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Unmasked

June 22, 2011

Stefan Poag settled his heaving, tear-soaked bosom long enough this morning to make a good point. A lot of peckerwoods come around here to mouth off and fling turds because they’re too timid to do it on their own blogs. Well guess what ladies? Time to blow shit up.

Thanks to the wonders of WordPress analytics, I’ve been been able to backtrace the shit out of you fuckers with 29.7% accuracy. You’re cover’s blown, dickweeds… and now consequences will never be the same. Let’s find out who these hobbitdicks really are:

Now that everyone knows who you bastards are, maybe you’ll be a little more respectful in your comments.

Edit: Commenter ‘cheese’ has asked that ‘yourdungeonissuck = Bill Silvey’ be added to the list.

59 Comments leave one →
  1. Timothy permalink
    June 22, 2011 2:41 pm

    OK that’s bullshit. Nunya has a much greater grasp of the English language than Rob “No syntax? No problem!” Conley.

    • NUNYA permalink
      July 31, 2011 11:34 pm

      HEY I RESEMBLE THAT REMARK!

      :p
      -NUNYA

  2. June 22, 2011 3:19 pm

    Respect? You show me some respect! I’ve JUMPED OFF DIVING BOARDS, BITCH!

  3. June 22, 2011 3:43 pm

    Unmasked?

    Big news. Like ‘TMI Blast Radius’ kind of big.

  4. Kent permalink
    June 22, 2011 5:23 pm

    29.7% is not even a prime number.

  5. Russell the love muscle permalink
    June 22, 2011 5:41 pm

    29.7 % isn’t that the number of viewers who are shocked at the artwork in Lamentations of a Fudge Packer?

  6. Radovarl permalink
    June 23, 2011 4:59 am

    Chris Burke? Really? :).

  7. Sykirobme permalink
    June 23, 2011 6:41 am

    At least you posted a pic of my good side!

  8. June 23, 2011 10:11 am

    Badmike: When you and Breeyark were the last ones in the hot-tub during NTRPG, who made the first move? You probably had to sit at different tables the next morning while eating your Denver Omelettes; no one else would have understood what two kindred spirits shared that night after Mountain Dew, red liquorice and Cheetos had awakened other, more primal apetites… certainly your friends at the Tea Party rallies would have made cracks about ‘Log Cabin’ Republicans if they knew (speaking of Log Cabins… did you remember to pick up more Aunt Jemima frozen waffles? Tommorw is Friday and you’ll want them for your six hour Skype game…)… but the way he said exactly what you were thinking about AD&D initiative… and the feeling of the hot water bubbling up around your man-breasts… if it feels so right, how can it be so wrong?

  9. June 23, 2011 10:17 am

    It’s actually sort of fabulous. Every time you mention me on this blog, it is as though you get into your car and drive people over to my blog. My numbers jump, I get new viewers and in general no one seems to complain over there.

    Could you please mention me in every post you make from now on?

    • Timothy B. Shit permalink
      June 23, 2011 10:40 am

      You’re certainly not going to get more people based on content, Alexa, so it can’t hurt to beg for attention here.

    • June 23, 2011 12:46 pm

      re: more Alexis mentions

      Oh, absolutely!

  10. Kent permalink
    June 23, 2011 8:07 pm

    By the way Suk Donjon, who made you the boss of these fine fellows, splendid scribes all? Poag makes the point that this is more a club of masked snickerers with you as titular head (a sort of tithead) than a blog and the greater offense derives from your subordinates’ senseless reflected gabbling. If I might say you are one of the worst pied pipers ever.

    As time passes like a cheerleader with prematurely sagging breasts you may have to step aside and let fresh totty with the latest twists of vituperative flaunt their sexy talk. If you are wise you will select your successor before you are deposed. Yourdungeonissuck is just too important for one valley girl to reign forever.

    i will my maintain my role as a cherished independent observer with a sort of galactic integrity.

    • June 23, 2011 9:28 pm

      I’m okay with flaunting my sloppy titties. Not even gonna wear a sports bra, just gonna let those sassy cassies swing like a coupla pears in tube socks.

    • June 24, 2011 7:01 am

      Hey Kunt your mouth is still prettier than a two dollar crack whore’s. You’re getting repetitive though, might want to grab a pen, sit down and write some new lyrics. And YDIS stop writing to me asking for my used panties. They’re reserved for someone else.

      • June 24, 2011 8:01 am

        Okay. Tell your mother to enjoy them, but she’ll need to tuck back her dick to preserve the illusion.

        But first she’ll have to take her dick out of your dog’s asshole.

    • Kent permalink
      June 24, 2011 12:50 pm

      Greendribble,

      On the post immediately previous to this you said to someone,

      You’re far more inane and amusing than the English faggot, although he’s got a mouth that’s prettier than a crack whore.

      Above you say,

      Hey Kunt your mouth is still prettier than a two dollar crack whore’s.

      and then, let me stress, you immediately follow this with,

      You’re getting repetitive though

      Your embarrassment at being shamed by such naked irony will be in direct proportion to how intelligent you are. Yes?

  11. Roger Moret permalink
    June 23, 2011 11:03 pm

    Gives me something to do between driving the cab on the night shift, stopping and getting freebies from hookers for rides to the train station, and cleaning jizz off the back seats of the hack.

  12. June 24, 2011 8:06 am

    She can’t, suckhole. She’d have to push you out of the way. With the knot firmly in your ass that’ll be a long time. Not that you mind amiright?

    • June 24, 2011 12:29 pm

      Use the ‘reply’ feature to reply to comments. Maybe you’re Chris Burke?

      • June 24, 2011 1:03 pm

        Please add yourdungeonissuck = Bill Silvey to list.
        thnx

      • June 24, 2011 3:46 pm

        Done, Sherlock. Where can people send congrats on you being the first to solve the puzzle of my identity?

      • Kent permalink
        June 24, 2011 6:18 pm

        Get away from the curtain Toto, naughty doggy.

  13. June 24, 2011 4:09 pm

    Just admit to Jim LotFP that his last bowel movement is much better than anything you ever published on ‘The Delver’s Dungeon’ and it will be just ducky.

    • June 24, 2011 5:38 pm

      Raggi’s last bowel movement is NOT better than ‘Quest of the Mist Golem.’ NO FUCKING WAY.

    • June 24, 2011 8:03 pm

      Hahahaha fucking OUTSTANDING work cheese! Just when I’m like ‘Christ this guy is tedious…’ you come up aces by getting Stewie Poag to make an ass of himself!!!

      You’re all right, kiddo!

      • June 24, 2011 8:51 pm

        It’s a little late for damage control, isn’t it?

      • June 25, 2011 6:10 am

        Way too late, bro! Hustle out to the blogs and forums and spread the word!!!

  14. Gene Weigel permalink
    June 24, 2011 4:57 pm

    Is it getting “hot” in here, or what? Just me?

    The misplaced hostility of three decades run over by the ice cream truck. And we don’t even know it. Most of us don’t even see it. And some of us came in after the fact, anyway.

    The point is that the poison is inherent, today. It started seeping in, then blossomed into full flower during the 2e years, and it’s squeezed out everything since. Writers, fans, and everything. “The best minds of my generation, destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked…”

    This is just another symptom of the disease.

  15. Valandil permalink
    June 25, 2011 9:26 pm

    yourdungeonissuck, just out of curiosity, would you tell me how old are you?

    • June 25, 2011 9:45 pm

      I just turned 9 years old.

      • Valandil permalink
        June 25, 2011 11:41 pm

        Hm. Are you ashamed of your own age?

      • June 26, 2011 6:17 am

        Hm. Hm. Let’s see… hm. Hold on a moment, I want to preface my answer by thinking out loud in writing… here we go… Hm. Ah, there it was! Hm. Hm. A grand question and one that deserves the full powers of concentration at my disposal. Summoning concentration… hold just a moment… hm. There – I’ve done it! Hm. A moment old chap, I’m shifting my pipe from turd-cutter to piehole. Hm. Much better. Hm.

        Hope that suffices, hm?

      • Valandil permalink
        June 26, 2011 10:42 am

        Its really sad that you, being around your forties, do this kind of stuff. It’s not even funny, it’s just… sad, lame. Poor creature.

  16. Kent permalink
    June 26, 2011 9:38 am

    You are dragging the ass out of this post Ms Suck and your banner against Mediocrity Tarted Up With Egotism For Profit is being soiled by the stinky fingers of the anonymous brave, a daft coalition of Halfwits Against Mediocrity and Tasteless Talentless Greedy Pauper Gamers.

    Your best post so far was “Guest Columnist”.
    https://yourdungeonissuck.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/guest-columnist/

    Guest Columnist is the thing wherein we’ll you’ll catch the conscience of these kings.

  17. Radovarl permalink
    June 26, 2011 5:10 pm

    Jesus, Kent, give the adjectivitis a rest for a few posts, why don’t you? You’re starting to trip over yourself, and you didn’t make a great deal of sense half the time to begin with.

  18. Kent permalink
    June 26, 2011 5:51 pm

    For some reason I associate adjectives with making fun of halfwits and I like to give them the ol’ one two rather than be too selective. When you make a study of fools you learn that they are diverse and to discriminate among them the philosopher must employ all the correct adjectives.

    You seem like an intelligent person Radovarl. I hope I can learn even more from you but don’t be alarmed if in emulating Bach’s six part fugues I detonate the occasional six part adjectival bomb.

  19. Radovarl permalink
    June 27, 2011 4:34 am

    Intelligent? Aren’t you forgetting that I’m Chris Burke?

    I can sympathize with the desire to unleash both barrels of your verbal fury at some of these dorks, but one is reminded of Nietzsche’s admonition, which I find analogously apropros, concerning fighting monsters :). Having made baiting fatbeards and divers breeds of self-serious goofballs something tantamount to a hobby since long before you appeared on the scene, I’ve lamentably repeatedly fallen into the jagged vise-like maw of that particular bear trap myself on a number of occasions. I think I’ll follow your lead (assuming you removed your blog yourself, on purpose), and likewise remove myself from the orange tinted Cheeto-sweat-stained arena of combat. It’s quite evidently stultifying, and one’s gotta know when to quit.

  20. Kent permalink
    June 27, 2011 7:03 am

    Radovarl, now I want to know who you are. Were you on Dragonsfoot? Have I commented on your blog? I hope I was kind. You’re right. Harsh doses of sanity even from YDIS have not made a dent and in the comments here the ‘good humoured’ acknowledgement like a resentfully drawled prayer has become a strange ritual.

    For the future, anyone in Raggi’s stable is a fair target [Fine Carcosa and his excellent manners notwithstanding, Mckinney is as self regarding as any religious fruitcake and one of the most politically naive bloggers I have read.] I have to say I have no idea why Rob Conley is derided.

    =====

    With respect to “Guest Columnist”, I don’t think Suk Donjon knows just what a clever darling she is. Well here is a timely reminder,
    http://grognardia.blogspot.com/2011/06/pulp-fantasy-library-birthgrave.html

    Allow me the indulgence of quoting myself before discussing Tanith Lee’s 1975 novel, The Birthgrave:
    In my experience, Tanith Lee is an author about whom few have any ambivalence: you either love her writing or you hate it. For myself, I love it, although I’ll admit that I cannot take it in large doses, as it’s exceedingly rich — “florid,” some might call it — and I find it very easy to get lost in it without any real comprehension of what I’m reading.

    • Radovarl permalink
      June 27, 2011 8:04 am

      Nope, I’ve never blogged, though I think I used the Radovarl moniker on Dragonsfoot briefly a few years back. I find the medium next to worthless. Personally I think blogs encourage the sort of vain grandstanding that many of us here seem to deplore yet gawk at like typical highway accident rubberneckers. I feel much the same way about RPG forums. One echo chamber is much like another.

      For the record, and respectfully, I have to disagree about Carcosa. McKinney seems like a decent sort, but despite his obvious dedication to matters Lovecraftian, in my opinion he’s gotten it mostly wrong. He’s fallen prey to many of the same gross misinterpretations that Lovecraft’s pasticheurs have. A few reasons for this opinion:

      1) The Great Old Ones don’t give a shit about mankind one way or the other (heard of Cosmic Indifferentism?), hence all of the rituals involving human sacrifice and nonlethal degradation (were there any?) jar with me–you can’t bribe Cthulhu with virgin’s blood, or anything f’ing else; he doesn’t want squat from you, Mr. Sorcerer!

      2) McKinney has clearly read Ward & Kuntz’s questionable statting-up and description of the “mythos” (a misnomer) much more closely than he’s read the stories by HPL; case in point, the Great Race of Yith transfer their minds through time-space, and the rugose cones they inhabit on our world are NATIVE TO OUR WORLD!; therefore not much chance the Yithians would look the same on another fucking planet; it would have been seriously cool to have them on Carcosa, but with some other form for them to inhabit.

      3) ERB was a two-bit hack. Mixing and matching concepts from Barsoom and HPL is NOT the aesthetic equivalent of mixing peanut butter and chocolate; it’s like mixing excrement and chocolate.

      4) Supplement V? Arrogate much? And it’s not as if Supplement I – IV were exactly stellar efforts, either…

      5) As a father of two children, I look askance at anyone who could even conceive of some of the acts described in the rituals. Yes, I realize it’s fiction, but you won’t see me inviting John Norman of Gor fame over to meet the wife, either. Likewise, neither William Burroughs nor George McKinney are gonna be baby-sitting my kids anytime soon.

      —-
      Guest Columnist just takes himself way too seriously. Anyone who quotes lengthy passages in Latin at every Christian holiday needs to wake up and realize he comes across not simply as a sanctimonious twit, but a pencil-necked intellectual sanctimonious twit.

      Sorry for the rant, but if I’m getting out of the “community”, I need to let off the remaining steam. And BTW, Silvey, maybe it’s time to take off the veil :).

      • June 27, 2011 8:23 am

        “2) McKinney has clearly read Ward & Kuntz’s questionable statting-up and description of the “mythos” (a misnomer) much more closely than he’s read the stories by HPL;”

        I’ve seen him admit as much in more than one place. Folks don’t really get to choose what sets their imaginations alight, so I don’t really consider this a big deal.

      • Radovarl permalink
        June 27, 2011 8:46 am

        Fair enough, I suppose. It’s not a big deal. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. I find his interpretation a bit sloppy, though he seems to get the “mood” right. Adhering so closely to the DDG interpretations does make it seem like McKinney hasn’t put a whole lot of thought into this aspect of Carcosa, though. Just about any HPL enthusiast worth his salt could have done better than K&W, so you’ll pardon me if I’m not exactly inspired by McKinney regurgitating their work.

        I do realize that Carcosa isn’t meant to be “Call of Cthulhu” (which I also think misses the mark by drawing far too much from Derleth’s asinine take on HPL’s work). An unadulterated HPL RPG would likely be unplayable or at least not a lot of fun.

      • July 5, 2011 6:42 pm

        Radovarl wrote:Nope, I’ve never blogged, though I think I used the Radovarl moniker on Dragonsfoot briefly a few years back. I find the medium next to worthless. Personally I think blogs encourage the sort of vain grandstanding…

        You wrote eight or nine paragraphs on a blog to explain that you are not a blogger because bloggers are lame? Seriously, shouldn’t there be a limit on how many words a guy can write in the ‘comments’ section of OTHER people’s blogs and still say, “I am not a blogger”??

        You may as well just admit it and go ahead and reserve “RadovarlsAwesomeBlog.wordpress.com” right now.

    • Kent permalink
      June 28, 2011 12:27 pm

      Maybe you should start a blog, you have plenty to say. I know it seems like the majority of the community are cretinous geeks but … oh … I can’t quite remember how to finish out that sentence. Outside of entertaining a dozen solid guys and getting the occasionally interesting comment from a passerby, for me the blog is something to look back on in ten years as a sequence of snapshots of what Im doing now, I’ll browse over it in wonder, trying to convince myself that I am not an insane fuck for getting involved in D&D.

      highway accident rubberneckers

      Absofuckinglutely. I got close to a thousand visits for mocking Zak S, which proves that Raggi’s contempt for his readers’ by treating them as a flock devoted to the sensational is as percipient as it is weaselly. YDIS’ popularity is nothing more than the obverse of the popularity of those top dogs who crave followers, and they defined how the community functions so good luck to YDIS.

      Forums. I have never laughed so much at my own jokes as on Dragonsfoot. I will say no more.

      =====
      Carcosa.

      Your knowledge of Lovecraft’s works exceeds my own I’m sure. I think your point “1)” is very well made indeed. In fact Deities & Demigods set a poor precedent which prevented many DMs from conceiving for their campaigns a hierarchy of beings which exist outside of the mechanics of the game with a far more opaque abstract interaction.

      However, against the thrust of your comment I would say Carcosa is an emulation of The Book of Ebon Bindings for simplified D&D rules. The mood of Carcosa is derived from ca Smith. Lovecraft provided descriptions of familiar monsters and inspired a naming convention for the rest of the monsters with help from Smith, Dunsany et al..

      One excellence (relative to osr works) of the book is in McKinney’s maniacal fleshing out of the details. He did not rely on the moronic fashion for random tables to do all the heavy lifting as exhibited by the likes of Zak S. White Snow + Black Coal ==atomise==> Black Snow + White Coal — What fucking poetic genius.

      The second excellence is in his unflinching depiction of EVIL activites. Fathers and mothers of young children are not to be judged rational when considering the merits of a game in which EVIL sorcerers perform horrible acts on children. It is true that the same idea can be handled with greater subtlety and effect as in say, The Night of the Hunter. Nevertheless, the authenticity of the portrayal of a kind of evil is seen in the horrified reaction of many intelligent sensitive readers, though not the morally vain and morally incontinent readers.

      The book will be diminished in an art soaked edition by a company that produces texts with the image to word space ratio of a woman’s magazine. I have **NO** interest what McKinney or Raggi think a demon haunted might look like in concrete images. I read more widely than them and have my own ideas thanks.

      =====

      By the way Im going to lift this and your comment to my own blog for posterity.

      • June 23, 2012 8:15 pm

        “I read more widely than them and have my own ideas ”
        I’d very much like to see you expand on both of these points, Kent.

      • June 23, 2012 9:27 pm

        Never mind. I’ve just spent an hour on your blog. Please don’t take it down again until I’ve had few more days to read through it.

    • Kent permalink
      June 28, 2011 2:18 pm

      And it’s not as if Supplement I – IV were exactly stellar efforts, either…

      I didn’t notice this first time around.

      What games do you like Radovarl?

      • Radovarl permalink
        July 5, 2011 7:23 pm

        AD&D (“1st” ed). Gamma World (1st ed). Geekbaiting (all editions). I haven’t played a session of anything in over a year, and then it was DMing 3rd edition for converts from older editions who have “seen the light” and won’t listen to reason :). I’m slowly losing my taste for RPGs, I think in large part due to the overanalysis and bandwagon jumping in the blogosphere following EGG’s death (i.e., “The OSR stole my baby!”). On the other hand, I can’t seem to force myself not to read this shit even as I grow increasingly bitter about fuckwads like the Pornstar, Marketinggenius(tm), and the Wooden Indian blathering on.

        Re: RadovarlsAwesomeBlog.wordpress.com. Not a bad idea, YDIS. I might just do that.

      • July 5, 2011 7:44 pm

        That’s YDISIS that wrote that. Please don’t confuse us. Although he’s right in this case.

      • Radovarl permalink
        July 6, 2011 3:41 am

        Oh boy, sorry about that. Completely the extra suck.

  21. Roger Moret permalink
    June 27, 2011 10:48 am

    This interplay has left me wondering if I wandered into an English parlour by mistake. Kent, Rad, some eloquent wordplay and astute observation there, much impressed. And can I just say bravo, gentlemen, cheerio, thanks for bringing a much needed sense of civility to this untamed, raw blog that often wallows in feces, finger-banging and ass-fucking as a means of expression. Oh, Geez, I’m weeping here, and I promised I wouldn’t……carry on, lads!

  22. Timothy B. Shit permalink
    June 30, 2011 10:21 am

    All this sunshine and rainbows makes me puke pea soup. Kent and radovarl can get a room off the internet highway and make it official. Let’s have some more well articulated low brow stuff from Dungeon Suck. Pretty please with raw sewage on top.

  23. July 6, 2011 10:44 am

    Not sure how my wife got dragged into this mess (Bridget Meredith). She hasn’t written for our blog in almost a year, and has never commented on here. Neither have I. We don’t even play FASERIP.

    • FASERIP permalink
      July 6, 2011 3:05 pm

      It’s okay, hon.

      The cat’s out of the bag.

  24. July 9, 2011 2:05 pm

    Hell, I was accused of being FASERIP. Crazy stuff.

  25. FASERIP permalink
    July 13, 2011 12:28 am

    Can we get Stefan Poag added as Dan Quayle?

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