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Why everyone is rooting for Obama to win…

November 6, 2012

… because Lord of Green Dragons will absolutely flip his shit and pen an apocalyptic screed damning everyone to hell and blasting big gooey ropes of jizz onto Ayn Rand’s beloved corpse, it will literally be the funniest thing you read for the rest of the year. Also fat-cat Zak will have to pay more taxes, JaMal and Brave Halfling will shed silly woman tears over the abortion angels, and the right-wing nuts that infest this hobby will stimulate the economy with panicked bulk purchases of guns and survival kits.


95 Comments leave one →
  1. Otto permalink
    November 6, 2012 7:43 am

    Isn’t it funny how it’s never blogs you like that turn out to be written by Republicans?

  2. ELH permalink
    November 6, 2012 8:18 am

    Makes more sense to infer that the author is a Romney supporter, trying to incite anger against Democrats. The first rule of trolling is misdirection. Always be the thing you most want others to hate.

  3. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    November 6, 2012 8:26 am

    I wrote in “Giant Turd from Beyond Talent and Taste” on my ballot.

  4. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    November 6, 2012 8:27 am

    On the bright side, If Romney wins, at least JRT can repopulate the OSR with a new generation of all his rape babies…

  5. November 6, 2012 8:28 am

    RE: “…the right-wing nuts that infest this hobby…”

    I feel like it’s so counter-intuitive that being a gamer and a right-wing asshole can coexist. If anything, the fatbeards should be oblivious to politics, since they’re just living to roleplay their eternally-juvenile fap fantasies. Oh well. All American politicians are liars, damned liars, and also liars. Better to game while the world burns…at least you might have a bit of escapism while swirling down the bowl. Let the liberal and conservative fuck-tards run around gnashing their teeth at the decline of American global hegemony and make futile attempts to turn the tide with their bullshit rhetoric and empty promises. I’ll be rolling the bones…

  6. November 6, 2012 8:30 am

    Also: doesn’t JaMal support abortion, so as to avoid any more films that center around bastardy?

  7. November 6, 2012 8:54 am

    Screw the partisanship crap! Where’s my Dwimmermount update?!?!??!

  8. kent permalink
    November 6, 2012 10:59 am

    I love this scene. Larry David has been granted a 10th anniversary gift by his wife which permits him a solitary fuck with some other piece of ass.

    With hours remaining to take advantage of his wife’s naivety …

    • November 6, 2012 11:51 am

      This was very funny. Curb is much better than Seinfeld ever was.

      • November 6, 2012 4:08 pm

        I think Curb holds up much better than Seinfeld, but this bit is recycled from the latter in the episode where George and Jerry ride in the limo with the neo-Nazis and George talks about how he’s going to bang the chick despite her views.

      • November 6, 2012 4:51 pm

        Great memory! YDIS.

  9. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 6, 2012 11:10 am

    Nobody gives a fuck what you watch when you’re all alone in your filthy housing authority flat on a Saturday night, Kent. .

    • kent permalink
      November 6, 2012 3:15 pm

      A sane fellow needs evidence, feedback, before he decides he is a funny guy. Not you. You imagine even your faeces chuckles as you talk to yourself on the john and this cackling shit of yours has given you confidence enough to address me, but it is a false confidence.

  10. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    November 6, 2012 5:00 pm

    I never got an answer to my question. Who was worse for the homosexual pillow biters who love getting fucked up the ass? Adolf Hitler or Kent the homosexual pillow biter who loves getting fucked up the ass?

    • Roger Moret permalink
      November 6, 2012 8:38 pm

      Are we sure Kent is a catcher? He always struck me as a gobbler.

  11. Sykirobme permalink
    November 8, 2012 12:58 pm

    I think Kent’s comments on the OSR’s money-grubbing is proving to be spot-on.

    • November 8, 2012 1:29 pm

      Nice! History will decide whether referral link farming turns out to be a better way to cash in for Huge Ruined than simply greasing the kickstarter rails and then destroying the manuscript.

      • Scott permalink
        November 21, 2012 8:33 am

        Someone else mentioned that my old unlamented Huge Ruined Pile blogspot site had been colonized by link farmers, but I don’t see anything when I go there. I guarantee you if anyone is “monetizing” anything, it’s not me. I’ve never tried to charge money for anything gaming-related and wouldn’t in the unlikely event I could. Checking in here occasionally is the extent of my involvement with the OSR, which has been mostly horseshit for years.

      • November 21, 2012 11:01 pm

        Yes, you’re a money-grubbing profiteer but even worse you think rape is funny. Sickening.

      • Scott permalink
        November 22, 2012 7:48 am

        But it’s a nuanced “sickening”

      • November 22, 2012 7:54 am

        Wild guess: you’re getting a turkey tat on your coin purse today?

      • Scott permalink
        November 22, 2012 8:05 am

        I am now.

      • Timothy permalink
        November 22, 2012 8:25 am

        Great idea – I am going to get one on my utilikilt, right beside my “Free Dwimmermount” blaze.

        That Dwarfland map is cool, Scott. I miss your dead, gay blog.

      • Scott permalink
        November 22, 2012 6:59 pm

        Any cool factor of the Dwarf-Land map is 100% Russ Nicholson’s doing. I have my original sitting around somewhere and in comparison, it looks like I drew it with my feet.

        I’ll be back crapping stuff out on the wordpress blog at some point. Dwarf-Land is and has been really close to done for some time, but I go through very long stretches where I’m literally incapable of working on RPG stuff. Fortunately, I’m not beholden to anyone for $50k and there’s only like ten people who give a shit so it doesn’t matter … it’s free, if people don’t like it they can have their money back.

        Also, ESKIMO

  12. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    November 9, 2012 9:57 pm

    So did Lord of the Green Drizzleshits and his JO buddy Ted Nugent off themselves yet? How about any of the other tin foil hat wearing Tea Party Poopers of the OSR Turdosphere? I guess I was expecting mass suicides like Rove and the Krotch brothers were expecting a negro Jimmy Carter…

  13. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    November 12, 2012 9:10 am

    Sure is quiet. Wonder if this means the Tea Party OSR Turdosphere have finally shot their families while they slept and locked themselves in the garage with the motor running because the black man won again? One can only hope I suppose. Although I do look forward to reading the cut and paste Unibomber manifestos these derps left behind as suicide notes.

  14. FASERIP permalink
    November 12, 2012 10:07 am

    Oh shit, Big Chief YID broke the site.

    Maybe this will help.

  15. Timothy permalink
    November 13, 2012 6:36 am

    JimmieMal and Geoffie and Cuntz asked me to join their mutual suicide pact, but I told them to kiss my natural black ass.

    Anybody see R4’s cover for the Conley “sandbox”? Some musketeer dudes waving big flags at each other behind a big spurt of blood. It just screams “Herein lies a bunch of adventure for the renaissance/horror fetishist.”

  16. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 13, 2012 4:16 pm

    No posts from Jamal Geekface in almost a week. Has he finally hunkered down to produce some quality, dust-related encounters for the ever-epic Dwimmermount his faithful are clamoring for?

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      November 14, 2012 5:59 am

      Last I heard from JaMal, he was clamoring on about somebody else’s devils and demons miniatures Kickstarter or some shit and took the opportunity to remind us that Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon has demons. I assume that means Dust Devils. Each with exactly 2000 CP treasure allotment. I think everybody’s favorite Dimmerdouche delver Lady Wrinklequim should invest in one of these. Ironically, they cost exactly 2000 CP in the Delving Dumber PHB.

  17. The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
    November 18, 2012 3:15 pm

    Any news on Dwimmernot?

    Grognardia is MIA?

  18. Donkeyfucker permalink
    November 19, 2012 12:27 am

    Good ole’ JMal was sick and his doctor told him not to work to hard. So he took it easy and did not do anything for Dwimpeldump. But the next week he will make up for the time loss…
    Paraphrased from his latest kickstarter posting..

  19. Chainsaw permalink
    November 19, 2012 7:05 am

    Aethercon was apparently a big hit.

  20. Zarathustra permalink
    November 19, 2012 3:23 pm

    So he has fully retreated into circle-jerkdom and only his google+ buddies can comment on his blog.

    I think Zak is heading the same way.

  21. Even Beyonder Spacier and Timier permalink
    November 20, 2012 12:12 am

    Is anyone else loving the apparent feud going on between Tales of the Grotesque and Dungeonesque and LotFP? I think it started when Raggi offered to make Jack’s blog compendium one of his $100,000+ Kickstarter reach goals, and Jack made it a free pdf with POD on Lulu instead. Then they had some kind of dispute over what “the weird” means. Then Jack slammed “The Monolith” and fought some kind of comment war against a lot of true believers. Now he’s just posting straight up hilarious take-down reviews of Raggi’s latest “hits.”

    • Timothy permalink
      November 20, 2012 7:14 am

      Ha! That review of Dick Love Doom as a feminist rebuttal to the prison of heterosexual marriage is funny as shit. Accurate, too.

      The sad thing is, R4 will never understand how pathetically shitty Monolith or DLD are. For every thoughtful review (Jack’s review of Monolith was completely even handed and rational) there are several syncophant surrogates (L’il Geoffy, Ed Dove, etc) who attack the reviewer and apply fervent lip pressure to Rag’s ass, so he has no incentive to realize how utterly puerile his work is.

  22. ultranyght permalink
    November 20, 2012 11:05 am

    In this latest post JMalady first confesses that what the irreligious refer to as a ‘sense of humour’ is a perspective he considered sinful growing up following a series of misunderstandings of the *musings* of St. Augustine and Boethius. Now that he is grown man he permits himself several sanctified chuckles per year, for example, a recurring dream in which a gang of gibbons wearing ladies undergarments intrude upon the rite of holy communion never fails to elicit a high pitched tittering upon waking. [At least that is my best guess at what his post is about not reading any further than the title.]

    • November 20, 2012 11:44 am

      There is something very wrong with JMal.
      Very wrong.
      Too obsessed with his nostalgia methinks.

    • Ritter permalink
      November 21, 2012 8:23 am

      He has some serious OCD, even for a gamer. These old magazine reviews are just too much. Four years ago, people read his blog because his obsession seemed to overlap with that of some other gamers. Now he’s posting reviews of magazines no one even read or cared about when they were printed.

      By the way, has anyone considered that his family is imaginary? Maybe his wife and kids are really just character sheets.

  23. November 21, 2012 8:00 am

    Read how Mal’s panties twist because Tim Kask and Company launch Gygax Magazine.
    He can’t give it two thumbs up like he can for an adventure about a pile of shit, but he has hope that the old farts will come up with something palatable, but he’s not holding his breath anymore so than we should to see the release of Petty Gods.

    • Ritter permalink
      November 22, 2012 12:28 pm

      Has Saint Jimmy shifted his comments over to G+ so that he can limit commenters? Interesting. I can’t see the comments. Without visible feedback, the blog (any blog for that matter) has no reason to exist.

      • November 22, 2012 5:18 pm

        Shhh, don’t tell him or Raggi that.

        Oh wait, unless we send an email or comment on the googleplus we CAN’T.

      • Ritter permalink
        November 23, 2012 12:06 am

        Well, at least the Flaming Princess G+ is publicly viewable (not that I give a shit). Seems that St. Jimmy is intent on making his blog an exclusive club for sycophants only.

  24. kent permalink
    November 23, 2012 5:55 am

    When I click on the google+ tab where it used to merely say,

    *Nothing shared here so far. Try adding more people to your circles*

    it now says,

    *Congratulations from the staff at google!! You have been excluded from more circles than we thought possible in such a short time frame.*

    Well this has given me the idea of establishing a CIRCLE OF PRESTIGE on google+ for intelligent gamers with a sense of humour. I need to find out if there is a limit on how many gamers can be excluded from a circle.

  25. kent permalink
    November 23, 2012 10:40 am

    You turds should create a google+ circle for your feeble waning inarticulate protest. You could call it A YDIS SEWERCLE

    • kent permalink
      November 23, 2012 10:41 am


      • November 23, 2012 10:50 am

        I think you meant “ROFL.”

      • kent permalink
        November 23, 2012 11:32 am


      • Timothy permalink
        November 23, 2012 11:39 am

        The sad, desperate Irish faggot remarks on the waning enfeeblement of his betters.


  26. kent permalink
    November 23, 2012 12:22 pm

    Tiny Tim —->>> (SEWERCLE)

    • November 23, 2012 12:55 pm

      Kent, you have so much to offer the world. You should write a blog. I mean a blog that has interesting content and that you don’t habitually take down as though you were a tantrum-prone little girl.

    • kent permalink
      November 23, 2012 1:13 pm

      Is there any way I could get you lady-gossips to stop reading my blog?

  27. jimmy jones permalink
    November 23, 2012 1:13 pm

    who exactly is kent? has he published anything?

    • kent permalink
      November 23, 2012 1:14 pm


      • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
        November 23, 2012 3:22 pm

        Well, that’s one way to describe it…

  28. Kent's Rectum permalink
    November 25, 2012 6:23 am

    Please YDIS help me! I don’t think I can take another well-endowed Jamaican bloke coming home with Kent from the fag bar and pounding on me like a piece of veal!

    • kent permalink
      November 25, 2012 8:02 am

      Wouldn’t you be more comfortable using the word ‘nigger’?

      • November 25, 2012 9:06 am

        I wanted to compare some recent reads to your Appendix N list but you’ve Poag’d your blog again 😦

      • Kent's Rectum permalink
        November 26, 2012 7:22 am

        Good thing I’ve prolapsed through your anus from wear and tear so I flap in the breeze like a windsock because I’m so stretched out, you could land a 757 in me!

  29. Zarathustra permalink
    November 25, 2012 4:04 pm

    Kent craves the adoration of the masses and despises them for with-holding it, hence his blog yo-yo.

    I wonder if he will ever find the fault within?

  30. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 26, 2012 10:41 am

    You gotta love how Jamal dances around his review of Raggi’s latest skunkweed “joint.” You can tell he fucking hates it, but doesn’t want to burn any important bridges with fellow “superstars” of the blOwSR. He should man up and just say “this shit is unrunnable and won’t work in most campaigns. Another turd in the small bowl.”

    And what’s with the comments move? Did the moderated messages hurt so much? Good. I hope some folk can still get in to his Google group to continue giving him hell.

  31. GygaxMagazineBeckons permalink
    November 26, 2012 4:46 pm

    What does it take to get a new entry around this joint???

    • jimmy jones permalink
      November 27, 2012 6:38 am

      more shitty content to be created first or some kickstarter to screw everyone over.

    • December 2, 2012 5:58 am

      I have an idea YDIS should simply rewrite old posts. I bet YDIS could come up with say three or four templates that could be filled in ‘mad libs’ style. Blogging then becomes easy peasy as they say.

  32. November 27, 2012 8:54 am

    Zombies are a big draw these days. Perhaps a metaphor for a generation who can’t deal with middle age and approaching death?

  33. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    November 27, 2012 4:25 pm

    It appears cut and paste retroturds by talentless hacks isn’t just limited to OSR fantasy. Check out this craptactular Vampire the Masquerade knock off and the sad, pathetic drama that follows from the social retard Mykal Lakim behind it:!

    Laugh until you shit and piss yourself from this guy’s ridiculous claims of having a game company as big as Wizards and a “team of lawyers”.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      November 27, 2012 4:34 pm

      Best part of this pathetic tale, the Kickstarter for this only netted $50 bucks before crash and burning:

    • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
      November 28, 2012 6:12 pm

      That thread was amazing. Just… wow.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      November 29, 2012 11:50 am

      Dude threatened those who posted in the thread with a slander suit. Heh.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        November 29, 2012 7:19 pm

        And you would think with a “team of lawyers”, at least one of them would have told this asshat that when someone makes a statement in print damaging to your reputation it’s called libel, not slander. He’s one batshit crazy uncle fucker.

      • unslanderous permalink
        January 11, 2013 4:27 am
        This link should be entertaining for anyone to follow that wants to see what the creator of dark pheonix does with most of his time. This guy can threaten noone with slander… just by knowing him for a decade… and seeing him out with foam swords at almost 30 with 2 teenagers says the game won’t be a huge hit.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      November 29, 2012 7:21 pm

      His second Shitstarter for Vampire: The Knock Off is about to crash and burn too:

      • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
        November 30, 2012 3:53 pm

        Sure it will, but the future looks bright!

        He’s just changed the name of the underlying game system from G.A.M.E. (no really, I kid you not) to DARK LEGACIES!!! That makes all the difference!

        So now DARK Phoenix will produce the DARK Legacies system that in no manner has taken any sort of inspiration from WHITE Wolf.

        Because it’s so DARK, don’t you see???

        You don’t? Really? Well, you just can’t handle the DARKness!

        (Kudos to him for at least spelling “legacies” correctly this time, unlike his game “Mage Leagacies” which, of course, takes no inspiration from anything WW may have once published with the work MAGE in it…)

      • November 30, 2012 11:57 pm

        Did not know I needed rule books and supplements are needed to play dress up and make believe.
        Christmas is coming up.
        Should I buy these for my kids? Do they have a Spongebob or Angry Birds version of the rules written for year olds?

    • December 1, 2012 9:29 am

      Perhaps the world needs a ‘Your Kickstarter Is Suck’ blog.

  34. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    November 27, 2012 4:29 pm

    And while the dust-filled rooms of Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon continue to go un-penned for yet another day, our favorite OSR blowhard daffodil JaMal has started an OSR meme sure to bring whimsical delight to the unblown masses he suckered out of $50K!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      November 27, 2012 4:32 pm

      Here’s my gaming shelf JaMal, or what became of it after I saw all the feces coming out of you and your fellow Aspies from the OSR Turdosphere:

    • JMalepooski permalink
      November 27, 2012 7:06 pm

      I am cool, I promise! Look at my old school collection!

    • Radovarl permalink
      November 27, 2012 7:39 pm

      What the fuck is with that hardcover (beige) volume toward the left of the photo, with “Dungeons and Dragons” on the spine? And the narrow one to the left? Have we missed some sort of official reprint, or has St. Jimmy actually gone and had the Original(tm) rules bound up by a vanity press?

      • November 27, 2012 8:58 pm

        Looks like the pirate all-three-books-in-one edition that’s been known to turn up on Lulu. St J is notoriously careful with precious!holy!originals and stingy with his Kickstarter winnings. Lucky the Gygax estate gets screwed either way.

    • November 28, 2012 10:40 am

      Fuck that tard and fuck his shelf that he stares at instead of keeping up his end of the kick starter ‘bargain’. What an asshole.

      Unless one really has something interesting to post on their blog, post not.

      Say what you will about Alexis over at Tao- and he is an asshole- his blog entries are usually thought provoking and show an educated thinking albeit self absorbed mind.

      Jamal posts the most banal useless shit. At this point its really sad how childish this guy acts. Who gives a fuck what’s on his shelf?

      I’d rather burn my eyes reading the mad rantings of the self important self proclaimed genius Alexis over at TAO than the putrid attempt at maintaining some vain thread of connection to one’s teenage years.

      • November 28, 2012 12:11 pm

        I used to think his “old man lovecraft” queening it up for the kiddies shtick was unintentionally unsettling, then I saw the funny side.

  35. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    November 27, 2012 5:50 pm

    Also in other piddley chickenshit news, and keeping with the original topic of this post, apparently we have Obama to thank for Christian Walker being able to continue his latest, useless shitzine. Now, at least in California, underachievers who have been laid off half a dozen times in a couple of years get the chance to spend more time “educating” the children. Welcome to Obama’s America.

  36. Geddy Goo Goo permalink
    December 3, 2012 8:38 pm


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