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What a Drag…

October 18, 2010

Ugghh, Christ… here’s some bullshit.  I was hoping these two would stumble into a brain-transflector, but they wandered into a combinator instead.  Fuck.  For those of you looking forward to ‘deluxe Carcosa’ here’s what you’ll get:

  • Sorcerers renamed ‘Spellcialists’
  • sweet-ass golf pencil
  • free subscription to Finnish heavy metal ‘zine
  • collectible pricing, ie. original Carcosa $10, Raggi Carcosa 25 Euros
  • Mad Libs-style ritual writeups, so you can DIY restore the child raping that had to be removed to conform to demands from Raggi’s ‘distribution network’
  • 50% more ‘weird’… woooooooohooooo!
  • horseshit follow-up offer to join the ‘Carcosa Gardening Society’

Disappointing news.  At least I’m drunk right now…

5 Comments leave one →
  1. October 18, 2010 5:44 am

    Now, I grant that I am basing this solely on their comments in the various blogs since I sure as tootin’ ain’t gonna let this thing be played at any table I’m at, but as near as I can tell, there are primarily two groups of people who play the Carcosa supplement,

    1. Those who revel in being edgy and hip and in laughingly giving the finger to the people they consider prudes,

    2. Those who need more fuel for their already frightening masturbation fantasies but will never admit it outside of a prison cell.

    Group one I suspect probably really hasn’t thought the activity through. They’re too busy being cool and “real” and grown-up and mature to think about how childish and silly and puerile their own collective philosophy is. Or perhaps they do know it and, Brittney Spears-like, have simply decided to “own” their idiocy, as if embracing something that is idiotic magically makes it less idiotic.

    Group two thinks about the game constantly.

    Both camps can bite me.

    I actually find the first group more offensive than the second. The second group is simply fetishizing on autopilot, nursing the adolescent fantasies they developed ten or twenty or thirty years ago. The first group is providing cover by lecturing everyone else about how naive and childish we are for thinking that a game that’s about killing monsters shouldn’t also be as nasty and bloody and perverted as it really can be if we just try hard enough, and, hey, if we’re not down with the bold, honest kind of gaming Carcosa represents then we’re all ridiculous prudes, oh, and hey, if we’re not down with Carcosa and our objections are religion-based then we’re also somehow hypocrites. And still ridiculous prudes. It should be noted that in the lexicon of most D&D enthusiasts, to be a religious prude is worlds worse than merely being a “normal” prude. You’re faithful to your wife? Ahhhh, that’s so nice. What’s that? You also go to church? You effing retard freak!!

    Group two, it should be said, is scary in a way the pathetic wanna-be iconoclasts of Group 1 never will be no matter how hard they try. These are the guys who, when they go to bookstores, spend hours thumbing through the pornographically detailed violent paperbacks in the True Crime section. They just find it so . . . interesting, ya know? So vital! Really gets the blood pumpin’, ya know?? YEAH!! Let’s go PLAY SOME CARCOSA!! [pulls up pants, calls friends.]

    Well, whatever.

    Again, to both groups: Bite. Me.

    No! Wait – stop – ah, dammit. Now they’ve just gone and made an unholy ritual out of biting me.

    Well, that’s just wonderful.

    • October 18, 2010 3:10 pm

      Wow, that was fucking tedious. Listen dude, writing dumb shit on other people’s blogs is lame but acceptable. Writing LOOOOONG dumb shit on other people’s blogs is goddamn reprehensible. Save this crap for your own blog.

      Do you happen to be a Yellow Leper? I just learned The Leprous Dweller Below and I’m dying to try it out…

  2. FASERIP permalink
    October 18, 2010 7:00 pm

    What happens when the Brian Peppers of OD&D fandom and the Transatlantic Stalker team up for a mutual rape fantasy?

    Stay tuned (and keep your PayPal account active) to find out more!

    The OSR™ — Selling You Shit You Already Own Since 2006.©

  3. Kent permalink
    October 22, 2010 1:52 am

    If you don’t stop using rude words Im going to keep reading this dumb shit.

    Also, what gives you the right, Mr. High and Mighty, to so crudely dismiss the efforts of simpletons just because everything you say is true?

  4. Lex Sleuthor permalink
    October 24, 2010 2:51 pm

    About two years ago I stumbled onto the OSR blogosphere and, in lieu of the social life I once enjoyed when I was unattached and at an age where people still liked meeting new people, I happily devoured the great opinions and content. Although good stuff is still being posted, I had started to notice a creeping materialism (buy MY Mc Dungeon!), seriousness (Sniping Blog Hissyfit of the Month), navel gazing (Philosophical Ruminations on Feminism and the Random Harlot Table), and link incest (Here’s a Link to a Link List as Linked to by Another Site!).

    Good to see there’s one mad voice railing against all that out there in the wilderness. I’ll put up with the vitriol and off colour ranting because sometimes this blogger is spot on, and because anyone taking internet trollbait discussion or games with funny dice seriously deserves a bit of lampooning. Satire is the antidote to self-importance.

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