Skip to content

I Read It for Like 10 More Minutes and Now I’m Done

June 8, 2011

This is a game for children.  The class names should be changed to ‘Hank’, ‘Eric’, ‘Presto’, ‘Sheila’, ‘Diana’ and ‘Bobby’.  Here are stats for Uni: Init +2; Atk buttplug horn -4 melee (1d3-3); AC 12; HD 1d4+1; MV 40′; Act 1d20; SP make everyone’s ears bleed (DC20 Will); SV Fort -4, Ref +2, Will +0; AL Lawful Retarded; XP 100,000.

168 pages and this is the crippleware version?  I weep for the trees.

In OD&D the character involvement arc is upward – 1st level characters are just numbers and there’s no engagement because they will probably die, then as they level up you become more attached.  I predict DCC will be the opposite – your character is never cooler than when he survives his first dungeon as a 0th level dickweed, then as he levels up you gradually lose interest while you pine for a game that delivers more.  Best case scenario is that you translate the stats and port the character into a real RPG.

Peter Mullen needs to have his crayons taken away.  He is a terrible, terrible artist, just fucking abyssmal.

I will now go play Advanced Heroquest for about an hour, at which point I will remember how disappointing it is and toss it back in the garage.

20 Comments leave one →
  1. June 9, 2011 4:59 am

    “In OD&D the character involvement arc is upward – 1st level characters are just numbers and there’s no engagement because they will probably die, then as they level up you become more attached.”

    Please never spout highly accurate gaming wisdom again, you’ll spoil your reputation 😉

  2. otto permalink
    June 9, 2011 10:50 am

    Seriously? I thought everyone liked Pete Mullen. He’s awesome.

    • June 9, 2011 12:46 pm

      The love he gets is completely inexplicable. Why does every human he draws look like a C.I.F.A.L.?

      • Roger Moret permalink
        June 9, 2011 3:18 pm

        You hate Mullen and love the child-cock-gobbler McKinney? Holy shit you really are a retard.

      • Radovarl permalink
        June 10, 2011 10:49 am

        In McKinney’s defense, all of the horrific ritual child-rape and murder imagery in Carcosa is directed toward prepubescent girls. So no cock-gobbling, at least other than as a result of consuming the standard rations in the equipment list (just kidding).

  3. FASERIP permalink
    June 9, 2011 9:56 pm

    Today marks the beginning of one man’s harrowing crusade to end racism against orcs.

    • June 12, 2011 9:17 am

      Hush, bitch.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        June 12, 2011 10:19 am

        Ha! That’s awesome. We can never say we are truly free until our imaginary brothers are free from the yoke of oppression.

        …and “hush, bitch” is his best comeback?! What a tool.

      • FASERIP permalink
        June 12, 2011 5:11 pm

        Don’t you have some convict’s needs to attend to?

      • Supersonic Man permalink
        June 18, 2011 5:20 pm

        Why must you inflict your politically correct jackassery upon unsuspectimg blog readers the world over?

        Just like your namesake – Christian – you are apparently compelled to prosthelytize on behalf of your faith, only your religion isn’t Christianity, it’s Political Correctness.

        There is no bigger fool, no more ridiculous jackass, than a disciple of Political Correctness who can’t stop himself from self-righteously parroting the catchphrases of neo-Marxist theology.

  4. Roger Moret permalink
    June 11, 2011 4:16 am

    Holy fuck, thanks for the link Fas, that dude’s blog is a treasure trove of suck. “Home Invasions”……classic!

    • Christian permalink
      June 12, 2011 9:34 am

      At some point, Roger, you might want to stand by your own opinions on your own blog instead of writing “fuck”, “retard” and “suck” in various combinations here.

      • Sykirobme permalink
        June 12, 2011 10:20 am

        I think he’s doing a good job expressing his opinions here. Hush, bitch.

      • Kent permalink
        June 12, 2011 4:15 pm

        By some misfortune Suk has attracted a factory of tiny cursing robots to his site tirelessly echoing snippets of Suk’s vehement poetic stink like a bunch of witless electric bunny rabbits.

      • FASERIP permalink
        June 12, 2011 5:11 pm

        Kent never met an adjective he didn’t like, a sure symptom of a tin ear.

      • Kent permalink
        June 12, 2011 5:20 pm


      • Roger Moret permalink
        June 13, 2011 7:47 am

        Christian, why don’t you suck my dick, you fucking retard?
        Sorry, too easy.
        These comments seem appropriate to the blog and it’s writer. Read back in this blog a bit and show me all the intellectual, introspective rhetoric I’m spoiling by my cursing.

  5. Chainsaw permalink
    June 11, 2011 3:37 pm

    Fucking around with 4E killed my enthusiasm to learn new systems. For me, O/AD&D ain’t broke, so I’m not trying to fix it. A fun table from here, an interesting subsystem from there is all I really need these days.

  6. Timothy permalink
    June 13, 2011 10:24 am

    Up yours, Kent! Liking your last posts, hope you have changed your mind about leaving this rancid little community. Jmal might actually get some sleep at night if you do.

    Mullen has devolved from homage to caricature.

  7. Nihilist permalink
    June 13, 2011 7:10 pm

    What you have to really love is the junior league attention whores like Greg Christopher where his every post seems like a scream for “I wanna be James Raggi but instead of owning my envy I figure out new and inventive ways to puff his ego. Wanh Listen to Me. “:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: