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Change in plans

September 25, 2012

Greetings,

I think Ive said all that needs to say on the subject of Dwimmermount for now — progress continues, it’s out of my hands in some measure, but there WILL be something for you someday. In the immediate forthcoming, if you have a question please contact James Malizewski directly at gmail (jmalisze) or g+ (same handle).

In the meantime this blog has not been an effective vehicle to communicate with our true Autarch fans — instead it is a magnet for shit-flingers, ne’er-do-wells, and trolls of every stripe to ply their dastardly trade. To that end, Autarch games is renting this site out on a post-by-post basis — perhaps a change will elevate the conversation here. Leave your bid in the comments or contact me directly, highest bidder gets the next post. New posts typically get 19,000-21,000 page views and those numbers sustain for several days, so visibility is high. Please treat this with the seriousness that is intended, silly bids/commentary will be ruthlessly moderated.

Best regards and game well,

Tavis A.

116 Comments leave one →
  1. September 25, 2012 1:00 pm

    How do I know that the money is not just going to Jim

  2. Timothy permalink
    September 25, 2012 1:01 pm

    I have $400 back from R4’s failed indiebloblo campaign. (I funded the ones I knew would not fund. So R4 was right in his assessment of whose fault the failure was – mine, all mine.)

    That does not sound like a fair trade for 20,000 page views a day, though. What else will you do to sweeten the pot? On the rpgsite thread, you keep mentioning hookers and coke. Any of that left?

  3. September 25, 2012 1:35 pm

    Half the winnings from my new vulture venture KICKFINISHER where we come in, purge the fucking hobbyists from failing projects, restructure the rewards and use the remaining cash to make the fucking thing happen.

    I’ll even pay a finder’s fee if you know anyone who might appreciate that kind of blessed relief.

  4. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    September 25, 2012 3:16 pm

    Here’s the next big thing in the OSR. But using the term “working out” is probably going to scare off more than a few fatbeards.

    http://unknownzine.blogspot.com/2012/09/daily-rpg-workout.html

    But it’s an idea from the fertile imagination of Christian Walker (“I surf! I read comics! I game! I cook! I have a garden! I publish a quality ‘zine! Look at my goofy face!”), so you know it has success written all over it. At least he’s finally given up on getting random murder hobos off of Craigslist to come to his his house for games. Google + is the way to go! That’s a 4 star decision, so he may just have the next Kickstart Tavis will want to get in on…

    • September 25, 2012 4:35 pm

      Oh good god. Just when you think the hobby cannot get any stranger, I go and read this.

      BTW, I read Raggi’s Death Dark Doom. I will be reviewing it.

      • September 26, 2012 12:23 pm

        Review of Death Love Doom is up on Dwimmerdust. Short Take: pointless piece of crap. God that Crawls is up next. Just need to read it.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        September 27, 2012 12:32 am

        Have to agree, Raggi lays out a murderhobo trap and then *shock* makes it where the party cannot hope to destroy the shitty artifact of the Duvan Ku cult that festers like a boil on Raggi the Last’s pimply ass. Raggi obviously suffers from a lot of the Dungeon Master control issues that Luke Crane railed against when he wrote the Burning Wheel. I mean, honestly, what kind of player would be such a masochist as to put up with this ‘fuck you that’s why!!!” style of games that Raggi produces?

      • September 27, 2012 1:34 am

        That and Raggi never explains. He sets up these set pieces for no other reason than to write torture porn. There is never a hook, just this bubble of fucked up shit.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        September 27, 2012 3:38 am

        I’d also hazard that Raggi’s knowledge of Lovecraft hits somewhere around hitting the bong hard at 4:00 AM and watching Re-Animator followed by From Beyond in a hash haze. Given, as horror movies I enjoy them but they are pretty far removed from the horror of Lovecraft who was never a ‘splatterpunk’ in his writings. A good Dungeon Master could take The Sinister Secret of Saltmarsh and make it suitably eerie and it doesn’t involve eviscerated infants and web a shooting penis. As much as I can appreciate John Morghen getting his junk chopped off in Cannibal Ferox and a drill through his head in Gates of Hell, it a good D&D module does not necessarily make. And yet the blog-o-sphere commends these crap modules as the height of new OSR storytelling. I still wish someone had told me Dumb Chilly Womb was a rip off of The Lichway rather than talking about it being the greatest module EVAR!!!!!

      • September 27, 2012 4:31 am

        Bingo. He is a show not tell writer. I cannot fathom why anto e would want to spend the evening playing this. Horror is good, hell using horror to show how fucked up humans can be is fine. This was just an excuse to do a Faces of Death knock off. Mind you The Crawling God is no better

      • Timothy permalink
        September 27, 2012 6:17 am

        Faggs’ modules suck shit. He even admits its all about Fuck You, Thats Why and still he has his own Tea Party slurping up his coagulated excuses for adventures. He is writing either railroads or misery tourism view-only pieces these days. And as both perdustin and LoGGG have pointed out, his masterpiece is a rip off of the Licheway.

      • September 27, 2012 8:04 am

        At the end of the day, that is what I did not like about Death Dark Love, there was no point about it, other than allowing Raggi a chance to write torture porn. A adventure, and I do not care if you are doing a story game, a traditional game, or even a wargame, needs a hook to motivate the players. Without the hook, why would you, as a player, want to take your character through the adventure. It is not that hard.

        For all the knocks the old school (and by this I mean TSR creators of the late 70’s and early 80s) gets, the majority of their modules had a hook. Shit, Isle of Dread is a sprawling sandbox island, and there are enough hooks to get you to the island, and to explore the island.

        If Raggi wants to write torture porn, come out and say so, and either publish a short story collection, or post it to your fucking blog. As it is, there is nothing unique to Raggi’s work, it is simply fuck up turned to 11.

        Here’s the thing, I’m writing the review for The God That Crawls. This could have been a very good adventure, but he fucks everything up about it, right on the first two pages..

  5. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    September 25, 2012 8:25 pm

    I’ll give you one titty nipple from Saltine Penis brutally severed with my own teeth for the whole lot, lock, stock and barrel. I’ll even throw in a slightly used pumpkin mask.

  6. September 25, 2012 10:08 pm

    I HAVA LOONY I SPLOOGED ON FOR YES FUCK BLOG WORTH LESS

  7. Chainsaw permalink
    September 26, 2012 6:07 am

    Have some of my baby’s shitty diapers if you will consider a trade?

  8. Peanut Eminem permalink
    September 26, 2012 12:13 pm

    Not to be a dick. Ok to be a dick.
    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/penguin-group/book-publisher-sues-over-advances-657390

    Should Jim give back his money now?

    • September 26, 2012 12:34 pm

      Someone on therpgsite mentioned that since the project has been so delayed that Jim should do the right thing and refund all the money, finish the manuscript, and then they can redo the whole Kickstarter. For some reason I do not think that he will do that.

  9. Roger Moret permalink
    September 26, 2012 12:56 pm

    I’ll give half a hundo to post some more orc shitting Pog art, cause nothing says failed OSR like shitty Pog art.

    • fatmike3 permalink
      September 26, 2012 6:46 pm

      The more I eat, the smaller my dick looks.

  10. September 27, 2012 8:51 pm

    KENTS CUNT DISPEARED SENSE HE WAS OUTED WHATTA PUSSY

    • October 5, 2012 2:23 pm

      In light of this continued absence, allow me to maintain the standards of literary discourse to which gracious Kent has accustomed us:

      ‘Now hear a plain fact: Malizewski has not written one new truth. Now hear another: he has written all the old falsehoods.
      And now hear the reason. He conversed with grognards, who are all nostalgic, and conversed not with players who all hate nostalgia, for he was incapable through his conceited notions.
      Thus Malizewski’s writings are a recapitulation of all superficial opinions and an analysis of the more sublime, but no further.
      Have now another plain fact: any man of mechanical talents may from the writings of Jaquays or Gary Gygax produce ten thousand volumes of equal value with Malizewski’s – and from those of Dante or Shakespeare an infinite number.
      But when he has done this, let him not say that he knows better than his mater, for he only holds a candle in sunshine.’

      Between his buttocks, no doubt – and apologies to William Blake.

  11. September 29, 2012 7:33 am

    Deep Hollows and Magic Items Available for Download

    Update #27 – For backers only · Sep. 28, 2012 · 1 comment
    In this update we have another two new sections of Dwimmermount ready for download, updated progress analytics, and a message from James:

    “Two things about Level 7: First, this level is intended to be open-ended. There are points along each edge of the map where it could be expanded to included more caves and undeground passageways. This is intentional, since I like the idea of there being a vast subterranean realm connected to the lower levels of Dwimmermount.

    Second, this is the last “regular” level of the dungeon. Levels 8 and 9, as well as Level 0 — the bonus level — are all heavily tied into the history of the dungeon, as well as the larger world. That is, they contain a lot of revelations about the true nature of things in my campaign setting, whereas those presented thus far have been much less heavily tied into it, though, if you’re good at reading between the lines, some of what is coming should be apparent.

    As always, thanks again for your patience and understanding as this project rolls along. I continue to playtest the levels in my regular Google+ hangout games (at least once or twice every week). If you’re interested in participating in these playtests, please drop me a line either directly through G+ or at jmalisze@gmail.com and I can set you up. The playtests have been very useful and the finished product will be all the better for them.”

    Here are some of Eric Quigley’s illustrations from the Deep Hollows level:

  12. September 29, 2012 7:34 am

    As you can see, the slope of the recent progress line is suggesting that the project will be completed sooner rather than later; next week I’ll officially revise the estimate. Here’s the new internal milestones toward completion, which are now presented with the furthest-future ones first:

    Week of 11/14: Level 8 draft
    Week of 11/7: Draft of either the Outside the Dungeon or Muntsburg sections; playtesting of level 7
    Week of 10/31: Level 8 draft
    Week of 10/24: Draft of either the Outside the Dungeon or Muntsburg sections; playtesting of level 6B
    *DONE AHEAD OF TIME* Week of 10/17: Level 7 draft
    *DONE AHEAD OF TIME* Week of 10/10: Draft of the New Magic Items section; playtesting of level 6A
    *DONE AHEAD OF TIME* Week of 10/3: Level 6B draft; *OUTSTANDING* revised schedule for completion
    *DONE AHEAD OF TIME* Week of 9/26: Draft of the NPC Parties section; playtesting of Level 5
    *DONE AHEAD OF TIME* Week of 9/19: Level 6A draft
    *DONE ON TIME* Week of 9/12: New monster write-ups completed, file reorganization, playtesting of Level 4
    *DONE ON TIME* Week of 9/5: Draft of level 5 and chart showing when project milestones to date have been met; *RESCHEDULED FOR 10/3* estimate for completion of the entire project
    *DONE ON TIME* Week of 8/29, finished cartography for additional levels below 4 and wandering monster tables; *DONE ON 9/12* new monster write-ups
    *DONE ON TIME* Week of 8/22, draft of level 4
    *ON TIME* Week of 8/15, scans of original Dwimmermount notes; *OUTSTANDING* except for level 8 notes, character sheets, and cartography which are still being collected

  13. September 29, 2012 5:22 pm

    Only 23 comments! @#!!!!!!
    I mean 23!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Go back to what worked! Damn you YDIS! I can’t get enough of you.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 30, 2012 8:14 am

      I’m all JaMal-ed out. No offense Runs with Scissors, but it’s starting to get a little old and stale. Sorry man. It was a good run though.

      Somebody talk about Faggi Four. I’ve heard nothing about The Turd that Crawls (and I actually like the cover art for that suckdungeon so stop calling me a hater who gonna hate) and The Magnificent Poop van Pants yet.

      • September 30, 2012 11:22 am

        No worries.

        I reviewed The God That Crawls at my blog, as well as Death Doom Love. Magnificent is later this week.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 30, 2012 5:43 pm

        Thanks I’ll be looking forward to your Joop Poop Pants review.

      • October 2, 2012 9:50 am

        Joop Poop Pants gets posted tomorrow. Believe it or not, it is pretty good. I know, I was shocked as well.

  14. ghost in the machine permalink
    September 29, 2012 9:21 pm

    Weekly creeper DF thread, talk turns to killing babies on page 8 then something called “vargr1105” starts dropping hints that he lives on Planet Gor and female visitors to his home should put the lotion in the basket when asked, and do so quietly:
    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=34832&start=105

    • Timothy permalink
      September 30, 2012 7:59 am

      That vargr kid is practically clip art. Calls everyone else who has a family where they are not “patriarchal” to be submissive, yet he uses the standard issue “cultural marxist” to define those who who do join his lockstep tinking. That boy has no understanding of irony.

      Beating up women does not mean you are not submissive, particularly when you are regurgitating GlennBeckisms. What a facist drone.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 30, 2012 5:48 pm

        Anyone I’ve ever known with vargr’s stance on SOs, dating and relationships with women has usually been too ugly to fuck, even by bottom of the barrel fugly chicks.

    • September 30, 2012 9:44 am

      Could Jeeves be Kent? How many people posting to RPG forums use the word ‘excrescence’?

      • ghost in the machine permalink
        September 30, 2012 11:10 am

        Yes Jeeves is Kent. He was outed a couple posts ago.

      • October 5, 2012 2:28 pm

        Now now. Let’s not indulge in that sort of thing. A flounce is a flounce, after all.

        ‘The stern bard ceas’d, asham’d of his own song: enrag’d he swung
        His harp aloft sounding, then dashed its shining frame against
        A ruin’d pile in glittering fragments: silent he turned away,
        And wander’d down the vales of Kent in sick and drear lamentings.’

        Flame Princesses strictly optional.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 30, 2012 5:42 pm

      All I can say is thank Jesus Mother Fucking Christ that PaladinesAngel bitch doesn’t want to breed and pass on her inferior genes. I’m picturing a cleft palate and a mono-brow on that heffer who probably has an IQ at borderline retarded.

  15. October 1, 2012 12:32 pm

    JAMOLJEWSKI OWNS ALL U LITTLE FUCKSTIKS MORE TALEN IN HE’S FUCK PUBES THAN YOU FUCKI BRAINS

    • Timothy permalink
      October 1, 2012 1:30 pm

      Less bitching, more Candi, dumbass.

  16. Timothy permalink
    October 1, 2012 1:29 pm

    Aw, man, Robbie Kuntz is buggering off into the sunset. Only two people give a shit.

    http://lordofthegreendragons.blogspot.com/2012/09/closed.html

    Now we’ll never read the subsequent installments of Debunking the Myths. How sad!

    We haven’t heard from L’il Lexi in a while. Is her blog still going, or did she get lost in all that sexual adventurism stuff?

    • October 1, 2012 4:38 pm

      Downeaster Alexis was sighted on the front lines of that bizarre little G+ “war” where Zak was bantaming around like that chickenhawk who’s always chasing Foghorn Leghorn “challenging” people to a “DM duel” to settle their slights on his favorite glory hole’s honah, I say its honah suh.

      • Timothy permalink
        October 2, 2012 6:23 am

        Is all this G+ crap viewable by the great unwashed? I have seen one or two threads, but from links. I have no idea how to access all this cool zak drama.

      • October 2, 2012 8:45 am

        Given the absence of manly consolation, an unsurprising lack of blood has been spilled anywhere. The highest ratio of giggles to shits is probably around here:

        http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?t=24039&page=95

        The only “cool zak drama” I can ever even remotely hearing was third hand from his Cooper Union days and even that’s more derivative than thrilling.

      • October 2, 2012 9:53 am

        That whole thing felt more like a tickle and pillow fight, than a blood feud. Zak came across as a douche and really has nothing to offer other than a “edgy” blog with so called “porn stars.”

      • Timothy permalink
        October 2, 2012 9:59 am

        Thanks, Schiz, but I have seen that already. I meant the google plus circle jerks that people keep talking about. Evidently there was a thread or whatever on google + where they are bitching about that rpgsite thread, and zak is getting his back scratched by all his head-crew.

      • October 2, 2012 10:06 am

        There’s a couple of those but unless they’re the people I don’t read it was all shits, no giggles. Lemme see what I can dig up.

      • October 2, 2012 10:18 am

        Here’s some. Jim:

        James MaliszewskiSep 26, 2012+6
        And I’ve never dared to read it. I figure I can more profitably improve myself by hammering a nail into my skull.

      • October 2, 2012 10:19 am

        Pearce SheaSep 26, 2012
        I’ve flicked through like 40 pages at this point. There are such arguments as to whether kickstarter is for “funding” or “selling.” Discussions of tax implications for a retail platform. Kent shows up and says something that is ignored. Then someone argues about what someone else’s intentions were. There is a lot of back and forth about intentions and being disingenuous and who is more disingenuous and no one seems to have much interest in actually trying to ask the people about their intentions but then, damnit, they should make their intentions known and kent shows up again and then there is talk about whether or not something should have been sold as house rules or a setting or an adventure or something and kent keeps talking but no one is talking to kent but then someone is and they are arguing about the OED which gets me excited because I own two different copies of the OED but then it’s just about the definition of “accomplishment” which is ironic, considering, and then we’re back on who is responsible for what and who they are responsible to, no not to us, but to the backers who this is really all about but no, most of us aren’t backs, and then we need to really talk about what this poster means in light of what he said in 2009 or 2006 and oh my god

      • October 2, 2012 10:20 am

        This exchange cracks me up:

        James KennedySep 26, 2012
        I don’t really know any of the people involved(I’m a Pathfinder GM, with very little OSR experience), and I’m not a Dwimmermount backer either (although the art I’ve seen of it makes me wish I had OSR friends when it was on kickstarter), but citing something James Mal said about politics 5 years ago as evidence for his ability to make a megadungeon is simply absurd.

        James MaliszewskiSep 26, 2012
        +James Kennedy Really? That’s hilarious. 

        James KennedySep 26, 2012
        That’s the argument. I kid you not.

      • October 2, 2012 10:21 am

        God he’s a dick:

        Zak SmithSep 26, 2012+2
        But we can have nice things. And we do. We will have Dwimmermount, and it will be good and they will have to find new ways to masturbate into each others mouths while we play games. 

      • October 2, 2012 10:22 am

        Victim of Gamer Stockholm Syndrome:

        Jesse ButlerSep 26, 2012 – Public
        So over on “theRPGSite” there is a long thread which is mostly one guy who seems to have an axe to grind about the Dwimmermount Kickstarter. I’m mostly only peeking in because it is such a train wreck.

        One of his big complaints is basically “I was tricked! I had no idea the money would go to +James Maliszewski . I thought Autarch was getting the money!” (Not his exact words, but close enough.)

        As a backer, I knew going in the Kickstarter was going to James. Where else would it go? Sure, he’ll need to use some of the money for printing or whatever, but it’s James’s Dwimmermount project. Autarch is helping out with hosting files, etc. But the project was always James.

        And what is with this strange notion that Kickstarter funds should only be used for production, etc? It’s like people don’t get that Kickstarters are ways to support creative people to produce stuff. That doesn’t just mean materials. That means time. And if a project makes way more than it needs to? Great. Good on them. It’s not like I’ve seen a single hippie non-profit RPG creation commune. (Although if someone starts one, count me in!) The whole point of Kickstarter is to support (IE, pay their bills) creative people so they can get to being creative.

        Kickstarters can produce some cool stuff, but they do require a bit of patience. While the project had some delays, they’ve been giving frequent updates for the last few weeks. Seems like everything is back on track to me.

        Forgive the rant, but I figured it’d be more productive posting here than over there.

      • October 2, 2012 10:28 am

        James MaliszewskiSep 23, 2012
        +Erik Tenkar Overly optimistic estimated release dates are the bane of many a Kickstarter. Not a single one I’ve backed has come out exactly on “schedule,” but I never expected them to. I know too well how these things work and all the variables that can throw a wrench into even the best laid plans (which mine were not).

        I don’t mind informed criticism from people who know what they’re talking about. And goodness knows I made a lot of mistakes. But I don’t think that justifies the kind of character assassination, slander, and old lady-style gossiping I’ve seen on too man blogs and forums. I get that a small segment of the Net hates me for reasons I’ll never understand, but is it too much to expect that those who don’t share that opinion not spread rumors and half-truths and draw attention to morons?

      • Timothy permalink
        October 2, 2012 12:00 pm

        That’s great, thanks, IRWS. None of this is viewable by the public, or am I misunderstanding?

        “I get that a small segment of the Net hates me for reasons I’ll never understand,”

        As long as he refuses to read what people are saying about him, then, yeah, he will never understand. So Ubi Penis is full clothed.

      • October 2, 2012 2:08 pm

        You have to know where to look. There’s some more but the above is the big stuff

    • October 2, 2012 9:51 am

      So if a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around, it does not make any noise.

      • October 3, 2012 9:27 am

        I happen to enjoy reading Mal’s blog despite its navel gazing.
        I don’t think criticism of him not delivering promised product character assassination. Its just a back stab. A +4 to hit rear attack. I think Jmal is high enough level to take the strike without losing too many hp’s.
        Or he could, you know, simply write up the remainder of his lame ass dungeon and shut his critics up.

  17. October 1, 2012 5:06 pm

    Hey Everybody!
    I’m a little bit disappointed that no one came to the Ottawa Crafters fair to BUY MY STUFF because I had whiskey stones, wooden mustaches, ‘whiskey improvers’ (charcoal briquets in mason jars) and vanilla beans. If you go to my website, you can see some slightly out of focus and underexposed (aka “artistic”) photos of these wunderbar products brought all the way from the moon… hah hah. I’m the funniest guy around.
    We didn’t make any money last weekend, so come one come all NEXT WEEKEND to the Ottowa Crafty Crafter’s fair held at St. Stanislaus’ Parish! Me and my girlfriend (I have a girlfriend and she makes quilts, so stop flirting with me, you guys!) will be there at the KRAZEEQUILTSandKILTS boutique!
    You know I’m straight because I have a girlfriend and if you give me money, I’ll make you an Avatar with bouncing Japanese cartoon girls with BIG TITS. A gay man couldn’t make you an avatar with BIG TITS! Because nothing says “I am a unique individual” like an avatar that you paid someone else to make! See my etsy store NOW and make your dreams a reality! Hah hah!
    And give me your money!

  18. unclecarbuncle permalink
    October 1, 2012 7:30 pm

    KENTS CUNT IS COMPOSITNG WORMS JRTS HAVANA CONJGCAL VISIT WITHA DEAD SHEEPS

  19. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    October 1, 2012 7:55 pm

    JaMal “reviews” the Turd from Beyond Taste and Talent on Turdnardia today – after babbling on about the term “module” for several paragraphs in one of his typical, tedious tangents. Naturally we get the same old passive aggressive dismissal we’ve come to expect from one of Pope James reviews rather than the balls to just call Faggi’s suckdungeon out for the steaming pile of feces it really is.

    “Don’t Buy This If: You have no interest in Lovecraftian themes or have no interest in potentially wrecking one or more player characters to introduce them into the campaign.” And there it is, if you can stomach reading the whole thing all the way to the end.

    http://grognardia.blogspot.com/2012/10/review-monolith-from-beyond-space-and.html

    I just want to know how JaMal expects me to explain to my children why he has a picture of a mushy corn laden turd on his blog today. Didn’t he think about the children? What about the children????

    • October 2, 2012 8:43 am

      I think JMal should stick to this sort of thing and give up on trying to be Gary Gygax.
      His review isn’t half bad, and as well all know, he sure loves to post to his blog. So I think a printed collection of his postings would be a much better and more honest use of his time.

      • October 2, 2012 9:55 am

        When he interviewed the old guard, that was really good. I’d love to see a collection of those.

    • October 2, 2012 9:55 am

      This one is on my docket for next week, but here’s the thing, for the life of me, the Lovecraft feel is only there because Raggi says so. The Turd makes Death Love Doom read like War and Peace.

      • Radovarl permalink
        October 2, 2012 10:14 am

        Raggi’s rags are about as Lovecraftian as the Call of Cthulhu RPG. That is to say, not remotely. One wonders if he’s even read HPL.

  20. October 2, 2012 10:28 am

    Well he say’s he read it. 😉

    • Radovarl permalink
      October 2, 2012 10:49 am

      Doesn’t mean he understood it. In any case, Ragoff could convert any literary inspiration into torture porn, including things like Alice in Wonderland. Heck, that’s probably his next project.

      • October 2, 2012 2:05 pm

        Oh man my eyes hurt after that

      • Radovarl permalink
        October 2, 2012 4:15 pm

        Huh… I never gave Zak a look before. That list actually isn’t all THAT bad, for what it is. I’m not big into lists.

        I get all the hate about, “I’m an edgy urban twink hanging out with a bunch of used B-list pornstars, hear me roar!”, but after looking at the Humpty Dumpty illo just below the list, which is kind of rad I have to say, I started to think maybe he actually has something. Not that I’m gonna go out and buy Vornheim, or start gaming with whores or anything…

      • October 3, 2012 6:18 am

        I like ALice and Wonderland, and his take was too much for me. Vornheim is very hot or miss, but there are some good things hidden throughout that book. I’ve used some for my own games.

    • October 2, 2012 1:43 pm

      Methinks he read the entry in Deities and Demigods…

      • Radovarl permalink
        October 2, 2012 4:19 pm

        Methinks you hit the nail directly upon its rather broad head. The one thing Geoffrey, Zak, and Raggi all have in common is that they view Lovecraft through the interpretive lens of Rob Kuntz, who sees him through the atrocious literary taste of Gary Gygax, who sees him through the TOTAL FUCKING SHIT PASTICHES of that fucking betrayer August Derleth, may he forever rot in the obscurity which is his due.

      • Radovarl permalink
        October 2, 2012 4:21 pm

        The ironic thing is that Pope Jimmy totally gets HPL, and likes him more than any self-respecting crucifix-fellator ought to do. But then again, I’m a complete and utter atheist and my favorite author is Tolkien….

      • Timothy permalink
        October 3, 2012 8:52 am

        Excellent analysis of R4/Geoffie/zakina view of Lovecraft. The Otus illos were evocative but they made me interested in the source; they were not the end itself, as it was for that crew.

        Hey Radovarl, don’t sugarcoat your feelings about Derleth.

  21. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    October 3, 2012 12:20 pm

    Good lord. I have to stop tooling around forums and meetups. I keep reading and seeing things I cannot unsee. The unblown are some sick fucks. Check out this thread by our hero Bloodymage, but look at the Daughters of The Deep cover of Thorkhammers module (famous for obsessing on the giants modules and falling asleep at Trent Fosters table at Socal Minicon). Human sailors deep kissing and grinding muscular deep one women? That I did NOT need to see. Fuck.

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=45431&start=45

    • October 3, 2012 12:48 pm

      More evidence that Thorkhammer is actually a next-generation deadpan super-parody. Looks like he accidentally stumbled onto Raggi’s holiday musings — themselves a year and a half behind the buzz — and decided to jump a little piss stream his own self. Upside: from the way that sailor’s manhandling his she-fish, we might “finally” see updated OSR stats for none other than Popeye.

      http://lotfp.blogspot.com/2011/12/well-thats-going-to-be-bad-influence.html

    • October 3, 2012 12:59 pm

      Oh man. Now I cannot unsee that

    • Let me tell you about my character permalink
      February 13, 2013 11:48 pm

      Holy God that cover is the most wack RPG thing I have ever seen and I’ve seen F.A.T.A.L.

  22. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    October 3, 2012 6:19 pm

    Maybe Alexis should apply for this bachelor party gig and make these guys count the fucking hexes on the map for a few hours. That fat tranny Alexis is at least a C cup in the man boob department, right?

    http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/tlg/3310486791.html

    Some poor shlep commenting on this craigslist ad over at Big Purple Dildo RPGNet got in trouble for merely stating the obvious – any woman capable of DMing a decent game of D&D is probably someone you wouldn’t want to see topless. Best part is he was reported for this “sexist” comment by Zeea the She Male Tranny claiming he had just insulted “her” and the other women of RPGNet. What a sideshow circus freak! YOU ARE NOT A REAL WOMAN EVEN IF YOU CUT OFF YOUR JUNK YOU ARE MENTALLY ILL!!!!

    • Radovarl permalink
      October 4, 2012 4:35 am

      Wow. I couldn’t make stuff like that up if I tried… It’s bad enough that someone would want to play D&D as a bachelor party, but to actually advertise for topless DMs on Craigslist? Just wow. Please everyone, if you must objectify women, please do it the traditional way and just go to a damn strip club.

      • October 4, 2012 4:57 am

        Scary shit. What rationale person ( other than a professional stripper/ hooker type with bodyguard dude ) would respond to this crap?

        You can trust some writing on the internet that tells you all you have to do is DM topless…after all all D&D players are ‘normal’ dudes…
        not boy men who haven’t actually dated and had sex with women.

    • October 4, 2012 6:28 am

      Holy cow. I do not know what is worse, the CL posting, or RPG.net’s over the top reaction.

  23. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    October 4, 2012 1:12 pm

    Satine Penix has done a lot worse for probably less. She’s taken multiple beatings and cheesy loads in her huge maw on film. Surely she would be right for this, considering she regular runs those comic shop games for murder hobos. Plus as she is recently divorced from a broke artist and was on the hook for hundreds of dollars because of the shop being robbed by her guests on her birthday this last year, she could probably use the cutter.

    The bach party lads might not be down with a chick that looks like a Phillipino shemale, though.

    • October 7, 2012 4:13 pm

      This is perhaps the best part of the latter review of Dwimmer:

      “Truthfully, I wanted to follow him into death–the dungeon was that boring.”

      • October 7, 2012 4:14 pm

        More from wondrousimagings:

        “Where’s the grand tale of adventure in that? Would it make a good movie? Would you pay eight bucks to see it on the big screen? Did we do anything awesome? Did we encounter weird ass shit and survive by the skin of our teeth, using our wits and courage to overcome the obstacles? Was there at any point an opportunity or a need to be creative with the stuff in the environment to further our ends? Was the environment itself creative and mysterious, leaving us a with a sense of awe and wonder? Did it make us want to explore further? Did it open up further layers of a mystery?

        Or did we just push and pull at meaningless torch sconces that didn’t move, hoping for a secret door and an end to the boredom, as we tripped over yet another empty crate in yet another empty room and attracted yet another 1d6 orcs armed with rusty shortswords carrying 3-6 sp each ”

        Awesome review.

    • feelthelol permalink
      December 4, 2012 6:53 pm

      The best bit:

      What the fuck! 2000 copper pieces in a rats’ nest? What the fuck are rats doing with 2000 copper pieces? Can they even count to 2000 copper pieces? Did Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser have to pick through rat shit to find 2000 rat shit cover copper pieces?

  24. Zarathustra permalink
    October 7, 2012 8:37 pm

    It will be interesting to see how the cosy circle jerk crowd react to the poor reviews I expect to keep trickling in…

    • The Minotaur's Left Testicle permalink
      October 7, 2012 10:19 pm

      Oh, it’s already started…

      http://www.therpgsite.com/showthread.php?p=589925#post589925

      • October 8, 2012 6:42 am

        Dwimmermount Blows Donkey

        What more need be said?

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        October 8, 2012 10:24 am

        “From what I understand we covered roughly 40% of the map and IIRC there wasn’t a damn thing in the dungeon. If not for the random encounters and a couple of rats, the place was barren. One empty room after another. As a player there was no motivation to be there.”

        “There have been worse blights on the earth, such as the Twilight novels and the Chick Tracts but this is not far behind them.”

        HAHAHAHAHAHA! Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon is EPIC FAIL!

  25. October 7, 2012 9:59 pm

    Nothin like a round of ookie cookie to get the OSR crowd warmed up for Dwimmer fun!

  26. Timothy permalink
    October 8, 2012 7:57 am

    Hah! The asskissers don’t waste any time showing up to tell those guys they are doing it wrong. Like that Jason Zavoida bitch, from his avatar he is evidently on work release, and he is mouthing the standard issue “any-dm-worth-his-salt-could make it great” bullshit. Tenkar is a tool, but he plainly states they are running it as close to the book as possible to experience it as Saint James has handed it down – that is what the players asked for. But dummy Zavoida has shown up in a lot of places recently, trying to put everyone else down for not having his insight. He is lamer than Kent, who at least has a sense of humor.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      October 8, 2012 10:32 am

      I see the social retards of the OSR Turdosphere are out in force to defend this lame ass amateur day outing from JaMal. I can only imagine having to sit through a session of Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon run by some Asperger social retard like Jason Zavoida. Face it Dimmerdouche is a steaming pile of feces and if you paid money for it up front, you were and idiot and everyone knows you are an idiot so stop trying to defend it to save face.

      And Kent isn’t funny at all unless he’s getting his fudge packed regularly. That makes me chuckle.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      October 8, 2012 11:37 am

      Zavoda is the one who spammed this shit (esp. the hill giant one) constantly on Usenet for years:

      http://home.comcast.net/~jasonzavoda/site/?/page/Stories/&PHPSESSID=89c7d88d5209d49e23ef95a51c3991a2

      I can’t take anything he’s ever said seriously after those.

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        October 8, 2012 12:33 pm

        Jesus Mother Fucking Christ if that horseshit from Zavoda is supposed to be an example of “worth his salt” then that is just sad and pathetic.

    • October 8, 2012 12:03 pm

      Ok let me get this straight.
      “Any DM worth his salt could make this great.”
      Hmmm.
      This would seem to be a good argument to make and yet its a straw man.

      The DM who can make Dwimmermount work is a DM who does not need to buy Dwimmermount in the first place.

      The salty DM could simply make use of the tables in the back of the good ole DMG ( first ed) and using his salty imagination, make something great. No need to spend cash on kickstarting anything.

      • October 13, 2012 11:47 pm

        The salty DM has precious little need to spend cash on any supplementary materials, kickstarted or otherwise.

        Alas, an industry has been built on selling salt to the saltless, as it were.

  27. October 8, 2012 9:25 am

    AXGAR LVL4 BARBARIAN I NEEDS REST I JUS GOT ME ASS KICKED BY THAT HILL GIANT YOU WERE BLOWING. LOOK OVER HERE AT THIS ROOM. 20 FEETS x 30 FEETS CUNTAINS WHIP CHAINS 3 SETEES SET AT ODD ANGLES AN A BONG. LES SPIKE TH DOOR THIS LOOK PERFECT AS HIS LOINS BEGIN SWELL CANDI ROLLS EYES AN SHRUGS

  28. Captain Kirks Dick Blood permalink
    October 8, 2012 11:38 am

    Would be nice if Kent would break out that sense of humor on YDIS. When he comes here he sounds like one of those bitter, hopeless dorks who try to be funny on DF.

    Joe the Lawyer is a Zak faithful who pays to play in the G+ games and is one of the murder hobos paying to play in Satine Penix’s fugly comic shop games (I get the impression over the last couple of years that Zak Freakshow and company have made more than a few duckets from this unblown geek lawyer), but I have to commend him on his truthfulness and candor on the issue of the worlds most boring dungeon.

    It’s pretty interesting that all this classic Gygax mandated old school play sounds cool to talk about, but in reality it’s not very colorful. That no-can-do ghost encounter sounds like it could be cool dressing, but the fact that it amounts more or less to a hologram that does nothing steals away the cool. Like something a 12 year old back in the day would have as an encounter. Sure, we could all add in some kind of affect or whatever to spruce it up (move a chess piece and get attacked;a PC recognized a ghost from when he was alive and can converse with it, etc) but is that Geekface’s intention? This thing wasn’t advertised as a Search of the Unknown where the DM fills in the blanks. This was billed as a legendary, stocked dungeon full of wonder.

    These negative reviews are coming from guys who went into running the dungeon with an upbeat attitude. and it smacked them down with it’s suck. Really, I can’t wait to see what a full, positive review of this fail is going to look like. It’s going to be a gold mine of irony and unintentional satire.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      October 8, 2012 12:29 pm

      For years joethelawyer has been one of the leading unblown social retards from the old school camp. His complete lack of any life and need to include his profession in his online persona user I.D. means he probably graduated from one of the bottom tier laws schools that let anyone in who has the money to pay. He certainly lacks the mental capacity judging by his extensive online presence to pass either the California or New York State Bar exam. This guy is textbook full blown Aspie.

  29. October 8, 2012 2:46 pm

    CANDI HEY LOOKSI THERESA CHAIR ON A SWING AN SOME KINDA STATUES THAT LOOKI LIKE COCKS HOW BIZARE

    • Timothy permalink
      October 9, 2012 6:02 am

      Axgar and Candi found their way to Dummermount! I knew you wouldn’t let us down, Uncle C!

  30. Chainsaw permalink
    October 8, 2012 4:50 pm

    Well, honestly, he and Tavis should have better balanced marketing spin against expectation management. If you’re going to use words like “legendary” and phrases like “What the OSR has been waiting for,” you better be bringing the motherfucking shit, right? You’re supposed to deliver more than you promise, not the other way around.

    • Donkeyfucker permalink
      October 9, 2012 12:46 am

      Nah, you have to deliver more than you promise only if you have to sell the bitch. JMal got the cash up front. He just has to fart out some meaningless rooms for Dwimpledump and still owns 48 Grand.

      • October 9, 2012 4:03 am

        No doubt.
        Delivering less than promised is a common advertising sort of trick no?
        People who seek to build a business and who care about what they do deliver more than promised and do not have to rely on hype alone.

  31. Timothy permalink
    October 9, 2012 2:27 pm

    More strawman bullshit in defense of JimmieMal’s honour. First paragraph is classic, even claiming there is resurgence of interest in 2E railroad adventures – but no examples of this interest, of course. Not sure if this is Tavis or one of the other Tool Abides kids. Either way, totally indicative.

    http://muleabides.wordpress.com/2012/10/09/in-defense-of-the-megadungeon/

    • October 9, 2012 4:36 pm

      It’s interesting how the poster assumes attacks against Dwimmermount are an indictment of megadungeons when, in fact, the attacks are an indictment of mediocrity.

      That reminds me, I need to scratch up enough money to subscribe to Poag’s blog…

    • October 9, 2012 4:37 pm

      Got to love how this guy doesn’t get that the issue is not mega dungeons per se, but this particular kickstarted one. One that has seen delays and has not lived up to the hype.
      You’d think it would take less time to write up descriptions of empty rooms.
      But then again, most of the OSR blogging circle jerk crowd ignore the glaring blatant obvious fact that JMal prefers blogging to doing actual ‘work’. As in something someone paid him for.

      • October 13, 2012 1:45 pm

        James Maliszewski4:10 PM (edited)+2
        Belittling something I — or +Zak Smith or +James Raggi, for that matter — has [sic] done is a surefire way to brings eyes to low-traffic sites. 

  32. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    October 9, 2012 8:06 pm

    Why can’t we have theRPGsite Kent instead of YDIS Kunt Kent? I like theRPGsite Kent! That’s a Kent I can get behind (no homo)!

  33. October 11, 2012 6:41 am

    Empty rooms are fine as long as you don’t have to spend money on them. Just saying.

  34. Timothy permalink
    October 12, 2012 1:29 pm

    Ha! Now our hero Poag is backing up the Fool Abides boys by claiming that joethelawyer was attacking the concept of megadungeons, not just Dumbermount. He equivicates by saying “probably” and then quickly moves on, having made his specious claim. Then he defends Jmal’s use of 2,000 coppers even in a Rat horde. No illustrations of Rats shitting or boning orcs, though, so it is safe to look at.

    http://aldeboran.blogspot.com/2012/10/hordes-of-hoards.html

    That segment of the blOSR is in full retreat back into circle jerk, echo chamber territory.

    • October 12, 2012 2:05 pm

      I notice that Poag quotes YDIS in his blog header now.

      • Roger Moret permalink
        October 12, 2012 3:37 pm

        Well, we made him.

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