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REVIEW: Mines of Khunmar, by Stefan Poag

April 19, 2012

James Assward Raggi the IV is kickstarting again or whatever this one is called. The numbers make very little sense to me, but he’s squeezed more ‘nade out of this lemon than I ever would have conceived possible so maybe he can pull six figures for a reprint of a revised edition of a ripoff of a 40-year-old product — it’s like Russian nesting dolls in reverse, that get bigger as you reveal them. What caught my eye was that OShockR artist extraordinaire Stefan Poag is listed as the $82,500 booby prize… WHAAAAT?!?!?

It seems ludicrous to me that Raggi could amass an $82,500+ subscription to this project, but I’m really pulling for it because on what planet would you have to be born to be confident that Poag will be able to churn out a 32-page adventure for hire? Not Earth. This is the same dude who has been talking about getting Mines to market for the past 5 years. This is the same dude whose creature-feature reprint has been top o’ the queue in LotFP’s vaporware list. This is the same dude who has stated repeatedly on numerous of his blogs that he has since nuked that he’s bored with actual D&D gaming (though he manages to will just enough blood into his dong to get it up for wretched DCC commissions and Barrowmaze marginalia). He’s currently all mopey ’cause his cush gig teaching crack babies to count to potato fell through. How’s this cracker gonna crank out a brand new 32-page adventure if he can’t even muster the gusto to steal the tasty little pies that are already on the windowsill? He’s not, so I’m guessing that maybe he hands over his fabled Mines of Khunmar megadungeon to Raggi the Hutt and let’s him edit the first couple levels and release that in place of something new.

Stef released Mines of Khunmar  a few years ago as a .pdf that’s basically a brief overview, thumbnails of the levels, a few anecdotes from his campaigns, and the maps. I’m not sure if he still has it out there, but I’m hosting a copy here if you want to take a look. The maps are the only thing worth a damn so I’ll cover them first. They’re actually fucking awesome — the .pdf is 58 pages and 46 of them are maps. Khunmar has 8 main levels, each of which has up to 8 sub-levels. All hand-drawn, some on graph paper and many just on like binder paper or something, rough in many places, but Poag has a real flair for maps. He has an innate sense for spacial relationships that he is able to depict in appealing fashion, like Dyson Logos — there are multiple entries to each level, lots of connections between them, elevation variations, nooks & crannies, shit on top of other shit, cave sections, multiple paths that loop around. The maps are fucking win.

The dungeon itself sucks shittyballs, even with the little he writes about it. If there’s a tired fucking lame dungeon meme, it’s in here. The Dwarfs “dug too deep.” Kobold level. Goblin level. Necromancer level. Undead level. Lava river. Monster stocking is apparently done by flipping to a random page in the Monster Manual. None of it is individualized or embellished in any way and maybe that’s just because the notes are so brief and the stuff he didn’t show is awesome, but I get the overwhelming feeling from reading it that it is what it is, just waves of stock baddies personalized only by their hp totals.

There are a couple patented Poag flourishes. There are shit-encrusted latrines everywhere. He goes into loving detail about how one provoked multiple near-TPKs with the overflow of shit and giant centipedes within. Way to go Poag, let your freak flag fly. There’s are also two black pudding-filled traps on Level 7C that he’s drawn to look like twin hairy ballsacks.

TL;DR Assload of great maps, everything else sucks tiny ladyboy tits.

133 Comments leave one →
  1. Shitty McTits permalink
    April 19, 2012 8:12 pm

    Oh, Poag just needs to be given the right sort of creative control and he’ll have 32 pages in no time.

    I for one am really looking forward to Module 002, “Poopmasters of Rapeytown.” It’s going to be a classic riff on–which may be to say ripoff of–B4, except instead of Jocks, Nerds, and Cheerleaders as the three factions, it’s going to be The Orcs That Rape You Then Cut Off Your Head And Shit In Your Mouth, The Orcs That Cut Off Your Head And Shit In Your Mouth Then Rape You, and The Orcs That Shit In Your Mouth Then Cut Off Your Head Then Rape Your Neck-Stump Filled With Their Shit. And instead of being an underground pyramid, the map will be shaped like a cock and balls, with one faction in the shaft and one in each of the swollen hairy ballsacks.

  2. JRT permalink
    April 19, 2012 8:17 pm

    I see Faggi has discovered IndyGoGo, where they let you keep the pledged money you do get anyway even if you don’t meet the goal…

  3. JRT permalink
    April 19, 2012 8:26 pm

    Two points: I take it Stefan Poag is the new Rob Kuntz in the shit or get off the pot you lazy slob procrastinator department, and for $82,500, Faggi really should fly Alexass to every donor’s house to give them a hand job happy ending.

  4. Timothy permalink
    April 20, 2012 7:01 am

    Hundreds of lazyass people gave JimmieMal money for his paint-by-numbers megadungeon of kobolds and dust, hundreds of lazyass people will give Faggi money for a hardcover of regurgitated D&D and shitty adventures by a stellar roster of bloggers and yodellers.

    There are more goosestepping sheep in the OSR than at a Ted Nugent concert.

    • Radovarl permalink
      April 20, 2012 7:53 am

      Many of them are the same sheep, incidentally.

  5. Otto permalink
    April 20, 2012 9:46 am

    Yeah I don’t know what your politics actually are, but I think it is worth addressing the horrible regressive tendencies of may bloggers- idiot libertarians, and unabashed racists. And sadly, my political biases are always confirmed- it’s always the shitty, unoriginal blogs that post Teaparty shit.
    Also, I hope people read this review, because it highlights the fact that YDIS isn’t unconditional shit, and is indeed useful. There is enough mutual appreciation in this part of the internet.
    Also, have you read Tenkar’s cop blog? There’s some great, casual, self-congratulatory racism to be found there.

    • Timothy permalink
      April 20, 2012 10:07 am

      What are “may bloggers”?

      YDIS is indeed useful – he cleans toilets with the best of them.

      Tenkar has another blog besides his “please give me free shit so I can write pollyanna non-reviews about it” blog? Linkage? I’d rather not sully by mouse arrow by going to his gayme blog.

    • April 20, 2012 10:07 am

      Tenkar link, please.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        April 20, 2012 10:57 am

      • April 20, 2012 5:42 pm

        Well, I’m not getting those 10 minutes back. Homeslice worked one of the most notorious beats in America and all he’s got to show for it are stories of getting coffee and telling people to please step back onto the sidewalk. Riveting.

      • JRT permalink
        April 20, 2012 6:21 pm


      • April 21, 2012 8:48 am

        …not to be confused with celibate Kojak, sold separately.

      • Otto permalink
        April 21, 2012 6:33 pm

        “Yo! I needs you to get off the street! The street belongs to the PoPo! The sidewalks belongs to you’se! Gets off my street! I won’t step on your sidewalk and you don’t step on my street!”

      • JRT permalink
        April 23, 2012 2:38 pm


      • Roger Moret permalink
        April 24, 2012 9:21 am

        Did Tenkar carry a real gun or a plastic dart gun? Either way it doesn’t appear he actually ever used it.

    • JRT permalink
      April 20, 2012 6:32 pm

      Those OSR Libertarian retards who tout the Tea Party are too fucking stupid to realize that it’s all just a Republican scam to get the mental midgets of the lower middle class to vote Republican again – even though our party isn’t in their best interest and never has been – that was cooked up by my brilliant GOP buddies the Koch brothers! I’m glad to know there are still fucktards out there willing to die to keep my tax rate below 20% while we cut all their benefits like Medicare and social security. DUMB ASS FUCKS – I AM THE 1% AND I WIN!!!!!

  6. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    April 20, 2012 11:09 am

    Good lord. The artwork Raggi The Last has on the post for that project is a couple of helpless pilgrims about to be violated and the baby shit on by unseen creeps. Is that a sample of Poag work? This is a call to adventure? I know it’s supposed to be all gritty, but jeez. So many gamers are weird, unlaid wanna be sex offenders. Those of us who are happy with a badass warrior killing creeps with a greatsword, or a Red Sonja type in a chainmail bikini slaughtering minor demons, are actually quite healthy in the membrane compared to these fat fucks.

    Raggi has girlfriend or wife or something he’s mentioned, right? Is there a pic of this beast? Then again, Fins are supposed to be obnoxious, evil pricks (like Russians) so she may be hot and just likes to stick it to god by fucking a fat, drooling, greasy haired gamer with a death metal fixation.

    • Radovarl permalink
      April 20, 2012 12:49 pm

      Some of Raggi’s early blog posts included photos, some of which included his (then future) wife. She’s a rolly-polly little troll (the Scandinavian mythological type, not the Internet or AD&D version). He stopped posting the pics once I pointed out that the entire group was obviously stoned, in the comments*. Yeah, I was trolling the blogs long before YDIS; I much prefer this venue, though, as my posts aren’t immediately deleted :-).

      * No, I have nothing against getting high; I congratulated them on being righteously wasted, but I guess maybe they didn’t want to be viewed as deviant…. oh, wait.

      • kent permalink
        April 20, 2012 3:52 pm

        What has his girlfriend got to do with anything?

        If you don’t focus your insults on those who deserve it you are just an ignorant prat.

      • JRT permalink
        April 20, 2012 6:34 pm


      • April 21, 2012 8:50 am

        I’m with Kent on this one. Attacking Mrs. Raggi is poor form. The unfortunate woman has enough problems as it is.

      • Radovarl permalink
        April 21, 2012 10:59 am

        I didn’t attack her; I described her. CKDB was the one who asked if there were photos. As for being an ignorant prat (which I assume is a British ass), so be it, though Kent is hardly in a position to point fingers. By the evidence of his recent blog posts, he’s on the verge of some sort of self-referential troll implosion. Who the hell associated with the OSR, however tangentially, doesn’t deserve some opprobrium? Sure, Mrs. Raggi is probably the soul of tolerance, having put up with hubby for this long. On the other hand, she’s an enabler. One wonders if she sees Raggi as some sort of wonderful American artistic type.

        Or put another way, “Fuck off, Kent.” What makes you think I give a rat’s prat about your opinion?

      • Roger Moret permalink
        April 21, 2012 2:15 pm

        Show a little respect for Mizzus Raggi, she’s had to put up with their government funded apartment being filled up with Flame Princess shit for the past few years. Imagine having to look at stacks of LOTFP box sets and Carcosa books every time you walk to the kitchen to fix a fish sandwich. The woman is a saint in my book.

      • Otto permalink
        April 21, 2012 6:38 pm

        I don’t hate Raggi as much as everyone else here seems to, even if he is a self-promoting jackass. Who doesn’t want to make a living selling D&D shit? Also, I think it’s cool that he publishes so many of the better OSR works- Carcosa and Vornheim are both neat. Even if Raggi’s shit is disappointing, he seems to pick good projects.

  7. kent permalink
    April 21, 2012 1:58 pm


    Let me put it this way – YDIS has failed. By YDIS I mean both ms suck dungeon’s OPs and those commenting afterwards. The chief instigators of Cash-For-My-Monster-Dreams are now raking in tens of thousands of dollars having slyly hoodwinked an online nation of stupifyingly passive and helpless D&D gamers who have been gulled through a series of seemingly free-to-read blog posts.

    There was a time when YDIS was a threat to charlatans, lets call that the golden age where talentless gluttons for praise and fortune feared ridicule and feared also that the online nation of D&D gamers would cast off its sheep’s garments in shame. There followed a period when YDIS was still annoying enough to cast a pall over their morning coffee which lasted at least as long as it took to eat a slice of toast. In this silver age these subpar writers were provoked to comment here.

    Without respect for Ovidian form the ages of bronze and iron were skipped over and YDIS plummeted into what can only be named the faecal age, a time when YDIS regaled the online nation of D&D gamers with shitty babble and relishing these unwholesome odors has forgotten to make its point.

    The point is simple and remains valid. A very small number of unemployed and mentally ill egotists who play Dungeons & Dragons have made hay in a surfeit of idle time to sell a lie that playing D&D means buying adventures and supplements, and even though they themselves game only with their own material have managed to create a market of dependents.

    • April 21, 2012 4:15 pm

      There was a golden age?

      • kent permalink
        April 22, 2012 4:35 am

        Yeah, back when you were acting like Deep Throat from All The Presidents Men – before it turned out you were just some old git moonlighting as a parking attendant.

      • April 22, 2012 3:33 pm

        My next entry will be titled ‘Apology,’ I think you’ll get some warm ‘n’ fuzzies if you check it out.

      • kent permalink
        April 23, 2012 3:58 pm

        I’ll probably give that one a miss then as your idea of warm n fuzzy is aqueous humour spurting from a lacerated eyeball.

      • Radovarl permalink
        April 23, 2012 4:27 pm

        You need a kickstarter for that, YDIS. I’d pledge at least $50 for an apology that involves Kent’s aqueous humor squirting out his lacerated eyeball. Bonus goal for $100 backers? You get to watch the video of the lens from the same eyeball (or the other, I don’t give a fuck) being bounced off a sidewalk like a superball (yes, they’re extremely elastic, as anyone who dissected a cow eye in high school biology class can attest).

      • Roger Moret permalink
        April 24, 2012 9:14 am

        If an eyeball is getting lanced, Pog will want to take pictures for future artistic reference. I hear he’s moving away from baby rape and shitting, he wants to expand his horizons to include eye gouges and fists shoved up the bum.

    • Otto permalink
      April 21, 2012 6:38 pm

      Kent, I remember you used to tackle OSR egotism from time to time. Why’d you stop?

      • kent permalink
        April 21, 2012 6:54 pm

        I feared my heroic temperament would be adulterated through psychic infection.

    • JRT permalink
      April 22, 2012 5:16 pm


  8. FASERIP permalink
    April 23, 2012 1:35 pm

    If you want to go after Raggi’s personal life, you could always bring up the fact he’s a self-confessed stalker.

    Pardon the long quotation (in case things change).

    “The entire Flame Princess concept started in 1997 when I was surfing heavy metal websites and came across the site of this one Finnish girl. She’d linked some bands, so… anyway. I’d never seen anyone that looked like that before, and it started my fascination with Finland and long red hair all at once. 😛

    “Now the email link on that girl’s site didn’t work (she’d already abandoned it), so I had no concept of her as a person. Just some pictures. So I created a mythology (as I often do around women that seem brilliant that I can’t get close to) around her, and she was dubbed the Flame Princess, specifically for inclusion in my fiction.

    “I did eventually catch up with the girl that made that webpage. Unfortunately, she thought I was completely psycho and after not much conversation threatened to call the cops if I ever contacted her again, mainly because I left comments on her (public) blog… she had posted that she was going to see some concert, and I knew the band and had interviewed the songwriter several times; he knew who I was. So I mentioned to her that if she told the guy that she was the Flame Princess, he’d get it. That set her off. Ah well. That wasn’t so creepy or threatening, was it?”

    • Bob's Cunt permalink
      April 23, 2012 2:34 pm

      Well, that proves that Faggi is batshit insane. Anyone who moves to another country and names his blog after seeing a picture on the internet cannot be stable. Add in his shit game, association with Poag and Carcosa and what you have is one of the guys responsible for F.A.T.A.L.

      I don’t know what is worse, the fact this guy is alive or the fact people buy his shit.

      • JRT permalink
        April 23, 2012 2:37 pm

        You’re just figuring this out?

    • kent permalink
      April 23, 2012 2:44 pm

      That’s the kind of thing Byron would have done. Now, if Raggi wants to sell some romantic poetry I might support that ambition.

  9. JRT permalink
    April 23, 2012 2:36 pm

    Just when you thought you’d seen it all from these social retards, they turn around and surprise you with some new asshattery. At the opposite end of the cut and paste retroturd spectrum, there is now a Shitstarter for D&D FOR LIBTARDS:

    “Fantasy’s full of all sorts of legacy concepts that are rather disgusting to us; sexism, classism, racism, institutional violence, those are just a few choice items.”

    This from the same pansy liberal gamers at RPGNet who enjoy dressing in women’s chainmail bikinis at game conventions and on gay pride floats.

    Great Gygax’s Ghost!

    • Chainsaw permalink
      April 24, 2012 4:46 am

      This product sounds amazing – just look at the supplement!

      “Foie Gras to Fear is the tentative name of our first supplement, to be released right around the same time as the main game. It’s half gaming supplement, half cookbook. It’ll give a number of recipes as well as setting information, presented in-character from the perspective of a wandering chef looking for new ideas. It’ll also have advice for how to use food to enhance your game experience.”

      • JRT permalink
        April 24, 2012 7:09 am


    • Roger Moret permalink
      April 24, 2012 9:27 am

      Congrats JRT, you have found the absolute stupidest kickstarter in the history of this miserable “innovation”. The fact this waste of time, space and brain cells has been FUNDED is more example that there is still lead in public housing being consumed by curious babies (the ones not being raped by Pog orcs). I mean, aren’t we all clamoring for a “half gaming supplement, half cookbook” penned by a wandering chef? The only food I’m using to enhance my gaming experience is when I’m gaming with the female cast of Gossip Girl and they are spraying whipped cream on my crotch in preparation to consumption. You can’t make this up, my friends.

      • JRT permalink
        April 24, 2012 1:15 pm

        Speaking of the Welfare State, everybody-else-pay-my-way-with-higher-taxes mentality that the Libtards have created in Obamerica, check out this Indy Blow Blow shitstarter:
        I can’t believe this 18 year old “professional YouTuber” has only raised $13 dollars trying to get the world to pay for his sweet PC gaming setup for his “college studies”. Still, this is a much better deal than any of the OSR Turdosphere offerings…

  10. Bob's Cunt permalink
    April 23, 2012 2:54 pm

    Over on DragginFeet they are having an argument over diaper changing at conventions. Apparently B.O., Assburgers and mental retardation is acceptable but changing a diaper is not.

    • JRT permalink
      April 23, 2012 3:05 pm

      I bet those social retards don’t mind the free show they get with breastfeeding in public though.

    • JRT permalink
      April 23, 2012 3:08 pm

      Was it Poag game? Was the baby also being eaten alive while being simultaneously raped? (I assume everyone involved was also shitting)

    • April 23, 2012 5:51 pm

      Ah hahaha, that was OUTSTANDING! It seemed less about the primal horror of glimpsing a diaper from across a crowded room, than a fellow con attendee flaunting incontrovertible evidence of having laid with a woman. Bob’s Cunt, I’m putting you in charge of DF. Do we know who ‘gleepwurp’ is in real life? Please keep me apprised of future DF threads wherein cloistered neckbeards mix with genetically normative humans.

      • Radovarl permalink
        April 24, 2012 5:22 am

        I think it’s hilarious that the OP dates back almost a decade, and the topic is still attracting posts. I’ve changed a fair number of diapers in my time, and while I probably wouldn’t have chosen the middle of a convention room to do it, ya gotta do what you gotta do.

        On the breastfeeding front, my wife and I encountered looks askance a couple of times when doing it in (semi)public. Both times I can recall, the disapproval emanated from obviously gay men, presumably because they didn’t want to be reminded of their link with womanhood, LOL. I wonder if this accounts for some of the debate at DF. One time the guy approached and started to say something to her, and I caught his attention and gave him the, “You definitely don’t want to go there,” look. Most people are pretty cool about it. Babies need what they need, when they need it.

      • April 24, 2012 9:07 am

        I assume the query regarding gleepwurp’s identity is rhetorical, given the blog link in his signature block.

      • April 24, 2012 5:41 pm

        I put Bob’s Cunt in charge so I don’t have to click links. That said… hahahaha it’s Poag! Fucking Christ, I actually think his art is OK but holy shit is that dude a fucking walking clown suit in real life…

      • Roger Moret permalink
        April 24, 2012 9:09 am

        Rad, the disconnect comes from the fact most gamers have little experience with breasts except for native women in National Geographic, their sisters or moms when they sneak a peek, or their own 42-D cup monster man boobs. They are jealous but curious. Perhaps your wife could pull the offending mammary out of the kid’s mouth enough to give the startled fatbeard a squirt in the eye…it would either be the best sexual experience they have ever had (or ever will have), or they would run in fear, sucking their thumb and weeping. Either way she’d be doing them a favor!

      • Roger Moret permalink
        April 24, 2012 9:12 am

        Life isn’t long enough to dissect the inanities of Dragonshit. Like Pog’s and Taos entertaining ramblings, I keep D-shit on my “favorited” web sites so I can wake up to a warm shot of Jack, cereal, and a good belly laugh.

  11. April 24, 2012 8:45 am

    Hilarious how Americans are shocked & scandalised by nipples and babies bums.

    • Roger Moret permalink
      April 24, 2012 9:05 am

      Actually most Europeans, when confronted with nipples and babies buns, start masturbating furiously. Except for the british, who find a nearby dick to suck (male) or bum to lick (female). Don’t even get me started with the French. The stench alone from a roomfull of frogs can turn the stomach when they see a babies bum and start disrobing.

  12. April 24, 2012 9:53 am

    And Australians?

  13. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    April 24, 2012 11:03 am

    I once read about how Marvel comics could not market a “Power Pack” anti-child molestation public awareness comic book to Europe (UK they could, but not France, Spain, etc) because they were told that in those countries another term for being sexually molested as a child is “sex education.” Yes, many of these sick fucks view being finger banged or being taught to blow rod as a child as a normal part of growing up. Nuff said.

    Remember, no matter how much America might fuck up, we ain’t the worse, even among so called civilized and modern 1st world countries.

    • kent permalink
      April 24, 2012 12:20 pm

      The Americans make the best hamburgers and freedom fries in the french world. Americans have one word for ‘balance’, ‘harmony’ and ‘taste’ – the word is ‘larger’. You also nurture and exhibit on your television sets the most flamboyant homosexuals and Texans in the whole of the galaxy.

      • Radovarl permalink
        April 24, 2012 12:45 pm

        Yeah, but at least our barbers and dentists aren’t all named “Mum”.

        You do realize using the terms “flamboyant homosexuals” and “Texans” in the same sentence is a bit redundant?

        And Texas isn’t REALLY part of America, BTW. Even their television tourism ads say so! Their slogan is, “It’s like a whole ‘nother country.” Truer words were never written. Of course, the entirety of the Gulf coast should be part of that whole nother country, too.

      • JRT permalink
        April 24, 2012 1:06 pm


  14. kent permalink
    April 24, 2012 1:46 pm

    Just play LEGO

    I wish all of you OSR and YDIS citizens of the online nation of D&D gamers would just go and play (advanced) LEGO or at least admit that that is what you are doing. That way I could distance myself if the subject of D&D ever comes up with my mates.

    -No I don’t play LEGO, I would say. Or advanced LEGO either. I play AD&D, a game which grown-ups can play in a manner which suits grown-ups.

    -Oh yeah? What about the online nation of D&D gamers, what do they play?

    – Actually, Im afraid they really play advanced LEGO.

    • Radovarl permalink
      April 24, 2012 2:38 pm

      That’s nothing. Not only does St. Jimmy play LEGO, he shills for Wizards of the Coast now. Mark my words, if they offer him a job, he’ll have yet another gaming epiphany, he’ll rehabilitate himself with the New Skool crowd, and Grognardia will become the home of soporific blatherings about D&D Next.

  15. kent permalink
    April 24, 2012 3:49 pm

    I don’t think I have made myself clear in the last few months. I am insulting *all* of you guys – OSR *and* YDIS. Get it?

    If you are reading this, chuckling timidly and quietly in your throat, and thinking ‘dear oh dear this lad is having a go at some *other* lads’, then stop. Stop, for a minute. If you are reading this, whoever you are, then I am insulting YOU – I am insulting you down deep in your brain and you will never forget it. Deep in the core of your walnut brain I have insinuated my insults forever, and have been doing so with elan on forums, and on blogs on this “ydis” quasi blog/forum thing (though I can’t start threads here to insult you yet). I am leaving a worm-residue of contempt milli-fathoms deep in the white curdled raisin where resides your mind. YOU I say – YOU reading this now – not some other bloke – YOU, you ugly prat. YOU and your pals in the OSR and YDIS are the dumbest scum-sucking gamers I have ever … Get it, fool?

    • April 24, 2012 4:29 pm

      So what are you hoping to accomplish?

    • Radovarl permalink
      April 24, 2012 4:32 pm

      Yeah, we get it. What you don’t seem to understand is that no one gives a flying fuck what you think. I take that back… You do get it, but you obviously can’t accept it. It’s inconceivable to you that no one finds your overwrought little witticisms and your arrogant, narcissistic ranting in the least bit charming.

      “(though I can’t start threads here to insult you yet)”

      Yet? LOL. Aside from the fact that ignoring the OP and writing whatever off-topic nonsense we want has become a revered YDIS tradition by now, I have to ask why in the world would you want to start your own threads if you hold everyone in such contempt?

      You had a blog; resurrect it (again) and go at it. You seem to vacillate wildly between apparently deep wells of (liquid?) courage in the face of the consensus opinion of you (disdain), and hiding with your tail between your legs for weeks at a time. I’m sure you have all sorts of other condescending lectures to deliver, so why not just do so?

      • kent permalink
        April 24, 2012 5:15 pm

        Know your place. The mat outside the door does not attempt to trip the prince coming and going from his summer residence. Better that you absorb the muck from my boots and be grateful.

    • April 24, 2012 6:05 pm

      Kent makes a good point — it’s high time he got his own byline here. Kent, I want you to do a bi-weekly column on women gamers, you could call it ‘Feminine Wiles’ or ‘Dispatches from Diana’ or something. What’s hot in femme gamer culture, goth story game grrrl profiles, ‘Satine Spotlight,’ I’m sure you’ll come up with a bunch of other angles. I think the Satan chick disappeared because we don’t have enough content for that demographic, maybe an urbane, sensitive, worldly type like you can make a connection.

      Kent, your password is ‘Eowyn.’ Please don’t get me DMCA’d with any pix you post.

      • April 25, 2012 6:34 am

        Some suggestions:
        Distaff Dungeoneers
        Pretty in Plate Mail
        Amazon Annunciations

    • kent permalink
      April 24, 2012 7:10 pm

      Well, I have been working on a sort of didactic novel which I could pillage on a semi-regular basis. The working title is … A Tale of an Educated Woman’s Buttocks …. Much of my advice for modern young ladies within would apply to the better looking sort of female gamer if she has an attractive figure.

      • Timothy permalink
        April 24, 2012 8:27 pm

        Kent, I am not sure, but are you trying to say you are insulting us? Could you be more specific? It is hard to tell. You Irish lassies beat around the bush like an autistic nun listening to Tommy and gripping the double-headed dildo sideways.

        Also, could you make a firm decision on your blog? You open and close your legs more than chgowiz.

    • Roger Moret permalink
      April 24, 2012 8:55 pm

      I hate when Kent takes his mouth off my dick and uses it to make words.

  16. Radovarl permalink
    April 24, 2012 5:28 pm


  17. Bob's Cunt permalink
    April 24, 2012 9:12 pm

    Sorry dozed off, Kent was talking.

  18. JRT permalink
    April 25, 2012 5:30 am

    Once again, Kent the English poofster of Pseudointellectual-Alley-on-Thames calls it all wrong. See Poag’s response to YDIS’s review:
    BY GEORGE I THINK POAG GETS IT! For once, he’s not asking, nay demanding, “WHO IS YDIS?”. No, instead Poag has evolved a notch up the ladder to social normative behavior and is asking “WHY YDIS” by looking at his Khuntmarred suckdungeon from a new perspective thanks to YDIS’s review and finally seeing it for what it truly is – a boring, derivative piece of shit.

    • Roger Moret permalink
      April 25, 2012 7:31 am

      Thoughts on Pogs comments:
      1. I thought Kent was long winded, sheeeeet. I had to take a couple of coffee breaks reading through that manifesto.
      2. Pog will bow to the buck and eventually have a (surprise) Cuntmar kickstarter
      3. Pog is completely clueless (still) about why he’s such a target rich environment: reveling in drawing shitting orc baby rapers like he’s defending the constitution from commies, lapsing into apparently unconscious anti-semitism at the drop of a hat, and deciding he’s Sherlock Holmes and making ill-advised guesses as to YDIS’s identity. I won’t even get into his laughable political diatribes that he can’t even back up (he’s apparently deleted arguments he can’t counter, first mark of a mental midget). In many ways, Pog is simply the worst excesses of the OSR taken to an extreme and thus a worthy dartboard for hurled tomatoes. Sadly, he’s probably the sort of guy who I’d gladly sit down with for a beer and twinkie if I bumped into him on the street, as long as he didn’t know too much about him.

    • Timothy permalink
      April 25, 2012 7:58 am

      That’s great how he takes mockery of his vaporware as demand for it.

  19. Lamtentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    April 27, 2012 9:38 pm

    I can’t help but pronounce his name as Raggy like Scooby Doo. I’m surprised the egotistical prick managed to raise almost $5000 towards purchase of his Gizmo from Gremlins water bong. Apparently people will give money away for anything these days. I wonder how long it will take for people to complain of it being vaporware when they find out Raggy blew the money on weed and rare Celtic Frost records.

    • April 30, 2012 12:47 pm

      I have to give Raggi credit. The difference between the Referee Group pack ($110) and the Melted by Slime pack ($175) is “a unique personalized greeting.” Basically, he’s selling four copies of his autograph for $65. It just goes to show that audacity is profitable.

      • Chainsaw permalink
        April 30, 2012 6:43 pm

        $65 for a personalized greeting from a *genuine* RPG celebrity – what a deal!

  20. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    April 29, 2012 1:41 pm

    Good lord, the Sheeple of the OSR. Throwing money at big fish in the little pond so those few fish can live out dreams of being gaming icons. Are any of these “products” actually any good? I mean really, is any of it anything people could not have drawn from their own imaginations? I always thought gamers, especially the “old school” kind, where some of the most imaginative people in the world. What a let down.

    Maybe there is hope (this is the part where you hear fife, drum, and brass softly playing patriotic music). We can leave gaming altogether, see where all this lame blog reading hero worship goes for 5 years, and come back en masse to bring a true Renassaince to gamers. We start a movement where GM’s are inspired to truly do it themselves. To stock their vanilla dungeons with their own pretend dust and centipedes. To create their own loosly Lovecraft fantasy worlds where wizards bugger 8 year old girls to caste magic missile spells. To create boring Call of Cthulhu adventures and use them for D&D. To keep money in their pockets to use to make themselves and their loved ones happy rather than pumping up the egos of underemployed dorks who fancy themselves insightful literati, Fat expat weirdo gamers who try to fool the masses by prepackaging old product invented by dead men, or self labeled “porn star” hucksters who spend half their jobless time defending their so called “product” from retards on the forums.

    Like a bad fever, this lame shit will eventually break, and gaming will go back to the people who just want to game and exercise their imaginations, rather than trying to share it all in the hopes of being complimented on that they do to pass the time.

  21. May 2, 2012 2:25 pm

    2012: Using the term “sheeple” and then disparaging the creativity and originality of others. Yeah.

    • Timothy permalink
      May 3, 2012 6:11 am

      Please point out the “creativity and originality” that is being disparaged.

      Yeah, that’s what I thought.

  22. kent permalink
    May 3, 2012 5:47 pm

    Rappan Athuk, which is freely available on filesharing websites, is the latest dungeon with monsters in it to provide its writers with lots of cash courtesy of Kickstarter.

    Rappan Athuk is awful mindless drivel. It goes like this:

    Monsters, monsters, monsters, monsters.
    Monsters, monsters, art.
    Monsters, monsters, monsters, monsters.
    Monsters, monsters, map.

    A special feature of this dungeon with monsters in it is that there are trap mechanisms in the dungeon with monsters in it. Trap mechanisms move stone slabs here and there to block or crush any adventurers in the dungeon with monsters in it.

    The language used to portray this dungeon with monsters in it is teeth grindingly banal and seems to be composed of sentences arranged through cut and cut and cut and paste from the monster pages of whatever D&D rulebook inspired its creator.

    Don’t listen to me though – join the crush at Kickstarter.

  23. Shitty McTits permalink
    May 3, 2012 6:23 pm

    Another gem from Alexis today:

    “Why is it every time I meet D&D players in the real world, they always turn out to be such fucking dweebs?”

    _Mutato nomine, de te fabula narratur._

    • Roger Moret permalink
      May 4, 2012 11:00 am

      “Why is it every time I just happen to read through an entire AlexisAss column, I begin shitting blood?”

  24. Bob's Cunt permalink
    May 4, 2012 8:47 am for just 29.95 you can learn to be a better DM and run combat faster. How many neckbeards do you think fell for this?

  25. Captain Kirk's Dick Blood permalink
    May 4, 2012 11:04 am

    I love that Alexis is riding the bus. Between his looks, his being overly serious about a game where adult men sit around and pretend to be elves, and not even having a shitbox car to drive, it’s no wonder the opportunities for sexual adventures are pouring in.

    Oh, and his little story about the couple talking about games on the bus sounds very, very made up.

  26. Deep Throat permalink
    May 4, 2012 2:11 pm

    I have a feeling you won’t be seeing JRT around here for awhile:
    And yes, I am in a position to know…

    • May 4, 2012 5:18 pm

      Judging by your IP address, yes you are. Creepy.

    • Timothy permalink
      May 5, 2012 6:39 am

      Whether that is JRT or not, if that guy is guilty, hopefully he gets cornholed the rest of his sorry life in prison.

    • May 5, 2012 10:51 am

      I’d also like to give a shout out to homeboy who busted in that door. That’s a fucking boss move.

      • kent permalink
        May 10, 2012 6:42 pm

        Scott — “It’d be a shame if something offended your delicate sensibilities on the troll blog.”

        If you can’t see the difference between mocking morons for their vain money grubbing efforts at artful dungeons and monsters and commenting on real world stuff about real people like this alleged rape then you are an idiot.

    • Scott permalink
      May 10, 2012 12:11 pm

      This literally could not be funnier.

      • Timothy permalink
        May 10, 2012 12:37 pm

        Yeah, Scott, an 18 year old girl getting raped – it does not get any funnier than that.

        Fuck you.

      • Scott permalink
        May 10, 2012 1:20 pm

        For fuck’s sake, it’s not that part and you know it. But have fun with your sanctimony.

      • Scott permalink
        May 10, 2012 1:28 pm

        (And don’t act like you wouldn’t be seeping with glee if this had been Poag or Maliszewski or any of the usual targets, instead of JRT looking and acting exactly like anyone would expect him to.)

      • May 10, 2012 1:49 pm

        Didn’t expect JRT to be a business owner. His picture looks like *sad trombone*. I was kinda pulling for him to be Vulcan Stev in real life.

      • Timothy permalink
        May 10, 2012 1:47 pm

        No, I would not be seeping with glee if those guys raped a girl. I would be disgusted, as I indicated above.

        It is not funny, bitch, no matter how much it has made you laugh.

      • Scott permalink
        May 10, 2012 1:52 pm

        So cry about it on the fucking internet, you sensitive daisy. It’d be a shame if something offended your delicate sensibilities on the troll blog. Somehow I doubt you’re missing a Take Back the Night rally to white-knight on YDIS.

      • May 10, 2012 2:02 pm

        Take Back the Night… that’s a good name for the Dwarf-Land megadungeon I’m kickstarting. Can you sneak-peek me stats for Granny Grimtits?

        Need new cosplay pix of your ol’ lady, and I’m not kidding.

      • Timothy permalink
        May 10, 2012 2:04 pm


        You say JRT raping an 18 year old girl could not be any funnier.

        I call you on it.

        That makes me sanctimonious, and then a sensitive daisy. My delicate sensibilities offended, I’d laugh if it was Jmal, I’m a white knight, blah, blah, blah.

        I had no idea would would melt down and play all those internet tough guy cards so easily.

        Beat off to Carcosa, punk.

      • Scott permalink
        May 10, 2012 2:32 pm

        Epic saga, Luke.

        brb melting down

      • kent permalink
        May 10, 2012 6:43 pm

        Scott — “It’d be a shame if something offended your delicate sensibilities on the troll blog.”
        If you can’t see the difference between mocking morons for their vain money grubbing efforts at artful dungeons and monsters and commenting on real world stuff about real people like this alleged rape then you are an idiot.

      • Scott permalink
        May 10, 2012 7:50 pm

        Sigh, mea culpa, kent. Although honestly, I don’t find anything funny about the crime and assumed that’d be obvious. I did find it funny that the flagship YDIS poster is apparently precisely the person one would expect. But like picking on Vulcan Stev, it was probably over the line even for this shithole, so my bad.

      • May 10, 2012 8:02 pm

        Vulcan Stev’s just fine. He’s doing some bashing of his own in the comments section of another blog:

        Stick to your guns, limpdick.

      • Scott permalink
        May 10, 2012 8:09 pm

        a) that’s really weird, b) how the hell did you run across that?

      • May 10, 2012 8:44 pm

        This will surprise you, but I spend a lot of time one-on-one with my computer — that’s a gaming blog, so it’s part of my beat. Kinsman’s D&D content is just laughably abysmal, which initially drew me to him, and now he’s doubling down on the silly by trying to monetize it on rpgnow. But he’s a Jesus nut who isn’t an absolute prick about it, so I find his weekly sermon posts comforting and the responses are amusing when he goes off the fundie script. I mentioned Stev earlier in this thread because I saw his comment a couple days ago and he was on my mind.

      • kent permalink
        May 10, 2012 8:53 pm

        Scott, the tone here is chaotic and the language is childish and appalling yet the criticisms of the osr are almost always valid. This place wouldn’t exist if the elite (snigger) of the osr fielded criticism on their own blogs and forums didn’t ban people for trying to weed out the stupid.

        YDIS doesn’t restrict his fire to the big shots of the osr which is counter-productive in my view but he accepts being abused for that.

        Id prefer if the language and tone shifted with the points remaining the same but I have about as much influence over the comments here as ydis herself.

      • Scott permalink
        May 10, 2012 8:56 pm

        I’ll have to add that one to the list of blogs I check occasionally to see if the owner has completely dropped his basket and started randomly shrieking at his readers, or doing so louder. I don’t have a blog roll anymore so I don’t see anything if it’s not on someone else’s roll.

      • May 11, 2012 6:42 am

        The gospel according to Vulcan Stev is great and all, but I think we’re losing sight of what’s truly important: cosplay pix

    • Scott permalink
      May 10, 2012 9:00 pm

      @kent: I like the ludicrously scatological tone. I explained /b/ and this place the other day as places where smart people go to act stupid, as contrasted with most forums where stupid people go to act smart.

      I am apparently the only person in my small circle of online acquaintances who sees value in the institution of trolling, though.

      • kent permalink
        May 11, 2012 12:28 am

        Ive never seen a good definition of ‘trolling’. I think the concept is a broad one and a single definition would not be useful. The term ‘troll’ is used most often to end discussion by way of accusation like the old reliables, ‘racist’, ‘homophobe’, ‘male chauvinist’. It would seem to include both such low brow activity as *saying the opposite of what everyone else is saying in order to hurt feelings* and also high minded irony-induced consternation in order to undermine group-think.

        I have to admit to performing acts of high minded irony-induced consternation in order to undermine group-think several times in the past when reason failed.

      • Timothy permalink
        May 11, 2012 7:01 am

        Scott – kudos for manning up with the mea culpa (even if it was to kent). Yeah, you weren’t laughing at what jrt did. If jrt had pulled a Pee Wee Herman it would be different, but in some cases, like this one, you just can’t separate the act from the actor, and laugh.

        We missed you at the take back the night rally last night.

        And, Kent, without jrt around, you might get your preference in a shift in language around here.

      • Scott permalink
        May 11, 2012 11:07 pm

        @Timothy: When I’m an asshole, which is unfortunately often, I try to cop to it. Far be it from me to be the divisive element that tears this happy family apart.

        @ydis/perdustin: The girl is aware of this forum, the reason why it has to be, and the requisite exhortations to show tits to a greater extent or in a suitably novel manner. While I can’t claim she has a nuanced view of WHY this is funny, she at least finds it funny. I will endeavor to provide tasteful cleavage photos insofar as is possible with her consent while maintaining the illusion that I’m above luring traffic to my sad weird little blog.

  27. kent permalink
    May 9, 2012 5:11 am

    Im not recommending anyone watches this footage of Kelly Thomas being attacked unless you’re in the right mood for a police brutality video. It is frankly unbelievable. It is instructive for those elements in society who lament the decline in police power over ‘social undesirables’.

    • kent permalink
      May 9, 2012 8:01 am

      I think the worst thing is that it reveals that most of the police from that jurisdiction at least believe that what was happening was acceptable. As each new cop arrives after the first two I was expecting him to say ‘WTF is going on here?’ Even the medics were indifferent. Deeply depressing.

      • May 9, 2012 4:12 pm

        Ruthless police beatings have been established as perfectly acceptable for over 20 years, since the cops in the Rodney King beating were found not guilty by a jury of civilians. We have empowered police to do almost anything under color of authority. The only reason the Kelly Thomas murderers might see justice is because his father is a retired PO.

      • Roger Moret permalink
        May 9, 2012 7:45 pm

        Did you just arrive in our world from the 1950s, before the civil rights riots and the 1968 Democratic Convention?
        Besides the Thomas guy asked for it. Everyone knows the correct procedure with the pigs is obsequious reverence, a big smile, and nodding head. I’ve actually had cops shake my hands after a traffic stop or random bullshit pullover as I walk down the road because I’m so compliant. Be polite, show deference, and don’t provoke no matter how many “funny” jokes about doughnuts flit across your brain. Contrast that with my best friend, who’s been tased, hit in the head with a flashlight, had his watch, necklace and contents of his wallet stolen, and spent many a delightful overnight in a puke covered jail cell as results of his interactions with our fine men in uniform. Of course, he’s never had a smart ass remark go by when it can be shouted out accompanied by the single finger salute.
        Five minutes of ass kiss is worth way more than 24 hours of getting fucked with.

      • kent permalink
        May 10, 2012 6:50 pm

        I posted about this. Im not looking for traffic so no link but those who know me can find it.

  28. Timothy permalink
    May 10, 2012 10:30 am

    Not that I disagree with what have written, Kent, but as the first of your “Dispatches from Diana” columns this is somewhat disapointing. Perhaps your Eowyn password needs to be revoked?

    Meanwhile, there is a lot of juicy crap happening in the OSR field. Faggi has less than a month to meet his second dickstarter goal of $15,000 – halfway there in terms of funding. Looks like his ultimate $150,000 target will not be met. Crom stiffed us on the Dumbermount deal, maybe he is making up for it here.

    Note the new, exciting artwork he has, too – two chicks wearing plague masks in a trench firing a cannon. By Jove, that is even more radical than barbarians with laser rifles on dinosaurs! Woo-fucking-hoo!

    And Geoffy is trying to be like Faggi, now. He is trolling OD&D forums begging for “weird” modules, which he will then desktop publish. Like his rancid Isle of the Unblown, every monster must be a nonsensical freak of nature that could not possibly exist. Even Kenty was sniffing around that one.

    C’mon, YDIS, we are still in a target-rich environment. Get off your ass!

  29. Shitty McTits permalink
    May 13, 2012 11:30 am

    Yeah, a new one from Alexis, although he’s got a way to go, apparently, to really make it above the fold for horrifying things OSR luminaries do:

    “The one comforting thing is that I don’t have the time to murder people or hide their bodies … though truth be told, any profiler of serial killers will tell you that a 47-year-old white male fits right into that groove.

    Hey, anyone getting freaked out right now?

    Don’t. This is all just a lot of drivel to keep you interested and coming back. Enjoy your day.”

    …sexual exploration? IT COUNTS THE HEXES ON THE MAP!

  30. Bob's Cunt permalink
    May 21, 2012 4:32 pm

    On the DragginNuts front the neckbeards are drooling over the a statue to Gygax:

    Looks like those auctions of Gary’s stained underwear paid off.

  31. Radovarl permalink
    May 22, 2012 4:24 am

    Here’s one you’re not likely to have seen, YDIS… Not sure if you’re familiar with Wright, but if you want some insight into where St. Jimmy is coming from theologically, take a look:

    • May 22, 2012 7:40 am

      Kinda tl;dr, but I take it Wright has a Bible boner? His The Night Land pastiches/homages are good, and based on those I picked up a copy of The Golden Age from a Borders fire sale. Tried to read it and it’s all dopey and shit not even two pages in, so I shelved it.

      • Radovarl permalink
        May 22, 2012 9:04 am

        Long story, short, Wright’s a graduate of the “Great Books” program at William & Mary, which before he converted from staunch atheism to circa 14th century Catholicism, made him a world-class know-it-all and general arrogant goofball SOB. (He named his children Orville and Wilbur, I’m not shitting you). Now that he has “seen the light” (literally; he claims to have had a conversion experience which among other things included a visit and nice chat with the Virgin Mary…), he has added “Frothing at the Mouth Lunatic with a Thin Veneer of Reason” to his resume. He’s a sophistical stuff shirt with delusions of disciplehood. I feel the same disdain for him that I do C. S. Lewis, both otherwise relatively enlightened individuals who, despite being insufferable boors, were at least rational, but who then subsequently went of the deep end out of an (evidently) insupportable excess of existential angst (Wright had a heart attack just before his conversion… huge surprise).

        I’ve always gotten the same nutty Vatican-fan vibe from St. Jimmy, and suspected Maliszewski had spent a little time sitting at the virtual feet of the Master, but had no confirmation of that until happening across the linked post.

        Yeah, I’ve read Wright’s Hodgson pastiches, or at least some of them. They’re okay, by which I mean they’re better than the trash by other authors that accompanied them in the same volumes. Never bothered with his other crap.

    • kent permalink
      May 22, 2012 5:45 pm

      When that guy says ‘Jesus this … and Jesus that …’ he is referring to the baby Jesus of legend, right, not some guy he knows? The manner in which religious people write and speak gives me the creeps. imperturbably uttering statements faint of interest, delivered with the faintest modulation, vessels through which banal thoughts course and are invested with mystery and utmost meaning.

      It is as if, in vengeance for a momentary lack of calm, a religious person’s sphincter might enact a crude commentary on the sanctity of their words with unexpected and violent pulsations.

      • Scott permalink
        May 22, 2012 6:02 pm

        “The manner in which religious people write and speak”

        There was a time when Christianity was a fortress of arts and letters, not (or in addition to) smarmy purse-lipped unction. I don’t have any skin in the game, but please don’t lump Homer, Dante, and Milton in with these durdles and mediocrities.

      • kent permalink
        May 22, 2012 6:31 pm

        In as much as Dante and Milton were religious they were assholes too. They were brilliant writers despite all the quackery in their heads not because of it. Being educated in those times they could hardly escape it though poor fellas.

        There should however for clarity be a new word for the kind of writing that takes place on the web and that can get you published nowadays. How about a new verb? —>>> To Moron <<<—

    • May 23, 2012 1:38 pm

      I read some of his recent posts, homie definitely has his Wayback Machine set to about the 15th century. Really straining to play catch-up for all those wafers he missed out chowing down on. Very entertaining — I’m ranking him behind Orson Scott Card for now, but he’s a comer.

  32. Scott permalink
    May 22, 2012 6:04 pm

    (I realize Homer wasn’t a Christian, but another example of an obviously religious guy who’s not a podshrieker or creepy uncle)

    • Timothy permalink
      May 23, 2012 12:17 pm

      Holy shit that guy is a piece of work. Warmongering for baby Jesus. No wonder Jimmie Mal licks his boots.

      I am referring to that Wright guy, not you Scott. Or Homer.

      • Scott permalink
        May 23, 2012 3:54 pm

        Now that I think about it, Homer (or the multiple Homers) may have been total simps by the standards of his/their times, too. Only the result was the Iliad, as opposed to whatever the hell it is that the fundagelicals and papists are producing of worth today. 😦


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