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Welcome to the new “Our Dungeons Are AWESOME!!!”

September 1, 2012

Hello! “Our Dungeons Are AWESOME!” is one of the YDIS rebrand names we are kicking around…… what do you think?

What a plesure it is to meet all you! I’ am very happy to bring news, notes, and fun things of the Autarch Games line of RPG games products to a new audience. Hopefully you know something of us…….. Adventurer Conquerer King was a big success an a proud game of ours, and of course we look forward to helping make Dwimmermont Mega-Dungeon a real thing!

In the coming days I will talk more of the coming days for Autarch, how you can be a part of the fun, new procudts, games, contests, prizes, and news. I am really happy to connect with this new audience and expand the Autarch brand of RPG entertainment into new corners of the hobby.

A quick announcement to begin………………………….. DWIMMERMOUNT UPDATE!!!! Sub-level 3A is complete, the “Penetratorium of the Pedomancer.” Visit the main download page at If you are logged into an Autarch account that has been set for Dwimmermount access, you’ll see all the Dwimmermount files available for download. If you’ve just registered for an Autarch account, it can take up to a day or so for us to confirm that you are a Kickstarter backer. You’ll be pleased to find several new monsters (Tickle Golems, Fanny Trolls, Youngling Diddlebuds, and more), a detailed heirarchy of the Pedomancer’s minions,  a draft map of the Penetratorium and the Hidden Sleepover Chamber of the Red-Hooded Marquis, new art by Kelvin Green, and more.

Next up is a peak at the supplemental material, a new NPC class unique to Dwimmermount. Please enjoy Level 3A and we’ll talk again soon.

Best, Tavis Allison

150 Comments leave one →
  1. I run with scissors permalink
    September 1, 2012 8:50 pm

    Hey you scam artist tell James to stop sniffing his farts and write his fucking product. Or does he have another sick family member?

  2. September 1, 2012 8:55 pm

    Travis, I have to admit I was nervous about this buyout wrecking the journalistic integrity of YDIS but now I’m excited. YDIS is dead, long live ODAA! Looking forward to being part of those cutting-edge wandering damage tables!

    • September 1, 2012 9:00 pm

      Oh hey, now that you actually intend to release Dwimmermount, does that make our plans to release multiple retro clones uncool??

      • Arneson's Spectre permalink
        September 2, 2012 8:52 am

        Its funny how everytime one of these OSR hacks cut and pastes their own retroclone, they immediately jump on the We Don’t Need Anymore Retroclones bandwagon, isn’t it?

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 2, 2012 9:33 am

        I think what we need to do is create a retro of a retro clone. I mean, let’s face it, where would LL be without OSRIC. We need to retro clone OSRIC to save it from the scam artists.

  3. September 2, 2012 7:30 am

    How about, “Our Dungeons Are ANTICIPATED”?

  4. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    September 2, 2012 8:45 am

    So one dull, dust filled 10×10 room every two weeks is the Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon schedule now? So we can expect this turd to dump in what, 2041? I thought JaMal implied Dimmerdouche was already written before he took the money.

    • September 2, 2012 8:59 am

      It was supposedly in layout eleven months ago. Don’t know what the holdup is.

      Dig that Kelvin Green art!

    • I run with scissors permalink
      September 2, 2012 9:37 am

      Fuck that I am writing my own retro of his fucking dungeon. Last night I knocked out a bunch of rooms:

      Room 1-14a — Dusty

      Room 1-15 — Dust, and a used condom

      Room 1-16 — Dust

      Room 1-17 — Dust, and some mouse tracks in the dust

      Room 1-18 — Dust, trap in the middle. First one in the room gets hit in the face with a used condom.

      Room 6-69 — The Chamber of Used Porn Stars. This star shaped room is only entered via the hole in the ceiling which lies directly above a pedestal with a tubular pink statue. The walls of the chamber is covered with frescos of various hag faced Trollopes in various states of undress. Seeing the frescoes a character must save vs magic with failure having them loose any desire to have sex for a number of days equal to Con.

      The statue upon closer examination is phallic in shape and is made from a almost flesh like substance. Removing the statue triggers a trap and the floor gives way dropping the unlucky character into the Pit of Unsexed Osers. The pit is populated by 15 STD Trollopes as well as their unlucky last victim a bespectacled man wearing a pumpkin head.

      And from Schizonomicon:

      Room 6-12. Chamber of USED CONDOMS.
      Through the dust there are USED CONDOMS here which float about in the corridors and rooms of the dungeons. The slightest touch will explode them, causing from 1 to 10 dice damage depending on the level they are on. These CONDOMS might (1 in 6) contain a gem.

      Look at that shit. Now I just need to summarize an old issue of Cosmopolitan, and I will be fucking as cool as Jimmy.

  5. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    September 2, 2012 8:51 am

    Well now we know why JaMal bailed without warning on his original Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon playtesters. After a couple of sessions, there was nowhere left for them to go! Maybe he’ll use the Shitstarter money to write an article about his thoughts on another old school game he never actually played back in the Eighties instead.

  6. I run with scissors permalink
    September 2, 2012 11:36 am

    Hey Tavis, do you still hold true to this:

    That might explain Dwimmerdustyscam

  7. Ritter permalink
    September 2, 2012 1:08 pm

    Ultimately, people deserve what they get for throwing money at someone who has a history of not delivering on projects. Petty Gods, anyone? Hell, other people wrote and illustrated that one for him. He didn’t even have to do anything other than take credit for it.

    Note the lack of posts at Grognardia now. Legitimate family crisis or no, my guess is he’s not going to post much anymore because he will be hiding from all the comments that will ask where Dumbermount is.

    • I run with scissors permalink
      September 2, 2012 2:03 pm

      I feel for Tavis a little he’s got left holding the bag. Still he avoids answering why he did not do his fucking due diligence.

      • September 2, 2012 2:09 pm

        Hello IRWS. I am happy to be aple to discuss your concerns. You have a valid viewpoint and I honor your perspective, which is one of thoughtful concern. I know you want a positive win-win outcome, just like everyone else. I hope you will bare with us, watch the progress on Dwimmermuont unfold, and hope for that day when ultimately the project is released, even if that day is sometime on the Year 2015. Thank you for your patience.



      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 2, 2012 2:14 pm

        Hey Tavis you’re still a scam artist. At least Raggi gives me a shit sandwich (you can tell by his covers) when he takes my money. You just take my money and try to talk nice. Fuck i should have given my money to a televangelist maybe I’d get a prayer. Or a naked woman

        Fuck you,


    • September 3, 2012 4:50 am

      Did Jmal take the coppers and run?

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 6:22 am

        It looks like it doesn’t it?

  8. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    September 2, 2012 3:42 pm

    Great work, Scissors. Reading your efforts of truth telling makes me feel like I did watching correspondents out in the field near firefights in Iraq years ago. Except this is more like they gave the journalist a rocket launcher, unlimited ammo, and a kick in the pants in the direction of the gunshots. You got the fuckin’ towelheads on the run, m’man. Don’t stop the music.

    • I run with scissors permalink
      September 2, 2012 4:28 pm

      Nah, I am just a backer, who is pissed off at the whole thing. Petty Gods should have been a big enough clue to this cluster fuck, but I went with it. Truth be told, even though it is going to be a mind numbing read, filled with one dusty room after another, I still really wanted to read this thing, and maybe run it. I’ll freely admit, that when Jim The Scam is on, he can write really well. Yet, fuck him.

      • Ritter permalink
        September 2, 2012 5:55 pm

        Ultimately, Jimmy doesn’t have a proven track record. Petty Gods proves that. And this has not been handled very professionally. Even if the crisis is legitimate, Jimmy could post openly to all his backers about this. Of course silence is going to make people start thinking they’ve been conned. I see this Tavis dude trying to do damage control to the best of his abilities, but I think it’s too late.

        When your project funds beyond the wildest dreams of avarice, it seems to me your job at that point becomes finishing that project. Period. It is no longer a hobby project. It is a job. You don’t have the luxury of becoming bored and letting it fade into vaporware as you could with something self-funded or community developed.

        IRWS, I’ve gotta give you credit for standing up for yourself where others have not.

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 6:24 am

        Thanks. I think the thing that gets me is the amateur hour of Tavis. How could you move forward without seeing a manuscript first? Now the sympathy is coming on the boards. I’m the one whose wrong. Idiots Tavis got alen. Jim the Scam took the money and ran.

      • September 4, 2012 5:35 pm

        I agree. JMAL is capable of excellent writing. In fact I think he would be better served by focusing on say maybe making some kind of OSR revival of Dragon Magazine instead of aping Greyhawk.
        His strengths lie in the former direction. I mean this particular comment as compliment to the man’s abilities.

  9. faserfag permalink
    September 2, 2012 6:43 pm

    It’s a common among these OSR darlings that they promise kewl supplements but their sheer laziness coupled with their quest for “perfection” produces nothing. It’s worse when they huckster in people to “help” and sit on it. Sad thing is when someone produces something that’s actually good (and offer it for free) it goes completely unnoticed.

    • I run with scissors permalink
      September 3, 2012 6:26 am

      The sad thing is people keep falling for it.

  10. I run with scissors permalink
    September 3, 2012 8:06 am

    Hey Tavis, it would be nice if you answered my fucking questions. You have time for the reach arounds with your psychophants, but you still refuse to answer:

    1. Did you do any due diliegnce before entering into the one way fucking you got from Jim The Scam?

    2. Did you have a fucking manuscript in hand before you went live with the scam?

    Also, your communication sucks.

    BTW, either you are the biggest patsy in history or just a dumb ass Timeline of communication:

    Launched: Mar 2, 2012

    Update 1 — 3/3/2012
    Update 2 — 3/3/2012
    Update 3 — 3/5/2012
    Update 4 — 3/7/2012
    Update 5 — 3/21/2012
    Update 6 — 3/21/2012
    Update 7 — 4/7/2012
    Update 8 — 4/8/2012
    Update 9 — 4/11/2012
    Update 10 — 4/13/2012
    Update 11 — 4/14/2012
    Update 12 — 4/14/2012
    Update 13 — 4/14/2012

    Funding ended: Apr 14, 2012

    Update 14 — 4/17/2012

    Update 15 — 4/27/2012
    Update 16 — 5/5/2012

    I am assuming sometime between 5/2 and 5/5 you paid Jim the Scam for the fucking.

    Update 17 — 6/4/2012

    The whore skipped your call:

    Update 18 — 6/24/2012

    The whore changed his number:

    Update 19 — 7/6/2012

    The whore took the money and ran.

    You start realizing you been had:

    Update 20 — 8/10/2012

    You trying to save face:

    Update 21 — 8/17/2012

    Your’re fucked:

    Update 22 — 8/24/2012
    Update 23 — 8/31/2012

    Fuck man, I know we are gamers and all, but we are suppose to be the mother fucking tits when it comes to smarts. Once again gamers live up to the old canard, show them a boob, and they do not know what to do with it.


    • September 3, 2012 8:27 am

      Okay, thank you IRWS for your comments. I honor your feelings. I cant go point-by point regarding your questions because I have a hotdog eating contest to attend and I am already running late, but let me say Autarch does realize that some delays from James have been unavoidable. We take him at his word that unforeseen circumstances have removed his ability to write in a timely fashion. He emailed us briefly to describe how one day he turned on the television and saw a news report that the mothers of several children borne out of wedlock were eligible for additional welfare support, and this upset him so much that he could not even turn on his computer for a week. Another time he was rendered inert for 36 hours because a black cat walked widdershins his shadow on the Sabbath. We take at face value that these events truly effected him and are unavoidable we told him to get some rest and reread as many issues of Little Wars as it took to return him to functioning.

      I would like to say that we are brainstoring ways to make this delay up to our subscribers, who our most valuable resource. Whether we list your names on our webpage with a gold star next to them or give you a free goodie with your order like a piece of blank graph paper or maybe a golf pencil to fill out your character sheet, I don’t know………………. but some sweet extras are coming!!!!!

      Thank you again for your supprot and we are glad that your customerhood makes you a part of our loving Autarch games family. Off to eat some hotsogs, happy holiday weekend everyone!!

      Fondest regards, T.A.

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 8:31 am

        OH man, I hope Jim the Scam was the best fuck of your life, because dude he fucked you so bad you do not even realize how fucked you are.

        Enjoy the hotdogs, because judging from your interactions with Jim the Scam, you love being dicked.

      • September 3, 2012 12:51 pm

        Hmmm… Seems James has plenty of time to write about swipes and old articles from magazines… his blog postings keep on coming….

      • September 3, 2012 1:34 pm

        “I would like to say that we are brainstoring ways to make this delay up to our subscribers, who our most valuable resource. Whether we list your names on our webpage with a gold star next to them or give you a free goodie with your order like a piece of blank graph paper or maybe a golf pencil to fill out your character sheet, I don’t know………………. but some sweet extras are coming!!!!!”

        Thanks God! I lost the pencil that came with my copy of Flame Princeling Thing™.
        I think a piece of completely blank paper instead of those messing lines, would be better. Come to think of it, a single sheet of one ply toilet paper and a golf pencil get me so excited…

    • September 3, 2012 8:40 am

      Sorry, Tavis but the whole “oh, we are but gamerz, all our projects are for LOVE and we are only a small amateur business” kool-aid your loyal fans are drinking went out the window when this Kickstarter raised the gross annual income of a typical American family. (Can’t address Canada.)

      You became a business then. This is the big show. This is a job.

      Granted, by my calculations it was also more money than your writer had earned in his entire career (200,000 words a year @ $0.035 American = $7,000) so it’s understandable if he jumped the reservation with the mad lotto winnings.

      But this is a Kickstarter by Autarch so we hold you guys to a higher standard.

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 8:48 am

        No it is Grognardia Games’ kickstarter. Just ignore all the Autarch branding all over the fucking thing. 🙂

      • September 3, 2012 8:49 am

        And while I’m on the soapbox, does it squick anybody else’s family values here on Your Dungeon is Su–awesome that too many American families earn that $50,000 a year because mom is out there hustling god knows what while hubby, and I quote, is playing in George Lucas’ “sandbox,” chillin’ in front of teletubbies reruns and “playing with Little People” in his bed clothes?

        Because old school gaming means traditional families, strict gender roles and non-Protestant weddings, by my beard! More high-paying Microsoft jobs for the FATHERS! THE MAN’S PLACE IS GETTING DRUNK OUTSIDE THE HOME!

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 8:54 am

        As long as you do not produce a movie about a cooking rat, everything is ok.

        You know, Jim the Scam’s whole life is a scam. He found woman who bought his line that he’s a “writer.” Mother fucker.

      • September 3, 2012 9:00 am


      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 9:01 am

        Oh, btw, how’s this for family values:

        Guess who wrote that one?

        Go on, I dare you…

      • September 3, 2012 9:14 am

        That’s where it is! I remembered he had at least one spinoff “family values” blog when he was between White Wolf and Grognardia but thought he took it down!


        The Pope on being “deeply influenced by the ideas of the losing side of the Civil War” [!] …

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 9:18 am

        I love how his daughter burst out in tears when she has to go outside in the snow. I wonder if Jim the Scam bursts into tears when he has to, you know, write his fucking Dwimmerdust?

        As for the spinoff, yeah, that is some “fun” reading.

        Tavis still has not answered my fucking questions yet about the timeline and manuscript. I am beginning to think they are too embarrassed to admit they’re fucked.

      • September 3, 2012 9:35 am

        I think Tavis is fucked but soldiering on to preserve his brand and salvage something for the backers.

        A light-hearted missive from our friend while New Orleans was drowning:

      • Loinclout permalink
        September 3, 2012 10:01 am

        All these links are busted… wait now they’re working 🙂

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 10:23 am

        The sad thing Schiz, I really do not think Tavis thinks he’s fucked. I really think he thinks if he wishes hard enough it will all get better. I mean come on:


      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 10:54 am

        I cannot stop laughing with this one:

    • September 3, 2012 12:03 pm

      That update calendar kind of kicks the “you were signing on to be part of the Dwimmermount Experience” theory in the grognads, don’t it?

      If it was ever really about cooperative development, then why can I hear the crickets for those first crucial SIX WEEKS after the Kickstarter wrapped?

      Shouldn’t that have been the busy window when the backers were getting to meet-and-greet and seeing that legendary dungeon firm up from the notes?

      And if not, when were they planning on delivering that rich immersive experience? The PDF was supposedly going to be set in stone by June anyway, so June is not the time when you should be waking up and going, OMG I FORGOT TO SHARE THE EXPERIENCE WITH TEH FANZ.

      Bah. Hey though, a note of fun! Upstanding family values type sings the praises of cinematic exploration of neighborhood crooks:

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 12:25 pm

        That’s what’s gets me. Tavis never answers the question — did they even ave a manuscript in hand before they launched? My ass this is not a scam.

      • September 3, 2012 12:59 pm

        SCHIZONOMICON thinks he’s basically said there is no manuscript, it doesn’t matter anyway because we never promised you a manuscript and besides, the writer loaned out everything below Level 7 anyway so there aren’t even any notes.

        So yeah, the goal posts may be “evolving” as far as the Autarch side goes, but SCHIZONOMICON welcomes correction from this site’s corporate overlords.

        Meanwhile my own due diligence continues.

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 1:41 pm

        Yeah the loaning out of notes. That is so good. I think Tavis lended out his ass for the fucking Jim the Scam gave him.

        I am baffled with how Tavis let this happen to himself. Strike that I know. He’s a fucking gamer. Gamers think its cool to play adult and start a publishing company. But then when works required well fuck it what should I do?

      • September 3, 2012 1:57 pm

        How does the line go, “I didn’t play Dungeons & Dragons for years and not learn something about how to pretend to be courageous?”

        Hey James getting CLOSE to that political blog you ran in 2004-5. SCHIZONOMICON can taste the links all around, all those scattered comments. Not ubi-petrus, the one before that. Remember? Good times!

      • September 3, 2012 2:10 pm

        Ah yes. “neoconjames.” That thing actually ran a long time, didn’t it? SCHIZONOMICON doesn’t really care who a naturaliZed Canadian votes for but the Web remembers.

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 2:11 pm

        I didn’t know there was a political blog. Oh man is that going to be fun.

        I wonder if it will be like this?

  11. Ritter permalink
    September 3, 2012 1:06 pm

    And Jimmy’s back, posting the ever timely “news” that art from the original D&D was swiped from comic books. Good thing he has so much free time now that Dwimmermount is in the can to go back to posting important articles on the history of gaming.

    • I run with scissors permalink
      September 3, 2012 1:34 pm

      Yeah and he blocked my comment. Coward

      • Ritter permalink
        September 3, 2012 4:54 pm

        St. James the Lesser does not brook dissent. You either fawn over his boring non-content or you hold your tongue. It takes a lot of hubris to post lots of blather about nothing when you’ve remained silent about the paid project you’re supposed to be working on.

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 4:55 pm

        Hey he posted a review. Glad to see he’s busy.

    • September 3, 2012 1:37 pm

      The guy is good at rewriting other people’s work and pointing out shit he has already pointed out.

      Betcha he gives us a review of a review from Dragon #81.

      No time to randomly generate Dimmermount- Jimmy can’t be bothered to touch the dice and consult the tables in the back of DMG.

      Hey did he pay for the art he ‘commissioned’?

  12. Chainsaw permalink
    September 3, 2012 2:09 pm

    I loaned all my notes to Gygax and Arneson back in late 60s… fuck they got it all!

    • I run with scissors permalink
      September 3, 2012 2:12 pm

      Yeah, well I leant my notebooks to Lucas and he made Star Wars. Fucker. He still owes me $3.50 as well

      • Chainsaw permalink
        September 3, 2012 2:15 pm

        No wonder episodes 1,2,3 and 6 sucked so bad. He made those on his own, eh? All makes sense now.

      • I run with scissors permalink
        September 3, 2012 2:37 pm

        Yeah. I think Jim the Scam was going to lend him his notebooks but Jim forgot he leant them to someone else

  13. September 3, 2012 5:14 pm

    Hey Tavis, feel free to use anything from Dwimmerdust ( I mean Jim The Scam is so busy, he might need some ideas.

    • September 4, 2012 7:26 am

      Can we reconstruct the EPIC sweep of Dwimmermount as it was once played in the legendary “Toronto message board campaign” back in the glory days of the OSR?

      There are scattered clues and cryptic descriptions. Maybe the archivists will be able to glean more from the original notes.

      This is a call to ACTION for an all new old school — a NOSR — to form and capture the farts of the glorious first wave to whiff and maybe fan into an immortal flame!


      • September 4, 2012 7:37 am

        Fuck yeah! We need to Retro the Retro. I am working on a post about that right now. I want to go back to the tabula rasa of the Old School Bowl Movement. Dwimmerdust will live in the rule set that best emulates it, well until someone comes along and gives me a free copy of another rulebook.

        Fuck, I already have a map of Level 1 up and done. In the span of 48 hours, I’ve dome more work than Jim The Scam has done.

  14. September 3, 2012 5:34 pm


  15. September 3, 2012 7:12 pm


    • kent permalink
      September 3, 2012 7:43 pm

      I think he is saying that when he looks in his shaving mirror with his good eye, for some reason all he can see is his own ass.

  16. September 3, 2012 7:12 pm

    Jim has time to write yet another blog entry- 2 in 1 day!

  17. September 3, 2012 7:46 pm

    This is treasure:

    “My understanding from talking to James was that the wandering monster tables are something he had written up long ago but hadn’t typed up yet. I don’t think that that original writeup is in the manuscript scans we have so far, and will push to include it as well as part of the first bonus goal.”

    Amazing how powerful denial is. Jimbo has wandering monster charts written, but has not time to type them up and email ’em over. No time to type some charts up from hand written versions of the very same charts. No time for that but plenty of time to post to the blog.

    • September 3, 2012 8:01 pm


      • kent permalink
        September 3, 2012 9:23 pm

        I think he said dreaming about other guys’ girlfriends makes him lust after his neighbor’s dog (male).

    • September 3, 2012 8:36 pm

      My favorite is that te notes for level 7 is with his friend who lives in another town.

      I better you a dollar Jim te Scam has even bluffing his way through the dungeon write ups.

      Still no answers.

      • September 4, 2012 9:26 am

        Why doesn’t he just rip off the descriptions from the multitude of modules found within the pages of all of them old Dragon Magazines he likes to write about?

        The maps look like the Dungeon Geomorphs, or something one could find with very little web searching.

      • September 4, 2012 9:29 am

        Because my friend, that would require work. It is easier to write about games, than it is to create a game.

      • September 4, 2012 11:31 am

        Jimbo should just drop the pretense of being any sort of legit game designer and admit to what he is- a dude who likes to blog about rpg nostalgia.
        If he wants to sell something, how about a book version of his various postings on… oh wait, someone else owns all that art….

  18. kent permalink
    September 3, 2012 8:00 pm

    The only thing that needs to be said about JMal is that he is a religious nut.

    JewZak is a nut of a different pickle. He is yet another loud mouth who is terrified to engage in any kind of dialogue with me on his blog-retreat because he knows I can make him seem dumb in front of his fans.

    • Ritter permalink
      September 3, 2012 10:01 pm

      How did these blowhards and losers get “fans” in the first place?

      • September 4, 2012 5:09 am

        Losers and blowhards smell thier wn. You ever read their comment sections. The fans are just like them

      • September 9, 2012 1:10 am

        Yep, like attracts like. How else do you think this place keeps going?

  19. donkeyfucker permalink
    September 4, 2012 2:46 am

    Hey, did you know that in this update:
    Richard Iorio II, the partner for most of his RPG products from Rogue Games bailed out as backer?
    Shit; now I am out too.

    • September 4, 2012 6:27 am

      I tried emailing him and all he said was no comment. So I tried asking about why he’s no longer working with that fucker Jim the Scam. Again, he said no comment. I bet there is something fucking more there, but Richard is not joining in on the bashing.

      I did ask him about (I was going to use part of it for Dwimmerdust [really rub salt in the wound]) and he did say, that Megadungeon was James’. All Rogue Games did was host it. Once James “left” Rogue Games took it down. Jim the Scam was suppose to host it.

      What in the fuck is going on? It almost looks like Jim the Scam was seeking a way to leave the hobby, and thought he would take with him a nice payday “Thank You” gift.


  20. Toddowa permalink
    September 4, 2012 2:55 am

    any of you gents care to buy a wooden mustache? or perhaps some vanilla beans soaked in rum? welcome to the craft fair, little boy, did you know there’s a puppet show under my kilt? pop in and have a look, but don’t tell mommy, hah hah, this show is for kids only.

  21. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    September 4, 2012 6:19 am

    Why is Kent talking to himself? I had no idea that getting your fudge packed regularly causes schizophrenia and split personality disorder. Sad to have to see him go back and forth with his Uncle Carbuncle personality like that. Hang in there, Dr. Jekyll, a nurse will be along with your meds shortly.
    In other news, JaMal is apparently catching up on his backlog of work. He finally got that review of Ares Magazine #14 from Spring 1983 done. Kudos to his former business partner for dumping Thousand Turds and pulling out of Dimmerdouche Shitstarter.

    • September 4, 2012 6:29 am

      You ever go to GenCon? That Rogue Games booth was crazy. No sign of Jim the Scam anywhere. I wonder if others will pull out of the scam? I’m not I am having more fun this way then I would if I ran that turd fest.

    • kent permalink
      September 4, 2012 10:59 am

      I think A. Spectre Clousseau has the deductive faculty of his grandmother’s favourite astrologer.

  22. Donkeyfucker permalink
    September 4, 2012 7:38 am

    Ok, I sent Tavis an email. Told him I dod not think that Dwimmerdump will ever see the light of the day and that I want my money back.
    Just got it on Paypal from JimScams email.
    So I am refunded and Dwimmerdunk can fuck itself now!

  23. Loinclout permalink
    September 4, 2012 7:57 am

    • Timothy permalink
      September 4, 2012 8:29 am

      Those are the most boring maps I have ever seen.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 4, 2012 4:09 pm

      Well, at least the dust filled rooms on those maps will be authentic after they sit around for a few years waiting for Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon to finally drop. And Jesus Mother Fucking Christ, for $50K, you should probably hire a real cartographer with professional skills and software tools and not some Asperger huckleberry working in Microsoft Paint.

  24. September 4, 2012 12:05 pm


    • kent permalink
      September 4, 2012 4:23 pm

      I think he said he likes to read my blog with his noonday cucumber sandwich and lemon tea (the lemon masks the sedative)

      • September 4, 2012 4:32 pm

        Kent, are you running these through some kind of auto translator? If so contact me off-list. Tavis is looking for a way to convert the YDIS archives into something more “family friendly,” something about making sure middle-age beards can share the “hobby” with small impressionable children.

        Also does it work in reverse so for example I could type in “noonday cucumber sandwich” and get “SHAKESPEARI AN BAD CUNT SMELLS” back out? This is more for me.

      • kent permalink
        September 4, 2012 6:13 pm

        unclecarbuncle and I have an empathic understanding that all tramps share.

  25. Loinclout permalink
    September 4, 2012 12:38 pm

    I’ll be damned… Maliszewski is cranking out two-a-days on the blog, instead of working on Dwimmermount. It’s like he’s laughing in his supporters’ faces! By way of comparison, Jeff Rients has essentially put his blog on hold while he busts his ass on the Skymother thing.

    • September 4, 2012 12:54 pm

      He’s a turd isn’t he?

    • September 5, 2012 4:01 am

      All Mal has to do is open up his old Dragon Magazine issues from the CD and copy and paste the room descriptions from the numerous modules found therein.
      Or he could simply do what he has probably already done. Make liberal use of the DMG.

      Instead of buying into someone else’s attempt at Greyhawk, why not just make it up for oneself, since the truth about the megadungeon is that it was never meant to be published and is an organic thing. I believe Jimmy himself use to be of the same opinion.

      I’d also point out that there are plenty of free megadungeons available online.
      And I would think reading the various OSR blogs enough ‘inspiration’ for most.

    • Ritter permalink
      September 5, 2012 7:01 pm

      Grognardia’s really busy with the pointlessness these days. I think he is laughing at the Dwimmermount backers. There’s no other explanation. It is so unprofessional and socially inept, but why should that surprise me?

      “Yeah, I know I’m supposed to be working on Dwimmermount, but I think I’ll just sit here on a pile of money and write a review of the lint that I found in my copy of Dragon Magazine #75.”

      Or maybe he tithed the money to the Church.

  26. September 4, 2012 12:53 pm

    I had to create a fucking new account at Autarch. My response to Tavis’ fucking new questions. Still won’t answer my fucking questions:

  27. kent permalink
    September 4, 2012 4:13 pm

    I don’t see the point in giving this guy Tavis a hard time. He’s making you look rabid while honing his customer care skills at the same time. As he is such a friendly guy you should have been his buddy and worked on the strange and irresponsible public silence of JMal about the delay.

    I don’t have anything in common with someone who backed Dwimmermount, who wanted such a thing because it might inspire them and so I don’t hold any sympathy for them however the delay plays out.

    • September 4, 2012 7:52 pm

      Nah I went for he throat because tree was blood in the water. Jim the Scam should be called out. These scam artist cut and paste designers need to be called out

  28. kent permalink
    September 4, 2012 4:19 pm

    This is more interesting:

    My three word reaction:

    Condescending Cheery Guilt.

    • September 4, 2012 7:50 pm

      Christ. I don’t know what to say. What a dick.

      Also is it me or that girl sucking a die give off a STD vibe?

  29. jimmy permalink
    September 4, 2012 4:20 pm

    I run with scissors….. you want your money back your best bet is to call the credit card company and get a charge back. say the product is delayed you contacted the seller he said he has no interested in fulfilling the project and will not give you a refund NOT ONLY will you get your money back he will get a charge back fee against his account. Then when your money is return you can bad mouth him on the kickstarter forum and tell everyone else to do this as well.

  30. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    September 4, 2012 6:11 pm

    Many nobodies in the OSR are casualties of both the overhyped success of Dwimmermount, and also Zak telling everybody that falls for his huckster shit that they should publish all their bottom of the barrel ideas and materials. None of them seem to have caught on, like even the doltish Christian did with his “doings,” that you just need to hammer out a regular blog (good content or not), do whatever is necessary to build a following (in Jamals case start out by posting 4 times a day; in Christians case join every blog in the OSR so they pay you back; or fuck on camera in an obscure porn years ago and continue milking that association to unblown dorks long after the experation date), and then hawk your crap gaming item to your eager and idiotic faithful.

    Case in point. “Bloodymage,” global moderator for that think tank Dragonsfoot forums. This deluded sap even has a page for a convention that has yet to even get in planning stages beyond what he wants to charge at the door. But check this link and go down the page a bit and see him cry about nobody coming to his games and other drama. This poor schmuck is desperate to be known as a designer and game company man, even going so far to do posts on DF asking how the hell to make it happen. It’s sad, really, the delusion of some broke old gamers out there. They see these other dudes gather masses to them to support their little dreams of game publishing in this little niche hobby, so they start thinking they will get WOTC jobs and maybe even game with and bang low end sex worker skanks. Really a shame.

    • Not the One Formerly Known as YDIS permalink
      September 4, 2012 6:45 pm

      Hahaha, holy fuck that is PRICELESS!!! Him talking to himself among 800+ botspam sex club solicitations that he thinks are legit commenters. I like this guy, he’s a comer…!

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 4, 2012 7:36 pm

      Oh my fucking God and here I thought Kent was batshitcrazy for talking to himself at YDIS!!!! That retard’s blog comment section is a spam collector yet he keeps all the spam posts up to delude himself that he has a popular blog in the OSR Turdosphere! The only thing sadder than an OSR retroturd cut and paster is a fucking retarded wannabe retroturd cut and paster!!! Jesus Christ sucking on JaMal’s pimply dick that shit was funny!

    • kent permalink
      September 4, 2012 7:39 pm

      My eyebrows being raised to their fullest extent have become stuck.

      Bloodymage seems to be caught up in some kind of inversion of the Turing Test where artificial intelligences seek to determine which among them is fake, that is, a human.

      At one point Bloodymage, in a conversation with spam, says …
      >>One of the comments asked if I have a spam blocker. Yes I do, but I police myself, as well.<<
      The the hive spam mind asked Bloodymage if he was the kind of spam that would seek to block itself (low self esteem). 'Belt and Braces' replied BM – he has an autoreflexive spam filter as well as being fully conscious of his tendency to spam his own blog.

      Mind upon mind, deep.

    • September 4, 2012 7:45 pm

      You know I’m done with Tavis. He’ll never newer my questions. The no answers speak loud enough. It s obvious Jim screwed him (orry don’t want to cuss in case I anger someone). I should not be stunned by the amateur hour over there but I am.

    • September 4, 2012 8:02 pm

      This takes the cake:

      vacuum cleaner reviews on April 6, 2012 at 7:07 am said:
      I think other web-site proprietors should take this site as an model, very clean and great user friendly style and design, let alone the content. You’re an expert in this topic!

      • September 4, 2012 8:18 pm

        If DWIMMERDUST can turn every one of those spam comments into a wandering monster and each of the autarch quislings into a level boss SCHIZONOMICON will back it at least Beholder level.

      • September 4, 2012 8:26 pm

        Now you’re really trying to egg me on. 😉

        I’m going to build it out of spite.

      • Ritter permalink
        September 4, 2012 10:04 pm

        Your hate has made you strong!

      • September 5, 2012 6:05 am

        Yup. Challenge accepted. 🙂

    • September 5, 2012 3:53 am

      You know maybe some of these self proclaimed publishers might just want to learn a thing or two about the publishing. The Long Dead Secret module doesn’t even rise to the level of the freely available material found on Dragonsfoot.

    • September 9, 2012 10:19 am

      That blog is VulcanStev-level depressing 😦 What the fuck

  31. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    September 4, 2012 8:19 pm

    Check this out:

    Mark my words – now all the she-males and tranny circus freaks at Big Purple Dildo RPGNet are going to start committing mass murder at GenCon so they can get free sex changes on the taxpayer’s dime.

  32. Ritter permalink
    September 4, 2012 9:59 pm

    Given all the Dwimmermount Epic Fail action that’s going on, I can’t believe that Jimmy is still posting pointless crap. A bunch of scans from the French edition of Basic D&D? Srsly? Timely and informative. He’s like Nero fiddling while Rome burns. Is he really that ignorant of all that’s going on surrounding his much hyped project, or is it just some kind of big middle finger to all the people he’s ripped off? I can’t tell. I mean, if you were gonna take the money and run, you’d think he wouldn’t be posting thirty year old pictures of an ours-hiboux and the imitateur parfait (Ooh la frickin’ la, it’s French! How classy and educated-like Jimmy is!)

    I’ve gotta say, I used to enjoy some of the articles on Grognardia like three, four years ago. He is so out of whatever few ideas he once had that it’s really pathetic in an entertaining kind of way. I visit the blog nowadays to see what bottom of the barrel topic he’s pimping today.

    • September 5, 2012 3:48 am

      Jim must have run out of things to write about and so instead he simply regurgitates his own previous blog posts.

  33. Asparagus permalink
    September 5, 2012 2:03 am

    Oh man, Bloodymage is so deluded.

    No one buys the crap he has from his store already, but he wants to put on staff who must “invest” their own money into his failure.

    I like the way he has no income or product worth a damn yet has a “guy” for every aspect of his business.

    I have also never seen a bunch for worse names for rpg products. Ever.

    • kent permalink
      September 5, 2012 5:38 am

      >>The investment is $1000 and it can be made in one payment, two, four or five.<>the company doesn’t own any one, all are free to pursue their individual careers as long as deadlines are met personally<<

      This has the flavour of a Vance episode. Two one foot tall gremlins with eight foot long pitchforks will supervise each partner's freedom. Bloodymage may visit you in your place of work, fight your boss and shout about monster dreams.

      • kent permalink
        September 5, 2012 5:44 am

        Two quotes got garbled there – never use the word gr*ml*ns.

        He goes to the trouble of specifying he won’t accept payment in *three* lots but 1,2.4 and 5 are ok.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      September 5, 2012 6:19 am

      I’m just glad that after the change from YDIS to ODAA, we can still point at retards and laugh.

    • Not the One Formerly Known as YDIS permalink
      September 5, 2012 7:45 am

      And of course all the ninnies on DF are too silly to point out the obvious: that this man is insane and performing a public clown show. Can someone get on there and state the obvious, I forgot my DF login info long ago. It would be interesting to see the mode in which he defends himself — I’m guessing rage at the presumption of someone telling him on this planet the sky is blue, which would accelerate for my enjoyment the rate at which this clown capers and juggles.

  34. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    September 5, 2012 11:35 am

    Somebody at least offer to run his booth at Aethercon. You have to have experience running a pretend booth at an invisible con though.

    I’m wondering if the folks at Autistarch would have any interest in sponsering his pretend company on Kickstarter? Seem pretty low maint.

  35. kent permalink
    September 5, 2012 4:19 pm

    Here’s a cheeky chappy – someone I used to have laffs with on Dragonsfoot before it became excruciatingly boring – taking Geoffrey to task for one of his regular predictable pointless fawning reviews. In this case the god that crawls …

    Geoffrey is so repetitive and limited in his interests I wonder if he isn’t some kind of robot.


    [Sauna] — Err… Just a question. Is it really wise for someone who works for Greasy Jim to make “reviews” of his stuff?

    [Geoffrey] — I don’t work for James. He publishes two of my books, and we split the profits. Whether or not any of the books he writes makes any money doesn’t affect me in the slightest.

    [Sauna] — Well, the exact details of the deal are quite irrelevant. It just strikes me as… dishonest and marketey and snakeoilsalesmanlike for you, a guy who will benefit at least indirectly (via promotion of the LotFP brand) to give glowing praise for Greasy Jim’s stuff.

    You praise the Monolith (which I have read otherwhere is an utterly horrible piece of railroading with hardly any input by the players possible, they just need to hang to their hats and “enjoy” the ride (not that there is anything wrong with enjoying the ride, if that’s your cup of tea)) and people (possibly) go to Greasy Jim’s webstore and buy it. Notice your books, possibly buy them also. Promotion at its finest. You have at least a minor vested interest in the whole LotFP brand, thus you reviewing stuff under the brand is bit bad.

    Anyway, just wanted to make the point. I don’t wanna start any big disagreements here in the Reviews section, so I’ll just bow out of the discussion (for now)

    [LOTFP] — The PCs will have effects sprung on them that they can’t do much about, but the adventure doesn’t dictate where they go or what they do. (quite the opposite, go anywhere do anything is baked right into the core of the thing)

    ======out of sequence======
    [Mad as a hatter Geoffrey] — I thoroughly disagree with the assertion that this module is a railroad. I don’t see that at all. Instead, I see James being the good referee described in the Gygax quote above, supplying the players with “many ways to distract an expedition, many things to draw attention”. As Gary wrote, “Ignore them if at all possible.”

    I don’t see the module as a screw-job at all. Anyone who gets sucked into it walked right up and asked for it.

    [Sauna] — Err…

    Like said, I haven’t read the module, but you seem to be saying that it’s only a railroad when the players choose to take part in encounters. An exhibition of railroaded viginettes isn’t really different from a full blown railroad in anything but the topmost layer. (and yes, I know about the endgame, I read spoilerses, but talking of the earlier encounters).

    Oh well, anyway, not an adventure I will ever read or play, I just wanted to make the comment about Geoff’s vested interest in the LotFP “brand” and if he should “review” the stuff.

  36. kent permalink
    September 5, 2012 4:26 pm

    [Batshit Hatshit craaaazzzyy Geoffrey] — when I received my print copy I gave it a careful reading. I just don’t see a railroad at all. One might as well accuse a 10′ pit trap of being a railroad: “That’s no fair! Once I step on the trapdoor, I have no choice but to fall 10′ and take 1d6 damage. Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the player agency? What choice do I have but to fall and take the damage (without even a saving throw)? Can’t I even walk down the damn hallway without this sort of thing happening?”


    I am going to look over Carcosa again to see if there is anything there other than extraction and recasting from lovecraft and ca smith because disappointingly Geoffrey has developed into one of the dumbest guys of a very dumb lot.

    • kent permalink
      September 5, 2012 4:41 pm

      More here on the second page


      The likelihood that osr dimwits might not recognize their own blind loyalty and backscratching is WORSE as far as Im concerned because mental illness is MORE DANGEROUS than cynicism if it goes untreated.

      When I look around this whole osr, and I make no exceptions, I see giddiness, immaturity, stupidity coupled with vanity, stupidity coupled with aggression, stupidity coupled with inverse snobbery, unemployment, depression, insanity. What a sick fucking game.

      • Aos permalink
        September 5, 2012 7:07 pm

        It was fun at first, but it’s certainly gotten to be a bit ugly now. Honestly, though, I think that I’d expand that statement to cover my entire experience with the online RPG scene.

      • September 5, 2012 7:15 pm

        Not all is bad. If anything this experience made me post here. I actually like this place.

  37. September 5, 2012 6:04 pm

    I see even if you as, Tavis nice nd donor swear he still refuses to answer questions. Tomorrow will be a week since the last update lets see what he might say? My bet is he’ll say nothing.

    Also it strikes me as odd no one else is talking about ths fail.

    Wait a minute: fuck.

    Just in case those ninnies are reading

    • September 5, 2012 6:27 pm


    • Aos permalink
      September 5, 2012 7:09 pm

      There has been some talk on g+ about it, Scissors.

    • Donkeyfucker permalink
      September 6, 2012 12:13 am

      I am offended by you using other words besides swear words!

  38. Aos permalink
    September 5, 2012 7:21 pm

    There may be, I’m not reading or posting at either site right now.

  39. September 5, 2012 8:56 pm

    Will the new supplement include support for the Half-Faggot/ Panhandler multiclass? I have four or five half-a-fags ready to beg giant spiders for sandwiches, but not without J-Mal’s express written consent.

  40. Timothy permalink
    September 6, 2012 5:59 am

    Kent, thanks for posting that thread. You are absolutely right about Geoffy being the dumbest of all the OSR flagwavers. The mindless propoganda that he and faggi spew is amazing. Denying that a railroad is a railroad – Jesus they are fucking stupid.

    And what great marketing for the module – “You should avoid it.”

    If R4 had any balls he would put that on his blog.

  41. September 6, 2012 6:19 am

    Seems JMal is running out of nostalgia steam.. or is he?
    Today’s post:
    the use of inches and feet in Holmes.
    The treasures he finds…

    • Ritter permalink
      September 6, 2012 8:00 am

      So very insightful, isn’t it? And yet people still comment in the echo chamber. I wonder how many of the commenters are people who’ve been Dwimmermounted.

      I think the next topic he should cover is the differences in paper stock used for printings of Holmes and Moldvay.

      • September 6, 2012 9:22 am

        Is it me, but has the number of comments he has gotten have dropped off as of late? I wonder how many he is blocking on a regular basis?

        Also, that fucking blog was mind numbing dull to read most days, but now it has gotten even more so.

      • Ritter permalink
        September 6, 2012 9:02 pm

        Yet ironically, he probably thinks of himself as imaginative. Seriously. Reading his “insights” makes me question my enjoyment of the hobby.

  42. Ritter permalink
    September 6, 2012 9:03 pm

    And yes, the comments have dropped off. Either its a collective “fuck you” from the readers he duped, or most of the comments are about his Epic Fail and he’s removing those he finds disagreeable.

    • September 9, 2012 10:34 am

      Blog comments, and blog activity in general, have dropped off because of G+. Most of the bloggers post stuff and do their gaming on G+ now, and most of the commenters (who are also bloggers) just talk about it there.

      That may not apply to Grognardia, which got a lot more crossover sperglords from, dragonsfoot, and similar shitholes.

      It clearly doesn’t apply here, the one place in the OSR blogosphere that consistently gets triple digits’ worth of comments. Weird.

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