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Tonight’s Worstest Person

February 16, 2010

Jimmaaaaay! must be worried that no one wants to pay $60 for his Finnish taxpayer scam job, so he advocates murder as part of his advertising campaign.  It’s an ambitious five-tiered plan guaranteed to score impressions:

1. Coax dungeon-dwelling nutjob into turning her rage outward – presto, we got some corpses!

2. Feed salacious details to inbred, grammar-challenged Southie reporter; cue outrage from the Jerry Springer crowd.

3. Victims’ caskets to be stickered with LotFP promo materials: “Got Death?”, “Monsters, Metal & Murder @ www.lotfp.com“, etc.

4. Corpses of victims to be dug up and used as props for a LARP version of Death Frost Doom.

5. Profit!

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