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“Oh – Oh… Think of the Children!!!”

December 1, 2010

So Raggi the Fourth’s latest post was super long and like a couple sentences in his shit was already all retarded and my eyes glazed over, but I guess the punchline is that there’s going to be tits and fisting and chopped off dongs or something in the boxed reiteration of his boxed set of the same old crap, which will probably be re-boxed in another year and sold to more Gardeners again until Jim owns the combined $3,821 that has been accumulated by his most ardent fans after years of collecting bottles and selling semen and getting injected with experimental AIDS vaccines.

Anyway, the funny part happened in the comments when a bunch of fumbledicks started bleating about their children being exposed to unshaven taints, and the two chicks that buy the box getting frowny faces because there’s pictures of other chicks tied up in chains, blah fucking blah.  One of the most passionate dickflowers is this dude, who’s busy watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and getting his labia all scuffed up over what kind of problem-solving skills Toodles is inflicting on his precious little snowflakes.  Good thing he doesn’t stick around for Handy Manny or his fucking head would explode – “Why can’t the hammer saw wood?  Why can’t the pipe wrench be used to measure shit?  WAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!”

What the fraggle is MY point?  My point is that all these assbags that worry about their kids seeing a picture of some balls just make me want to tell them the following about how their kids are going to turn out:

15 Comments leave one →
  1. David Howarth permalink
    December 1, 2010 12:42 pm


    • Sykirobme permalink
      December 1, 2010 1:23 pm

      Oh, come now, he at least showed us the blog of the asswipe who thinks the Mickey Mouse Club is dangerous.

  2. David Howarth permalink
    December 1, 2010 1:44 pm

    Yeah, but I already checked that out myself, after reading Raggi’s blathering idiocy and the equally stupid responses. I guess I was just ahead of the curve on this one.

    But this kind of thing (at least when it comes to Raggi) is old hat. Why not analyze the continuing clusterfuck that is “Lord of the Green Dragons” or some equally abysmal failure?

    • December 1, 2010 2:43 pm

      Reading ‘Lord of the Green Dragons’ actually leads to diminshed cognitive function. It’s quite dangerous, like a reverse-‘Flowers for Algernon.’ It’s all yours.

      • David Howarth permalink
        December 1, 2010 3:49 pm

        I have no doubt you’re right about that… I’ve been feeling a bit woozy lately, and I now realize that it’s because I’ve been stopping by Rob’s joint and actually trying to figure out what the hell he’s trying to say. I need to stop doing that post-haste; hopefully my diminished faculties will recover in time.

        No, I don’t want it either. But that does remind me that I’ve yet to read “Flowers for Algernon”, so I think I’ll do something constructive and get right on that. Might also help counteract the Curse of El Raja Key.

    • Sykirobme permalink
      December 1, 2010 5:41 pm

      I think RJK’s non-picture posts are all about him being an “artist” or something. And talking about how he wants to do “new” work while simultaneously pushing out the same old crap he’s always pushed out. Oh, and lamenting the fact that things ain’t the way they used to be.

      Kask is a more fun target from the old guard.

      But there are a universe of derision-worthy blogs out there. BX Blackrazor dude is insane, f’rinstance. It’d be fun to see the targets move beyond Raggi.

      • Jack Colby permalink
        December 1, 2010 10:00 pm

        Great point. It was interesting reading the Blackrazor post about how terrible WEG’s Star Wars was… because the characters didn’t “level up” as fast as those in the films did! I could almost imagine the froth dribbling out of the corners of his mouth as I read it.

      • David Howarth permalink
        December 1, 2010 11:01 pm

        I’d have to agree that Kask is much the sorrier case. At least RJK has been trying to be an RPG designer all of these many years since the “glory days”, however woefully he may have failed at it. Kask on the other hand checked out in ’83 after being the inaugural editor of The Dragon for a handful of years when it sucked (yeah, you heard me), left right when it got much better (coincidence?), founded another gaming magazine which almost immediately went tits up (Adventure Gaming, anyone?), with a total of zero design credits, and now for whatever reason thinks he still has some sort of RPG industry street cred (if there is such an animal) and wants to publish his campaign notes.

  3. Kent permalink
    December 1, 2010 3:21 pm

    He could have said, ‘Horror, think now <horror>, might offend.’ but why should Raggi be succinct when he is talking about himself and his empire? What psychiatrist would say prematurely ‘please stop speaking now that’s enough,’ before Raggi has unloaded an hoursworth of vision.

    David Howarth, one should not read a gaming blog in anger or with a critical eye. Open your heart to the beautiful personality behind the fumbled phrases and bungled concepts. Although now that I think of it I would like to see SuckDungeon do a number on Zak S.’s psychopathically egotistical blog.

    • David Howarth permalink
      December 1, 2010 3:52 pm

      The posts over there do seem to be getting progressively longer. Maybe he’s contracted an acute case of logarrhea… oh, wait, I’m still thinking of RJK, and with him it’s chronic with attendant diction and grammar complications. Thought lately he seems to be going for an, “almost all pictures I’ve found wandering around the Internet,” format.

    • December 2, 2010 4:20 am

      There are several high profile blogs whose authors can’t coherently communicate, or have delusions of grandeur, or are completely unhinged and may be a post or two away from a spectacular public flameout. These are my favorites and I have no idea why anyone would want them to stop.

  4. jmags permalink
    December 1, 2010 11:34 pm

    Jmal announced two vanity projects last month. Get it together.

  5. December 2, 2010 3:30 am

    Ironic that my comment that Raggi will have fewer sales to gamers with children if he depicts insane violence in his artwork has been transformed into some kind of moral crusade against him. I guess on the internet, you cannot predict something will go poorly for a business without being accused of trying to ruin everyone’s fun. Apparently, you cannot even say “if you do that, I won’t buy it” without being an overprotective parent. I guess the good parents are showing their small children pictures of extreme violence.

    I am not “offended” nor do I even care what Raggi does. I really don’t. I was just making a prediction about what will happen to someone who puts that kind of art in an RPG book. Hell, the dude was talking about getting artwork that will get him ARRESTED. Hardly regular fare, that.

    And nice try, but Handy Manny sucks. Bad writing. Everyone knows this 🙂


  6. December 2, 2010 7:46 pm

    What the… how the fuck does someone write that much about D&D? I just finished a term paper that was shorter than that.

  7. Josh permalink
    December 9, 2010 11:15 pm

    Won’t touch LotFP with a 10′ pole especially now that Raggi is getting in bed with the baby raping RPG. If that makes me some kind of moral crusader so be it.

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