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World’s coolest church

March 2, 2012

They have an aquarium and they let you swim in it!

 

42 Comments leave one →
  1. Timothy permalink
    March 2, 2012 9:46 am

    Are you mad?!? Today the Dwimmershit dickstarter goes live, and you post a video of a Carblowsa ritual? You need to synergize. What would Faggi say?

    Hey JRT, as our token 1%er, you will no doubt want to contribute at the $10,000 level. Hurry, only one spot available!

    http://www.autarch.co/2012/03/backer-rewards-for-the-dwimmermount-kickstarter/

    • Radovarl permalink
      March 2, 2012 5:20 pm

      Wow. I thought you were joking about the $10,000 level. Whatever St. Jimmy is smoking over there in Grogland, I want some. You’d have to be a world-class idiot to donate that much to this mediocre project, even if you could easily afford it.

  2. Unclecarbuncle permalink
    March 2, 2012 1:39 pm

    FUKOFF TALK ABOUT DD THIS BLOG SUCK

  3. JRT permalink
    March 2, 2012 4:37 pm

    I MAY JOIN THAT CHURCH JUST SO I CAN TAKE A PISS IN THAT BAPTISMAL POOL – LET ME GO FIRST REVEREND! MAYBE I’LL LET OUT SOME JUICY FARTS UNDER WATER TOO. HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW BITCHES? AS FOR DIMMERDOUCHE, I THINK I WILL WAIT FOR THE $20,000 PATRON LEVEL WHICH WILL UNLOCK THE SECRET KIDDY DIDDLER LEVEL OF THE SUCK DUNGEON AND GET ME A BONUS COPY OF THE 20 LEVEL PEDOPHILE PERVERT CLASS. AT $10,000 I WOULD ONLY GET THE BONUS BACKYARD TENT CITY PEDOPHILE PRISON MAPS AND I WANT A COMPLETE SET OF EVERYTHING FOR THIS MASSIVE TURD THAT IS GOING TO LAND IN THE TOILET WITH A DULL THUD.

    • JRT permalink
      March 2, 2012 4:56 pm

      NOT TO MENTION YOU GET A CUSTOM MINIATURE SCULPTED FROM POAG ARTWORK OF AN EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY GETTING HIS ASSHOLE REAMED BY A WELL ENDOWED ORC WHO IS ALSO SHITTING. PAINSTAKINGLY DETAILED RIGHT DOWN TO THE TEARS AND THE CORN IN THE TURD.

      • CHACHI permalink
        March 9, 2012 5:14 pm

        do orcs eat corn?

  4. JRT permalink
    March 2, 2012 4:40 pm

    …ALL OF WHICH I WILL UPLOAD TO 4SHARED AND 7CHAN FOR THE UNWASHED MASSES IN THE 99% TO DOWNLOAD FOR FREE. FORGET LETTING YOU EAT CAKE – I WANT YOU TO EAT SUCK DUNGEON!!!!

  5. JRT permalink
    March 2, 2012 5:53 pm

    NEW REWARD LEVELS ANNOUNCED FOR DIMMERDOUCHE SHITSTARTER:

    $30,000 – STEPHAN POAG WILL DRAW YOUR CHILDREN BEING RAPED AND EATEN BY ORCS AND THEY ARE ALSO SHITTING. THIS FULL COLOR PORTRAIT OF YOUR CHILDREN BEING BRUTALLY SODOMIZED IS YOURS TO TREASURE ALWAYS AT THIS PATRONAGE LEVEL.

    $50,000 – AT THIS LEVEL OF PATRONAGE, JAMAL WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND SODOMIZE YOUR CHILDREN IN FRONT OF YOU WHILE WEARING A PUMPKIN MASK. PLUS YOU WILL GET A THIRD PDF OF DIMMERDOUCHE STATTED FOR F.A.T.A.L.

    • Roger Moret permalink
      March 4, 2012 9:36 am

      JRT my boy you actually made my stomach hurt from laughing so hard. I will never admit this in public. Here are some more:

      $25,000 Level: Zak and friends will shoot a live action porno of your adventurers banging each other in the halls of Dimmerdug. All lesions and sores edited out of close ups.

      $40,000 Level: Alexisass will give you a copy of his 293,300 page manuscript of his gameworld, and come to your house to explain in person his philosophy of gaming. He will tell you why Dimmerdug sucks and why anything you have written or done in your life sucks also. We are not responsible for any actions you may take beating the living shit out of this wanker when he manages to annoy you, your wife, you kids, your pets, your neighbors and anyone else within five minutes of his opening his pie hole. However, bonus is your house will function for a year on the energy created by the hot air Tao blows during his pontificating.

      • Chainsaw permalink
        March 4, 2012 2:36 pm

        One of my current players got kicked out of Alexis’ online game. Unsurprisingly, the player is a super cool dude. Broke out the Laphroaig whisky one afternoon and commanded some additional boozing. Always willing to MAKE SHIT HAPPEN – sends his guys into the spider lair, offers them up as bait for the monsters, gets lowered down the well on a rope – all kinds of good stuff.

      • March 4, 2012 3:48 pm

        “…got kicked out of Alexis’ online game.”

        That is a badge of honor. The dude should get a tattoo (or at least a T-shirt) to commemorate this event.

      • Roger Moret permalink
        March 4, 2012 4:13 pm

        Getting kicked out of Alexass’s campaign is a clear indication that said individual did not lick Tao’s butt crack, paint his toenails, or grovel when spoken to, or at the very least did not do them in the CORRECT way. I have to admit it’s been a guilty pleasure lately to watch idiots join his online campaign only to be violently ejected at the first sign they wish to do something other than ride the railroad car Alexissass has provided to them.

      • JRT permalink
        March 4, 2012 4:20 pm

        LOL ROGER! JAMAL JUST ANNOUNCED TODAY HE IS JUST SHY OF REACHING HIS SHITSTARTER GOAL FOR DIMMERDOUCHE WITHIN THE FIRST 48 HOURS. I AM OF MIXED EMOTIONS HERE. IT PAINS ME TO SEE THIS PEDOPHILE RETARD MAKE ANY MONEY, BUT AT THE SAME TIME I TAKE GREAT COMFORT IN THE FACT I CAN PROBABLY JIZZ AND SHIT ON A PIECE OF LOOSE LEAF GRAPH PAPER AND SUCKER THE OSR TURDOSPHERE OUT OF A QUICK $1000 IF I EVER NEED THE MONEY AND DON’T WANT TO RESORT TO POSING NUDE FOR POAG OR TAKING MONEY FROM ZAK TO BLOW ME LIKE A BOY WHORE.

      • JRT permalink
        March 4, 2012 4:23 pm

        I HATE TO BURST ANY BUBBLES AND NO OFFENSE TO YOUR FRIEND, BUT THE SO CALLED BADGE OF HONOR FOR GETTING KICKED OUT OF ALEXASS’S GAME IS QUICKLY RESCINDED BY THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE TO PLAY IN ALEXASS’S GAME OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL IN THE FIRST PLACE AND THAT MAKES YOU A FUCKING RETARD LIKE CORKY FROM LIFE GOES ON. SORRY TO BRING DOWN THE PARTY BUT HEY, SOMETIMES THE TRUTH HURTS.

      • Roger Moret permalink
        March 4, 2012 4:34 pm

        Dear God this is pure comedy gold. Please read the entire mess of comments, I can promise you laughter and song!

        http://taoscampaign.blogspot.com/2012/03/lower-gate-round-2.html

      • March 4, 2012 6:43 pm

        “But the players have to bend.”

        Alexis forgot to include ‘over’ at the end of that sentence.

      • JRT permalink
        March 4, 2012 8:06 pm

        ALEXASS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE MENTALLY RETARDED ARE GIVEN INTERNET ACCESS AND ALLOWED TO READ BOOKS AND OWN GAMES AND MADE TO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE NOT SIDESHOW FREAKS BUT NORMAL KIDS. THIS IS WHY THAT SHIT IS ILLEGAL IN AMERICA. I BLAME THE PARENTS.

      • JRT permalink
        March 4, 2012 8:14 pm

        WHY THE FUCK IS ALEXASS GOING ON AND ON ABOUT HEXES? COUNTING HEXES, MOVING THROUGH HEXES. YOU CAN’T MOVE THAT MANY HEXES. THAT HEX IS OCCUPIED. YOU CAN STILL MOVE ONE MORE HEX. YOU MOVED TOO MANY HEXES. HEXES HEXES HEXES!!! WHEN DO THEY ACTUALLY OH I DON’T KNOW FUCKING ROLEPLAY SOME KILLING AND TAKING STUFF AT EVEN THE BARE MINIMUM? IT’S AS EXCITING AS WATCHING GOD DAMN RAINMAN COUNT ALL THE GRAINS IN A SPILLED BAG OF FIVE POUND BAG OF RICE WHILE PICKING THEM UP.

      • Reid permalink
        March 4, 2012 10:39 pm

        The so-called porn stars Zak knows have retired (although I heard Satine Pheonix is giving 50-dollar blowjobs on the sly at a Hollywood comic shop), and his girlfriend is dying from AIDS in Canada. So the best he will do you is a free Google + session he’ll run in his shitty city setting for you. The streets look like numbers!

      • March 5, 2012 6:29 am

        Alexis’ “game” isn’t about role-playing, it’s about micro-management. Anyway, Alexis’ movement system is supposed to be thrilling (as long as you have memorized his interminable posts and reference his punctilious table).

  6. Chainsaw permalink
    March 2, 2012 5:54 pm

    I would donate, but no level comes with free booze.. 😦

    • Timothy permalink
      March 3, 2012 8:10 am

      If you donate some money to your local package store, you get free booze, and no waiting.

      Besides, Chainsaw, I had you figured as someone who did their own creating.

    • JRT permalink
      March 3, 2012 9:08 am

      CHAINSAW YOU ARE ALRIGHT IN MY BOOK. USUALLY PEOPLE WITH SAW IN THEIR USER NAMES ARE COMPLETE ASSBERGER ASSHAT SOCIAL RETARDS (AKA FUNKSAW IF I MAY) BUT YOU ARE ALRIGHT.

  7. JRT permalink
    March 3, 2012 9:09 am

    WHY AM I STILL SHOUTING? Okay better.

  8. March 3, 2012 11:51 pm

    Does he REALLY think some neckbeard living in his parents basement is going to pay $10 000 for a fucking dungeon?

    • JRT permalink
      March 4, 2012 7:11 am

      I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHICH SOCIALLY RETARDED NECKBEARD ACTUALLY TOOK A $250 SPOT FOR THIS SUCK DUNGEON TURD. I GUESS THEY USE THE MONEY THEY DON’T SPEND ON SOAP, SHAMPOO, DEODORANT, TALCUM POWDER TO COVER THE NASTY CROTCH SMELLS AND LAUNDRY DETERGENT TO PAY FOR THIS.

  9. Radovarl permalink
    March 4, 2012 4:18 pm

    Aaaaaaand, St. Jimmy is about to lose his chance to commemorate the anniversary of Gygax’s death (oh, and the birth of his blog). A little surprising that he would neglect this, as he has clearly demonstrated that he feels he’s the True Successor to the legacy. I guess he’s made as much use of EGG as he can, and now thinks the student has surpassed the master. If he posts something between now (7:22 EST) and midnight, we’ll all know that he reads YDIS regularly :). I’m actually not as outraged as I should be; it steams me more when he lauds HPL or JRRT, as he has nothing but contempt for the worldview of the former and pays lip service to the latter while not understanding a word. At least he and Gygax have something in common–they’re both lunatic religious fanatics.

    • JRT permalink
      March 4, 2012 4:30 pm

      I THINK JAMAL HAS MORE RESPECT FOR THAT DEAD DRUGGIE KID FROM DEGRASSI HIGH SCHOOL THAN HE EVER DID GARY. JAMAL IS A CANADIAN AFTER ALL AND CANADA IS LIKE AMERICA’S LITTLE MENTALLY RETARDED BROTHER.

  10. JRT permalink
    March 4, 2012 4:26 pm

    I WOULD PAY FOR A MINIATURE OF ZAK PRINCESS THAT IS PAINSTAKINGLY DETAILED RIGHT DOWN TO THE SYPHILIS POX MARKS AND THE KARPOSI’S SARCOMAS FROM THE FULL BLOWN AIDS.

    • Unclecarbuncle permalink
      March 4, 2012 6:24 pm

      PUTT THE DUDES COCK BACK IN YOUR MOUTH AND SHUT TH FUCKUP JRT. FUCKING ASHOLE BLOWHARD

      • JRT permalink
        March 4, 2012 8:08 pm

        STFU CORKY FROM LIFE GOES ONI! YGGR!!!!!

  11. Reid permalink
    March 5, 2012 11:33 pm

    Wow. There’s comedy gold going on, like Zak running a character in family man Jamal’s suckdungeon (the thrilling adventure featured…orcs, centipedes, and dusty, empty rooms), and we are reading about a church with an aquarium?

    I think “Jump the Shark” is what is happening here.

  12. March 6, 2012 4:59 am

    Suckdungeon is feverishly working on his own OSR offering now that he has seen these kickstarters working. When it fails he will be back, bitterer than ever.

  13. JRT permalink
    March 6, 2012 7:27 am

    THERE IS NO FUCKING SHARK IN THAT BAPTISMAL TANK TO JUMP. ONLY MY FLOATER TURDS. AND IF THERE WAS A SHARK IN THAT TANK, IT WOULD STILL MAKE FOR A MORE THRILLING RPG SESSION THAN JAMAL’S SUCK DUNGEON OR ALEXASS’S HEX COUNTING GAME.

  14. March 6, 2012 7:44 am

    Alexis’ game: he changed all the rules, won’t tell you what they are, then acts like your a fool if you do things wrong or won’t wade through 5700 blog posts to find a clue- because blog posts are obviously the tedious & excrutiating way to archive, which gels nicely with the general tone of proceedings.

    “Go, go go”
    “Go”
    “Ready”
    * Cue pedantic snipe over the guy saying “ready” instead of “go”. I still say that is more interesting than 67 posts about how to move across a hex. Including the one where ALexis forgot to add hex to his sentence, ensuring another 40 posts of pomposity & barely concealed contempt for the only people submissive enough to game with him.

  15. March 6, 2012 10:58 am

    Mr. Suck’s favorite designer is on the forums begging Jamal to put out more amazing material. He can’t wait for Shitty Gods! Will he go so far as to offer to suck the Bore of Baltimore’s wimpy cock? Only time will tell…

    http://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=54978

    • JRT permalink
      March 7, 2012 6:35 pm

      And then JaMal dissed him for not asking through the appropriate channels where the fuck Pretty Gods is. Jesus mother fucking Christ I think JaMal has caught the social retardation Assbergers from Alexass…

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