X”…
        Its fun to play with the
        “G”… “Y”… “G”… “A”… “X”…

      • February 13, 2013 7:42 am

        I said <<>> and it disappeared.

      • February 13, 2013 7:46 am

        SHUDDER <<>> Shudder

        well one of those has to come out

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 13, 2013 8:09 am

        Gene you cockslobbering fuckfaced fuck! How could the point be anymore clear? You said that you aren’t affiliated or involved with anything Gygax or have given your Master a dime, yet you were there at the unveiling of the Gygax Magazine.
        So, I’ll spell it out for you again. GYGAX LOVING CULTISTS WILL JIZZ THEMSELVES BLIND IN ORDER TO BUY ANYTHING WITH THE NAME GYGAX ON IT NO MATTER IF IT’S A PIECE OF SHIT. It’s been going on since Mayfair Games came out with Yrrgsburgh (which you probably have three copies of) and is carrying on with this asswipe of a magazine. Cumgargling, fucked faced flabby titted fool that you are, you deny Gygaxian fanboi-ism but there you are. Buying Gygax magazine. Do you now see the irony? You and JaMal’s fanbois have a lot in common. FUCK!

      • February 13, 2013 8:21 am

        Look, sir… I’m not available if thats what your saying…

        Well… alright… but make it quick.


      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 13, 2013 8:29 am

        Gene you have me confused with Robbie Kuntz.. I’m a fish and chips kinda guy myself though.

  2. Shitty McTits permalink
    February 12, 2013 8:38 pm

    I love you, YDIS. The Goldilocks Solution is fucking genius.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      February 13, 2013 10:56 am

      Gene, don’t make with the fucking faggot-ass smileys here. Save them for the forums, you blithering bitch.

  3. Jason Coplen permalink
    February 12, 2013 10:55 pm

    Awesome! The Mike Mornard bit was icing on the cake!

  4. February 13, 2013 3:17 am

    I am actually looking forward to Jim’s next article in Gygax #3 — How to bilk $50,000 from fatbeards and perform a Jedi Mind Trick and have them think it is a good thing. (Working title)

    • Dumb Frost Doom permalink
      February 13, 2013 5:17 am

      Unfortunately he won’t finish writing the article, even after getting people to do free art for it.

      • February 13, 2013 5:52 am

        Well, you know, it takes time out of his day from wearing a bathrobe and playing video games.

  5. February 13, 2013 4:40 am

    You know here’s what those old dudes who made the Gygax Magazine do not get:

    2 steps:

    1. They should have used Kickstarter to fund this.

    2. Use the money for other things.

    3. Claim health issues or other such excuse.

    4. Fade away from the OSR scene.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      February 13, 2013 7:47 am

      Or they could be like Kuntz. Just take the money, produce nothing, and whine about how you’re an “artist” and no one understands when you’re taken to task.

      • February 13, 2013 8:11 am

        You mean Jim the Mal, right?

      • Sykirobme permalink
        February 13, 2013 10:48 am

        No, Jim just disappeared. Kuntz whined about how no one can hurry an “artist’s” work.

      • Schadenfreude permalink
        February 13, 2013 10:53 am

        Where did he do this whining? I’d love to take a look.

      • February 13, 2013 11:38 am

        What fucking art? Ripping off old Superman comics as inspiration for one’s mega dungeon?


      • Sykirobme permalink
        February 13, 2013 12:10 pm

        @Schadenfreude: read his blog, if you dare. The Necromancer thread linked in a thread below this one references this tendency of Kuntz’s, as well.

    • February 13, 2013 11:35 am

      2 x 2 steps that is.

  6. Radovarl permalink
    February 13, 2013 5:08 am

    You neglected to mention the letters column, “Out on a Ledge”, which will start running in the second issue, featuring reactions to previously published articles (read “shameless fanboy gushing”), perspectives and heated debate on weighty issues facing the OSR (e.g., “Ascending AC: Is it hopelessly confusing, just the same math in reverse, or both?”), and desperate pleas for all expense paid con appearances by the Gygax Mag luminaries. And of course the main attraction, letters from never-were wannabe OSR publishers begging for the seal of approval from the scions of House Gygax, casually mentioning in passing how Gary glanced at them meaningfully at GenCon XIV, thereby tacitly transferring the mantle of “One True Gawd of Gaming” to their humble shoulders.

    And since the brainchild behind the publication is Tim Kask, the genius behind Adventure Gaming magazine and the first thirty issues of The Dragon (yeah, before it was any good), you know you can expect the magazine to be worth reading as soon as he abandons his post in a huff over some perceived insult to his righteous authority.

  7. Schadenfreude permalink
    February 13, 2013 5:41 am

    I know that Old Geezer of is working on an article; I guess it won’t make it ’til issue #3. In it, he reveals how he totally pwned some dude who dared to question him!

    It went something like this:
    Dude posted something about how Gygax himself was an adversarial GM, and mentioned a specific example involving Rob Kuntz.

    Old Geezer said that’s bullshit, never happened; unless you can get Kunt or Gary to confirm this story, it’s just more made-up crap on the internet.

    Dude responds by posting not one but two quotes from Rob describing Gary as a DM, including a quote that Gary was gunning for the PCs.

    O.G. points out that dude’s description of the incident from the first post is slightly different from the description in the second and third posts (which dude had acknowledged). Therefore, despite citing Kuntz’s own words to prove the point, dude is wrong! Pwned! O.G. wins again!
    It continues on to the next page.

    Another victory for the True Sons of Gygax!

    • February 13, 2013 5:52 am

      Oh man, that is some funny shit.

      • Schadenfreude permalink
        February 13, 2013 6:01 am

        IRWS, O.G. played with Gygax! That means he’s right about everything! And he’s better than us! We should thank our lucky stars that O.G. and his ilk allow us to interact with them at all!

      • February 13, 2013 6:03 am

        I should interview O.G. then. After all I am starting to interview luminaries of this hobby. I have my first one posted today.

      • February 13, 2013 8:16 am

        Mornard’s biggest problem is that he’s secretly some new age RPGer who LARPed STAR WARS and whatever comes down the pipe. That motherfucker wouldn’t give me the time of day on Kuntz’s messageboards. So he’s got that trendy thing going for him. I wouldn’t be so fast to shit him down the river if thats your bag. But as far as I’m concerned I can’t find anything there. I was willing to give him a chance after I found out Kuntz’s deals with me were not even near square and maybe he was equally burnt but after a while I realized that I wouldn’t dress up as a Jedi with a braid if you paid me. Thats not only a horse of a different color but it doesn’t make sense to me. He’s just one of these “backback/Mountain Dew/soup of the day/anything goes if its rpg” types. Its anathema to me. If he is what embodies “old school” then fuck that I’d rather be called “Shirley school”. I’ve never met the guy but if hes anything like “JOHNNY STANDARD RPG” then good luck. He’s all yours.

        Thats the problem with these bogus mini-GenCons they want mini-dictatorial versions of the same thing thats been going on to please the Mornard type worldview. I’ve tried to get people together based on principle to make a true convention that would be content strict and even Gary Gygax told me to fuck off.

        Honestly? Mornard is a hero to anyone who dislikes my “elite” views. Now that said… FUCK HIM! 😉

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 13, 2013 8:26 am

        You seem quite upset that he wouldn’t give you the time of day.
        Gene. What’s wrong? You get your bitchtits hurt because someone dude you wouldn’t give the time of day to now has the ear of the OSR and the Gygaxian fanbois and it ain’t you?
        You fuck, you are so besides yourself aren’t you? If Rob Kuntz and this guy both showed up at your front door you wouldn’t know which one too suck off first. FUCK!

      • February 13, 2013 9:58 am

        The OSR is the biggest turkey shoot ever. To me its PERTHFERNDER PART DEUX but worse because it promises something else.

        RPG FAIL just keeps on FAILing.

        OSR “Grog-Mor-Nards” might apply to fucking everyone on forums regarding RPGs currently in my opinion.

        Malisewski is in the same boat as Mornard but so is the entire Cook “family” (and their nude houseboy Breault) as well as everyone else in RPG creation. So if these RPG criminals are so bad who are the sheriffs?

        Who are the good guys?

        Who are the winners?

        Lets get a rally going for these winners!

        Lets have a parade!

        Whose Game Does Not Suck?

      • February 13, 2013 10:45 am

        Gene, I don’t care what people say, these tirades of yours are loaded with harder nuggets than an old man junkie’s crapper come Friday morning. I have no fucking idea what “backback/Mountain Dew/soup of the day/anything goes if its rpg” or “Shirley school” means except “gay” but I know you hates it and that hate is good.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        February 13, 2013 10:49 am


      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 13, 2013 11:45 am

        JESUS TITTY FUCKING CHRIST! Gene is there any RPG that measures up on your flaccid dick scale? I think you’ve actually jumped the shark on RPG hate with almost everything out there.

  8. Timothy permalink
    February 13, 2013 7:09 am

    Hey, I can’t wait to read the Kuntz/Goodkind collaboration – that has to be worth at least $2 all by itself. The Conley piece will be, as always, illuminating.

    However, I would love to see a few more pieces:

    I Was the Best Editor the Dragon Ever Had and All I Got Was This Gay Utilikilt From Timmy Kask/Roger E. Moore.

    Deodorant: Divine Friend or Imperial Foe/Frank “Tank” Mentzer

    Does This Look Infected to You?/James Raggi IV

    The Unicorns of Pampadooloo/kent

    • Schadenfreude permalink
      February 13, 2013 7:31 am

      You left out the subtitle of Raggi’s article: “Does this look infected to you? And does that make you want to fuck it?”

      • February 13, 2013 8:12 am

        Or Zak’s — “Is it a trannie, or a porn star?”

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 13, 2013 8:34 am

        Oh yeah, speaking of Zak, where is that little sqwab in all this? I think the fatbeard quotient is probably too high for his liking.

      • February 13, 2013 10:35 am

        You know the beards would collectively shit themselves and then cancel their subscriptions if that “sex-friendly faggot” dripped his fluids anywhere near the GYGAX brand. It’s not like they haven’t done it before.

    • WTF? permalink
      February 13, 2013 9:02 am

      You forgot…

      Candy, Cartoons and Ritual Sacrifice: Getting Kids Involved In RPGs / Geoffrey McKinney

      • Timothy permalink
        February 13, 2013 10:00 am

        Ha! He could also do:

        Now that Bledsaw is Dead, Just File Off the Serial Numbers and Send it to Raggs: The True Story of Isle of the Unblown and Getting Published in the OSR.

      • February 13, 2013 10:32 am

        >Now that Bledsaw is Dead

        Surely there’s space in GYGAX for Mishler too. Maybe a how-to column on self-publishing for fun and profit?

  9. February 13, 2013 9:34 am

    May I suggest a regular column?

    Counting the Hexes — by Alexis/ Brilliant Commentaries Beyond Your Feeble Ability To Comprehend

    Of course, they’re going to need to increase the page count of the mag.

  10. February 13, 2013 9:49 am

    Question for you homos who pay attention to this sort of horseshit: is Rob Kuntz still working with Frog God Games, or working on material for them?

    • Timothy permalink
      February 13, 2013 9:55 am

      Well, I’m no homo, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

      Kuntz never worked with FGG. He did some stuff with Necromancer Games a few years ago, and then left them in the middle of a project because, well, Faye Dunaway, that’s why. There was bad blood between them after that.

      Maybe there is some new development, but it seems unlikely Bill/FGG would ever work with him again.

      • February 13, 2013 10:35 am

        He did Zayene for them?

        Did this project carry over from Necromancer? I’m doing a little investigative journalism — this Bill dude is the head dickweed at Frog God?

      • Timothy permalink
        February 13, 2013 11:00 am

        Bill and Clark were the head guys at Necromancer. They recruited Kuntz to continue and complete the Maze of Zayene stuff. He flaked out.

        This thread has some juicy info – you can find more poking around that subforum:

        Necro broke up when 4E came out and Clark didn’t like the GSL. Bill had already faded away, but he came back with FGG when he smelled some money in the Pathfinder/OSR thing.

      • February 13, 2013 11:03 am

        Lots to investigate at FGG. Include how Bill and Matt Finch fucked over BBP with Swords & Wizardry. Follow up with commentary on how big of a FAIL S&W is now.

      • February 13, 2013 11:14 am

        Wait a fucking minute. That link says, “Rob Kuntz, famed fantasy author and co-creator of the world’s most popular fantasy roleplaying game!”

        Co-creator? Who are they trying to fool?

      • February 13, 2013 12:12 pm

        The problem with the OSR hobby publishers is that they like to think that they have reinvented the wheel, and that they are doing this for the love. Yet, as soon as money crosses the palms, things change.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        February 13, 2013 12:33 pm

        That Necromancer thread is awesome.

      • February 13, 2013 12:49 pm

        I think Rob and Frog God are trying to get the band back together, using this guy who is masquerading as a not-for-profit OSR enthusiast:

      • Timothy permalink
        February 13, 2013 1:32 pm

        Ah, I see where that dude says his other team member is the “Sword and Wizardy editor” at Frog God. According to this page

        that narrows it to Matt Finch or hamburger-eating Regional Champ Aaron Zirkelbach. Bill is relentless self-promoter, so he would name himself if he was in there. My money is on burger boy.

        Why do you think these guys are teaming up with Kuntz? Do they allude to it in their latest rambling interview? No way I am watching an hour of Kuntz…Or is it just a hunch?

      • February 13, 2013 4:08 pm

        Burger boy posted a video a month ago, and now we have 1 of 3 eventual Kuntz videos up and the video guy, in between being smacked by Kent, lets on that one of the videos will be talking about a new book from Kuntz:

      • February 13, 2013 5:22 pm

        Good god, everyone in those pictures are ugly as sin. I am not sure about Rachel Ventura (Blonde Frog) because B&W pictures hide so much.

        Also, what is it with these hobby publishers and their desire to have bloated staff?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 14, 2013 8:45 am

        “Kent is a habitual troll who thrives on provoking arguments online. He seems to honestly believe he is more intelligent than most other people and somehow thinks this makes him superior in some way. He fails to see that this very attitude simply makes him appear to be a clown in the eyes of most people.”

        Well, austrodavicus has kent’s number at least…

  11. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    February 13, 2013 10:01 am

    Last I heard he was working on his City of Br(ass)for Troll Lord. Probably got fed up, He did with Paizo back in the Dungeon magazine days and shit out a few things forBlack Blade Publishing before becoming the Alex Jones for the Grogturds.

    • Schadenfreude permalink
      February 13, 2013 10:24 am

      Does anyone who’s worked with Kuntz in the last 20 years have anything good to say about him? It doesn’t seem like it. Then again, he’s so important and brilliant that the rest of us can’t be expected to understand him.

      • February 13, 2013 12:14 pm

        No one. The problem with Kuntz is that in his mind he is bigger than anyone. He feels that he is more important, and that he should have been the successor of Gygax.

  12. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 13, 2013 10:54 am

    In front of his computer in AZ, Blooeymage nervously checks YDIS and smiles and sighs with relief. He turns toward the bed where he sees the middle age, fugly dog trainer is scratching a nagging itch between the toes of her right foot while squinting and fumbling at the night table with her other hand trying to locate her glasses. “Babe,” says Blooey, “it’s finally over. After a month and a half it’s finally over.”

    She says nothing, because she is not really there.

    • GeneWeigel permalink
      February 13, 2013 11:54 am

      I was in the wake of the Kuntz BS with NG and one of those guys named Bill did some nervous breakdown on this old forum. I was believing they disagreed with Kuntz on some kind of principle and told the plain truth. It was pure BS. They should just told me in an email but they were so concerned about their business that they let me fry in some kind pitiful vengeance. I think I dislike them more. Just because they weren’t that good contentwise

      • Timothy permalink
        February 13, 2013 12:29 pm

        You sound like a cross between Kuntz and Conley, Genie.

        It is obvious that Kuntz couldn’t deliver the last part of the Zayene stuff, and that he played his victim card (like you are doing). Read the link above – if you really can read.

        So how did they let you “fry”? Post a link or put the Gygax pacifier back in.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 13, 2013 12:29 pm

        What a load of horseshit! Basically you are a toxic quality to any gaming community that no one would ever want around.. No one ‘let you fry’, you self martyring fuck. RKuntz and Bill just let you hang yourself and walked away from the fuck faced Gygax pole chocker that you are.

        BTW Breault DID hand you your own lily white ass!

      • GeneWeigel permalink
        February 13, 2013 2:11 pm

        Heh, all I can directly say is:

        I’m not a junkie so… don’t know why these people would make me think that there was something legitimate going on there because they got fried by it. I’m no victim but what of the real dudes who bought this malarkey after I warned them? Who mourns for their losses I don’t even recall who his next “marks” were but at least I warned them

  13. kent permalink
    February 13, 2013 2:17 pm

    Good OP.


    Tedious comments.


  14. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 13, 2013 2:51 pm

    Another proud member of the G.A.F.U.S. Society (“Gay-Ass-Faggots-Use-Smilies”).

    • kent permalink
      February 13, 2013 4:08 pm

      Jesus will be paying you a visit soon, leper.


      You and Arneson’s Spectre are the only certifiable commenters here. It would not surprise me to learn you were posting comments from the same mental institution.


      • February 13, 2013 4:12 pm

        Wherein the Kuntz video does he talk about his new book?

      • kent permalink
        February 13, 2013 4:21 pm

        There is a point where he mutters jokingly about killing GROGGGG-nard if he discovers too much about his work on OD&D-like open models of gaming. The rest of the interview is full of coy inarticulate repetitive references to this.

        I actually respect and understand what he is saying about how closed and limited most gamers are following the TSR models as if that was everything D&D was about. I just wish he would make his points without trying to make money from it.

      • kent permalink
        February 13, 2013 4:23 pm

        Oh, 🙂

      • February 13, 2013 5:55 pm

        Kent the Mighty, another of your lepers is calling! This one begs for a thread lock, to ensure his word is the last:

      • kent permalink
        February 13, 2013 6:28 pm

        After three years online in these forums I still do not understand how someone posting a video interview thinks they have a right to only,”+1. Good on ya mate!” kind of feedback. Why would they even want that all the time.

        Worse is the hysteria and mob lynching associated with ordinary criticism on forums.

        I don’t understand it. Its not adult.

      • February 13, 2013 7:14 pm

        They’re trying to sell things, Kent. Intruding on their commercial is not allowed — that contaminates the message and could potentially spoil a sale.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 14, 2013 8:47 am

        “Kent is a habitual troll who thrives on provoking arguments online. He seems to honestly believe he is more intelligent than most other people and somehow thinks this makes him superior in some way. He fails to see that this very attitude simply makes him appear to be a clown in the eyes of most people.”

        austrodavicus is spot on about kent though.

      • Lord of Green Drizzleshits permalink
        February 14, 2013 1:50 pm

        austrodavicus is the lapdog of the Jamal-escenti. His nose is so far up their asses, it’s hard to tell where his nostrils end and their stomach ulcers begin.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 14, 2013 6:37 pm

        You are of course correct, Drizzleshits. I was just pointing out his Idiot Savant-like wisdom regarding Kent.

    • February 13, 2013 6:27 pm

      😉 its not winking. I think its more like I’m stabbing peoples eyes…

  15. Francie permalink
    February 13, 2013 3:40 pm

    I can see why Gene’s posts might a few of the highly-strung shit-belchers around here the wrong way, but fucking hell he deserves some credit for posting a video of himself weakly knocking an actual flail against a board. Go Gene, and fuck the spittle flecked ied sufferers

    • February 13, 2013 6:45 pm

      That was hard ass plaster from the 1920’s, I think… What it did do was make clean quarter size holes which was interesting. That IED remark is weird. What is that supposed to mean? An anti-war remark about weapons? Bizarre!

      • Francie permalink
        February 14, 2013 1:28 am

        Sorry Gene, I had no idea. Those guys didn’t fuck about, 1920’s ass plaster was built to last. I am most definitely not anti-war by the way, I think it’s mostly awesome.

      • Francie permalink
        February 14, 2013 6:02 am

        Textbook cases abound on this forum for sure – many sweaty twitching palpitators sweating and swearing furiously as they shake their tiny fists at Gene or James or whoever

        “Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a behavioral disorder characterized by extreme expressions of anger, often to the point of uncontrollable rage, that are disproportionate to the situation at hand. It is currently categorized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as an impulse control disorder.

        Impulsive aggression is unpremeditated, and is defined by a disproportionate reaction to any provocation, real or perceived.

        Individuals diagnosed with IED report their outbursts were brief (lasting less than an hour), with a variety of bodily symptoms (sweating, chest tightness, twitching, palpitations) reported by a third of one sample. The violent acts were frequently reported accompanied by a sensation of relief, and in some cases, pleasure, but accompanied by remorse after the fact.”

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 14, 2013 7:49 am

        Hey Francie this ain’t a fucking forum. You want one of those go give YDIS a blumpkin and ask him. During that you realize no one here gets mad or needs copy and paste psychotherapy to settle their tits down.

      • February 14, 2013 7:58 am

        Or just give me a blumpkin ’cause I’m into blumpkins. Either way.

      • February 14, 2013 8:00 am

        All these sex jokes and one seeming off track remark threw me way off.

        Can I give evil wink here? Nooo… I’ll skip it.

        Impulsive aggression, you say? Thats weird.

        Alright if that is true, then do you think its a genotype of rpg gamer? This aggressor breed? I can verify that there is a thief genotype who plays thieves from experience for sure. Maybe I closed the doors for that type of player or perhaps its simply because I’m outspoken that they just fall in line.

        The only rip the character sheet guy I know eventually had a nervous breakdown.

      • Francie permalink
        February 14, 2013 8:46 am

        Moob, I was kind enough to give Gene an explanation on the IED thing since he was all pissy about my perceived anti-war stance. The quid pro quo is that he can now give Suckling that tender Valentine’s day blumpkin he appears to be so keen on.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 14, 2013 10:50 am

        Explaining anything to Gene is a complete waste of ti…waitaminit!!!
        I hearby, nominate Francie as the YDIS mental helper and this for that special blumpkin giver for all!
        oh and umm…

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 13, 2013 7:27 pm

      Highly-strung shit-belchers ?! What the hell Francie?! I had cancer last year. Or at least I thought I did. Turns out it was a moldy Cheetos stuck under my left man titty. After that I hold nothing back. If Weigel puts up a video of a four part unveiling of Gygax Magazine and says he did it because he was bored instead of saying he was looking to play Rusty Trombone with Tim Kask who am I to judge?
      Still, he has bigger man udders than me and I hate him eternally for that.

      • February 13, 2013 8:16 pm

        And heres the brutal truth:

        The technology is easier than it used to be, Its all one click with the new cameras.

        I was around Tim Kask briefly and I honestly couldn’t think of anything to ask.

        I’m sure they all had fun back in the day but honestly the only reason I talked to Gary was not to see how he measured on the weird games graph compared to other game designers (which seems to be the source of this cock and balls homosexual derision. Sandy Peterson? Is that you?) or because he was a celebrity but it was because he actually talked content and not business side BS. Which is what you get from a lot of these RPG con people old and new. I once had a notion that the RPG biz was one big thing because of DUNGEON HOBBY SHOP catalogs in the early 80’s but I slowly discovered that its not all on the historical miniatures into fantasy view that I come from. Thats fine but I’m nothing else besides that.

        Historical miniatures into fantasy.

        So lets raise a manboob in toast to… OH, WHAT A GIVE AWAY!

      • Francie permalink
        February 14, 2013 1:33 am

        Manboob, sorry to hear about your hygiene related health scare. That kind of thing can impel even the most stable mind to madness.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 14, 2013 7:24 am

        Look Francie, you seem like a nice guy with all your medical and psychological know whats. Give your busy body handy pants self a sugar frosted fuck off and get on with either bashing Gene or RKuntz.. ‘k?

      • February 14, 2013 8:23 am

        iiii Fanfare rondeau plays in the background. iiii


        ” As the patron god of humanoid mercenaries falls over in defeat with his throne room filled with the fallen forms of six humanoid century divisions. You behold that on this version of reality the coffered ceiling is encrusted with 100 Gems of Healthy Plenum and Weig’s Lucid Sphere of Ready Cash…”

        iiiii CRASH iiiiii


        Kask lickin old school scum!!!!! This is how you swing a flail!

        iiiiBASH, Looks around as Gene’s limp form bleeds out to the surprise of the game participants.iiiii


        Er…. sorry?

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 14, 2013 10:55 am

        Hey, Gene if this keeps up you owe me a brofist for giving your crusty dickcheese YouTube video a little bump. Who knows maybe you’ll get enough views from it to be the next Gungam style. You’ll need some music to go along with it. Maybe you can ask Wheggi over at K&KA forums for some prog rock.
        Or maybe you’ll get enough hits to get a buck or two that you can spend at Subway. Either way you’re welcome!

      • February 14, 2013 6:34 pm

        I’m no stranger to the YouTube mania over videos. My second video spread so rapidly I had to delete the recorded game sessions. All the music was up for copyright violations and the fan mail was so enormous I don’t think I’ve sorted through it yet. The biggest success was for the bogus after credits on PART DEUX because it was singing PANCHO & LEFTY to the then recently departed Gary as fake credits rolled. Yes…. It was just that bad… I mean good. So in the manner of Jeff Bridges in THE VANISHING I did an equally potent opposite act to balance that out… recording the Gygax Games unboxing…

        WHAT!? I can’t wink here?

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 15, 2013 12:56 pm

        Mighty Gene Weigel worried about music copyright violation? On YouTube?! Fer Christ’s sake kid! Show some testicular fortitude and stand up to the man for…oh wait you never stand for anything when accountability comes before attitude.

  16. kent permalink
    February 13, 2013 4:14 pm


    ==== From the Gospel according to Matthew ====
    ==== Jesus encounters the first of two spiritually putrid lepers

    When Jesus came down from the mountainside a leper followed him pulling at his tunic,

    “Unhand me, excrescence” Jesus said “you disgust me. Who are you?”

    “I am the one who pretends to be Arneson’s Spectre. Nobody loves me.” the leper cried.

    “I can see why,” Jesus frowned. “Well, I will cure you if you promise to go about the place reciting my good deeds and so forth.”

    “Oh thank you Jesus”, exclaimed the leper Arneson’s Spectre who was unloved from birth.

    Jesus placed his hands on the object the leper Arneson’s Spectre referred to as his head.

    Jesus soon shuddered and stepped back two paces.

    “Unique and intriguing,” Jesus gasped. “No avail. You have leprosy of the mind. I cannot help you.”

    “Goodbye!” said Jesus “Good morning!” and he hurried away down the dusty road.

    A tiny yellow bird came near, shat in Arneson Spectre’s eye and seemed content with this.

  17. February 13, 2013 5:33 pm

    Sean Fannon on Facebook posted the following today:

    Friends and Colleagues of the RPG and Gaming Hobby and Industry –

    One of our own, James Mishler, is having a HELL of a time right now, and it is incumbent upon us all to do what we can to step up and help this stalwart member of our tribe in what ways we can. Just check out his latest post to see what I mean.

    In this, I ask that you all at least share the following link, which is for his page of products on DriveThruRPG. Buy stuff if you can, and get your friends to. He’s a great designer and writer, a decent human being, and a friend in need.

    We know what to do. Let’s do it.

    He follows this up with:

    Friends, we really need your thoughts and prayers right now. The last couple of weeks have been just this side of a slice of hell. The dead man and the flood were only a preview… and now things are getting worse. Our car needs a $500 repair job; we’ve lost our auto insurance because we couldn’t afford to keep up with the bill; the only job interview I’ve had in the last six months went nowhere; and now the landlord is hounding us to leave because we are not on the lease. We’ve got nowhere to go (and with the car kaput, no way to get there, anyway). Frankly, I’m at my wit’s end and Jodi… well, she’s in a bad state. We’ve sold just about anything that anyone wants to buy, and the few things we have left, well, we’ve got one storage payment left in us and then we won’t have any “things” left to worry about. We are destitute and desperate at a level I’ve never even comprehended before. Thus any thoughts, prayers, job tips, anything… anything you could do to help would be most appreciated.

    • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
      February 14, 2013 2:56 pm

      Is Mishler’s shit any good? Cause I’ll buy one of those two dollar modules so he and the proud missus’ can share a McDouble and a value menu diet coke. But wait, they probably won’t have money for the tax on that. Fuck it.

      Maybe Satine Penix can appeal to her comic shop game following and set-up a charity gang bang record. But none of this “the same 50 guys multiple times” shit. She needs to go to Garycon or wherever and get several hundred smelly beard-o’s to eagerly step up. Does Garycon even get several hundred people to attend? Maybe I haven’t thought this through enough. Anyway, no cum dodging allowed, Satine. You gots to gobble it gleefully with that huge maw of yours, with maybe a little gargling, like in them thar dirty movies you done.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 14, 2013 6:16 pm

      Tell Mishler to give me a call (collect) when he’s living homeless on the street in a few weeks. My buddy and I are getting the Bum Fights videos franchise going again and I’ll have plenty of work for him then. We pay extra for toothless bums. We’re also doing a new Poop Dollar video series and I’m going to need some homeless bums to shit on some dollar bills for me if he’s interested. Wiping his ass with dollar bills for money shouldn’t be too much of a stretch for a failed blOwSR publisher I’m guessing. As long as he can yell “POOP DOLLAR!” at the tranny hookers and African American homosexuals that will gladly pick them up.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        February 14, 2013 6:39 pm

        This could be an opportunity for ol’ Jamal to get back a little positive karma and good will with the game community by peeling off a few hundy from his Kickstarter loot and “giving back to the OSR” by helping Mish at least get his car running so he and the woif will have something to live in down by the river or railway yard. But then again, it looks like he already spent a good chunk of it getting back the good will of his spoiled brats after them mostly growing up with a broke-ass dad who thought “work” was a four letter word.

        Really, after these would be but failed OSR profiteers like Mish and Blooeymage saw how much scratch Jimmy Geekface bilked out of the OSR with his bland offerings, showering his children with Christmas Gold, it’s a mother fucking wonder they haven’t closed the garage door and taken a nap in the car with the engine running.

  18. deathsdj permalink
    February 13, 2013 7:32 pm

    I’m kinda new around here but I’m really enjoying all the hate. I like to hate too. Bloodymage is the worst mod at Dragonshole as well as a dickhead so he deserves everything he gets. This place would be a lot cooler if you hated on Black Blade more too… Those guys suck it hard.

  19. Kilgore Trout permalink
    February 13, 2013 9:02 pm

    What is it with these hobby blogger/publishers begging for stuff? Why do they keep expecting others to pick up the tab so they can ‘live the dream’? Sure I’d live to sit on my arse and spend a couple if hours a day crapping out some D&D stuff but since I’ve chosen to inhabit the real world with a wife and kids and stuff I couldn’t possibly be so self indulgent.

    Great link to the necromancer forums. I know believe that Kuntz is a far greater arsehole than Jim the Scam.

  20. kent permalink
    February 14, 2013 1:34 am

    Does anyone know if it is true that the Knights & Knaves Alehouse is now selling tumbleweed to pay hosting costs?

  21. Zarathustra permalink
    February 14, 2013 4:17 am

    I used to be ambivalent about Gene Wiegel, rants are usually only interesting if they make a coherent point somewhere after all. But now I see the fuckin’ antique shit up with a flail side, I’m impressed.

  22. Timothy permalink
    February 14, 2013 6:21 am

    kent got Cuntz to show up whining on that ODD forum thread – great job!

    Have a +1 kent! And an exalt!

  23. Timothy permalink
    February 14, 2013 6:24 am

    So Frog God’s burger boy and that Grognard Games bloke might be teaming up with Kuntz to publish his six-year-in-the-making book of rantings…hmmm…

  24. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    February 14, 2013 7:27 am

    I heard the working title was Bastardry John Galt in the Maze of Zayne.

  25. Scott permalink
    February 14, 2013 7:31 am

    in for notifications

  26. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    February 14, 2013 6:28 pm

    Check out this awesome thread over at Big Purple Dildo:

    Everybody’s favorite Rape Lover (other than JRT) James “Grimm Jim” Desborough is getting lambasted again by the circus freaks that make up that Ultra Liberal North Korean Utopia that is RPGNet. The only thing funnier than seeing that piece of shit rapist Desborough get libelously shit upon are the comments by the pieces of shit that hate him, especially that tranny sideshow freak Zeea. To add to the hilarity, Garth Michael Skanka makes an appearance and eventually permabans out defending Grim Jim McRapeypants, all while his Adam Ant Entertainment pre-orders and Kickstarters continue to go unfulfilled yet another week. Definitely my gamer outrage thread pick of the week.

    • February 15, 2013 2:48 am

      You know this is going to be a quality thread when right at the start you read:

      “I’m conflicted. I like angus Abranson. He’s good people. But I don’t think James Desborough is good people, and I can’t in good faith support a company that hires him.”

      If this person has such principles, they probably read no books, view no TV shows, go to any movies, play any video games, or, in short, consume anything. There is always going to be someone you don’t like, and to cut your nose off to spite your face is silly as hell.

      You also have to love gamers. They love to act like Internet tough guys, as well as love to share their learned opinions.

      It was also nice to see the brief appearance of the Charybdis of the Game Industry, GMS, be given his boot in the ass.

      • GenghisDon permalink
        February 15, 2013 7:12 am

        You are going to be shocked to learn that political correctness has triumphed in every arena of intellectual freedom , Guy Who Runs With Scissors.

        What’s really disturbing is that in the real world, outside of politics & entertainment (where expression of ideas is supposed to matter), topics like rape are ignored.

        For example; in the USA, there is no rape (legally), unless it’s involving a vagina. This is in more than 40 of the states. Thus, a man CANNOT be raped, among other injustices. A cop in new york just got (a hefty) sentence for sexual assault; for forcing a female teacher to give him oral sex at gun point & then sodomizing her, but couldn’t be guilty of rape.

        In small towns across that country, even “true” rapes are swept under the rug, as long as they are done by those that a community has invested their (false) pride in, such as athletes.

        You know a society is really sick when all it’s ire is focused on imaginary or intellectual affronts, rather than doing something about the reality.

        Hmmm, there might be a lesson somewhere in that for YDIS…naw, couldn’t be. Venting spleen over a few G wasted on some obscure hobby scam surely is more important than billions & trillions stolen by banksters, etc.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 15, 2013 7:19 am

        My favorite part are the gamer “chicks” that get raped at least five times at every gaming convention they attend, yet somehow police reports are never filed. They remind me of those chicks you would hook up with at drunken frat parties in college for a one night stand and when you didn’t call them back the next day, they would go to the dean screaming RAPE! Then when a real rapist like JRT comes along, that scumbag gets away with it because of all the crying wolf.

        Don’t get me started on the online freaks who think avatar rape is equivalent to real rape. BTW, my avatar is raping Bloodymage’s avatar as I type this.

      • Scott permalink
        February 15, 2013 7:25 am

        Many of those jurisdictions have codified rape as “sexual assault” for that reason – the term “rape” has common law or former statutory connotations that are both limiting and imprecise. In this jurisdiction as well as many others, there is no statutory “rape” offense, only degrees of sexual assault (and abuse, which is differentiated from assault here and elsewhere). In this jurisdiction, there’s no *rape* statute for any victim, regardless of gender – it’s all either sexual assault or sexual abuse, with relatively precise definitions of each element, because no one wants jurors to enter verdicts based on their own prejudices about what is or isn’t rape.

        I’m not saying the law is progressive or just (I’m also not not saying it, I have to deal with the law that’s there, not the law I want). But in many jurisdictions, “sexual assault” has taken the place of “rape” to shield against antiquated definitions, not to perpetuate them.

      • February 15, 2013 7:51 am

        Huge Ruined NobodyCares, can you shut the fuck up with your bullshit? I’m trying to listen to GenghisDon make his very rational point about how I should be more like Matt Taibbi.

      • Scott permalink
        February 15, 2013 7:26 am

        I almost forgot: ass fuck titties

      • Timothy permalink
        February 15, 2013 7:38 am

        Thank goodness for that last part, Scottt! You had me thinking you were knowledgeable for a few seconds!

        As the resident white knight, I’ll just say that those who whine about political correctness destroying our manly society and intellectual freedoms or whatthegodamnfuckever are those that just wanna spew their racist, mysoginistic, nazi crap and hate being called on it.

        It was great reading about Skarka getting the shoeleather. maybe he can get back to Far West…what are the odds?

      • Scott permalink
        February 15, 2013 7:54 am

        My bad, carry on. SHIT BUBBLES

      • Timothy permalink
        February 15, 2013 10:25 am

        If you had said “Sustare’s Shit Bubbles” we would be totally back on topic.

  27. Aos permalink
    February 15, 2013 8:34 am

    So gengis, what I’m getting is that you’d prefer rape to sodomy? Gene, can you help this guy out?

    • February 15, 2013 11:07 am

      I’m not going to claim to know the laws in Britain regarding rape and sodomy but I do think this is one of those British versus America sci/fantasy things and its hard to sort through sometimes.

      I see a lot of Brits conditioned to a certain type of low brow humor disguised as something clever because its conveyed with a superficial educated tone. There are many of these dumb but seeming clever types over here in a America but since the UK is so small in comparison I believe they’ve aggressively taken over a lot of their media whereas the USA gets its long distance coast to coast continuity from sports which sounds cruder in superficiality when creators aim for popular success. The UK is the same voice as America but it has:

      A) Lack of diverse backgrounds
      B) Solid traditions which makes it more flexible

      So when a writer/designer/creator makes a UK hit over there it sometimes comes across the pond as a fucking nightmare here in the states. For example, look up the comic book industry in the 80’s and you’ll see there was demand for crudity from Britain amongst publishers. I heard a rumor by the 90’s internally DC comics would only hire new writers from Britain.

      Now that said, I have not read “Desborough” so I’m not attacking or defending him.

      • WTF? permalink
        February 15, 2013 12:35 pm

        Here’s the deal, living on an island full of fuckwits (whether it be Britain, Ireland or Long Island) doesn’t entitle you to a different standard of behavior. Blithering Gygax cockgobblers, drunk, arrogant queens and over-the-hill, talentless, rape-fetishists don’t become more socially acceptable just because we know they are an inevitable product of their environments.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 15, 2013 1:08 pm

        Ah, Gene you nutty defender of douchebag free speakers You’ll White Knight anyone being attacked because they can’t keep their smegma encrusted fantasy wang in their pants. Read what Desborough has done and then come join the conversation.

      • Timothy permalink
        February 15, 2013 1:12 pm

        Hah, Mr. Manboobs, you are hitting Gene below the belt. He hasn’t read anything since T1.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 15, 2013 1:47 pm

        I keep forgetting that. Thanks man.

    • GenghisDon permalink
      February 16, 2013 10:00 am

      The idea I’m immune to rape is the amusing bit.

      I’m (gasp) with Gene it seems; one should be able to express their opinions or ideas (& possibly get mocked, ridiculed or scorned for them) & still be able to perform in other areas of society.

      I know nothing of this “Desborough”, but I’m assuming he’s not an actual/convicted rapist (sorry, “sexual assaulter”). Rape is often handled poorly & over frequently by hack writers, but if the nerd rage is over mere fiction, it’s awful to start trying to blacklist.

      Sorry, YDIS, I shouldn’t be expecting you to be Matt Taibbi. Still, the fictional rape getting treated more seriously/paid more attention to than rapes in reality irks me. Rape (sorry, Sexual Assault) is sky high these days in the US military (& covered/hushed up), Huzza that women can now serve in the front lines though! More men are raped, I mean, sexually assaulted, than women in the USA now each year; a result of a private for profit prison-industrial complex in the US. Gotta be tough on non-volent crime though!

      Shit! Piss! Fuck! (no, that’s german porn)

      By the power of Sustarre’s Shit Storm! ( thanks Timothy, but watch the spelling, a grog might blacklist you for missing the second r)

  28. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    February 15, 2013 11:48 am

    Friday Forum Fun:

    Could somebody please tell me what the fuck is going on with this dude who made the thread? He’s a douche bag regular at DF, is fat, middle aged, and has rape-eyes, but he somehow got several decent chicks over to his place for some highly organized and tidy gaming. He even seems to be able to get them to eat his rat-shaped goodies that look like bowl movements. Did he kidnap their families and is holding them hostage till they play some D&D with him? Does he have naked photos taken through their bedroom windows that he threatened to post online? Lots of us have had females at our games, but that this particular creepy looking OSRtard got these girls to his house is highly suspect.

    For extra fun, read on a bit and see T. Foster joke about the wily ol’ Thorkhammer jizzing all over his keyboard after seeing the thread, and Thorky chiming in to confirm that he is indeed cumming all over his keyboard, and may be up for stalking the perky young ‘un.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 15, 2013 1:00 pm

      Good ol’ rat on a stick is a crowdpleaser everytime!

    • Timothy permalink
      February 15, 2013 1:10 pm

      The total shocker for me is at the end of that thread, when sir allen says they never came back.

      My God, non-chubby halter-topped women NOT returning to roll dice with the Lollapaloser duo of Fat and Fatter?

      Just like Liberace being gay – never saw that coming.

      • Aos permalink
        February 15, 2013 1:49 pm

        Those women probably saw the thread and filed a restraining order against the entire population of DF. It creeped me out, I can only imagine how they might have felt. Also, why do so many gamers have thier (beastly) wives in their fucking avatars?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 15, 2013 6:39 pm

        Speaking of beastly gamer wives, here’s some SERIOUS TITTY FUCKING:

    • February 15, 2013 1:20 pm

      Honestly? He might be a nice guy. Funny. Sensitive. Charitable. Outgoing. Brave.

      Hung like a donkey…

      Heh, lots of people play games in all different situations.

      As brutally honest as I can be, I think more non-game types relate to original D&D or AD&D than obscure rpgs because it had so much media attention.

      I think there is a lot of grown women who were raised on derivative games that wear the label “geek” comfortably which I’m not too comfortable playing a game with.

      The girls who played D&D in the 80’s were not the ones that I got “off the street” from bulletin boards in the 00’s for sure.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 15, 2013 1:52 pm

        HAHA! Gene, no one (girls or guys) is comfortable with gaming with you after those flail videos.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        February 15, 2013 6:01 pm

        Honestly? He might be a nice guy. Funny. Sensitive. Charitable. Outgoing. Brave.
        Hung like a donkey…
        Heh, lots of people play games in all different situations…”

        It’s obvious that the guy had some angle to get the gals there that has nothing to do with your suggestions, but hey believe whatever you have to in order to make it through another one of your dismal days, dipshit. Just the way you express yourself in writing makes me think you are living in a blurry haze.

        Until somebody can provide a real explanation as to what Sir Allan was up to (and he started that thread in a way that made it seem the readers should already be aware of it), I’m going with the theory that he posted a notice at a local community college offering pay to gals who would come play D&D for a couple hours. Maybe he was hoping to start some I Hit it With my Axe type show of his own or some shit (with better looking chicks). That not a single one returned to play with him is a pretty strong indication that they weren’t there because they wanted to play D&D with creeps. Something was in it for them besides beers and rat on a stick.

    • Scott permalink
      February 15, 2013 2:03 pm

      That thread is the essence of Dragonsfoot. “Likely I would have passed out from intoxication of inhaling all the lovely estrogen within that room all day.” hahahahaha wutttt

    • February 15, 2013 6:11 pm

      Oh my stars & bars those curtains are DREADFUL!

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        February 15, 2013 6:42 pm

        The horizontal stripes make him look even more fat.

    • kent permalink
      February 15, 2013 6:24 pm

      Ive had some banter with SirAllen at Dragonsfoot over the years. He’s a good lad with a great sense of humour.

      Anyone who thinks otherwise is a stupid cunt.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 15, 2013 6:31 pm

      That’s like every creepy gamer guy stereotype in one thread. I bet he sniffed the dining room seats and jacked off all night long after they left too. Did he call up an escort service and rent them out for the night to game or something? Was it just a Show and Tell for the unblown social retards over at Dragonsfart to spaz out over? And who’s the creepy lesbo gamer “one of these things is not like the other” chick? There’s a sorted tale to be told there as well I’m sure.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 15, 2013 6:45 pm

      And I love how the thread goes from creepy gamer lecher talk to talk to playing D&D with children next. I predict some Dragonsfooter setting off an Amber Alert in the very near future.

      • February 15, 2013 7:40 pm

        “Captain Kirks Dick Blood Aneurysmed In Brain” said SNIP dismal days, dipshit. Just the way you express yourself in writing makes me think you are living in a blurry haze. SNIP


      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 16, 2013 11:03 am

        You would be the one in a that haze dizzleshit Gene.

    • Ritter permalink
      February 15, 2013 7:07 pm

      Hahahahaha! The picture he chose for his little D&D booklet at the beginning of the thread just about says it all.

    • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
      February 16, 2013 7:47 am

      That is seriously one of the most pathetic thread I have ever read on any RPG site.

      “Look guys! Real women!!”

    • GenghisDon permalink
      February 16, 2013 10:13 am

      I’m pretty sure “Sir Allen” games with women pretty frequently. Shocking, I know, but not ever gamer is a social retard, has Asperger’s, etc

      There IS a higher than normal % of them among gamers though, so the comments that follow are no real surprise.

      • Scott permalink
        February 16, 2013 10:32 am

        Yeah, from reading that thread, SirAllen seems like a reasonably solid dude, and the bicycle seat sniffers show up afterwards.

  29. Aos permalink
    February 15, 2013 7:09 pm

    Sir Allen does mention that one was his wife and another his sister in law, and he didn’t really seem that kreepy to me. Some if thse othe guys, though, wtf?

  30. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    February 15, 2013 8:25 pm

    The media attention of D&D and AD&D, Gene? You do realize the 700 Club ran it’s D&D Pat Pulling special like 30 fucking years ago right? Oh yeah, I forgot that every other RPG EVAR written was just a crab on Gygax’s nutsack. Fuck, White Wolf got plenty more exposure during the 90’s and onwards than D&D did during that same time but you were probably too busy trying to find the missing room in the Forgotten Temple of Tharizdun to notice. I realize the idea that there was progress and popularity beyond the shadow of Gygax is alien to you, Gene, but there have been advancements and, believe it or not, a few authors out there made a couple sheckles off their products even. That said… CYBORG COMMANDO!!! CYBORG COMMANDO!!! CYBORG FUCKING COMMANDO!!! I suppose Gene blames Mentzer and Mohan for that one and that Gygax’s crude outline was godlike mana from the heavens….

    • February 16, 2013 5:55 am

      White Wolf? I don’t understand that at all. That was nobody’s household name as far as I know. “Okay kids, its vampire night!!!” It didn’t happen.

      As to the CYBORG game thats not representative of a designer who is legally unfettered. (See GDW lawsuit.)

      • February 16, 2013 7:13 am

        No Cyborg Commando is representative of a hack. It also is a reminder that cocaine is a hell of a drug

      • February 16, 2013 9:46 am

        Yeah, I believe that story’s source about as much my own ventures in 2006 needed “capital” from my relatives behind my back from the same source.

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 16, 2013 11:04 am

        Because Gene, you were all that ever mattered in gaming.
        What a self sucking fuckwit you are Gene.

      • February 16, 2013 5:12 pm

        Just keep replying to yourself over and over.

      • February 16, 2013 7:34 pm

        Aww, I’m sorry am I hurting your feelings Gene? Because you are a chubby fuck faced fuck who rode the short bus doesn’t mean that I can’t make fun of you.

  31. yoyoco permalink
    February 15, 2013 9:56 pm


    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      February 16, 2013 6:27 am

      I do not support the Prison Rape Elimination Act of 2003 because prison rape is part of the punishment and serves as an effective deterrent to crime. It’s not 100%, though, as the likes of Kent and Eugene Weigel would probably get off on getting raped in prison.

      • February 16, 2013 6:45 am

        Well I never even heard of your regrets about prison but I’m glad your recovering your sphyncter…

      • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
        February 16, 2013 11:05 am

        Don’t worry Gene. We’ll get you a nice cell with JRT and you both can have reach around night.

  32. February 16, 2013 6:28 am

    This just about sums it up for Hobby Publishers. From Brave Halfling:

    “So, my Apple charger caught on fire today

    I LOVE my Apple notebook. It runs great, is super reliable and light. But the charger sparked flames all over the place and nearly caught our carpet on fire today.

    VERY frustrating.”

    What is even better he has a photo to prove it caught fire. I think he was afraid someone would call bullshit.

  33. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    February 16, 2013 5:59 pm

    Yeah, Geno, keep telling yourself White Wolf never amounted to anything in the roleplaying universe.Then you can gently rock yourself to sleep that even Palladium has carved itself out a nice niche in the hobby. Given, White Wolf was more of a household name and was getting played a lot more during the 90’s while you were fondling your copies of Gord the Rogue in your wee stained undergarments and people were clucking their collective tongues at the sad old git. “Hey, Geno, want to try Ars Magica?” Of course not, it was just a paler rip off of Gygax’s collective genius! CYBORG FUCKING COMMANDOS DEPLOY!!!!

  34. February 17, 2013 10:08 am

    My POV must be like Zardoz to this person! One day they are going to realize that rpgs jumped the shark with “its Satan’s game” unfortunately it won’t be around someone saying White Wolf, Palladium and /or GURPS, etc.,etc., etc. are unplayable. That would be devastating to their out of pocket expense of years into low yield product. In Gene Weigel’s book its never too late to “tune in, turn on and drop out” (drugs optional). GO AHEAD! Flip out on Sandy Peterson and say CoC is all a pile of non-genre garbage. Do it. Thats what I say. Just read a Lovecraft story and look at the baseline of the RPG. Its like night and day. Same for Palladium. Who does that serve? You? Or some weird geek named Siembieda’s ego of getting over on suckers buying cut and paste statted bland gazetteers? I’m not anyone’s enemy except these fucking leeches selling this “just as good” crap. Never mind CYBORG COMMANDO. Do you think I played that crap? I bought it in a comic book shop on the outskirts of Tampa, Florida when I was on a unique road of being in a luxurious situation but trying to get the hell back to my old friends in NYC and away from insincere and superficial people. I read it in depth in this “golden prison” ( no I didn’t get ass raped but I’m sure you’d like that) but when I finally got what I wanted I left old “CC” that day. It wasn’t that interesting. The only thing that I was thinking was all the sci-fi rpg products attempts priorly. Campaigns that burned… RINGWORLD… STARFLEET… STAR FRONTIERS… SPACE LAW… TRAVELLER… only GW in its lack of skill checks was playable beyond the first few tries. Maybe I could adapt “COMMANDO” for GW unfortunately the new GW came out around that time and I wasn’t impressed by its mirroring of the “big characters/bad play” that the trends were doing elsewhere. Gygax is an excuse for you and its a language that I can talk to you that you can understand. It has nothing to do with gameplay. Its all those who disagreed with keeping it simple that are the bad guys. Gygax means nothing. Peterson! Siembieda! Cook! These are like RPG curses.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 17, 2013 1:07 pm

      Yes Gene you are wrong as usual. A lot of people play games that you find shitastic. This has been a long weekend for you hasn’t it? Your meds should arrive Tuesday.

      • February 17, 2013 1:29 pm

        So in your language on Bizarro world, “fresh air” means “more poison”? Check. We’ll get “my meds” meaning “your meds” soon. I mean “never”! Continue to “enjoy” your “great” rpgs, “friend”!

  35. Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
    February 17, 2013 3:06 pm

    I never said fresh air you assmunching retard. When was that spoke of? Seriously, FUCK!

    Gene, really you need to see a doctor you are so delusional I think you are about to stroke out. I figure you are on medicare because no one would ever employ a mouthbreathing shitstain like you so you have to be unemployed and on some state or federal aid program.
    Games that you don’t like are played by people you probably don’t like either. Because you don’t like them does not mean they are badwrongfun or didn’t find a following. As a matter of fact you not liking them only makes them better. Your hippy dippy ‘tune in tune out’ bullshit does not make AD&D a good game simply because you say it is so. But, since you can’t read or understand anything but Gygaxian prose in your unmedicated state, I’ll throw you a little boner here.
    I like AD&D (first edition) and just hate you.
    Gene you shit eating fuckwipe please go find a first edition DMG to lick maybe the ink will restore you to some sanity. Take some time to read and understand that you are the one in bizarro land fuckface.

    • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
      February 17, 2013 7:45 pm

      Gene’s had his head buried in the sand so long his brain is just completely starved for oxygen. You know, keeping it on topic with fresh air.

      • February 18, 2013 5:46 am

        I like AD&D (first edition) TRANSLATION: My perthfernder and/or “dark birthscape realms” has no legs to stand on.

    • Chatdemon's Manboobs permalink
      February 18, 2013 9:14 am

      Translation Gene: You are a retarded fuckfaced fuck of a fool who tacks on things that have no relevance son. You see Pathfinder/Birthright as some sort of cut down? You really need to step it up shit stain.

  36. blahblahblah permalink
    April 3, 2013 9:06 pm

    This place reeks of jealousy. Perhaps one day the internet will disappear, offering a catalyst for such useless commentary to return to its proper place beneath the rocks of irrelevancy. One can only hope…

    • April 3, 2013 11:08 pm

      Ah, sorry. That reek is actually Del Taco farts. And a little bit of jealousy, but mostly farts.

      • NUNYA permalink
        August 30, 2013 11:25 am



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