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This kinda horseshit drives me nuts…

January 20, 2012

So, numbnuts over here calls itself a game reviewer in its blog header, but plays coy when it comes time to call out the dogs. Basically this shithead is saying “Hey guess what! I got a rancid, stinking load of curdled hobo semen blasted in my mouth for free, because I don’t have to pay for material. Yuck! But I’m not going to tell you what the fuck it is, so you’ll end up paying to have this rancid, stinking load of curdled hobo semen blasted in your mouth, and it’s really hard to avoid because it looks very professional and enticing. Sucks for you, but I don’t want to dam my flow of free goodies with an honest review. Oh well!”

If you’re not willing to provide the community the service of writing a bad review when it’s merited, don’t fucking call yourself a reviewer. All this douche does is crap out one review hand-job after another, including for Chuggy Cumdumpster’s unrelenting stream of abysmal piss, which is free anyway so I hardly see the point.

Good lord this just makes me goddamn crazy, what a motherfucking hobbit-dicked POS.

60 Comments leave one →
  1. Timothy permalink
    January 20, 2012 1:31 pm

    You say, “rancid, stinking load of curdled hobo semen blasted in your mouth” as if it is a bad thing.

  2. kent permalink
    January 20, 2012 2:10 pm

    Why have you moved on with such haste from your last post about T. Foster? Guilt?

    • January 20, 2012 6:50 pm

      Listen bro, if you got a boner for the dude, go to town. That Cohen dude in the comments has the same boner, why don’t you guys chat about it there? I’m not really acquainted with T. Fister, other than I think he was one of the head pitchfork wavers over Carcosa maybe? I get all the clowns over there confused…

      • kent permalink
        January 20, 2012 7:43 pm

        Just do what I tell you.

  3. Lamtentations of Gary Gygax's Ghost permalink
    January 20, 2012 9:19 pm

    ‘Reviewing for free shit’ is the standard of intarweb reviewers these days. ‘Reviewing for free real product I can resell on ebay’ is usually the penultimate goal of any neckbeard fat assed reviewer. Few can attain this level of greatness, though having to get by pulling their tiny collective manhood over a lousy PDF file. If these cocksuck reviewers had two sheckles to rub together they could BUY the fucking product and then honestly review it but they’re all penniless assgrabtastic shitheads that usually defend getting free product with the mantra ‘no one can afford to BUY all the product that needs to be reviewed’. If you can’t buy anything don’t pretend to be a fucking reviewer. If you want to be a glad handing pan handler just say, “Send me free shit so I can masturbate all over it!!!!”

  4. A Non permalink
    January 20, 2012 11:04 pm

    What an interesting concept. A Troll with enough stamina to make a blog!

    • JRT permalink
      February 4, 2012 11:08 am

      Look! A talking vagina!

  5. January 21, 2012 7:27 am

    Leave Chuggy out of it. Errant is a good game…well, except for the title…and some of the art is craptacular.

  6. January 21, 2012 12:57 pm

    “what a motherfucking hobbit-dicked POS.”

    ….in the shire, ‘thumb dick’ is a porn name.

  7. January 23, 2012 5:28 am

    Did you say reviews?

    http://www.tenfootpole.org/

    Hi mom!

    • January 23, 2012 6:41 am

      Your review of ‘Smuggler’s Bane’ was serviceable. In future, please include personalized attacks and smutty language.

      Individual reviews should be preceded by discussion of how you acquired the material. Did you purchase it (haha, as if)? Did the company provide you with a free copy with your explicit agreement to provide a review? Did you contact them and say ‘Hey check out my review site, send me free stuff and I’ll review it…”? Update all reviews with correspondence received from the publisher after the fact.

      • January 23, 2012 7:08 am

        I understand where you’re coming from, but it seems a little pretentious to announce “I buy everything I review.” Maybe I’ll stick that in the sidebar.

        And yes everything is purchased, and always will be.
        http://tenfootpole.org/ironspike/?p=5

      • January 23, 2012 8:23 am

        Hmm. You have more disposable income than good sense, but I award you a bronze star for exploring into the periphery of the industry and exposing yourself to the perils therein.

        Attention all — this man is on my “I don’t despise him yet” list.

  8. January 23, 2012 7:17 am

    In this linked post, Alexis is looking for a new player. Do YOU meet his stringent standards?

    He says, “A lot of people around the blogosphere seem to think I must be painted black…” I couldn’t help but imagine Alexis doing an impersonation of Al Jolson. (I’m feeling much better now.)

    • Timothy permalink
      January 23, 2012 10:02 am

      I’m sure sure some of L’il Lexi’s best friends are painted black.

    • Radovarl permalink
      January 23, 2012 2:13 pm

      Jesus. ” The campaign is played on a blog, so the first thing a new player needs to have is an ability to express his or her self in the written word.” Well, it might help if Alexis could express HIM- (or HER-) self in “the written word”, grammatically. Oh, and it wouldn’t hurt if he weren’t such a pompous windbag, too…

    • Roger Moret permalink
      January 24, 2012 4:09 pm

      I’d love to join Alexis Asperger’s campaign, but unfortunately I’ve already scheduled two lumberjacks to kick in my ballsack with steel toed shoes this week while blasting the soundtrack to Grease on a jambox. Come to think of it, that’s EXACTLY like playing in a campaign GM’d by Queen Alex, so I’m going to cancel that appointment and just send Tao Von Dao an email.

      • January 25, 2012 6:02 am

        Actually, I think it’s the soundtrack to Grease II.

      • Roger Moret permalink
        January 31, 2012 9:03 am

        LOL. Alexisass kicks out another player from his online campaign. You couldn’t write shit this funny if you tried. Bets on over/under how long it takes for Tao to be be playing “with himself”, having kicked all those morons out of his campaign? (I know, I know, safe bet is the “under”, but the line to be publicly abused by Asperger seems to run around the block…that is, if you meet his stringent gaming standards!)
        http://bxblackrazor.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-am-douche-bag.html

    • Radovarl permalink
      January 31, 2012 10:16 am

      Sad. Thing is, we make fun of Alexis so much only because he’s such a big target. Most of the pathetic old wankers over at Mom’s Basem… ur K&KA seem as if they’re probably similarly inflexible, minatory, hand-wringing martinets when they DM, whether online or not. We just don’t get to watch the fireworks. What I’m missing is why any of these people think so highly of themselves. Gene Weigel syndrome (henceforth to be known as “GWS”) I suppose.

      • April 6, 2012 9:37 am

        “What I’m missing is why any of these people think so highly of themselves. Gene Weigel syndrome (henceforth to be known as “GWS”) I suppose.”

        Well, self important enough to get things named after me….

        “DELUSION OF GENE WEIGEL PERSECUTION DISORDER” doesn’t even mention “Radovarl”…

  9. January 23, 2012 7:19 am

    Awaiting moderation?

    What’s up with that?

    • January 23, 2012 8:12 am

      If you put multiple links in a comment, it gets caught in WordPress’s spam filter. If it’s about Dislexis, it gets caught in my “He’s too tedious to merit regard” filter.

  10. Radovarl permalink
    January 24, 2012 3:47 pm

    Stefan Poag’s latest work.. in case anyone cares. Doesn’t appear to incorporate any of his “trademark” themes (but I didn’t look that closely, just in case).

    http://www.acaeum.com/forum/post-191568.html#191568

    • Roger Moret permalink
      January 24, 2012 4:12 pm

      If you squint, there is probably an orc shitting somewhere in that mess.

    • Timothy permalink
      January 25, 2012 6:20 am

      Wow! A dungeon adventure that has sci fi elements! More unbridled creativity and originality from the OSR! Take that, motherfuckers!

  11. January 26, 2012 11:56 am

    Some jackhole is selling his Metamorphosis Alpha module for 14 bucks (that is the “reduced” price) plus shipping. So 20 bucks for a 36 page module about a haunted hut on a starship. Anybody who doesn’t try to get this shit for free is an idiot who is just fueling the stardom dreams of another nobody in the OSR.

    Everybody should try to get free versions of whatever they want. 4shared, scribd, whatever it takes. Don’t let these idiots make a dime off you. Fight the power!

    • January 26, 2012 2:24 pm

      Actually, the ‘jackhole/nobody’ at issue is part of Jim Ward’s company, WardCo. The overpriced module is published under the aegis of WardCo. A person obtaining a ‘free version’ is indirectly harming the game’s creator.

  12. Reid permalink
    January 26, 2012 11:11 pm

    Actually, the ‘jackhole/nobody’ at issue is part of Jim Ward’s company, WardCo.—

    Oh wow, a superstar. He must get so much pussy its insane.

    A person obtaining a ‘free version’ is indirectly harming the game’s creator—

    Cry a river, fag.

    • January 27, 2012 6:24 am

      Don’t be that way, lover. I thought we had something special?

    • Timothy permalink
      January 27, 2012 10:02 am

      Actually it is directly harming Ward to get a pirated copy. He has some serious health issues, and it is good to help out with that and get something cool in exchange.

      And, unless I missed something, he is not one of the guys trying to bank on his friendship with Gary back then, demanding tribute for 30 year old work, unlike Kask and Mentzer and Kuntz.

      So, !: your “fight the power” meme is misdirected.

      He’s a decent guy who did some decent games, and is making one available in hard copy for the first time in a while.

      So, Reid: Fuck off, noodledick.

      • January 27, 2012 1:53 pm

        His Greyhawk Adventures hardback is, without a doubt, the absolute worst product I have ever purchased. Even if he got nerfed because TSR was in a pissing match with Gary and they were trying to keep Greyhawk but create new, non-Gary stuff for it, it is just an awful, wretched waste. I defy anyone to cite something noteworthy from that shitty book.

      • Timothy permalink
        January 27, 2012 2:19 pm

        Well, for starters, there’s that…um…

        Also, there’s…er…

        And…guh…

        Hmmmmm. You’re right, that blew chunks.

      • January 30, 2012 3:27 pm

        My very first rpg was Ward’s Gamma World 2e boxed set, and that introduction to the hobby has provided almost 30 years of enjoyment. I’m more than happy to hand him more money.

  13. Timothy permalink
    January 27, 2012 10:07 am

    And everybody be sure to check out Faggi’s latest sales pitches. One is talking up his latest save-or-die snorefest, the other about his group’s taste for murder, racism, and religious intolerance. Be sure to support Faggi’s Serbian Film game-style!

  14. January 27, 2012 11:55 am

    Wait a sec. If we want to help sickly game designer guys, why are we picking on guys like Faggi and his butt buddies? Lames Faggi the Last sounds and looks healthy to you? Nasally voice, jellied body, long greasy ass hair. Diabeties and high blood pressure will take this weirdo out. Zak Faggot is going to eventually catch Mandy’s AIDS. Carcosa guy will finally get caught diddling a 3rd grader and will need legal fees. Stop picking on them and buy their shit! They need the scratch.

    • Roger Moret permalink
      January 30, 2012 9:35 am

      I’d rather support Jimbo Ward than any of the OSR “geniuses” that will be forgotten in a couple years unless they make headlines going postal at a gaming con because no one appreciated the 359th shitty d100 chart they post on their website. Meta Alpha is balls to the walls kick ass. I’ll drop a buck or two into his cup to keep the dude alive.

      • JRT permalink
        February 2, 2012 7:36 pm

        I don’t know I would gladly support some OSR cut and paste fatbeard if they were trying to raise money for their sex change operation. CUT THAT JUNK BETWEEN YOUR LEGS OFF BRO! BLOW THAT SHIT UP! Before you get the fatbeard titty cancer FOR REALS!

      • JRT permalink
        February 2, 2012 7:38 pm

        (oh and picture Alexass when you read that)

  15. FuckYourNDA permalink
    January 29, 2012 10:29 am

    5E@DDXP
    Qwk updt on wy hom PLZ repost on enwrld, therpg .net, kk, wotc, etc plaid 4 time. All class plaid

    Slck vrsn of 4e laid out rght

    Mybe no set sklz but indie pick yur own I waz a farmhand n get +2 milking cow Not Sure

    Stat chekz 4 skilz If DC=STAT then no roll, u win Else add stat bonus to d20 to beat DC

    Some spelz r d20+stat bonuz 2 set DC then enmy adds stat bonus 2 d20 2 sav

    Some wiz spelz ae feats mage armor gives bonus all day long as feat, not a spell
    Fire jav is at-will 1d6 INT vs REF, but not stated that way

    Char sht looks like 2E Gme feelz like 2E, BUT IT IS $E AT HEArT

    is good. needz lots of tweaks. det mag is at wil. dont use at will dailt, encounter, integrated in 2 game Feelz rght

    DMs were good but monte sux as dm not in to any but combat suxxor

    DDNxt not 5e cause it’s reedit/layout of 4e

    fke email ydis pst anyway

    • Bob whiskers permalink
      January 29, 2012 11:17 am

      You dumb prick, what the fuck is wrong with you

    • JRT permalink
      February 2, 2012 7:39 pm

      What a fucking retard. You got to play 4e…

  16. JRT permalink
    February 3, 2012 11:03 am

    Well, the announcement of a new edition of D&D has created a whole new set of poor little victims in the D&D victim culture. There’s a growing movement of retards who experience severe butt hurt when somebody doesn’t swallow the WOTC marketing department cum shot in the mouth and calls the upcoming new edition of D&D 5e instead of corporate approved D&D Next. They feel that have been extremely violated by this heinous crime as if they were gang raped or sodomized. Hey you socially retarded fuckheads who still plive in your parents basements: JUST BECAUSE HASBORG IS CALLING IN D&D NEXT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT IT IS STILL THE FIFTH EDITION OF D&D!!!!! STOP LETTING YOURSELF GET SODOMIZED EMOTIONALLY BY SHIT LIKE THIS CHRIST YOU PROBABLY WOULD ENJOY THAT!

    • Radovarl permalink
      February 3, 2012 1:47 pm

      Link? I’m not about to go wading through hundreds of pages of ENWorld, Dragonsfoot, WotC.com and RPG.net bullshit just to be mildly amused. Point me straight to the funny!

    • Chainsaw permalink
      February 4, 2012 7:31 am

      D&D “Next” … barf.

      • JRT permalink
        February 4, 2012 9:16 am

        D&D NEXT FAILURE

  17. Timothy permalink
    February 3, 2012 11:16 am

    Hey, Poag has a post about book banning. Geoffy Mac popped in with, “When I was a child, reading about rape, massacres, torture, etc. didn’t bother me at all.”

    Yes it did, kid. This explains a lot.

    Nice to see Poag doing public service like this as atonement.

    • Radovarl permalink
      February 3, 2012 1:48 pm

      Again, do you think I have Poag’s blog bookmarked? As if.

    • Roger Moret permalink
      February 3, 2012 9:40 pm

      Here it is, I keep it pinned on my browser for the daily giggle:

      http://stefanpoag.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/are-bad-books-good-for-young-brains/#comment-2890

      Funny how Poag didn’t mention “Mein Kampf” as one of the childhood favorites he looks back on fondly, since he’s been so influenced by the guy who wrote it….

    • Roger Moret permalink
      February 3, 2012 9:43 pm

      “Here’s the cover art for Barrowmaze.

      I think Stefan Poag has really captured the essence of the dungeon.”

      It was written by a 6 year old? That’s the dungeon essence you are looking for, my friend?

      http://discourseanddragons.blogspot.com/2012/01/barrowmaze-cover-art-revealed.html

    • Roger Moret permalink
      February 5, 2012 2:12 pm

      Pog also has a blog about how he is teaching inner city kids how to read. If this is true, I feel really bad about some of the things I have said about him here….if teaching these kids to read “The Turner Diaries” helps them get ahead in the world, we should all give him a round of applause!

    • JRT permalink
      February 6, 2012 6:11 pm

      Stefan Poag: Yet another OSR PERVERT who has gone out of his way to GAIN ACCESS TO CHILDREN…
      AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SEE THIS SICK PATTERN OF PEDOPHILIA IN THE OSR TURDOSPHERE????

      • Roger Moret permalink
        February 7, 2012 11:30 am

        Agreed, maybe we shouldn’t have given him such a hard time, drawing child rape is one thing, but Pog seems to be desperately grooming here. I’ll support Pog’s shitty art (pun absolutely intended) if he’d keep his ink-stained hands to himself.

  18. JRT permalink
    February 4, 2012 9:13 am

    Just so you don’t think I only pick on the social retards of the OSR, check out what this 4RON turd burgler over at Action Point has to say:
    http://theactionpoint.wordpress.com/2012/02/03/opportunity-attacks-osr-hypocrisy-and-playtests/

    Hypocrisy committed by a bunch of elderly fatbeards desperately in need of a good shot of talcum powder in the crotch area gets this 4e retard all in a hissy fit foaming at the mouth? Dude, you saw ARMY COMBAT and this is what you were over there fighting for? Your edition of D&D? CHRIST YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON!

    • Chainsaw permalink
      February 5, 2012 11:25 am

      I love all these angry 4oron faggots who thought they were special, that they were playing the Official Bestest Edition 4Evar.. Guess what? WotC banged you and left before the sun came up. Welcome to the real world.

    • February 6, 2012 6:28 am

      Why does he care – that’s the question I wish to be answered. He bought all the OSR-crap, according to him, and he expected them to play the 4e way? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!11!! Moron x2!

    • JRT permalink
      February 6, 2012 11:34 am

      The 4RONS need to realize the reason WOTC is on the toilet pinching out 5e is because the MISERABLE FAILURE that was 4e SUCKED ASS more than any other edition of the game. That is why WOTC isn’t looking to 4e at all but instead all the other prior editions and Pathfinder too when they try to do it right this time. WOTC is gladly throwing the socially retarded 4e fans under the bus, not that they don’t deserve it.

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