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Announcing Dragon Arneson White Dwarf Magazine!

December 3, 2012

It is with great pride that I can announce my involvement with a new gaming publication: Dragon Arneson White Dwarf Magazine. Looking for coverage of all your favorite rpgs and games? We’ll have it from a perspective that is fresh for a new generation, but informed by a primal connection to the glorious past.

One thing we would like to dispel is the unkind notion that, in naming our new publication we are callously attempting to trade on famous names deceptively invoked. Nothing of course could be further from the truth. We arrived at the name Dragon Arneson White Dwarf Magazine (DAWDM) independently and, when someone pointed out that maybe it had derived from some prior industry ingredients, I was just like “That is soooooo crazy, how could you even think that?!?!?” Additionally, the complaints voiced by certain skanless bitches and nappy-ass hoes with tenuous familial connections to certain similarly-named individuals from the hobby’s past is totally  bullshit. Quite simply, the magazine is named after our creative team:

double dragon birds

Carl “The Dragon” MacGillicuddy has deep and enduring ties to the gaming industry – I found him living in a dumpster behind a Games Workshop store in Lexington KY. He brings a restless creativity to the group, along with a requirement to live minimum 2000-feet away from schools.

arne at play

Gunther Arneson might be some kind of cousin or something to legendary D&D inventor Dave Arneson. They share the same last name, so that’s promising. He’s also an enigma, like a walking Deck of Many Things. We look to Gunther to share fond family memories from the dawn of the hobby, which he communicates via a wholly unique vocabulary of hoots and whistles.

me takum good picture

John White Dwarf Buffalo Runs With Sun is a respected member of the Arapaho tribe of Indians (the “woo-woo!” kind, not the dot-head guys). He knows fuck all about gaming, but the name just seemed to fit.

The primary focus of DAWDM is old school gaming, but we intend a fresh look at this ancient lineage and share an equal enthusiasm for new journeys that roleplaying has embarked upon in recent iterations of the industry. Additionally, as hobby enthusiasts and creative spirits unfettered by consideration of limitations to imagination, we aim to spread wide our wings to encompass a surpassing range of interests and explorations. In the pages of DAWDM you can expect to find articles covering all of the following topics:

  • Fantasy
  • Science fiction
  • Horror
  • Roleplaying games
  • Holocaust denial
  • Miniatures games
  • CCGs (collectible card games)
  • CFCs (collectible fart containers)
  • Mopery
  • Fantasy art
  • Wargaming
  • Poop shame
  • Story games
  • Extreme couponing
  • Curing fags of faggotry
  • Anime
  • And much more…!

There will be more news soon, including a preview look at the table of contents for issue #1. We will announce soon where you can purchase print and pdf copies of Dragon Arneson White Dwarf Magazine, just in time for the Christian holidays. Thank you in advance for you support and kind wishes!

24 Comments leave one →
  1. JMalepooski permalink
    December 4, 2012 4:43 am

    For only $55k, I can contribute one empty, dusty room per year – maybe in the Christmas special issue?

  2. December 4, 2012 7:37 am

    I am starting a magazine as well called “Gygax” magazine. We gave Ernie Gygax 1% stock in our new TSR company (Truly Sorry Retards) so we could use the name without Gail giving us a lube-free cavity search in court. In each issue we will have Ernie write about why Melf is so fucking great. Tim Kask will talk about Circus Maximus for the millionth fucking time. Jim Ward will try to get people to remember that Metamorphosis Alpha ever existed. Then I will write an article about tatoos and I how got tons of ass having them. I will only write the one article and my magazine will surely die out since I cannot concentrate on any of my projects for more than 10 fucking minutes before I move to something else.

  3. Timothy permalink
    December 4, 2012 8:47 am

    I am ecstatic about this. I have been waiting for an open-minded dinosaur perspective before incorporating healing surges into my D&D:The Masquerade gaming.

  4. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    December 4, 2012 12:00 pm

    I was looking at this with great interest because I didn’t see the world “Google +” anywhere. As I read every line item, I got more and more excited. Then I saw “anime” and you lost me. The 90’s are over, and noboby watches that faggot Jap tranny fucking tenticle shit anymore. Count me the fuck out.

  5. December 4, 2012 1:31 pm

    I’m still waiting for an OSR™ magazine composed entirely of reviews of thirty year old reviews of games no one ever played.

    As an aside- if anyone should cash in on the masses who would fund the likes of JAMAL its the guys behind Gygax Magazine. Fuck Kask at least knows how to put together a magazine for real not some uploaded text file bullshit.

    • December 4, 2012 1:32 pm

      Fuck, Kask at least…
      forgot the punctuation.

      • Radovarl permalink
        December 4, 2012 2:56 pm

        Naw, you were right the first time, fuck him, comma, too. Calling Dragon a real magazine for its first few years (before it appeared on Waldenbooks shelves and the like) is being too kind. He’s a bitter old social studies teacher (we’ve all known at least one…) now, trying to cash in on the Ass (say “Yum!”) deep wallets/shallow minds crowd along with Mentzer, Ward, and all the rest of those almost-were-but-aren’t-nows. The OSR deserves every single last one of them.

      • December 8, 2012 2:37 pm

        Have no doubt KAsk is going to fuck your shit up for this insult. Now kneel before the power of

  6. President Fartdickmurderrape permalink
    December 4, 2012 2:59 pm

    I want to write a series of articles reviewing reviews of articles. I also will be doing ink-blot prints of my dick and then drawing scary arms and teeth on them and giving them Lovecraftian names as my monthly monster submission.

  7. NUNYA permalink
    December 4, 2012 4:03 pm

    WHAT NOTHING IN THAIR FOR US BRONIES?? FUCK TAHT
    :p
    -NUNYA

  8. Kilgore Trout permalink
    December 4, 2012 8:14 pm

    A last desperate roll of the dice by the old school neverweres, and helmed by the mighty Kask, a creature who alternates between fawning at the feet of his betters or pissing on their boot.

    Well the Gygax boys were likely cut out of the will so who’s to blame them for trying to get a piece of the increasingly stale pie…

  9. Timothy permalink
    December 5, 2012 6:31 am

    Yeah, fuck Kask. His biggest sin, though, was starting that Adventure Gaming Magazine in 81 or 82 and convincing JD to take Finieous Fingers out of the Dragon, to his gay magazine.

    Fuck Kaskoid.

  10. Mister chambers permalink
    December 5, 2012 6:46 am

    Weak. One out of ten stars.

    • JMalepooski permalink
      December 5, 2012 9:41 am

      Thought it deserved three empty rooms out of a possible four.

      • Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
        December 6, 2012 11:00 am

        A rating system simple yet powerful, but I think that in keeping with the tendency of the poorly aging OSRtard grognards to overthink everything, we might need one a bit more descriptive. So:

        Empty room.
        Empty dusty room.
        Room empty except for a non-magical low-value piece of jewelry.
        Room with 3 rats and 2000 copper ha’ pennies (maximum rating).

        As another alternative, I always liked Hustler Magazine rating and to use that would be in keeping of the OSR tendency to copy and regurgitate other peoples shit. So we can now give ratings from “Three Hard On’s” to “Couldn’t get it up with a crane.” Guess which one Dwimmermount gets?

  11. Kent's Rectum permalink
    December 5, 2012 6:01 pm

    I just got a subscription in hopes I can learn to cure Kent of faggotry before I prolapse any further out of his wrecked anal sphincter into his panties.

  12. Uncle carbuncles carbuncle permalink
    December 7, 2012 11:01 pm

    Oh YDIS, I just can’t quit you. Bravo again.

  13. Uncle carbuncles carbuncle permalink
    December 7, 2012 11:19 pm

    Also, I think you might be TBogg.

  14. ratsliveonnoevilstar permalink
    December 8, 2012 6:38 am

    Nine days now without a Grognerdia post. Boys, we may just live to see the end of this long, dark teatime of the hobby. In any case, St. Jimmy is nowhere near on schedule to match the number of posts he made in his first year, so interest (and inane things to say) is waning, however glacially.

  15. John White Dwarf Buffalo Runs With Sun permalink
    December 8, 2012 10:59 pm

    HiHowAreYaHiHowAreYaHiHowAreYa!

    Thank you all very much for your interest in Dragon Arneson White Dwarf Magazine. I think you will find a lot of useful information inside without paying a heapum wampum. I don’t know jack shit about roleplaying games or other stupid shit you unblown palefaces do when you are not masturbating into your mother’s underwear drawers, but here’s a sneak peak of an article I wrote for the first issue.

    POOP SHAME

    A definition:

    For the shameful shitter, it’s more important to poop in the right place than to poop at the right time. Thus shameful shitters lead their lives holding it in.

    Historical background:

    Until the private toilet spread across Western civilization, pooping was often a semi-public experience. People did it in neighborhood privies or on the side of the road, sitting or squatting, knowing that at any moment a neighbor or stranger might walk in and say “hi” and complain about how much taxpayer money was spent on that damned Louisiana Purchase. On cold nights, people would squat over the chamber pot, in full view of spouses and children, who wouldn’t care, because pooping was unremarkable. The shared privy and the unhidden chamber pot were culturally approved.

    Why shame?:

    Just as every poop is a unique snowflake, so too vary the causes and manifestations of shameful shitting. But the shame has two main causes. The first is the Victorian ideological design of the bathroom and the toilet to deny that poop exists. The second is the widespread misinterpretation of instinctive fecal aversion. (Your own poop cannot hurt you.)

    The path to shamelessness:

    We all agree on pooping’s place, but we’re forced to determine for ourselves the acceptability of the sights, sounds, and smells that accompany it. When the conflict between the shameful and the shameless is finally resolved, pooping will be unworthy of angst, meriting as little ceremony as eating or drinking. That’s what it means to be a shameless shitter. You aren’t an exhibitionist or a pervert — you simply feel the urge to poop, and you do it, and you feel better. If it sounds easy to you, then you’re not a shameful shitter — because for the shameful shitter, this simple act is fraught with psychological trauma.

    Only when we understand the toilet as a sanitary, not ideological, apparatus, and poop as a physical, not moral, threat, will society be freed from the tyranny of the bowel.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      December 9, 2012 8:21 am

      You just cut and paste that from Dave Praeger’s book, Poop Culture.

      • John White Dwarf Buffalo Runs With Sun permalink
        December 9, 2012 8:35 am

        You do know how this OSR thing works, don’t you? Cut. Paste. Repeat. Regurgitate.

        And why the fuck are you familiar with books about poop shame, white devil?

      • December 9, 2012 8:59 am

        Damn. That’s some wise shit.

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