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Telling It Like It Isn’t

February 17, 2010

James Malizesewskiweswesky is confronted by a drooling, slack-jawed & wandering-eyed piece-of-shit product and cannot bring himself to put it out of its misery.  Instead he backs into the ring and, with the apologetic instincts of an abused wife, cuts loose a critical broadsides composed of nerf balls and featherdusters in the best “Gee whiz, you sure are a hero for trying!” tone he can muster.

Careful readers will note that he finds absolutely nothing praiseworthy about this abortion: the writing is amateurish & insufferable, the content useless, and the gall to levy a charge for it indefensible.  Yet his criticisms are framed with such Pollyanna-ish enthusiasm at the wonderfulness of its mere existence, that the entire review serves only as an atta-boy that is bound to encourage rather than more properly excoriate; and indeed, in the comments section, the publishers gush their piss-pants excitement about unleashing follow-up crimes against a largely innocent public.

Will the OSR ever advance beyond passing out participation medals to every slobbering retard that bangs its lumpen, cushion-helmeted head against a keyboard?  Should Canadians be excluded from any literary tasks that require the brutal honesty of the hangman’s knot?  If a tree falls amidst the thwack of axes and the scream of chainsaws, will anyone in this dwindling forest of a hobby hear it?

One Comment leave one →
  1. February 18, 2010 7:06 pm

    Do you do podcasts, too? Those fuckers over at The Podge Cast need to be set straight.

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