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This Isn’t Fair

September 24, 2010

How can I kick James Edward Raggi the Fourth’s dick in the dirt if he takes the wind out of my sails by obviously hamming it up for the camera, like a caricature of every dork gamer stereotype that has ever existed?  He just went down a goddamn list and overplayed every part, setting controlled burns so there would be no brush left for me to ignite:

  1. excessively bloated & oily? [check]
  2. molester-rific pube-textured neckbeard? [check]
  3. confounding brow configuration that is either a unibrow or a tubular ridge of congealed lard? [check]
  4. “James Edward Raggi the Fourth”? [check]
  5. nasal turd voice? [check]
  6. shifty inability to maintain eye contact? [check]
  7. coquettish hair tosses & eyebrow waggles designed to woo the female interviewer? [check]
  8. obvious delusions that the chick has any interest whatsoever in him or the fucking horseshit coming out of his mouth? [check]
  9. stupid banter that initially sounds self-deprecating, but is actually designed to provide the barest cover for his unchecked arrogance & boundless ego? [check]

Christ, I have to congratulate him for that act.  I mean, it was all an act, right?  He couldn’t possibly be that douche-y in real life…

21 Comments leave one →
  1. otto permalink
    September 24, 2010 9:57 am

    He really isn’t that bad at all. I mean, shit. Yeah, he goes on, but damn. The interviewer actually does seem to find him sorta funny.

  2. September 24, 2010 11:40 pm

    Jesus fuck, you must have a real boner for this guy. You’re probably just mad at him because you found out the “Lamentations of the Flame Princess” title wasn’t in reference to your slashfic you wrote thinking of him.

    When are you going to take submissions for guest writers on here? If you’re going to piss into the brush fire you need better material.

  3. September 27, 2010 11:56 am

    I always want to introduce him as “Jim Raggi, the Flame Princess”

  4. September 27, 2010 7:43 pm

    You must be disappointed at the fate of the first printing of his game.

    • September 29, 2010 1:38 am

      At first I was, because I thought that this would encourage a bunch of additional pointless, retarded fucking clones (I’m looking at you, Malislutski)… but then how many people have access to a liberal socialist government and the nuts to go out there and gin up some taxpayer dough?

      • September 30, 2010 9:13 pm

        Yes, well…’socialism’ didn’t make his first run sell out.

      • Scott permalink
        October 29, 2010 10:47 pm

        It’s not just Europeans under the government teat. The Small Business Administration here in the US offers a similar microloan program that backs third-party loans up to $15,000 for new enterprises, greatly increasing the chance of one’s boondoggle being funded.

  5. FASERIP permalink
    September 29, 2010 3:55 am

    If you’re catching flak, you’re over the target.

    Nice return to form for this blog.

  6. otto permalink
    September 29, 2010 11:31 pm

    Aight, so can I add you to my list of do-not-read conservative fuckwits? I mean, am I reading your response right? Because if so, you can just go die in a ditch.

    • September 30, 2010 5:47 am

      Add me to your list of people who don’t give a fuck about your stupid fucking lists, numbnuts. Aight?

  7. otto permalink
    September 30, 2010 6:23 am

    Yeah, well, you’re in the club with Rob Conley, Green Skeleton Guild guy, and a couple other tea party asshole’s terrible, terrible blogs.

    • September 30, 2010 5:01 pm

      In the club, or on the list? Your sorting system is confusing as shit, but if being a Tea Partier is what it takes to get your ass out the door, then sign me up and tell Glenn Beck to drop by for a rimjob.

  8. annoyed sockpuppet permalink
    October 2, 2010 11:14 am

    otto, as trolls go, you need improvement. I’m here to help.

    For assuming that YDIS is somehow a conservative member of the Tea Party because he correctly pointed out that Raggi lives in a socialist country, I’ll give you a solid “C”. A more competent troll would have taken that route, but done more with it, like accusing YDIS of taking orders from Sarah Palin and the Christian Right, who secretly own Dungeons & Dragons, and who therefore want to destroy all OSR competition for $$$, and who thus use a willing YDIS for their infernal ends.

    [YDIS, by the way, should have taken his remark one step further by mocking both Raggi and the OSR for giving Raggi props for a game that was essentially co-written and edited by a horde of OSR bloggers who received no pay, and all in the interest of producing a game that differs from all the other clones solely – solely – by its arrangement of the adjectives used to describe all the generic elements that it has and that are in all the other clones. One hopes that YDIS will do better in the future.]

    otto, I’ll also give you a solid “C” for whackjob vitriol, but only a “C”.

    “Fuckwits,” “asshole,” and, my favorite, “you can just go die in a ditch” are, you know, only so-so epithets. Pedestrian, really. There’s vast room for improvement. Stop commenting over at YouTube (because it makes an angry person lazy and too easily self-satisfied), grab yourself a copy of P.G. Wodehouse to give yourself a more fluid vocabulary, and then you’ll start making a real splash, you drooling, encephalitic miscegenation; you unfortunate product of a forced union between a be-poxed “exotic dander” and whichever transient was waiting out in the back alley after last call when said be-poxed exotic dancer went to relieve herself because she’s always been a little creeped out using the toilets at the bar ever since that episode with the five flannel-wearing grays who kidnapped her, took her aboard the Chevy half-ton mothership and did the whole anal probe thing in the flatbed – you remember that story, right? It produced you, after all, you lightweight floater.

    Just kidding, of course. I mock because I love, but mostly to instruct.

    See how it’s done? Did you catch the whole “splash” and “floater” bookends? Pretty brilliant if I do say so myself.

    Don’t be so quick to hit enter, otto. Count to ten and think. Could your wish for a clearly politically conservative (and therefore evil and inhuman) YDIS to DIE use a second or even a third instance of profanity, or does a single one fit the bill? Questions like this are important, especially when the profanity is framing your aggressive and murderous lust for another person’s blood. One doesn’t ever want this particular kind of sentiment misread, or lost in a sea of obscene gerunds and whatnot.

    Be persistent. You will improve.

    Ya cute l’il knucklehead, you.

    • October 2, 2010 1:51 pm

      Do kids these days say ‘correctly’ to mean ‘ludicrously’, like ‘bad’ used to mean ‘good’? Or do you not know what ‘socialism’ means?

  9. redfaced sockpuppet permalink
    October 2, 2010 6:05 pm

    Never blog at 5 am after a 20-hour day and when you’re spoiling for a fight. That is the lesson I have learned. Apologies to all. What seemed funny at the time now just seems dorky. Time for me to slink off to the showers now.

    Although “you can just go die in a ditch” did seem to merit at least an attempt at a response. Gotta go check my tongue in the mirror now. Bye!

  10. otto permalink
    October 2, 2010 7:11 pm

    Great job on the wall of text champ.

    • October 2, 2010 7:20 pm

      Hey now, people apologising for bad posts is rare enough that you shouldn’t keep fighting them once they do.

  11. otto permalink
    October 2, 2010 7:29 pm

    Oh, fair enough.

  12. amused sockpuppet permalink
    October 3, 2010 7:37 pm

    This all feels so . . . so . . . incongruous. You know, for this site and all.

    So. How ’bout them Dodgers, huh?

  13. nasal fag voice permalink
    May 22, 2011 12:42 pm

    nasal fag voice?

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