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Some King’s Kent comment thread

August 7, 2012

Kent is closing down comments, so I’ll open them back up here. If you have questions or comments about Kent, Kent’s Aione megadungeon, his High Wilds setting, his fondness for wearing antique ladies apparel and big black butts, or anything pertaining to things Kentish, please post them here. Virulently offensive speculation regarding Irishmen in general is welcome. The stupider and more vile your comments, the better. Eventually my hope is that a Google search for “Kent blog” or “Some King’s Kent” returns this thread as the first result.

 

47 Comments leave one →
  1. August 7, 2012 1:33 pm

    …someone actually reads that shitty Kent blog? He’s never really posted that much, so how does anyone even know anything about his garbage? When I got into the gaming blogosphere, that blog was one of many that I passed over as trash. This is the first time I’ve even thought about that blog in two years. The guy has balls of steel to cut off comments, if he thinks he’s relevant.

  2. August 7, 2012 1:44 pm

    Kent is a philistine. His dismissal of Runequest with a grade of ‘B’ and a comment of ‘visceral’ demonstrates his (lack of) discernment. While occasionally clever, his attempts at communicating ideas are bizarre and gauche. Is English his first language?

    Also, he misspelled Nifft the Lean. I am annoyed by that.

  3. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    August 7, 2012 4:34 pm

    I think he should start a fanzine. It would probably be shit, but that obviously doesn’t stop anyone from doing them, and even buying them. It’s the best, if not easiest (you need to put time and money into it), way to get some attention from the OSR.

  4. Zed permalink
    August 7, 2012 6:28 pm

    Kent doesn’t have any ideas or produce anything actually useful to put in a ‘zine, hence no-one giving enough of a shit to comment on the pretentious, drunken (obviously) dribblings of his blog in the first place.

    Can you imagine his first editorial, it would be his usual high handed critique of someone else which actually ends up pointing out his own good taste & a tortured, misunderstood reference to an author he thinks is obscure enough to impress,

    All I can say is bravo humanity for pissing Kent off enough for him to take the bizarre counter-measure of disabling comments so no-one can not comment on his blog anymore.

  5. Roger Moret permalink
    August 8, 2012 6:32 am

    Kent is that drunken Irish (I know, I know, redundant) guy you meet at a party of bi-curious college professors that can’t stop cornering you and along with his brew breath (which also stinks of rotten teeth) spews out the most outlandish pseudo-intellectual crap (“Obviously, Anne Perry’s mysteries are far superior to anything Chandler or Hammett could ever THINK of writing due to her transmorgiphiacal Victorian setting and Freudian issues of father love”) and regales you with his vacations to gay nude beaches that you have no interest of visiting. Basically, a mick blowhard that won’t actually fight when he’s drunk and told hes full of shit but instead pouts and locks himself in the bathroom, to furious wank off to his own red faced, blowsy reflection (leaving the spunk all over the sink for the party’s host to clean off, of course).

    It’s like he’s trying to be a junior Alexisass Tao Von Dao but isn’t QUITE pretentious enough or full of bravado to pull it off, two people in the world as full of ass-sperm and deluded self-importance as that would be even more annoying than words can convey.

    • August 8, 2012 6:47 am

      leaving the spunk all over the sink for the party’s host to clean off

      Is that what that was? Damn, I thought it was softsoap.

      Kent, at least, can be clever; a condition which perpetually eludes Alexis.

  6. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 8, 2012 11:23 am

    I don’t know why but Kent strikes me as the only one in the OSR bowel movement who would not approve of anal sex with children, in real life or suckdungeon art. And that’s the only nice thing I have to say about him.

  7. August 8, 2012 11:53 am

    FUCK OFF TURDEATS

  8. August 8, 2012 1:58 pm

    Kent, the answer is “Mirdath’s true love from The Night Land.” Now, what the fruck do I win?

  9. August 9, 2012 2:29 pm

    YO MOUTH IS MY CUMM DUMSTER SKEET SKEET FUCKFACES

  10. August 10, 2012 6:06 am

    I never seen this blog until today, so good advertising there YDIS. It is like a ton of others that are all over the fucking map. One day he talks about maps (dude, shrink the goddamn images will ya?) and then the other day he would decide to post about his love of old Irish dudes. Then post about how he likes classical music. Does he sit in a fucking study with a glass of brandy and a fucking monocle reading Shakespeare or something?

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 10, 2012 3:21 pm

      Only the sexy people, Grumpy. You unbathed fatbeard mentally retarded pedophiles of the OSR Turdosphere should stick to reading JaMal and Rob Conley. Or counting all the fucking hexes on the map with that she-male Alexis.

      • August 11, 2012 3:19 am

        Links please! How can I make fun of blogs if I don’t know where they are?

    • August 10, 2012 6:13 pm

      Grumpy, you have erroneously called Kent “dude.” In the future, please address Kent as “ma’am” or perhaps “missy.”

  11. Timothy permalink
    August 13, 2012 7:35 am

    Sad that after the last few years of Kent’s agitprop, this is the most that can be said about him. Rather telling, I’m afaid.

  12. Asparagus permalink
    August 13, 2012 5:04 pm

    We’ve all seen the type before; an annoying tool whose ego outstrips his intellect but who takes his inability to mix with other humans not as evidence of his own inadequacy but of an imagined intellectual superiority.

    Every now and then someone will pity the little missy and try to include him, only to be reminded how obnoxious he is and how little he actually has to offer.

    The story of Kents life.

  13. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 13, 2012 7:11 pm

    I just looked at photos from the OSRCon on Grognardia. Ed Greenwood’s helmet hairstyle makes him looks like a giant penis. And right below it are photos of JaMal describing some really big penises he has serviced.
    http://grognardia.blogspot.com/2012/08/osrcon-photos.html

  14. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    August 14, 2012 1:02 pm

    And Jesus Christ, it’s at a library so not a fucking beer or cocktail within 300 yards of the joint. I’d need to be sucking them down just to deal with the (assumed from his adorable looks) catpiss stink emenating off of Ed Greenwood alone.

    • August 14, 2012 2:19 pm

      “Catpiss stink” is a good way to put it. I like that. Ken St. Andre looks like he smells like his own piss.

      • August 14, 2012 7:41 pm

        Ken is completely unpretentious and pleasant to deal with, in my limited experience talking to him by e-mail about various stuff. No idea about his scent.

      • August 14, 2012 8:04 pm

        This guy says Ken sucks farts:

        http://discourseanddragons.blogspot.ca/2012/08/osrcon_13.html

      • August 14, 2012 8:15 pm

        That’s disappointing.

      • August 17, 2012 5:07 am

        Wait a moment. Discourse dude is describing what Ken did during Maliszewski’s Dimmermount session. Given the circumstances, Ken’s actions seem sane and rational.

        I just met Ken; the worst thing I can say about him is that he needs to get a new hat.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 15, 2012 5:38 pm

      Old dudes who look like they smell like stagnant bum piss should form an OSR Pee Pee Club or something.

  15. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    August 14, 2012 3:27 pm

    In that 1st pic there’s what looks to be a childs Happy Meal box in front of the unseen Mr. Andre. Could it be the leftover lunch of one of Ken’s past victims, now getting good use as both momento of conquest AND handy dice container? About 7 pictures down Ken seems to be demonstrating his technique for holding down his victims. Impromptu lesson to the budding young future offendors in the crowd?

  16. August 14, 2012 5:34 pm

    Funny shit.

  17. The Monolith From Beyond Taste And Reason permalink
    August 15, 2012 11:40 am

    Can we talk about LotFP’s new module? The monolith one? It seems like Raggi might be trying to write modules that are fun to read, but are either not fun to play or are actually unplayable. The “math equation” result of his Summon spell is like this – it looks cool there in the rules, but what are you possibly expected to do if you roll it? It is fun to read, but I’m not really sure who’s supposed to enjoy actually using it as written.

    Not the DM, certainly. A great deal of the written instructions here are vague and contradictory, and asks you to verbally describe things that Raggi himself considers indescribable. Good luck with that. In a few places, there are procedural instructions, “if your players do this, then you do that,” but these are often confusing. If the characters do end up inside someone’s mind, for instance, (don’t ask) I don’t really understand how they’re supposed to successfully get back out without dying. The other problem here is that the instructions as written tell you as the DM to be a dick to your players, your friends presumably, and to deliberately make them feel uncomfortable or unwelcome. In a couple of places, Raggi encourages you to try to get your players to fight with each other. Not their characters, the players. Are we having fun yet?

    From the player’s end, I also can’t see why you’d want to involve yourself with this thing. There’s no reason other than curiosity to enter the valley, and nothing waiting inside it that would make the trip worthwhile. There’s no treasure to recover, no monster to defeat, and nothing that happens inside is anything you’d desire to have happen to your character, that you might go in trying to get.

    There’s also no real way for players to control what happens to them except by leaving. There’s no rewards for “good play” here. The only good play is noticing that your character is about to enter a James Raggi module and saying “You know what, we’re just going to take the long way around all that.” Once you go in, your character will probably die or be transformed in a way that destroys their usefulness or desirability for future play. You have no control over any of it. Things happen, mostly for no reason, and the only way to stop it is to not go in in the first place. Even just going in and immediately leaving has a fair chance of completely fucking things up.

    The only way I can imagine using this is as a one-off. You can’t take low-level characters in, because they’ll almost certainly all die. And you wouldn’t want to bring in high-level characters that you built up, because if they don’t die, they’ll be ruined, for no reason. So I guess you could roll up some high-level characters, turn them loose, and then throw away the ones that live through it afterwards. And besides, you could never use this as part of an ongoing campaign, since there’s a high likelihood that you’ll be instructed to transport all the characters to a new campaign world, possible each character to a different world, so that they’re not just in different places, but in different dimensions. Whee!

    A lot of modules have “specials,” where you can mess with things in an obvious way, and you know something’s going to happen to you. Drink the potions in the “room of obviously magical color-coded potions” and something crazy happens to you. But you have a choice about that. Here, it’d be like you say “well, I definitely don’t drink any of the potions,” and Raggi instructs your DM to say “well, all the potions affect you anyway, just because you entered the room. You’re now either dead, or a troglodyte rapist. Enjoy raping goblins to death for the rest of the campaign, because that’s the only weapon you’re allowed to use now, forever.” So like I said, the only “good play” here is not playing. There’s no smart decision you can make to protect yourself besides not going in. People go into the Tomb of Horrors to try to outsmart it, get all the way through, steal the treasure, kill the lich, and get out alive, by playing intelligently. You go into Raggi’s monolith for no reason whatsoever, bad things happen for no reason, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

    So there’s a misty valley, with a monolith in it. The valley is a random size. There’s a not insubstantial probability that you’ll roll up a valley that is “too small,” so that the characters walk into it and immediately pass back out the other side. There’s also a fair chance of rolling up a valley so large that the characters will die of old age (or starvation, or one of the many dangers herein) before they reach the monolith. Also when you enter the valley, something happens that either ruins the characters, or causes them to enter a different campaign world when they leave the valley. A couple of the random results of entering the valley would also effectively prevent the characters from traveling inside the valley at all.

    While the characters walk to the monolith, they get some random encounters. There’s fog, some owl statues, ghost pirates, a big fish, spooky clones, and a couple others that are less memorable. One of the encounters says that nothing happens, and the characters can’t do anything, until a new encounter gets rolled. There’s another that says that nothing happens, but the DM is now supposed to fuck with the players for literally “years” after the encounter, which is an awfully optimistic assessment of how long these characters, or even the players controlling them, are going to keep playing this game after running through this meatgrinder. Oh, and there’s an encounter designed to punish people for playing female characters, and to make everyone at the table feel sexually uncomfortable.

    Okay, so suppose you get to the monolith. Well congratulations, simply by coming within sighting distance of it, you’ve caused something to happen that will leave you never wanting to play that character again. You might as well enter the monolith, if you’re bothering to play the module at all. More impossible-to-describe descriptions, more unavoidable transformations and deaths, and for the hell of it, there’s a head in a jar. There’s also a really extensive table of possible outcomes if the characters do something specific to the head in the jar, but it’s something that I have a hard time imagining the players saying they’ll do. Look, I know a lot of people play their characters as pretty depraved, killing orc babies, cutting NPCs’ guts open to search for treasure they might have swallowed, whatever. I still have a hard time believing anyone will perform the action that leads you to roll on this table. Kill the head? Sure. Stomp it? Set it on fire? Go crazy. I still doubt you’ll do the thing that Raggi devoted 3-4 pages of table space to determining the results of. The head in a jar, incidentally, is the closest thing you get to “treasure” in this module, and it’s the last thing in it. There’s nothing else here. Come, see the sights, probably die, leave if you can.

    Like I said, it’s fun to read, but who would want to play this thing? As written, it tells you, as the DM to fuck with your friend’s heads, try to get them to fight with each other, make them feel uncomfortable in as many ways as you can, frustrate every attempt they make at intelligent play or good decision making, wreck the characters they brought into the thing, and nuke the campaign that led them to find it in the first place. Assuming no dice roll along the way tells you that everyone just dies or gets stuck in an endless meat grinder forever. Maybe Raggi will defend himself with by claiming that “I don’t intend for you to run it the way I wrote it,” or “Why do you want me to do your imagining for you,” but those are lame defenses for a module you’re intended to play. The whole reason you buy a module is to run it the way it’s written and have the module writer imagine for you for a night. That’s why people spend money on modules instead of exclusively writing all their own adventures. The only possible defense here is that it’s a lark to read, but you shouldn’t expect to ever use it.

    • Bob Whiskers permalink
      August 15, 2012 12:16 pm

      That’s a lot of words. I’m not going to read all that shit without some positive reviews from the friendly locals.

    • Timothy permalink
      August 15, 2012 1:27 pm

      Not sure this is the place for a thoughtful review, but that was an interesting read. Pretty much confirms what we all expected…Fuck you, player, that’s why. This time you don’t even get a save – just die already. Standard-issue Faggi crap.

      When a module is marketed as being for levels 1 to infinity, you know there is no meaningful game play there, and R4 delivered in spades.

      Thanks for typing all that out, TMFBATAR.

    • August 15, 2012 2:06 pm

      Thank you for that. Hite’s thing is the owl encounter, I think? Does it stick out like a sore thumb or just blend in with the rest of the silliness?

      • The Monolith From Beyond Taste And Reason permalink
        August 15, 2012 7:50 pm

        The owl encounter didn’t really stick out. It’s one of set pieces where the attraction is that nothing happens and the players can’t do anything. It’s also one of several where the DM is instructed to use the fact that the encounter happened as an excuse to continue fucking with the players even after the module’s over.

        I actually thought the head in the jar seemed the least like the other encounters. Your “prize” for interacting with the head is a chance to maybe cast some not-terribly-useful spells or get a permanent minor penalty/bonus combo.

        The basic premise of the module is sound. There’s a mysterious valley, with an alien statue, that causes weird things to happen, and allows players to interact with it in ways that cause permanent transformations, if they choose to flirt with danger. The execution is just unplayable though, or at least, not without so much modification that you start to wonder what you paid for.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 15, 2012 5:35 pm

      What? Finding a giant corn-laden turd in the middle of the woods isn’t enough of a Call to Adventure for you? And since this is supposed to be the message board for Kent’s blog, I just want to add that giant corn-laden turd looks more like a penis that just dismounted from Kent’s bung hole and now has his poo poo smeared all over it.

      • Lamentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
        August 15, 2012 7:19 pm

        Pretty much standard Raggi bullshit. One has to question who the crazy Swedish fuckers who would play with such a cocksucker of a dungeon master as Faggi. Speaking of cocksucking I can only assume Raggi expects players to make the severed head in the jar suck their cocks? Which, after all the bullshit they probably went through, might not be as unlikely as it seems on just reading through the module.
        After giving the Faggenmeister a few of my hard earned dollars for Dumb, Frost, Dumber and actually running the god damned thing… I’ll never give Doughy-tits another dollar I’m afraid. My players were wholesale about to lynch me over that fucking module. All those glowing reviews convinced me that the blog-o-sphere that christened it the best module EVAR are a bunch of idiots that can’t tell their collective asses from a monolith turd half stuck in the ground.

  18. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    August 16, 2012 12:10 pm

    Mr. Suck needs to do a new post. I feel dirty reading these great comments on a post about some pathetic limey douche.

    I’m starting to get obsessed with these OSR con photos. Two comments about that first one (and no they are not about how dorky and a little creepy Jamal looks in ALL the photos. So much so even he goofs on his pedaphilic elementary school teacher-looks).

    First, notice how one fellow has a water bottle in front of him, but the water is brown. I’d like to think it was some nice Newcastle Ale that he is stealthily bringing into the library. But more likely he is one of Dwimmermounts top pledgers who requested Jamal scoop some of this shit water from the hotel room toilet for him to drink while praising empty dust chambers. Looks like they managed to explore a couple of rooms in that session. One of them must have had something in it. Welcome to Dwimmermount!

    Also, I kind of dig the blond, young Woody Allen-looking lass cuddling up to her boyfriend. He’s ethnic, which she thinks is hot. Forbidden fruit. Or is it that he kind of looks like one of the barbarian horse assholes from Game of Thrones? Bet that turns the little minx on to no end. Mmm, game girl tang. I remember being at some games in Jr. high with my girlfriend, and some con games one weekend too. There is no greater glory than being the only guy at the table with a chick who was not henious (see other lady at the table). You can literally feel the power of futile resentment coming from the poor unblown virgies, especially when she is touchy-feely and all huggy at the table.

    Wonder how long it’s been since Ken got his scabby dingus slurped? Uh, by a willing person, that is.

    “Take that, you fiend!”

  19. Gencon Roger Moret permalink
    August 16, 2012 10:58 pm

    Well, what can I say, this blogpost started out terrible because it was about Kent (fancy that), but it became wonderful. Sort of like if Kent woke up in the morning, turned on his computer and posted here (bad), then went outside to blow his boyfriend and got hit by a train (good).

    Thanks for the review of Turd Beyond Time. I’ll give Rags this, he is big on truth in advertising, this crap of an adventure features a piece of crap on the cover. Can’t say he didn’t warn us, hmmmm?

  20. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 17, 2012 5:26 am

    Ken St. Andre calls D&D “The Other Game”. I think he means “The Game That Came First I Blatantly Ripped Off.” No wonder he fits in so well with the OSR cut and paste and regurgitate the same old shit in a dull new fashion crowd. Or doesn’t fit in. These are social retards getting together in Canada we are talking about after all. On second thought, I think after experiencing Dimmerdouche Suckdungeon firsthand, Ken St. Andre may have have just been acting out like that kid in The Emperor’s New Clothes “YOU ARE IN YOUR UNDERWEAR. AND YOUR DUNGEON IS SUCK!!!!”

    http://grognardia.blogspot.com/2012/08/osrcon-dwimmermount-session-1.html

    JaMal comes pretty close to actually developing a spine and calling Ken St. Andre a fucktard but he just can’t get there. Enjoy motherfuckers. Empty, dusty rooms await.

    • NUNYA permalink
      May 24, 2016 8:54 am

      AND PHAT LEWT PILES OF 2000 CP!

      -NUNYA

  21. Nigrafrican permalink
    August 17, 2012 6:00 am

    “All back-catalog of D&D products from all editions to be made available again in electronic format. ”

    OSR is dead, finally. NO reason to come back here anymore.
    Bye.

  22. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 17, 2012 6:22 am

    Future of D&D Keynote Address TL; DR (or watch) version: The future of D&D is some rehashed Forgotten Realms novels. 5e Elminster and Drizzt. Yawn. Oh and rules don’t matter.

    At least Wizards got Ed Greenwood cleaned up and sober after OSR Con for the keynote address. Looks like they scrubbed the catpiss smell off him too.

    • August 19, 2012 4:48 am

      Fuck that for a game of tin soldiers.

    • Jack Colby permalink
      September 9, 2012 7:04 pm

      I thought it was funny they were saying rules don’t matter while trying to sell us on the idea of a new set of rules.

  23. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    August 17, 2012 12:11 pm

    “JaMal comes pretty close to actually developing a spine and calling Ken St. Andre a fucktard but he just can’t get there”

    JaMal has a tendency to down play negatives, so when he touches on these negs, you can bet your left ass cheek he feels stronger about them than he is communicating on the surface. So two things can be sussed out as fact:

    L’il Jimmy hates Ken St. Andre for what he did. He totally disrupted his game. This was a DM who considers it important to put on a show for the young noobs of the OSR and for fellow bloggers present, and it turned out to be the Ken show. We have all seen that behavior in games, usually commited by teenage heavy metal idiots (young Raggi’s?) who start the game bored so decide their characters are pyschopaths. These fools who DM’s fear having in games are even worse in the presence of females at the game table, and Ken was probably in part showing off because of a cute girl being there (and probably for the less cute one too). He is a weird old man with the mind of a 14 year old. According to Wiki, Ken lives in AZ. Did he really travel all the way to OSR con just to shit on his pen pals important game session, or just to market his shit to the small crowd at this thing?

    The other thing that is obvious from Jamals post is that he doesn’t feel the game went well at all. Whether from Ken’s assholish behavior or from that fact that both his dusty old dungeon mentality and poor DM skills did not tranlate well to the younger folk, or both. Think about it. In Jamals Dwimmermount posts from a couple of years ago, he often mentioned how there was little focus on the game and how everybody would talk about other things or wander off to look at TV or whatever. And those were his friends. Bottom line, it seems Jamal is not a very good DM. For both him and probably for at least a couple of the others, it must have been a long four hours.

    One more thing. Tunnels and Trolls has some old school mystique to it, but it is a horrible game, at least the old version that I knew. “Everybody or nobody” damage mechanics and spells that seem to be given names by somebody with Downs Syndrome. There is no reason to play this game with everything else that is out there.

    • August 24, 2012 7:00 am

      Ken sounds like an asshole. Considering his claim to fame is producing a failed D&D knock off its no wonder. I don’t like JMal but were I drunk enough to sit at his table I’d show him the same respect I’d show any other DM.

  24. Arneson's Spectre permalink
    August 17, 2012 7:29 pm

    JaMal likes to delete comments. All I said to JaMal was he should have shit down Ken St. Andre’s throat while tucking his penis under to piss up his nose. Maybe YDIS can give us a Turdnardia comments page as well.

    • Arneson's Spectre permalink
      August 20, 2012 4:50 pm

      And now JaMal deletes this post I made at Turdnardia today: “That picture of Lovecraft really sets my GAYDAR off. HPL was clearly a flaming queen. I know you’re very conservative and all and don’t approve, what with your hatred of bastardy and Harry Harrison’s liberal worldview, but you have to admit the Old Gent was a bit of a poofster. I know he’s one of your idols so you can’t possibly accept this fact, but she was playing for Dorothy’s team, if you know what I mean.”

      http://grognardia.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-man-behind-madness.html

  25. August 20, 2012 9:42 pm

    Why does this sperm-gargling McFaggot have his own post? I couldn’t bear reading more than ten words of his asinine blog. My only comment there would be “Kill yourself immediately.”

  26. Let me tell you about my character permalink
    August 9, 2016 8:42 pm

    Well, Kent’s blog is down again. This thread was the number two search result.

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