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Holy shit, where the fuck do I start!

December 8, 2012

Check out this homeboy!

Shit is real and I have no idea where to start:

  1. GOPagan is a real thing!
  2. Witches are being persecuted!
  3. Ya boy put the darkies and homos on blast by dropping “nigger” and “faggot” in there, but wasn’t comfortable enough to throw “kike” or “hymie” into the mix.
  4. Mu’fucka straight REGULATIN’ the comments, you bitches best not step outta line or he’s NOT YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE!!!

I have a feeling this post is gonna get Poag’d real quick-like, I hope one of you can be ready with the Google archive thing that preserves these hilarious stinkbombs forever and ever? Damn that’s some hot shit on a Saturday night!

 

64 Comments leave one →
  1. Oface permalink
    December 8, 2012 9:54 pm

    I guess after all the gay Republicans I shouldn’t be surprised, but how does one reconcile “paganism” with the theocratic intentions of the Republican party? Of course all those other minorities who are still being killed are being politically correct, but when his sham religion is (not) criticized in a game, it’s his first amendment right.
    Also, given that very few people are born “Pagans” the idea that one could discover, and then believe an obviously made up, asinine, self congratulatory religion is really disconcerting.
    Greyhawk Grognard is the one who posted the clip where Palpatine becomes the emperor when Obamacare got passed right?

  2. kent permalink
    December 8, 2012 10:46 pm

    Well you can start with this,

    >> The fact that most of those murdered were killed not because they actually were witches, but because they were merely accused of being so, does not lessen the horror of their deaths <<

    In his mind it requires thought to remind himself that the lynching of a complete innocent is not less horrible than the lynching of a bona fide witch.

  3. JMalepooski permalink
    December 9, 2012 3:53 am

    Wait, does this mean there is no Witchfinder General class in his Adventures Dark and Deep? I don’t even want my free copy now. What a waste.

  4. Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    December 9, 2012 4:23 am

    That’s why I always played Warhammer Fantasy so I could be a Witch Hunter and lynch some fucking people for heresy. We should start burning more witches and save on the cost of heating oil.

  5. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    December 9, 2012 7:22 am

    This OSR Freak Show keeps getting better and better. What a dumb fuck. Yes GOPagans, the GOP is such a big, welcoming tent of diversity. Just ask the Log Cabin Republicans. And just because you are an angry middle age white man doesn’t mean you belong. GOP: Fags and non-Protestant Christians need not apply.

  6. The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
    December 9, 2012 8:04 am

    Sometimes, the level of stupidity that manifests in those within the OSR bubble astounds me.

  7. December 9, 2012 9:00 am

    I guess he won’t be lining up opening day to see this?

  8. December 9, 2012 9:11 am

    “You’re making a game out of slaughtering people who are like me”

    It’s perfectly acceptable to make a game “out of slaughtering people,” but not when he identifies with said people. Indeed, how are non-pagan colonists who died over three centuries ago anything like him? Because they were called witches and he wants to be called a witch? WTF?

    Where was this guy when someone actually made a railroad – holocaust game? (Of course, in my opinion, that game was more ‘performance art’ than game.)

  9. Uncle carbuncles carbuncle permalink
    December 9, 2012 9:20 am

    As a real life necromancer, I take offense of all the times in RPG’s that my fellow practitioners of the forbidden arts are hunted down and persecuted.

    My friends who like to wear dark eyeshadow and occasionally damage local property (self identified goths and vandals) feel that the wests education of Ancient Rome in 7th grade belies a careless sensitivity to this still persecuted minority.

    Whenever I see a kid dressed up as Julius ceasar for holloween I make a point of his parents that their son is dressed as a murderer of a still living and vibrant culture.

    Just like the Jews, just like the Jews.

    • Uncle carbuncles carbuncle permalink
      December 9, 2012 11:28 am

      GOPagan; where oppressed minorities go to oppress minorities.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        December 10, 2012 5:22 pm

        And don’t even think about joining that socialist Witches Union!!!!

  10. December 9, 2012 10:54 am

    Aaaaaah I KNEW Greyhark Gonads was secretly the GOPagan but was saving it.

    The “kids dressed up like Julius Caesar” thing is hilarious because HE STARTED THAT ONE TOO!

    http://www.novaroma.org/nr/Incorporation

  11. December 9, 2012 1:58 pm

    You want to fuck with me!? I am from Jersey you fuckwads! I am only pissed about this shit because they got funded but I have to dish out the hand jobs just to get my new fantasy role playing game into action. It is called Greatly Underwhelming Role Playing Shit (hmmm, GURPS, happy accident) and is explores what a game would have been like if Steve Jackson was assassinated by gay Nazi hookers bent on world domination. The reason I am able to do this is that I constantly go through his trash looking for clues on how his game would have been like.

  12. Radovarl permalink
    December 9, 2012 2:12 pm

    Well, at least now we all understand why Bloch is dressed up like an Anton LaVey wannabe for his blog photo. He’s an Anton LaVey wannabe.

    • Scott permalink
      December 9, 2012 8:43 pm

      LaVey had a sense of humor, though, and understood that it was all horseshit.

      • Mister chambers permalink
        December 11, 2012 10:38 am

        So being a fucking lying snake oil salesman is somehow superior to being delusional?

  13. December 9, 2012 2:47 pm

    Words fail me.

  14. JMalepooski permalink
    December 9, 2012 4:43 pm

    In all seriousness, his vagina might be sore from scratching it on the carpet. It’s no laughing matter, trust me.

  15. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    December 9, 2012 6:14 pm

    Apparently Gayhawk Gonad’s Witchy Poo buddies in Africa are hunting down albinos for their body parts to use in their spells and rituals:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persecution_of_people_with_albinism

    Now that’s a boardgame I’d fund on Kickstarter.

  16. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    December 9, 2012 7:41 pm

    Before he became this New Age neocon, neopagan druid warlock known as GOPagan, he used to have links to the Atheist Club on his blog. I’ve totally figured this simpleton out. He probably hates his Christian upbringing because his parents made him go to church on Sunday mornings instead of letting him stay home to read Dragon Magazine and masturbate to pictures of Scott Baio and Leif Garrett in Teen Beat. THIS WILL SHOW YOU MOM AND DAD! I AM A DRUID PRIESTESS NOW!!!

  17. kent permalink
    December 11, 2012 8:32 am

    This guy J. Bloch in his kickstarter raz-a-ma-thing comes across close to how I picture all of you guys, that is, a touch effeminate compensated for with a touch too much boot polish beard and ‘tache.

    • Timothy permalink
      December 11, 2012 9:38 am

      There is enough boot polish left in the world after you do your daily mirror-coating with it, kentie.

      Besides, I prefer magic marker for my facial hair – less mess when it rains.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      December 11, 2012 8:26 pm

      I think I like Some Queen Kent’s Talking Poop Chute persona better…

      • December 13, 2012 4:32 am

        Methinks “Queen Kent’s Talking Poop Chute” would make a great OSR adventure module. Beware the chocolate slide on level 5.

  18. Timothy permalink
    December 11, 2012 9:45 am

    GOPagan – that is awesome. I wonder what is going to happen if Joey B. ever gets over his own pussy bigotry and checks out what the GOP social policies actually are toward anti-christians like him.

    And comparing Salem witch trials to the Holocaust, and that he is personally affected by it. Please.

    Mighty Odin, you gave him eyes but he cannot see.

  19. Timothy permalink
    December 11, 2012 9:49 am

    Hey, what happenned to I Run With Scissors? Dwimmerdust hasn’t been updated since mid-October. JimmieMal might actually beat him…

  20. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 11, 2012 12:16 pm

    Maybe Jamal and his cronies paid IRWS off? Free google + membership into their little circle jerk?

  21. JMalepooski permalink
    December 11, 2012 5:10 pm

    I bet these guys are fucking pissed and disgusted about kids dressing up as Vader for Halloween and playing video games where they kill good Jedi.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/9737886/Jedi-religion-most-popular-alternative-faith.html

    • December 12, 2012 6:29 am

      WTF? There’s a ‘Heavy Metal’ religion? Has Raggi been ordained?

  22. The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
    December 13, 2012 9:00 am

    Remember that World of Darkness rip-off that was posted about in the last thread?

    The reviews are in.

    http://www.rpg.net/reviews/archive/15/15765.phtml

  23. Timothy permalink
    December 13, 2012 12:14 pm

    RED A-FUCKING-LERT

    Bobby Cuntz has a new blog. One where he desperately hangs onto the frayed coattails of the departed while declaring that he has all this imagination and creativuty stuff still bubbling in his own inflated head:

    http://lakegenevaoriginalrpg.blogspot.com/

    Poor, poor, tortured genius…

    • ratsliveonnoevilstar permalink
      December 13, 2012 1:43 pm

      Just can’t keep a good (or deluded) man down. Well, I get it takes a village to raise an idiot, and we’ve got some village.

      As is his wont, the 20% of his blog entries which aren’t straight quotes from other and better writers are comprised of the unreadably overwrought, turgid ramblings we’ve come to love and deride.

  24. UNCLECARBUNCLE permalink
    December 14, 2012 6:25 pm

    THIS BLOG SMELIKE DIM KASOKIDS OL BONG WATER AN MY FARTS. TALK SOM DD ASSLIKKERS

  25. UNCLECARBUNCLE permalink
    December 14, 2012 6:41 pm

    TWK MAN JA HOVERS IN FRONT OF CANDI AS HE DRINKS TH THIMBELS OF WHISKY DOOK DOOK. THER AINT SHIT IN THIS PLACE ON TH FIRST 5 FLOORS WAST OTIME. THERES A ELVATOR DOWN TH HALL THATLL TAKE YOU DOWNS FAR AS LEVEL TEN. OK JA BUTS YOU BESTEST NOT BE LYIN TO MEES OR I COMES BACK AN CLIPS YOU WINGS

  26. kent permalink
    December 16, 2012 1:25 pm

    Do any of you grotty nerds have a happy Christmas Message for me?

    I am doing the rounds collecting greetings and benisons from the great and the good and … eh, foul arsed muck tinkers. The turpitudinous peasant, in anticipation of riches, steers in his well-wishes towards lavish praise of nobility in birth and intellect. At Christmas time the stinking bottomed serf worships his superior with ululations and fervid gyrations but at this time and in this web-place words will have to do.

    • December 16, 2012 4:52 pm

      Cut the horseshit — what are your New Year’s resolutions?

      • kent permalink
        December 17, 2012 2:55 pm

        Staying offline as much as possible in the new year is a sort of general umbrella resolution which would cover many others.

    • Timothy permalink
      December 17, 2012 6:25 am

      Aw, what the hell. Merry Christmas, kent. May your whiskey heating element not burn down your hovel this year.

      • kent permalink
        December 17, 2012 2:52 pm

        People are kind to tramps when it snows.

  27. Kent's Rectum permalink
    December 17, 2012 12:32 pm

    Unfortunately, I get stuffed a lot more than Kent’s stocking does!

  28. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 17, 2012 6:42 pm

    Here’s your Christmas message, Kunt. With mental illness resulting in violent tragedies more and more across the world, sickness such as Aspergers and other funny and Sci-Fi psychobabble sounding brain problems are getting more focus, and soon better treatment. Even in your shithole country. So share this positive message of peace with your socially retarded playmates on the gaming forums: there is hope for you poor suffering dipshits. I guess.

  29. December 18, 2012 1:37 pm

    Hey net fags, you’re being sociologied again:

    Click: I think that at one time ydis served a purpose, but now it is just part of the suck.
    However, that and something said earlier about Kent, gets me thinking.
    Why do some gamers get so mad when other gamers make stuff and share it? why do they have proprietorial feelings regarding other people’s money and the way they spend it?

    Clack: My take on it is that what they actually hate is when people make things and give them away for free. Then they can’t put their far-less content laden package of whatnot on rpg.now and charge $3 for it.

    Or, they hate that it’s not OFFICIAL and therefore of no merit.

    Cluck: They are crazy outliers whose impact gets amplified on the internet.

    Click: I lean more towards the second than the first. Although there is a definitely some out there who get angry about people giving away stuff for free. Whatever, though, I just figure if it pisses Harlen Ellison off, it’s probably the right thing to do. 

    Clack: +Cluck ab-so-lutely!

    Click: +Cluck I’m not so sure. The attitude of sneering disdain I also encountered while working in SF&F bookstores usually in reference to aspiring fiction writers or cartoonists.

    • December 19, 2012 6:19 am

      I find it interesting that ‘Click’ acknowledges there is suck, but offers no means to address it.

      Also, how difficult is it to spell Harlan Ellison correctly? These dweebs undermine their credibility.

  30. December 19, 2012 8:14 am

    I am the suck acknowledging, misspelling dweeb in question. I’m not the least bit interested in fixing anything or having credibility.

    • December 19, 2012 8:55 am

      So, you say “at one time ydis served a purpose.” What has changed? Is the purpose no longer relevant or is YDIS failing to serve?

      • December 19, 2012 9:16 am

        It made people aware of certain ugly trends within the OSR, (e.g., the soft review circle jerk). However, I think those who can get the message have gotten it. Dead horse is dead.

      • December 19, 2012 9:52 am

        Are you saying that we should focus on lambasting Kent?

      • December 19, 2012 9:59 am

        Speaking of dead horses, can you move on from Year of the Phoenix?

      • December 19, 2012 9:57 am

        All the sex jokes I came up with to answer that question suck.

      • Timothy permalink
        December 19, 2012 10:43 am

        Actually, the fact that Jimmie Mal got 48 thousand bucks for his vaporware Dumbermount shows that people still do not get it. So YDIS must soldier on, even as you fail in basic cognizance.

        Good thing you are not looking for credibilty, Aos. You are posting in a troll thread.

      • December 19, 2012 10:49 am

        Oh I don’t deny that there are people who did not get the message, but i think those capable of getting it have. As for your last line, aren’t i always?

  31. December 19, 2012 8:54 am

    Its a shame life has proven to suck worse than anyone’s dungeon could.
    Nothing like an avoidable act of violence against the most innocent to go along with holiday cheer.

    A toast to the new year and what horrors that it may bring.

    • steve o permalink
      December 19, 2012 11:16 am

      Oh, yay. One of you dickwads has finally gotten around to invoking the school kids at Sandy Hook.
      Ooooh, deep, you self serving douche.

    • Kent's Rectum permalink
      December 20, 2012 6:10 am

      Thank you, Page12DMG, for recognizing that the constant acts of sodomy Kent subjects me to on a nightly basis are indeed an avoidable act of violence. I wish he’d take just one night off from the fag bar and give me a rest. Then the healing can begin.

  32. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 20, 2012 1:25 pm

    Still the same mind-numbing post at Grognardia from over a week ago. Are there big doings at his Google +? Anybody in touch with that shit? Can’t laugh at him if I can’t see the drek he is up too…

  33. JMalepooski permalink
    December 20, 2012 3:29 pm

    I am working on a new cluster of empty rooms, inspired by a turd pile I made last week.

  34. Shitty McTits permalink
    December 21, 2012 11:33 am

    Alexass is now bitching about getting too many handjobs.

    Seriously.

    http://tao-dnd.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-huddled-poison-of-togetherness.html

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      December 21, 2012 9:18 pm

      I bet that Canadian tranny deliberately posted that because we haven’t been paying him any attention for quite some time. Way too many other asshat social retards competing for top YDIS billing has knocked him out of the top ten.

      NOW COUNT THE FUCKING HEXES ON THE FUCKING MAP!!!!!

  35. kent permalink
    December 23, 2012 5:05 pm

    Check out my blog!! 🙂

    http://somekingskent.blogspot.ie/

    If you are a smart guy it is the best blog around!! 😉 lol 🙂

    <.0-\)
    <.0-/)

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